"There's no signs anywhere of a fight, or even a struggle." Mobius assessed. "No marks from any lightning, nothing smashed or hit with the hammer, nothing!"
"Do you think he was swallowed up by some sort of forest spirit?" Detective Loki pondered. "Something powerful enough to take Thor, but not worthy to take his hammer?" He held out his hand, but Mjolnir wouldn't come to him. He then tried to pick it up manually, but it wouldn't budge, even with Mobius and Sylvie helping him. "Something's preventing us from lifting it!"
"Odin put an enchantment on it so that only Thor can move it." Sif explained. "That's why it has remained here since his disappearance."
"So it isn't a matter of worthiness this time around, just a matter of identity."
"Well of course, Odin can't let the hammer fall into anyone else's hands!" Fandral explained. "He certainly wouldn't want anything to happen to his only son!"
"Yes, of course…"
"So he's somewhere Heimdall can't see him at and he can't summon Mjolnir from!" Sylvie put a hand to her chin. "Then if we could just find out where in the universe Heimdall's blind spots are, we find Thor!"
"That is, if he still is in this universe." Mobius added.
"Oh, he is: let's search for Thor here first!" Volstagg quickly said, pounding his chest with his fist. "He's somewhere in this forest, I can feel it right here!"
"Are you certain that's Thor you feel and not heartburn?" The Jotun prince teased, prompting a laugh from Fandral.
"Wait, I think I saw something- behind those trees!" Sif pointed again.
"Was it-" Hogun started.
"I think it was Thor- come on!" The group followed Sif through the forest, the atmosphere gradually getting mistier and the trees livelier and more colorful, until they reached a beautiful meadow, featuring a herd of unicorns around a crystal clear lake.
"Are those actual unicorns?" The Muspel Logi stared in shock. "I thought they were made up, like narwhals!"
"Oh, they're real, and Alfheim is their most natural habitat." Detective Loki told him. "Coincidentally, we just saw a narwhal on our last case."
"But why would Thor be here, in an enchanted meadow?" Gnista wondered. "From what I've heard, it doesn't seem like his style."
"Maybe the unicorns helped him drive off the villains?" Jotun Loki guessed. "Unicorns are way cool!"
Mobius then nudged his adopted Loki. "Hey, why don't you ask them if they've seen Thor?" His Loki gave him a perplexed look. "What? You talk to snakes, so talking to horses shouldn't be too difficult for you, right?"
"I-" Detective Loki cut off as he noticed a diverse crowd of people hiding behind the trees, getting ready to surround them. "It's a trap, we've walked right into an ambush!" He shouted just before the hidden masses sprung out at them from all sides! Loki and Sylvie readied their magic and their swords, and the Fire Giant trio created a blazing wall of flame around them, spooking the unicorns. The mischievous couple prepared to attack anyone who attempted to get past the wall, but the surrounding group of various Light Elf tribes, Asgardians, Vanir, Jotuns, Skrulls, Ravagers, Sakaarans, and more all shouted at them in unison!
"SURPRISE!"
Loki and Sylvie both ceased fire as Thor stepped foward, summoning Mjolnir into his hand, and he flew with it up to his timeline's Loki. "Happy birthday, Loki!"
"What?!" The detectives turned to Loki Laufeyson, who was just as surprised as they were. "Bro, you set this all up for me?"
"Of course: it's not every day my brother from another mother turns a thousand forty six years old!"
"Only… my birthday is tomorrow, the 17th!"
"I know, Bro: that's what makes it such a surprise!" Thor raised his hammer to the sky, and as loud music began to play throughout the area, he transformed his royal Asgardian armor into a glittery Elvis costume. "Like my new party outfit? I got the style from Las Vegas of Midgard! VIVA LAS VEGAS!"
While the brothers started dancing with the others, the detectives turned to Sif and the Warriors Three. "Sorry to fool you, detectives." Sif told them. "But we didn't wish to spoil Thor's surprise. The mystery of Thor's 'disappearance' was just a ploy to lure Loki here: we didn't expect him to hire professionals to help him!"
"Well, we may as well enjoy the party while we're here." Sylvie suggested. She gestured to her fiancé and herself. "It's both of our birthdays tomorrow as well!"
"Indeed it is!" Detective Loki concurred. He offered Sylvie his hand. "Shall we dance, my fierce beauty?"
"We shall." The two Lokis danced together, and a young brunette soon joined Thor in turn.
"Loki, you remember my girlfriend from Midgard, Jane Foster? Jane, this is my best friend and honorary brother, Loki!"
"I remember." Jane unenthusiastically replied.
"You know, since it is my birthday, you didn't happen to bring a friend for me, did you?" Loki wondered.
"Sorry, I don't know anyone your size."
"Oh, I'm not picky! I certainly don't mind feeling big!"
Detective Loki, overhearing the conversation, walked up to his frosty variant. "If you're looking for a date, we have an interested Muspel lady with a Loki obsession: her name is Fiamma." He gestured to the Muspel sibling trio, who watched with embarrassment as the time variant of their father gave an oddly flirty tour to a liberated Statue of Liberty.
"Ugh, Dad, really?" Gnista groaned.
"He's gone senile!" Logi added.
"It's like everyone in this universe is a complete idiot." Fiamma remarked. "Hold on, I'll go set 'dear old Dad' straight!" The oldest daughter of Surtur marched over to him, intent on scolding his silly behavior.
Loki Laufeyson nodded. "Oh, right, your lady self mentioned her earlier. I've never dated a Muspel before, but you know what they say, opposites attract!" He strutted over toward the Fire Giants, stopping in front of Gnista and Logi and offering his hand to the former. "Hello there! You are quite the smoldering beauty; would you like to dance?"
Gnista blinked in surprise. "No, no, not me, it's my sister who's hot for you! You want Fiamma!"
The Jotun prince charmingly grinned. "Well now, I think that's up for me to decide who I want, and I like you."
"Well don't, do you have any idea what she'll do to me if she catches me with you!? She'll murder me!"
Loki clasped her fiery hands in his icy ones, and she cooled herself down in response. "Then I'll just have to protect you, darling. Your sister doesn't own either of us. Just one dance, please?" Logi shook his head with trepidation, and though Gnista feared and knew better, there was something in this Loki's charming demeanor that quelled her fears, and she accepted his offer, slow dancing with her prince as if they were the stars of a fairy tale.
Logi gulped. "Welp, there goes another sister. I hope they finish before Fiamma does!"
Detective Loki didn't notice, as he was currently dancing another round with Sylvie while Mobius was getting some firefly wine from the Moon Elves. Unfortunately, Fiamma's talk with her father's variant didn't last long.
"Father, that's not a woman, that is a statue!" Fiamma insisted.
"Dob't listen to her, Baby." Surtur reassured his 'date.' "I have no children. She's just jealous she can't get a date."
Fiamma just shook her head. "This is the great king of Muspelheim who dreamt of razing the universe with the legendary Twilight Sword? Pathetic." Recalling her true purpose for being there, she began to seek out the birthday boy, but before she could find him, her brother quickly got her attention.
"Hey Fiamma, you should try the cocktail shrimp here, they're delicious! Ooh, and they have your favorite: barbecued shark kabobs!" Logi suggested, but she walked past him, ever intent on finding Loki. "Ooh, and the wine- it's to die for!" He offered his older sister a glass, but she continued to ignore him until she spotted her love interest on the dance floor, pressed close against her younger sister. She froze.
"Uh, Fiamma?" Logi hesitantly asked. "Are- are you sure you don't want that wine?" He finally found the nerve to look her in the eyes, which burned with jealousy and rage. He called out to Gnista as Fiamma headed straight for them. "RUN, GNISTA, RUN FOR YOUR LIFE!"
Gnista turned just in time to see her sister shoot a stream of flame between her and her prince charming. Fiamma quickly dove into the fiery stream and grabbed hold of her sister before she could flee the scene. Fiamma glared at them both, terrifying Gnista while Loki only looked annoyed.
"Gnista… what are you doing with my Loki?"
"I was… uh, warming him up for you?"
"I beg your pardon!" Jotun Loki interjected. "I'm not your Loki: I belong to no one! Gnista is funny and charming and beautiful, and I would much rather be with her than you, if you don't mind." He stated plainly.
"Oh no." Detective Loki mumbled as he and his team noticed the situation.
"You traitor…" Fiamma simmered. "I'll kill you both… I'LL KILL YOU!" The Fire Demoness gave an ear-splitting roar, unleashing a powerful burst of fire at everything around her. Fortunately for the Jotun prince, his variant teleported in front of him, immediately casting his most powerful ice barrier to weaken the blast, protecting his variant and the others in range and pushing them out of the line of fire! The enraged Fire Giantess huffed, physically and emotionally exhausted, while everyone in the vicinity stared at her with fear and repulsion, as many of them had still gotten caught in the blast, especially Detective Loki, the trees and ground around them charred to ashes. The unicorns had quickly fled, sensing the malice radiating from her beforehand, and soon, Thor flew down to her, pointing his hammer in her direction.
"Hey you, angry Fire Giant lady! Are you trying to poop on my party?"
"Whoa! Bro, she tried to kill me!" Jotun Loki told Thor as he got up, and Detective Loki healed both his own burns and the others'.
Hearing that, Thor angrily swung his hammer to the side, pointing outward. "You dare threaten my brother on his birthday!? Get out! No party for you!" The others agreed with Thor, calling Fiamma a monster, a she-demon, a hothead, and more insulting names as she turned away and left to be alone.
"You okay?" Sylvie asked her Loki.
"Yeah, it's all healed up."
"You know, call me crazy, but I still feel kinda bad for her." Mobius said. "That's the second Loki in a row we've seen choose a girl's sister over her; I'm sure you can relate, Lokes."
Detective Loki nodded. "I can relate to the anger, but I wouldn't… try to kill everyone in a fiery explosion over it!"
"Oh really, this coming from the guy who repeatedly wanted to burn my old workplace to the ground? Try putting yourself in Fiamma's place: back when you were getting to know Sylvie, if you saw her get intimate with Thor-"
"Ewww!" Loki and Sylvie reacted in unison.
"Yeah, I know, it's hypothetical! How would you react?"
"…I'd murder him."
"Well there you go! Besides, she's still got that megalomaniacal mindset of taking whatever she wants, not to mention the same sibling complex you had with Thor."
"…Do you think I should talk with her?"
"Better you than me: you've got ice and a Symbiote to protect yourself." Mobius pointed out. Loki nodded again and left to find Fiamma.
After the Jotuns and the Ice and Sea Elves put out the remainder of the fires, the unicorns gradually returned to their old stomping grounds.
Party Thor patted his brother on the back. "So Loki, let's see if you're worthy enough to ride the famed unicorn!"
"Oh, you want to make this a competition, Thor Odinson?"
Thor grinned. "Oh, it's on, Laufeyson!"
The Light Elves laughed as Thor and Loki ran after the unicorns, trying to catch the majestic creatures, but they proved too fast for even the brotherly duo. Party Thor and Jotun Loki ran around in vain, Thor even flying after them while Loki created a wall of ice to trap them, but the unicorns still managed to escape them, and the brothers eventually crashed into each other.
"Okay, bad idea." Thor admitted.
"Ehehe, I appreciate the thought, though."
The queen of the Light Elves giggled with her consorts at the sight. "Boys, I'm afraid those unicorns only allow the purest maidens to ride them, but you're welcome to enjoy the rest of what our realm has to offer on your special day."
"Thank you, Queen Featherwine of the Fay." Loki Laufeyson responded. "Your planet is amaaaaaazing!"
"Yeahhh it is; I knew you'd love it, Bro!" Party Thor agreed.
"Oh no, it's him!" Sylvie groaned as she noticed Howard the Duck with Darcy as Dr. Selvig joined Jane on the dance floor, warning her about Thor and especially Loki from the stories he grew up with, but Jane wouldn't be convinced.
Suddenly, the Jotun king Laufey arrived with his entourage, carrying an enormous cake with them. He stopped in front of his son and smiled. "We picked this up for you on Midgard, Son: they call it an ice cream cake. Happy birthday, Loki."
Loki's eyes lit up at the sight of the magnificent dessert. "Ohhh, that looks amazing! Thanks Dad, you're the best!" He hugged his dad and made a wish before he blew out the candles and cut himself a big piece of cake. "Did the Midgardians give you any trouble?"
"No, I took the secret passage to Midgard you showed me, and I told everyone I was going to a party as Jack Frost." Laufey recounted.
"Nice!"
"An ice cream cake?" Sylvie repeated. "Loki's not gonna want to miss this!" She left to find her fiancé while Mobius held their place in line.
The Ravagers took their turn at trying to ride the unicorns next, though they failed just as miserably as the others. However, they were astounded to see one of the loveliest unicorns walk straight up to a black-haired girl in green who sported a pair of antennae on her head.
"Hello, friendly sparkle horse, my name is Mantis." She calmly spoke as she petted its mane. The unicorn immediately knelt down for her to climb its back, and she rode her dazzling horned horse all through the meadow.
"Did you see that, Sir?" A Ravager whispered to his superior.
"I sure did; all we have to do is trick that silly girl, and the unicorns are ours for the taking! They'll sell for millions, maybe even billions of credits! Gef, let's make a new friend."
"Right away, Lieutenant Taserface!"
While everyone else watched in amazement, the Grandmaster had Topaz sneak him an extra piece of cake. The Skrulls entertained the Jotun prince by shapeshifting into him while a team of Vanir, led by Thor's maternal aunt Gullveig, performed magic for him and his eager brother, transforming some frogs they brought into flowers and filling the area with a lovely array of petals.
Before Mobius reached the cake, however, he noticed a rainbow-colored light beam down from the sky, and in it appeared All-father Odin, wielding the Bifrost sword Hofund, with Queen Frigga at his side.
"Mother, Father, what are you doing here?" Thor asked them.
"Did you bring me a present as well, Thor's mum and dad?" Loki wondered.
"What we've 'brought' is dire news, Loki Laufeyson." Odin stated. "The party is over for you, Thor; Heimdall is dead."