Case 12: Truth Taking Precedence

Early in the afternoon, Loki, dressed in a sharp black suit and green buckled tie, with a horned golden crown upon his head, a Vote Loki badge on his chest, and alligator leather shoes, and his entourage enjoyed the parade in his honor as the trees and flowers of springtime bloomed around them. The people of America clapping as President Loki passed by, shaking his remaining hand with them and kissing babies. He cast fireworks into the sky for his audience, their applause growing louder as he did so.

Before the parade concluded, they were ambushed by a large group of reporters, along with a local news team.

"Today marks the first ever National Loki Day, coming to you live from Minneapolis, Minnesota!" The news lady reported. "And here's our newest president himself, the first Frost Giant Asgardian American president in the history of the United States! President Loki, do you have the time to answer a few questions?"

"Ask away, madam."

"I hate to start so negatively, but there are plenty of naysayers, both in the government offices and on the streets, saying you aren't a real American. They say your birth certificate is fake, because it says you were born over… a thousand years ago?"

"Ehehe. I know I don't look it, but this coming December will celebrate my eleven hundred eighty fifth birthday, and I'm planning an even more magnificent celebration than today's festivities!"

"But there were in fact no official certificates of birth back then, especially from America, since the United States was founded hundreds of years later! How then can your documentation be authentic?"

President Loki smiled. "Because I told my story to the Office of Vital Records, they had it verified, and voila, it is official! No doubt you'd like to hear my story too… very well! It all started when my birth mother, the Frost Giantess Farbauti, carried me in her womb to safety during the Jotun-Asgardian war that raged Tønsberg, Norway… while my biological father was pushed back by my adoptive father, she managed to voyage across the sea, all the way to the town now known as Kaktovik, Alaska, where I was indeed born. You don't believe me, ask my vice president."

"Is this true?" She asked the young red-haired woman in glasses by his side.

"Yup, it's pretty crazy, but he's telling the truth."

"Thank you, Vice President Willis." Loki politely replied.

"Hold on! Over a thousand years ago, Alaska wasn't a state yet, so were you technically born in the United States?"

Loki chuckled. "When I was born, there were no United States at all, but that doesn't change the fact that I was born here! Not only that, but I have lived in the states for over 15 years, and I am well past the minimum age requirement of 35! And I love America: I watch football, I pay taxes, go to the baseball games- I've even sung the national anthem at them, which I have memorized by heart! Would you like to hear?"

"Um, that's-"

"Oh~ say can you see, by the dawn's early light, what so proud~ly we hailed, at the twilight's last gleaming~!" President Loki proudly sang out.

"You have a great voice, but that's not necessary!"

"See? I'm as American as pizza pie!"

"You're- what? You mean apple pie? Pizza isn't American, Mr. President."

"I beg your pardon?"

"Pizza is Italian cuisine, not American."

Loki paused. "Well, now that I'm president, I'll have to remedy that!" He grabbed her microphone. "People of America, hear this: my newest decree is that pizza is now a national American dish!" The people around and those watching cheered. "And no trace of pineapple shall touch it ever again!" The cheering grew to a thunderous applause as Willis joined in on the clapping, and the reporter grew impatient with Loki.

She grabbed her microphone back. "And that leads me to my next question: you've made all these inconsequential decisions, like ordering the immediate capture of all the country's alligators and increasing the production of alligator shoes, handbags, and food products a hundredfold, and just now turning a well-known imported Italian food into an American symbol, but you haven't made any rulings yet in regards to real political matters, like the war between Superior and Michigan that's been raging since only 2 years after they split into 2 separate states, or the recent string of random women mysteriously disappearing across the globe!"

"Ah yes, that squabble over Mackinac Island, correct? It's simple, really: we just split the island evenly among the two warring states, I'll command the islanders to double the amount of fudge shops for everyone, and they have nothing to fight about. You're welcome."

"President Loki, this is no joking matter!"

"Who's joking, darling? As for the missing women, perhaps they've merely gone somewhere to have fun and escape their lovers? There are far more important matters for me to attend to; solving a missing persons case would be a task for detectives, not elected officials."

"Then why don't we hire some?" Vice President Willis suggested.

"Pardon?"

"Why don't we hire some professionals? You've been across the universe to different worlds, so it should be easy for you to find some master detectives, right?"

President Loki nodded. "I'm sure I could…"

"Will you, though?"

Loki fought a scowl at his second-in-command as she pressed him. "…I'll see who we can find."

In the main office of the Null-Time Zone, Mobius was bundled up in blankets on the couch as Detective Loki brought him some food. "Here Mobius, Healer and I made you some nice hot soup!" Loki offered his father figure, stirring his spoon in the bowl and holding it up full in front of Mobius's mouth. "Open up!"

"Loki, I don't need you to spoon feed me!" Mobius protested as he grabbed the loaded spoon from him. "I only have a cold, I'm perfectly capable of eating on my… a-a-a-ACHOO!" Loki swiftly ducked as Mobius sneezed the spoonful of food in his adopted son's direction and shivered.

"Bless you!"

"Ugh, sorry. Hey, next time someone invites us for a visit to the frozen winter wonderland Jotunheim, remind me to stay home!"

"Noted." Loki wiped the spoon with his handkerchief and dipped it back into the soup, offering Mobius another bite. "Now open up and try not to sneeze it out again?"

Mobius sighed and did as his son said, allowing Loki to feed him one spoonful at a time. "Mm. It's not bad, considering last time you cooked you burned down the kitchen."

"It isn't my fault your Midgardian-style cookware can't handle an open fire! I'm not used to cooking with electricity: I'm not Thor!"

"I didn't say you were, I'm just saying you have a-ACHOO… achoo, a mad love for burning things down for such a classy guy, especially for a Frost Giant. Aaachoo!"

"What can I say, I'm complex, and bless you thrice."

"Thank you."

Loki passed Mobius another box of tissues and stepped into the bedroom, where Sylvie was lying in bed on her back. "Hey Syl, are you feeling any better?"

"Well, I haven't puked my guts out in almost half an hour, so you might call it progress." Sylvie groaned. "I still feel sick as a dog though. I heard Mobius sneezing… you must feel like Florence Nightingale here!"

"He has what's known as the common cold, while you have morning sickness from your pregnancy, neither of which I have experience with treating! Mobius's illness is mortal, so he'd likely recover better under someone more familiar with their sicknesses, like Doctor Strange; perhaps my Mother or Atlantean Loki has some advice on comforting your nausea?"

"I think the back rub you gave me helped with some of the discomfort."

"Would you like me to sit you up for another one, or would you rather lie down and rest?"

"I'd like to skip all this pre-baby pukiness and aching and just get the birth part over with already!"

Loki chuckled. "I'm sure." He heard the phone ring from main area. "Excuse me for a moment."

Loki answered the phone. "Hello, this is the Time Detectives. Have you a case for us?"

"Yeah, a missing persons case that no one's been able to solve. Hey, your voice sounds familiar… do I know you from somewhere?"

Loki then remembered why he didn't usually answer the phone, paused for a moment, and answered. "I couldn't say: your voice doesn't sound familiar to me."

"Oh, okay. So the case is, a bunch of people have been kidnapped, but the only thing they have in common is they're all women."

"Is that so? Hm, you'll have to give us a minute, Miss…"

"Verity Willis."

"Miss Willis, both of my partners are sick, one with sneezing fits and the other with prenatal vomiting, so I may need to stay with them here until they recover!"

"Oh, well that's bad timing. Should I give you time to decide and a number to call back?"

"Yes, if you please." She gave Loki the information, and he hung up. "Mobius, there's a new case open; are you alright staying here with Sylvie, or would you rather I stay here?"

"Ehhh, you go ahead. I'm safe here just resting."

"Wait!" Sylvie called from the corridor, entering the room. "I'll go with you, just give me five minutes."

"You just told me you felt 'sick as a dog!'" Loki reminded Sylvie.

"And I also told you I'm making progress, didn't I?! I just need a bit of rest, and I'll be good to go."

"We can't leave Mobius alone! Who's going to bring him tissues and warm sustenance?"

"Loki, it's only the common cold, emphasis on common; I'm not on my deathbed!" Mobius protested. "If anything, my health is most at risk out in the… ACHOO, field!"

"Bless you."

"Thanks. I'll join you if I start to feel better soon, now go!"

"Sylvie, are you certain you should join me in your condition?"

"Why, you have a problem with that!? Afraid I'll slow you down!?" She snapped.

"No, I just want to be sure you'll be okay! Are you absolutely sure you feel better?"

"I told you I'm going with you, so will you quit with your overbearing, condescending, worrywart attitude and let me sleep for five minutes!?" Sylvie barked back at him.

"Well you could certainly use it!" Loki sassed her and then mumbled. "And I thought she was grouchy before her hormone levels escalated."

"You still thought riiight." Healer agreed with his host. "She is scaryyy."

"Now that I think of it, where's Jörmungandr?" Mobius asked.

"He's with the female Jörmungandr in the party brothers' universe." Loki recalled.

"Oh man, did he fall in love with his variant too?" Mobius shook his head. "Like owner, like pet snake!"

"Gnista and Logi are still in that universe too." Fiamma explained. "And I'm going to the case to meet the next Loki variant, obviously, so none of us can stay with Mobius."

Loki put a hand to his chin. "Do you suppose Doctor Strange makes house calls to addresses outside of time and space?" Loki turned to his dad, who had also just fallen asleep, so he proceeded to make a call. "Hello, is Doctor Stephen Strange there? Ah yes, good day, Doctor Strange; could you prescribe a medicine for the mortal common cold? Mobius is sick with sneezing, chills, and sleepiness from being exposed to the cold of Jotunheim."

"Oh for fox sake, Loki…" Strange muttered on the other end. "He needs liquids, rest, a good humidifier or nasal spray, and an over-the-counter antihistamine for his nose, and he'll be fit as a fiddle!"

"And where do I find this counter that this medicine is over?"

"At any pharmacy or major supermarket… try your local Roxxcart."

"Thank you, I'll do that!"

"You're welcome." Strange hung up, and then Loki snuck off to the store.

About 45 minutes of their time later, Sylvie woke up and found Loki giving Mobius his medicine while young Røskva watched, a humidifier cleared the air around them. He showed Røskva the bottle.

"Now make sure he takes this as long as he requires it, until he feels better, and call us immediately if there's an emergency." Loki instructed.

"No problem."

"Did you seriously get me a babysitter?" Mobius groaned.

"Of course not, I got you a fathersitter… a caretaker."

"It's the least I can do after you and Loki saved my parents, and after the therapy you gave me, Uncle Mobius!" Røskva insisted.

"SoOo, where and when are we headed?" Sylvie yawned.

"Washington DC, in the year 2150!" Loki announced. "We have a meeting with America's president!"