Author's Notes: Thanks again for continuing to read and being kind enough to comment. I really appreciate it.

This chapter either works or it doesn't.

Chapter 12

Otis sat alone at the table in Maeve's caravan and emerged from a reverie as he realised he could no longer hear the soft murmur of Maeve and Aimee's voices outside the window and understood that meant Aimee must be on her way home via dropping the empty pizza boxes off in the bins and Maeve would be coming back inside.

As he heard her skip up the stairs, he looked toward the door and watched her enter and spin around, skirt swaying slightly and his heart skipped several metaphorical beats.

"Aimee says she'll come and see you on Monday to get her cigarettes," she said as she closed the door. "I'll write down her brand so you don't forget."

"Was that the first time she won?" Otis asked.

"Uh-huh," Maeve said, nodding.

Otis grimaced. "Seems I'm bad luck for you."

"The two people who smoke both get cigarettes this time. You're mega-brilliant-lucky."

"Then you two should have been nicer to me," Otis said, mock-offended.

Maeve pouted in mock-commiseration as she sat at the table opposite him. "Awww, poor muppet. I'm such a mean, mean girl, aren't I?"

"Yes, you are," he pouted in mock-agreement.

"Now that Aimee's gone, do you want to play a game of Strip Queen?" she asked, eyes glittering.

Otis' pursed his lips and looked at her defiantly. "What would you do if I said 'yes'?"

"I'd say, 'Start dealing'," Maeve replied.

"Of course you would."

She grinned at him, eyes glittering. "You did say you wanted me pushing you a little."

"I know," he said. "Haven't changed my mind."

Maeve smiled tenderly at him. "Are you sure I'm not pushing too much, Otis?" she asked. "I seem to be spending half my time freaking you out."

Otis gazed at her gathering his thoughts. "It's normalising things for me, Maeve. Like I said, your whole attitude is the same as when you've teased me in the past but you're now teasing me about… boyfriend girlfriend stuff. I think I need that."

Maeve leant back and returned his gaze.

"I'm not normal when it comes to sex, Maeve," Otis said quietly.

"I wish you wouldn't keep saying that, Otis," Maeve said quietly. "You're inexperienced. That's all."

"It's more than that, Maeve." Otis kept his eyes on her and Maeve could see he was wondering how much he felt comfortable talking about.

"You don't have to tell me anything you don't want to, Otis," Maeve said quietly. "But remember those four walls of trust you spoke about? I liked the way you phrased that. That's the way you've been for me. When I've been hanging out with you these last few months I've felt safe inside those four walls."

"But you weren't," Otis said, grimly. "I had been lying to you. I betrayed you."

Maeve shook her head. "You screwed up. You didn't do it deliberately."

"I still hurt you."

"It hurt because I thought you'd done it deliberately. That you and Jackson got together and were all, 'Hey, Otis, help me get together with Maeve and here's some money for your time', 'Sure thing, Jackson, let me just go off and find out what she likes and report back to you and we can plan our line of attack', 'Good show, Otis, old buddy! She'll never know what hit her.'"

Otis smiled softly at her impersonations of himself and Jackson and murmured, "I still let you down."

"If you hadn't shown up yesterday morning, you would have let me down. But you did. You explained. You tried to save things between us. I thought my safe place had been ripped away from me and I had nothing left but you've shown me that wasn't true. It's behind me, Otis. It's like it never happened."

Otis nodded and Maeve could see him trying to accept her words.

"I just hope I can be a safe place for you," she continued. "That you can come to feel that I'm those four walls of trust for you."

Otis smiled gently at her. "I do trust you, Maeve, but…"

Maeve watched the emotions swirling across his face as his internal debate continued then she spoke in a brighter tone. "You've told me you gave a chinchilla a blowjob. Nothing you say now could be worse than that."

Otis threw back his head, protesting with a laugh, "I said I told Olivia I'd seen chinchilla's giving themselves blowjobs."

Maeve shrugged. "I must have misunderstood."

Otis looked at her and Maeve could see him resolve to try to speak. "I've been thinking since last night…" he began and then drifted back into his thoughts.

Maeve studied him then said, "I think I've got something stuck in my teeth. I'm just going to go brush them then we can sit on the couch. Maybe you'll feel more comfortable talking over there."

"Do you have a spare toothbrush?" Otis asked.

"You can use mine," she said, shaking her head as she stood up.

Otis flinched.

Maeve rolled her eyes. "We've been sharing tongues since yesterday morning. If you were going to give me your cooties, I've already got them."

Otis pondered for a moment then nodded and rose from the table to stand beside Maeve.

"So now do I get the grand tour?" he asked.

"Oh, yeah. The grand tour," Maeve said and pointed to each area of the room in turn. "Loungeroom, dining room, kitchen."

Otis chuckled softly.

Maeve took his hand and led him through the doorway into the other half of the caravan. "Bathroom to the right. Lav's in the bathroom. And this…" she released Otis' hand and turned to face him, looking directly into his eyes. "This is the bedroom," she said softly.

Otis looked into her bedroom, eyes roaming the room, noticing a bra and a pair of her pants sitting on top of a small pile of clothes on the bed. Their colours matched and he realised that of course she would be wearing black pants under her skirt.

Maeve noticed his gaze and pressed her lips together in a smirk, glad she hadn't tried to pretend she was a tidier person than she actually was.

Otis realised he had been staring and tried to cover for himself by roaming his eyes over the pieces of paper stuck to the wall but when he turned back to see Maeve smiling softly at him he knew he had failed.

"I have girl parts, Otis," Maeve said, gently amused. "I wear girl things. Do you want to see?" She mimed hiking her skirt.

"Sorry," said Otis, sheepishly.

"Do you think I actually mind?" she asked softly. "I like you …" She searched for the way to say it and smiled to herself as she realised she could opt for a faux Otis. "… letting me see that you do desire me sexually."

Otis swallowed and spoke very softly, "I do, Maeve."

"If you want," she began softly, "we can forget the couch and lie on the bed. We can just talk or…" She pushed a little. "… if you want to do anything else we could do that, too."

Maeve watched the conflict shimmer behind his eyes and she could see that he wanted to push beyond their brief step onto second base but he wasn't quite ready.

"Maybe later?" he said.

"Okay," she said gently, nodding. "No pressure."

Maeve and Otis sat in the corner of her couch facing each other as best they could as music played softly in the background. Maeve leant over and kissed him and when it was over she moved back and gazed at him tenderly, sensing there was a lot he wanted to say to her but uncertainty about how to start.

"You know how I said you needed an Otis," Maeve asked softly.

Otis nodded.

"I'm not as cluey as you when it comes to some things," she continued, "but maybe you can think of me as a sounding board and you can be an Otis for yourself."

Otis wasn't quite sure what she meant.

"Let's pretend I'm you," Maeve said. "I'm the sex clinic guru. Now you don't have to say things out loud but if you came to me for sex advice, what would you say to me?"

Otis smiled softly at her and after a moment forced himself to speak. "I'd say I told my girlfriend I needed to take things slowly but now I think maybe I was wrong."

"In what way?" Maeve asked.

Otis took a deep breath and swallowed and Maeve could see he still wasn't quite ready.

"This music sounds a little calm for you," he said, opting for safe ground for the moment.

"Like you told Jackson, I like a lot of music," Maeve said.

Otis listened to the lyrics for a few moments then turned to Maeve. "Are you trying to send me a message?"

"Just trying to set a mood."

"You want to dance again?" he asked.

"We can if you want but we can't turn the music up tonight. Jonathan doesn't like loud noise and I'm trying to stay under Cynthia's radar."

"Jonathan?"

"Cynthia's cat. In the red and white hat."

Otis nodded, remembering.

"I really loved dancing with you last night, muppet," Maeve murmured.

"I never knew it could be so much fun. I mean, I enjoyed dancing with Ola but you… You were glorious, Maeve."

Maeve sighed. "I wish I hadn't been with Jackson. I wish we'd gone to the dance together."

Otis smirked at her. "I thought you agreed they were imported American traditions giving an unrealistic portrayal of romantic love."

She smiled softly. "I think I wanted the unrealistic portrayal of romantic love. For one night. With you."

Otis stared at her with fond amusement. "I am making you soft, aren't I?"

"You're allowing me to relax, Otis."

He gazed softly at her then shook his head. "You were with Jackson. I could never have asked you."

Maeve roamed her eyes over her face. "If I wasn't with Jackson, would you have asked me?"

Otis pondered for a few moments. "I don't know. Maybe. So we could mock people."

"Is that the only reason?"

"It's the reason I would have told you."

"Because you couldn't tell me you loved me," Maeve said sadly.

Otis nodded sadly.

Maeve was silent for a few moments and then said wistfully. "I wish you'd kissed me on the bridge. I would never have gone back to Jackson if you had kissed me."

Otis stared at Maeve for a long time and Maeve could see waves of regret wash through him.

He turned away for a moment and gathered his thoughts then turned back to her. "That's the reason I tried to lose my virginity with Lily," he confessed. "I thought if I could get it out of the way then if I ever had another chance with you then I wouldn't freak out."

Maeve's eyes wandered across his. "How far did you get with Lily?" she eventually asked.

Otis held her gaze for a moment then swallowed and said, "Lily put my hands on her breasts and told me to squeeze her nipples and then she asked if she could touch my penis."

"Did you let her?"

Otis nodded. "That's when I had the panic attack and I told her to get my mum and the next thing I know I'm waking up with the three of them staring down at me."

"That must have been really embarrassing," Maeve murmured sympathetically.

Otis looked away as the memory washed through him. "That's why I'm glad Lily didn't tell anyone. That's why I gave her a freebie."

After a moment, Maeve said, "I would have preferred it if she was your bit on the side. That way you would have been having fun."

Otis smiled softly. "That's what I've been thinking about since last night. Lily. The bridge. You tried to kiss me on the bridge and I freaked out. Lily tried to kiss me and I'm all—" Otis mimed dodging kisses from Lily.

Maeve smiled sadly.

Otis turned to look into her eyes. "But when you kissed me yesterday morning, I didn't freak out."

"You said you kind of had a panic attack," Maeve said softly.

Otis flinched slightly and looked away and said quietly, "Not about the kiss."

Maeve knew he was still not quite ready to admit to it, whether he suspected she had felt it pressing against herself or not.

"When Lily put my hands on her breasts, I was all—" He held his hands out as if awkwardly squeezing breasts.

Maeve smiled gently.

"But when you asked me to touch your breast last night… it felt good, Maeve," he said, turning back to her.

Maeve was silent, simply watching him, hoping the gentle smile on her lips was letting him know everything he was saying was okay with her.

"Maybe you were right, Maeve. It is different with someone I'm in love with and want to be with. I know I'm not always comfortable kissing you but a lot of the time I have been and I haven't freaked out. Touching Lily's breast was—" he mimed a shudder. "Touching your breast the first time horrified me because I hadn't asked your consent. But when you asked me to touch it the second time…"

"You want to touch them again?" Maeve asked quietly.

Otis swallowed and said quietly, "If you'd let me."

Maeve gave him a loving smile and nodded.

"Maybe we don't have to take it as slowly as I thought," he continued. "Maybe I just need to do the things boyfriends and girlfriends do and then it will become easier."

"Do you want to do those things? Not because I want you to do them, not just because you want to lose your virginity but because you want to do them? With me?"

"Only if you want to, Maeve. We can just take it slowly still if you want."

Maeve waited a moment and then said softly, "Tell me what gave you a panic attack first."

Otis looked at her and she could see he was now certain she knew but Maeve could see he still couldn't bring himself to say it.

"I know what you're going to say," Maeve said gently. "But I think you need to actually say it."

Otis nodded and Maeve watched as he steeled himself to force the words out. "After you kissed me I had an erection," he said and it seemed as if a huge metaphorical weight dropped from his shoulders.

Maeve smiled fondly, nodding. "I'm not numb down there. I did feel it."

"Eric said you probably did," he murmured. "I think it's why I haven't always been comfortable when we've been kissing. I've been trying to stop myself getting another erection. It's only when I haven't been thinking about whether I got an erection that I've felt comfortable."

Maeve leaned over and kissed him tenderly. "There's nothing wrong with getting a boner, muppet. I had my own reaction after our kiss."

"Yeah, but it's not so obvious with you."

"World's unfair, muppet," she said with a gentle smile. "Do you think I actually minded? I told you I was in love with you and Bingo! You were ready for action."

Otis smiled softly. "I didn't think of it that way."

"I'm just sorry I told you at school. I knew giving you a hard-on was a possibility but I was just so wanting to tell you I loved you too that I wasn't thinking about it at that moment."

Otis sighed. "Maybe it was a good thing." He hesitated then Maeve could see him gather his determination to continue. "Forced me to do something I'd been unable to do."

Maeve missed the full meaning as she smiled at his admission. "It must have been embarrassing to alphabetize your music collection at school."

Otis frowned in puzzlement then realised. "That wasn't a euphemism, Maeve."

Maeve laughed in surprise. "You mean you really did alphabetize your music collection? I thought you had a wank."

Otis looked directly at her. "I did," he said, holding her gaze despite his discomfort. "I tried the other first but it didn't work."

"Has it ever worked?" she asked quietly.

"Once."

"When?"

Otis took a moment before speaking. "After we were mucking around in the pool."

Maeve smiled knowingly. "Of course."

"You knew about that one?" he asked, surprised.

Maeve bit her lip. "I realised yesterday morning. That's why I giggled. Not at you getting a boner," she clarified quickly. "At me, for being too stupid to realise at the time."

Otis smiled ruefully. "You touched my eyebrows and Bingo."

"Why didn't you just flog your bishop?"

Otis dropped his gaze. "I have a… problematic relationship with masturbation."

Maeve studied his embarrassment fondly. "Don't be embarrassed, muppet. There's nothing wrong with wanking. I polished my pearl about you last night when I got home. That's why I took so long to text you. I was so horny I just couldn't wait."

"Eric said I probably gave you 'blue ovaries'," Otis said wryly.

Maeve thought for a moment. "'Blue clit'."

"He said that too."

Maeve snuggled against him. "I know you're really uncomfortable talking like this, Otis, but maybe it's what you need to do. I'm not embarrassed by it or anything. I think it's good."

Otis took a deep breath. "I know erections are normal. I know masturbation is normal. That's what my head says. That's what I'd tell our clients. But I've never felt it here." His hand touched his heart. "I've…" He looked as far away from Maeve as possible and swallowed.

"Is there something else you want to say, Otis?" Maeve asked quietly.

Otis took a deep breath and forced himself to speak. "Yesterday was the first time I masturbated."

Maeve was surprised. "Really? You'd never wrestled your dragon even though you were into me for months?"

"I tried… but I never liked how it felt. It always felt like I was objectifying you."

"I've been objectifying you ever since the night on the bridge," said Maeve.

Otis looked directly at her and Maeve could see how much that thought pleased him and she smiled.

"Is it cheating that I buttered my muffin and thought of you while I was still with Jackson?" she asked.

Otis thought for a moment. "I hate ethical dilemmas."

"Me, too," she said, then was silent for long moments. "I never started out thinking about you. I was just wanking. But you would always appear. What would happen if we kissed on the bridge. If we kissed in the pool."

"In the pool?" Otis asked, surprised.

"If you hadn't freaked out about getting a boner I think I would have kissed you that day in the pool."

Otis stared at her in soft amazement.

Maeve smiled gently. "I was falling for you back then. I just didn't realise it until I really wanted to kiss you on the bridge."

Otis was silent for a moment longer then asked, "What would you have done if you had realised I had an erection in the pool?"

Maeve smiled. "I hope I would have offered to help you to take care of it. That's one of things I thought about when I was wanking. That I kissed you and you got a boner and we fucked for the first time right there in the pool."

"I think I would have panicked and drowned if you had noticed," Otis finally said.

"I would have saved you," she said softly then held his gaze for long moments before continuing. "So... Rewriting Lily… We've kissed. You've touched my boob."

She could see Otis knew where she was heading.

"Do you want me to touch your penis?" she asked quietly.

Otis nodded. "But only if you want to," he said quietly. "I don't want to pressure you, Maeve. Make you feel obliged."

"I want to," she whispered.

Otis stared at her for a long moment then swallowed. "May I touch your vagina too?" he asked quietly.

Maeve stood and held out her hand. Otis took it carefully and stood and stared into her eyes, smiling softly in anticipation.

"Let's go into the bedroom," began Maeve softly, "and we can work our way up to both those things." She bit her lip. "And more if you want."

Author's Notes: I hadn't planned on ending this chapter at this point either but I think it will work out better this way.

Hope this has worked and I haven't gone splat.