Chapter 4
"Ok, so I checked on the type of wood the client wants for their porch and it's going to take about a month to come in. Kind of a long wait, do you think we should suggest a different material? I mean, we have a bunch of cedar back in the shed. It's a bit odd that they're so set on Peruvian Walnut anyways. Or do you think they'll be mad at us for daring to suggest a 'common' wood?"
Joel nodded absently, "Yeah, let's do it."
"Do… which one?" Tommy frowned, "Did you hear me?"
"Um." Joel scratched his chin, "No?"
Tommy sighed, "Joel, what's with you man? You haven't been listening to me all week. I thought the client was gonna smack you up the head if you asked him to repeat himself one more time."
Joel had taken Ellie to McDonald's five days ago, and he hadn't heard from her since. He should have felt relieved, but instead he felt worried. The weather had quickly gone downhill since then, turning from a mild fall to the beginning of a cold winter. Today was the first day that the night's temperature was supposed to dip below freezing. What if Ellie got locked outside in that weather?
"How about we take the rest of the day off?" Tommy suggested, "It's a Saturday, after all. Hey, why don't you come and have dinner with me and the family?"
"Sure." Joel said before he comprehended what he was agreeing to. He kept remembering Ellie's expression when she saw the lights in her house were on. The way her eyes turned from playful to cold, like putting a mask on.
When Tommy graduated high school, he enlisted in the military. At first, his calls home mainly consisted of stories about his new buddies and the trouble they got up to. Then he went to Iraq. When he came back weeks later, he was different. He didn't have any stories to share; he didn't want to talk at all. After a couple weeks at home, he was called back to duty. Back to Iraq. Joel drove him to the train station on the day he had to report to base. Tommy hugged him goodbye with tears in his eyes, but when he turned away, Joel saw his face change. His tears were gone. All that remained was hard determination.
Ellie had the same expression: the look of a man going into war.
"Great!" Tommy was grinning from ear to ear, "Bria will love to see you. Maria too. Let's go!" He hustled Joel to the truck, not giving him a chance to change his mind.
Tommy whistled as he drove. Joel watched him and felt a wave of guilt. What kind of brother was Joel? How had he neglected Tommy so badly that agreeing to visit with his wife and kid made him thishappy? Ellie's dark expression popped into his mind. He hoped her uncles visited her.
"Here we are." Tommy rumbled as he pulled into his driveway and cut the engine. He turned to grin at Joel, "Remember this place?"
"Of course I do." Joel retorted a touch defensively. As he pushed open the car door, he took in the neat, one-story yellow house, the chain link fence, the little garden wedged next to the wraparound porch. Did they have that garden last time Joel was here? He wasn't sure.
"You're home early!" Maria opened the door with a smile that turned to wide-eyed shock, "Well, well." She crossed her arms. "Look who finally decided to show up."
Joel scratched his head sheepishly, "Maria, I-"
She surprised him by stepping forward and giving him a tight hug, "It's good to see you." Her smile was warm. Joel had forgotten how kind she was. Ridiculously, he felt himself getting choked up.
"Dad!" A girl with wild, curly hair ran into Tommy's arms. Joel stiffened. She looked so much like her.
Tommy hugged her, "Look what I brought you." He gestured toward Joel. The girl gasped.
"What the heck?" She crossed her arms, and for a moment, she looked like a mini-Maria, "You had a beard last time I saw you."
"I shaved it." Joel shrugged as he avoided her eyes, "It didn't look good."
"Yeah, it didn't." The girl grinned and suddenly hurtled toward Joel. He staggered back with a grunt when she collided with him, "I missed you, Uncle Joel."
Tears welled up in Joel's eyes. He found himself hugging her tightly, "I missed you too, Bria." He said, and he realized he meant it. "Are you still into…" He wracked his brain, "space?" Joel remembered Ellie's grin as she unwrapped her toy rocket.
Bria jumped back and rolled her eyes, "Obviously." She grabbed his hand, "C'mon, Mom made hot dogs!" She led him to their backyard where Maria served food fresh from the grill, and they sat together at the picnic table.
"It's chilly out here." Tommy shivered as he zipped up his jacket, "Reckon this'll be our last outdoor meal of the season."
Bria's teeth were chattering, "Or maybe last time was our last outdoor meal?" She suggested, "I'm dying over here."
"I'll get you a jacket." Tommy promised as he stood to go inside.
"Bria, how old are you now?" Joel asked.
Bria grinned, "I'm turning fourteen in a month."
"Nice, nice." Just like Ellie. Joelfrowned at the thought. Why was he constantly thinking about this random kid? She had parents. She didn't need him, "So that's… what, end of middle school, right?" Joel turned his thoughts back to his niece, "You looking forward to high school?"
"Eh." Bria shrugged. "I heard the boys get taller than the girls in high school, and I like being taller than the boys." She snickered, "One guy was a total jerk to me, so I nailed him with a basketball in gym class."
Joel smiled, "Tell me more."
As Bria, with some help from Maria and Tommy, told him story after story about the last couple years, Joel found himself laughing along with them as if he'd never left. He sorely regretted his decision two years ago to stop coming over. He'd thought it was the right choice at the time. Bria was starting to look and act so much like her. Joel burned at the memory of all the invitations he'd rejected. Nothing warranted abandoning his niece.
"Alright, enough about us." Maris chuckled, "How about you? How's your life been in the last couple years?"
"Ok." Joel shrugged, "Lots of work. Tommy and I go out to dinner sometimes."
Maria raised her eyebrows, "I hope you've had a life outside of my husband."
Bria slurped her lemonade loudly, "Do you have a girl?" She giggled.
For a strange moment, Joel thought she was asking about Ellie. Then he understood. "Nah." He shook his head, "No dating for me."
"Well, that's just not true, Joel." Tommy had a gleam in his eyes that Joel instantly disliked, "What about Sally?"
"That was for two months around five years ago." Joel scowled, "I barely remember her."
"What about Amanda?" Maria nudged Bria, "Do you remember her? The blonde woman?"
Bria frowned, then her eyes went wide, "Was she the one who blew out my candles at my seventh birthday party?"
"Ugh." Joel groaned, "That was my first and last time using Tinder. Sorry kiddo."
"Don't be." Bria grinned, "That story got me super popular for like a week in seventh grade."
"Wait." Tommy raised his hand with a grin as if he were about to announce he had a winning lottery ticket, "What about the Crackhead?"
"You had to bring her up?" Joel complained.
"Don't say things like that in front of our daughter." Maria admonished.
"Oh yeah, a crackhead is someone who takes cocaine, right?" Bria asked. The three adults stared at her. "What?" Bria crossed her arms defensively, "My teacher said that in health class."
"Yeah, she took cocaine. And alcohol. And other things." Joel stared at the table, "Truth is, she's the one who made me realize that I was at my low point. I suppose I'm grateful to her for that."
There was a pause. Then Tommy clapped his shoulder, "Congratulations, man. You've been sober fifteen years. That's impressive, no matter what prompted it."
"Thanks." Joel nodded. Then he smiled. "I see we're all serious now." Tommy and Maria laughed.
"But there must have been at least one other girl." Bria pressed, "I mean, who was Sarah's mom?"
Dead silence. Joel was frozen where he sat. Then Tommy inhaled sharply. "Bria." He snapped, "You don't ask about those kinds of things."
"No, it's ok." Joel spoke with great effort. He turned to look at his niece. "Her… Sarah's mother wasn't in my life for long." Twenty years and speaking his daughter's name still felt like he was gargling shards of glass. "We dated in high school and married after graduation. Had a kid two years later. One year after that, she died." Joel spoke quietly, "She was a lovely woman. I have nothing but fond memories of her."
Bria nodded, but she didn't meet Joel's eyes. "Sorry." She said softly. Joel couldn't bring himself to respond. He wasn't sure if he could say another word without falling apart. Then Tommy jumped in with a story about one of their more difficult clients and the conversation continued. Joel found his smile more difficult to maintain than before.
After another half hour, Joel said his goodbyes and Tommy drove him home. The sun was setting, casting golden rays across the brown, wintery landscape. Joel hadn't realized he'd stayed so long.
"Sorry about Bria." Tommy broke the silence, "She shouldn't have said what she said."
Joel shrugged, "Kids'll say what they want. I know that as well as you do."
"Still." Tommy's voice sounded anxious as he glanced at Joel, "You'll come back, right?"
"Of course." Joel felt like Tommy had kicked him in the stomach. Did Tommy really think Joel would abandon his niece and sister-in-law after a child's thoughtless words? Had Joel sunk so low?
The rest of the drive was shrouded in a tense silence. Joel felt relieved when he saw the familiar blue of his house, "Thanks for the ride." He said as he reached for the door handle.
"Joel!" Both men jumped at the sudden shout. Joel leaned forward to see a familiar red-headed kid running across his lawn toward the truck.
Tommy's brow furrowed, "Who's that?"
"The kid next door." Joel spoke quickly as he shoved the door open. His heart was pounding. Was Ellie in trouble? Was someone chasing her?
Ellie's run slowed to a walk as she saw Tommy sitting in the truck. "Whoa, you have friends?" She asked, her eyebrows raised in disbelief.
"He's my brother." Joel replied. He shut the car door so Tommy couldn't hear, then gritted his teeth as Tommy casually rolled down the window.
"Hey." He waved to Ellie.
Ellie waved back, "Got it, you don't have friends." She chuckled to herself.
Joel scowled, "Why are you on my lawn this time?"
Ellie's expression turned pleading, "Can you take me to McDonald's again? My mom made this horrible veggie casserole shit, and she expects me to eat it for, like, a whole week."
Joel took a deep breath as his heartbeat slowed, "You gotta eat your greens, kid. That's how you get big and strong."
"No, if you want me to be big, you take me to McDonald's." Ellie argued.
"Not that kind of big." Joel rolled his eyes. "Go eat your dinner."
Ellie groaned, "Fine." She turned and started back to her house.
"Hey, Ellie!" Joel called after her. She turned to look at him, "You got your keys, right? It's supposed to be below freezing tonight. I don't want to see you running around outside after dark."
"What, you give a shit or something?" Ellie called back. Then she sighed. "Yes, I have my keys."
"Good." Joel gave her a thumbs up and she flipped him off before disappearing into her house.
Tommy was watching him with a confused expression, "You know this kid or something?"
"Nice of you to eavesdrop." Joel said pointedly.
"Why did you take her to McDonald's?" Tommy frowned.
"I-" Joel paused, "Her parents asked me to watch her once, like a week ago. Very last minute, apparently everyone had canceled, and they were desperate." He shrugged, "She wanted McDonald's."
"Huh." Tommy nodded, but confusion lingered in his eyes, "Good night, Joel."
"Good night, Tommy." Joel waved and felt a spasm of guilt as he watched his baby brother drive away.