"I heard you." Ellie insisted.
"I don't know what you're talking about." Joel scowled, his eyes on the road.
"You screamed too. Just admit it." Ellie grinned. "It's fun to scream."
"I wouldn't know." Joel replied. A half smile cracked his façade and they both laughed.
"Knew it." Ellie punched the air in triumph.
"I can't always let you be the loudest one." His smile faded when he turned onto their street. "Ellie, your house lights are on."
Ellie's gaze turned hard. "Guess I better go back."
She went to open the door, but Joel grabbed her arm. "Are you safe there?" He asked.
"I can handle myself." Ellie muttered as she tried to pull away from him.
"That's not what I asked." Joel tightened his grip. "Look, if you're not safe, there's other options. I can call CPS."
Ellie snorted. "Great, they can throw me in with some shit foster parents who are 800 times worse than mine."
"That doesn't have to be true." Joel insisted. "I can work with them-"
"You're not my guardian. You have no power. I know how the law works. Do you think I haven't looked into this?" Ellie's green eyes flashed with accusation. "I get that you don't want another kid around after your daughter, but you are my only other option. I either live with you or I live with them." Joel started to protest, but Ellie cut him off. "Tell me an option that doesn't end with me in foster care. You fucking do that, and I'll listen."
Ellie's shoulders were curved defensively, and her eyes were locked on his. Joel opened his mouth, then closed it. "I'm trying to help you." He finally said.
"You know how." Ellie shot back. She closed her eyes, and Joel saw disappointment in her furrowed brow. When she opened her eyes again, weariness had washed away her anger. "Thanks for the ride." She said as she jumped out of the car. Joel watched as she trudged to her door and disappeared inside.
Later that night, as he lay in bed, Joel burned with frustration. Why did the kid insist on asking for what he couldn't give her? She knew why he couldn't take her in, even said she understood, yet a few hours later, she brought it up again. "She's not my daughter." He muttered. "I don't owe her anything. Hell, most would say I've already been more than kind."
He thought of Ellie's last angry glance before she left the car, the way her green eyes narrowed and turned cold. She was hard where Sarah was soft, harsh where Sarah was sweet. She had to be, growing up with parents like hers. That, Joel knew, was why Ellie kept asking for him to take her in. She was a survivor. If Joel's guilt and anguish was the price of her safety, she would pay it in a heartbeat. Joel understood. If Sarah was ever in a situation like Ellie's, Joel would have told her to do anything to survive, no matter who she hurt in the process.
Joel suddenly had the strangest feeling that if Sarah had grown up in an abusive environment, she might have ended up a lot like Ellie.
That thought had him climbing out of his bed and out to his small front porch. He leaned against the railing and stared up at the stars. "What do I do?" Joel whispered. He hadn't believed in anything since his daughter died, but now he wished someone, anyone, would speak to him and take this choice out of his hands. "If it was Sarah, I'd want someone to take her in. But how could I?" He imagined moving Ellie into Sarah's room, all Sarah's things replaced with another teenage girl who was both so similar and so different. Sarah fading into Ellie's shadow until she was gone.
Tears dripped down Joel's face as he cried for his daughter for the first time in years. He remembered holding her the day she was born, her first steps, her beautiful brown eyes, her mischievous grin. His baby girl. Joel pressed his face into his hands. "How can she be gone?" He sobbed.
When his tears finally slowed, Joel turned toward Ellie's house. A single small window in the side of the house showed him a glimpse of a fridge pressed against a badly painted wall. "What do you think, Sarah?" He murmured. The chilly night sky gave him no answers.
Joel was about to turn to go inside when a dark shape flashed across the window. He frowned as he heard the faint sound of something breaking. Had someone thrown something inside Ellie's house?
Joel stayed low along the fence as he hurried out of his yard and into Ellie's yard. He reached the side of the house and straightened just enough to peek through the window.
Ellie and her stepfather in a screaming match.
"Tell me where you were!" Chuck yelled. His eyes were bloodshot, and he was swaying in place. Joel's fists clenched as he watched his worst fears confirmed; Ellie's stepfather was an alcoholic.
"What do you care?" Ellie retorted. "You weren't even here this weekend."
"Don't you talk to me like that!" Chuck staggered another step toward her, and Joel found himself praying for Ellie to hold her tongue for once. Ellie's eyes narrowed.
"I'll talk to you how I want, you fucking drunkard!" She yelled. "I listen to my mom, not to you. Mom!" Ellie gazed expectantly toward a hallway leading away from Joel.
"She's not here." Chuck drawled. "She's still in Dallas. I came back early to teach her little brat a lesson."
Ellie's fists clenched. "Don't you fucking dare." She hissed. "She'll hate you if you hit me. You know that."
Chuck's smile sent a shiver down Joel's spine. "I like your mom well enough." He stepped toward Ellie, forcing her to back up. "But she's old. I want to taste the younger version."
Ellie's face went slack, and her eyes widened with shock and fear. In that moment, Chuck lunged.
"No!" Joel screamed. "Ellie!" He pounded on the window, but Ellie's shrieking drowned him out. As Chuck dragged her to the floor, he ran for the front door. Then he froze. He wasn't confident he could beat a large man like Chuck in a fist fight. He needed his gun.
Joel sprinted around the fence at a speed he hadn't reached in decades and almost slammed into his car. He yanked at the locked door, then punched through the window. He was vaguely aware of the blood dripping down his arm as he unlocked the car, yanked the door open and unlatched the glove compartment.
The gun was gone.
As Joel stared at the empty compartment, two shots rang out into the night. "Ellie!" Joel's blood ran cold as he sprinted back to Ellie's house. He couldn't breathe. Ellie couldn't be- She couldn't-
Joel burst through the cheaply-made, wooden door as if it wasn't there, and almost tripped over something. As he grabbed the doorframe to steady himself, he looked down to see Chuck staring vacantly up at him, two bullet wounds in his chest. He gaped at the dead man for a moment. Then he looked up to see Ellie pointing the gun at Joel. His gun.
Joel slowly raised his hands. "It's ok, Ellie. It's Joel. I'm not going to hurt you."
Ellie's green eyes were wild and unseeing. Her hands were trembling. Her shirt was torn. She held the gun as if it were the only thing stopping her from sliding into insanity.
"Ellie." Joel whispered as he crouched in front of her. "It's me."
Ellie's eyes finally focused on Joel. The gun slipped from her hands. "Joel." The word was a sob. She threw herself into his arms and he hugged her tightly, his own tears slipping down his face. He'd almost lost her.
"It's ok, baby girl." He whispered. "I got you."