Happy Wednesday, my lovelies.

I'm so grateful for the lovely comments on this fic so far. You guys all rock. I appreciate you.

Thanks to Christine and Sofi for their help on this story.

The song for this chapter is Strange Room.

I hope you enjoy!

For a moment I was dreaming

We were just beginning

Thought, "Finally I've come home

Finally I've come home"

Kurt expected to arrive home to an empty apartment, and there was something terribly sad about the fact that it was what had become the norm for him. He no longer expected to open the front door and walk right into his husband's waiting arms, to feel like that was exactly what home was, a pair of arms and a kiss to his temple and the smell of food wafting from the kitchen, welcoming and perfect and warm. He was the one doing the waiting, every day, every night, while Ian was out there, working, too focused on the things he loved to do to remember the person he loved to be with.

Kurt didn't dare wonder if he still loved being with him, or if they had simply molded their lives to perfection to coexist together and nothing else. And then he shook his head and told himself not to go there, that he was exaggerating, that things weren't as bad as they seemed…

But the apartment wasn't empty when Kurt arrived after his meeting with Blaine, and what was even more shocking, there actually was an inviting scent coming from the kitchen.

"Ian?" He called from the front door, as he removed his coat and dropped his keys in the bowl on the side table. He carefully placed his bag with his laptop on the floor to take care of later. "I'm home."

Ian came out of the kitchen, barefoot, hair still a little wet from the shower, wearing an old pair of jeans and his favorite shirt that he owned since college and that Kurt threatened to throw in the garbage at least once a month, because it had more holes than actual fabric. He had the kitchen cloth thrown over his shoulder carelessly, and he looked so relaxed and attractive that Kurt couldn't stop the smile that spread on his lips, despite the fact that he had been a little mad at him lately.

"Hey," Ian said. "I was wondering where you were. Dinner's almost ready. I made some of my mom's meatloaf."

Kurt let him put his hands on his waist and bring him closer, until Ian could press a kiss to the corner of his lips. "You haven't been home to cook in a while," he commented, rather nonchalantly, but he couldn't quite keep all the bite out of his words.

"I know," Ian nodded. "I'm sorry. I know I've been… absent, lately. It's no secret that I love my job, and there's so much to do… but that shouldn't be an excuse."

"Is that your way of saying you're going to try a little harder to be an actual husband aside from my editor?" Kurt asked, eyebrow arched at him.

"Ouch," Ian said, taking a hand to his own chest. "I guess I deserve that. But yeah. I suppose that's what I'm saying."

"It's not fun being married to someone who's never here," Kurt said, because he was done sugarcoating things for him. He had all the right in the world to be mad about this. "All I ask is that you take some time off so we can actually be together. And having breakfast in the morning while you're already answering work emails doesn't count."

"Very well," Ian said. "Consider tonight my peace offering. I'll do my best to be here, to spend more time with you."

"Can we take a little trip?" Kurt looked at him pleadingly. "A quick vacation? Or at least a weekend in Ohio to see my parents?"

"Sure," Ian replied, but it looked like he was agreeing just because he didn't think it was a good idea to say no to Kurt now. "Though you know that if you want to see your parents, you don't need to wait for me to have time off. You can just go. You can write anywhere, so even if you're on a deadline, you could go to Ohio and see them."

"I know that," Kurt said. "But I think we should go together."

"I'll see what I can do," Ian said, as he let go of him, and Kurt didn't want to say that it sounded like an empty promise, but it kind of did. "Alright, go wash your hands before the food gets ruined."

Dinner felt unusual at first. They sat and they ate and Ian asked him about whether he had heard from his dad today, and then he wanted to know about Kurt's day. Kurt found himself talking about it almost automatically, but when he reached the bit of his day in which he had coffee with Blaine, he realized he didn't feel like sharing that. He wasn't sure why – he just didn't want to talk about it with Ian. It had felt like a small treat in an otherwise normal, almost boring and disappointing day, so he decided to keep it to himself. Instead he told him about being blocked with work, which Ian definitely found more interesting than any coffee dates Kurt might have had.

Not that it had been a date. They had just… talked. And Kurt had gotten his pen back. That was all. It didn't qualify as a date.

Inexplicably flustered, Kurt turned the question on Ian: "So how was your day?"

And that was enough to get his husband started. He spent the rest of their dinner talking about all the prep work they had been doing for the Frankfurt Book Fair, and suddenly it stopped feeling like they were a small family getting together for a meal at the end of the day, and more like a business meeting.

"There's still time if you want to join us," Ian said. "We have a few more spots for signings, and your books are very popular in Germany."

"That's not exactly the kind of trip I had in mind, Ian," Kurt said, masquerading the bitterness in his voice as he moved his food around his plate. He had lost his appetite.

"Well, if you change your mind, let me know by the end of the week. We also met with Teresa Carlyle. Her new series is doing so well, and we thought…"

Kurt stopped listening.

For some reason, he spent the rest of the evening thinking about the way Blaine's cheeks had lit up with his blush, the brightness of his eyes and the gentle curving of his lips when he smiled.

Now I know you're too young to

Have done things you can't undo

To rake over your dreams

And know this is what they've come to

Warm sunny days in the middle of October used to feel like a hug, a small reprieve from the gray perspective of winter just around the corner. Blaine had always loved the way New York became golden and ochre in the fall, had even loved the cold rainy days that were perfect to stay in, wrapped in a blanket, with a steaming cup between his hands, but lately it felt like the sun wasn't warm enough, like he was constantly cold, like the world had turned into an inclement sort of place.

Maybe he was just being dramatic, but he was starting to think he had the right to, after all.

Still, waking up that Saturday morning, the sun shining through the windows almost like it was a Spring day, both Lena and Theo had started begging to go out, to do something fun, to get out of the apartment where they had been cooped up to avoid the bad weather. Blaine had looked at Jack over his cup of coffee, a questioning look in his eyes that his husband had used to read without a second's hesitation, but that now required actual words, like every way they had ever understood each other was now faulty and disconnected.

"We could take them to the park," Blaine said then. "Might be our last chance for a nice day out until March."

"Oh sorry," Jack said as he reached for a slice of toast from the plate in the center of the table. "I thought I mentioned I'm meeting some friends today. We're playing tennis all afternoon."

It wasn't rare – Jack was a sporty guy, and he found it to be a perfect outlet for all the stress he had to face at work, but lately anything he did outside the house, no matter what it was, gave Blaine pause. Was it the truth? Was he really playing tennis or was he going to spend his Saturday in someone else's bed?

"Are you sure you can't cancel?" Blaine asked, and he hated that it sounded like he was begging. "We haven't been out, all four of us, in a while."

"I've been busy," Jack shrugged, like it wasn't a big deal, and Theo chose that particular moment to drop his toast, smearing peanut butter on his clothes and the floor. "Buddy, careful there. I'll go get something to clean up."

Blaine sat at the table and drank his coffee and watched his husband clean the mess their boy had made, Lena already chatting in the background as she listed all the things she wanted to do at the park, and felt numb.

Was this going to be his life for the next ten years? What if the only reason Jack stayed with him was because he didn't want to hurt the kids? Would he walk away as soon as Lena and Theo left for college, leaving behind an empty nest that he couldn't justify staying in any longer? What was Blaine going to do then, when it would probably be too late to start over?

He was going to be old and alone and bitter, looking back on a time that should have been the best of his life, only to realize it had all been a lie.

He was definitely being dramatic.

What he hated the most about all this was how it was turning him into a person he had never wanted to be, someone insecure and bitter and apprehensive. Everything Jack told him now made him doubt and whenever they weren't together, Blaine couldn't stop wondering whether Jack was with Eddie, or maybe even with someone else. He had never been a jealous or distrustful person, and this whole thing had turned him into someone he couldn't and didn't want to recognize.

And still he didn't know what to do, because if he actually did something… then wasn't he going to ruin everything they had built together?

Or was it already ruined?

These thoughts did not leave him alone, not even when he was already at the park, watching Lena as she went down the slide over and over again while he pushed Theo on the swing. His son laughed and laughed and laughed the higher he soared, and it felt like every time he did so he placed a Band-Aid on the cracks in Blaine's heart.

"Having fun, kiddo?" He asked with a smile and Theo only laughed again.

He couldn't do anything to jeopardize this happiness – he couldn't risk erasing the smile and the laughter from his kids' lives.

Eventually they found other kids to play with, so Blaine chose a bench where he could sit and keep an eye on them. Some of the other parents were chatting amongst each other, but Blaine kept his distance, not really in the mood to talk to strangers, but, at the same time, needing to talk to someone who could understand what he was going through. Someone he could trust.

He texted Cooper, asking him if he was free and if he wanted to meet them at the park, promising to get him a cup of coffee and a pastry at their favorite coffee shop afterwards, but he was disappointed by the reply that came only a few minutes later.

[From Cooper]: Sorry, Squirt. I think I'm coming down with the flu. I wouldn't want to get you or the little ones sick. Maybe next weekend?

[From Blaine]: Sure, don't worry about it. Hope you feel better soon. Let me know if there's anything I can help with!

Blaine sighed and went through his contacts, hoping to find someone he could at least call for a minute or two to take his mind off things, but most of them were coworkers or people he wasn't that close to.

And then he saw it, right under his husband's name on the alphabetical list: Kurt Hummel.

Blaine bit his lip. There was a tingly sensation in his stomach at the sight of the name, and he wasn't entirely sure where it was coming from. Maybe it was just nice to have someone new in his life, someone he could be a blank canvas with, not just Blaine Anderson, father of two, cheated-on husband, teacher.

Just Blaine. As simple as that.

He didn't allow himself to hesitate. He simply started typing: Hi, Kurt! Hope you're having a nice weekend.

It was polite and understated and it could either be the opening to a conversation or just a greeting. He had briefly considered asking if he wanted to grab a coffee, but for some reason it felt weird when he had the kids with him. There was nothing weird about it, he knew, and Lena would surely be delighted to meet her favorite author, but something told Blaine it wasn't the smartest idea.

Before he could overthink it any further, his phone vibrated with a response.

[From Kurt]: Hi Blaine! It's so nice to hear from you. I'm having a perfectly adult weekend cleaning out closets and running errands. I know, I know: boring! But someone has to do it. How are you?

Blaine didn't realize he was smiling down at his phone like an idiot. Even in text Kurt sounded genuinely like himself, like his own personality carried through no matter what, too strong and captivating to be dulled even by something as flat as a text message.

[From Blaine]: We can't escape the adult tasks forever. I'm currently at the park with my kids, but I have so much laundry to do when I get home.

[From Kurt]: Being at the park sounds like such a nice treat, though. Do your kids like it?

Blaine hesitated only for a moment before he snapped a picture of the kids and attached it, both of their smiling faces in the center of it all, and sent it to Kurt with the caption: Does it look like they're miserable right now?

The reply didn't take long at all to come through.

[From Kurt]: Oh my god, Blaine, they're adorable. I'm melting.

Now Blaine was beaming at his phone like a true idiot, but before he could even begin to type a response, his phone began to vibrate with a phone call from Kurt.

He accepted it at once.

"Hey."

"God, I'm so sorry for calling, but I seriously can't with that picture," Kurt gushed. "Your little girl is your splitting image. Those curls. She's so gorgeous. And I might need to kidnap your baby just so I can kiss those cheeks non-stop, he's irresistible…"

Blaine chuckled, pleased. "You would regret kidnapping him as soon as he started with one of his tantrums, though."

"I'm sounding like a creep right now, aren't I," Kurt said, a bit of regret slipping into his words. "I'm sorry. I swear I'm a normal person with no bad intentions whatsoever. I just love kids so much and your kids in particular are too adorable for their own good."

"Well, I do agree they're too adorable, but for my own good," Blaine retorted. His eyes were fixed on his kids and the smile was equally fixed on his face. "Do you know how hard it is to tell them they can't have ice cream for dinner every night? They turn those big eyes up to me and I want to give them everything they ask me for."

It was Kurt's turn to chuckle now. "Yeah, probably not the best parenting technique. Remind me what their names are?"

"Lena and Theo," Blaine replied.

"Such beautiful names," Kurt said in a soft voice, and Blaine's heart thumped. He told himself it had nothing to do with the way Kurt talked about his kids. "Do you always take them to the park on the weekends?"

"When we can, yeah," Blaine said. "This might be the last weekend with nice weather in a while, so we had to come out here and enjoy the sun. Soon enough they're going to be cooped up in the apartment watching movies and driving us insane."

"I totally get that. I wanted to go out for drinks tonight, but all my friends already have plans and my husband's working late, so…" There was a bitterness in Kurt's voice that he tried and failed to hide, but it was gone quickly enough that Blaine was left wondering if it had been there at all. "I guess I missed the chance to being outdoors without freezing until next spring."

Blaine thought of his own husband, playing tennis with his friends. If that was what he was really doing anyway. "I'm free tonight," he blurted out before he could stop himself.

There was a moment of silence, just a fraction, in which Blaine wondered where that had come from and Kurt probably wondered if Blaine was desperate for social interaction that didn't include conversations about the latest episode of Paw Patrol or My Little Pony.

"I mean… if that's okay…" Blaine started saying, self-conscious.

"That sounds wonderful. There's a rooftop bar downtown that I've been dying to try all summer, but didn't have a chance. I wouldn't want to have to wait until March or April to check it out," Kurt said.

"Well, let me figure out what to do with the kids – I'm sure my husband will be able to stay with them – and I'll meet you there. Why don't you text me the address?"

Jack would have to dump his sidepiece for the night, because Blaine was sick of staying home pretending he didn't deserve better. Tonight, he was going to go out with Kurt, have a few drinks, and pretend his life wasn't falling to pieces all around him.

The kids were having some healthy snacks in the living room, enraptured with one of their favorite movies, while Blaine cleaned the kitchen. Half of his attention was on his children – it wasn't unusual that one of them got bored of what they were watching and wanted to change it to something else, starting a little war that Blaine would inevitably have to break up – and the other half was on the phone call he'd had with Kurt that afternoon in the park.

It felt so… easy to talk to him. Blaine had always been friendly, had always been social and open, had never had issues getting along with people, but there was something about Kurt that made him feel like he wasn't a stranger at all, as if they could understand each other without a single effort.

It felt brand new and special in a way Blaine couldn't explain.

Maybe he was just lonely. It was a logical conclusion after all, wasn't it? He had been feeling so removed from everything in his life, had known there were things that should have been clicking that weren't clicking anymore even before he found out about Eddie. Of course he had hold onto the first friendly person he had come across. Blaine needed a good friend. He had Cooper, who was the best friend he could have ever asked for, but it was difficult maintaining friendships when you and your husband didn't run in the same circles, when you had two little kids that depended on you, when your only social life happened at work, and most of that time you were surrounded by other people's children. Blaine had had a few good friends left from high school and college, but he hadn't talked to them in… well, he couldn't remember how long it had been. He knew that if he reached out to Wes or David they would reply and everything would be just like it had always been, but what was he going to say when they wanted to catch up on Blaine's life? How was he going to keep a poker face with them when they asked about how Jack was doing?

He didn't have to talk about Jack at all with Kurt. And if they did, he was sure he could keep the smile on his face and lie through his teeth and pretend that his marriage wasn't crumbling right before his eyes, while he did absolutely nothing to stop it…

But mostly, he could have fun for one night, have a drink with a new friend, and put the burden down until the morning. Maybe he would feel like he could breathe again, at least for a short while.

He heard the front door opening and the kids abandoning their movie as they screamed: "Papa, papa, papa!"

He dropped the sponge he had been using to clean the marble counters, dried his hands on a kitchen cloth, and walked out to the living room.

Jack had his tennis racket still hanging from one shoulder, be he was leaning down with his arms open to hug the kids. They had attached themselves to his legs. Lena was already babbling non-stop about the park, and how much fun it had been and Jack was smiling at her as he tilted his head to kiss the top of Theo's head.

It felt like someone was squeezing Blaine's heart with an iron fist. This was his family. Maybe it wasn't as perfect as it used to be, but watching the kids with Jack… there had to be hope, right? There had to be hope that they could get back what they lost…

And then Jack looked up from their children, his eyes meeting Blaine's, and Blaine couldn't exactly explain what it was – was it a glint of guilt, just a small smidge of remorse, or was it something else? – but he knew immediately, without even a second's hesitation, that his husband hadn't been playing tennis at all.

He had spent the afternoon with his lover.

Whatever warmth had begun to spread through him at the sight of Jack with Lena and Theo froze so suddenly it left him a bit breathless.

"Hey," Jack said with a little smile. How could he just smile at Blaine like everything was fine? "Looks like you guys had a nice time at the park."

"Yes," Blaine said. "We did. Looks like you had a nice time playing tennis."

He must have said it with enough poison in his voice that Jack looked up at him again, frowning a little, like he wasn't sure why Blaine was mad.

Did he really think he was that stupid?

"Go back to your movie, alright?" Jack said to the kids. "I'll shower and then we can play a bit."

The kids ran back to the couch, and Jack followed Blaine into the kitchen. He dropped his tennis jacket on the table and went right to the fridge to grab a bottle of water.

"So I take it you did not have a nice time at the park?" Jack said as he leaned against the open fridge door, sipping his water.

"Of course I did," Blaine retorted, and maybe he was cleaning the counter a little more forcefully than necessary.

"Kinda looks like you're mad or something," Jack commented.

"Well, you know, maybe it would be nice if you spent some of your very limited free time with your family. I know you like to play tennis," again the words left him and it was clear he meant something else entirely, "and that you like to hang out with your friends, but there's a lot around here that could use your attention."

Jack sighed. "Blaine, don't make it sound like I'm never here." He kicked the fridge closed and approached Blaine. "I'm not a bad father. I'm always here when the kids need me."

He didn't say he wasn't a bad husband.

"That's great, because I'm going out tonight, and you'll have to stay with them," Blaine said.

Jack blinked like he couldn't quite process what he had just said. "You're going out?"

"Yes," Blaine replied simply. He began to put away the cleaning products. "I already made dinner for the kids, all you have to do is heat it up and figure out what you're in the mood for."

"Are you going out with Cooper?" Jack asked.

"No, Cooper's got the flu," Blaine said. "I'm going out with… a friend from work."

It wasn't a lie, not really, considering he had met Kurt at work. And, honestly, after the fucking tennis excuse, Blaine wasn't exactly feeling guilty about giving him a vague version of the truth.

"Oh, okay," Jack said. It seemed like he was surprised, but not exactly bothered. "I'll go take a shower before you get ready to go out."

And that was that. Blaine stood in the middle of the kitchen and told himself to breathe. He stared at the tennis racket forgotten on the table, and had to fight the urge to throw it in the garbage, to set it on fire, to open the window and hurl it out so it would hit the street below.

He took another deep breath. Tonight he was going to go out, and he wasn't going to think about this, and he was going to be alright.

He could hear the music pouring out from the bar as soon as he stepped out of the cab. Blaine stood in the middle of the sidewalk and stared at the entrance and wondered if maybe this place was supposed to be for a younger crowd – he hadn't been out in a bar in a long time and he suddenly felt old, out of tune. He and Jack usually went to restaurants for dinner when they went out, and when he wanted to grab a beer with Cooper, they usually ended in one of their favorite sports bars in town, where they could drink and chat and watch whatever game was on from the corner of their eye.

He also felt underdressed. This was clearly a chic place (was that how you were supposed to say it? Blaine really did feel old tonight). Most of the people coming in and out were dressed like they were about to walk onto a runway or a club. He was dressed in jeans, a sweater and his favorite navy coat. He looked exactly like what he was: a nearly middle-aged primary school teacher who was currently miserable with his own life.

He shook his head. This was exactly the reason he had decided to go out, to bring himself out of those thoughts, that mindset. He wasn't going to dwell on what was wrong tonight.

"Hey Blaine! I'm up here!"

Confused, Blaine glanced up and saw Kurt leaning out of the railing of the second floor terrace. There was a string of fairy lights twirled around it, and it reflected in Kurt's blue eyes, like a million gold specks.

"I'll be right up!" He said.

He went into the bar and found the staircase that took him to the second floor. He crossed the room up there, filled with tables, where the music seemed to be louder, and went out to the terrace, where the music was still audible but not deafening. There were fewer tables out there, but all of them were occupied. It looked like they weren't the only ones who had decided to take advantage of the weather; everyone wanted to stay out as long as possible until the temperatures became too cold.

Kurt was sitting at a table in the corner, the city as bright as the fairy lights next to him. He smiled when he saw him. "I'm sorry I didn't meet you at the door. I had a feeling they were going to run out of empty tables so I decided to save us one."

"That was a good idea, it's packed!" Blaine replied. Kurt stood up and they both hesitated for a moment, that awkward pause in which two near strangers aren't quite sure how to behave around each other. Blaine rolled his eyes and gave him a quick, friendly hug. "It's so nice to see you again."

"You too," Kurt said, as he went back to his seat. "I'm glad you could join me tonight. First round's on me, since I made you leave the comfort of your home and your children."

"Oh, please, I really needed to get out for a bit," Blaine laughed. "Kids are demanding."

"I bet they are," Kurt said. He rested his chin on his hand and looked at Blaine with an easy smile on his lips. "But both Lena and Theo looked adorable in that pic you sent me today."

"Don't let them fool you, they might be adorable, but they can be a lot of trouble," Blaine said. The waitress dropped a menu on her way to another table and they began to peruse it. "So how did the closet cleaning go?"

"I came out on the other end undefeated," Kurt claimed, making Blaine chuckle. "I have a few things to donate, but it was otherwise okay. I was starting to believe I had a shopping problem, but it looks like things are under control."

"I take it you like fashion," Blaine commented. "I mean, you've been impeccably dressed every time we've met, and I recognize designer brands when I see them. That's an Armani sweater, isn't it?"

"Good eye," Kurt said, clearly pleased. "It is. It's one of my latest purchases. I have a soft spot for clothes. I probably spend more on them than I should. But then again, I'm a fairly successful adult without any heavy responsibilities outside of work, so who's going to tell me I can't splurge on an outfit or two?"

There was a slight bitterness in Kurt's words for a moment, but it was gone so quickly that Blaine wondered if he was just projecting.

Blaine put his menu down. "I'd do the same, but I always end up buying clothes for my kids instead of buying them for me. They grow like weeds. The other day I bought Theo a new pair of pants, tried them on him, and they were perfect. But when I tried to dress him up in them two weeks later, they were too short."

Kurt's eyes went a little soft, and his smile did too. He didn't say anything, he just stared at Blaine, and Blaine could have sworn his pulse was picking up.

"What?" He asked, self-consciously.

"Sorry, it's just…" Kurt shook his head. "When you talk about your kids… it's really beautiful. I can tell how much you love them."

Yes, his pulse was definitely picking up.

"I really do love them," Blaine said warmly. "They're my everything."

The waitress returned then to take their orders. Kurt asked for a glass of white wine, and Blaine for a beer. When he looked back at Kurt, he noticed that his smile turned a little wistful, almost sad.

Blaine frowned. "Are you okay? Did I say something wrong?"

"Actually, the opposite," Kurt replied. He shrugged. "Don't mind me. It's stupid."

"No, no, come on," Blaine insisted, leaning a bit closer to look at him. He really was worried he had upset Kurt somehow. "It can never be stupid. You can tell me anything…"

"It feels kind of heavy to say this to someone I barely know…" Kurt murmured, but he must have seen nothing but genuine interest and concern in Blaine's eyes, because he sighed and added: "I've always wanted to have kids, but my husband doesn't."

"Oh," Blaine breathed out. He felt like reaching out for Kurt's hand but didn't. He wasn't sure that was appropriate. "I'm sorry, that must be difficult to deal with."

Kurt shrugged again, clearly trying to pretend it wasn't that important, but it was obvious that it was. "Can I ask you a very personal question?"

"Sure, yeah," Blaine said.

"Would you have married your husband if you knew he didn't want kids?" Kurt asked.

Blaine sat back, weighing the question. He tried to imagine what would have happened if that had been the case, but his answer was quick and honest, because he knew it without having to think about it very much: "No, I wouldn't have."

Kurt seemed to deflate. "Really?"

"I've always wanted kids, since I was very young. I knew I wanted to be a dad. They were always part of that vague image of a future I had in my head," Blaine explained. "I come from a very traditional family in which you were always supposed to grow up, get a degree, get a good job, get married to someone decent and start a family. Of course, then I came out and the idea of a traditional family was suddenly very different, both in my head and in my parents' heads. Jack's family was like that, too, though. So there was no question that we were both heading in that direction. We wanted kids. It was just a matter of when we would have them."

"I see," Kurt said quietly.

Blaine felt like he had said the wrong thing, even though he had just been honest. "I'm sorry if that's not what you wanted to hear."

"No, no, it's fine," Kurt said, and chuckled like he wanted to show he didn't care, but it was a humorless sound. "I appreciate your honesty." He paused when the waitress dropped their drinks, and took a sip of wine like he was grateful to have something else to focus on. "These past few weeks, I've kept wondering if maybe I made the wrong decision. Which sounds stupid, you know? Because I love Ian. When I chose to marry him, I did so happily. It's just… maybe giving up something so big eventually catches up with you."

Blaine didn't know what to say. Kurt was being so unexpectedly vulnerable and Blaine wasn't sure whether he was looking for comfort or just someone to vent to.

"Sometimes…" Blaine started to say and Kurt looked up at him, blue eyes so hypnotizing. "Sometimes you love someone so much that it's okay to give something else up."

He was thinking of Lena and Theo, of how much he loved them, of everything he was willing to sacrifice to make sure they were always happy. Even if he had to sacrifice his own happiness, his own dignity, by staying with a man who clearly didn't love him anymore.

Or maybe he did love him – but Blaine just wasn't enough for him anymore.

God, he was supposed to be out to not think about this.

Kurt watched him for a moment, so intently, like he was trying to read on him more than he was saying, and then shook his head and laughed lightly. "Sorry. I didn't mean to make things awkward or weird or…"

"No, no, please, don't apologize," Blaine said. "It's fine. I don't mind talking about it, if it helps you."

"I might want to talk more about it at some point, just… not tonight, okay?" Kurt said, and it was clear he had gone out to avoid thinking, just like Blaine had. He suddenly felt a little less alone than he had been not too long ago. "Tell me about your husband, what does he do?"

Blaine wasn't in the mood to talk much about Jack, but he told him a bit about him, and about being married for ten years now, and he vaguely answered a few more questions, but what he truly, truly wanted to say, as he looked into Kurt's eyes was: I'm scared that everything I've built is falling apart.

By the time they ordered their second drink, Blaine managed to change the subject. Kurt had finished reading a book Blaine had on his nightstand and hadn't found time to start yet, so they chatted about it, while Kurt tried to convince Blaine to take at least five minutes out of his day to start it. And then they talked about music, and about Kurt's father's garage in Ohio, and about Blaine's ideas for lessons at school to motivate the kids. It seemed like there wasn't a single thing they couldn't talk about, and it shouldn't have been so natural, not with someone who was nearly a stranger.

But it was. It was natural and easy and sort of perfect, and there it was again, that jolt of electricity that Blaine couldn't quite explain, whenever Kurt smiled or said something particularly funny, or when they both reached for a napkin at the same time and their fingers brushed accidentally. It felt like someone had connected a live wire to him, and he kept getting shocked, only it wasn't that bad.

It was not bad at all.

Blaine had to go home eventually – Kurt wasn't in a rush because his husband was working late again, and it was the inflection on again, that showed Kurt's barely hidden frustration, but Blaine wanted to kiss his children goodnight even though they were most surely asleep by now. They paid the bill and walked out of the bar together, talking about how nice it was and how it lived up to the hype. It was a pity the warm days were over. Blaine would have gladly spent every night sitting in that terrace with Kurt.

Outside, on the sidewalk, they hugged goodbye, and it wasn't as awkward as it was a couple of hours ago. They both lingered, just a second or two, arms wrapped around each other, electricity travelling between them, and Blaine wondered if Kurt felt it too.

He took a cab home, kissed his kids' foreheads, changed into his pajamas and got into bed next to his husband, who was deeply asleep and never even noticed his arrival. He tried to sleep, but instead he stared at the darkened ceiling, not feeling that electricity anymore and craving it more than he had craved anything else in his life.

Well for a moment I was dreaming

We were just beginning

Thought, "Finally I've come home, finally I've come home"

Our boys are getting closer!

See you next week for more :)

Love,

L.-