This fic was only meant for comedic purposes, please do not waste your time on taking it seriously! Enjoy the laughs!
{{DISCLAIMER: I do not own DATE A LIVE! Everything is own by Koshi Tachibana!}}
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Unknown Location
Tohka's PoV
So the final battle huh?
Damn DEM wizards are startin to aggressively assault their attacks. Here I am in a fucking battle wearing my damn tracksuit. I'm pretty beat up from that battle I had with DEM's CEO. fuckin weirdo. I retreated behind a rubble and broken buildings.
"Tohka! are you alright?" Shido who had just arrived at my aid. Right now he's wielding Sandalphon on his hand.
"Yeah I'll be fine, That battle I had may have sustain some damage on me. But I'll live."
"Oh good everyone is waiting for you." Shido said. "We just managed to round up most of the DEM wizard grunts."
With that being said we went to where all of the spirits are gathered. All 10 of us including me.
"Tohka what's up with your armor?" A twin asked.
"Concern, It doesn't seem to protect you at all."
A vein popped on forehead.
"WILL YOU QUIT MAKING FUN OF MY TRACKSUIT!"
"Apologize. Sorry ; Sorry." Both Twins said.
"Tch, We just can't beat him with the amount of wizards he got."
"I could..." I certain time spirit suggest.
"You know we can't risk it, I don't really understand if you're sealed or not but no."
"I have a solution." An Unexpected voice appeared.
"Yeah su-"
I realized who it was. Mio Takamiya in the body, well technically her doppleganger Reine Murusame.
"MIO/REINE!" All of the spirits were alerted and are not in their defense formations with all of their angel out and ready.
"I do have a solution to beat Westcott."
"Why should we trust you?!" Shido asked
"Shido WAIT! And that would be?" I asked.
"But it will cost you something."
I gave her a questioned look.
"Your crystal." She flaty demanded.
"What?"
"In exchange for Isaac Westcott's defeat, I want my sephira crystal back from you."
"Wait, you're a pure-spirit Tohka, and if you eject that crystal out of your body. then that means..." Shido horrifically feared.
I don't really know if the other spirits understands but some of them were surprise specially Shido.
I gave serious look to everyone.
"My body would die." I said.
Then I continued.
"If it were to happened... I want you to forget all of the bringing back Shinji mess and move on! And on top of that leave all of my friends and family alone from now!"
"That could be arranged." She smiled suspiciously.
"Tohka are you sure?"
"Shido... It's almost been year since I met you... at first I wasn't planning on getting along with you but you showed something different from those times. Love and Family. To be honest I haven't felt that since coming to this world." I smirked. "You have been in the spotlight for fixing messes so now it's my turn!"
"Tohka Don't do it!" Kotori surprisingly begged
"To- Tohka please don't!" Unexpectedly Origami did as well. It was rare for her to actually show a caring side for Tohka.
"Origami, It was an honour of being your rival. and with that I'm very grateful!" I smiled. I could swarn I saw tears forming her face.
I then moved a few meters away from them. With Mio floating behind them as I began extracting the crystal from my body I had my hands in a praying pose with me crouching down a little. As I focused all of strength in releasing it all. Due to my low on spiritual mana most of it were my life energy.
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"HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!"
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A HUGE LIGHT SHINE AROUND MY BODY.
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Third PoV
With the light died down the crystal was finally extracted. Tohka entire body froze as it's inside has left it's shell to stand.
She couldn't move or do, Which it brought Shido to tears as he began to cry along with the others spirits. Shido sat his {Sandalphon} to the ground.
In there present. Tohka was standing on her same position, lifelessly dried as her sephira crystal was floating in front her.
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"Tohka!" Shido cried.
"Tohka Why?" Kotori cried as she burst to tears.
"TOHKKKAAAA!" Origami surprisingly screamed in pain. In depth of the lost of a rival, no a friend.
Clap Clap
"Such a wasted potential." A man said floating in a very powerful DEM wizard suit.
"Westcott!" Shido venomily said.
"Princess, had just wasted her potential..." He devilishly smirked then sigh in disappointment, "How foolish of her, my pathetic self-claimed granddaughter. No matter, this night will still end poorly for you."
"Tch try us!" Shido has {Sandalphon} drawn. "How about it Mio?"
In a split second Mio and Tohka's Crystal were gone. Up and left.
All of their shrunk in fear. Were they betrayed. And why did she leave Tohka's lifeless body behind?
"Looks like luck isn't on your side after all Shido Itsuka."
"NO NO NO NO!"
Westcott sprinted towards the group and with his blade he sliced the group up in matter of seconds. Surprisingly slaughter all of them.
Tohka who's body was suppose to be lifelessly was actually viewing this horrific scene inside in her conscious.
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Tohka's POV
With my very own eyes I see Westcott slaughtering all of my friends including Shido who was the first to fall. It was horrfic and traumatizing. As the spirits fall to their death beds their sephira crystals flooded along with Shido's body.
NO NO IT CAN'T BE MIO PROMISED TO HELPS US IN EXCHANGE FOR MY LIFE, DID SHE LIE?
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DID YOU JUST BETRAYED MY NEW FOUND FAMILY?!
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MIO YOU SON OF A BI-
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huh water?
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Why is it?
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[NIGHTMARE/DREAM END]
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Fraxinus' Infirmary
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Splash
"Wake up already, you're going to be late for school." A person tiredly said. It was Reine Murusame holding a bucket. Did she dumped that entire bucket on me?!
Oh thank god it was just nightmare... It almost felt soo real. Now Its wanting me to hate Date A Live's Antagonist even more. Damn Albino CEO.
"Okay mom, I'm up."
Reine flinches from that.
"You alright?"
"Yea... just tired." She says.
"Alright welp, I"ll start getting ready for school."
It's already been fews days since Shido sealed me up. It was weird.
I been taken to fraxinus and was ran with a bunch test. and of course a set up for my identification card so that I could start living here in japan normally. I even asked Kotori for stuff that I would want and need. They're actually letting me live at their place. I know they're going to be building the spirit mansion. I was planning on not living their but. Ehh I don't know.
Oh well, I hope my nightmare wasn't a reality or a vision of the future. That would totally suck.
Alright then TO SCHOOL!
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Raizen High School
Shido's PoV
It's already been a few days since my date with Tohka kinda say it was fun.
With those past days have gone by, School resumed. Something weird has been going on at the house, recently there were dozen of boxes by the doorway, literally. What the heck is up with that?
"Yo Itsuka!"
"Oh hey Tonomachi."
"So have you seen the girl you were with?"
"No, Why do you want to know Tonomachi?"
"You lucky sexual beast! Even though I helped you out as a wingman. but as a man trying to find his own woman, I'm still jealous!" He fakely burst to tears until he's faced stoned. "The guys started a rumor about you going out with Super Genius and on top of that the New girl you were hanging out before they also included her. So I highly suggest you avoid bumping yourself into them!"
As he grabbed my shoulder like a bro.
"Yeah, I'll try to avoid it." I nervously laughed. This got very complicated.
With that out of the way, Tonomachi when back to rambling about his virtual girlfriend.
"Shido Itsuka!"
He turned his faced to not only face Ai Yamabuki but with the rest of the trio, Mai Hazakura and Mii Fujibakama.
"Oh Yamabuki, was it?"
"Yeah whatever, so do you have a clue where that girl you were hanging out is at?"
"Rumor has it, you've been spending time with her and at the same with Super Genius... It's like you're having your own harem!"
"That's so lame!"
"What?!" I exclaimed. "I actually haven't seen her though."
"Bummer, we were going to ask her to join with us."
They walked away from me.
Sighing with relief. I'm actually really worried of Tohka. Where has she been?
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RING RING RING RING
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The bell rang indicating that class is about to begin. Many other students started walking inside the classroom in particular surprise, Tobiichi walked along with them. That's weird she's usually early. More early just to see me walk inside and is she wearing bandages? What happened to her? A cat fight?
Wait are all the boys glaring at me? What did I do?
Oh wait it's that stupid rumor. Damn it Tonomachi if you would shut your trap, I wouldn't be in this mess.
"Alright Class, Today were having a transfer student!" Miss Okamine announced
Miss Tamae Okamine. She's my homeroom teacher and the one I actually practiced with on this Operation: Date A Live. Wait that title rings a bell for some reason.
"A transfer student?"
"I hope it's a girl"
"I bet she's hot!"
"Dude I'll be making my first move on her!"
"Like hell you will!"
One of the boys in the classroom were arguing with each other. These are a lost cause if they keep this up. Am I the only one who isn't affected from this?
"You can come in now."
The door opened revealing to be...
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TOHKA?!
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"Class meet the new transfer student."
She walked in and stood next to her as she wrote her name on the board.
"Oh, Uuuuuhhhhhhh... H- hi I'm Mio Yatogami... ... ..." She paused and realized her mistake. Theres that name Mio I swear I heard that name before. "I mean I'm Tohka, Tohka Yatogami!"
The entire classroom were filled with applause and cheering mainly the dudes but some actually laughed at her mistake. Girls seems to picked an interest on Tohka. I guess they might invite her to their group. The ones who already recognized her, were The trios, and Tonomachi. Origami seemed to be unfazed from all of this.
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Tohka's PoV
"Alright Yatogami, I'll signal you when to come in." Ms Okamine said.
I arrived when the bell rang. Hallways were empty as I stepped my foot inside this school. I wonder how everyone is going to react when I come in there. My guess is the boys will start simping and girls... I don't really know.
"You can come in now." She signaled
I slide the door and step foot inside the classroom. Everyone were gawking in surprise especially Shido, Origami, Tonomachi and the Trios. I mentally laughed.
"Class meet the new transfer student."
I came up to the board and wrote down my full name in Japanese kajins.
"Oh, Uuuuuhhhhhhh... H- hi I'm Mio Yatogami... ... ..."
Wait Mio... fuck... Uhhhhhhhhh
"I mean I'm Tohka, Tohka Yatogami!" I nervously respond to my mistake.
The entire class erupted with cheers and whistles mainly on the boys except for Shido and Tonomachi. The girls clapped.
"Thank you! uhhh."
"Why not tells us a little about yourself Yatogami?"
The boys were perked up to this. As the class was now silent.
"Well Ummm uhhh... That's my friend Shido! We actually live in the same house."
As soon as I said that. The entire atmosphere and Tone inside the classroom has shifted.
"Damn, You Itsuka!"
"So the rumors were true!"
"You already have Tobiichi but now you're taking Yatogami?!"
Oh god these dudes needs to control their hormones.
"Umm actually there's a reason for that!" Shido raised both of his hands defensively.
"We're actually distant relatives! I came from Tokyo! The capital was loud and boring!" I stated. "And I was pretty much lame at my old school, that's why I moved here... Thank you."
I awkwardly approach my desk as it happens to be to Shido's right.
"Well interesting backstory Miss Yatogami... Alight class will continue where we left off yesterday. Yatogami find someone who can lend their notes to you, so you can follow along with us." Miss Okamine explained.
I sighed.
"Psst."
I turned my head to my left see Shido lookin like he was about to explode.
"What kind of stunt was that?" He whispers.
"I'll explained later on break, right now we got class." I quietly replied.
This class is going to get boring. I might have to ace these classes after all I did graduated in my last life.
I pulled a smug face. Little did I know that Origami has been staring at me for the duration of the class.
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TimeSkip
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With first period outta the way, Time for the second. Which was what do you know baking class! I guess this were I face off Origami into a bake off of some sort. I won't be baking cookies but something way better, Gordon Ramsay is going surprise from this creation. By Gordon Ramsay I mean Shido.
"Tohka, could you tell what kind stunt you were pulling earlier?"
"Oh that, It was suppose to be cover up when I transferred."
"Okay, then explain the boxes appearing at my house?"
"Oh those were my stuff."
"Your stuff?"
"Yeah, Did I tell you earlier that I will be living with you, plus I made a request from ratatoskr. some of the boxes have my new computer, basically some basic Otaku stuff."
"You're an Otaku?"
"And I'm proud to be one."
With the conversation starting to end I walked outta the class and headed to baking class. Back in my old life I was a decent cook and baker. I even made cake for my mother on mother's day. This should be easy.
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Second Period: Baking Class
As Baking class started. The Teacher introduced me to the whole class. Same reaction like last class. I did saw some familiar faces from last class. Especially Origami. Creep.
The teacher gave us some basic assignments and right off the bat it was a baking assignment. Imma something more advance from that.
The rest of the students started working of their pastries and bakes. While I prepare my grand one. Origami already started on hers.
((Author: I'm bad at scripting on cooking and baking please forgive me))
I took out a huge bowl. Added flour, eggs, milk, melted butter, some sugar and a bit of baking powder.
I started mixing as it's texture was now right. I then put in a molding and waited for the Oven to have it's right temperature.
"What are you making?"
I turned my head and saw Origami with the same trademark face that's she been showing.
"A simple cake, Nothing big... I'm only waiting for the oven to be at the right temperature."
"I see."
"If you're planning on sabotaging me... Don't even try." I dangerously growled. "If you do... I'll put you in the oven instead."
I cracked my knuckles.
"Huh?" She blankly said and started walking away.
That was unexpectedly weird. With that out of the way the oven was finally ready as I put the molded tray inside.
About almost towards the end of class, it was finally done. Many other students were eyeing my master piece that I made. Even the teacher was impress.
"My, my you've made a very well done cake Yatogami!" The teacher said.
"It wasn't a big deal at all."
"Wow, can I have taste?" One of the students asked.
"Sorry but this food is reserved for Gordon Ramsay." I sternly replied.
"Gordon who?"
I caught a glimpse of Origami finishing her cookies as she began to organize it all into that one box. I did the same.
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RING RING RING RING
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Time for Lunch!
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Lunch
Shido's PoV
Good lunch is finally here. In the mean time I can finally relax and maybe start asking some question to Tohka. After all why would she be moving to my place?
Before I could open my lunch box the was slide open revealing both Tohka and Origami.
What is it now?!
"Gord- I mean Shido, since you're a very gifted cook yourself I need your taste opinion on this master piece!" Tohka said. As she put on my desk what appears to be a blue frosting regular cake?
"And mine." Origami said. She slams her batch next to Tohka's.
"Shido, I only need a highly skilled chef's opinion. Which is you, so please would you kindly eat my damn cake?!" Tohka was starting to get irritated from Origami jsut casually getting in her way.
"Shido, I highly suggested that you try my cookies first!" Origami interjected. She slams her batch to mined.
Uhhhhhhh.
Tohka swiftly turned her head around to face Origami with a sharp glare. Origami just faced her with a very neutral face. But behind that mask of her, she is also glaring.
"The hell is you're problem, ya old white haired hag?!"
The entire classroom gasped at the insult.
"Insulting people with white hair now? how rude of you Yatogami, You complete air headed bimbo." She bluntly said with no emotions.
"DAMNNN IT YOU WANNA FIGHT? MISS STALKER?!"
"With pleasure."
Both seems to be ready to fight with each other. I intervened.
"Hey! Hey! Let's not fight in the school here guys, how about this!"
I took a fork, slice the cake, took a piece then I took a cookie and have both of them eaten at the same time.
"Hmmmm their good."
"Mine was eaten first before yours." Origami stated.
"Damn it would you shut up for once?! It's getting annoying!"
"I refuse."
Tohka kept growling in anger, wait why isn't her spirit energy leaking out? Is she holding it all?
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Tohka's PoV
It's was Lunch time. As soon as the bell rang I rushed out of the classroom and headed back to my homeroom. I noticed that Origami was actually beside me this entire time. We then entered the class together. in a rivalry manner.
Both of us were holding our pastries and treats that we baked in previous class.
"Gord- I mean Shido, since you're a very gifted cook yourself I need your taste opinion on this master piece!" I said.
"And mine." Origami said. She slams her batch next to mine.
Okay, Miss genocide what the hell? I'm just needed his opinion and get on with it but now you're making this situation worst Origami!
"Shido, I only need a highly skilled chef's opinion. Which is you, so please would you kindly eat my damn cake?!" I started to get irritated.
"Shido, I highly suggested that you try my cookies first!" Origami interjected. She slams her batch to mined.
That's it.
I swiftly turned her head around to face Origami with a sharp glare. Origami just faced me with a very neutral face. But behind that mask of her, I knew she was also glaring.
Time to roost ya.
"The hell is you're problem, ya old white haired hag?!"
The entire classroom gasped at the insult. I believe nobody has ever stand up against Origami have they? Time to make history!
I then heard people muttering about me stand up to Origami.
"Look at that, the new girl is fighting Super Genius."
"I say she got guts on facing off the School's idol."
"Is she planning on over throwing her place?"
"That's so lame."
A short pause came in the room until.
"Insulting people with white hair now? how rude of you Yatogami, You complete air headed bimbo." She bluntly said with no emotions.
BIMBO SHE SAID?! OKAY FINE YOU WANNA SQUARE UP?!
"DAMNNN IT YOU WANNA FIGHT? MISS STALKER?!"
"With pleasure."
Before we could even start a brawl Shido, intervened between us. He took a quick slice of the cake and a cookie, and ate them both at the same time.
"Hmmmm their good."
"Mine was eaten first before yours." Origami stated.
"Damn it would you shut up for once?! It's getting annoying!"
"I refuse."
The nerve, is she doing this on purpose?
Someone came by the doorway.
"Hey Itsuka! Something strange just happened, some stranger gave me a whole bag of cookies, You want one. I'll let her but she's watching her figure." Tonomachi raised revealing to be his virtual girlfriend.
"Pedo-Neet!" I simply pointed.
"Wha?!" He was surprised. "How?!"
"Clearly that girlfriend of yours, happens to resemble a middle schooler. Which dubs you as a Pedo-Neet!"
Everyone in the room has clicked in with the logic I have deducted as they started glaring and pitying Tonomachi. Sorry bro but I gotta protect those lolis.
"Well whatever! You do what you do!" He ran away with embarrassment.
Since that scene was outta the way, I needed to talk to Shido really quick.
"Origami." She caught my attention. "Take it or I'll cut it to bits."
In my pocket a pulled out a Shido pic, I didn't know how to describe it but It was rare pic. I think some of the background girls were blushing. Even Shido was.
"What the?! Tohka where did you get that Photo from?!"
I turned my head with my eyes shinning along with a thumbs up.
"It's a trade secret!"
Origami simply snatched the photo from my hand but before she leaves.
"Shido, If you could kindly finish my cookies. That would great but do Ignore Yatogami's work!" She up and left the room, probably going to her locker and add that to her scrapbook.
Good. she's gone.
"Shido."
He gulped.
"Yes, Tohka?"
"Isn't the cafeteria having seafoods on the menu, mainly crabs?"
"I think yeah, On my way to class this morning they're having that tomorrow, Why?"
I grinned.
"Shido, it's about time, I start making some content videos!"
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Timeskip
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At last school is finally overrrrrrrrrrrr.
I mean there's tomorrow but who cares. Tomorrow It's time to make some video content. Just before lunch was about to end I asked Shido to help record a funny video tomorrow at the cafeteria, he kindly agreed and asked what kind of video would it be. I promise to tell him when we do it.
So since I'll be legitimate living here, I might as well make a name outta myself. It turns out this world actually has their own Youtube. It called Wetube.
Will be back to that later.
So anyways with school done Shido and I walked home together... as friends. Origami left as soon as the bell rang so did Tonomachi. Just before we left rain came pouring down hard. It was probably Yoshino's fault.
I can't really blame the girl.
Shortly after we arrived home. The Itsuka residence home, seemed very homie. It was my first time stepping foot to this place. I glance over to the side as I spot some of the boxes. I can take a guess that those are my stuff.
I walked up to one of the boxes and picked them up. I started heading upstairs to my new room.
"Tohka what are you doing?"
"I'm going to unpack."
"You should probably change, you don't want to get a cold."
"Shido, I'm a spirit I think I can dry myself with my leftover mana thank you."
I continued my way up. Two doors were in front of me one of them is Shido's as it says on the door, "Shido's Room".
I headed inside and it seems to be a pretty good room. I mean the only thing that's in here aside from the box that I was holding ,were just a single bed , a desk and a bookshelves.
About a few hours or so, I have finally finished unpacking . I finally set up my computer and the manga's that I requested are properly put away on the shelves. I later then changed my clothes to a classic tracksuit.
I walked downstairs and spotted Reine, Kotori and Shido by the dining table probably talking some ratatoskr business. Shido manage to see me.
"Oh Tohka, we were just talking about stuff."
"I know, your operation: Date A Live in other words a free ticket to get laid. I know you don't have to tell me, I'm not even bothered at all." I smugged.
"Wah?! Wait!" Shido slurring.
"See Shido, even when you're embarrass you can't even have chill conversation with Tohka!" Kotori pointed it out.
"Reine." I called out her name.
"Yes, Tohka?" She sipped her sugar tea or coffee, I don't know.
"I need a crab a suit pronto!"
"Sure, but why?"
"Cause... Content."
"Huh?" Kotori visibly confused.
"Tohka wants to start a Wetube channel." Shido casually blurted it out.
I lifted my pointer finger up and sent a tiny energy blast at him which gave a very small impact and hit Shido.
"OwwWww THE HELL WAS THAT?!"
"For being a loud mouth!"
"I don't see a problem with that." Kotori said. Following with Reine nodding.
Sweet, Operation making my first video is a go. Actually this is a very good plan. With me making content there's a possibility I might even surpass Miku Izayoi in terms popularity, If I keep this up. And as I progress here I could even make a distrack on DEM. I'm a such genius.
"Have you thought of a name for this channel." Shido asked as he got up.
"Already covered!" I replied. "I hereby name this channel SandalPhone!"
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"SandalPhone?" All three said confusingly.
"Yeah! I decide to name it after my angel, but in a literal way how people view it."
"I'm being honest it sounds stupid." Kotori commented.
Well that's harsh, I saw this at a meme once, it was hilarious!
"It does sound very creative." Reine said.
"Same here," Shido answered.
Shido you're a chad. Reine your good with words.
"Well since my plans is finally done for tomorrow, we going to eat dinner now?"
"Oh right!" Shido was alerted as he headed to the kitchen and started preparing.
"Tohka before you go, I want to ask you something."
Hmm?
"Sure what is it?"
"Well... how did you perfectly notice our plan when you first went out with Shido? Before your powers were sealed?" Kotori questioned me.
"I too asked the same as well." Reine respond.
Are they serious?
"Look, what kind idiot would fall for a fake set up restaurant and made up lottery?"
I mean the original Tohka would.
Kotori blushed from that statement as she clearly understand my sense of logic.
"Oh right what was score on the intelligence category?"
I been meaning to ask that myself ever since the I was tested for my stats. from what I remember Tohka was a 33. A Complete innocent moron.
"The results were... Your Intelligence was OVER 9000!" She screamed.
"What 900-"
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CUT!
{{TAKE 2}}
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"You scored a 301." Kotori said.
"A 301? huh not bad."
"A 301 isn't a joke, it's very high and rare for a spirit to score like that." Reine stated.
"So I'm a special case here then?"
"In way a yes." Kotori replied. "Your other attributes scores were to be expected from your date. Actually we also took look at your Reiryoku, What we saw was also very shocking."
I see so intelligence was the only change huh. Wait that's mean I'm smarter than Origami? Wait a minute isn't Reiryoku, spiritual power?
"For your Reiryoku score, it was a 299."
That much spirit power? Is it because of my human soul that merged with this sephira crystal that causes that amount of change to Tohka's stat?
"Alright Dinner is ready!" Shido called us out.
The conversation finally came to a stop. Everyone by the dinning table began eating supper. I personally haven't tried Shido's cooking. But damn it's good if Shido and I's gender were swapped he would been a good house wife.
"You gotta teach me how to cook like this Shido!" I requested. I mean I am good a cooking but not a pro though.
"Sure if we have time, I'll teach you."
Scoreeee.
With dinner outta the way it was time for me to go bed.
Kotori have asked me to take a bath but I rudely declined and headed straight to bed cause I'm tired af. I bet Shido is at the bath right now. Actually I didn't do any of Kotori's obstacles since I was busy unpacking my stuff.
Looks like Tomorrow is another day.
I mean the first day of school wasn't so bad. But tomorrow after we get our video interrupted, I can finally meet Yoshino. I'll have to disguise myself for that.
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I just realized something, here I am in my room sleeping. Don't tell me Kotori is going to tell Shido that my room is his and accidentally sleep next to me?!
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Oh god that would be a nightmare! no pun intended or I don't know.
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If that were to happened I would send that stud flying outta here.
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Alright I'm going to sleep now! I hope I get to meet Yoshino in a calm manner! She's just so cute and MUST BE PROTECTED AT ALL CAUSE!
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End of Chapter 5
Author: To be honest I got nothing to say here, hope this cracked you a smile! And yes Tohka is sorta OP because this is a crackfic, Cya on the next chapter!