After Moiraine's heartbreaking decision, she has nowhere to go, so she decides to find her sister.

The sound of neighing horses woke Moiraine from her sleep. Her eyes fell on the window, and she saw the sun was already up. Groaning, she turned to the other side and closed her eyes again. How could it be morning? She felt like she had barely slept last night! This must be some kind of trickery!

Outside, the Cairhien woman heard a female voice shouting something inaudible, but she had no idea what it was about. The only thing she did notice was that the woman got angrier by the second. Well, this didn't bother her. She would empty her thoughts and return back to…

A loud thud against the outside wall of the house – pretty much at the same height Moiraine's head lay on her pillow – brought the Aes Sedai back to her senses in an instant and made her lift her head.

Again, the woman outside yelled something inaudible, and cursing, Moiraine pushed herself into a sitting position.

"All right, all right. I'm awake," she mumbled, glaring at where she assumed the mysterious object – probably a stone – had hit the wall. "There are easier ways to wake someone." Sighing, Moiraine got out of bed and went for the basin to fill it with water to wash herself.

Her room wasn't big, but it got a bed – which was big enough for two people to sleep in if they liked to cuddle – a wardrobe for her few clothes, a shelf filled with books, a table and two chairs for her studies – and sometimes to eat her dinner in her room – and a bathtub to take a relaxing bath after an especially exhausting day.

Once she was done with washing, Moiraine pulled out one of her new dresses – a beautiful blue robe with long sleeves worn over a white-blue underdress, held together by a thick belt around her waist. Soon after she had arrived in this house, Moiraine had paid a visit to a tailor to get herself new clothes. She barely had anything with her when she had arrived almost two weeks ago and didn't assume to leave anytime soon, so she needed something to wear.

Her eyes fell on a small bundle of clothes, neatly folded and placed on the bottom of the wardrobe – her traveling clothes. The clothes she had worn while she had traveled with Lan.

Her heart ached at the thought of her former companion. Light, she missed him! He had always known what she needed just by giving him a glance. He had barely talked - just like her - and she had enjoyed his silence, yet knowing he was still present – always by her side or one step behind her.

Moiraine's eyes started to burn when tears built up. She knew it was dangerous to think about Lan. Each night, she cried herself to sleep, thinking about what she had lost and wishing he was there with her to wrap her in this bubble of safety only his arms could provide.

Quickly, the woman of the Blue Ajah closed the door of her wardrobe. She needed to focus on the present and not on the past. Lan wasn't there. He was in Tar Valon, watching over Nynaeve and Egwene.

Although a part of her wondered if her sisters had already found a way to release him from their bond. Would she feel the break since she had masked the bond? Was it possible he was already freed from her? Well, at least this means he will spend some time training with the other Warders in the White Tower. He will be an excellent partner for Nynaeve once she's raised to Aes Sedai and bonds him as her Warder.

Another stab to the heart. Although that life had been what she had wanted for Lan, it pained her to think of him as the Warder of another woman. He had been hers for twenty years – her Warder, partner, friend… her soulmate. And now this was all over.

Blood and ashes! Snap out of it! You can't undo what you have done! Lan is where he is supposed to be, and soon you will be over him!

Angry with herself, Moiraine pulled off her nightgown, then put the dress on. It was time to get a cup of tea for breakfast before she left to ride to the city.

But while she put on her kesiera, a small voice in the back of her head whispered, Are you sure you will ever be over him?

When Moiraine went downstairs, she was greeted by the smell of warm bread, eggs, and the fine herbs of freshly brewed tea, coming from the dining room.

"Good morning, my lady."

"Good morning, Eliza."

An elderly woman in a beautiful green dress placed the last plates on the table when Moiraine entered. The table was filled with bread and butter, cheese, warm eggs, sausages, and fruits. The woman of the Blue Ajah smiled warmly at Eliza.

"It smells delicious – as always."

Eliza sighed heavily when Moiraine aimed for the most essential thing on the table – the teapot. "Does this mean you will actually eat something today, my lady? And I'm talking about food, not tea."

Moiraine poured herself a cup, then pulled it close to her nose to inhale the delicious smell. "Eliza, you know I don't need to eat that often."

"Everyone needs to eat," the woman objected.

"Give it up, Eliza. Once Moiraine has made up her mind, you can't convince her to look in another direction."

A second woman appeared in the room, wearing a brown riding dress. Her hair was as dark as Moiraine's, yet she wore it in a stiff bun, unlike the Aes Sedai, and Moiraine saw a lot of greys between the brown, even from a distance. Anvaere Damodred had the typical Damodred features and dark hair, but other than that, she didn't look like her sister. She had a slender figure, and there seemed to be always a grim line around her mouth and a hard look in her eyes – especially when Moiraine was around.

"Then talk some sense into her, Anvaere. You are her older sister. Explain to her why it is important to eat properly," Eliza said angrily, then pointed at the Aes Sedai. "Look at her. No one should look like her. She is way too thin."

Moiraine's sister shrugged her shoulders. "Believe me, Eliza, she wouldn't listen. This woman is deaf when it comes to propositions."

Frustrated, Eliza threw her hands up in the air and left the room. It was useless to argue with these two.

Anvaere took a seat opposite her sister, who tried to pull her strength from the herbs. She wouldn't give in to Anvaere's attempts to provoke her. "Good morning to you, too, Anvaere."

"Good morning," the older sister grumbled, and Moiraine sat in the chair standing next to herself while allowing her tea to cool off. "Did her highness finally decide to get out of bed?"

"Thanks to your friendly waking call, dear sister. It is always a pleasure to be waken like this."

"And I will continue to do this every morning until you remember our agreement about you staying here in my house. You can stay here, but you need to help Eliza and me. This is not the White Tower, Moiraine. We're no servants."

The grip of the Cairhien woman around her cup tightened for a moment. Why did Anvaere always have to…? "Thank you for reminding me, Anvaere. Without you, I would've never noticed."

A part of Moiraine knew she should be careful with her sharp tongue – even though it was necessary to deal with Anvaere's terrible temper – since she was only a guest in the home of her sister. Even when they had been still children in the Sun Palace, the two women had never been friendly around each other. But Moiraine had nowhere else to go, and as much as Anvaere hated her, she would never send her away. Moiraine was family, after all.

Carefully, the woman of the Blue Ajah regained her calm by staring into her cup. She would allow herself to drink a second one before leaving. It would be good to get some distance between herself and Anvaere.

The oldest Damodred sister watched the younger one and took in her clothes with narrowed eyes. "Do you still insist on riding to Cairhien?"

"I do," Moiraine answered shortly. They had already argued about her planned excursion yesterday. She didn't intend to start this anew.

"You're a fool, Moiraine. Cairhien is a dangerous place for a Damodred."

The eyes of the younger sister flitted to the oldest. "Careful, Anvaere. Someone could think you actually care about my well-being."

Anvaere growled, then grabbed her own cup of tea. Surprisingly, she didn't deny nor confirm her sister's accusation.

"I need new books," the Aes Sedai announced calmly when the older woman didn't say anything else and took another sip. She wouldn't tell her sister how much she disliked visiting Cairhien.

All those years during her travels, she had tried to avoid her hometown for as long as possible. She had never felt the urge to return, and that hadn't changed. But now she was there, in a village only an hour away from the big city, and if she wanted information about what was going on in the world, she had to go to Cairhien.

"New books?! Light, Moiraine. Your room is stuffed with books. How many more do you need?"

Moiraine sighed. Her sister had never shared her love for the written word. Anvaere was happy around horses and being surrounded by nature. It was useless to explain to her why ten books didn't count as many. One book was probably already too much for the nature-loving woman.

"If I can't convince you not to go, at least take Eliza with you. She is always complaining about not having enough spices in the kitchen – spices she only gets in Cairhien. She will love you for taking her with you."

"I told Eliza to write me a list of what she needs, so she can refill her stocks. There is no need for her to abandon her tasks."

Grimacing angrily, Anvaere grabbed a piece of cheese while glaring at her sister, who found the content of her cup way more interesting. It was useless. Moiraine wouldn't change her mind.

In silence, the two sisters ate their breakfast – Moiraine drank her tea while Anvaere actually ate something.

Two hours later, Moiraine stood outside the stable where she had left her horse for the day. Cairhien – her hometown. Her stomach twisted painfully inside her, and the Aes Sedai was glad she hadn't eaten anything earlier. She stood on the street among thousand of people passing her, though no one touched her. It was like there was a shield around her, keeping the citizens of Cairhien at a distance.

In truth, it was Moiraine's posture that scared the people – the posture of a noblewoman walking among the peasants. But the Cairhien woman didn't notice the change in her body language. Her body reacted on instinct since she was back behind those walls.

Finally, the woman of the Blue Ajah pulled herself together and started to walk down the street. It was time to get back into action. She had promised Eliza to buy the spices she wanted for cooking, so she would do that first before gathering new information.

Moiraine's nose was overwhelmed by all the spices around her. It was a massive booth with countless pots, each filled with a different spice. The peddler was a friendly older woman who told Moiraine all about how to use her products to get the best flavor and even let her customer smell at the pots. After the tenth pot – or was it the twentieth? – the woman of the Blue Ajah couldn't remember the first anymore, and her brain felt funny. This wasn't the kind of information she had hoped to find in Cairhien.

Politely, the Aes Sedai ended the peddler's lecture and handed her Eliza's list. She couldn't listen to any more helpful advice on how to create the perfect roast. Lan would have loved to spend time with the peddler, talking about food for hours.

Moiraine cursed inwardly when she felt the familiar stab of pain at this thought, and her eyes burned. She had to stop thinking about Lan! He wasn't there! And thinking about him was always connected to inner pain! A pain that was reserved for the night once she was alone in her room. That was the only place where she allowed herself to let the mask and tears fall – the only time of the day she allowed herself to mourn for what she had lost.

Luckily, the peddler was too focused on Eliza's list to notice the short slip of Moiraine's mask. Quickly, the Aes Sedai started a friendly conversation with the older woman, asking her inconspicuously about what was happening in the world.

Sadly, it wasn't much and not even new things. She heard about the White Tower gentling the False Dragon – the moment Moiraine had helped her sisters to gentle Logain felt like a lifetime ago. And the woman had heard rumors about a Trolloc army attacking Fal Dara and slaughtering every living person in the city – Moiraine almost rolled with her eyes when she heard about the exaggeration. It had been a Trolloc army, and they attacked Fal Dara, but there hadn't been many people left in the city to be slaughtered. Yet, she didn't correct the woman. It would have been a waste of breath.

Once the peddler handed Moiraine the spices on Eliza's list, the Aes Sedai thanked the woman and left. She needed to clear her head from all the different smells.

There was a peddler selling different kinds of fruits, but when Moiraine picked up a lemon and tried to inhale the aroma, she couldn't smell it. Her nose was still overwhelmed by the spices.

Sighing, she walked over the market, looking at different booths. She wasn't in a rush. Anvaere would start an argument no matter if she came back earlier or later. And it calmed Moiraine's stomach to see what the different peddlers had to offer.

There was also a gleeman playing with balls and making the children giggle. He even brought a smile to Moiraine's lips when he dropped the balls on his head and pretended it had hurt. The children were cheering.

A booth with books caught Moiraine's eye, and she left the gleeman and the children behind immediately. This was so much better than the spices – at least in her eyes. Tenderly, she let her fingertips move over the leather and the imprinted letters. Some she recognized – she had read many books over the years, especially when she and Lan had stayed in a tavern – others were new to her.

The peddler – a man around her age – watched her reading the titles, then grabbed a book and approached her. "I see you are interested in books, my lady?"

Moiraine smiled at him. "I am."

"May I suggest this book? I think it is more to the liking of my lady. It's about a noblewoman who meets a charismatic man and their way of falling in love. Nothing like these books about battles and warriors which my lady is currently looking at."

The woman of the Blue Ajah lifted her hand with the bag of spices and moved her fingers over the title of the book the man presented to her. "It is a good book. I read it in a tavern during my travels recently. However, I don't mind reading about battles and warriors. But thank you for your concern."

She saw how the eyes of the peddler widened when he noticed the golden ring on her middle finger. "I… of course… Aes Sedai." He bowed, then continued with a trembling voice, "Forgive me, Aes Sedai. I didn't see… I did not mean to disrespect you. Is there anything I can do for you?"

"Thank you, I'll be fine."

Two more times, the peddler bowed before he took a step back. He was embarrassed about not recognizing Moiraine in the first place.

"Witch!"

Moiraine heard the hissed insult in her back, but before she could turn around to the man who had spoken, a strong hand grabbed her wrist painfully. A Whitecloak! She saw the disgust on his face while he stared at her ring.

In a panic, the peddler ran. Like every other human being, he didn't want to get involved in a fight between an Aes Sedai and a Whitecloak. Moiraine had forgotten about him as soon as she had recognized the white cloak of the man.

"Let go of me!" Angrily, the woman of the Blue Ajah tried to free her arm, but the grip of her enemy was strong. He was no newbie.

"My commander will enjoy talking to you, witch."

Forcefully, he pulled her away from the books, and Moiraine stumbled after him before she was able to catch her step and brace herself against him. "Let go of me!"

Surprisingly, the man did stop and turned around. In the last second, Moiraine realized why he had done it, but the realization was too late to react. Pain spread over her cheek when his palm came in contact with her face. Moiraine gasped when her cheek started to burn. Blood and ashes!

"How dare you talk to me, witch?!"

The Aes Sedai took a deep breath. You're on your own. Lan isn't here to protect you. Show this man he can't scare you. Her dagger was hidden underneath her robe, tied around her hip. Before she even thought this through, her free hand was under her robe, wrapping her fingers around the hilt and pulling it out.

Her opponent winced, and his hand reached for his own weapon, but this time, Moiraine was faster. She pressed the blade against his throat, stepping before him to leave no air between them. "I said, let go of me." Her voice was calm yet sounded cold. She couldn't use Saidar but wasn't helpless.

Hate shone in the eyes of the Whitecloak when he released her wrist. "You can't run from us, witch. As soon as you step away from me, I will follow you, and when I catch you, you wish you would have never gone to the White Tower in the first place."

Moiraine's brain was running. He was right. She couldn't fight a Whitecloak and didn't have Saidar to protect herself. And you don't have a Warder by your side to help you. Well, she wouldn't give up easily. Her chances of escaping this man were close to zero, but she refused to give up.

"You're wrong," Moiraine told him coldly. She would never regret escaping the Sun Palace and finding a new home in the White Tower.

When the man before her narrowed his eyes at her, the Aes Sedai pushed him backward into the booth behind him. The man stumbled over his cloak and landed with his butt in a basket full of eggs. The owner screamed when he saw the mess, but Moiraine didn't pay attention to him. She swirled around and fled the market.

The next chapter will be uploaded on Wednesday.

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