One

I stood outside my apartment door, the dimly lit Parisian street casting long shadows in the cool night air. My date, a charming Frenchman I had met a few weeks ago, leaned in for a goodnight kiss. His lips brushed against mine, soft and inviting, and for a moment, I allowed myself to get lost in the sensation.

But as he moved closer, his hands gently slipping around my waist, I found myself pulling away. "I'm sorry," I murmured a hint of regret in my voice. "I can't invite you in tonight."

He looked at me, disappointment flickering in his eyes. "Is something wrong, Maura?"

I shook my head, trying to find the right words to explain what I couldn't even fully comprehend myself. "No, it's not you. It's me. I've been feeling a bit... listless lately."

He nodded understandingly, although I could tell he was still puzzled. "If you ever need someone to talk to, I'm here for you, Maura."

I thanked him and watched as he walked away. As I closed the door behind me, I leaned against it, my mind racing. This wasn't like me. I had always been able to separate emotions from intimacy, viewing it as a means to health benefits. But since leaving Boston, something had changed.

I wandered into my living room, lost in thought. The city of lights and romance surrounded me, but I felt strangely disconnected. Paris was a dream, and yet, I couldn't escape the feeling that I was living someone else's life.

As I sat in my quiet Parisian apartment, my mind wandered back to a time when I had felt truly happy, a time when Jane Rizzoli had been by my side. It was the night before Jane had left for Quantico, and we had shared a rare moment of candid honesty about our hopes for the future.

We had been sitting on the couch in my cozy apartment, the city's distant hum providing a backdrop. Jane had confessed her ambitions, and her desire to excel in her career as an FBI trainer, molding the next generation of agents. It was a side of Jane that I had always admired, her unwavering determination to succeed in this new phase of her life.

But what struck me most was when Jane looked into my eyes and said, "I want to come home to a partner who's always there for me. Maybe a few kids running around, you know? A real family."

Those words had touched me in a way I couldn't explain. She was leaving for Quantico, and I was staying behind, but the prospect of building a life together had felt so real, so tangible.

I missed those nights when we shared our deepest desires and vulnerabilities, but now, thousands of miles apart, it all felt so distant and unattainable. My thoughts and my heart had wandered far from the romance of the past, and I couldn't help but wonder if it was time to make some difficult decisions about my future.

The last time I spoke to Jane. She had been in high spirits, having met a colleague who was quickly becoming quite serious. Mark Hastings, I remembered his name well. He was an intriguing character, an intelligence officer, and not part of the academy, which added an air of mystery to him.

Jane had hinted that Mark could be "the one." I had listened intently as she described him, how he was handsome, a bit taller than her, and had an air of sophistication about him that intrigued her. The last time I spoke to her… Jane had been considering his offer to move in with him.

The news had hit me like a freight train. I had known all along that our friendship was special, that there was something deeper between us, but it had never been the right time to address it. Now, Jane was contemplating a life with someone else, and it left me with a sense of unease and longing.

I couldn't help but wonder if I had missed my chance if the moment to confess my feelings had passed, and if I would forever be left with this aching regret as I watched Jane move on with her life.

Jane's life was moving steadily towards what she wanted, and it was impossible not to reflect on my own path. As I grew closer to the Rizzoli family and spent time with them, I started to appreciate the concept of family in a way I never had before. Jane's warmth and her relationships with Angela, Frankie, and the rest of the clan had a way of drawing me in, making me yearn for something I had never thought I desired.

The idea of children had never held any allure for me, but as I watched Jane's life take shape, I realized that family wasn't just about biology or genes; it was about love, support, and being there for one another. It was about building something beautiful together, something that could stand the test of time.

And if, for some reason, I ever decided to embark on that journey, there was only one person I could imagine doing it with. Jane was the one who had shown me the beauty of family, and she was the one who had stolen my heart in the process. It was a realization that left me both hopeful and fearful, knowing that the path ahead would be anything but easy.

A night of reflection and missing my best friend, made me keen on reaching out. I needed to see her. I glanced at the time and realized that Jane was probably just settling in after dinner. It was early enough on the east coast. So I dressed for bed with a hoodie she had left behind to fill my senses with Jane. I poured myself some dry red wine and settled on my couch with my laptop. The thought of seeing her again filled me with excitement and longing. My heart fluttered in anticipation of our Facetime call, a chance to bridge the physical distance between us.

With bated breath, I initiated the call, and my eyes stayed glued to the screen, hoping to see Jane's familiar face. However, disappointment washed over me as the call went unanswered. My heart sank, but I knew better than to push. Jane had her reasons for not picking up, and I respected her need for space.

Even though I was left wanting, I understood the delicate balance between our friendship and the complexities of our emotions. I hoped that someday, the stars would align, and we could find the right moment to share our thoughts and feelings once more.