Day Nineteen: What if we're wrong?

Definitely a prequel to day fourteen: If You Don't Stop Now.

Characters/Pairings: Jake/Rose

Rating: T

Content warnings: none?

Don't forget that you can find me on tumblr: we - are - all - of - legend - now and that my ao3 account is wearealloflegendnow (even though I haven't posted there yet)!

~TLL~

Jake put his head in his hands, biting back a sob. He had been up all-night crying and he couldn't have red eyes when Rose appeared. It was going to be obvious what was happening as soon as he started talking but he didn't want Rose to get one look at him and run. He knew that she was going to, eventually, because that was who she was. Jake also knew that he was sending her away but that didn't mean that it wouldn't kill him when she finally went.

Rose popped up behind him, her hands going around Jake's eyes. He felt the weight of her on his back as she leant into him and whispered, "Guess who?"

Jake would miss this game. Jake would miss everything. For the millionth time, he wondered why he was doing this to them.

"It's my Rose," he said, for the last time.

"It's your Rose!" she said, sounding gleeful as she took the spot next to him. "And I'm so glad I got to see you today. Everything's been so insane and you are the only thing that makes things okay. I swear, every day that I don't get to see you, I lose my mind."

Jake wrapped his arm around her shoulders, reminding himself of all the things that he had said to himself last night and the nights before that and all of the things that his friends had said to him and all of the things that his family had said to him about why this wasn't right and it wasn't healthy and they shouldn't do this to each other even though all Jake wanted was to keep doing this to each other. Except, he didn't. Except, he did. If Rose was the woman who had a normal life, who could have children and just be his wife the way that they daydreamed about, Jake knew that they would make it. But, Rose would never be normal. Rose didn't even try to make herself normal, and Jake had to give up the ghost. They had been together for eight years and things were still the same as they were when they were in school. They weren't growing up and they weren't getting better.

Jake leant down and kissed her, deeply, pulling her into him and savouring the moment. This was going to be their last kiss. It didn't seem fair that Jake knew it and Rose didn't.

Rose put her hand on his chest, pulling back. "Is everything okay?"

Rose knew him better than anyone in the world did. Probably ever would.

"Rose, we need to talk."

Rose's face went stony. "No."

"You don't even know –"

"I do know. I know what it means when someone has to talk and I know what your face does when you're upset and I'm telling you that I'm not hearing it. We said forever."

"I know. And that's what I wanted to –"

"Then why did you stop?"

All of the speeches that Jake had come up with last night were never going to get said because Rose was never going to want to hear them. Jake supposed that he shouldn't have been surprised because that was who his girl was. Except, she wasn't his girl anymore. Almost anymore.

"I didn't," Jake said. "But the dreams stopped and reality is taking over and if we don't get out now, we'll never get out."

"I don't want out! I love you. I have always loved you. I don't understand why you are being like this!"

"Because you are still in the Huntsclan, no matter what options Gramps and I try to give you! Because we are still stealing moments together like we are kids getting around a curfew! Because I would die for you and I have a legacy and a world and a community to think of and you are the enemy."

Rose reared back like Jake had hit her across the face. "You've never called me your enemy before."

"It's true. It's always been true. And I've always believed that we could overcome it but I've stopped being sure," Jake admitted. "I want a normal life. I can't have that with you."

"So, you love that idea more than me?"

"I love nothing more than you!" Jake cried, "but don't you see that that's the problem? I would give every single thing in my life up to have you and that's not normal. That's not reasonable. And, you aren't doing the same thing for me! Leave the Huntsclan right now, go into hiding at Gramps' shop, and we'll figure it out, but if you can't commit to that, then we're done."

"Don't," Rose said. She was crying now and Jake was starting to die inside. Rose would let him take all the words back and chalk it up to stress, a fight, anything, to make the words mean nothing. Jake knew that and that was why he forced himself to keep his mouth shut. All of his words meant something and he needed her to hear them. More than that, Jake needed her to do something about them. "I love you and you're the one that said that we were the only ones for each other and we're soulmates!"

"I want us to be right and I want us to be soulmates but what if we're wrong?"

"We're not wrong. We're not. We've loved each other for too long."

"That doesn't mean that we don't have to work for things and make things happen for us. And I just told you what I need from you. I love you. Please do this for me."

"I love you too," Rose said.

But I'm not going to do that.

The words that Rose didn't say hung heavy in the air between them.

"I want you. I need you. You are the only good thing in my life and I can't be without you. Please, Jake, don't make me be without you."

"I'm not making you," Jake said. "I'm giving you the choice but the choice has to be made now."

"That's an ultimatum and that's not fair."

"I'm just holding you to your word," Jake argued. "This is everything you ever said that you would do for me but now I need you to prove it and actually do it for me. Save yourself. Let me save you!"

"I need more time."

"I'm walking away now," Jake said.

Jake felt Rose's hand claw desperately at his side but he didn't sit back down. He stood over her, watching her cry, wanting to cry with her, but he couldn't give in. He couldn't keep going in this cycle. His family knew it, his friends knew it, and he was finally waking up to that fact too.

"Don't," Rose begged. "I love you."

"I love you too." Jake bent down and kissed her forehead. "Goodbye, Rose."

Jake turned his back on her, putting his hands in his pockets and walking away, rather than flying. He needed the time to think and process and feel that walking would give him.

"From now on," Rose screamed from behind him, "We're enemies! Never forget what you did!"

Jake knew it would haunt him to the day that he died but he still didn't turn around.