"So I know you said they were going to kick your ass, but are they going to hurt the rest of us?"

"No."

"Probably."

"I think so."

Jay just sighed, shaking his head before he accidentally caught Voight's eye, his Sergeants amusement at his team's commentary undercut by his own concern.

It had been a week since Tess's team had arrived. Five days that had been full of awkward encounters, conversations that ended as soon as he walked in the room before someone either brought him in or started a new one, five days of feeling like an outsider in what had just started to feel like his home, a comfort level some people hated to see. One person. The two nights ago he hadn't been able to sleep so he'd gone for a walk around the apartment, after making sure Tess was still out, sleeping deeply thanks to her gummies but he'd only had a couple seconds to watch Vivienne sitting by the pool before she'd noticed him, purposefully, and roughly, knocking his shoulder as she left. He could've taken the opportunity to say something but instead he'd let her go, feeling more alone than he had in a while as he took her place by the waters edge.

It was something they'd all been doing.

Everyone knew they needed to talk but none of them had tried to; it was like they'd all decided to take this time to settle in before the signal came that they could let loose, though what that was going to be none of them seemed to know. But they all seemed to agree it was likely to come today. Because it was finally time to bring their two teams together, for a sparring session of all things. Tess thought it was a horrible idea, she'd barely slept last night even with the gummies and when he'd left this morning Nysa had been convincing her for the seventh time that it would be fine and while he didn't know if that was true he knew this needed to happen.

"Seriously though, how bad is this going to be?"

"We'll be fine." Adam said with a wave of his hand, his nonchalance starting to get on Jay's nerves.

"They're elite operatives with decades more experience than any of us. We're all going to get our asses kicked." He said firmly, holding the other man's stare until he finally began to look a little nervous and then he turned to Vanessa. "Me and you will get it the worst. Then Adam and Voight. The rest of you should be fine, but you'll definitely have bruises."

"Woah, what did me and Voight do?"

"You're an entitled white boy and he's an old white man."

Adam grumbled at that and while Voight also made an unimpressed face he too seemed to understand his reasoning. Also it wasn't like they could give a rebuttal even if they wanted to because they were here.

With a twisting feeling in his gut that was probably pretty similar to what Tess had confessed she sometimes felt he led everyone inside the Haven, torn between watching their reactions and returning the greetings some of the residents gave him, his mind racing as he wondered what his friends made of it. Of them. Of him. As Tess liked to say it was a lot but he was determined to get through it. If he wanted these worlds to come together he was going to have to make it happen himself and as nervous as that made him it was also exciting, especially because as they finally got off on the fourteenth floor, where her lab and gym were located, he couldn't help but wonder what they might become when they did. What his team might become because if it hadn't been before it immediately became clear that they were the ones who had something to learn.

Tess and Nysa were in the middle of sparring, their staffs moving so rapidly he didn't have a chance of keeping track. He could hear them though, the loud clacks as they met over and over; they were both too trained not to have noticed their entrance but they were both too good to take their attention off the fight, a good thing as they were greeted by the rest of their team.

"Look who finally showed up. Ready to get your asses kicked?" Adita called out, smirking when David shoved her shoulder.

"Ignore her. It's nice to meet you guys."

"You too."

"Really? Kinda got the impression you wanted us dead."

Vanessa's face froze and then fell even as everyone else's tightened at Vivienne's comment, an extra hard clack resounding through the room.

"That was-"

"I wasn't talking to you." Vivienne might've cut Hailey off quietly, calmly even but he knew from experience that didn't help the sting when her eyes flicked over the two women with disdain. "Good to know she needs a babysitter though."

"We-"

"No. Definitely no." She didn't even look at Voight as she shook her head but there was genuine kindness in her eyes when she ran them over Kim and Kevin, the kind that brought an ache to his chest wondering if she'd ever look at him that way again. "You two can sit with me. I like you."

"You're such a bitch." Adita said with a laugh, a big chunk of tensing easing when Viv just smirked and shrugged. "The rest of you can sit with me. I don't bite."

"Yes she does." David, John and Michael said in unison, prompting her to grin and snap her teeth at them.

They might've been relaxed but his friends clearly had no idea what to make of them, especially Voight who looked torn between standing up for his team and letting them sort this hierarchy out for themselves. Something he watched his Sergeant realize he was going to have to do as well as Coulson chimed in.

"You can sit with me." The agent quipped, waving his boss over where he sat on a padded bench against the wall; this place was almost as big as Duncan's, and even more fancy, but still with that grounded feel Tess brought to everything.

A feeling he tried to bring out in himself as he took a seat between Michael and John, Kim and Kevin shooting him nervous looks before they went to sit with Vivienne, the others doing the same as they took up spots with David and Adita, everyone quietly introducing themselves before they turned their attention to something safe. Tess and Nysa, a swell of pride filling him at his friends impressed murmurs as they watched them.

They were really something.

Unlike anything any of them had ever seen and so much better than how he'd last seen them, a testament to their dedication to their craft. And a painful reminder of his own inadequacies but Jay pushed those thoughts down and focused on the appreciation for their skill, easy to do when they kept stunning him. The way they moved was effortless, of course, graceful and deadly and fun; they might've moved quick but their grins were broad, wolfish but bright, particularly when Tess dropped to a knee and broke her staff in two. Not broke but separated, Nysa jumping over her to get clear before she did the same, the gasps from his friends giving him another swell as they went at each other again, within two minutes each making the other lose a stick. They probably could've gone for hours, especially if they weren't counting kill shots but after a few more minutes suddenly they each had a stick at the others throat, those grins identical as they panted before they lowered them in unison, grasping each others forearms as they pulled themselves to their feet.

"Holy shit." Adam mumbled, a sentiment every member of his team echoed, save for Voight who for possibly the first time was speechless.

It was one thing to hear him say they were elite operatives but it was something else entirely to see it for themselves.

"They almost always tie." Adita explained. "It's getting BORING!"

Tess just laughed while Nysa smiled, taking the water Michael and he passed them before Tess looked everyone over and he wondered if his team could see the tightness behind her smile as well as her own could. "Who's up next?"

"I call the white boy!" Adita cried out, jumping to her feet and pulling Adam with her.

"I can't do that."

"No shit." She said with a snort, tugging him over to a small corner of the mat. "But we'll see what you can do."

"I'll take you."

Everyone's heads whipped to Vivienne as she nodded to Kim and though his friend looked a little worried, though not nearly as much as Adam she followed her, just like Hailey followed David and Vanessa Nysa, Tess and John taking Kevin which left him with Michael. That made him nervous, rightfully so but there was enough mirth in him that he made a parting comment to the last two left sitting.

"You old-timers just going to watch?"

A round of chuckles answered him, and Voight's classic eyebrow raise but Coulson grinned. "I think we've got a few things we could teach each other."

Voight looked surprised but he too joined them on the mats, the quiet conversations that filled the room easing the tension in his shoulders, for a moment. Until he came face-to-face with Michael. Everyone here had a role to play but it was their job to make sure this went smoothly but while the responsibility they felt might be the same the difference was Michael had the respect that meant his team would listen to him. He was their leader while Jay was just another member, and that was no ones fault but his own.

"Start now." The other man said quietly, his stare firm but with a strong note of belief. More than he deserved but as he got into position across from him the next swell that filled him was a desire to earn it.

They started off easy, each wanting to pay more attention to how everyone else was doing. Adam had the same look of determination he did, probably because Adita kept knocking him on his ass and calling him white boy, something Kevin kept laughing at in-between Tess bringing him to his knees and John showing him how to counter her, when she wasn't bringing him to his knees. Nysa, David and Vivienne were all doing the same with their students, correcting their forms and showing them new or better ways to throw or take a hit; they all knew how to fight, they wouldn't be in Intelligence if they didn't but this was a level none of them were used to and as uncomfortable as that made them he could the same drive in all of them to learn as much as they could. After about fifteen minutes Adita yelled out switch and with a cohesion that tore at him Tess's team switched their partners, Michael taking Adam while Adita took Vanessa, David coming to him while Nysa went to Hailey, John and Tess going to Kim while Vivienne went to Kevin, repeating the same process for another fifteen minutes until they did it again. And again and again, until everyone had worked with everyone.

Almost.

They were all taking a breather, the desire for food high in everyone but there was something he wanted more.

"We haven't sparred yet."

Everyone froze at his comment, the lighthearted aura they'd all worked so hard for flickering and then dying but Jay didn't take his eyes off Vivienne, even when she looked to Tess for permission.

You can't stop us from fighting.

No, she couldn't.

And while he knew she didn't like this he also knew she wasn't going to stop them. This had to be done and maybe this wasn't the right time or place, but wasn't it? They were already fighting, in a mostly padded room so the chances of injury were less and it was better to have people around to break them up rather than let them go at each other on their own. And it wasn't that he thought this one fight was going to fix everything, or anything, but they had to start somewhere.

Someone had to give that signal and it couldn't, it shouldn't, be anyone but him.

And they must have all agreed because with a vicious look Vivienne picked up two staffs and stalked towards him, smirking when he fumbled slightly as he caught one but he had to push his embarrassment out of his head. There was no question he was about to get his ass kicked but he would take it with his head held high and he'd give back as much as he could. So he took his spot across from her, ignoring his teams concerned comments and their very presence as he let his guard drop. Not his physical guard, he wasn't stupid, or suicidal, but his emotional one; his own inner wall, not an iron one like Tess but made of wood and stone, cobbled together from a lifetime of fighting and running. But not here. Jay let Vivienne see all of it, his shame and his anger, unsure which one made her snap but when she rushed him he was ready for it, blocking her strike and sending one right back, which she quickly blocked herself before she sent her stick into his shin. It was a cheap shot and she knew it, but she didn't care.

She took every hit she could and that was a lot, way more than he landed and way harder, and getting harder every time he managed to sneak one in. It was pissing her off that he was keeping up with her, barely but clearly she could tell that Tess had been coaching him and he didn't know how long they went but the more time went on the angrier she got, until finally the end of her stick landed squarely against the side of his jaw. The cries of outrage from his team filled the space, especially loud because her own was silent. He should've paid more attention to that, to the rage and pain radiating off the woman they were both fighting for but he didn't. Instead Jay just shook his head and threw himself at Vivienne even harder, slamming his own stick into her foot and then her thigh and when she twisted it out of his grasp he balled his fists, a surge of his own anger fueling him when she tossed her stick aside but before they could meet a glass bottle landed between their feet and shattered, startling them apart as they tried to avoid the debris.

As one they looked to their stunned audience, following their shocked gazes to the woman behind them.

Tess.

The look of hurt and blame in her eyes killed him and again as one he and Vivienne stepped towards her but she stepped back, quickly turning and making for elevator, everyone silent as they watched her go.

Almost everyone.

"I love when she throws things." Adita whispered, a more wicked version of that familiar reverence as she pushed herself to her feet. "Wait up Devi!"

Tess did not and when it looked like the doors would close before she got to her the other woman broke into a sprint and slid into the elevator, just enough time for them to watch her smile and say something in Hindi before they were finally out of sight.

"You, clean it up. You, with me."

Jay didn't know what startled him more, the harsh way John spoke and looked at him and Vivienne, very unfamiliar from the man who was known as a gentle giant or the way he and Vivienne looked at each other. For a fraction of a second there was a ghost of camaraderie past but that just seemed to drive her harder towards her anger, disgust in her eyes as she stepped away.

"Cleaning up your mess once again."

He had just enough to time to feel the barb pierce and ripple through him before another one was thrown out.

"You really are a bitch."

Vivienne's eyes had already found Vanessa by the time she halted and this time they were bright with mockery as she titled her head at the girl. "Takes one to know one. But at least I'm not the kind of bitch who's so carelessly arrogant I jeopardize national and global security. And I am not so cuntless I would abandon my family."

Everyone felt that and they all just let it sit, after a few seconds Michael and Nysa ushering the others upstairs as he began to follow John, once again accidentally catching his Sergeants eye. It wasn't pity in them but a deep sadness, and something he thought looked like understanding but he didn't let that sit. He couldn't.

All he could feel was shame.

He could feel John watching him, caught the arms that could literally bend steel flexing with his frustration in his own more furtive glances but the other man stayed quiet so he did too. He didn't know where he was taking him, a place they could talk privately or somewhere his body would never be discovered but it didn't matter because whichever it was he deserved it. Jay had thought that by asking Vivienne to spar with him he would show her whatever her feelings towards him he still respected her, he still cared for her so he would take whatever punishment she thought was necessary because he knew he owed her that. And maybe he thought that by showing her he wasn't backing down he might even get a shred of the respect she used to hold for him back.

But he'd been so, so wrong.

He hadn't just underestimated the anger she held for him, a fury that genuinely scared him he'd underestimated what he held towards her. And that wasn't fair, he knew he was the one in the wrong but feelings weren't logical and he hadn't had the grip on his that he'd thought. And because of that he'd hurt Tess, had pushed her over the edge she'd been clinging so desperately to, the one he'd promised was going to hold up.

He'd broken so many promises.

Him, the honorable soldier- how anyone could still think that he didn't know, but then again not many people did anymore.

Only her.

Only the one that really mattered and he wasn't so sure she wasn't deluding herself.

"You done beating yourself up?"

"I think I got a long way to go before I even get close to deserving that." Jay answered numbly, meeting John's stare as the other man at last turned to face him.

He'd taken them to the other side of the floor, to Tess's workshop where she did all her tinkering, a place he'd been delighted by the first time she'd brought him here but now… Now he felt like a failed experiment.

How many times could they try this before they had to accept it wasn't going to work?

"You thinking about giving up?"

"Never." He said firmly, the red-hot anger that filled him at the insinuation he would leave her burning away his doubt; he and Tess might not make sense by everyone else's standards but they did by their own and they were done letting themselves throw in the towel, no matter how bleak things looked.

As long as that really was what was best for her.

A quiet but heavy sigh caught his attention and he turned it back to John, watching the other man look him over with that same combination of sadness and understanding before he put his own out one of the floor-to-ceiling windows and began taking in the cityscape. He was like a brother to Tess, loved and protected her as fiercely as she did everyone else but while Vivienne hated him and Michal and Nysa seemed disappointed with John it felt like that disappointed was aimed at himself as much as it was Jay.

"Did you know I left Addy once?" He said after another minute of silence, his somber gaze catching and holding his own, that sadness growing at his surprise.

Because he wasn't talking about their teammate but his wife, Addison.

They'd met while he was still in the Marines and had fallen hard for each other, marrying less than six months later and had been going strong ever since. They had five kids, four boys and one girl and aside from Antonio and Laura had been the most stable couple he knew, and were now that had ended. It seemed unthinkable that he would ever abandon her.

Just as unthinkable as him leaving Tess had been.

"It was her first pregnancy- we found out right before I had to leave and for the whole time I was gone I didn't talk to her."

"Why?"

"I was a coward." He said simply, that understanding making a lot more sense now. "I didn't know what to say, how I was supposed to help from so far away, in a battle I couldn't fight for her- so instead I did nothing. It was easier that way. Until it was time to come home."

"What did you do?"

"I got my ass kicked. By her, her family, her friends, until finally she forgave me. And it took awhile but eventually they did too. Mostly."

And that was the difference.

Tess hadn't gotten mad at him, not once, not really. Not the way he deserved.

Not the way she deserved.

"She was plenty mad, don't worry. We all were."

"And now?"

John took another quiet but heavy breath, looking him over before he nodded. "Tess stopped being mad a long time ago. At you anyway. And I'm not going to speak for anyone else but I forgive you. It's going to take time for me to trust you again though. And to like you."

"It's taking me a while to like me too." Jay replied with a hoarse chuckle, feeling grateful but undeserving of the firm but gentle hand that squeezed his shoulder.

"I get it but that hates not helping her. It's what's hurting her. And it's not just coming from you, so let us deal with the viper for a while, alright?"

He didn't want to.

Jay was tired of letting other people fight his battles but a good soldier knew when to stand down.

"Okay."

"Then let's go." With one final squeeze John led him back to the gym, which was empty, and pristine, and then upstairs to the apartment, which was decidedly not empty.

Turned out his team had stayed.

He hadn't expected them to, hadn't expected Tess to have wanted them to but seeing them all together made his heart go warm; they seemed to have taken it upon themselves to make her feel better, all gathered around where she sat on the kitchen island as they made dinner. Fresh pasta by the looks of it, one of her favourites, Kevin and Adam making her laugh as they tried, and failed, to listen to Nysa and Michael's instructions on how to turn the dough into ravioli squares while Kim, Hailey and Vanessa were working with Vivenne, David and Adita to make the stuffing, once again Voight and Coulson sitting off to the side watching. Everyone paused when they entered though, his team getting out of the way just in time for him to catch Adita's wicked grin before a cup, a plastic cup, hit him square in the chest.

Jay just blinked at the water that splashed across him, waiting until he heard Tess's laugh before he relaxed. It was definitely deserved, and he supposed it was funny but since he didn't feel close enough to Adita to tease her back it was Vanessa's head he dumped the rest of the water on, enjoying her shocked expression as he finally went to Tess's side. He didn't know how to say sorry, a public apology didn't feel right for this moment so he just put his chin on her shoulder, confused when everyone looked at him strangely. It was just for a second before they all made themselves busy again and Tess didn't give him any indication of why but she took his hand and slid her fingers between his and that was all he needed. For now. He'd address the violent glare coming from across the island later because as angry as Vivienne was she couldn't ignore all the history they had together.

And it was a thin line between love and hate.