Author's Note: I have been guilty of woobifying All for One in the past, but for the record, I don't think good parents would have automatically made him into a good person.

Gfan97 you're the only person who could have gotten me to write good Shigaraki parents! Thank you for this cool idea, as well as betareading and coming up with omakes with me. Whoa at this point I've lost track of how many backstories I have for the Shigaraki brothers. However I think this one is particularly fun.

Kaiji = the Second One for All holder and Sanzou = the Third One for All holder.

Mayu Shigaraki bustled around the kitchen, checking on the rolls in the oven, then the boiling pot of udon on the stove. She wiped her hands on her apron, fidgeted, then checked again.

From the doorway, Naruhito Shigaraki said, "Stop worrying, love. The boys always enjoy your cooking." Holding up his plastic bag, he said, "I brought drinks." With his other hand, he whipped out a bouquet of flowers from behind his back. "And flowers for my flower." He proffered the bouquet with an exaggerated bow.

Mayu giggled and pecked her husband on the lips. "Thank you. These will look perfect on the table." She found a vase for the flowers. Meanwhile Naruhito took down plates to set the table. The two of them moved around the kitchen without bumping into each, a synchroneity born from over thirty years of marriage. Mayu was a head taller than her husband, with black hair streaked with grey. Naruhito had been short even before his back started to hunch over. He wore thick glasses and had shaved off his hair when it had first started thinning.

The doorbell rang. By the same silent communication, both of them headed to the hallway together.

Hisashi Shigaraki stood on the doorstep, wearing a black suit and towering over them both with his curly white hair and brilliantly red eyes.

"Come in, come in." Naruhito embraced his son. "Just look at you, as handsome as ever! You clearly got both your height and your looks from your mother."

Mayu stood on her tiptoes to kiss Hisashi's cheek. "Ah, you've grown taller and thinner since I last saw you. I don't know how you're still growing at your age, but clearly you need to eat more. Make sure you have three good meals a day even when I'm not there to feed you." She touched his face.

Hisashi smiled, softly and sincerely. "I have a personal chef. But nothing beats your home cooking, Mom."

"Such a good boy." Mayu smiled. "Sit down, dinner is almost ready. That brother of yours had better not be late again."

Hisashi's smile turned a tad malicious. "I'm sure dear Yoichi is slower because he has to take public transportation. I offered him a ride, but he turned me down."

"Such a good boy," Mayu repeated, patting his head. "And such a good older brother."

Yoichi checked his pants to make sure he'd adequately covered the knife strapped to his thigh. Then he nudged Kaiji. "My hero, your bazooka is showing." The giant gun formed a huge bulk on the Second One for All holder's back, the tip sticking out from under his shirt.

Scowling, Kaiji put on a leather jacket. "Better?"

Yoichi sighed. "You're not going to be able to smuggle a bazooka in. The coat isn't hiding it, and my parents would insist on you taking off your jacket at the door anyway. You'll have to settle for your derringer."

"But we're having dinner with All for One!" Kaiji protested. He paled, making the long scar running across his face stand out. All for One had given Kaiji that huge scar in revenge for "stealing" his younger brother by recruiting him into his vigilante organization—and dating him. It was difficult to say which had infuriated All for One more.

"You've done this before." Yoichi put his arms around his boyfriend and stroked his hair. "My brother won't pull anything in front of my parents."

"Are you sure?" Kaiji asked. "Because you're literally betting my life and your freedom on it."

"I'm sure." Yoichi straightened his boyfriend's collar. They both wore collared shirts as a nod to his parents' sensibilities. Kaiji wore nice slacks, but Yoichi didn't own any pants except sweatpants. "Big brother has many, many, many flaws, but he loves his family."

"Loves them a little too much. Hence why he locked you up in a vault," Kaiji pointed out.

"Yes, but when Mom accidentally opened his vault while looking for bank documents, he had to let me out and we both had to pretend it was an accident." Yoichi shrugged. "Hisashi keeps up the façade of being a dutiful son in front of our parents. Maintaining their high regard is important to him."

"Have you ever considered using that?" Kaiji asked. "If you told your parents the truth, then could you stop All for One?"

"Big brother wouldn't stop for me, and he wouldn't stop for them either." Yoichi's tone became sharp, his mouth flattening into a thin line. "If Mom and Dad learned the truth, they'd be horrified. They're far too strait-laced and normal to accept a criminal overlord for a son. They'd try to talk him into turning himself in, and if that didn't work, they'd disown him. Hisashi knows it, too. That's why he keeps up appearances in front of them. But if they ever rejected him, he'd react the same way as when I tried to leave. My brother is very bad at handling rejection. And my parents couldn't last inside a vault. My dad has a bad back, and my mom is scared of the dark. They're ordinary people, my hero. We can't let them get dragged into our world. Even my brother would agree with me on that one point. We have a fragile truce revolving around our parents, and family dinners are sacrosanct."

Kaiji nodded. "I understand." He took off his jacket and removed the bazooka. "Anything for you, love of my life."

Yoichi smiled. "Thank you. Keeping up the lie is for our protection, too. My brother knows he can't vault me long enough for me to miss more one family dinner, or my mother would get worried. And she'd look to Hisashi for answers first, too. She still remembers how he used to lock me up in the closet as a kid. I take you to these dinners to protect you, because my brother knows if he ever killed you, he'd have to explain to Mom and Dad why you didn't show up next family dinner."

Kaiji chuckled. "Be honest, you bring me along because I drive your brother crazy."

"That, too." Yoichi swept up his hero into a long, passionate kiss. Which only made them further late.

Standing on the doorstep to his family home, Yoichi checked the watch on his wrist. It had a secret tracker that would send a signal to their friend Sanzou about their location. He wasn't expecting kidnapping attempts, but he always took precautions. Then he examined his hair in a compact mirror one last time.

"Your hair looks perfect," Kaiji said, then rang the doorbell.

Mom greeted them with a huge smile and a big, warm hug. "Yoichi, so good to see you. You're barely in time, I took the udon off the stove a minute ago." She ushered them inside. "Kaiji, I'm glad you could make it." She gave Kaiji a shorter hug.

Dad shook Kaiji's hand, then hugged Yoichi. "You look well. Oh, but you're wearing ragged clothing again."

"They're sweatpants, Dad." Yoichi sighed. "They're comfortable. You should try them."

His father harumphed. "Your brother wore a suit."

Mom grabbed the bottom of Yoichi's shirt. "My baby, your shirt has a hole in it. You should throw it out. I'll buy you a new one."

Yoichi tugged away from her, protesting, "You can barely see that. This is my favorite nice shirt. It looks just like Captain Hero's civilian outfit."

Giving up the battle (for now), Mom gestured toward the dining room. "Come, your brother is already sitting at the table and no doubt stealing a dinner roll early."

Kaiji muttered sarcastically, "All for One, stealing? No!"

It was quiet enough only Yoichi heard. He giggled behind his hand.

Sure enough, Hisashi sat in his usual seat at the round table. Their grandmother sat next to him. Emi Shigaraki, their father's mother, had deep wrinkles and walked with a cane. She had a fine head of white hair firmly planted to her head and so flowing that Yoichi had clearly gotten his beautiful hair from her side of the family. She'd moved in with his parents after her husband died, which had turned out to be a good thing because her dementia had started not long after.

Peering up as they entered, Grandma Emi blinked. "Oh, the boys are here! Hisashi and Yoichi!"

"I'm Hisashi, Grandma," Hisashi said. "Yoichi invited the spiky-haired one." As always, Hisashi's nose wrinkled when he spoke of Kaiji, and he avoided using the term boyfriend.

"Hisashi?" Grandma Emi turned to look at her oldest grandson as if noticing him for the first time. "Of course you're Hisashi, you have my beautiful hair." She tucked back a stray lock behind his ear.

"I inherited it from you." Hisashi smiled lovingly, placing his hand on top of hers. Hisashi was always so gentle with their grandmother and understanding of her illness. It twisted Yoichi's heart and made him believe that his brother must still have good in him and be redeemable. Then Yoichi remembered that Hisashi treated everyone outside his family like insects.

Grandma Emi blinked, one of her eyes sagging. "That's right. My entire family has good hair."

"Not me, Mom. I shaved it off." Dad spoke cheerfully as he sat down.

Grandma Emi whacked his chair with her cane, making it rattle. "Why did you do that? Your perfect hair won prizes in magazines!"

"You're getting me confused with Yoichi," Dad said. "My hair started falling out before I even made it to thirty."

Yoichi shuddered. He'd spent years fearing the same fate before he read male pattern baldness was passed down by the mother.

The dinner spread across the table was an eclectic mix of cultures—Japanese udon noodles, French dinner rolls, green beans, and fruit salad. Mayu Shigaraki had lived abroad in her youth and picked up many different types of cooking.

Mom spooned udon into each bowl. "It's wonderful to have the whole family here. Hisashi, I'm glad you could make it even though you're busy with your entertainment business. My son, running a company at such a young age! What an accomplishment!" She repeated that every family dinner.

Every time, Hisashi beamed at the praise. "I owe it all to my good upbringing. Or at least part of it." He blew on his spoon of udon, then took a sip. His gaze became rapturous. "Perfect as always, Mom."

Some days, Yoichi suspected his brother kept his crimes secret from their parents more to maintain his access to Mom's kitchen than to protect their parents' happiness. But if the brothers agreed on one thing, it would be that nothing had the same flavor as Mom's home cooking. Yoichi took a sip of pork udon, savoring the ginger.

Hisashi said, "Speaking of which, I just opened a new business office in Osaka." He paused while his parents leapt to congratulate him, basking in their praise.

Yoichi gritted his teeth. He knew full well that his brother did not have an entertainment business. He had a shell company that existed for the sole purpose of obtaining the rights to Captain Hero and remaking the show so the Demon King won. Thus far Yoichi and his vigilante comrades had been blocking this with some creative sabotage and stolen paperwork. It was possible the vigilantes believed they were working toward a higher purpose than an old brotherly quarrel, but Yoichi comforted himself that he'd never directly lied to them. He'd truthfully told them how important this was to All for One.

Although it was irritating to listen to his parents fawn over All for One, Yoichi knew it was necessary. Hisashi only behaved during family dinners because he could not bear to lose their parents' approval and his status as the golden child.

To his left, Kaiji paid close attention to his food. That might have been partly to avoid listening to people sing All for One's praises, but also because the food was that good.

Hisashi continued, "I've been doing so well, I transferred another hundred million yen to your bank account."

Mom gasped. "Oh, my dear boy, there's no need. We're already comfortable financially. You should use those funds to expand your company."

Dad laughed helplessly. "Whatever would we do with so much money? We already have everything we need."

Smugly, Hisashi said, "I made my money with the purpose of looking after my family. You should buy a new vacation home or two."

"How about donating some of those millions to charity?" Yoichi grumbled. "Didn't Mom and Dad raise you with good values, Hisashi?"

"Yoichi Shigaraki!" Dad barked. "We value traditional Japanese manners in this household. That means you address Hisashi as 'big brother' while under this roof. Understood?"

"Yes, Dad," Yoichi mumbled, hanging his head. He'd made a tactical error. "Sorry, big brother." The words burned on his tongue, but he needed to regroup and humble himself to have any chance of success. Last family dinner, he'd forced his brother into a giant donation to an animal shelter.

Hisashi glowed with pleasure. "Forgiven, my dear baby brother." Then he had the nerve to ruffle Yoichi's hair.

Dad wasn't done expressing his annoyance yet. "Have you made any progress toward getting a job?"

Yoichi gripped his spoon tighter. "Dad, I told you, I'm working with Kaiji to keep this city safe." Being a vigilante meant working more than forty hours a week. They lived off what they stole from criminals.

"Ah, your volunteer thing." Dad barely raised his eyebrow, yet conveyed a universe of scorn. "I mean a proper job working for a proper company, like your brother. You need a career, stability, and a future pension. Are you planning to leach off your brother in your old age?"

"Excuse me?" Yoichi's eyes flashed with anger. He leaned forward. "I've never taken a single yen of H—big brother's money. Or yours. So it's none of your business."

Hisashi purred, "Yes, little brother, why don't you get a proper job? My company has plenty of openings—"

"Pass," Yoichi growled.

Mom chimed in: "Really, Yoichi, you should take your brother's offer. Family should help each other. No other company would let you start in a high-ranking position. Now, I'd also be happy to see you become a homemaker like me, but since your boyfriend doesn't have a job either, surely someone in the house needs to work. I hate to think of you surviving on ramen noodles. Is that why you're so thin? You should eat more." She spooned more udon into his bowl.

Hisashi smirked. "Of course I'd have a high-paying position available for my own brother. He needs the money, since he's supporting an unemployed boyfriend and numerous lazy friends."

"Don't be rude." Grandma Emi whacked Hisashi's chair with her cane. "Kaiji is a good boy." She might have sounded more convincing if she'd been looking directly at Kaiji instead of staring off into nothing. "I like him. He looks after Yoichi and loves Yoichi. He's a hero."

"Thank you, Mrs. Shigaraki." Kaiji turned a smile on Emi, the only person in the family who never harped on his employment status and eligibility as a partner to Yoichi. She'd adored Kaiji from the moment she'd laid eyes on him, even though these days she struggled to remember his name.

Yoichi and Hisashi exchanged confused and irritated glances, Yoichi conveying with his eyes that he had no idea where his grandmother had gotten the hero thing into her head. It was possible she'd overheard Yoichi's pet name. Or maybe she knew a little more than she let on. It didn't matter—no one would believe her. Not with her dementia. She was past the state of caring herself, either.

Fortunately, Yoichi knew just how to provide a distraction and put the heat on his older brother instead. Innocently, he asked, "Big brother, when will you be bringing home your own significant other?"

Mom turned on Hisashi like a bloodhound catching a scent—the scent of potential grandchildren. "Yes, Hisashi, when will you find a partner? You'd be an amazing catch. I want to see you happy." Though she did not mention grandchildren, her eyes gleamed with an intensity that betrayed her true intentions.

Hisashi's face took on a hunted look that criminals across the underworld would have been flabbergasted to see. "Mom, you know I've been busy at work."

Their mother persisted, "Work is important, but you shouldn't neglect your personal life."

Dad joined the attack. "We could introduce you to our friends' children."

Being a good actor, Hisashi's horror only flashed across his face for a moment. But Yoichi saw it, and knew why. As soon as their children had been born with white hair, the Shigaraki parents had immediately gotten heavily involved in metahuman rights activism. Their friends were mostly fellow civil rights activists—in other words, heroic types. The exact type Hisashi couldn't stand and couldn't explain why.

Just to twist the knife, Yoichi lied, "Kaiji and I also have friends we could set up with my brother. Sanzou thinks you're hot—my friend with the blue hair, you met him when you first met Kaiji. Didn't you two get along wonderfully?"

Jerking his head around, Kaiji looked at Yoichi as if he'd gone crazy. His mouth opened. Yoichi elbowed his boyfriend into silence. This was an important tactical moment, and they needed to present a united front. Yoichi knew Sanzou would kill him if he got set up on a blind date with All for One. But he also knew that his brother would never call his bluff.

Sure enough, Hisashi's face turned red with fury. His mask slipping, he snarled, "I'd rather kill the brother thief and his friend than—"

"Hisashi Shigaraki!" Dad barked. "You're not to refer to your brother's boyfriend in such a disrespectful manner. I raised you better than that."

The Shigaraki household had a strict family hierarchy—which Yoichi partly blamed for his older brother's bossiness. However, at times it worked in Yoichi's favor. Although the parents could harp on Kaiji's employment status, Hisashi was not allowed to be rude to a guest.

Hisashi hung his head. Yoichi suspected it was not shame at disappointing his parents so much as his competitiveness over his favored son status. For as long as Yoichi could remember, his older brother had been obsessed with being considered the best in their parents' eyes. This had entailed a lot of manipulation and Hisashi blaming his childhood crimes on Yoichi.

"Sorry," Hisashi mumbled. He did not look up from his plate. But he definitely heard Kaiji's snicker. His shoulders hunched.

Yoichi wished he could take a picture of his brother bending to their parents like an errant child and share it around the underworld. He'd be tempted, except he and Hisashi were united in not wanting to let any of Hisashi's enemies find out he had a family he cared about.

Going for the kill, Yoichi said, "Big brother thinks he's better than me. He's too good to even give one of my friends a chance." He wiped an imaginary tear from his eye. Two could play at the emotional manipulation game. "I know he's more wealthy and successful than me, so I guess he's right. I'm the family failure."

"Oh, Yoichi." Mom put an arm around Yoichi's shoulder. "I'm sorry, I've been nagging too much. You're chasing your dreams, and we should be proud of you. Hisashi had no call to be so rude when you were only trying to help."

Yoichi sniffled. "The only way big brother could possibly make it up to me would be if he goes on a date with my friend Sanzou." Kaiji choked, his eyes asking what the hell Yoichi was doing. Yoichi winked in return.

In a mad panic, Hisashi blurted out, "I'm seeing someone. Who I met through work. I didn't want to mention anything until it was serious."

Mom gasped. "Such wonderful news! Please, invite your significant other to meet us as soon as possible." Impulsively, she got up and hugged her son.

Gaping in horror, Kaiji whispered, "That poor lost soul…"

But Yoichi knew better than to believe this nonsense. Behind his mother's back, he mouthed at his brother: Are you planning to order one of your employees to pretend to be your date? For shame, All for One.

Hisashi's cheeks pinked. He mouthed back, For your information, many people adore me.

Yup, big brother was definitely planning to bring an employee as a fake date. Probably that fanatical bodyguard of his, one of the few people trusted to know that All for One had a family and stand guard over them. Yoichi covered a snicker behind his napkin. Next family dinner would be a glorious disaster, and he wouldn't miss it for all the world.

"Such wonderful news." Dad patted Hisashi's back, his eyes misty. "Just look at you, grownup with a successful career and making bonds outside your family. You've come such a long way since you used to lock your little brother up in the closet."

Yoichi muttered, "Yeah, he's upgraded his prisons."

Hisashi chuckled. "Oh please, little brother, my guest room isn't a prison. Don't be so dramatic. You could stand to visit me more often."

Sure, the guest room wasn't a prison—just a luxurious room with no doorknobs. The handprint scanner to get in and out had "malfunctioned" last time Yoichi visited. And there had been a trap door to dump Yoichi into a bank vault with a demon king cushion inside. "Next time, I want to room with Mom and Dad," Yoichi mumbled.

"Always so attached to your parents, even at your age, my baby." Mom laughed.

After dinner, Kaiji immediately volunteered to help with the dishes, which won him brownie points with Mom, though she refused and shooed him out of the kitchen. Grandma Emi stayed in her chair, working on a crossword puzzle in the newspaper. Lately she'd gotten obsessed with those even as she found them increasingly difficult. When she was in the middle of one, she got childishly bad-tempered if anyone interrupted her.

In the living room, Dad called, "Look what I found." He held up the DVD of the first season of Captain Hero. "I thought this had gotten lost. But yesterday, I found it under a couch cushion. Who knows how many years it was there?"

Yoichi laughed. "Gosh, that brings back memories." Good times, watching with his older brother after school and snacking on chips and carrot sticks. "Maybe we should watch an episode, for old times' sake." An evil idea occurred to him. "What if we watch the last episode? Big brother never saw—"

Hisashi interrupted, "We'll watch the first episode, of course. It would be rude to the thi—Kaiji to drop him in the middle when he's never seen the show." Somehow he said this with a straight face. Before his little brother could argue, he took the DVD and put it in.

Since he'd wanted to watch the show and mostly won, Yoichi went to sit on the couch, pulling Kaiji with him. "You're in for a treat," he told his boyfriend. "Captain Hero is the greatest superhero show of all time." In fact, Yoichi had tried to get all the vigilantes to watch it but everyone just seemed too busy.

Hisashi sat down on Yoichi's other side before anyone could stop him, putting an arm around his younger brother. With Dad watching from the armchair, Yoichi could only squirm as the theme song played. Kaiji pinched Hisashi's arm. Hisashi used an ability to electrify part of his skin, making Kaiji yelp.

On screen, Captain Hero started giving a speech about his extremely tragic backstory involving five adopted families in succession all dying.

Kaiji chuckled. "Oh, I get it. This show is a parody of the superhero genre. That explains so much."

"No, it's not," Yoichi protested. "It's completely serious."

Hisashi insisted, "It's a masterpiece of the genre." Yoichi winced at agreeing with his brother about something. But even so, he had to defend his beloved Captain Hero.

As the show continued, Yoichi had to admit the graphics were more low budget than he'd remembered. There did seem to be a lot of jokes about accidental property damage caused by heroes, comical misunderstandings where Captain Hero mistook people going about their ordinary lives as in need of rescue, and capes getting caught in doors. As a very young child, the jokes had gone over Yoichi's head. He'd been convinced Captain Hero might actually die that time his cape got stuck in a train door. But even so, the show still had a really deep plot. It just probably didn't show up in episode one. Yeah, that must be it!

Kaiji pointed at the shark-crocodile hybrids frolicking in a pit on the TV screen. "So you're telling me the Demon King's plan to feed all the widows and orphans in the city to his sharkodiles is dead serious?"

"The Demon King is a terrifying villain," Hisashi snapped. "He explained five minutes ago that orphans have the best flavor. Keep up." In the show, the Demon King tripped and fell into his own sharkodile pit. Hisashi winced. "I have to admit, I remember him being more intimidating—and he will be in my remake!"

Dad looked between them. "Boys, Captain Hero is a superhero parody. You know this."

"It's a very serious and heart-rending show," Yoichi cried.

Hisashi crossed his arms. "The Demon King is an inspiration and it would be totally reasonable for someone to decide to become a villain in order to be like him."

Dad chuckled. "You two are so much alike sometimes."

"Take that back!" both brothers shouted together.

The rest of the episode was mostly blocked out by the argument, which allowed Yoichi to remain in denial about the show's increasing ridiculousness. Clearly some things were better left in memory.

At least Kaiji seemed to be having a great time watching the Demon King nearly kill himself in increasingly comical ways. "If I'd known this kid's show was so funny, I wouldn't have made up excuses not to watch it for years," Kaiji said. "Hey, the Demon King's costume does look a lot like—" Yoichi stepped on his boyfriend's foot "—a certain someone's."

After the episode was over, Yoichi hugged his grandmother, then his parents. "Thank you for having us. I'd better go, I don't like to take the train too late at night."

This was a grave strategic mistake. Hisashi's teeth barred in a smile. "Little brother, I could drive you home."

Yoichi's eye twitched. "I couldn't possibly put you out of your way."

Hisashi grinned wider, resembling a sharkodile. "It's no trouble at all. An older brother has to look after the younger one. After all, I have a car and you don't. Mom, tell Yoichi not to be proud and unwilling to accept help."

Their mother said, "I do hate to think of you walking home from the train station this late at night…"

Yoichi said brightly, "Mom, I just remembered you offered to give me some of your old pots and kitchen towels. I forgot to take them last time. Can I still have them?"

"Of course." Mom immediately went to the kitchen, rummaging around. "We'd better give you a ride to transport all of this back. I'd like to see how it looks in your kitchen. Naruhito, could you come along to help me carry the items?"

"Of course, dear," Dad said. "Hisashi, please look after Grandma Emi until we return. You know she's prone to wandering out of the house if left alone."

Hisashi mouthed, You outplayed me this round, but I'll get you next time.

Yoichi mouthed back, The vault gave me time to plan, big brother. He hadn't forgotten the kitchen stuff last time—he always left himself an escape route from family dinners.

Before leaving, under his parents' eyes, Yoichi was forced to accept a hug from his brother. Kaiji and Hisashi shook hands. Hisashi tried to stab Kaiji with a needle in his ring. Kaiji twisted the ring away from him and stepped on Hisashi's foot. It had probably not been poison. Not fatal poison, anyway. The family dinner truce still held, but Hisashi would have thought it funny to send Kaiji into a panic over nothing. Or at least that had been the case the last five times Hisashi had used his poison ring.

Leaning close, Hisashi whispered, "One of these days my brother will tire of you, then without my parents watching, I'll get rid of you."

Kaiji whispered back, "Your grandmother promised her old wedding rings to whichever of her grandsons got married first. Since you're undateable, I guess that's us. She already let me take them to the jeweler to get resized."

Hisashi attempted to strangle Kaiji while disguising it as a hug.

Touching her hand to her face, Mom giggled. "You two have gotten so close, even though you didn't like each much when you first met. Kaiji really feels like part of the family."

In the kitchen, Hisashi chopped the DVD of Captain Hero's last season in half, then threw it in the trash. He carefully buried the evidence of his crime under the other garbage, then washed his hands. If he didn't do this, then he knew his foolish little brother would force him to watch the end to Captain Hero next family dinner. It was a necessity to anticipate his brother's strategy in their game of wits. For example, Hisashi had also been attacking the brother thief with non-poisoned needles for months just so he'd let his guard down when the time truly came to strike.

Hisashi would obtain the rights to Captain Hero even if he had to become shadow-emperor of Japan. After he remade the show, the Demon King would finally be as terrifying as he remembered and he'd force his little brother to watch the new ending.

Overall, Hisashi had decided to declare this dinner a victory because he always won. It was always fun to hear Yoichi call him "big brother" out of terror of parental disapproval. If only he could tape-record it and show it to all his little brother's hero friends. But the loose end of being forced to bring a date to the next dinner was…troublesome. Hisashi had seriously considered bringing his bodyguard, but his little brother had come up with the idea first and would mock him for doing it. What if he brought a new villain with him every dinner, killed them, then claimed they broke up? No, then Yoichi would mock him for not being able to get more than one date with the same person.

Hisashi sighed. Was it his fault no one was good enough for him? That was the only reason he'd missed out on inheriting the family wedding rings first. Just thinking about the brother thief's smug smirk made Hisashi kick the trashcan.

A fist pounded on the door. Annoying, because they had a doorbell and it sounded like someone was trying to break in. Strange, because who would be calling at this late hour? Hisashi righted the trashcan (fortunately it had a lid) and headed to answer the door.

Grandma Emi stood on the doorstep, sandwiched by a dark-haired man and woman who looked so similar, they must be siblings. Hisashi felt a brief spurt of panic, realizing his grandmother had wandered off when he'd been supposed to look after her. His parents would be disappointed and he'd lose to Yoichi. Then Hisashi remembered it was all Yoichi's fault for making him so angry that he'd failed to pay attention, and his parents never needed to find out.

Hisashi ushered his wide-eyed grandmother into the house. "Thank you for finding her," he said distantly. Were these two neighbors? He didn't remember people's faces, so it was quite possible. He reached for his wallet, planning to give these two a reward, aka hush-up money to never mention this to his parents.

"We didn't come here to escort your senile old granny home." Sneering, the woman forced her way into the house. "This hag bumped into my brother on the street."

"Ow! Ow!" The man gripped his shoulder as he uttered obviously fake cries of pain. He also seemed to be hopping on one foot, at least until his balance slipped and he gave up on pretending to have an injury there.

The woman said, "I'm Eitoku Nakanishi, and this is my brother Yoshimune. You may have heard of us—we're infamous. We work for the legendary All for One, so you'd better not cross us."

There had been many things Hisashi had been about to say, but they died on his tongue. He gaped, trying to remember if he'd ever employed these two siblings. The minions came and went. He couldn't possibly be expected to recognize all of their faces. It would be rather embarrassing if such pathetic wastes worked for him.

Yoshimune poked Hisashi's shoulder aggressively. "Just look at your red eyes and white hair. You can't afford to call the police, can you? Not as someone who looks metahuman. I hope you have a lot of cash in your house, because if not, we'll take whatever we want."

Hisashi looked down at the offending finger, longing to rip it off. But his grandmother was watching.

Grandma Emi tugged on Hisashi's sleeve. Her eyes had filled with tears. In a trembling voice, she said, "I-I don't remember bumping into him. But I forget a lot." Her hand shook. "I-I'm sorry."

She looked so small and frail. Hisashi remembered his grandmother as being large, when he'd sat in her lap reading stories or crept onto the counter to steal cookie dough while she made her excellent cookies. In his childhood memories, she'd had a giant laugh and hair that frizzed everywhere. She'd been one of the few people who had loved him unconditionally as he'd craved to be loved. Only his family had ever provided that feeling. A deep protectiveness rose up inside him, an angry dragon whose home had been invaded and his hoard threatened.

"Of course you didn't bump into him, Granny," Hisashi said. What a ridiculously obvious scam. "Don't worry, I'll take care of this."

"Huuuuuuuuuh? That mean old hag assaulted me! Like this!" Yoshimune tried to shove Grandma Emi. Hisashi jumped between them, taking the blow. It bounced off his back. Though Hisashi's body shielded her view, Grandma Emi gave a frightened gasp.

"There's no need to be afraid," Hisashi said, unconsciously echoing the same words his grandmother used to say when checking his closet for demons at night. (She'd misunderstood that he wanted to find demons there, but it was the thought that counted.) Gently, he picked her up. When had she gotten so light, barely heavier than a sack of flour? She felt cold too, from running around outside without a coat. He needed to find an excuse to take her to a doctor he trusted. A regular doctor wasn't good enough for his family. "I'll take you to your bedroom, then get rid of them."

As Hisashi carried away his grandmother, Eitoku shouted, "Yeah, you'd better run away, weakling."

Hisashi set his grandmother down on her bed, then found her I-pod on the end table. He blew on her icy hands to warm them up, using the barest hint of one of his powers. "Here, Granny, why don't you listen to some music and work on another crossword puzzle?" He put her earphones in. "I'll protect you."

"You're a good boy," Grandma Emi muttered, her eyes misfocussed. "Do you want a cookie? Where's my cookie jar?" She groped around thin air, settling for patting his head.

"Don't take out your earphones until I return," he ordered, then picked a loud song. It didn't matter too much if she heard. No one would believe her, just like no one had listened to her after Hisashi had accidentally let Kaiji's heroic profession slip around her. But he refused to let two imbeciles cause his dear grandmother any more upset.

Rising, Hisashi departed. He closed the door behind him, sealing it shut with a metapower. The effects would wear off in half an hour, before his parents got home. That would be all the time he needed.

In the living room, Yoshimune and Eitoku Nakanishi were shoving his mother's favorite vase into a sack. Yet another item he needed to put back, how irritating. How dare these two insects come here, to his family home, and bring the darkness of the underworld into his normal family life? They would pay for such insolence.

"I remember you two now," Hisashi said. "A pair of small-time criminals who interviewed with my organization, but didn't make the cut. You should be honored. It takes a lot of anger to make me remember a face." Red light gathered around him, crackling down his arms. His shadow writhed. The air around him became heavy. The darkness crept from his feet to form a box around the room, a prison. He waited, languid as a panther up a tree, watching his prey playing haplessly below.

"Your…organization…?" Yoshimune gaped.

Eitoku grabbed his brother's arm. "White hair, red eyes, multiple powers—All for One!"

Hisashi smiled jaggedly. "I don't leave corpses at my parents' home. And I don't let people who find out about them live, so I'll have to chop you into portable pieces. Fortunately, I have a power for that."

Screams echoed through the night, muffled by the barrier around the room. Not a drop of blood hit the carpet. That carpet was a family heirloom, after all.

OMAKE TIME!

Omake: Yoichi's Woes

Dad: Why can't you be more like your older brother?

Yoichi: You really do not know what you're asking. Aargh, if only I could tell you!

Mom: Nonsense, Yoichi has what really matters—a long-term partner. Not to intrude, my dear son, but I happened to pick up these pamphlets yesterday about adoption. There are abandoned metahuman children who need good homes. It wouldn't be very heroic to turn them away.

Yoichi: I finally understand which parent my brother got his evil from.

#

Omake: Filial Piety

Hisashi: I'm a dutiful son. One might even call me the best son ever. Way better than my irresponsible little brother.

Yoichi: Why does no one else see how insufferable he is?

Mom: That's just normal sibling dynamics.

Yoichi: It's really not. A bank vault got involved.

#

Omake: A Hero's Downfall

Sanzou: You tried to set me up on a date with All for One?!

Yoichi: Stop throwing knives at me! I can explain. I knew he'd never actually agree. Put the knife down. You wouldn't seriously kill me.

Sanzou: I'm going to give you a crewcut.

Yoichi: AHHHHHHHHHH not the hair!

#

Omake: The Vault's Early Ending

Mom: Hisashi, what is your younger brother doing inside a bank vault?

Hisashi: Uhhhhhhhhh, would you believe he tried to steal my Demon King merchandise and locked himself inside?

Yoichi: Hey! I'd never want that garbage!

Hisashi: Maybe you wanted to ransom it for Captain Hero merch you couldn't afford on your own. Or burn it.

Yoichi: Would I really do that?

Mom: Hmmm…

Yoichi: Hey!

Mom: I don't care who started it, you're both in the doghouse if you don't stop your arguing and make it to the next family dinner on time.

Hisashi & Yoichi: Yes, Mom.

#

Omake: The Time-Honored Younger Sibling Tactic, Tattling

Hisashi: I'm going to kill that spiky-haired brother thief.

Yoichi: MOM! Big brother is threatening my boyfriend, and by extension your chances at grandchildren.

Hisashi: …If only you'd be this evil toward anyone else, I'd be proud.

#

Omake: The "Friends to Lovers" Option

Hisashi: This is my bodyguard—I mean, my boyfriend, Gigantomachia.

Gigantomachia: It's an honor to meet the master's progenitors.

Mom: Master? Is this a BDSM thing?

Hisashi: Gigantomachia, you moron.

Mom: I'm hip with the times, I completely understand. It's just like that Fifty Shades of Grey novel I quite enjoyed.

Hisashi: Kill me now.

Kaiji: That can be arranged!

#

Omake: The "Bring a New Villain and Kill Them Every Time" Option

Hisashi: Then we broke up because my previous date got transferred to new job overseas. No one's fault, and certainly not mine.

Yoichi: I've figured out what's going on here.

Hisashi: Crap.

Yoichi: You're so insufferable that everyone you date flees the country to avoid you.

#

Omake: The Romcom Option

Hisashi: I need a fake date to bring to my family dinner, preferably someone my mom will like so much that she stops trying to set me up. I will give you a million yen to pretend to date me for one night.

Inko: Who are you and how did you get into my timeline? I don't think I'm supposed to be born for another century.

#

Omake: FYI Kaiji is Scared of Cats

Mom: Kaiji's birthday is next week. Everyone in the family needs to bring a present. Hisashi, if you forget like last year then you'll be banned from eating my homemade cake.

Hisashi: Oh, don't worry, I found the perfect gift to express my feelings for my future brother-in-law.

Kaiji: Is this present making noise? Did you get me an animated severed body part? AHHHH it's a cat, that's so much worse!

Yoichi: I should kill you, big brother, but…aw! Look at those adorable claws sinking into my boyfriend's arm! Here kitty kitty…

Hisashi: Good luck getting rid of the cat now my brother got attached.

#

Omake: The One Thing the Brothers Agree On

Kaiji: Your brother killed two people at the end of this fic, should we investigate?

Yoichi: Nope! If anyone harms my grandmother, even I won't save them.

Author's Note: An imaginary cookie for anyone who remembers the Nakanishi siblings from my previous fics. They died as they lived, stupidly.

Young Hisashi was redeemed by a better childhood in my fic Forgiveness is the Attribute of the Strong, but I put that down to A+ parenting from All Might as well as the very important shock of meeting his older self and realizing he didn't want to turn out like that loser. The Shigaraki parents were solid B grade parents. They loved their children and provided for them. But Hisashi always knew his parents would not be able to accept the darker aspects of himself so he learned to hide it rather than getting therapy to help overcome it. The stressors of growing up in a world where people hated metahumans also affected him, and his parents had no control over that part. The Shigaraki parents would have been able to raise most children into decent human beings but Hisashi was beyond their abilities. This Hisashi did become a bit less protective of his younger brother because he was never parentified. Instead he spent a lot of his childhood competing with his younger brother because he always had to be number one in their parents' eyes. Hisashi is still a platonic yandere. He's just not quite as desperate for Yoichi to love only him because he's getting love and attention from more sources. Thus he can manage to have a family dinner with his brother's boyfriend without completely snapping. Ironically this made Hisashi more effective at villainy since he's not wasting all his time chasing his little brother around.

Also, I'm hosting a fanfic writing/art contest called Three Weeks of Trioholders. Check out the details on my tumblr:
tumblr.
com/
aimportantdragoncollector/730535703013900288/event-announcement

Edited to add: Also, Chaosverse drew art of poor Third stuck on a blind date with All for One:
tumblr.
com/
chaosverse-mainblog/731704520836530176/the-face-you-make-when-you-get-set-up-on-a-date