Chapter 26: Loyalty and Wit
When we returned to camp, there was an air of animosity towards Yellowfang. Despite the return of the missing kits, the clan didn't see Yellowfang's return as fortuitous.
"What's she doing here? She stole those kits in the first place." Hissed Longtail.
I stepped forward to reply. "Even if that was true, we can't afford to let her go. Unless you haven't noticed, we are currently without a medicine cat, and Lionheart isn't going to last very long without one, despite all Spottedleaf did. In hunger, one would do well to eat the scrawny mouse."
The phrase was a rarely used one among rogues. It was usually to chide a fussy kit, but reapplying it here felt necessary. Longtail's hackles raised at the chastisement, but he couldn't refute my logic. It was Darkstripe who calmed his former apprentice.
"He's right. I dislike her as much as you, but we don't have any other options. The last time Thunderclan went without a medicine cat, we got Goosefeather, and that cat was driven mad to accommodate." He mewed flicking a glance to Bluestar who shuddered at the memory.
Whitestorm took the field next to air his thoughts. "Yellowfang is a friend. She helped us with the rescue of the kits. In fact, the four apprentices who participated also went above and beyond the call of duty."
'Oh no.' I thought. This was far too early. I hadn't made my way through working with the many adults of the clan for training. I didn't have the connections I wanted yet. If I was made a warrior early, I'd get respect, but at the same time, I'd lose freedom of movement. I couldn't refuse the elevation of position, but it would hamper my progress on establishing connections. I was still relatively low skilled in comparison to my peers. Recognizing the look in Bluestar's eyes, I resigned myself to my fate.
"Is that so? Very well. Graypaw, Ravenpaw, Smudgepaw, Firepaw. Step forward."
I drew myself into the lineup concealing my lack of enthusiasm for what was to come. Graypaw and Firepaw were both faintly jittering in excitement while Ravenpaw looked stonelike. This was a release from Tigerclaw's watchful eye, but it also meant he was more disposable in Tigerclaw's eyes.
"I, Bluestar, leader of Thunderclan, call upon my warrior ancestors to look down on these apprentices. They have trained hard to understand the ways of your noble code, and I commend them to you as warriors in their turn.
Graypaw, Ravenpaw, Smudgepaw, and Firepaw, do you promise to uphold the warrior code and to protect and defend your Clan, even at the cost of your life?"
"I do." We all replied firmly.
"Graypaw, your name will now become Graystripe in honor of your drive and kindness. Ravenpaw, your name will now become Ravenfeather in honor of your agility and gentleness. Smudgepaw, your name will now become Smudgefoot in honor of your wit and loyalty. Finally, Firepaw, your name will now become Fireheart in honor of your bravery and kindness." She recited ritualistically.
I heard the clan chanting our names, Ravenfeather and Graystripe a bit louder than Fireheart's and mine, but I could make out Darkstripe and Tigerclaw still chanting my name. I felt something deep within myself, something I'd forgotten a long time ago, back when I first received the name Smudge. Was it… pride? Somehow this clan full of strangers and potential assets didn't seem so disposable. I think I felt something for it as a whole. This dynamic of a group who protects one another felt… more important. Whereas before I felt them as just a means to protect what I wanted, I now felt that the group as a whole might be worth my protection. I still had my priorities, but now what I felt worth protecting wasn't so cut and dry.
I noticed Bluestar had finished speaking to Fireheart, likely giving her own congratulations, before she approached me. "Congrats Smudgefoot. You've truly earned your name for your cleverness and unshakable loyalty. Loyalty I hope you'll direct towards me in the future. Now that you're a warrior, I want you to familiarize yourself with Whitestorm and Lionheart. I sincerely hope you do. It's been far too long since I've had a good cat to scheme with. I know you and Fireheart will make waves in your future." She mewed cryptically.
I don't know how Bluestar always rubs me the wrong way. She makes me feel like I'm missing something exceedingly obvious. I feel like a child, er kit, when she does that. What scheme am I missing? How does she lead me by the nose so easily? I'd have time to ruminate on it through the long vigil that was to come. Speaking of cats on vigil, I thought it was time to have another chat with Ravenfeather.
The vigil hadn't quite begun, so I sidled up to Ravenfeather who was receiving his own congratulations from his brother and a few queens.
"Smudgefoot! I didn't expect you to come see me so quickly. I mean, I'm not so useful to getting close to Tigerclaw anymore." He mewed, both embarrassed and resigned.
"Ravenfeather, I don't need the motivation of Tigerclaw to approach you. Your one of my only friends. You let me speak my mind and don't cower from it. It's not how could I possibly approach you, it's how could I possibly bring myself to avoid you. You're my confidant and ally." I mewed assertively.
Ravenpaw just ducked his head and shrunk a bit in embarrassment. He really thought I didn't need him anymore. I was kind of disappointed he thought I would. In actuality, I'm a bit of a hoarder. Things that are mine, I hold onto fiercely. Friends, tools, weapons, they all have a place with me. Back when I was a human, I meticulously cleaned my weapons and kept them in display cases. Each had their own stories. If something broke, I never discarded them. I'd repair them or retire them to a display case. A pang of guilt hit my heart remembering the fire that took my life. All my trophies and stories burned in that fire with me. In the end, my last life was blown away like ashes in the wind, forgotten. I'd failed them, the things and person I cared for. This time, I'd not make the same mistake.
Instead of considering Bluestar's puzzling behavior, my vigil was filled with the thoughts of what I was willing to do and how far I was willing to go. The answer was anything and anywhere. Fireheart and now Ravenfeather were my precious things. My eyes darted to the warriors den, knowing Tigerclaw was sleeping inside. If need be, I'd kill him in cold blood to protect my two most precious. The ice in my veins grew tantalizingly close at the thought, but Ravenfeather's sleek pelt pressed against mine melting the ice. I purred appreciatively, so he pressed himself closer. My own coat had grown out a bit after all the time here. It kept me and my confidant warm through that long cold vigil.