Mistake
Chapter 19
Mike walked into the same room and found Katie sitting at the same table. There was still food on the table but Katie wasn't eating. She was looking at a photo album instead. She looked healthier and there was good color on her cheeks.
"Ah, your baby book." Mike said as he sat down next to Katie. What was odd was that it was on a bench, not on a chair like it had been previously. It allowed him to be closer to Katie.
"Yeah." Katie said as she flipped the pages.
"You were such a tiny baby. I was terrified that I would drop you or hurt you somehow." Mike remarked.
"And in about fourteen years, you did when you choose the Navy over us." Katie said angrily.
"Katie, I couldn't have saved your mom or your brother. I know that. However, I could have saved you and that is why you're so angry." Mike said.
"No, I'm angry because you choose the Navy over us and Hannah and Billy were out there by themselves for so long. I didn't matter to you." Katie answered.
"You did though. If you hadn't mattered to me, why do these dreams bother me so much and why did your birthday hurt so much?" Mike asked.
"Guilt. I do wonder sometimes though, if it was Hannah that had died and I lived, would you be taking care of me like you are her and Billy?" Katie asked.
"Of course, I would." Mike answered.
"I wish I was so sure of that." Katie said. She flipped the page again and there was a photo of Mike holding her as a newborn. "Weird that a picture of Hannah is in my baby book." Katie remarked.
"That isn't Hannah. It's you. That was our apartment in Chicago. I would recognize those pea green kitchen cabinets anywhere." Mike answered.
"So, you say." Katie remarked.
"Katie, I am doing my best. I have retired and found a home for Hannah and Billy. Maddie is having a baby and I will raise that baby. We are building a family again. I am a full time parent now, something you always wanted me to be. What more can I do? I celebrated your birthday hoping it would make this better and you just seem angrier. I've told you that I love you and you don't believe it. I've told you that I would take care of you, and you don't believe it. I have proven that I will take care of Hannah and Billy and give them a home. I will take care of this baby too. As much as you want to find peace with your mom and brother, I want you to know and understand that I did and do love you. I regret what all happened between us and I would do anything I could to fix it. I want your forgiveness!" Mike demanded.
Mike set straight up and was instantly mad. He wanted to know Katie's response. Not wanting to wake Maddie up, he got out of bed, grabbed his book and reading glasses and walked into the living room. He was not expecting to find Billy sitting on the floor by the coffee table, drawing.
"Billy, you should be asleep. What are you doing?" Mike asked. He sat the book and reading glasses down before kneeling down next to Billy.
"Drawing." Billy answered in a bored tone. So like Katie's bored tone.
"At three am?" Mike asked. Billy just shrugged his shoulders and continued drawing. Then Mike noticed what Billy was drawing. Their new house, with figures that were apparently him, Maddie, Billy, Hannah and the new baby. That wasn't so weird but what was was that the new baby was dressed in a pink dress and there were three other figures in the upper corner, sort of like angels. "Who are they?" Mike asked, pointing at the corner.
"My mommy, Katie and Lucas. Who else would it be?" Billy retorted.
"They kind of look like them but you haven't see that many pictures of them." Mike remarked.
"No but sometimes I see them in my dreams." Billy answered.
"Together?" Mike asked.
"Well, yeah." Billy said before yawning.
"Let's get you back to bed, buddy." Mike answered. He stood up and picked Billy up, glad that the little boy didn't fuss. He carried him into his bedroom and tucked him in. He stayed in the bedroom until Billy fell back asleep. He kissed his head before leaving him.
Mike put the crayons away and rolled the picture up, not wanting Hannah to see it but wanting to show it to Maddie. He was completely confused by the drawing and what Billy had said. In his dreams, Katie was alone, angry and depressed. In Billy's; she was with Christine and Lucas. Two people Billy had never seen and he was still a baby when Katie died. The angels bore an unreal similarity.
Maybe he just wanted an explanation for the dreams and Katie's anger. Maybe he wanted peace as much as Katie did. Maybe a little boy's logic was the best answer. Mike just wasn't sure anymore. He was just so tired.