I'M SO SORRY I FORGOT TO KEEP POSTING ON FFNET OH MY GOD.

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CHAPTER FOUR

It was several days before Axel saw Roxas again, during which time he worked, and played his violin, and looked intently for a head of scruffy blond hair in the passing crowds. He also thought. He thought… a lot of a lot. He turned it all over in his mind again and again, struggling to understand the potential new reality being laid out before him. He tried to not think about the whole… reincarnated god thing too closely… but one thing he did start doing was experimenting.

On one sidewalk, he played a dirge so deeply melancholy that passers-by were wiping their cheeks or blinking away tears. They barely even looked at him as it happened; like he wasn't even there, just a blur of sorts in the background of their lives. He could – feel it. Like a single strand of the universal backstage had been exposed, and with careful, careful little plucks, Axel could cause… a ripple.

At another site, he played romantic music. He chose the spot specifically – it was later at night, near a restaurant with outdoor seating. The couples at the tables smiled at one another, touched more, tenderness radiating from every smitten look. He moved on pretty quickly from there. It had started to feel… wrong. Like he was interfering with things he wasn't supposed to be.

On another day, he positioned himself in a park near a playground, and played quick, merry jigs that had all the parents and kids on their feet, a sudden flurry of lively activity, games and laughter ringing out as far as the strains of Axel's violin would reach.

Everything settled back to normal as he lowered his bow and gazed out at the people whose everyday lives he had had a direct effect on. It was nuts. And it was so much more pronounced now than it had ever been in the past. Like, yeah, he was deliberately choosing certain music to set certain moods, but even so. He definitely would have noticed if people had been responding this acutely, this viscerally to his playing.

"It's because of me," a voice at his elbow said, and it was all Axel could do to not shriek like a little girl. He took a deep breath, swallowed it down, and turned to Roxas with the most pleasant smile he could muster.

"Could you please – please – stop doing that to me?" He quickly jabbed a finger at his too-inncocent expression. "And don't you dare say 'stop what'."

"I would never," Roxas said with a grin that told Axel those had been going to be his precise next words. Instead, he clicked his tongue with disappointment. "You're really going to make me give up my fun? You're by far the most interesting one."

"Yeah, well, you're just going to have to… get…" Axel ran out of words, before faintly asking, "Did you read my mind just now?"

Roxas held up his finger and thumb just a pinch apart. "About this much. It's part of the messenger deal, I guess a throwback from when gods communicated telepathically, like through mediums or shamans or whatever? And it's not mind reading exactly, more like being able to read a person's general… flow?" He shook his head with some resignation. "Sorry. That was a lot of nothing, huh."

Axel, meanwhile, had been staring ever since Roxas held up his hand. Eyes like saucers. Roxas paused, blinking at him, a slow smile creeping across his face as Axel started turning increasingly pink.

Eventually, Roxas continued, "Well, like I said, it's only the general… flow of a person I can interpret. So when I looked at you just now, before you knew I was there, I could tell you were sort of wondering 'why now?'"

The first noise that Axel made was a strangled squeak, but he hurriedly cleared his throat and in a deeper tone than usual, he managed to state, "Yes. That is what I was. Wondering. At the time."

"And so what I'm telling you is, it was me," Roxas answered, with a smile and a tilt of the head. "I woke you up. The gods can't recognise each other on sight in the mortal world. Which," he sighed he sighed a little, hands dug into his pockets and the autumn breeze making his hair sway, "was supposed to be the point. A rebirth. A new start. A sort of… gentle way to die, for a god. Just continuing to reincarnate until the essence eventually fades."

Axel closed his eyes for a moment, gripping his violin to remind himself of where he was, what he was doing. So his entire existence was just a step into the grave for a being that had helped shape the universe. Okay, then. That was cool. Coooooool. And normal. A totally cool, and normal thing to hear on an otherwise sunny afternoon.

He didn't realise he was swaying until an alarmed Roxas asked, "Um, do you wanna sit down?"

"Sure," Axel replied, and quickly sank cross-legged to the ground. He hugged his violin and bow a little, for comfort, for familiarity in a world he was rapidly losing his understanding of. Roxas looked from his hunched figure to the park bench just a short distance away, then sighed and crouched down in front of him.

"Sorry. I know that it's – a lot. And that that's the understatement of the century," he added, when Axel shot him a wild glance. He reached up and squeezed Axel's shoulder, Axel twitching slightly but not pulling away. Taking this as a positive sign, Roxas also sat, knees touching Axel's as he tried to explain himself. "So, at this point, you might be asking yourself – well, other people usually are at this point, I guess you're just, uh, gummed up right now – well, they're usually asking 'Okay, so, Roxas, why did you wake me up if I was just happily going about one of my lives?'"

One of. Axel wasn't even the only one; just the latest. And Roxas thought he was a vessel? "Uh-huh," he offered tersely, to show that he was paying attention.

"Well, that's generally when I take them to go see someone. And that someone is a lot more qualified than me to make you understand what's going on." He leaned forward, putting his face between Axel's gaze and a random ant on the ground. "Can I take you to that person?" Axel reluctantly thought about it, a question floating through his mind that made Roxas smile. "I promise I'll stay with you the entire time."

Hesitantly, Axel nodded. It wasn't like he was going to pass up a chance to see the person with all the answers, or wherever it was Roxas was taking him. But he definitely felt better knowing the kid was coming along, and he was glad that he hadn't had to ask for it out loud. He wasn't sure his pride would have let him. But hey, maybe Roxas did this for everyone, he was always going on about all these apparent 'others' that he had done this exact same thing to. Appearing out of nowhere, becoming like a hurricane, and then, what? Off to the next one?

His turn of mood was starting to puzzle Roxas. Great. He was a literal human mood ring around this guy. Shit. He wasn't thinking straight. He shook his head to clear it, and said, "Just… let me put my violin away." Roxas nodded, a hint of doubt in his eyes as he watched Axel pack up. Once he was ready, he held his hand out resolutely, having banished the idiotic mood away and just. Ready for some answers now. "Okay. Let's go."

Roxas blinked, then took hold of his hand and tucked his arm close as he turned him around and started walking them across the park. Axel was awash in such confusion, Roxas had to laugh. "It's close, and I have standing orders to never portal in without permission."

"O-oh," was Axel's only intelligent reply, because all of his focus was on the fact that he had his violin in one hand and the other clasped tightly, warmly, by the short, cute, sarcastic, and occasionally infuriating Roxas, who seemed to have no plans to let go at any point between here and their destination. Roxas bumped him slightly with his head, Axel keenly aware that he was probably an open book to this guy, and he was just – relieved, he guessed? That Roxas seemed partial to him, too?

He was a fan of Axel's, after all.

They walked a few blocks like this, the afternoon starting to deepen around them, Roxas huddling closer to Axel for additional warmth as the wind cut across from the direction of the ocean like a knife. "You know, you really do feel warmer than regular people," Roxas idly commented, causing a brief storm in Axel that caused him to laugh again. "For a god of fire, I mean. It makes sense."

"Oh. Right. Yeah, that's what you meant," he mumbled, half to himself, as he scratched his head through his beanie with the edge of his violin case. "Um. Yeah, I guess I've never really felt the cold like other people. I still have to rug up when it snows, though."

"Yeah?" Roxas squeezed his hand and laughed lightly. "I'd kind of like to see that. You actually feeling the cold. I bet your nose goes red, am I right?" Why the fuck was this feeling more and more like a date? Roxas gently placed his head on his shoulder. "Don't worry about it. Let's just have this for a moment."

Axel hesitated, but… well, it wasn't like this was an unpleasant situation to find himself in. Just give in to the moment seemed like pretty good advice. He shrugged up his shoulders against the wind and tentatively leaned his head a little into Roxas's. He wasn't sure what this was. He wasn't sure exactly what he was feeling. He barely even knew the person he was doing this with. But it just felt… right for now. And that was enough.

It changed as they approached a certain glimmering high-rise in the city centre. Roxas pulled carefully away and patted himself down, tidied his hair. Axel frowned grimly at the reflective black glass windows that covered every inch of the building.

"This way," Roxas said, and stepped ahead, leading the way to the doors, which were operated by a card reader. He pulled one from his pocket – pitch black, almost unnervingly so – and held it against the reader. It issued a single, positive-sounding beep, and the door audibly unlocked. Roxas grabbed the handle and hauled it open to admit Axel to the interior, an expressionless place made up of greys and whites and minimalism. They passed an unmanned reception station, since office hours were over, Axel supposed, and directly approached the elevators, which were also card-operated. Once they got inside, there was yet another card function – it had to be inserted into a slot to even operate the damn thing.

Roxas pressed the button for the top floor, and after a moment, the elevator started a smooth, rapid ascent. "Be respectful," Roxas advised him. "You're about to meet Ansem the Wise. Also a guy named Riku, but you don't have to give a shit about him. Ansem, though – he's a big deal. Don't fuck him around."

"'Ansem the Wise'?" Axel sarcastically echoed. "Do I get three guesses about what he's the god of?"

Roxas quickly slapped the back of his head. "See, that's exactly the sort of shit I don't want you saying in there," he complained. "Make a good impression, asshole."

Axel grumbled, but straightened himself as the elevator braked to a halt and opened its doors to a long hallway. There were very few doors along this hallway, but ones at the very end dominated your attention. They were heavier, darker, carved with elaborate stories into what was probably centuries-old wood. Its handles were shining brass. It was honestly beautiful. As Axel exhaled in wonder and reached out, Roxas gently caught his wrist, and shook his head. He instead pressed a button beside the door, and a moment later they swung open.

Roxas ushered Axel inside a sumptuously decorated room that looked like it would be at home in some billionaires' gentlemen's club. It was… sort of nauseating, to be perfectly honest, especially after the breathtaking brilliance of the doors. The walls were expensively panelled, the reflective, hard floor giving way to lush carpet that Axel could feel his sneakers sinking into. There was rare-looking art on the walls, leather lounges, gorgeous bookcases and desks. The fireplace looked like it belonged in a lifestyle magazine. He felt too poor to even breathe near a place like this.

"Just relax," Roxas whispered, his last piece of advice before he led him to the opposite end of the room where two men were waiting beyond a running-water partition. Goddamn, this place. Roxas waited back a little, gesturing for Axel to step forward on his own to where an old-ish man sat at a shining black desk, and some guy with silver hair who had to be around Axel's age leaned against the wall to one side.

Rising from the desk, the older man held out a hand and said in a crisp, educated voice, "Welcome, Axel. We have awaited your awakening for some time."

Axel slowly reached out and shook the proffered hand, uncertainly greeting back, "…Yo." He glanced at the silver-haired young man, who had been fixing a level gaze at him from the moment he walked in, but without any of Roxas's fondness, which Axel was only just now realising existed when faced with what could only be described as a… cold expression.

"My name is Ansem the Wise," the old man told him, before gesturing to the other guy with his free hand and introducing, "and this is Riku. We are both extremely pleased to have you here in our presence."

Axel nodded at Riku, who curtly returned the gesture, and 'Ansem the Wise' released his hand and sat back down behind the desk, encouraging Axel to take the seat opposite. Axel did so, immediately slouching and asking entirely too sincerely, "So do I use your full title when I talk to you, or…?"

"Just… Ansem is fine," the man replied, his smile thin.

To Riku, Axel asked, "And what about you? You look like the kinda guy to have an important title, too." He didn't mean it as a compliment, and it wasn't taken as one. Riku's eyes narrowed slightly. He was sure he could feel Roxas's boring into the back of his skull, but he didn't much care. This pair of guys in their tailored, perfectly-fitted suits, like little salutes to capitalist power in their high-rise building with their expensive Everything. Axel was specifically unimpressed by such open – vulgar, in his opinion – displays of wealth and therefore, allegedly, power. This all just felt like one big, long effort to make him feel small, and seeing how tamped-down Roxas had become in such a place, he was having none of their shit.

"Riku and I are both simply members of the public," Ansem answered for the other, smiling like a politician and attracting his attention away from the unsociable Riku. "Just like you are, Axel."

"Oh, so – so you're gods, too? Or are you a vessel?" he asked Riku pointedly, seeing the guy bristle slightly at the suggestion. "No? Only Roxas's deal? Okay. Good to know." He stretched his legs out and sank back comfortably in his chair. It was an expensive seat, after all. There was no need to feel discomfort in a place like this. "So, here we are! Gods, right? Or reincarnations, or whatever the difference really is. What are your magic powers?" he asked Ansem brightly, folding his hands behind his head. When the man frowned, he went on, "No? What about my man Sunshine over there? Sunny? Baby? Is that your power? Making the sun come out after a storm?"

"Riku is the reincarnation of an old god of the sea," Ansem told him, a disapproving tone to his voice that Axel gave not a single red fuck about.

"Ohhhh," Axel got it now, "so that's why you look so dark and stormy over there? Too dry for you here?" He suddenly clapped his hands and asked pleadingly, "You have to tell me – do mermaids exist, and also, if so, how do they have sex."

In the background, Roxas started choking on nothing in particular.

"You're quite antagonistic, aren't you?" Ansem observed reproachfully.

"Am I really?" Axel asked sweetly. He faked a shiver. "Must be all that fire that I'm the god of, makes me all confrontational and rebellious. Oh, I'm naughty." He batted his eyelashes over at Riku. "You feeling naughty, too, handsome ocean god? I'm sure we can get along, even if we're water and fire. I mean, where else would steam come from?" He winked, while Riku glared.

Ansem seemed almost preternaturally patient and calm throughout his spiel, despite the occasions of displeasure. "I understand that these last several days have been a very sudden learning curve for you, Axel. It's one that we've all experienced, at some point or another."

"Oh, yeah? You got your cherry popped, too, old man?" Axel asked, to which Roxas quietly snapped, "Cut the shit."

Axel turned and sent him a long, frustrated look, but when he turned back to Ansem was more cooperative. "All right. I've had my fun. Now how about you tell me why I'm here, since Roxas seems to think you're better qualified at that than he is?"

Ansem laced his hands together atop the black desk, while Riku's hackles settled back down. "Well, you are correct at least in that you, myself, and Riku are indeed reincarnations of gods. Once they were great, truly great, whereas now…" He spread his hands out helplessly. "Well, we are the death throes of the divine, Axel. Take it as you will."

"Roxas said there's no reason we should know one another," Axel said, causing Ansem to glance briefly past his shoulder. "That he's waking us up specifically. I'd really like to know what those specifics are. Please," he added, by way of keeping it civil for Roxas's sake. "I mean, put yourself in my shoes. All I wanted was to join an orchestra, and now I find out all the times I thought I was practicing my violin, I was actually using latent god powers to influence the emotions of those who heard me. But, now that I've met Roxas and he's wakened me, as you put it, I can literally change the emotions of people with my music. And you know what? I was okay how I was. So can you tell me? Why I needed to be 'woken'?" No offence to Roxas, Axel liked him and all, but he had been doing just fine before that set of baby-blues had reset his entire fucking world. He really hadn't needed a mindfuck quite like this.

Ansem closed his eyes for a moment, gathering the right words. When he opened them again, there was a glint of steel in their depths. "You were woken for a purpose, Axel. As there is no easy way to say it, I will simply state facts: We are in the midst of a war, and we require soldiers. Powers. Resources. Skills. It is a war between gods, and must be resolved by them." He spoke sternly, a fist upon the table as if he would dearly like to bang it for emphasis but was holding back. "One of our number awoke on his own; or perhaps it is more accurate to say that he was never fully 'asleep'. He left pieces of himself to be passed from vessel to vessel, until he was able to find his reincarnated self and awaken it."

Axel massaged his temples, trying his very best to take this all in. "Okay," he said slowly, not sounding okay in the slightest, but encouraging Ansem to go on.

He did so, gravely. "This particular god is known as Xemnas. He is the reincarnation of a war god called Xehanort. Xehanort had a particular skill at possessing others, and used that skill to keep his powers alive over the millennia while the rest of us were going through our dwindling cycles. As a result, Xemnas is far more powerful than any other single god. Our only hope to stop him is to act as one against him."

Axel pursed his lips, nodding along, seeming for all the world that he was following along without issue. When Ansem paused to allow him to speak, or perhaps just to take a breath, Axel asked, "And the exit is – which way?" He pointed left, then right, then gave a thumbs-up. "It was super neato to meet you guys, I had the best time, it was a great talk, but I have to go now, and I have to take Roxas with me, so I'll, what? See you again – never? Little later than never? Sounds good? Fantastic." He was up and stalking through the room, grabbing Roxas and pulling him along with him, pausing only to slam the button to open the doors, fully intending to walk out and never look back. Maybe take Roxas to an anti-brainwashing therapist. Something like that.

But it was Riku who stopped him from going further. "You idiot," he shouted irritably, "if Xemnas takes over the gods, who do you think is going to be next? He wants to rule over humanity. The rest of us were woken from perfectly normal lives, too, you know. But we also don't want the people who we care about in those lives getting crushed under a godly dictatorship. That's why we woke you up. It's why we're all awake. Because if we don't stop him, it's not just our asses on the line. It's everyone's."

Axel stopped, his hand wrapped tightly around Roxas's wrist, the blond staring at him, Ansem and Riku staring, having come around the partition as he stood before the open double-doors, the hallway stretching ahead, the elevator and the real world beyond them. But the real world only exists…

If this world isn't allowed to touch it.

That's why Axel dropped his head, sighed, and slid his hand away from Roxas. He turned back to them. "So what the hell do you want from me? How do I help stop a fucking god?"

"With help," Ansem told him. "Help that it's time you were introduced to."