Disclaimer: I don't own Negima or Ranma 1/2.
Rise of Prodigies
Chapter Seventy-Seven: Epilogue - The Shenanigans of an Abyssal Clan
Sitting in a courtyard of Mistress' resort, Chachamaru found herself addressing an immense host of Ranma-sama's slime and doll familiars. Why? Because she had been asked by Ranma-sama to attempt to teach them about humans and how they should behave around them. A fool's errand even Ranma-sama had agreed but something that she insisted, largely at her mother's request, that Chachamaru try.
"Why are you trying to teach us about humans, Imouto-chan?" Chachazero-nee, Chachamaru's older sister, asked as she crossed her arms in a huff.
"According to Ranma-sama, it was because I am mostly human whilst at the same time being a familiar like all of you." Chachamaru replied with a shrug, repeating her Outsider friend's reasoning even though she did not fully agree with it even as she was flattered by it.
"I guess that makes sense." Zero-nee allowed with a frown. "But I don't see why I need this lesson. I already know loads about humans."
"Beyond how to kill them?" Chachamaru queried, looking at the model of doll whose design had been improved to produce her own body plan.
"What else do we need to know about them?" Suramui-san, the red member of the Slime Sisters, asked with a frown whilst her sisters and the majority of the rest of slimes and dolls made various gestures of agreement with the question.
Chachamaru could not help but sigh at yet another reminder of how inhuman her kin could be. Setting aside that thought, she focused on the task at hand and replied. "You do recall that most of Ranma-sama's friends are humans, do you not? Thus, if nothing else you will need to understand them well enough to work with them."
"That won't be a problem." Zero-nee said with a shake of her head. "Whenever we need to work with humans, we just need to do whatever Mistress says."
"Yeah, we just need to be good girls." A blue colored slime that Chachamaru did not know gurgled out, causing the rest of Ranma-sama's gathered familiars to once more voice their general agreement.
"Perhaps," Chachamaru cut into the mutters of agreement. "But you should pay attention nonetheless, because Ranma-sama asked me to do this. She she thinks you scare her human friends too much whenever she summons you. She hopes that if you understand humans better, you'll not be so unsettling to them."
The army whispered amongst itself for a moment once again before Pudding-san, the blue colored Slime Sister, silenced all of them with a loud, shrill whistle.
"Quiet!" Suramui-san added, shooting a glare towards the other familiars.
It took a moment for the army to settle down and only when it did so, did Ameko-san, the green member of the Slime Sisters, turn to face Chachamaru.
"Go ahead Chachamaru-san, we're all listening." The most polite of the three sisters said with a nod.
"Thank you." Chachamaru said, gratefully returning the nod. "Then let me begin."
She waited to receive agreement from her audience and only after receiving a series of nods did the gynoid continue.
"Then, first and foremost, to really understand humans you will need to learn what love is because it's what makes them what they are."
"Love?" One of the many Ranma-sama style dolls that Mistress had built whilst they had been separated during Ala Alba's time in Mundus Magicus asked.
Chachamaru nodded. "Yes, love."
"And what is love exactly?" A cute doll said. Said doll had green hair that was tied back except for two massive curls that framed the bottom of her face and which was decorated by a heart-shaped accessory on the front left of her head; and matching eyes who was dressed in an outfit that consisted of puffy orange pants and a long-sleeved yellow coat, with the sleeves puffed at the shoulders and laced in white at the ends. A coat that was tied in the front at the neck and the waist with brown ribbons; whilst on the back of her coat there was another, larger sized bow in the same color of her coat. All this made her adorable enough, and was clear proof of how her creator, Ranma-sama's, aesthetic sense skewed, but her appearance was further enhanced by classy black shoes and a parasol that matched her outfit.
Now wasn't that a difficult question that the doll had just posed to her? Chachamaru knew it when she saw it of course, but like humanity had for almost the beginning of time, she was unable to properly define it. She thus defaulted to some definitions she found on the Web.
"Love is a strong feeling of affection and concern toward another person, as that arising from kinship or close friendship. A feeling that can be accompanied by sexual attraction."
The army began muttering among themselves until Zero-nee scoffed. "That's just a definition that you pulled off the internet."
Chachamaru blushed lightly at this and freely admitted it. "Yes, I did. However, it is not inaccurate."
"Okay, but how do you understand love to mean?" Ameko-san asked as she tapped her chin in confusion. "Because we don't really understand what you mean based on that definition alone."
I suppose I can do better. Chachamaru acknowledged as she decided that she could share how she interpreted what love meant. If it helped her fellow familiars then, as embarrassing as it would be, it would be worth it.
It was embarrassing however and she was thus unable to stop herself from blushing brilliantly as she answered Ameko-san's question. "Well, to me, love is a desire to know more about those I love. I want to know everything about them that they are willing to share with me. Love is wanting to be with them through happiness, to share their joy; and in sadness, to comfort and be comforted by them."
As she said all this, her mind's eye was filled with images of Negi-sensei, Chisame, and, a more recent addition to her list of her loved ones, the elf, Luna-san.
"Is that all?" Zero-nee asked with a cheeky, knowing smile.
Her blush deepening, Chachamaru was tempted to deflect the question but at the inquisitive looks shot her way from the less worldly slimes and dolls, she relented.
"And, of course, I also want to explore their bodies and give my body to them to explore in return." Chachamaru admitted even as the images filling her mind's eye took on a more lewd turn and her imaginings of her beloveds lost all clothing.
"You mean you want to have sex with them?" A red slime asked, looking excited. Though not out of titillation, as far as Chachamaru could tell, but out of excitement at getting to the bottom of things.
"Yes," Chachamaru said, her blush even brighter than before.
"Oh! I know! I know!" A Ranma-shaped doll shouted as she jumped to her feet whilst enthusiastically waving her hands to get everyone's attention. "What you're describing is the same kind of feelings that Mistress feels towards Vampire Lady , isn't it?"
"Yes." Chachamaru nodded.
"Oh, oh!" One of the slimes, with a light green coloration that was constantly bubbling, said as she waved a hand. "Does that mean that humans do the same thing Mistress and Vampire Lady do to show this love thing?"
The gynoid paused, looking to Zero-nee. "What things are they speaking of?"
The first puppet of the Dark Evangel shrugged. "Things like killing their enemies in a sweet and grotesque manner together?"
"No, that is not the case." Chachamaru corrected sternly.
"Ah, but Chachamaru~" Zero-nee sang her name with a smug grin on her wooden face. "Mistress and Old Mistress seem to think so. They often talk about going to Mundus Magicus the next holiday to hunt down bandits and how wonderful it will be to make sweet love in their blood and viscera."
The gynoid paused, frowning. "Yes, while that can be deemed romantic for some, it is not for most people."
One of the Ranma-sama style dolls shouted out. "Most people are stupid then!"
Before Chachamaru could correct her, the Slime Sisters jumped in.
"Oh, oh! We can show you!" "We know the perfect example of love!" "Yes, it's a fool proof example."
"And that would be?" Chachamaru asked with an inquiring look. Hopefully it would make sense to the rest of this gaggle of murder makers.
"Yeah, okay, so love just has to be!" "It has to be when Mistress and Vampire Lady have tentacle play!" "They always say that it's the best thing ever."
Chachamaru blinked a few times, processing the information as she felt her heatsinks warm to an impossible degree, making her cheek pigment turn rosy. The very idea of the debauchery that her Master and Ranma-san got into-!
Unbidden, drawn by the mention of the conversation, Chachamaru's mind was filled with a memory of walking in on the two that rose from the depths of her memory banks. Acting quickly, the gynoid shunted the memory file back into the deepest folders of her memory where it would, hopefully, be left to rot forever more!
Desperate to ensure the memory would not resurface anytime soon, Chachamaru had taken a good few minutes to suppress it. That was too long however as by the time that she returned from her trip down her access memory lane, she discovered the crazy army of her Master's mate swapping stories of things Master and Ranma-sama had done.
"Dress ups!" "Sucking faces!" "Sucking other things!"
It was a cacophony of chaos that she just wished would be silent or a touch more organized!
The barrage of images, each more lewd than the last, that came to mind as a result of what she was hearing left Chachamaru in a tizzy. In response, more steam escaped her vents, yet it did nothing to avail the overheating issues she was facing.
It quickly proved too much for the maidenly gynoid and she blue screened, crumbling into a heap.
Some time later, Chachamaru's optics opened and she felt herself on her diagnostic bed in her classmate and creator, Hakase Satomi's, lab at the Mahora University.
"Hey, Chachamaru!" Hakase-san chimed, rolling over on her chair. "Finally operational again? You gave us a scare! Feeling better?"
"Yes, I apologize for the worry. I am fine now. Whatever malfunction caused me to shut down seemed to have resolved itself." Chachamaru said, continuing to lie down on the bed as she ran a series of self-diagnostics.
"Eh, no problem. Though what the heck caused your processors to crash like that? The data I accessed while repairing you wasn't very enlightening." Hakase-san stared at her with her curious green eyes over her large glasses. "I only got random bits of nonsense."
"Ah, yes, I was teaching Ranma-san's army how to be human."
Hakase-san tilted her head in clear confusion. "Why would they need to know that?"
"It is in an effort to stop them unsettling everyone as much whenever Ranma-san summons them to do, frankly, anything."
"...Chachamaru, do I need to remind you that they are a bunch of monster slimes and animated dolls? They creep people out regardless of what they do."
Chachamaru shrugged. "Ranma-san asked me to help her with it."
"Yeah, but even with goddesshood, Ranma-san is silly sometimes."
Chachamaru adjusted her head a few degrees in a nod. That was true.
"Alright, so you were attempting to humanize a bunch of monsters. How did conducting such a lesson cause you to crash?"
Chachamaru started to heat up once more, warnings and other alarms going off as she stuttered. "T-The t-topic of M-M-Master and Ra-Ranma-san's l-l-l-ove life came up."
Her creator blinked for a moment and then a look of realization spread across her face. "Oh! You mean their raunchy sex life!"
Chachamaru heated up more, nodding mutely.
"Oh, Silly Chacha." Hakase-san patted her shoulder. "Tell me all the kinky details. I've been curious about the mating habits of a vampire/slime couple ever since those two got together. I'm dying to know!"
Chachamaru did not reply. Instead, she just sighed.
Why are all my friends crazy?
Whilst Chachamaru was attempting to teach her familiars to understand humans, Ranma and her mate, Eva-chan, were meeting with their future foster daughter/disciple, Chao-san, for lunch. A lunch that Chao-san had made reservations for in one of Mahora's most well reviewed and expensive restaurants.
"Chao-san, you know this was not necessary, right?" Ranma told the time traveler.
"Of course it is, Shishou." Chao-san rebutted firmly as she led the three of them as they made their way after the server as she showed them to their table. "Now that my identity is known, it's only right I formally greet everyone in the family as who I truly am and for something as important as that, it's only right to do it in a place as fancy as I can afford to befit the occasion."
"If this is you introducing yourself to your family, where's Negi then?" Eva-chan asked as they took their seats as they reached their table, ignoring the server and leaving it to Ranma and Chao-san to politely offer the woman a nod of thanks for guiding them there. "Aren't you one of his descendants?"
Chao-san nodded. "Yeah, but he's not family. Even if I'm not just his descendant, but of his three wives too."
"Three?" Eva-chan asked, leaning across the table towards the time traveler curiously.
"Three." Ranma affirmed. "I've confirmed it with my Origin Sight."
"So the brat gets all three of them?"
Ranma nodded. "Though, Chao-san, how are you descended from all three branches of Negi's family? You mentioned plenty of intermarriage but…"
"The family tree is a little messy." Chao answered with a sheepish smile. "We'd be here for hours if I explained everything, but basically my birth mother was a great granddaughter of Chisame-obaasan while my paternal grandparents were the granddaughter of Chachamaru-obaasan and grandson of Luna-obaasan respectively."
"I guess there won't be genetic defects in the future, huh?"
"Genetherapy has gone a long way, Shīmǔ! Plus, magic helps." Chao said with a shrug. "Besides, the closest anyone who did the horizontal tango together were first cousins and cousin marriage has been a thing for forever without that big of a problem."
"I see." Ranma agreed with a nod before changing the topic of conversation. "Why this rush to introduce yourself, Chao-san?" Are you going home soon?"
The time traveler nodded. "The plan is for me to finish the year at Mahora Junior High then head home. So half a year max. That's not that much time really."
"It's not exactly short either." Eva-chan pointed out.
Chao-san shrugged. "Yeah, but I want to get as much things done in that time as possible, which means I want to do things as quickly as I can so I can squeeze as much stuff into the limited time I have as possible."
"That makes sense."
Eva-chan rolled her eyes at Ranma's response. "You probably picked up that attitude from Ranma. You definitely didn't get it from me."
"Yup," Chao-san nodded. "I can confirm that."
Blushing in embarrassment, Ranma hastily once more changed the subject. "Will you need me to send you back to the future, Chao-san? The last time you went back to your own time, you needed to tap into the power of the World Tree and the mana it had stored up over twenty two years."
"It's fine, Shishou." Chao-san said, waving the offer away. "Future!you will reach across time to pull me back to my own time when the time comes."
Ranma nodded. That indeed sounded like something she would do.
"Is there a possibility of future!Ranma paying a visit from the future?"
Knowing what her mate meant by that question, Ranma grew a pseudopod from her back and used it to cover Chao's ears, much to the time traveler's exasperated amusement.
Smirking at Ranma's reaction, Eva-chan continued unabated. "I want a threesome with her and present!Ranma at the same time!"
"Shishou, you know that I can guess what Shīmǔ said even though you made sure I could not hear her, right? Future!Shīmǔ speaks like that all the time!"
Though unsurprised by it, Ranma shot her mate an exasperated look at that bit of news but nevertheless taking the hint, retracted her pseudopod. Unfortunately, taking that as license to proceed, Eva tried to probe Chao-san further.
"So what kind of bedroom antics do Ranma and I get up to in your time?"
"Sorry, Shīmǔ, but I won't be giving you any spoilers to the debauchery you and Shishou get up to, but~ Just remember to have lots of sex. How else will I get siblings?"
"Chao, leave it at that. We get it. We get up to plenty of sex in the future. For now, could we please just talk about something more normal? Please?"
"Sure, Shishou." Chao-san agreed easily. "But honestly Shishou, you're so innocent compared to your future self. I mean, you swore you would watch me lose my-"
"Stop now, please!"
Smirking, Chao-san theatrically snapped her mouth closed.
"Oh, such a shame that my darling is still so innocent. At least she mends her prudish ways in the future." Eva-chan drawled with a lustful smirk.
"Oh, there's no worries about that, Shīmǔ!" Chao said with a whistle as she fanned her face.
Ranma groaned, burying her face in her hands. "Eva-chan, do not encourage her. I just got her to stop talking about our sex life!"
Chao-san shivered all of a sudden.
Ranma peeked through her hands, a flat look in her eyes. "What?"
"You see, the exchange that Shīmǔ and you just engaged in is how you behave in the future." The bun haired girl giggled, pressing her fingers together. "Right up to when you are discussing how to punish me when I misbehave."
"Oh?" Eva-chan looked intrigued. "Would you accept it if we chose to punish such a naughty child?"
Chao-san nodded without hesitation. "Yep! Whether it's in the past or future, you're my parents. Of course I would accept anything you told me to do like any good daughter."
Ranma blinked in surprise. "Chao-san, why are you so loyal to us? Were we really that good parents?"
In response, the time traveler shot Ranma and Eva-chan a loving smile and replied with stark honesty. "Shishou, Shīmǔ, you were the best parents ever! My only regret in life is that I wasn't born your daughter. Heck, you are the only parents I care to acknowledge."
Ranma was stunned into silence and Eva-chan put a hand on Ranma's shoulder before replying on their behalf. "We're glad to hear you were happy being raised by us."
"I was the happiest. You were the best parents a girl could ever ask for." Chao-san repeated firmly.
This statement was met by a gasp from Otouchan and Okaasan as they arrived whilst escorted by Haruna.
Whilst their parents were stunned by Chao-san's statement however, Haruna just scoffed and casually took her seat as she replied. "Of course Onee-sama would be a wonderful kaasan. She's just great like that."
Ignoring her, Ranma's own mother asked. "Chao-chan, do you honestly think that way about Ranma and Evangeline-san?"
"Obaasan, Ojīsan, wonderful to see you."
Ranma stretched out a pair of pseudopods from her back, pulling out the chair for her parents. "Why don't you take a seat? This might take a bit."
Obliging her, the Saotome parents sat down and pulled in their chairs.
Chao-san offered the two a smile and stood up, clapping her hands. Offering them a formal bow, she greeted her three additional relations. "Hello, Obaasan, Ojīsan, Haruna-obasan. Let me properly introduce myself, my name is Chao Lingshen, adopted daughter of Ranma-shishou and Eva-shīmǔ. It's a pleasure to make your acquaintance."
Done and done! Thanks to Nameless as always!
Ah, Chachamaru, she has no idea what she's doing. Girl, you only have learned the basics of 'Be Human'. Don't think yourself a master, fool! And now you got Hakase poking around for… ideas. That never ends well. Ever.
Nameless: Indeed. Especially as she is mining for details so she can get data points for use in the production of her own robotic sex doll. Or at least that's our headcanon for Hakase's future.
It's Robo-Seuxal Life Partner!
Nameless: It is. Thanks for the correction. By the way, would it be male or female or would it be modular and thus interchangeable?
Both.
Nameless: XD
It was nice for Chao to spend time with her parents. And meeting more of the family too. It's always a treat for time shenanigans to mess about and just lead to that type of event. Cheeky little thing that Chao is of course.
Nameless: Yup. Timey wimey stuff is always fun if done well. Do let us know if our take on things is passable. Beyond that, Chao is definitely getting a kick out of playing with the past selves of her family, particularly teasing them about their futures. Their sex lives especially.
A quick response to WarzPark's review on Chapter 76 and those like that (i.e. reviews essentially making suggestions/demands on how a fic should be written): If there's something you want in a fic and do not see it, then feel free to either write one of your own that meets your expectation or go find a fic like that. Fic writers aren't slaves to their readers, especially if they are writing for free (i.e. without any monetization). We get to decide what we want to write. Not our readers. If anyone feels inclined to influence a fic then at least present an argument that convinces writers as to why they should change what they have planned to fit your ideas in. Otherwise, you are frankly not adding anything meaningful.
E4E: You know what to do! Smash that review button and tell us what you love! No flames and peace off my peeps!