Katsuki hated them.

He hated life in general at the moment. He wasn't even sure why the fuck he thought it was a good idea. Everything about going home was a bad idea.

While his mom had improved over the years, weekly therapy sessions helped her realize just how much she fucked up. Understanding what she did was fucked up, things she said and had since apologized for and stopped saying.

Katsuki really thought he could spend the day with her, going to his family home for tea wasn't something new. So he went alone, not a big deal—or at least it shouldn't have been.

But then Auntie Inko called and Katsuki watched as his mom took the pot of tea into the kitchen for a refill. Katsuki thought nothing of it and went to text Eijirou to let him know when he would be home. That was when he overheard his mother.

And really he was used to her saying the worst.

This wasn't that bad.

It just rubbed him the wrong way, enough to have the sinking empty feeling, bad enough to have him set a timer on his phone while she wasn't looking. Katsuki felt the familiar anxiety creep up as he pretended not to have heard her.

"I swear Inko should run one of those gossip blogs, you know?" Mitsuki asked.

She set the new tea out. Katsuki answered but couldn't remember what he was saying. Just letting his mother talk as he waited for his phone to go off.

He needed to go home.

Ten minutes and the timer was going off and he faked a phone call. Faking being called in for work and arguing with his imaginary assistant as he muttered his excuse to his mom before he rushed out the door.

The all-too-familiar dysphoria eating away at him in seconds. He felt like shit, to begin with, it didn't matter how well he passed or even how much he felt like himself. Getting to a point in his life where his body finally matched his brain. Yet, he just felt like shit at the moment.

All the work was thrown out the window and he was the same kid who hid himself behind baggie hoodies and taking out the pain of the comments out on himself. One accident with his quirk, a randomly placed scratch, "from a cat in the park" and more hidden away across his thighs.

He had no control over his mind when he spiraled like this. He knew he needed to get home and far away from the toxic headspace he was in without doing something stupid.

When Katsuki made it to the front door of his building he wasn't sure how he got there. He had no memory of it. He walked up the stairs going to his apartment and letting himself in, shakily unlocking the door.

Immediately he was met with the smell of a sweet candle Eijirou had burning in the kitchen. It grounded him ever so slightly. Katsuki shut and locked the door behind him.

The kitchen was clean and the candle was left on the stove like it always was when Eijirou got done cleaning. It was like his reward or something. This time the apartment smelled like cinnamon apple, fresh and sweet; and perfect for autumn.

It reminded Katsuki of the apple pastries they bought from a farm on their road trips before, always too good to pass up.

Katsuki took his shoes off setting them on the rack they had by the door before leaving his phone on the counter and walking down the hall.

He stopped at the door.

He didn't want to bother him.

He didn't want to be another problem for someone.

He should just go to sleep, it was the best way to avoid doing something stupid.

He knew he wasn't thinking right.

He pushed open the door anyway.

"Hey Kats, cleaned the kitchen so I thought we could order from that pizza place you said about but if you wanted something else we can—"

Eijirou paused as he looked over to the door at him and Katsuki should just leave. He saw his husband was getting ready to play one of his games and he did not need to mess up his time off from work.

"Hey, what's up?" Eijirou turned to him.

Katsuki didn't say anything, he just walked in and ignored the headphone cord Eijirou must have been trying to untangle as he straddled his lap. Katsuki wrapped his arms around his husband as the room turned a shade of red as the computer loaded on, leaving a brighter glowing light in the room.

Katsuki rested his head on Eijirou's shoulder. Breathing in the comforting scent of his body wash. He just needed a moment and then he would leave and take a nap or maybe workout before ordering the pizza Eijirou suggested.

He would be fine, he just needed a minute.

But he just couldn't move when that minute was up.

"Do you need company or control?" Eijirou asked softly.

Katsuki knew it was best when he was like this for "yes" or "no" questions or a simple "this" or "that" to answer from.

"Control."

"Okay," Eijirou nodded.

Rubbing Katsuki's back in the comforting circles he told Katsuki his mom used to do when he was anxious and then Katsuki felt like sobbing because part of him was jealous. Jealous Eijirou got two moms who were nothing but comfort, bear hugs, random forts set up in the living room, laughing at jokes at the dinner table, and doing the same to Katsuki as if their love was just that easy to show.

Katsuki got the silent father and the mother who instead of protecting him from the harsh world she turned into the harshest of them all. Being called names, misgendered, being told he was wrong for being himself. Any accomplishment was never good enough, no matter how proud he was of his work.

But it wasn't like that anymore.

His wounds had healed, but it didn't erase the memory of how he got the scar.

Years of abuse didn't just go away. Therapy only helped him so much, the feeling were still there he just learned how to deal with them. To feel them and process them and move the fuck on with his life.

Except it didn't always work.

And now Eijirou was being too fucking soft to him. Letting him hold onto him as if he were a lifeline which to be fair he was at this point.

And fuck, Katsuki didn't deserve him.

He was too broken for this shit.

Trying to improve himself in therapy, putting in the work only to have his mother say the wrong thing and be back to square fucking one.

Eijirou ironically or not was his rock. The one person who saw the shit show of Katsuki's emotions. And the man held him, listened, made him forget, comforted him in a way Katsuki wasn't even sure anyone could.

So Eijirou took control as he asked.

"I am going to play on live with the squad for an hour," Eijirou whispered to him. "And you will warm my cock. When I'm done playing my game I will fuck you and then we can order takeaway and watch season two of Heartstopper again."

Eijirou kept rubbing slow circles on his back, slipping under his shirt and trailing his hand along Katsuki's smooth skin as he waited for Katsuki to consent to the plan. Giving him all the time as he patiently waited.

"Okay," Katsuki hummed.

Giving up the control and only being what Eijirou needed him to be for the moment. The heavy feeling of the day didn't feel as crushing.

Eijirou wrapped his arms around him and got up, only to sit Katsuki down in in the chair while he went and grabbed the pillow Katsuki used when he would kneel. Something that started out as something sexual that turned out to be something that genuinely helped the both of them after a long day. Most of the time it still led to them fucking afterwords but not all the time.

Sometimes they just wanted that pause on the world, to be close to one another, recharge in a way. It was a way to stop the overthinking both had trouble with. When doubt and insecurities got too much.

Katsuki was able to give over that control to his husband, something that came easily to the red-haired himbo.

"Want anything before we start?" Eijirou asked.

Katsuki shook his head before he sank down onto his knees. He took his time getting comfortable on the pillow.

"Two taps if you need anything or want up, got it?" Eijirou asked, taking his seat on his chair again.

Normally Katsuki would bite out a remark that he wasn't a dumbass and knew how this worked but he knew he was already starting to drop into a fuzzy head space. He usually did when he kneeled like this, the comfort was damn near immediate at this point.

He nodded instead and muttered out: "Yes."

Eijirou leaned down a kissed his forehead before they started and Katsuki couldn't help but hum at the feeling. If anyone would have informed him that he would like forehead kisses as much as he did he would have bitch slapped them. Then again he was about to cockwarm his husband just to calm down so the younger him would most likely not take any news about the current him very well.

Katsuki settled under the desk, fitting perfectly as he reached up to his husband who let him do as he pleased. Katsuki took his cock out of the black Dynamight sweats he was wearing. The idiot always repping their merch or their friends.

The blond was hidden under the desk enough that whoever Eijirou gamed with would be none the wiser. Under the desk it was just big enough for Katsuki to fit comfortably, when he was like this.

He slowly opened his mouth, Eijirou letting him get away with the kitten licks Katsuki started out with while his husband logged onto his computer.

Katsuki felt him harden under his tongue, going from half mass to being fully hard… at least part of him fully hard as Katsuki took him into his mouth. Slowly, inch by inch, savoring the feeling of his mouth being full. The blond was happy when his husband's dick hit the back of his throat, knowing that for the time being this was all he had to do.

Be a cockwarmer for his husband.

Breathing through his nose as he ignored his gag reflex, Katsuki closed his eyes and rested on Eijirou as he tuned the man out while he gamed.

Eijirou mostly shouted into the mic at Denki who understood the games they were playing to the point he one time only looked up at the sky for one game because he could not figure out the controls.

When the game would slow or they were waiting for something to load Eijirou would pet the top of Katsuki's head, running his fingers through the spiky blond hair he always commented on how soft it was. Which yeah because unlike him Katsuki knew how to keep his hair healthy something he had to work on with his husband.

His hand in his hair though felt nice.

Katsuki could feel himself dropping, slipping into that headspace he craved when he kneeled like this. His eyes closed as he relaxed into Eijirou's touch. Even going and putting his own hand behind his back to be more comfortable.

He rested like that, drool leaking out of his mouth, and he let it.

He stayed like that without comment until Eijirou was logged off, the game and video chat were done and the computer shut down. Katsuki only opened his eyes when Eijirou was pulling him off his cock.

Katsuki could only look up at him sleepily, wanting nothing more than for his dick to be put back into his mouth and not tucked back into his pants. A whine escaped his lips as he looked back at Eijirou.

"Shh babe, let's get you to bed. Promise you'll feel good," Eijirou said softly.

Katsuki felt compliant and only nodded.

Slowly getting out from under the desk and standing up, Eijirou helped steady him. Asking silently if he still wanted to continue, giving him an out if he wanted to just order in and cuddle up on the couch. He knew the idiot had no problem ignoring his dick or dealing with it himself but Katsuki needed more, he wanted more.

Katsuki pulled Eijirou down a little to make wrapping his arms around his neck a bit easier. Eijirou understood and lifted him up, carrying him to their bedroom across the apartment from their office/game room.

"Such a good boy, you did so well," Eijirou whispered into his hair, knowing damn well Katsuki loved praise from him.

He set Katsuki down on the bed in their room, the fresh sheets reminded him he was home. The fresh smell of the fabric softener Eijirou liked with hints of chamomile and honey from the sleepy spray he used for their pillows.

Katsuki was safe.

He was at home.

His and Eijirou's apartment was a place that felt more like home than anywhere else he lived. Even on their first night there when they had to sleep on an air mattress that deflated halfway through the night.

Katsuki laid back on the bed as Eijirou trailed his hand up the blond's thighs as he fit between them. Eijirou leaned down and kissed him gently.

Everything around him was Kirishima Eijirou.

Katsuki melted into him.

Not even noticing his pants were being pulled off or when Eijirou's fingers started stretching him. He only noticed when he pulled back and Katsuki pulled him back in closer, not wanting him to leave even for a second.

He needed the contact.

"Kats I need to get a condom," Eijirou muttered much too softly for the grip Katsuki had on him.

"No."

Katsuki needed him now and he needed Eijirou in him again.

"You just changed the sheets this morning," Eijirou reminded him.

Katsuki didn't let go of him.

Whatever look he had on his face must have been enough for Eijirou to break and give in to Katsuki's request, not moving away from him.

"Okay, okay, I won't leave," he reassured.

Eijirou took his shirt off staying close to Katsuki as he pushed his pants down, Katsuki only letting go when he knew Eijirou wasn't going to leave him.

Katsuki kept his shirt on not wanting to move as Eijirou leaned over him, slowly pushing into him. Katsuki's back arched, feeling the familiar cock stuff him full. He dug his nails on Eijirou's back.

Content to be caged in by his husband as he wrapped around him. He felt safe like this. Nothing could fucking hurt him when he was like this, Eijirou fully seated inside him.

His husband stilled for a moment letting him get used to him. As if he wasn't used to taking him by now, feeling the stretch went Eijirou would first push into him.

"So perfect," Eijirou mouthed at his neck.

Katsuki wrapped his legs around his waist pushing him ever so slightly deeper inside him.

"You fit me so well, Tsuki," Eijirou hummed, kissed his neck. He bit down a little, not as hard as he normally would, and Katsuki was okay with it at the moment.

The slight sting was enough.

Eijirou started to move, shifting his hips slightly as he moved slowly and sweetly. Letting Katsuki feel his cock pull nearly all the way out before pressing back into him.

Familiar.

Comforting.

It was just what Katsuki needed as he let his nails rake down Eijirou's back. Katsuki felt like he could cry, the feeling overwhelming him. Eijirou kissed his cheek and Katsuki held him tighter.

"I'm here," Eijirou reminded him. "You're okay, you're safe."

Eijirou spread the blond's legs, putting him in a mating press as he littered Katsuki's collarbone with kisses and whispers of reassurance, that he was safe, and that Eijirou was his human shield. In more ways than one. Literally and emotionally, protecting Katsuki just as the blond did with him.

"You're the perfect husband," Eijirou hummed into the side of his neck.

The word almost went unnoticed as he fucked into Katsuki from the new angle. Fucking him like he was something to cherish.

Katsuki didn't deserve someone like this.

So fucking soft and caring and what was Katsuki? Selfish, ignorant, mean. The words he was told since he could remember, by classmates, teachers, family, and his mother.

But Katsuki took and took with Eijirou and he knew he would continue to because he couldn't live in a world without him.

"So manly," Eijirou whispered between them and it sent him over the edge.

Katsuki let it go, not caring he was crying as Eijirou pounded into him. He held him tighter, Eijirou kissing him just as gently not even missing a beat as he let it all out.

Fucking him slow and steady as Katsuki was oblivious to his own orgasm until he felt himself being pushed over the edge, coming around his cock.

Eijirou fucked him through it, slow and deep until he was stilling inside him and Katsuki felt the familiar warmth as he came inside him. Katsuki arched his back, feeling all too fucking good at the moment.

He closed his eyes, finally letting go of Eijirou and letting himself relax into their fluffy bedding. His husband's softening dick still in him, too blissed out to care.

He fell asleep to Eijirou pressing kisses into his skin, whispers of 'I love you' with each kiss.

When Katsuki woke up he was clean, changed into Eijirou's boxers and one of his hoodies. Katsuki cuddled closer, using his husband as a pillow.

"To the land of the living, can you talk yet?" Eijirou asked.

Katsuki shook his head. Coming back from subspace always took him a few minutes. It was kind of like Eijirou in the mornings. Like he couldn't talk right away because it felt too fucking uncomfortable to force it.

"I ordered us dinner, whenever you're ready to eat," Eijirou continued.

Katsuki nodded.

He got up slowly and moved to straddle his husband. Leaning in to kiss him on the lips, his mouth minty from his toothpaste.

"I love you," Katsuki muttered.

Eijirou kissed him again, hands on Katsuki's waist grounding him.

"Embarrassing for you."

Katsuki hit him on the arm. "Asshole."

Eijirou laughed before kissing him again.

Softly pressing his lips to his husband's as they waited to get up. They took their time because nothing else really mattered at the moment.

"Love you too, Tsuki~"

Katsuki laid his head on his shoulder, the perfect angle to just—he leaned in and pressed his lips to Eijirou's neck before he bit down a little. Enough to leave a notable hickey as he sucked on the area for a moment.

Eijirou squirmed at the contact but let it happen, knowing he left several on Katsuki already.

Katsuki licked over it before turning away.

It was silent for a moment.

He knew he needed to talk about it. Even if Eijirou wouldn't push unless he really needed to and even then he would let it be on Katsuki's terms.

"She was talking about modeling again."

Eijirou looked up at him.

"I wasn't meant to hear, she was talking to Auntie Inko about how—" Katsuki laughed, trying not to cry again because really he knew it wasn't that bad.

She has said worse.

"It was just—I thought she was getting somewhere—you know, being accepting and shit—not that I need her validation but it just," Katsuki trailed off.

Eijirou hugged him closer, letting him rest his head on his shoulder and finish what he was saying even if it took another minute for him to continue.

"She said she sometimes misses when she had a daughter. That it was easier when I was a kid and she could brag about how pretty I was when I wore what she wanted."

Katsuki sniffled a little but didn't cry again at least. He felt exhausted with his thoughts already, crying again would only give him a headache.

Eijirou rubbed his back again.

"Kats, we both know you were a menace to society as a child," Eijirou stated.

The blond laughed, knowing his husband wasn't totally wrong about that.

"I mean you brought a bag of bugs to your grandad's funeral and put them in the coffin with him," Eijirou reminded him.

Katsuki smiled at the memory.

"You should have seen their faces," he chuckled.

"Menace," Eijirou muttered.

Katsuki pulled back, enough to look his husband in the face. "You only say that because you don't like bugs."

"They are fucking creepy," Eijirou commented matter of factly. "And you don't like spiders."

"Nothing needs to be staring at me on the ceiling when I'm naked and trying to shower—"

Eijirou smirked at him. "I mean—"

"Shut up."

Katsuki pushed him back, getting up after that because now that his mind wasn't actually wishing against him, he was able to function and he wanted food.

Eijirou got up with him, jumping from the bed with way too much fucking energy. While Katsuki tried to not walk with a damn limp.

As if reading his mind Eijirou smiled at him. "I'll go get the food, you get ready to re-watch Heartstopper for the millionth time."

"Idiot."

Katsuki pulled him down a little and leaned in and kissed him before he pulled away and headed to their connected bathroom.

Even if he was going to be eating soon he brushed his teeth. He washed his face and went through his skin care routine, not wanting to get a full-on shower yet. He could at least do the skin care for his face.

He looked over himself in the mirror when he was done.

His muscular stance left no question he was on track with where he wanted to be. He passed. He worked out to get where he was, not just physically but mentally, going to the gym or for hiking was something that helped him mentally too.

So he had a bad day.

It wasn't a bad life anymore.

He had help.

He put in the work and he was going to be doing better; out of spite if that's what it took.

He looked down and smiled at the clothes of his husband's on him and okay, maybe he was feeling a bit—no very fucking manly at the moment.

They were wrapped up on the couch, food was dished onto plates because take away or not Katsuki was not going to eat out of the containers.

"Love how he just gives him the gayest hug ever and Charlie still thinks he's straight. Tori at least sees it," Katsuki muttered, finishing chewing his bite of pizza.

Eijirou nodded. "I mean he is the sunshine boy."

Katsuki laughed. "Takes one to know one?"

Eijirou gasped. "Shut up."

Katsuki smirked and leaned closer. "Make me."

Eijirou calmly took their plates and set them on the coffee table before he tackled his husband. Kissing his face, his neck, and finally his lips.

"Eijirou," Katsuki laughed.

"Katsuki," Eijirou hummed, amused.

Katsuki couldn't help but smile to himself as his husband leaned down and shut him the fuck up.

THE END