Chapter 1: They're Going Crazy
Vegas wasn't happy. The plan wasn't supposed to go this badly. He was sure that his quirk had activated in the morning when he accidentally cooked his breakfast with rat poison. They didn't even have rat problems! It had to be then!
"Perjury. We're supposed to be standing in our hideout with all this gold."
"...Yeah."
Vegas' eye started twitching. "So tell me, where's our gold, and where are we?"
"Oh, don't worry about the gold. It's fine!" Perjury popped away as he teleported. That was his tell that he was lying.
"Perjury!" Vegas yelled out. No telling where Perjury was. Vegas didn't care about him though. Vegas was much more worried about the cat in Perjury's arms. "Damnit! Okay, fine. We'll work through this. Let's look around everyone! Find something to tell us where we are."
Meet the Challengers. The worst villains. The only reason they have a rank higher than F is because by pure chance, they haven't been caught yet.
"I found a broom!" Paranoia yelled out.
"I found a mop!" Fizzle said.
"How is that helping?" Vegas asked.
"It tells us we're in a janitor's closet." Crackpot mentioned.
"I found a W!" Twirler yelled out as loud as he could.
King said nothing. His brain was too squished like usual for him to speak.
Fizzle wandered to Twirler. It was a very big janitor's closet. "Twirler, you idiot! That's not a W, that says U and A." Fizzle paled. "Oh, shit. We're at UA."
Vegas facepalmed. "Okay. We can work around this. We just have to stay calm and--"
"Run away!!" Paranoia ran to the door and ran out it. Vegas looked over to what he ran away from. On the wall Paranoia was examining was a beetle.
I work with morons.
Crackpot walked out of the closet as well. "I'll grab Paranoia. I'll meet back here when I have him."
Vegas nodded, and Crackpot left. "Fizzle. We need to find Perjury. Take Twirler with you. I'll stick it out here with the big guy."
"Why can't you go with me?" Fizzle whined.
"Sure, because leaving Twirler and King together is a good idea."
Fizzle blinked and smiled. "See, we understand each other!"
Vegas could feel the veins in his brain about to pop with anger. "Get going!"
Twirler ran out without supervision. Fizzle was right behind him. Vegas sat down in front of King. "Okay, King, we're gonna get you outta here soon enough. Just stay put and we'll be back at our hideout soon enough."
King mouthed out a word. Vegas never was good at reading lips, but he thought he saw him say 'friend.'
Nezu was in his office enjoying a cup of tea. He needed the day to calm himself down. The entire year had been hectic. This was probably the first normal day he had since the first day of classes.
*POP*
Well, almost normal. Nezu blinked, thinking maybe he was just imagining it. Nope, still there. A man holding a cat with four eyes.
"Meow." The cat meowed meowingly, and jumped out of his hands.
"Um. Hey. I'm new here and I believe I'm a bit lost. Can you tell me where I am?" The man asked.
"Can you tell me how you got here?" Nezu replied.
"You know, answering a question with a question is rude. I'd never do it, personally."
*POP*
As soon as the man was there, he was gone. Nezu believed he was dreaming for a moment.
"Meow." Nezu looked over to see the orange cat walking over to his chair.
"Why, hello there, kitty! Do you have a name?" Nezu leaned over to examine the cat's collar. A headband much too large for the cat to be a proper collar. dangling at the bottom of it was a makeshift nametag. "Walrus, is it? Well, Walrus, you can stick around here until I finish my tea. Then, we're gonna try to find your owner." Nezu pet Walrus a bit.
"Meow." Walrus jumped up onto the desk and layed down.
Nezu grabbed his cup of tea and began to drink again. He could still enjoy this day, even with a cat here that wasn't his.
Perjury blinked and realized that he wasn't holding Walrus. "It'll be fine," Perjury said.
*POP*
"Okay, it won't be fine. But I can make this work out!"
*POP*
"I'll just focus on finding the rest of them first. I at least know where Walrus is."
*POP*
"THAT ONE WAS TRUE!"
*POP*
"Fine!" Perjury looked up. A classroom filled with students staring at him. "Hey, where am I?" He asked the class.
"UA, Who are you?" None of the students responded. Instead, the voice came from right behind him. He turned.
"Finally! Some answers!" He looked at the guy in front of him and froze. He didn't know a lot of heroes, but he could recognize Eraserhead. "Oh, hi! I'm just looking for the bathroom."
Eraserhead was staring him down, a glow in his eyes. "You seem to be lost." The scarf around his neck wrapped around Perjury. "I'm sure the police can guide you to where you need to be."
"I disagree. Cops and I don't get along too well." Perjury said as Eraserhead walked him out of the room. He was ignored, of course.
"Class president, keep your class here while I handle this." Eraserhead said.
"Yes, sir!" One of the kids yelled out. Then they were out in the hall.
"Can I at least get my cat?" Perjury asked.
"...No." The scarf came around to cover his mouth.
Vegas is going to kill me.
Twirler was on the move. That was never a good thing, Fizzle had come to realize. "So, buddy, can you tell me what you're doing?"
Twirler kept walking, "Spinner's enemies are here. I'm going to enact his will."
Fizzle's eyes widened. "Twirler, what does that even mean?"
"The League of Villains attacked this place. He's part of them. That must mean that UA is full of his enemies." Twirler pulled out a sword.
"I think you've mentioned that before," Fizzle said, avoiding the swing of the blade, "Remind me what Spinner's 'will' is?"
"What are you, stupid? Isn't it obvious?" Fizzle stayed silent for Twirler. "Spinning! Defeating your enemies while spinning is the best way to follow him!"
Fizzle stifled a laugh, "I'm sure you'll do great, Twirler. But maybe let's not look for a fight untill another time. That way... we can take out more of his enemies later on!"
Twirler paused. "That seems... good. Okay. We'll attack later."
"Yeah, we need to find Perjury first." Fizzle said, calmer now that Twirler wasn't thinking about a killing spree.
"AAAHH!!!" Someone screamed out behind one of the doors.
Fizzle thought to himself That's not my problem and did nothing.
Twirler thought to himself HOW DARE THIS DOOR SCREAM AT ME and proceeded to kick it down. "Die, loud door!!"
"I work with an idiot," Fizzle said to himself, then followed after him inside.
They weren't prepared to see anything and what they saw needed preparation. A weird furry white mouse dog thing running away from an orange fuzzy spider the size of a cow. The white thing ran around a desk and pressed a button, ignoring the two intruders, sounding an alarm. Twirler had no idea what he was looking at. Fizzle had seen this once before.
"Walrus! Calm down!" Fizzle yelled out. Walrus looked at Fizzle and hissed.
"Do I fight it?" Twirler asked, pulling out his swords.
"NO! That's Walrus! Vegas will kill you if she's dead." Fizzle grabbed a book and threw it at Walrus.
He missed spectacularly. The book flew through the air, hitting the poor victim of Walrus, then bouncing and hitting one of Walrus's legs.
"Ow!" The thing griped. It then ran out of the room, Walrus chasing after.
There's a certain point in which human instinct kicks in. A spider-cat thing the size of a cow crosses that point, to say the least.
And so, the three of them ran through the halls of UA, doing their best not to get eaten by this thing.
So much for Nezu's relaxing day.
"Paranoia, why would you run like that out the door? What if you got caught?" Crackpot was lecturing the coward.
"That was a really big beetle! What if it was poisonous?" Paranoia countered.
"...Then don't eat it?" Crackpot said.
"You know what I meant! You always have to be careful."
"Then maybe don't run out of a secluded area into the open where you can get caught!" Crackpot hit Paranoia on his helmet. "We already have to worry about Perjury and Walrus. The last thing we need is you getting captured."
"More of you? Great." Crackpot and Paranoia turned. A man held Perjury captive in a scarf.
"Mmf!" Perjury said, forgetting about the scarf.
"Perjury!" Crackpot yelled out. He rushed the man with the scarf. The scarf launched out, binding him as well. Some of the scarf came off of Perjury, enough to free Perjury's mouth.
"Run, Paranoia!" He yelled.
Paranoia ran, all right. Right at the man. He had no idea what he was gonna do, but he needed to do something.
"Idiot. Running right at an enemy that has you outmatched is a deathwish." The man said.
Paranoia ignored him. He pulled out a capsule and threw it at him. The capsule elongated, turning into a staff. He knocked it out of the way easily. The man was distracted enough to not notice the gun Paranoia pulled out. "Let my friends go!" Paranoia yelled at the man.
Eraserhead froze. He could easily take Paranoia out otherwise, but he couldn't risk a shot going off. "I can't do that. You're not going to get out of this if you shoot."
Paranoia began to back away. This is bad. I've got to get help. "Then how am I getting out of this?"
"If you put the gun down, then peacefully. There's no reason to shed any blood." Eraserhead moved forward slowly, trying to keep the distance between him and Paranoia. Maybe close it, if he could.
"Let my friends go, and there won't be any need to shed blood."
"I told you, I can't do that."
"Why not!?"
"...You managed to get into this school without setting off any alarms. We need to make sure that can't happen again." Eraserhead was closing the distance.
"Yeah, well we won't be doing that again. Just ask Perjury."
Eraserhead was close enough now to make a move. The scarf lunged forward, grabbing Paranoia's leg and tripping him. Eraserhead let out a sigh of relief. He hadn't realized how much adrenaline was coursing through him.
Or that Perjury had freed one of his arms.
"Oh, Eraserhead!" Eraserhead turned to him and found himself face to face with a spray can.
*HISS*
Eraserhead felt a burning sensation. A really bad one. One he hadn't felt in a long time. The feeling of pepper spray.
"AAH!" He yelled out. He brought his hands to his face, not touching, but just enough to cover his face. He lost control of the scarf and let all of them go.
"Sorry, Eraserhead!" Perjury yelled out, grabbing Paranoia and Crackpot. "I'm you're number one fan!"
*POP*
And so Eraserhead was left writhing in pain as an alarm sounded off.
"Shit! Stay here, King. I'm going to take a look around." Vegas walked over to the door and peeked out. There wasn't much he saw. The area was being evacuated, but there wasn't any panic.
Maybe it's like an alarm test? Vegas shook his head. His luck wasn't good enough to bother entertaining the thought.
"This can still work out. We just need to stay put. Once the building is clear, we can move out snd I can find Perjury and kill him." Vegas walked back over to King. "Can you do something for me, King?"
The hulking man said nothing, but looked at Vegas. "When we're ready to move, I'm going to have you fight. Is that okay? You don't have to." Vegas grabbed King's hand.
King nodded slowly. King would do anything for his friends.
Nezu jumped onto Fizzle's back. "Watch it, rat!" Fizzle said.
"How do we calm calm her down!?" Twirler yelled.
"If I knew, I'd have done just that!" Fizzle responded. "What did you even do to her!?"
"Nothing!" Twirler said.
"Not you!"
Nezu looked back at Walrus. "I tried to give her a treat and she just changed into... that!"
"You tried to FEED her!?" Fizzle and Twirler both shouted.
Nezu stayed silent. They turned the corner and saw students filling the hallway, blocking their path.
"Outta my way, children!" Twirler yelled. He started swinging his swords wildly.
The students obliged. They either moved to the side or started running too. A few prepared to fight until they saw Walrus. Screams filled the air.
"Twirler, knock it off!" Fizzle moved to the side as well, still running. "We need to find Vegas. He'll know what to do."
"Who?" Nezu asked.
"Vegas! Walrus's owner. He's the only one Walrus listens to."
"What about Perjury?" Twirler asked.
"He's a lost cause. And he moves around too much for us to even try searching for him." Fizzle said bluntly.
Fizzle was right. Perjury currently found himself in an abandoned building. He looked around for a moment. Looking at everyone around him. Paranoia, who was starting to get up off the ground, and Crackpot, who had his hand on Perjury's shoulder. At least he recognized them.
The other people he also recognized. He saw them on the news. He had brought himself face to face with the League of Villains. For a moment, nobody did anything.
"Hey, guys! I'm Perjury. Terribly sorry to barge in like this. I'll just take my friends and leave. Love the outfits, by the way."
*POP*
They arrived back at the school. In mid air. Probably about 1,000 feet in the air. Perjury started to freak out, naturally. As did Paranoia. Crackpot, however, stayed calm.
"Perjury! Tell a lie!" Crackpot said.
"I love you guys!"
*POP*
They found themselves on solid ground again. "That was rude," Crackpot said.
"I panicked! We could've died!" Perjury retorted.
"YOU could have died. I have no such luck." Crackpot responded.
"We get it, Crackpot. You can't die and that makes you sad. Boo hoo." Paranoia said, "Where are we now?"
"WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED!?!?" Vegas screamed at them.
"That answers that," Crackpot said to himself.
"We found Perjury. Now let's get out of here." Paranoia responded.
"Can't. Friends still gone." King said.
Nobody said a word. They looked at King in awe.
"He... actually spoke! That's a whole sentence!" Perjury exclaimed.
Vegas paused before saying anything. "... King's right. We need to wait for Fizzle and Twirler to get back. But at least you guys are back." Vegas frowned, realizing something wasn't right. "Where's Walrus?"
"What's your name, rat?"
"Stop calling me that!"
"Maybe I will, when you tell me your name!"
"Fizzle! There's a wall ahead!" Twirler interrupted the two of them.
Fizzle looked. There surely was a wall. "Who designed this school? You guys made a hall that leads nowhere!"
"Quiet! What do we do?" Nezu said. They reached the wall and turned to see Walrus stopped un front of them, in an attack stance.
Vegas is going to kill us, Fizzle thought to himself. "Fight!"
Twirler went left, Fizzle went right. Nezu stayed on Fizzle. Walrus focused on Twirler, eyeing the swords with caution. Then she hissed.
"I can do that too, Walrus! Hiss! Hiss!" Twirler said. In his head, he thought maybe they could bond over that and she'd calm down a bit.
She did not calm down. Instead, she leaped at Twirler, baring her fangs. He dodged by rolling under her. Usually not a good move when fighting a spider. This wasn't the exception. Walrus swiped at the man underneath her, knocking one of his swords away.
"Hey! Walrus! Quit it!" Fizzle threw whatever he could grab. In this case, it was a rock he left in his pocket by chance. Once again, he missed.
As he threw, it overshot, flying over Walrus's head. It bounced off the ceiling, hit the wall, and skidded to lightly tap her foot. An exceptionally bad move.
Walrus moved her foot stance while swiping away at Twirler, placing her foot on the rock and losing her balance. Not enough to fall, but just enough for Twirler to run behind her, grab his sword, and start running away.
"Find Vegas, Fizzle!"
"Where?" Fizzle asked.
"Do you not remember where he was?" Twirler turned behind to see Fizzle start chasing after him.
"I probably would have, but SOMEONE decided to run off to enact Spinner's will." Fizzle retorted.
"Who?" Twirler asked with a straight face. Most people would think he was joking. Fizzle knew better.
"Rat thing! Take us to a janitor's closet.'"
Nezu sighed, ignoring the insult. "Take a left here."
Vegas may as well have kicked the door down when Perjury said what happened to Walrus. He didn't say a word as he swung the door open and walked out of the closet with the rest of The Challengers following behind. "We find Walrus, then we leave. Plain and simple. If anyone gets in our way, then King will take care of them."
"Vegas, this place is massive. We should have someone stay behind to grab Fizzle and Twirler when they come by," Crackpot said.
"Doesn't matter right now. They at least can stick together. Walrus is alone, and probably terrified." Vegas shuddered at the idea of Walrus being all alone. Paranoia and Perjury gave each other a look. They were smart enough not to say anything.
As they walked down the hallway, they saw a hero on the other end of the hallway.
Hound Dog.
The Challengers stopped. They heard the stories of him. Any villain of their standing would've surrendered immediately.
Vegas, however, stood his ground. He had a cat to save, after all. "Surrender and we won't hurt you," Vegas said.
"Surrender?!" Hound Dog said. "If you think I'm going to surrender to the likes of YOU, YOUVGAHNOTHRTHNCOMN!!" Hound Dog rushed towards them.
"Now, King!"
King's body began to coat itself with metal. His form shifted, growing larger and larger. Teeth grew longer and sharper, eyes changing to a more prehistoric nature.
Hound Dog slowed his run, now realizing he may be outclassed.
He wasn't equipped to fight a T-Rex.
A roar broke throughout the halls. Fizzle and Twirler looked at each other. "That's King! What's he doing?" Fizzle said.
"Why should I know?" Twirler asked.
"...It was rhetorical. We've gotta be close." They turned the corner and came to a fight between The Challengers and Hound Dog. "Make way for Walrus!" Fizzle yelled out, running past Hound Dog.
Hound Dog turned, just in time to see Walrus pounce onto him, clawing away.
"AAHGETHSTHNGOFFME!"
"Walrus! Are you okay?" Vegas ran over to Walrus, ignoring the principal on Fizzle's back. Walrus jumped off Hound Dog, changing back to the familiar form of the lovable house cat.
"Meow!" Walrus ran up to Vegas's leg and started rubbing up to him. Vegas picked her up.
"I was so worried! Let's get you home safe," he walked back to The Challengers and said, "Perjury, take us home."
"You heard Vegas, rat. Get off!" Fizzle said, grabbing Nezu and tossing him over to Hound Dog. "It was nice to meet you, whatever your name is!"
*BANG*
A shot echoed through the hall. The Challengers turned. Behind them was the reinforcements. Snipe, Ectoplasm, and Present Mic.
"That was a warning shot. Come quietly." Snipe aimed the gun at Crackpot.
King began to change back to human form, raising his hands into the air.
"Perjury, now would be a good time," Paranoia said, linking hands with Crackpot and Fizzle.
"No kidding! I was just waiting for the right time!" Perjury said, grabbing King and Fizzle. "It's been interesting, heroes! The Challengers send their regards!" Vegas put his hand on Perjury's shoulder, with Twirler grabbing onto King. "Love your work Present Mic!"
*POP*
And they were gone, the only traces they were ever there being the injuries Eraserhead and Hound Dog experienced.
"Perjury."
"...Yeah?"
"Do you know where we are?"
"...I had heard Siberia was nice this time of year."
*POP*