"No one tells Jay." She said quietly, narrowing her eyes at Vivienne since she was the most likely to go against her wishes.

Sure enough her arms crossed but she cut her off. "Tess-"

"My life. My call." She held the redhead's gaze for a long moment until her emerald eyes softened and she nodded.

Her life.

Her call.

Hers.

She had done this.

She had made this choice and maybe she hadn't known exactly what would happen but she'd known what she was risking and she'd done it anyway. She just… Nothing could have prepared her for how much it was going to hurt.

Maybe because she hadn't actually thought he would listen to her.

Mouse hadn't, he hadn't found her yet but he was still looking, still flooding every inbox he knew was related to her with messages, some kind, some furious, all of them pleading for her to just fucking answer him. But she hadn't because she couldn't. She wasn't done yet, wasn't safe yet which meant he wasn't safe either. But Jay… One text. That was all he'd sent. One text telling her to be safe and to come home. Just one. And yes she was the one who'd left, who'd fucking disappeared like she had promised him she would never do again and yes she was the one who'd blocked him from sending any more but she'd taken that off weeks ago and he hadn't tried again. He hadn't done anything and that… That fucking hurt. Tess hadn't been able to feel anything for the past two months but she could feel that.

That had broken something she hadn't ever thought would.

Something she'd ever thought could.

She shut her phone off as soon as she heard footsteps behind her but as much as she had changed it wasn't surprising that it only took her friend a glance at her face to know what she'd been doing. She'd been caught staring at his several times but they all knew by now not to comment on it. And Vivienne didn't. She just jumped up to sit beside her, quiet for a few moments as they stared out at the sunset together; she couldn't even remember what city they were in right now. She didn't remember what day it was. But when her friend wrapped her arm around her shoulders even though she couldn't feel the comfort she was trying to provide she remembered what it felt like, remembered that that was what she was trying to get back to.

"I've got you." Vivienne said hoarsely, her eyes so similar to Jay's it was hard to hold them. But she didn't care. "I've got you and I'm not letting go."

She hadn't.

Even when she'd told her to, nicely and viciously, even when she had made it almost impossible for her to she hadn't let her go.

Her best friend.

"This is pathetic."

"Yes it is." Vivienne said with a laugh as she sat back next to her on the floor in front of the couch, passing her a new glass of wine before she grabbed a hunk of fresh bread and meat for herself- a far cry from the days they'd sat here drinking tequila to drown their sorrows.

Her sorrows.

"But given that you have been a non-stop badass for the past two years I forgive you."

"You've forgiven me for too much."

"Here we go." Viv said exasperatedly, shaking her head with a grin when she cocked her own at her.

At this point this conversation was so routine they could both probably do it in their sleep, and if her friend was to be believed she had done that, a couple of times but Tess didn't care. She wasn't ever going to stop.

She didn't deserve to stop apologizing and Vivienne didn't deserve to stop hearing it.

Not after all she'd put up with.

"I put you in danger."

"My job is danger." She countered with an exaggerated roll of her eyes, taking another sip as she dropped a bit of meat for Aelin who was curled up between them. "My life is danger. My middle name, is danger."

"I jeopardized your career."

"You did but then you got rid of all the old white men who would've blacklisted me so it's even."

"I'm in love with a man you hate."

At last she sucked in a big breath, letting it out slowly before she slowly shook her head again. "That is the only thing I am angry at you for."

She should be angry for a lot more, a lot worse but Tess would take what she could get.

They fell silent for a moment, Vivienne looking at the apartment around them while Tess looked at her. They both had a love/hate relationship with this place, for almost entirely the same reasons; her because it reminded her of Jay, a sanctuary for her to come to when she couldn't go to him and Vivienne because it also reminded her of him. Of how he was no longer the safe place he'd always promised to be. That was her fault too but her friend didn't see it that way. It was only her love for her that could get her to come here, something curled lip made clear as she glanced at all the shades of green, the colours of his eyes.

And hers.

"I thought of you too."

"You thought of him first."

"I brought you here first. And I did think of you."

"I know you did." She said softly, taking her hand with a tight squeeze before she huffed. "You couldn't have fallen in love with me, huh?"

It would've made things a lot easier.

"I do love you."

"You don't love my vagina."

"… do you love my vagina?" Tess asked slowly, fairly certain she knew the answer but open to the possibility.

She'd been with women before, been with Vivienne but it wasn't the same.

And they weren't Jay.

"No." She said with annoyance and with one look they burst out laughing, startling Aelin who chirped before snuggling closer.

Each of them did the same, letting go of their hands to wrap their arms around the others waists, their heads resting together.

"I've still got you." Viv whispered and Tess nodded, smiling as she pressed a kiss to her shoulder.

"And I've got you."

That was what best friends did. They were there for you, even if they didn't agree with the choices you were making.

"Why are you doing this? Why are you giving him the chance to hurt you again?"

"Because I love him."

"So love him. Love him and wish him fucking light but do it from distance." Vivienne was pleading with her but it wasn't anger or even frustration in her voice it was fear. "Do not let him hurt you again."

"I hurt him first."

"I don't give a shit who started this, I care that you fought for him and he didn't do shit for you." She snapped and each of them sucked in a breath, Tess slow and steady while Viv was sharp and short, giving each other similar expressions across the screen.

She'd known her friend wasn't going to be happy about her coming back to Chicago, especially because she'd been under the impression she was going up to Tofino. That had been the plane but when she'd been waiting at the airport she'd heard the call for Chicago come over and the speakers and had just… Moved.

Followed that tug she'd never been to get rid of it.

"He deserves to be happy, Viv. Even if that's not with me-"

"Oh my god." She said slowly, but not at all haltingly, the understanding, and resulting anger in her voice making her balk. "You found him with someone else didn't you? Let me guess, the partner? Again?"

The laugh she let out then was so vicious Tess actually cringed. "He deserves to be happy-"

"So. Do. You. And you deserve it a lot more than he does."

"You're my best friend, you have to say that." She said quietly after a moment of silence, her lips automatically quirking at her friend's loud huff.

"I wouldn't be your best friend if I didn't believe that." Vivienne said with another huff, looking off-screen for another minute, her jaw working as she forced herself to make peace with this.

Whatever… this was.

Because she had seen Jay with his partner, Hailey Upton, had recognized the look of tender care in his eyes when he stared at the woman, the way he'd stared at Erin. The way he used to stare at her. Tess wasn't going to get in the way of his happiness, not a chance in hell, not over her dead fucking body but… she also couldn't bring herself to leave either. Jay was her home, now, still but so was Chicago. She'd made sure that it would be but even though this would always be a place she came back to she didn't want to come back, she wanted to stay.

For the first time in five years she actually wanted to stay somewhere.

"I love him. But I am doing this for myself."

"You still want him." Vivienne said knowingly and though her throat went thick she nodded. "Fine. But if he's at your end I better fucking be there too you hear me?"

"I've got you."

Tess had Vivienne and Vivienne had her.

Jay had her and she had Jay.

But what about them?

"I believe they are done now."

Done as in they were finished?

Or done as in they were okay?

Cas didn't elaborate so with a shaky breath and shaky legs she stood, staring at her shaky hand as it settled on the doorknob before she forced herself to open it, freezing at the sight of them sitting next to each other on the bed. They were smiling.

They were holding hands.

"So… are we fucking?"

The tremor that ran through her when they burst out laughing was so strong her knees buckled and she had to grip the door to stay upright, barely acknowledging the hope that flickered in her chest.

Everything is going to be okay.

"Well?" Jay asked Vivienne, cocking his eyebrow at her like she'd seen him do a thousand times.

"I think right now I just want you as my brother." She told him with an also familiar wry yet soft smile.

"Well you are from the South."

Now she shoved him, not an angry push but a teasing one and somehow Tess made it the few steps to sit between them, unable to stop her tears when they both wrapped their arms around her and squeezed.

They were okay.

Everything was going to be okay.

"We got you." Vivienne whispered, brushing away those tears with a sad and small but loving smile.

Hopeful.

"We've got each other." Jay said firmly, pressing a kiss to each of their foreheads before he squeezed them tighter.

To whatever end.

No.

To their end.