Sorry for the long wait. Application season's a bitch.
Also, has anyone else ever had trouble getting notifications from fanfiction? I already whitelisted them, but I still keep getting the same error message over and over.
Beta-read by Pure Red Crane
Lesson 8: 'Tourist Price' is Just Another Term for 'Sucker Tax'
The interior of the old castle was exactly as one would expect: dust-covered surfaces, decaying wooden floors, and moldy tatami mats strewn about. Brook bumped his head into a low-hanging beam while Kagura tripped over a displaced vase. When Carrot found a place to sit, the rotten wood gave way under her, causing her to fall on her butt. The crash caused another piece of wood to fall and nail Chopper right on the head.
"Shishishi, this place is filthy!" Luffy laughed as everyone tried to find a safe place to settle down.
Kin'emon frowned. "Indeed. I'm sorry to admit that these ruins will be serving as our base of operations for now."
"How can you live in this mess? You need to take responsibility for your space, young man. No excuses." Kagura lectured the samurai.
"What are you, his mom?!" Shinpachi retorted.
Kin'emon coughed into his hand sheepishly in response before sitting alongside Kiku and Momonosuke, opposite to the Straw Hats and the Yorozuya, Law standing to the side. "Regardless, I'm glad you all made it here! First things first…"
Shinpachi interrupted him. "Um… I'm sorry to interrupt, but are you sure you want us here? We're not exactly part of your group." Shinpachi and Kagura sat near the back, their still-unconscious boss lying behind them.
"Oh yeah, I almost forgot! You're friends with Kagura and Permy, right? And you helped Sanji and the others find their way here. Thanks for that, Glasses!" Luffy grinned in gratitude.
"Um, no problem, Luffy-san. Also, I have a name. It's Shinpachi…" He sweatdropped, already disliking the fact that he got such a crappy nickname from a guy he had just met.
"Sorry about that, Shinpachi-san. It takes time for Luffy to learn names." Sanji apologized for his captain.
"Even so, we are grateful for all you've done for us. And to think your friends were with ours this whole time." Carrot said.
"How did you even end up meeting these guys-aru? Luffy hired us to find them, but you were already ahead of us." Kagura asked.
Shinpachi scratched his cheek. "It's a bit of a long story, but it all happened yesterday afternoon…"
As storm clouds gathered, the cliffside cove stood resolute. Ancient rocks, shaped by centuries of waves, loomed like sentinels guarding the sea's secrets. Rain fell, tapping on the jagged stones, while distant thunder and lightning played a dramatic symphony. Waves crashed with unrestrained fury, sending salty spray into the stormy sky. Amidst this spectacle, the cove appeared vulnerable yet untamed, a testament to nature's raw power and the land's enduring beauty.
"L-O-V-E, O-TSU-CHAN! L-O-V-E, O-TSU-CHAN! CAN YOU HEAR US?! YEAH!"
Standing at the clifftop, completely killing the mood, Shinpachi stood firm as he shouted against the storm. With two glowsticks in hand, his signature "I Heart Otsu" headband wrapped tight around his head and draped in a dark blue kimono made even darker by the rain drenching it, he danced and cheered his heart out as the wind and waves raged on. After all, if he couldn't fight back against the forces of nature, then he would have no right to continue calling himself the president of the Terakado Tsuu Imperial Guards.
So here he was, enduring the cold and rain in the name of harsh training in preparation for his favorite idol's next live concert. He figured he would continue for another hour or so until a series of yells broke his concentration. He looked around in confusion, trying to find the source, but the howling wind made it difficult to pinpoint. The terrified yells got louder as Shinpachi finally looked up to see what appeared to be five people falling out of the sky!
"What the–?!" The rest of his response was cut off as two split off and crashed right on top of him. Stars danced in his eyes as he tried to recover his wits.
"Oh dear! Are you alright? I'm terribly sorry for that."
"I'll be better once you get off…me." This last part came out as more of a squeak as Shinpachi quickly sat himself up, coming face to face with a living skeleton.
"Hello! Would this happen to be the Land of Wano?" The skeleton politely asked with a smile.
"GYAAAHH! A SKELETON! A SKELETON WITH AN AFRO!" Shinpachi shrieked as he quickly backpedaled into a tree.
"Ouch, my head…" The second one to collide with Shinpachi slowly sat itself up, continuing to freak out the bespectacled teen further.
"That tanuki just talked!"
"I'm a reindeer, asshole!" It quickly snapped at him. "Wait, we don't have time for this. Where did the others go?"
"Chopper! Brook! Where are you guys?!" a feminine voice called out from beyond the brush.
"We're over here!"
"Come quick! Sanji's hurt!" cried another female voice, sounding more distressed.
Chopper and Brook forgot about Shinpachi as they rushed over to check on their friends. Against his better judgment, Shinpachi followed behind them to see what was happening. He broke into a clearing in the forest to see the two creatures standing side by side with a beautiful woman with orange hair and what appeared to be a rabbit girl. The odd group was surrounding a blonde-haired man as his head lay cradled in the former's lap, blood flowing heavily from a large gash on his forehead.
"He took that large piece of debris to the face when we were fleeing the ship. Even after being hurt so badly, he still protected the two of us." The rabbit girl sobbed.
The reindeer grimaced. "I can patch him up, but we need to find shelter fast so he can rest properly."
Many things were going through Shinpachi's mind at that moment. He still didn't know who or what these people were, but they were obviously foreigners. If he was caught with these people, there was a chance he could be punished, too. But deep down, as he looked at the concerned faces of the group looking down at their wounded comrade, he knew what he needed to do. He was a samurai, and when a samurai had something he needed to do, he acted, whether that meant picking up a sword or lending a helping hand.
"Um, pardon me," Shinpachi said nervously, catching everyone's attention. "Do you guys need assistance?"
The last thing Sanji remembered was a large, heavy branch spiraling through the air and cracking him clean across the face. As he lost his balance and plummeted, he did what he could as he tucked the ladies close to him and shielded them with his body before blacking out. Now, he found himself in a large open room. The panel doors opened to a small fenced-in courtyard, the morning sunlight passing through the trees. There was no trace of the rainstorm left. Sanji surveyed himself. He was shirtless, lying in a futon spread out for him. He reached up to his head to feel tight bandages wrapped around him. He smacked his mouth; it was dry and ashy. The doors in front of him slid open with a clatter.
"Sanji, you're up!" Chopper moved over to him. Following behind him was a beautiful young woman wearing a flowery pink yukata and a gentle smile as she brought in a basket of fresh linens.
"I'm glad to see you're finally awake. Your friends were pretty worried about you." The woman said as she set the basket down. Without missing a beat, Sanji leaped up, took a knee, and took her hand in his.
"I, too, am glad to awaken finally. Being greeted by such a gorgeous woman highlights my joy this fine morning!"
"Your friends warned me that you would be like this." She said with a smile, maintaining her composure to not slug the already wounded man. "Still, Dr. Chopper, are you sure you need my help? I really should go back to helping Shin-chan in the kitchen."
"N-no! Trust me, Tae-san, I could really use your help here with this!" Chopper nervously answered. Sanji raised an eyebrow in confusion.
"Where are we?" Sanji finally asked.
"You're currently at Kodokan, the Shimura Family's Dojo. I am the eldest child, Shimura Tae." She gave a small, respectful bow. "You and your friends were brought here last night by my little brother. You were in pretty bad shape."
"I'm sorry if we put you out." The cook apologized.
"Don't worry about that. It would be unbecoming of a samurai's family to turn away people in need."
Sanji smiled gratefully. "Thank you."
"We're just going to change your bandages one last time. The others are waiting in the next room." Chopper held up some fresh bandages from the basket Otae brought.
After swapping out the bandage around his head for a fresh one and checking his wound, they were glad to see he was already healing up nicely. After Chopper gave him the thumbs up, the three joined the others in the dining room.
"Sanji-kun, you're up!" Nami said.
"Glad to see you recover so quickly, Sanji-san," Brook commented as he sipped some tea.
"Thank goodness." Carrot sighed in relief.
"Nami-swan! Carrot-chan! Are you two alright!?" Sanji danced over to the two girls in lover-boy mode.
"Yes, we're fine." Nami sweatdropped.
"Wait, what about me?" Brook pointed at himself.
"What about you?" Sanji questioned.
"That's cold, Sanji-san."
"I'm just finishing up breakfast for Sanji-san. It may take a bit more time to get everyone else. We never had this many mouths to feed before." Shinpachi called over from the kitchen.
"Oh, well, let me help then, Shin-chan." Otae started rolling up her sleeve.
"NO!" Everyone quickly shouted in terror. The Straw Hats didn't even think it was possible, but the gentle-looking woman before them was somehow an even worse cook than Luffy. What was once a delicious carton of eggs was reduced to some form of unknown dark matter that sucked the life out of all around it. They weren't even sure if Luffy could stomach such a thing.
As a matter of fact, Sanji had been in and out of consciousness for the last couple of hours, having repeatedly knocked himself out after continuously eating Otae's rolled omelets, refusing to let food made by a beautiful woman go to waste. It got so bad that Shinpachi and Chopper had to make up some excuse to get her out of the kitchen before it became life-threatening. In truth, this was the fifth time Sanji had woken up, each time having his memories robbed by the esoteric dark matter.
"I-I mean, you've already done so much. You probably want to relax a little, hehe." Nami stuttered as she came up with an excuse.
Sanji approached Shinpachi. "They're right. Pardon me, but do you mind if I take over from here?"
"What? But you're still injured."
"Don't worry. You and your sister have already done so much, and I feel much better. Whipping up a meal is the least I can do." Sanji stated as he began rolling up his sleeves.
Sanji quickly got to work, eventually creating an amazing-looking spread out on the table. Shinpachi and Otae could hardly believe their eyes. The miso soup, infused with seaweed and adorned with tender tofu, took center stage. Coated in a mouthwatering marinade, the perfectly grilled fish beckoned them closer. Sanji's sweet tamagoyaki, delicate and soy-infused, offered a delightful contrast. Natto, usually an acquired taste, was transformed into a delicacy with a drizzle of soy sauce and a hint of mustard. The steamed rice formed the foundation, allowing the flavors to meld together. The siblings knew there wasn't much to work with in their kitchen, but somehow, the man managed to create the most extravagant meal they had ever seen in all their lives in less than twenty minutes. The taste was out of this world, putting the restaurants they were familiar with in Kabuki-chō to shame.
"I can't even remember the last time I had a meal like this," Shinpachi said with tears streaming down his face.
"Well, Sanji-kun is one of the best cooks in the world." Nami bragged.
"Clearly. You are a master of your craft." Otae complimented the blonde.
"Hearing you lovely ladies compliment my food nourishes me in ways I can't begin to describe." Sanji danced around with hearts in his eyes at the praise, causing everyone to sweatdrop and chuckle.
"That was a fantastic meal. We're grateful." Shinpachi thanked him.
"No problem. It's the pride of a chef to feed hungry people." Sanji said with a smile.
"Now that you are awake and everyone is fed, allow us to reintroduce ourselves. I am Shimura Tae, eldest daughter of the Kodokan Dojo." Otae bowed as she greeted her guests.
"Shimura Shinpachi, eldest son of the Kodokan Dojo." Shinpachi mimicked his sister.
Sanji sat himself down next to his friends across from the siblings. "It's nice to meet you two. My name is Sanji. I'm sure the rest of my friends here have already introduced themselves to you while I slept."
"Yes. They also told me what brings you here to our country. Oh, don't worry, we won't tell anyone." Otae said in response to Sanji's surprised expression.
"That's right. Kin'emon told us this country was closed off to keep foreign influences out. I imagine Nami-san only told them that we came to meet with our friends and not about the rebellion planned. Us just being here could cause a lot of trouble for these two." Sanji thought to himself.
"Thank you for that." Chopper nodded.
Shinpachi spoke up again. "How are you going to find your friends? This country isn't exactly the smallest or the safest."
"Thank you for your concern, but we know how to handle ourselves. We have a method to find at least one of them." Nami said as she reached into her cleavage and pulled out a slip of paper, much to the embarrassment of Shinpachi.
"I'm sorry if we caused any trouble for you or the students." Carrot apologized.
"Oh, don't fret about that. This dojo hasn't seen students in a long time." Otae replied.
Chopper tilted his head quizzically. "Why is that?"
"Well, with the sword ban imposed nationwide, only bakufu officials can wield weapons. As a result, most of our students quit."
"That's awful." Nami expressed her sympathy.
"Yes, our dojo can stay open through my brother's and I's hard work. It's challenging, but we do it to honor our father's legacy."
"Your father sounds like he was a lucky man to have fine children such as yourself." Brook complimented.
"Thank you, Brook-san."
"With that in mind, Otae-san, if it's not too much trouble, may I ask to see your pant—"
THWACK
Before Brook could finish his sentence, Otae had picked up a naginata (where did that even come from?!) and flung it with enough force to embed it deeply into the wall behind him, passing by his face just close enough to shave off a few hairs from his afro – all this while wearing the same gentle smile. "I'm sorry. There was a mosquito buzzing past you. What did you want to ask?"
"N-n-never mind." He trembled. He suddenly got a deep impression that those would have genuinely been his final words had he finished his sentence.
"You weren't kidding about being a samurai's daughter," Nami remarked, a nervous sweat forming on her brow at their hostess's sudden shift in demeanor.
"Well, of course. As the eldest, it is a must for me to know how to defend myself. You never know when you have to worry about pirates, perverts, or gorilla-stalkers in the area."
"Is that last one usually a problem around here?" Carrot asked, perplexed.
"You'd be surprised. Especially with that last one." Shinpachi sweatdropped.
This caught Sanji's attention. "Wait, what?! You're saying you have an actual stalker, Otae-chan?!"
Otae touched her cheek as a slight frown crossed her face. "Yes. For two years now, I have been unable to shake him. He just won't give up."
"That sounds terrible." Nami empathized.
"I won't stand for this!" Sanji shot to his feet as he rushed towards the open patio and cried out for the whole neighborhood to hear. "Reveal yourself, you pervert!"
"Who are you calling a pervert?!" said pervert retorted as he burst out of his hiding spot in the ground-level cabinet.
Chopper's eyes nearly popped out of his head. "He actually revealed himself! He didn't even try to hide!"
"Kyah!" Nami and Carrot clutched each other in surprise.
"Oh my." Brook gasped as he held a bony hand up to his mouth in shock. Shinpachi sighed as he continued sipping his tea.
Sanji confronted the gorilla stalker. "You bastard, what do you think you're doing, threatening Otae-chan's peace of mind?!"
"I can say the same of you. Nobody with swirly eyebrows can be that trustworthy." He accused, acting as if he wasn't just a creep himself.
"You're just some criminal! We should be calling the police on you!" Sanji roared.
"Actually, Sanji-san, he is the police," Shinpachi revealed.
"...Huh?"
"This is the chief of the Shinsengumi police force, Kondo Isao," Shinpachi sighed as he introduced the man.
"That's right! How dare you compare me to a common criminal. The only things I steal are hearts." Kondo pointed a thumb at himself, flashing his most charming smile. Sanji was not impressed.
"Why are you acting so damn smug about this?! Why are you trying to act all suave?! It's pissing me off! You're just some dirty old pervert!"
"Dirty?! I'll have you know I clean myself every day, down to my last ass hair. I'm as clean as a baby!"
"No one wants to know that!" Nami retorted.
"Enough of this!" Sanji raised a leg, igniting it. "On my pride as a gentleman and a chef, I'll kick your ass into next week!"
Kondo responded in kind, placing a hand on the hilt of his sword and adopting a fighting stance." Oh yeah? Well, on my pride as a samurai and a stalker, I will not let you deceive Otae-san!"
"Only one of those things should be a point of pride." Shinpachi deadpanned.
"OOOOAAAAAHH!" Kondo and Sanji charged at each other, ready to beat the crap out of each other.
"Please, gentlemen..." Otae intervened after a long silence, but their battle cries drowned out her voice. She eventually lost her patience. "Don't fight in my house!" she roared, slamming her fists into both their cheeks, sending them flying out the open door and crashing through the fence onto the street.
BAM! CRASH!
The Straw Hats could only gape at this impressive feat of power. "…Looks like your sister knows how to handle herself…" Nami finally found her voice again.
"You have no idea," Shinpachi remarked as he finished his tea.
After that epic showdown, Shinpachi returned the Strawhats to the cove where he first met them. Guided by the vivre card, Sanji dove into the sea and brought up the other half of the paper, but there was no sign of the person it was meant to be with. Now, the group of six found themselves back on the bustling streets of Kabuki-chō.
"Damn it, how could that idiot lose his vivre card? How does he expect us to find him now?" Sanji grumbled to himself.
"Well, at least we know he's alive. That's what's important." Brook tried to placate the chef from behind his mask. "By the way, Shinpachi-san, were these the only disguises we could find? I can feel my cheeks flushed with embarrassment…Oh, but I don't have cheeks. Yohohohohoho!"
To keep themselves from standing out too much, they doubled back to the dojo and dug up some extra clothes to help them blend in. This, unfortunately, had the opposite effect since the only spare clothes they could provide were the uniforms of Shinpachi's die-hard idol fan club. As a result, Brook, Chopper, and Carrot were left to play the inconspicuous trio, skillfully concealed behind Otsu masks. It definitely raised some eyebrows, but it was better than having people freak out at the sight of the walking skeleton and human-animal hybrids.
"Where are we even going, anyways?" Nami finally asked.
"If your friend is alive and somewhere in Kuri, it'd be best to have more people to expand our search. We should find someone who knows the region well. We'll stop by my workplace and get my coworkers to help." Shinpachi explained.
"Your coworkers? What kind of place is it? Would they really help us?" Sanji questioned.
"They would. This is what we do, after all. Oh, I suppose I should explain more. Here." Shinpachi dug into his pocket, pulled out a business card, and handed it to Sanji. In simple ink text, it read "Yorozuya Gin-chan."
Chopper tilted his head. "Yorozuya? What's that?"
"We're a versatile business that tackles all sorts of tasks for the right compensation. I'm confident we can help you find your friend."
"Oh, yeah, Tae-san mentioned this boss of yours before. Gin-san, right? She said that you worked for some lazy guy who spends your salary on buying sweets for himself instead of actually paying you."
"...Anyways, our office is near the center of Kabuki-chō, so stick close," Shinpachi said with a smile.
"He's not denying it." The Straw Hat crew thought to themselves, suddenly concerned as to whether this Gin guy could actually help them. Regardless, they did trust Shinpachi, and until they could find a way to contact Kin'emon, he was all they had.
"Still, you said you do any job for a price, right?" Nami began.
"Well, we are a business," Shinpachi rubbed the back of his head.
Nami leaned down slightly to meet Shinpachi eye-to-eye, making sure to flash a good amount of cleavage in the process. "Well, considering we only just arrived in this country, perhaps you can get us a markdown price." She smiled warmly as she 'negotiated' with him.
Shinpachi's face went bright red as he began to stammer. He was a virgin, after all. He had no natural defense against an attack like this. He was snapped out of it as he took notice of Sanji behind her, gritting his teeth and aura aflame around him in jealousy.
"Y-yo-you'll have to negotiate that with Gin-san! I'm sure he'll accommodate you and your friends somehow!" Shinpachi quickly turned his head away and fixed his glasses as he tried to regain his composure.
As the group of six made their way through town, they soon took notice of alarm bells ringing far in the distance.
"What is that?" Carrot wondered.
"It sounds like the fire bell. Look." Shinpachi pointed to a growing tower of smoke in the distance. "It looks like it's coming from Bakura-chō, the next town over."
A large squad of men came rushing past them towards the smoke tower, carrying ladders and water buckets. Behind them was a blonde-haired woman with a white headband holding up her hair and carrying a fire extinguisher.
"Tatsumi-san! What's going on?" Shinpachi called out to the woman, catching her attention.
"Shinpachi-san! Sorry, I can't stay too long. Apparently, there was some kind of scuffle in Bakura-chō, and a fire broke out in one of the homes. We gotta hurry over. Stay away from the officials' town for a bit. No doubt they're gonna be all on edge after this."
As Tatsumi raced after her comrades, the Straw Hat crew all came to the same thought: some kind of trouble in a town full of officials? It was most likely Luffy. But they had no way to corroborate that, so all they could do was cross their fingers and hope their idiot captain didn't already get into trouble.
"Why did she warn us to avoid the town?" Chopper looked up at Shinpachi.
"Bakura-chō is where the officials loyal to Shogun Orochi and the Beast Pirates live. In many ways, it's more dangerous than Kabuki-chō."
"Have you ever been there?" Nami asked.
"A couple of times, whenever we're on jobs. Otherwise, it's best to avoid it."
As the group continued on their way, Shinpachi explained more about life in Kuri: The destitution of Okobore-chō, the flagrant wealth of Bakura-chō, and the middle ground represented by Kabuki-chō between the two.
"That's horrible." Nami frowned at hearing the terrible state the country was in. It was no wonder Kin'emon and Momonosuke were so desperate to save it and why they would risk life and limb to find allies to help their cause. After her experiences with Arlong and her home island, it was a feeling she could understand deeply. She was stopped before responding further as a shimmering red rose was held up to her face.
"Excuse me, miss, but I couldn't help but notice that your smile seems to be playing hide and seek today. Allow me to be the sunshine that brings it out. Is there a story behind those beautiful eyes that I could help brighten with a little charm and laughter?" The rose in question came from a handsome man with golden hair and bright blue eyes, a dark magenta robe slung over his kimono. Flanking his sides were a quartet of equally attractive men.
"Thank you." Nami accepted the rose graciously. Sanji was less pleased.
"Hey! Keep your hands away from Nami-swan!" Sanji roared. "Who the hell do you think you are?!"
"Sanji-san, please calm down!" Shinpachi tried to assuage the chef. "Kyotsuru-san, it's good to see you, but we can't stay."
Honjou Kyotsuru gave a slight bow. "My apologies. It just felt like I needed to act. I couldn't continue calling myself the number one host in Kabuki-chō if I allowed a frowning woman to pass me by. If you're not in too much of a rush, I'd like to welcome you to Takamagahara."
"No thanks," Sanji replied gruffly.
"Don't be like that, good sir. You and your friends are also more than welcome." As Kyotsuru extended his invite, another man appeared behind Sanji with a unibrow, nose hair joined up with his sideburns, and a humongous black afro that put Brook's to shame.
"Hm, not bad…the swirly eyebrows are new, but I think the guests would consider them unique. This one may have potential." the man known as Hachiro said as he walked around Sanji, inspecting him from every angle.
"Huh?" Sanji stammered.
"And here I thought you only knew how to pressure women, Kyotsuru-han." A new voice chimed in. The Straw Hats and hosts turned, meeting eyes with a gang of fierce-looking men. Leading them was a man wearing a red scarf with a piece of straw in his mouth and a large scar running from his forehead down to his left cheek.
Kyotsuru frowned. "Kurogoma-san, I thought I told you never to show yourself at the club during business hours."
The gangster just shrugged. "I never recall making any kind of promise like that. Besides, I live in this town just the same as you. You can't expect us never to run into each other."
Brook leaned over. "Shinpachi-san, these guys seem like trouble. Who are they?"
"The Dobunezumi Gang, the local yakuza. The man leading them is Kurogoma Katsuo, the current head. They've quieted down a bit since he took over, but it's still best not to cross them." Shinpachi whispered to the Straw Hats.
"I understand your point, Kurogoma-san, but let's not cause any trouble now. My guests are not involved in our affairs." Kyotsuru said, trying to de-escalate the situation. "I apologize, dear guests. You're all free to leave if you so wish."
"And who do you think made it possible for you to enjoy this freedom as we have it now? Without Boss Jirocho, this whole town would be stuck working in the factories." Kurogoma rebutted.
"Don't think it's just Jirocho who made that possible." A new voice joined in. As the group turned to meet the newcomers, a strangled yelp caught in Sanji's throat. Two years of haunting training flooded his memories as he locked eyes on the approaching group of okama, led by one with an orange bob cut and a prominent chin.
"If it weren't for Mademoiselle's own efforts, most of the samurai in this country would've been out of jobs." Azumi declared.
"What, you mean working in your tranny bar, where they can all become French bread like you? Not much of an improvement, I'd say."
"What was that about my chin, bastard?" Azumi gritted his teeth. The okama and gangsters bristled. Hachiro and the hosts behind him tensed up, clearly sensing an impending fight between the two Deva groups.
Sanji guided the girls. "Nami-swam, Carrot-chan, get behind me. Things are about to get ugly here." Brook and Chopper ducked behind Shinpachi, who was also tense but still kept his cool, being no stranger to brawls like this in Kabuki-chō. Kurogoma and Azumi stepped forward, determination etched on their faces.
POW!
Before they could even make a move, two massive green hands came out of nowhere and sent the two leaders flying into nearby fruit stands with a resounding blow.
"You all really should be more careful. You almost stepped on this poor ladybug." The being kneeled down and let the insect crawl up his finger. "Killing is wrong. All life is precious and should be treated with care."
Towering above everyone else, the colossal monster was a sight to behold. Muscles rippled beneath emerald skin. His terrifying face was framed by two menacing, ivory horns curving downwards. The monster's dark eyes, set deep within its visage, gleamed with unsettling intensity, with crimson pupils that seemingly pierced your very soul. But the most peculiar feature was the small, delicate pink flower perched on top of his head, starkly contrasting the creature's savage demeanor.
"Oh, Shinpachi-kun. Is that you? How have you been? Are these friends of yours? It's your neighbor, Hedoro." The creature pointed at himself, a macabre grin revealing a row of razor-sharp teeth, evoking a sense of utter dread. Everyone – gangsters, hosts, okama, and pirates alike – just fell silent, as if the very air itself robbed them of their voices. A particularly terrified Nami, Brook, Chopper, and Carrot could only stare with tears in their eyes and foam in their mouths, passed out cold while standing at the sight of the horrifying creature before them, asking courteously about their day.
"...Oh, would you look at the time! I just remembered there was something we needed to handle at the club. Welp, see you all later." One of the okama said quickly.
"And it's about time for us to feed Mera-chan, so we'll be heading out too." one of the Yakuza goons said in haste as the two groups quickly rounded up their unconscious and still bleeding leaders and booked it.
"We still have guest we need to attend to, so we shall take out leave as well." Kyotsuru maintained a more composed facade, but the copious sweat pouring down him as he and his hosts retreated into the club betrayed his underlying fear. Soon, the only ones left on the street were the still-frozen Straw Hats and their guide with the jolly green giant.
"H-Hedoro-san, good to see you again. Business going good?" Shinpachi stuttered out a greeting.
"Ah, yes, thank you for asking. I was just out buying some supplies for the flower shop."
"I see. I'm sorry t-to say, but we need to get g-going as well. We need to find their friend." Shinpachi pointed at a tense Sanji and still petrified Nami, Chopper, Brook, and Carrot.
Hedoro gasped. "You lost your friend? That's terrible! Is there anything I can do to help?"
"...Well, if you happen to see a guy in a Straw Hat, tell him his friends are looking for him." Sanji finally found his voice again.
"Of course. I wish you good luck then." And with that, Hedoro left as quickly as he arrived, returning to his shopping.
Time seemed to stand still for a couple more seconds before Sanji turned back to Shinpachi. "...I'm sorry, but did that guy say he runs a flower shop?"
Shinpachi just gave a dry chuckle, clearly exhausted after all the insane encounters today. "Welcome to Kabuki-chō."
After that whole terrifying ordeal, the group finally arrived at the snack shop where Shinpachi's boss lived. However, some kind of battle obviously occurred, as the building and surrounding ground were pierced with dozens of arrows. They made their way upstairs and entered the office space.
"Gin-san! Kagura-chan! Are you guys here?" Shinpachi called out.
The Straw Hats followed behind him. The office was pretty standard: two couches facing opposite each other with a coffee table in the middle for clients to meet and talk with them. In the corner sat a projection screen with a light scroll snail sleeping soundly. A desk was placed in the back for the boss to sit, with a large sign overhead reading "Sugar Content" for some reason.
Shinpachi walked over to the doors on the left to enter the next room. As he slid them open, something large and white pounced on him. "WAAAH! Sadaharu?!"
"Arf!" The giant white dog barked in confirmation.
"Aww, he's so cute." Nami walked over and began scratching him on the head. Sadaharu leaned into it, loving the attention as he wagged his tail in glee.
"If it's all the same to you, I'll just stay here." Brook nervously said as he tried to hide behind Sanji. His last experience with dogs didn't end so well for him, after all.
"But where is everyone?" Shinpachi wondered aloud.
"Arf! Arf!" Sadaharu barked.
Chopper pattered over. "He says that your friends ran off after some weirdos with animal parts attacked them and took some girl."
Shinpachi turned to the reindeer. "You can understand him?"
"Well, Chobro is an animal himself," Carrot explained.
"On top of being a skilled doctor. You really are amazing, Chopper-san." Shinpachi complimented him.
"You saying that doesn't make me happy in the least, you bastard." Chopper said as he began clapping his hands together and doing a little dance, clearly happy at the compliment given.
"Arf!"
"Huh? EEEH?!" Chopper snapped back to focus.
"What? What did Sadaharu say now?"
"He just said that your friends ran after the weirdos along with a guy wearing a straw hat and a guy with green hair!"
"THAT'S LUFFY!" The remaining Straw Hats shouted.
"The guy with green hair must be Zoro. At least they found each other." Chopper said.
"Why does that not reassure me?" Sanji grumbled.
"Sadaharu, can you tell us more about where they went?" Shinpachi asked.
"Arf!"
"'I may be inclined to tell you more, but it'll cost you,' he says," Chopper repeated back Sadaharu's words.
"Your own dog is trying to extort you!" Nami's jaw dropped, though secretly couldn't help but be impressed by the dog's gumption.
"Come on, Sadaharu. Quit joking around. Aren't you worried about Gin-san and Kagura-chan?" Shinpachi questioned.
"Arf!"
"'I'm serious. If you want my help, cough up 100 bones. Get moving, eighth place.' he says," Chopper repeated for Sadaharu again.
"How cruel! Even though he's all white outside, his heart is completely black! And why did you have to bring the popularity polls into this?!"
"Who's there?!" The group turned to face Catherine, threateningly waving around a broom and a handful of arrows she collected from the walls.
"Catherine-san! Don't worry, they're friends." Shinpachi rushed over to calm the cat woman down, who slowly lowered her weapons, still maintaining a somewhat wary look in her eye. "Where is everyone?"
Catherine scoffed. "The Yato brat came back with that Tamako kid, along with some weird rubber guy and his scary-ass friend. While Tsuru cured the kid, the two were talking to Gin-san, trying to hire him to find their lost friends or something. Next thing we know, we get attacked by some Beast Pirates! They took the kid, and those four plus Kiku chased after them, trying to get her back. A while later, Otose, Tsuru, and Tama went somewhere and told me to mind the shop."
"Do you know where they went?" Shinpachi questioned.
Catherine just shrugged. "They didn't say. I know the pirates were taking the kid to Bakura-chō, but that was hours ago. Who knows where they are now?"
The Straw Hats were clearly troubled. As they feared, Luffy had already gone off and gotten himself into trouble. Knowing Zoro, he probably did nothing to stop him. Hell, he probably helped him. They thought back to the fire reported in town and had a sneaking suspicion their captain had something to do with it after all. Shinpachi was also concerned. He wanted to believe Gintoki would try to keep things under control, but the man also tended to lash out when people got on his nerves too much. And that wasn't even covering Kagura.
"What now?" Carrot asked.
Nami's brow furrowed. "We should try and follow after them. We'll head to the town and figure out where they went from there."
Shinpachi paused his train of thought and quickly looked around the room. He realized that their group was now missing a person. "Hey, where's Brook-san?"
The pirate crew looked around, also realizing their crewmate was missing. "The dog is gone, too," Sanji noted.
"HELP MEEEEEEEE!" A terrified shriek rang out from outside. The group rushed out the front door, looking over the balcony onto the street in time to see Sadaharu rushing off with Brook in his mouth, most likely on his way to bury him in the nearby park.
"He just took Brook!" Chopper yelled.
"Sadaharu, no! That's a client! Bad dog! Bad dog!" Shinpachi yelled as the group rushed down to the street in pursuit of the oversized canine.
Thirty minutes later, they finally caught Sadaharu just as he was about to put Brook in a hole he had dug. After some scolding and head-biting, Sadaharu finally got the message and returned home. The group was now catching their breath in a secluded part of the park since Brook's disguise got all torn up.
"I haven't been that terrified since Zou. My heart is pounding like crazy…Oh, but I don't have a heart. Yohohohoho…" He laughs weakly, still recovering from his ordeal.
"I'm really sorry about that, Brook-san." Shinpachi apologized profusely, bowing low.
Sanji just waved him off. "Don't worry about it, Shinpachi-san. Your dog reacted like any dog would when a bone is placed in front of them."
"But now what? There's no way Luffy and Zoro are still gonna be there, not after all the time we wasted." Chopper stated.
"And if it really is a town full of enemies, then that's the last place we ought to be," Brook said.
Nami turned to the glasses-wearing teen. "I'm sorry, Shinpachi-kun. You're probably worried about your friends as well. They got dragged along by our captain after all."
"Don't worry about that. Gin-san and Kagura-chan are strong in their own right. They know how to handle themselves. I'm more worried about what kind of trouble they got into themselves."
"But how do we find them?" Chopper wondered.
[They're definitely not in Bakura-chō anymore, that much I can tell you.]
"Well, that's good to know at least…huh?"
The group shifted their attention to an unexpected newcomer, a bizarre duck-like creature with an unnerving vacant expression and holding a placard.
"GAAAAAAH!" The Straw Hats screamed.
"Elizabeth-san? What are you doing here?" Shinpachi greeted the bizarre yokai.
Elizabeth flipped the placard over. [I was told by that crabby cat monster that you'd be here.]
"Shinpachi, you know this thing?! What the hell is it?!" Nami shrieked.
"This is Elizabeth. He's a friend of a friend. As for what he is…" The wind blew past, rippling the white sheet and momentarily revealing a pair of hairy old man legs beneath it. Shinpachi looked away, an apathetic look forming over his eyes. "... let's just say some questions are better left unanswered."
"What the hell is the deal with this country?" The Straw Hats thought to themselves.
Elizabeth pulled out another placard. [You wanted to figure out where the Straw Hat kid and the Yorozuya Boss went, right? I can tell you where to find them.]
"Wait, so how did this duck-thing know where to find us?" Luffy asked, having tuned out the rest of the long story.
"Elizabeth knew you would be arriving here because I told him." All attention quickly shifted to the entrance of the building to what appeared to be a traveling monk wearing dark blue robes and carrying a shakujō. A large bamboo hat shielded his face.
"Who are you?" Kiku stood, getting into a defensive stance in case of the worst. The monk raised a hand as he slowly made his way forward.
"You need not fret. I am an ally. I myself was told about this location courtesy of Kagero-dono and the others who have sworn allegiance to you."
"He's telling the truth," Shinpachi said, quickly recognizing the man.
"Thank you, Shinpachi-dono." The monk stopped in front of Momonosuke. The young boy looked up, slight apprehension crossing his expression. The man just smiled.
"It's good to see you after all this time, Momo-kun. To think I'd finally get the chance to meet face-to-face with you again. This truly is nothing short of a miracle."
Kin'emon spoke up next, clearly peeved. "Who are you to address Momonosuke-sama so casually?"
The man finally removed his hat, kneeling to meet Momo eye-to-eye, and replied with a smile. "Just an old friend."
Momo, who had been studying the man's face intently this whole time, gasped in shock. "No way…could it be? Is that really you, Zura?!"
"It's not Zura, it's Katsura."
"It is you!" Momo cried, suddenly leaping forward to hug him tightly. "I'm so happy to see you! I never thought I'd see you again!" Katsura simply returned the hug in silence with a smile.
The sudden turn of events left everyone else perplexed, wondering who this man was and how he knew Momo.
"Yes, I am truly glad to see you again. I see you even managed to bring Gintoki here as well!"
Momo pulled away from Katsura, gazing past Kagura and Shinpachi at the back of the unconscious silver-haired man. "So I was right then. That really is Gin-san."
"Indeed. Oi, Gintoki! How long do you plan on playing dead?" Katsura called over.
A brief pause filled the air as Gintoki continued to lay still for a couple more seconds before finally sitting up and scratching his head. "Give me a break, will ya? I just went through a nightmarish experience with a talking skeleton and his crappy puns."
Brook was aghast. "How rude!"
Momo approached Gintoki, breathless and wide-eyed in disbelief. Gintoki stared down at the boy before giving a small smile. "Looks like Old Lady Toki wasn't kidding when she told us about her power. Hey there, you little punk. It's been a minute, hasn't it?"
Just as Momonosuke had finally calmed down, tears of joy reappeared in his eyes at Gintoki's response. He was exactly as he remembered him. Kagura was the first to break the silence as a resounding slap rang through the air, sending Gintoki flying into the corner.
"Gyaah!" He cried as Kagura leapt on top of him.
"Gin-chan, how could you! We all knew you were a good-for-nothing, but to think you would be so irresponsible as to leave behind a secret child for eight years! This isn't how your father and I raised you to be!" Kagura cried as she sat on top of Gintoki, continuously slapping him across the face as the rest of the room watched dumbstruck.
"Why the hell are you acting like a disappointed mother?! That isn't my kid, dammit! We already went through this whole bit in the Infant Strife arc! And you're still pulling weird lines from all those afternoon dramas!"
"Momonosuke-kun, if I may ask, how do you know Gin-san and Katsura-san?" Shinpachi asked the boy.
Momo turned to him, beaming. "Oh, that's simple. The three of us used to be classmates!"
"…Huh?" the pirates voiced in confusion as they suddenly got a bizarre mental image of Momonosuke, Gintoki, and Katsura all wearing elementary school uniforms and sitting in a classroom. Needless to say, it was a disturbing image.
"Wait, how can these two possibly be classmates of yours?! They're three times your age!" Nami shouted in confusion.
Kin'emon finally spoke up after a long silence. "I believe that is where I come in. You see, apart from the earlier matter of Momonosuke-sama's true identity, there's another secret I've concealed from you that I must confess!"
"What's with you guys and all the secrets? Just tell us already. You can trust us!" Luffy scowled.
Kin'emon gazed downward, his face filled with a sense of disgrace. "Yes, it is true. Forgive me! However, it is quite a difficult thing to believe." He let out a huff. "Five of us total: We three sitting here," He gestured to himself, Kiku, and Momo, "along with Kanjuro and Raizo, whom you're familiar with, are, in fact, people originally from the past!"
Everyone tilted their head at this. "Huh?"
"Simply put, we crossed through time to arrive here from the Wano of twenty years ago!" Kin'emon declared, not a hint of joking in his tone of expression.
"...EEEEHHHHH?!"
So, a small note about Honjou: Here in Wano, his pseudonym is no longer Kyoshiro. He chose the name Kyotsuru instead, since being associated with the No.1 Yakuza in Wano under Orochi wouldn't exactly be good for business. Otherwise, it's the exact same character, same as with Tama (now Tamako).
How did you all like the chapter? This was pretty much all original content, so it took a little longer. Still, I wanted to give Shinpachi and the others some spotlight since they haven't appeared up until now. The next chapter should come out quicker since I'll be working off an actual framework. Not to mention, this is one I'm particularly excited about writing. Why would that be? You'll have to read and find out! Until next time!