Author's Note: Thank you so much to GraceMonroe for your review! You mentioned in your review that this website is being really glitchy, and indeed, it is, because it's not letting me respond to your review right now! But as soon as they fix that bug, I'll send you a reply. In the meantime: thank you!
Just a quick note that this chapter takes some dialogue directly from Chapter 22 of Order of the Phoenix, which does not belong to me. Also, trans women are women (which I am basically going to repeat every time I have to quote the books directly).
This also seems like a good time to remind you all that, even though I lift dialogue directly from the book, I run roughshod over canon.
I hope you enjoy!
Chapter Twenty-Nine: Cursed
"Sirius! SIRIUS! Oh, for the sake of sweet Salazar - SIRIUS!"
Remus looked up from the chessboard he had been staring intently at. Sirius's blue eyes met his.
"Resigning already?" Sirius said hopefully.
"No - don't you hear that?" said Remus, pushing his chair back and standing.
"Hear what?" Sirius asked.
Remus cocked his head to one side and listened for a few more seconds. "It's coming from above us," he said, starting out of the room. "Someone's calling for you."
Remus followed the sound of the shouting, Sirius on his heels, up to the second floor and into the bedroom Harry and Ron had shared over the summer. There, they found the portrait of Phineas Nigellus hollering up a storm. The man in the portrait broke off abruptly when he saw the two men enter the room.
"About time!" he said irritably. "I thought I would shout myself loose from my hangings!"
"What's going on?" Sirius said, crossing the room to stand in front of the portrait.
"Dumbledore's got a message for you," said Phineas. "He says that Arthur Weasley has been injured and his wife, children, and Harry Potter are coming to stay."
"Injured?" Sirius repeated, shooting an alarmed look over at Remus. "What do you mean, 'injured'?"
"I mean he's been injured!" snapped Phineas impatiently. "Meaning he has suffered physical harm, damage, or bodily hurt."
"What happened?" Sirius demanded. He looked around at Remus again.
"Arthur was on guard duty tonight, I thought," Remus offered.
"Was he injured at the Ministry?" asked Sirius.
"I am not a bloody post owl!" Phineas raged, pounding his fists on the arms of his chair. "Will you welcome the visitors, or not?!"
"Yes, yes, of course," said Sirius, raking a hand through his hair distractedly. "Tell him I'd be delighted."
Without another word, Phineas rose and walked out of the side of his portrait, leaving only his chair behind.
"We'd better get downstairs," Remus said.
By the time they reached the landing on the ground floor, Remus could see that someone was undoing the locks from the outside. He and Sirius paused, waiting for Molly and the children. A red-haired woman walked in, but it was not Molly.
"Mairead," Remus breathed her name. She looked up at him and he could see that she had the same look of alarm that Sirius did.
"I'd better get down to the basement," Sirius said, heading down the corridor.
"I've heard Mr. Weasley was injured," Mairead told Remus. "I was told to report here."
"Here?" Remus said, frowning. "Does that mean...?"
At that moment Remus heard Moody's gruff voice saying, "Out of the way!" and Mairead, looking over her shoulder, made a soft noise of surprise and scurried out of the doorway, pulling the door wide as she went.
Moody and Kingsley shuffled their way sideways through the doorway, supporting an unconscious and heavily bloodstained Arthur between them.
"What's happened to him?" Mairead asked, letting the door swing closed once they had cleared it.
"Snake attack," Kingsley bit out. "Where do you want him?"
Mairead stared at the two Aurors incredulously. "I want him at St. Mungo's!" she exclaimed. "Why the hell did you bring him here?"
"You wanna explain to the Unspeakables what a Ministry official with no security clearance to be in the Department of Mysteries was doing there in the middle of the night?" asked Moody. "You wanna explain to the Healers at St. Mungo's how a Ministry official came to get himself bitten by a poisonous snake?"
Mairead gaped at them. "I'm not qualified!" she hissed, shooting a look over at the curtains covering Walburga Black's portrait. "I'm not a trained Healer!"
"Well, you better start thinking big really soon, Missy," Moody said. "Now where do you want him?"
To Mairead's credit, Remus thought she rolled with this development very well.
"In the basement," she said, striding for the stairs and tying her hair back. "I'll be right down."
Remus stepped in to relieve Moody, carefully guiding Arthur's arm around his shoulders. He and Kingsley quickly but gingerly carried him down the stairs.
Kingsley kicked at the closed kitchen door when they arrived at the bottom of the staircase. The door opened and Remus saw Sirius's face go from shocked to grim inside of a second.
"All right, everyone, clear out of the way!" Sirius called, stepping back to allow them room. He swept his arm out and the dishes cluttering the kitchen table zoomed into the sink. Behind him, Remus could see that Harry and the Weasleys had arrived.
"DAD!"
Several of the Weasley children cried out in horror at the sight of their father. Fred or George - Remus was not sure in that moment which one - charged forward, but Sirius caught him round the chest and pulled him backwards, saying, "Give them room."
Molly rushed forward to clear the chairs out of the way. Remus and Kingsley carefully laid Arthur down on the tabletop as Mairead hurried into the room, her arms full of various medical supplies.
"You should probably get them out of here," she said to no one in particular, nodding in the direction of the ghostly white Weasley children and the equally dreadful-looking Harry.
"We're not going anywhere," Fred-or-George said fiercely.
Mairead did not bother to answer, engrossed as she was in sweeping her wand up and down Arthur's body. Her already pale face drained of more color when she concluded her sweep. She called for more light. Sirius and Kingsley dashed from the room in search of more lamps. Mairead reached for the neck of Arthur's robes and quietly said, "Diffindo." She drew her wand down the center of Arthur's robes. With a tearing sound, Arthur's clothing split down the middle, falling to either side of him. His robes clung to him where the bleeding was heaviest, and Mairead gingerly used the tips of her fingers to dislodge the material from the wounds.
Once Arthur's robes were out of the way, Mairead worked rapidly to clear the blood away. As she did so, Sirius and Kingsley returned, arms laden with lamps. Remus helped them enchant the lamps to float in midair in a circle around Mairead and her patient. Looking back at Arthur, Remus got a better look at the other wizard's wounds, and felt an unpleasant drop in his stomach as the extent of the injuries became clearer to him.
In the brighter light, Remus could see blood oozing from three pairs of puncture wounds on Arthur's abdomen. The skin on Arthur's torso was bruised and mottled in a way that suggested broken ribs beneath. Remus frowned and tilted his head to one side, trying to get a closer look at the wounds without getting in Mairead's way. Being quite familiar with bite marks, Remus could tell that there was something unusual about these wounds. The color was not right. The fluid pooling in the wounds was too dark to be merely blood.
Remus was wondering whether Mairead had noticed this when the door opened and Snape stepped inside, wearing a thick travelling cloak and looking heavily displeased.
"What are you doing here?" Sirius said, immediately bristling at the sight of his old school nemesis.
"I have been sent by the Headmaster to lend my services to our so-called Healer-in-residence," Snape said, his voice dripping with disdain as he regarded the young woman in question, who had paused in the middle of mixing a concoction she had thrown together, mortar and pestle in hand.
"Professor Snape!" she said, looking surprised to the point of distraction. "It's you."
Snape regarded Mairead scornfully for a moment before letting his eyes slide over to where the Weasleys and Harry were crowded together, looking terrified. "I do hope you've said your good-byes," he said coldly.
There was an immediate explosion of noise as not only Sirius but the twins, Ron, Harry, and Ginny all began shouting and cursing at Snape at the same time. Snape swept over to Sirius and got in his face, sneering and talking back, but whatever he said was lost in the general cacophony in the room, bouncing off the walls and echoing, lending more volume to the chaos.
"EVERYBODY BE QUIET!"
As one, everyone in the room turned and stared at Mairead. Normally mousy and diffident, Mairead now looked so furiously angry it seemed as though lightning was about to shoot out of her fingertips at any moment. In the ringing silence, Remus took a quick glance around the room and noticed on everyone's faces the same look of shock and awe he had felt the first time he had witnessed the raw power of Mairead's anger.
Mairead glared around at the now-silent crowd. "In case you lot haven't noticed, a man is dying on the table right now!" she shouted. "If you're not doing something to help, you're making it worse!" She turned her fierce gaze on Sirius. "Control yourself!" she scolded. "And you," she went on, looking over at Snape. "If you are not capable of being in a room with another human being without spewing vitriol and acrimony, then I suggest you just fucking leave. Have fun explaining that to Dumbledore; I wish you luck." Snape's normally sallow face turned even paler at Mairead's words. "Otherwise, get over here and tell me what I can use as a binding agent for this salve."
Remus watched Snape and Mairead stare each other down. Remus's hand slowly went to his belt and he wrapped his fingers around his wand, certain from the look of seething hostility on Snape's face that he was about to hex the woman Remus loved right off the face of the earth. Snape took a step towards Mairead. Remus withdrew his wand, and saw Sirius do the same out of the corner of his eye. Snape opened his mouth.
"What ingredients are you using?"
Remus and Sirius silently met each other's eyes. They shared a look of surprised disbelief.
"Moly, Mistletoe, and essence of Rue," Mairead answered, tilting the mortar so that Snape could look inside.
"Why don't you just use the simple Binding Potion?" Snape asked. "You learned it in Third Year. Don't tell me you've forgotten it."
Mairead's mouth twitched. "I'm out," she admitted softly. "I used it all for the cloaks."
Snape raised an eyebrow. "You let yourself run out?" he said sharply. "It's hardly challenging to make. What kind of stores do you-"
"I'm out."
Snape huffed out a disgruntled breath, then turned to the corner the Weasleys had retreated to. "You!" he snapped at them. "Over here!"
Fred and George exchanged an uneasy look with Ginny. Ron, however, stepped forward, his mouth in a hard, determined line.
Snape jerked his head at the stone bowl in Mairead's hands. "Spit," he ordered.
Ron's eyes widened. "What?" he asked.
"Did I stutter?" Snape demanded.
Ron looked at Mairead, who looked equally flummoxed, but extended the bowl in his direction nevertheless. Looking baffled and slightly disgusted, Ron leaned over the dish and spat. Mairead stirred, then said, "More."
Ron looked over his shoulder at his siblings. "C'mon," he muttered.
Everyone stepped forward. Snape raised a hand at Molly and Harry. "You're not related by blood," he said.
Each of Arthur's children took a turn contributing to the salve until Mairead said, "It looks okay now."
She carried the salve over to Arthur's unconscious form, then carefully daubed it onto the puncture marks.
Immediately, Remus could see that something was wrong. A hissing, sizzling sound emanated from the wounds, and an acrid smell, as of burning flesh, filled the air. Mairead held her forearm over her nose and mouth, coughing, and reached for her wand, but Snape was faster. With a flick, the concoction Mairead had spread over Arthur's wounds vanished, though the smell lingered in the air.
"Is that - was that... what was supposed to happen?" Ron asked, looking scared.
Mairead exchanged a look with Snape. Remus could see that she looked apprehensive herself.
"No," said Snape shortly. He turned to Mairead. "What kind of snake did this?"
Mairead shook her head. "I don't know," she said, shaking her head. "I just made up a broad-spectrum remedy for poisons. I - I thought it would work."
"It should have," Snape mused.
"It was his snake." Harry spoke up. His green eyes had a faraway, haunted look to them. "Voldemort's. I was - it was his snake."
Remus frowned, wondering how Harry could have known this.
"You're sure?" Snape pressed, looking sharply at Harry. At the boy's nod, Snape's mouth thinned. "No poison remedy will cure him. That snake is cursed. Therefore her venom is cursed."
But Mairead already seemed to be one step ahead of him. Pulling out her wand, she muttered something and touched the tip of her wand to one of the bite marks.
Instantly, blackish green tendrils, thick and sinuous like the roots of a poisoned tree, seemed to blossom from the end of her wand and snake their way inside Arthur's body, lighting it from within. Remus watched as Mairead repeated this with each of the wounds. When she had finished, Remus's mouth fell open when it occurred to him what he was looking at.
Mairead had created a map of the snake's venom. The dark green roots were thickest and most snarled at the entry points, gradually thinning out as they spread throughout Arthur's blood vessels. As he watched, he could see the venom slowly seeping further into Arthur, getting a greater hold on him. And with a sickening feeling of dismay, Remus noticed that all of the tendrils were worming their way towards Arthur's heart.
Mairead whipped around and pointed her wand at the door to the kitchen. "Accio, Mandrake root!" she cried. "Accio, Dittany!"
Mad-Eye, who was standing nearest the door, pulled it open just in time for two glass jars to come shooting into the room and into Mairead's outstretched hands. She spun around and dashed back over to the table, wrenching the top off one of the jars and reaching inside.
"It won't work," Snape said, but Mairead ignored him, pulling out a fistful of a gnarled looking root. She twisted and crushed the root in her hands until it became malleable, then packed it into Arthur's wounds. She pressed down on the roots with one hand and reached the other into the second jar, pulling out a dripping handful of a dark green goop and slopping it on top of the roots.
"It's no good," Snape insisted, but Mairead shushed him, still staring at Arthur's chest. But Snape, it appeared, was right. The green roots showed no sign of their progress even being slowed by Mairead's efforts, but rather continued their indelible journey towards Arthur's heart. Mairead's breath became ragged, her eyes desolate as she stared, distraught, at Arthur.
Snape shook his head. "He's finished," he quietly told Mairead, bowing his head in what almost looked like respect. "There's nothing more you can do for him."
Remus heard Molly give a small sob, and peripherally could see her gather her children into her arms, but he couldn't tear his eyes off Mairead. She had paid no heed to Snape's words. She was watching the venom twining through Arthur's body, an intent look on her face. Remus could tell that her mind was racing, flicking through workarounds and alternatives.
When she finished her assessment, she looked up and caught the gaze of the two Aurors standing by the door. "If I can get the curse out of him," she said, "will you take him to St. Mungo's then?"
"Yes," Kingsley nodded, looking over at Mad-Eye. "We can say he was out for a walk and happened upon the snake."
Moody thought this over for a moment, then nodded once. "We can work with that."
Mairead nodded. "Okay, then." She reached for the hem of her jumper and pulled it off over her head, leaving her in a tank top. She discarded the jumper on the floor and began to climb up onto the table beside Arthur.
"What are you doing?" Snape demanded.
Mairead took a fortifying breath, then said, "I'm drawing the curse out."
"What?!" Snape snapped. "That's ancient folklore - a wives tale. It doesn't work!"
"You don't know that," Mairead muttered, now prodding delicately at Arthur's wounds with her fingertips.
"Get down from there, you foolish idiot!" Snape snarled. "Are you out of your mind?!"
"I've got to try!" Mairead cried, finally turning and regarding Snape. "I can't do anything else; I'm a Squib. This is the only thing I can try that might stand a chance of working."
"It stands no chance of working," Snape rejoined. "The only thing you'll accomplish is to get yourself killed."
"What?" The word blurted out of Remus's mouth. Mairead stiffened her shoulders and resolutely ignored him. "What are you talking about?"
Snape turned and cast a contemptuous look over at Remus. "Perhaps you can talk some sense into her," he sneered. "After all - you seem to be capable of talking her into doing just about anything."
"Mairead, what's this about?" Remus asked, trying to catch her eye.
"It's nothing," she mumbled, avoiding his gaze. "Just one last thing I can try."
"What is it?" he asked insistently.
"She wants to try to draw the curse out," Snape said, folding his arms and watching Mairead coldly.
"But that - that sounds good," Ron spoke up, looking hopefully over at Mairead. "Doesn't it? I mean - the curse has got to come off, hasn't it?"
"Yes, and where precisely do you think it will go?" Snape said impatiently.
Ron frowned. "Dunno," he said, shrugging. "Away?"
Snape looked at Ron as though the boy had just achieved a level of stupidity Snape had previously thought unattainable.
But comprehension was starting to dawn on Remus. A memory stirred in his brain, a conversation he and Mairead had had once, lying in bed. Her limbs had been intertwined with his, tangled together in wrinkled bed sheets. Remus furrowed his brow and tried to remember the particulars of the conversation. The first thing that came to mind was how beautiful Mairead had looked, her cheeks still flushed from their lovemaking and her lovely eyes lit up with excitement and fascination. He wracked his brain and the memory slowly struggled to the surface.
"I've actually read historical accounts of Healers who used their own bodies as vessels for drawing curses out! They siphoned the curse up out of the wound, through their hands, and out of the patient."
"That sounds like an excellent way to get yourself killed."
Remus recalled how Mairead had responded, and his stomach plummeted.
"Well, that's true."
Snape and Mairead were still bickering when Remus returned to reality. He shamelessly pushed himself between Snape and Mairead, taking the girl by both shoulders.
"No," he said firmly. "Mairead, no."
Mairead squirmed out of his grasp. "It's his only chance," she said.
"He doesn't have a chance!" Snape barked.
"I can do this!" Mairead said. "I've read about it - I know what to do."
"If you've read about it then surely you know that nearly every single Healer who ever tried to draw a curse out in the manner you're suggesting wound up dying from the very same curse," Snape rejoined. "It was an ancient method fallen back on in times of desperation and was mercifully quickly superseded by better, more reliable methods of curse-breaking. It was abandoned for a reason."
"And it was invented for a reason!" Mairead insisted. "I know the risks, and I'm willing to take them on."
"No!" said Remus. "Mairead, I can't let you do this!"
Mairead looked at him full-on, then. Remus saw the stubborn set to her jaw, the immovable glint in her eyes. "This isn't your decision," she said calmly. "It's mine."
Remus stared at her, distraught. He reached for her, cupped her face in his hands. "Please don't do this," he whispered, staring into her eyes. "Please, May."
For one, infinitesimal moment, she wavered. Then she blinked and shook her head. "I've made my decision," she said. Her voice sounded regretful, but resolved. "He's got a wife, Remus. He's got children." She reached up and wrapped her fingers around Remus's wrists, tugging them away from her face. "This is his only chance."
"Then let me do it," Remus bargained. "Tell me what to do and I'll do it."
"You can't," Mairead said, putting her hands on his chest and trying to push him away from the table. Remus grabbed her hands in his own.
"Why not?" he demanded, glaring at her fiercely.
Pain flashed across Mairead's expression, and she broke eye contact. When she spoke, it was in her gentlest voice. "Because you're already cursed." She looked at him hesitantly, apologetically.
Defeat settled around Remus like a layer of leaden snow. "Please don't leave me," he pleaded softly, clinging tightly to her hands.
Mairead's chin trembled. "I'm sorry," she whispered.
The room was silent. Remus stared at Mairead, silently begging her to turn back to him, to change her mind. Instead, she gave her head another little shake and slipped her hands out of Remus's grasp.
"Once the curse is out, he's probably going to start bleeding really heavily," she said to Kingsley and Mad-Eye. "There's a dose of Blood-Replenishing Potion over there on the counter," she added, nodding her head to where a small vial sat by the basin. "But even with that you're still going to have to get him to the hospital as fast as you can."
Mad-Eye nodded.
Mairead turned and looked down at Arthur. The vines were encircling his heart now, but they had not yet penetrated it. She took a deep, shaky breath, and reached her hands towards him.
"Wait!" Remus shouted.
Mairead looked around at him, her mouth already open to argue with him. Remus spoke quickly before she could stop him. "You said before that the case histories that were successful involved two people - a Healer drawing the curse out, and someone protecting the Healer. Let me help you," he said. "Let me protect you."
Snape's lip curled. "Yes, why don't you do that, Lupin?" he said snidely. "I'm already going to have to explain to Dumbledore why there are two dead members of the Order instead of merely one. What's one more on top of that?"
But Mairead was looking at Remus, a familiar glimmer in her eye. "That could actually work," she said softly.
"It's not going to work!" Snape growled. "You're going to die in agony; all you will do is bring your lover to the grave with you."
"No - the curse won't kill him!" Mairead said, speaking rapidly, her eyes lit up with the look Remus recognized from their lessons together. It was the look she got when she had stumbled upon a brilliant workaround. "He's already got a cursed bite; he's immune to other cursed wounds! The venom won't hurt him!" She turned and looked at Remus now. "Grab hold of my wrists."
Remus reached forward and delicately wrapped his fingers around her wrists, his heart thumping heavily.
"Tighter," she instructed. Remus closed his fingers a little more. "Tighter, Remus!" Hesitantly, Remus tightened his fingers until they overlapped around her bony, delicate wrists. Looking down, he saw white marks on Mairead's skin, where he was cutting off her blood supply. "Don't let the venom get past your hands," she said.
"Don't what?" Remus said.
Snape shook his head at the two of them. "Do you have any idea how painful this is going to be?" he asked Mairead. "You won't be able to think through the pain. And it won't end once the venom gets to your heart. You're committing yourself to a slow, unbearably painful death."
Mairead's mouth became a thin line. She turned to Remus. "If the venom gets to my heart," she said softly, "promise me you'll end it quickly for me."
"He won't," Snape said scornfully. "He's too in love with you; everyone knows that."
Something flickered in Mairead's eyes as she looked at Remus. He could almost hear her voice, tentative and sweet: You are?
"Then you do it," said Mairead, blinking and turning her attention to Snape. "If the venom gets to my heart, kill me."
Remus looked back and forth between Snape and Mairead. "Wait - Mairead," he said.
But it was too late. Snape considered Mairead for a brief moment, then nodded his head. Mairead turned to Arthur. "Give ground if you need to," she said to Remus. "But don't let the venom get to my heart."
With that, Mairead took a deep breath, and pressed her hands to Arthur's chest.
For a moment, Remus thought that it hadn't worked. Mairead's eyes were squinting at the dark lines on Arthur's torso, now more black than green, and her lips were moving silently, but other than that, nothing happened.
Then, a choked, gasping sound of distress tore itself out of Mairead's throat. Remus looked at her face again and saw that it was now wracked with pain. A glance down at their hands told him why.
The tips of Mairead's fingers were turning black. At first, it looked as though Mairead had a severe case of frostbite. But as Remus watched, he saw the blackness swirling, curling like smoke, and now Remus saw the green tinge, twining, climbing Mairead's hands like ivy, reaching for her, clinging to her. Alarmed, Remus clamped his fingers down around Mairead's wrists as tightly as he could.
The curse entered Mairead's hands through all ten of her fingers and quickly spread up the backs of her hands. When the tendrils reached the place where Remus was holding onto Mairead in a bruising grasp, he let out a surprised hiss at the burning sting he felt where his skin touched hers. Like dark green flames, the cursed venom licked at Remus. But just as quickly as it had taken a taste of him, the tendrils receded from him, clearly recoiling at the tainted blood it had detected.
Remus watched, every nerve on edge, as the normal, freckled hue of Mairead's skin was taken over by the smoky, poisonous green venom until there was nothing left of Mairead's own skin tone. Even her fingernails had blackened as the curse coursed into her body.
"Give ground!" Mairead bit out, her voice a tight, agonized sound.
Careful not to loosen the hold he had on her, Remus slid his fingers up to clutch Mairead's forearms. Mairead cried out in pain, and everything in Remus screamed at him to pull her away from Arthur's body. But her teeth were bared with determination and she turned the force of her fury on the curse, drawing it further into her own body. Remus glanced down at Arthur and his eyes widened in wonder. It was working. The roots that had encapsulated Arthur's heart were now completely gone, and they seemed to be getting dragged backwards out of his body.
Soon, Mairead was wailing brokenly for Remus to move his hands higher. Remus slid his hands to her elbows and watched, horrified, while the curse took over more and more of her body. Remus chanced a brief break in his concentration to look at Mairead's face. Sweat was trickling out of her hair and tears were streaming down her face. Her skin was deathly white, but her green eyes glowed and crackled with their forest fire of determination, and Remus saw she still had fight left in her.
"More!" she snarled.
Remus's hands were around her biceps now. There wasn't much more room for him to retreat. The curse seemed to be taking over her faster now, climbing and swirling like some strange amalgam of vines and smoke. Remus could feel Mairead quaking. Her breathing was weakening. She was becoming tired.
Remus pressed his mouth against her ear. "Come on, May," he murmured. "You can do this. Keep fighting!"
Mairead tipped her head back and let out a feeble sob. "It hurts," she whimpered.
"I know it hurts," Remus answered, though in truth, he had no idea what she was going through. He could only imagine that the occasional stinging he felt when the curse licked at him was nothing compared to what she must be enduring. "You're almost there."
Mairead shook her head. "I - I don't think I can do this much longer," she said faintly. She sagged against Remus.
Fear was shrieking in Remus now. Acting on instinct, he bore down on Mairead's arms and shook her hard. "Don't you dare give up, Mairead!" he shouted. "Fight! FIGHT HARDER!"
Mairead took a few shallow breaths, then squeezed her eyes shut and released an earsplitting scream.
"GIVE GROUND!" Remus heard Snape holler. Remus moved his hands as high as they could go. The vines followed him. Mairead's entire arms were black and green now. Looking over, he saw that Snape had drawn his wand and was pointing it at Mairead's heart.
"NO!" Remus roared.
"LOOK!" Sirius shouted, pointing at Arthur.
Remus looked where Sirius indicated and saw the last thin, wispy tendrils of black-green vines disappear out of the bite marks and into Mairead's hands. No sooner did the curse give up its hold on Arthur then blood began pouring out of the wounds, drenching Arthur's robes and gushing over Mairead's hands.
"The fireplace." Remus's eyes shot over to Mairead at the sound of her voice, and saw her face set in agony. "Remus, take me to the fireplace!" she cried through gritted teeth.
Without relinquishing his hold on her arms, Remus hauled Mairead off the table and dragged her, stumbling and collapsing, over to the fireplace. Together, they crashed down onto their knees beside the hearth, and Remus gave a shout of shock when Mairead thrust both of her arms straight into the middle of the fire.
Instantly, the flames turned the same blackish green color as the curse. Mairead threw her head back and released a shrieked raggedly as the flames burned away the green, cursed flesh from her arms, sloughing off in curled, blackened flakes, and revealing her normal, pale, freckled skin underneath.
With a final hiss, the flames shot up the chimney and disappeared, plunging them into semi-darkness and leaving nothing behind in the grate but the faint smell of smoke.
Slowly, trembling, Remus opened one finger, then another, peering anxiously at Mairead's skin for signs that the curse still lingered. But when he opened his hands, there was nothing beneath them except Mairead's own skin, beginning to bruise from where Remus had gripped her. Remus looked up and saw Mairead watching his hands, as well. Their eyes met, and Remus saw in Mairead's gaze just how frightened she had been, how certain she had been that she was going to die.
"Get the Blood-Replenishing Potion!"
"Merlin, this bleeding's bad."
"Here - plug his nose and hold his mouth open."
"Are there any bandages?"
"No time; we've got to get him to the hospital."
Remus heard, as if through water, the urgent sounds of the others working to stabilize Arthur enough to survive the trip to St. Mungo's. He heard them, but all he could see was Mairead. He reached for her, tugging the girl into his arms and burying his face in her hair.
He felt Mairead sigh and melt into him, and Remus was overwhelmed with the sense that he was finally back home.
Mairead lay boneless against Remus's chest. She was too spent to consider what, if anything, it meant that she was back in his arms, and so she just lay quietly. She listened to the sounds of Remus's breath and heart, which had both finally slowed and softened back to their normal rates, and to the sound of the clock on the wall, which continued ticking steadily despite all that had happened that evening.
She was too exhausted to sleep, and she knew that Remus was awake, too. She had long since committed to memory the way Remus's breath sounded when he slept; his breathing now was too shallow for him to be asleep. As if that were not enough proof, there was also the heartbreaking, sweet sensation of Remus occasionally ghosting one of his hands over her hair, across her back, or down her arms before wrapping it securely around her again to let her know that he was still awake.
She was unsure what time it was. Every so often, one of the people sitting around the table would ask the time, and Ron or Sirius would answer, but she had lost track of how long ago Sirius had announced it was four forty-seven. Arthur had now been at the hospital for three hours. He had, as Mairead had instructed, been rushed off to St. Mungo's as soon as she had successfully drawn the curse out of him. She knew that he was not out of the woods yet, though. She suspected that the snake bites had also been poisonous, in addition to being cursed, and she could only hope that the Healers would know what to do.
Mairead heard Remus sigh fretfully. His arms tightened around her and she felt him nestle his face into her hair. His breath rustled her hair and she fought not to let a shiver run through her at the feeling of being so close to him again. Surely when morning came Remus would snap out of whatever state of mind he was in at the moment. When the sun rose, he would pull away once again, probably with a regretful smile and a perfunctory apology. Mairead told herself that she would not clutch at the air when he left her again.
Nothing has changed, she told herself firmly. He doesn't love you. Just enjoy this while it lasts.
Mairead was in the midst of trying to turn her head subtly and breathe in Remus's scent when she heard the kitchen door open. Remus's left arm was obscuring her vision, but she saw Harry, Ron, and Fred rise on shaky legs and look at whomever had entered the kitchen.
"He's going to be all right," came Mrs. Weasley's voice, sounding weary but relieved. "He's sleeping. We can all go and see him later. Bill's sitting with him now, he's going to take the morning off work."
Mairead watched Ginny and George cross the room and embrace their mother. Fred had sat back down and hidden his face. Mairead had a sneaking suspicion he was crying. She heard Remus breathe out a long, exhausted sigh. He briefly squeezed her tighter with his arms, then released her.
Mairead wanted to cry at the loss, but she pulled both lips into her mouth and bit down, then braced her hands on the stone hearth and pushed herself away from Remus. In a moment of weakness, she turned and looked at him over her shoulder. He was watching her, a somber expression on his face. Her chest felt heavy, like a weight was pressing on her. She was vaguely aware of Sirius calling for Kreacher to help with breakfast, but her entire universe had shrunk down to Remus and his dark grey eyes and the way they held her captive. He reached a hand up and tenderly tucked a loose strand of her hair behind one ear, his thumb caressing her cheekbone. Mairead blinked and pulled away before the sob she could feel rising in her throat could get out.
She pushed herself to her feet and heard Remus rise behind her, but she did not turn to look at him again. Instead, she saw Mrs. Weasley hugging Harry tightly, thanking him for sounding the alarm that Mr. Weasley had been hurt. Harry looked uncomfortable in the extreme, but Mrs. Weasley was already moving onto Sirius, whom she thanked for keeping her children safe and looked after while she was at the hospital. Sirius graciously said he was happy to help.
Mairead suppressed a sigh. Looks like everyone got their happy ending, then. She wrapped her arms around herself and turned for the door. She didn't work until the next day. Spending the entire day in bed sounded inviting for a number of reasons. Before she could slip out, however, she heard Mrs. Weasley call her name.
"You're not leaving, are you, Mairead?"
Mairead froze, caught. "Erm..." she hummed uncertainly before fixing a mild smile into place. "I think so. I'm a bit tired, so."
"Stay here!" Sirius said enthusiastically. "We're all going to have a lie-down after breakfast."
Mairead was sluggishly trying to figure out how to shoot daggers at Sirius without anyone else noticing when her exhausted brain finally decided to notify her that Mrs. Weasley was heading her way. Next thing she knew, she was being enveloped in a tight hug.
"Oh, Mairead," Mrs. Weasley said thickly. "I don't know how to thank you. Arthur would have died had it not been for you, I know it."
"Erm -" Mairead squeaked, unsure what to do with the Weasley matron's gratitude. "No - err - no - no sweat. It was nothing."
"Of course it wasn't nothing!" Mrs. Weasley said, pulling away. "You risked your life for Arthur! If Remus hadn't been there -" she mercifully broke off at this and turned on Remus instead, but here Mrs. Weasley finally seemed to quail. "Remus, I -" she faltered, dropping her gaze.
Belatedly, Mairead became aware of the weight of this moment. She noticed the tension in Remus's eyes, and saw that Sirius, too, was closely watching Mrs. Weasley to see what she would do. She bravely raised her eyes and regarded Remus, two bright spots on her cheeks.
"Remus," she began, her voice low and sincere. "The way you protected Mairead last night - the way you stood between her and the curse... I never should have doubted - you obviously care for her very deeply. I - I should never have questioned your intentions. I shouldn't have gotten in the middle. It wasn't my business. I had no right -"
"Enough," Remus said quietly. Mrs. Weasley broke off, looking uncertain. Remus stepped forward and placed a hand on the woman's shoulder. "You've had a long night," he said, smiling kindly. "Let's focus on what's important: Arthur is going to live. He's in the best hands possible and once we've all had some rest you'll get to go over and see him."
Mrs. Weasley smiled tremulously at Remus. "Yes, he is, isn't he?" she said, her voice a bit misty.
Sirius, who had been closely watching the interaction between Remus and Mrs. Weasley, spoke up then. "I hope you'll all consider staying here at Grimmauld Place while Arthur's in the hospital, Molly."
"Oh, Sirius, I'm so grateful," said Mrs. Weasley. "They think he'll be there a little while and it would be wonderful to be nearer... Of course, that might mean we're here for Christmas..."
"The more the merrier!" Sirius said, smiling genuinely at Mrs. Weasley. She glowed at him, then reached for an apron.
"Let's get breakfast underway," she said briskly.
Mairead gnawed on her lip, mulling over her thoughts. Coming to a decision, she took a tentative step forward. "Mrs. Weasley," she said quietly. "Why don't you let us fix breakfast?"
Mrs. Weasley turned, her eyebrows raised in surprise. "Oh," she said. "But -"
Mairead smiled wanly. "Go be with your family," she urged. "We can handle the cooking for once."
Mrs. Weasley beamed at Mairead and gave her a shock by kissing her cheek. "Thank you, dear."
Mairead reached behind her head and fixed her hair, which was falling out of its messy updo. Mustering up all of her bravery, she forced herself to look over at Sirius and Remus, who were both watching her. "So... breakfast?" she said.
One corner of Remus's mouth turned up. "How about those chocolate chip raspberry pancakes you made that one time?" he suggested.
His eyes were warm, and Mairead fought not to lose herself in them. "Sounds good," she said softly.
Sirius clapped his hands together once. "That sounds like they would go excellently with eggs and my famous, homemade Hollandaise sauce."
"I've never had Hollandaise sauce before," remarked Mairead, getting to work gathering ingredients for pancakes.
She was relieved to find that it was relatively easy to find her way back to normalcy with Remus and Sirius. She knew it was largely thanks to Remus. He was doing a lot of the heavy lifting when it came to easing the painful awkwardness that had existed between them for the past month and a half. Sirius was also in a jovial mood, singing snatches of Christmas carols while he cracked eggs and whisked butter. He and Remus easily traded insults back and forth as they worked, and after a while Mairead worked up the courage to throw in a good-natured barb herself. Their friendly ribbing soon grabbed the attention of Harry and the Weasleys, and Mairead could hear them laughing occasionally.
Before long, Mairead had produced a platter piled high with pancakes. She carried it over to the table followed by Remus, who set down dishes of cut fruit, toast, and bacon. Sirius smiled a touch smugly when he cleared a large space in the middle of the table for an enormous plate of eggs and a tureen filled with a thick, pale yellow sauce.
There followed several minutes of excited chatter as everyone eagerly piled their plates high.
Mairead dipped the back of her fork into Sirius's homemade Hollandaise sauce and licked the tines experimentally.
She immediately regretted the decision. "I don't think I like Hollandaise sauce," she said sadly, trying to wash away the taste with a large gulp of tea.
Remus lifted the tureen and took a delicate sniff. "That's not Hollandaise sauce," he said.
"What is it?" asked Mairead.
"An affront to humanity."
Mairead let out a surprised laugh, clapping a hand to her mouth guiltily. Remus's eyes snapped over to hers at the sound, warm and happy. Mairead dropped her gaze back to her plate, overcome with shyness.
Remus stood and carried the tureen over to the basin.
"Oi!" Sirius exclaimed indignantly.
"We've already had one near-death experience tonight, Padfoot," Remus remarked calmly, glancing sideways at Mairead when he returned to his seat. "Do we really need to have another in the form of your cooking?"
Mairead blinked. Had he just winked at her?
She decided that he hadn't. She needed him not to have winked at her.
Not yet, anyway.
Sirius insisted on Mairead taking her old bedroom when everyone went upstairs to sleep. She was convinced she would not be able to get a moment's rest, haunted as she was by the memories of the last night she had spent in that bed - and who had been in that bed with her - but she dropped off the moment her head hit the pillow.
She did not awaken until late afternoon. She climbed out of bed, wanting to leave as quickly and inconspicuously as possible, but repeated shivers soon alerted her to the fact she had forgotten her jumper down in the kitchen. Yawning and dragging her feet, Mairead went down to the basement, intent on finding her jumper and leaving before anyone spotted her.
There was only one occupant in the kitchen when Mairead walked in, and the man in question was sitting at the table, holding her jumper in his hands.
"Mairead," he said her name softly, the way she loved.
"Oh, hey, Remus," said Mairead, her stomach twisting.
Remus regarded her for a moment before smiling politely. "Did you sleep well?" he asked.
"Yeah, like a rock," she said, nodding. "I've got to be getting back now, though, so..."
Remus nodded. Silence hung between them, heavy and significant. Eventually Remus said, "Would you like a cup of tea before you go?"
"Thanks, but I should get going," Mairead said, avoiding his eyes. "I just forgot my..." she trailed off, pointing feebly at the garment still in his hands.
"Oh!" said Remus softly, standing and crossing the room to her. "Of course. I - I found this on the floor. I was trying to think where I could put it so you'd see it."
"Oh," said Mairead, looking at the jumper rather than at him. "Thanks."
Remus handed over the jumper and put his hands into his pockets while Mairead pulled it on over her head. When her head poked through, her hair exploded into a mess all around her. She shook her head, trying to clear her field of vision as she stuck her arms through the sleeves. Remus stepped forward while she was struggling. Before she could free her hands, he reached up, gently smoothing her hair away from her face.
Mairead froze. Her breath caught in her chest at the feeling of his fingers, lightly brushing her face, tucking her hair behind her ears and over her shoulders, being careful not to tug at any knots.
Her hands, now free, hovered uncertainly in the air between them. Remus's hands stilled, cradling her face in his palms. Unable to resist, Mairead finally looked up at him. She saw the line between his eyebrows that formed when he was troubled; saw countless emotions swirling in his eyes.
"Remus?"
And then he was kissing her.
Mairead gasped. She thought she might faint at the feeling of his lips on hers.
Mairead whimpered when Remus pulled away and pressed his forehead to hers. His eyes were squeezed shut as if in pain.
"May," he whispered reverently.
With a soft cry, Mairead threw herself at Remus. Remus caught her around the waist, capturing her mouth once again. She pressed her body as close to Remus's as she could, wrapping her arms around his neck and grabbing handfuls of his hair with a desperate grip. Remus's kiss was almost bruising in its intensity. With a low growl, Remus tightened his arms around Mairead and walked her backwards until her back was pressed up against a wall.
Mairead hadn't noticed that tears had started to fall, but when Remus began kissing a path along her eyebrows and hairline, his thumbs both rose to swipe gently underneath her eyes and he whispered, "Please don't cry, sweet girl."
"Remus." Her voice broke on his name. She clutched at his wrists. Seeming to know what she needed, Remus intertwined his fingers with hers. He held their joined hands to his heart, his lips seeking hers again. Mairead lost herself in the soft caress of his kiss, the feeling of his fingers wrapped around hers.
"Here," Remus murmured eventually, pulling away from her. He gently tugged on her hands, leading her towards the door.
"Where are we going?" Mairead asked, not caring about the answer.
"Upstairs," answered Remus. "If we're quick you can still get back in time."
Mairead smiled a touch guiltily. "I don't really need to be getting back," she admitted.
One corner of Remus's mouth twitched. "I wondered," he said, pulling her back in for a brief kiss. When he pulled away, he said, "Still, though - the others will be back from the hospital soon."
"So?" Mairead couldn't care less at the moment what anyone else in the world was doing.
"So we should be quick so they don't spot us together," said Remus.
Reality tapped Mairead on the shoulder. "Wait, what?" she said abruptly.
Remus paused, taking a moment to gather his thoughts. "I've been thinking," he began slowly, "and I think I've come up with a plan that will work... Everyone thinks that we're not seeing each other anymore, yes?" Mairead nodded slowly, discomfort prickling along her spine. "So if we're very careful - meticulously careful, I mean - we can very nearly go back to the way things were before." He looked at her as if he had just delivered her a grand treat. Mairead looked back at him, feeling like her stomach had been turned to stone.
"The way things were before."
Remus shrugged his shoulders up towards his ears. "Nearly. There are a few changes I do think we should make." Here he paused and looked closely at her, then continued in the tone of one treading carefully. "For example, I really don't think we should see each other on nights when the Order meets. I know we argued about it before, but, well, I think you can see my point now, given what happened. But we also have an advantage that we didn't have before."
He paused. Mairead knew he was waiting for her to jump in with her guesses as to what the advantage was. Forcibly, Mairead felt like she was back in his classroom and he was inviting her to participate in his lecture. Without warning, she felt a seething resentment boil to life within her.
When Mairead did not speak up, Remus filled in the answer for her. "You're not living here at Grimmauld Place anymore. So I can come and see you on nights when you work late. I can ask Sirius, and I'm positive he'd be willing to send me a Patronus if someone showed up at headquarters when I'm with you, and then I can just Apparate over here and no one will be the wiser. And when we're at your place, you won't need to worry about any of the other rules we had in place, so I think that will ease your mind considerably. You can spend some nights here, I can spend some nights wherever you are, and if we're very strict about not seeing each other on meeting nights, I think - Mairead? What's wrong?"
All at once, as if her mind had been hiding it from her until now, waiting until she was ready for the knowledge, Mairead saw this for what it was. Remus was in charge. He might be inviting her to follow along with him, but he was calling all the shots. The illusion that they were partners, who made decisions as a team, shattered like a fun house mirror all around her.
Remus always made the decisions; she saw that now. Remus decided when they met and whether they met and what they did when they met. The only free agency Mairead had ever had was whether or not to go along with Remus's plans. She never got to make the plans herself, never had so much as a hand in making the plans. She always just went along with whatever Remus said, happy to be included in his world.
With a dizzying, disorienting sensation as though she had fallen into a trick step at Hogwarts, Mairead realized that Remus had been right to be concerned about the power dynamics that had been established back when they first met.
He was right all along, she thought. He is misusing his authority over me.
"I - I don't understand," she said. It sounded like her own voice was coming from far away.
Remus frowned. "I'll slow down," he said. "So, w-"
"No," Mairead interrupted him. "I don't understand why you want to go back to doing things this way."
"Don't you see?" said Remus. "The whole Order thinks we're not together anymore, so they won't be expecting this. They think we broke up."
Mairead looked piercingly at Remus. "We did break up. You broke us up."
Remus at least had the grace to look abashed. "...I'm sorry. I made a mistake. We should - er..." he faltered, peering at Mairead's stony expression, trying to understand. "Or... do you not agree that it was a mistake?"
"No, I agree it was a mistake," said Mairead in a hard tone that sounded nothing like her normal way of speaking. "What I don't understand is why you want to replicate the circumstances in which that mistake got made in the first place."
Remus's eyes darted back and forth between Mairead's, his grip on her hands growing slack. "...You don't want to try again. You don't want to be together."
With a frustrated shake of her head, Mairead yanked her hands free from Remus's, stepping away from him to give herself some space. "No - that's not what I'm saying at all!" she said. "I do want to be together. What I don't want is to bloody hide!"
"It's the only way, Mairead," he said patiently. "We've already decided this."
"No, you decided, and I got dragged along for the ride," Mairead snapped. "We never agreed. We still don't agree."
Remus was frowning now. "Where is this coming from, Mairead?"
Mairead's breath left her in an exasperated huff. "I don't - I can't understand why you want to go back to sneaking around!" she cried. "Why? Everyone knows about us now! The thing you were so worried about happened. It's over. It's behind us. We can move past it now."
"It's not behind us, Mairead, it's all around us!" Remus insisted, frustration of his own beginning to creep into his voice. "It isn't over. We haven't moved past it."
Mairead squared her body off against his. "And we'll never move past it as long as you keep fucking running away!"
Remus's eyes flashed in the merest, blink-and-miss-it sign of anger. "You want to talk about running away?" he said, his voice softening. "You weren't here for the fallout, Mairead. I was. You ran off - God knows where - and you left me behind to deal with the aftermath. Do you have any idea what people said? Do you know what they thought?"
Mairead's mouth fell open. "I left you behind?" she repeated in outraged disbelief. "I left you behind? You couldn't wait to drop me! You didn't want the first thing to do with me."
"I was trying to protect you!" Remus said.
"I DON'T WANT YOU TO PROTECT ME, I WANT YOU TO FUCKING STAND BESIDE ME!" she exploded."I want to stand shoulder to shoulder with you and be with you! Out here - in the open!" Mairead started towards Remus, pleading with him. "And we have our chance now! Everyone knows about us now. Your worst case scenario happened, Remus, and guess what? The world didn't end. I'm still here, you're still here, the Order is still here. They got over it. Look at what happened this morning: Mrs. Weasley all but gave us her blessing! She moved on. We moved on. I want to move on! And I want to do it with you!" Mairead was standing in front of Remus now. Bravely, she grasped his hands and gazed up at him entreatingly, her voice throbbing with emotion. "I am not ashamed of us! I have never been ashamed of us, Remus! Are you?"
"Of course I am!"
It felt as though Mairead had fallen a great distance and landed on her back. All the wind was completely knocked out of her. She blinked at Remus, feeling completely lost.
It was immediately obvious that Remus realized he had made a misstep. Guilt washed over his features and he looked down at their hands, smoothing his thumbs over the backs of Mairead's knuckles in what he must have thought would be a soothing manner.
"I - I'm - I'm sorry," he stammered. "I didn't -"
"Yes, you did," Mairead breathed. She stumbled back from him. She was reminded of the way she had felt in the moments after Sirius had stabbed her. Everything felt simultaneously numb and excruciating.
Remus reached for her. "Mairead -"
Mairead shrank away from Remus. She couldn't look at him. She could barely breathe. "I..." she shook her head once to try to clear it. "I have to go."
She floated across the floor on shaking legs and walked out the door, scarcely aware of moving her feet.
In the entrance hall Mairead nearly collided with Sirius, who had bounded enthusiastically down the stairs to greet Harry, Tonks, Moody, and the Weasleys, all back from visiting Arthur at St. Mungo's.
Mairead could scarcely comprehend the sense of joy and merriment that abounded in the hallway, listening silently to Fred and George joking with Sirius and Tonks about the bowler hat Moody was wearing, which lent him what Sirius called a, "sinister gangster look." She thought she could slip quietly through the crowd and out of the house, and even had one foot out the door before she felt a large hand clap down on her shoulder.
"Where the hell d'you think you're going, Gryffindor?" Sirius asked exuberantly. "We've got to get started decorating for the holidays!"
Mairead closed her eyes wearily before forcing a smile onto her face and turning to look at Sirius. "Oh, Sirius, I'm still totally knackered," she said, her voice wavering dangerously.
Fortunately, amidst all the chaos in the entryway, her heartbreak came across plausibly as exhaustion, and Sirius's mouth twitched with sympathy. "Of course," he said understandingly. "Rest up and be back here as soon as you can. We've only got a few days to turn this place around before Christmas, you know."
Mairead's mouth opened in dismay. "Ohh," she said, reaching for the lie she had told Remus days ago. "I'm spending Christmas at St. Hedwig's."
"Bullshit," Sirius declared. "You're spending Christmas at St. Buckbeak's, and I don't want to hear another word about it."
"Oh, Mairead, you must spend Christmas here!" Mrs. Weasley spoke up, face shining and smiling warmly at Mairead. "Everyone is coming. And we're going back to visit Arthur. I told him how you and Remus saved him - quietly, of course, there are other people on the ward - and he insisted that you and Remus both come see him so that he can thank you personally."
Pain lanced through Mairead at the mention of Remus's name. She wasn't sure how much longer she'd be able to keep her tears at bay, and she knew she would have an uphill battle getting out of this.
"All right," she finally consented. "If you really want me to."
"'Course we do," Sirius said, barking out a laugh and throwing an arm around her shoulders. "What's gotten into you?"
Mairead smiled again and shook her head. "Sorry, just really tired," she said.
"You should sleep it off upstairs," Sirius said, then leaned in and spoke his next words directly into her ear. "I bet it wouldn't take too much doing on your part to get Remus to crawl in with you, the way he was looking at you over breakfast."
Mairead felt a hysterical laugh bubble out of her. She bent her knees and ducked out of Sirius's grasp. "That's okay, but thanks."
Sirius paused then, looking at her piercingly. "You okay, Gryffindor?" he asked beneath his breath, still watching her intently.
Mairead's nose began to tingle as tears announced their imminent rise. "I'm fine," she said. "I'll see you later."
Author's Note: What did you think? Was the action action-y enough? Do you forgive me for changing this from how it was in the books? And did you enjoy Mairead literally yelling at Remus? I hope people are still reading this. The hit counter has been broken for about a month now, so I can't tell whether anyone is reading or not. Hopefully you're still reading and enjoying!
Song for this chapter: "Go Your Own Way," by Fleetwood Mac (Mairead)