Dear Diary: Facing Your Past.
Disclaimer: I don't own Inuyasha
A/N: I live! Ugh! Life got the better of me these last few months! I had my baby on July 18th, and I was getting into a routine and was just about to start updating again when I heard my oldest say uh-oh I accidentally cut it in half. I looked at it was my laptop charger lol, so I had to wait to have enough money to order a new one and it finally came in so I'm updating it again! I aim to update my stories every Friday! Now on with the show!
"And you know this for sure?" Inuyasha's father asked, he could feel his excitement start to bubble up but wanted to be sure before that happened.
"I do." Inuyasha said nodding once. "She showed me her mark."
Inuyasha's father stood up from his office chair. "Well, this is very good news indeed!" He said letting his excitement out as he walked around his desk to stand in front of Inuyasha placing both his hands on his son's shoulders with a wide grin on his face. "Where is she? Didn't you say you think her powers are blocked? We must find a way to unblock them!"
"Yes, she told me that no powers have made themselves known yet and guessed it was another mark that meant she had no powers, it's obvious she's never heard stories about the chosen one and giving her living conditions its not surprising that she hasn't. She's in my room but she's already frazzled because of Kikyo coming over unexpectedly and unwanted and Renkotsu let her in despite knowing that Kagome and Sango were in the room by themselves. There's something off about him, I don't know what yet, but I want to remove him from being Kagome's guard." Inuyasha explained. "And, since she's already nervous, I want to talk to her about her past by myself."
"Okay." Inuyasha's father nodded feeling a little disappointed that he wouldn't be able to be there for that conversation, but he trusted his son at the same time. "Have that conversation soon though, the sooner the better. She must release her powers and start training as soon as possible. As for the Renkotsu situation, I'll trust your judgement and if he is guilty of treason then he'll be dealt with accordingly."
Inuyasha nodded once before turning on his heel and leaving the office with Miroku following.
"What are you going to do with Renkotsu?" Miroku asked as they were walking back to Inuyasha's room.
"Depending on the answers he gives me I'm either going to put him on yard duty or send him straight to the dungeons." Inuyasha said running his hand through his hair. Yard duty is where guards patrol the grounds outside instead of inside the castle.
Miroku nodded. "Serves him right, I never really liked the guy - always got a bad feeling about him, so him being as far away from us works perfectly for me."
"Yeah." Inuyasha let out a sigh. "There's definitely something off about him, and I don't like the fact that he let Kikyo in my room knowing Kagome was in there defenseless."
"I don't like that either." Miroku said with a sigh and ran his hand through his short black hair.
On the walk towards his room, Inuyasha and Miroku ran into Jakotsu coming from the opposite way but watched as he turned and headed in the way they were going.
"Hey, Jakotsu." Inuyasha called out gaining the man in question's attention.
"Oh, hey, Prince Inuyasha - I was just on the way back to stand guard of Kagome." Jakotsu said. "Did you need something else done?"
"Something else?" Inuyasha asked.
Jakotsu nodded. "That's right, Renkotsu came to me saying that you wanted me to run into town to do an errand for you."
"Oh, did he now?" Inuyasha asked as his anger grew. It was all starting to sound like a set up to him. Maybe Kikyo wasn't in on it, it seemed that she was truly surprised that it was Kagome in the room and not him, but if he found out that Renkotsu did this to try and get Kagome hurt then forget about yard duty or the dungeons he would be a dead man.
"Yeah." Jakotsu confirmed with a nod of his head. "Was he wrong? I was just on my way to take my post back."
"We were just on our way there, won't you come with us?" Miroku ordered more than asked.
Sensing that they were not in any joking mood, Jakotsu developed a serious look on his face, a look totally not belonging on his usually mischievous face, as he nodded then followed everyone towards Inuyasha's room. They turned down the hall that his room was on and instead of seeing Renkotsu stationed right by his door he was standing by the room across the hall, Kagome's room.
"Kagome went back to her room?" Inuyasha asked as he stopped right in front of Renkotsu. He was surprised when the immense disappointment hit him right in the gut, he wanted Kagome to stay with him in his room - for his room to be her room too. However, he would let her move at her own pace, he refused to order her around and further damage her already beaten self-esteem.
"Yes, sir." Renkotsu nodded. "Said something about wanting to write some in her diary."
Sighing and really wanting to go in the room and be with Kagome rather than dealing with the possible treason of Renkotsu, Inuyasha ran his hand through his long black hair before looking away from the door separating him from Kagome and looked at Renkotsu. "We need to talk, come with me to my office." He said as he turned around and walked back toward his office knowing Renkotsu would follow. "You come too, Jakotsu." He said as he took his phone from his pocket, finding Suikotsu's number before pressing call and putting it to his ear waiting for Suikotsu to answer. "Can you come stand watch of Kagome, please?" He asked once the other man answered then hung up a moment later after saying thank you.
A few minutes later, Suikotsu came walking around the corner and took his post letting Inuyasha and the others take their leave for his office.
Once in the office, Inuyasha took his seat at his desk Miroku took a seat at one of the three black leather couches that were in the room and Jakotsu and Renkotsu took ownership of the two chairs that were stationed in front of Inuyasha's desk.
"Talk." Inuyasha ordered.
Jakotsu cleared his throat. "Renkotsu came to me saying that I needed to-"
"To take a break." Renkotsu interrupted giving Jakotsu a warning look that Inuyasha didn't miss. "Sir, Jakotsu just looked worn down so I offered to take post for him for a couple hours so he could rest and rejuvenate."
"And what of Kikyo?" Inuyasha asked not buying what Renkotsu was saying.
"Kikyo? She said something that she wanted to speak with you about something or other." Renkotsu said turning his hand around in the air.
"I thought she forgot something in his room?" Miroku questioned raising a black eyebrow.
"Uh, y-yes that too." Renkotsu stuttered.
"Uh-huh." Inuyasha muttered not believing a single word out Renkotsu's mouth. "Jakotsu?" Inuyasha asked turning his attention to the man in question wanting his side. At the corner of his eye, Inuyasha noticed Renkotsu clench his jaw and took a mental not of that.
"Uh, well, Renkotsu came to me mentioning that you wanted me to run an errand and that he would take post for me until I got back." Jakotsu answered honestly.
"And what was this errand that you needed to do?" Inuyasha asked feeling his anger rise, he didn't take betrayal very lightly.
"Jakotsu!" Renkotsu shouted in warning.
"Renkotsu!" Inuyasha shouted back. "You will NOT stop him from answering my question! Jakotsu, you will answer with the truth or face the same consequences that are coming towards Renkotsu! Now, answer!" He demanded of Jakotsu.
"H-he handed me a letter, said that I was not to open it and to deliver it to the mayor, said was your orders that I do as such at a vastly manor." Jakostu answered with truth.
"The mayor?" Inuyasha asked in shock.
"Why would you need to write the mayor for?" Miroku asked not liking the feeling of doom that lodged itself in his gut.
Renkotsu let out a sigh before answering. "The letter was merely an update over the issues he had downtown last week."
"Mmm." Inuyasha hummed. The issue downtown was a group of people was giving a group of yellows trouble and wouldn't let them shop in that vicinity, even though that was one of the few places that was yellow friendly - which once he was king, he would change that so that everywhere will be yellow friendly. The issue grew to be violent, the colors being the ones to become violent first, and there was bloodshed. Many yellows lost their lives that day because they needed to shop. It was Inuyasha's and his team to find out who the people was and why they ambushed people that was supposed to be safe in that area. They already had weekly meeting set up with the mayor about the incident downtown and the rest of the senseless murders of the yellows to go over what they had found out. Irritatingly enough, it wasn't much, and didn't that just put him in a pissy mood. Renkotsu wasn't helping with his mood at all in that moment and was about to take his frustrations out on him.
"Don't you already have weekly meetings set up with the mayor to go over that issue?" Miroku asked already knowing the answer and already knowing that Renkotsu knew that as well.
"Hmm, Mr. Miroku is right." Inuyasha confirmed with a nod. "You know as well as everyone else that we already have all that set up, so why go and send him a letter?" He asked setting his intimidation factor up to top level.
Renkotsu cursed under his breath, why didn't he remember that fact. "My Prince, I just wanted the mayor to be prepared for the meeting and not walk in blind." He thought up fast.
"I did not authorize you to send that letter!" Inuyasha roared, his anger getting stronger. "You are no longer Kagome's backup guard; you are now on yard duty at the west grounds until further notice."
"Yard duty!?" Renkotsu shouted shooting out of his seat and onto his feet.
Inuyasha responded by slamming his hands down on his desk and rising to his feet as well. "You're lucky I'm not sending you into the dungeons!" He roared back. "One more fuck up from you and that's where you'll be until the day you die!"
"But My Prince-" Renkotsu started but was interrupted by Inuyasha.
"I don't want to hear your argument! I made my judgement, and you are to abide by that!" Inuyasha snarled. "And if I hear one more time that you fucked up, well let's just say that you won't like the day. Now, go to you new post before I change my fucking mind!"
"Yes, your highness." Renkotsu sneered then turned on his heel to leave the office.
As the door slammed shut, Inuyasha sighed and plopped down in his chair and turned his attention to Jakotsu. "From now on, I'll be personally sending you and anyone else on errands until further notice."
"Yes, My Prince." Jakotsu nodded in understanding.
"Come, let's get you back to your post." Inuyasha said as he rose to his feet once again.
*X*
Kagome sat at her window seat looking out over the gardens that her room overlooked. Her mind raced with thoughts over what the Chosen One might mean for her, why did Prince Inuyasha call her that? What would that mean for her if she really was the chosen one? Would she even want to be that? Would she be able to handle all that? She was a nobody, it felt very overwhelming for her to be thrust into a role as important as the Chosen One.
She sighed just as there was a knock at the door. "Come in." She said, not looking away from the gardens. She figured that it was probably either Sango or Jakotsu coming to tell her something or other like they periodically did. They, especially Jakotsu, liked to keep her updated on the recent going ons in the palace. More times than not, they would make her laugh at some of the stuff that was happening - like one time Sango told her that as she was walking past the kitchen to come to her room, and she witnessed as Kaede tripped and fell face first in the dessert cake that she made for after dinner. Of course, she had to stop and help her clean it up before continuing on with her destination.
That was how they typically spent their days, going to each other's rooms and gossiping about what they saw or what they did or how they felt about certain things and people. They usually ended up a pile of three giggling bodies or blushing idiots that couldn't think a coherent thought away from who they were talking about.
"You look like you have a lot on your mind." Kagome jumped at the unexpected voice as she turned around with wide eyes and gapping mouth, Inuyasha chuckled at her making her snap her jaw shut and narrow her eyes at him. "Can we talk, just you and me?" He asked.
"Uh, sure. What do you want to talk about?" Kagome asked.
Inuyasha walked over to her and grabbed her hand, which sent sparks through her and made her breath hitch in her throat and led her to her bed so they could sit down. "About your mark and why you haven't had any powers present themselves."
"You mean I do have a power?" Kagome asked unbelievably. "Which one?" She could feel the excitement start to lick through her system.
"All of them." Inuyasha answered.
Kagome's jaw dropped in shock. "A-all of them?" She whispered. "How is that possible?"
"You're the chosen one, Kagome." Inuyasha said with a shrug.
"But how can I be the chosen one when none of the powers have shown up?" Kagome asked confused about everything.
"We suspect that your powers are blocked because of trauma." Inuyasha answered.
"Okay, if this is all true and I am the Chosen One, how do I unblock my powers?" Kagome asked starting to feel a little apprehensive about this.
"We think that you have to face your past and have that closure that you really need even if it wasn't for your powers, you need it for you."
Kagome shot to her feet and started pacing around the room. "Oh, no! I am not going back! You cannot make me!" She shouted as she turned to face Inuyasha pointing at him.
"I'm sorry but you have to, you are the Chosen One." Inuyasha said gently.
"What if I don't want to be the Chosen One!?" Kagome screamed at him.
Inuyasha sighed, he really didn't want her to have to go back there ever - if he had it his way, that place would be burnt to the ground along with anyone that ever laid their hands on her. If there was any way around having to have her go, he would do it in a fucking heartbeat. He stood up, walked to stand in front of her and placed his hands on her shoulders before dragging them down to her elbows and back up to her shoulders, he did that repeatedly hoping that he was giving her some kind of comfort. "Kagome, what happened before we met?"
Kagome took a sharp intake of breath as she took a few steps away from Inuyasha, shaking her head back and forth with wide terrified eyes. "No." She whispered.
Inuyasha could practically feel her fear coming off her in waves, it almost drowned him. How did she deal with this level of fear!? He thought as he tried not to choke and gasp for air. He noticed as her hands started to shake and her breathing start to get harsher. He took a step toward her and was pleased that she didn't step away from him. He placed his hands back on her shoulders and started rubbing her arms once again. "You don't have to be afraid anymore. Let me protect you. I have to know what happened though, so I can protect you fully from everyone and everything when we get there."
"No!" Kagome screamed as she pushed Inuyasha away from her. "I am NOT going, and I am NOT telling you shit! I am not the Chosen One, you'll have to find someone else!"
"We can't find anyone else; you are the only one." He said quietly. "What's got you so afraid, Kagome?" Inuyasha asked, trying his hardest to keep his cool. He was surprised when it was easier than he thought to not blow up on her, if she was anyone else, he would've done already lost his temper.
"Nothing!" Kagome yelled back.
"Please tell me?" Inuyasha begged.
"No!" Kagome refused to say anything.
"Why not!?" Inuyasha yelled starting to feel cracks on his patients.
"Because if I tell you, you won't want me anymore!" Kagome screamed as tears flowed past her eyelashes.
Shocked, Inuyasha took a step back as he stared at her with wide eyes. "W-what? What makes you think that!?"
Kagome snapped her jaw shut and shock her head back and forth.
Inuyasha sighed as he walked over to where Kagome stood causing her to take steps back to try to keep as much space as possible between them. She didn't really want to get away from him, though, but she couldn't help it she was terrified of thought of telling him anything about her past. He stopped right in front of her, placing both his hand on her shoulders - not liking that she flinched and started shaking - and pulled her towards him before wrapping his arms around her pulling her as close to him as possible.
"Please," Inuyasha whispered with his lips right beside her ear, "please tell me. I promise that I'll still want you, forever and for always."
Kagome whimpered and sniffled lying her head on his chest as she slowly brought her shaky hands up and fisted them both in the back of Inuyasha's shirt holding on for dear life as she tried to get a handle on her emotions.
After a few moments, Kagome took a deep breath and moved away from Inuyasha - though didn't remove her arms from around him and neither did he from around her - and looked deep into his eyes.
"D-do you promise?" Kagome whispered as she continued to look into the depths of his eyes.
Inuyasha removed one of his hands from behind her back brushing his fingertips along her cheek bone then tucking a strand of hair before placing his hand against her cheek. "I promise." He whispered before leaning in and pressing a kiss against her forehead, loving the sound of her breath hitching in her throat.
"I-I'm scared." Kagome mumbled as a new wave of tears threatened to overtake her.
Inuyasha ran his hand from Kagome's cheek to the back of her neck before pulling her head back to his chest wanting to protect her from anyone and anything, even from the demons from her past. "It's okay to be scared. I'm right here for you and I always will be." He said as he pulled away from her and grabbed her by the hand as he led her to her bed sitting on it before pulling her on his lap having her legs straddled on either side of his hips, wrapping his arms around her waist once again pulling her body as close to his as possible.
Kagome sniffled as she wrapped her arms around his neck and buried her face into his neck. After a few moments she moved her head to where she could talk legibly but did not remove her head from Inuyasha's shoulder nor did she untwine her arms from his neck. "It's not a very pleasant story." She whispered.
"That's okay." Inuyasha said as he grabbed Kagome by the shoulder so he could move her to look into her eyes. "I promise I won't think differently of you." She looked deep into his eyes searching for something that Inuyasha would gladly sit all day and let her look for what she would never find - his disgust of her, that's an impossible emotion to ever feel towards her.
After a few more moments of her searching Kagome finally nodded her head as she took a deep breath. She moved back in her original position with her arms around his neck and her head on his shoulder. "When Sango and I were young children there was an attack on our village and our parents were slaughtered, Sango and I were spared for some reason, and we were taken to the orphanage. While there we were made into slaves and forced to cook, clean and take care of the kids, even though some were older than we were. We were starved only allowed to eat one meal a day which was a small bowl of cold gruel, if we didn't do something to Mrs. Ito's liking she would take the one meal away that day - if we had already eaten then she'd take it away for the following day, we were starved." She let out a small scoff. "She didn't know that when she told us to throw away the leftover food, Sango and I took the food to our rooms and ate what little was left because we were so hungry. But her taking away food from us was her in a good mood, and that didn't happen very often, what she normally did was beat us with a belt buckle or with her own fists and feet or with whatever she could grab at the time, one time she hit me with a hot tea kettle."
Inuyasha was absolutely outraged at how Kagome and Sango were treated. He hugged Kagome even tighter as he thought of all the possibilities of a slow painful death that he could do to Mrs. Ito. He would make sure that no one would ever hurt Kagome or Sango as long as he was breathing.
Kagome, needing something to do with her hands, started running her fingers through Inuyasha's long black hair as she continued talking. "She almost caught us a couple times, but we always were too fast and put the food up before she opened our door to order us to do something else. We would always do our best to appease her but she always, always found something worth beating us over. However, no matter how hard Mrs. Ito beat us, I would've taken a million beatings from her if it meant that Naraku would've stayed away from me. When Sango and I came to live at the orphanage I noticed that Naraku would stare at me weirdly and would stay as close to me as possible. One day, when I was ten and he was sixteen, he came to me and told me that all the beatings that was dealt to Sango and me would cease to exist I if did something for him." She took in a deep shuttering breath as she continued to switch between running her fingers through his hair and twisting it around her fingers, his hair was incredibly soft, and she found herself loving it. "I asked him what he wanted me to do because all I wanted was for the beatings to stop happening to Sango, even though she was older I wanted to protect her, I didn't care about what happened to me at the time. He got this sick twisted look on his face as he said I want you to have sex with me every time I want you."
Inuyasha stopped breathing as he felt absolutely sick to his stomach, not at her - no, never would he feel that way toward her, but that disgusting low life Naraku going to a child asking for sextual favors! That's what made him sick to his stomach.
Feeling him tense up and stop breathing, Kagome pulled back to look him in the eyes. Inuyasha forced himself to calm down and to start breathing again, he would die before he ever made Kagome think that he didn't want to be with her. He sat still as he let her search his eyes for something that was impossible of being there, he didn't care though - he'd sit there forever letting her look. Not finding what she was looking for, she let a tiny smile curl at her lips. "I told him to fuck off." She whispered before lying her head back down on his shoulder and her fingers went back to work on his hair. "He didn't like that, of course, and the beatings between him and his mom got even worse - as well as the chore list got longer and more impossible to do. He kept trying to force me to be with him but before he got too far with me, someone would always walk in, and he would stop - or I would get away from him. The day before my eighteenth birthday, the day before you saved me, Sango and I was made to deep clean the whole house and to make sure the children behaved and stayed out of the way. As Sango and I were dividing up the work, Mrs. Ito came to us telling Sango to go ahead and start cleaning and that I would start later. She told me that she needed me to go down in the cellar to get a bottle of wine for when you showed up. I always hated going down into the cellar, I'm not a fan of darkness or spiders, and I think Mrs. Ito knew it because it was always me that she asked to go. When I got the bottle of wine and was about to leave the cellar, Naraku came down and started attacking me. He backed me up until my back hit the wine shelves and I slapped him trying to get him away from me, that wasn't a very good idea on my part because he started to choke me but before I passed out, he threw me on the floor and got on top of me. He kissed me and grabbed my breast aggressively, I tried everything I could think of to get away from him - eventually, before he could get his pants off, I jerked my knee up and slammed it into his manhood. Once again, he didn't like that, and raped me - when he was done, he left me to die on the cold cellar floor. I wanted to die. I don't know how much time passed but when the cellar doors opened once again, it was nighttime. Mrs. Ito came down saying something that Naraku was right and that I did break all her wine bottles then proceeded to drag me by my hair back into the house where she hit me in the face with the belt buckle making me fall to the ground then made Sango watch and count the ten lashings that she thought I deserved. After that we were sent to our room for the night to recuperate and be ready to clean the house all over again in the morning. And you came and rescued me." Kagome said leaning back to smile at Inuyasha with tears rolling down her face.
Inuyasha smiled back a sad kind of smile as he reached his hand up to trace over the scar that was left over from the belt buckle. Kagome closed her eyes and grabbed his hand to hold it on her face, she opened her eyes after a few minutes with a worried look in her eyes as she searched his eyes once again, he let her look for the confirmation that she needed. She didn't let go of his hand until she was satisfied with her search.
"I'm so sorry you went through all that, Kagome, and I promise you that no one will ever hurt you ever again. They'll die if they so much as think a negative thought about you." Inuyasha promised making Kagome's smile stretch further across her face. "I have to go make preparations for our trip, please come with me?" Inuyasha asked as he tucked a strand of hair behind her ear then brushed his fingertips across her cheek bone. "I want you to have the closure you so desperately need and deserve."
Kagome's smile faded as a terrified look took over her face. "You have to promise me that you won't leave my side and that they won't be able to get me."
Inuyasha placed his hands gently on both of her checks as he kissed her on the forehead. "I promise that no one will touch you while I'm there. They'll lose their hands if they even try to." He murmured against her forehead before moving away to look into her eyes. She still looked terrified but agreed to go with him. Once he had her agreement, he stood up still carrying her then turned around to gently put her back on the bed before leaving the room to go to his office.
Kagome sighed as she stood up from the bed and walked to her desk, sitting down and grabbing her pen to write in her diary.
Dear Diary,
I told Inuyasha everything that happened at the orphanage and strangely enough I didn't see the disgust in his eyes that I thought he would hold for me once he found out what I've been through. I was so scared to tell him, but he told me that no matter what happened in my past he'd always want me, maybe he really does like me? Love me? That's so weird to think that someone might actually want me, might actually love me. Maybe I should just let go and tell him how I feel, even though I'm still confused on if this is actually me feeling these feelings or if it's my mate bond with him. I'm going to try and just be with him regardless of if these feelings from both of us are from the mate bond, I have to try to make this work. I can't keep holding back from him anymore, it's too hard to keep my hands to myself, and speaking of hands - ohmegosh, his hair feels like silk! I was running my fingers through his hair as I told my life's story and I absolutely fell in love with his hair! Hmm, I wonder what else I can fall in love with.
She wrote, not without a blush, shock ran through her as images ran through her mind at that moment - hot, sexy, sinful images that had her squeezing her legs tight as a pleasurable throb developed between her thighs. Shaking the images away she continued to write.
Ohmegosh, I'm blushing now!
Anyway, anyway, anyway he wants me to go back to the orphanage to face my past - he said that I can't unblock my powers unless I find the closure that I need. I guess he's right but still this isn't fair, I don't want to ever go back to that horrible place! I didn't choose to be the Chosen One! But I guess it can't be helped, I am what I am. I have to face my past; I just hope this works and I'll be able to unlock my powers. Apparently, there's something big that's supposed to happen and if I don't have a handle on my powers then a lot of innocent people die, I don't want that - I'll do whatever I can to prevent that. But I'm not entirely sure I'm ready to face my past, what if I do and my powers still don't show? But even though I don't want to, I'm still going to go and face the evils of my past. Hopefully it works and my powers come out.
I hope everything works out, with me saving the world and with my possible relationship with Prince Inuyasha.
Anyway, I'll talk to you later Diary.
Yours truly,
Kagome H.
*X*
Sango laid on Miroku's bed on her stomach hugging the pillow to the side of her face with her eyes closed though she wasn't sleeping. Miroku came out of the bathroom buttoning up the sleeve of his shirt, stopping to drink in the vision lying in his bed. She still didn't sleep in there with him, but they did spend a lot of time together - and he was okay with that, he would go as slow as she needed to go. He was going at her pace.
The past few weeks that Sango and Kagome had been there, his and Sango's friendship had grown into something that possibly could turn into something more. He wondered if she had found her mate yet, did he reject her, did she reject him? Not that he wanted her to go through that kind of torture, but he sure hoped so, then he'd actually had a chance to be with her - but first he needed to tell her about his past, and doing so would force him to have to face his own past which he wasn't entirely sure he was ready for that but for Sango he found he could do it.
He had a mate once about seven years ago when he turned eighteen is when he met her and they mated right away, he absolutely adored her, she was his everything. They got pregnant two years later, however one night, while she was just weeks from giving birth, she drove into town when a drunk driver ran a red light and crashed right into her, hitting on her side of the car killing both her and their unborn child instantly. Needless to say, he tracked the fucker down and killed him right then and there while making it look like he killed himself. Inuyasha was the only one that knew about it.
It took him years to be even semi okay with having his neck mark less again. When mates lose their significant other their marks vanish from their necks, it wasn't a pleasant experience either, it hurt like a son-of-a-bitch, and Miroku knew right then and there that she was gone. Every time that he saw himself in the mirror it put him in a state of despair to the point where he couldn't have a mirror in his room or bathroom for the longest time, he only recently put mirrors back into his room.
He never thought that he'd be able to love anyone ever again, but looking at Sango lying in his bed he felt like he could actually love again. Would that be okay? Would his late mate understand if he moved on? It didn't mean at he didn't still love her and wish she'd still be here, but looking at Sango right now he didn't see himself not falling for her. It was practically unheard of, finding a second mate, but he desperately wanted her to be his second chance at love. Should he tell her about his past? Would that help her open up about her past? She needed to know that all he wanted to do was be with her.
"Take a picture, it'll last longer." Sango's voice broke him out of his thoughts. Miroku focused back on her, seeing that her eyes were still closed but there was a slight curl of her lips.
"Haha, you're funny." Miroku said with a smile on his face as he went back to getting ready for the trip to talk with Alpha Naraku. He was supposed to ask Sango if she wanted to go, to be honest, he was a little worried to ask - he knew she wouldn't take it well.
Sango's smile stretched further across her face as she opened her eyes and watched Miroku getting ready. She felt herself getting closer to him and cursed herself because of it, her smile fading away. She knew that there was no chance that they could actually be together. He probably already has a mate anyway, she thought as she squinted her eyes to get a good look at his neck. 'Hmm no mark.' She thought to herself, she still wouldn't allow herself to feel happy about that, it only meant that he has yet to find his mate. He'd probably use her until he found his destined mate and then be done with her, and - to be honest - that reason was why she was afraid to get closer to him, she didn't want to actually fall in love with him then be dumped and heartbroken once he found his forever mate.
"What's on your mind?" Miroku asked breaking her out of her thoughts, she looked at him and realized that he was done getting ready and was walking towards the bed. She got up and scooched to edge of the bed and sat upright as she fidgeted her hands with the hem of her shirt.
"Oh, uh, nothing." She said as she looked at the floor with a slight blush on her cheeks.
Miroku sighed as he gently grabbed her chin to move her head so she'd look at him. "Please tell me?" He whispered looking deep into her eyes.
"Um, just that I can feel myself getting closer to you and it scares me because it hasn't been that long since I moved in, and I haven't known you for very long. Also, I didn't know if you even had a mate yet so I looked at your neck but saw no mark, however, I didn't let that get me excited because you could still find your mate then want nothing to do with me and I don't think I could go through something like that." Sango mumbled out, trying to look away but Miroku still had a hold on her chin.
Miroku's hand moved from her chin, his fingers brushing along her cheek bone before moving to tuck a strand of hair behind her ear. "That could never happen, I won't find a mate."
"How could you be so sure you won't?" Sango asked.
Miroku sighed, 'time to face my past.' He thought to himself as he ran a hand through his hair. "Because I've already had one - she, along with my unborn child, died three years ago in a car crash that a drunk bastard caused." Miroku said as a flash of sadness showed in his eyes.
Sango's eyes widened as she picked her hand up to place on his cheek. "I'm so sorry, Miroku." She said as tears threatened to fall down her cheeks.
Smiling a sad smile, Miroku grabbed her hand to keep it from moving off his face. "I'm okay now."
"But you don't have a mark?" Sango questioned not knowing really anything about how mating marks worked.
"Once your mate passes on the mating bond sizzles out, it hurt like a bitch, that's how I found out that she was no longer alive. I went on a murderous rampage a killed the drunken asshole that killed her." Miroku explained. "It took me years to get over it, I couldn't even have a mirror anywhere near me without breaking it because I couldn't take not being able to see the mating mark that I wore with so much pride. I'm not proud of how I handled it afterwards, I became a drunk myself and flirted with so many women and slept with even more - I didn't know how to cope. I never drove drunk though, I could never put someone through what I was going through. I began hating myself, even thought of killing myself and being back with my mate and baby, but before I could I met Inuyasha in the beginning we got into a lot of fights and trouble, one day he got stabbed in the heart and almost died - we changed our lives around after that, he took being the prince and future king more seriously and I vowed to always be by his side and keep him safe. Even though all of the fighting and everything else, he took the time to help me get off the alcohol and helped me heal some, I owe him so much more than just my life and wouldn't hesitate one bit to jump in front of a bullet for that man. When I came to live here, knowing that I couldn't stand mirrors at that point of time, Inuyasha ordered all the mirrors to be taken out of the hallways and any main rooms, including mine, until further notice" Miroku paused for a minute. "A few weeks before you and Kagome came to live here is when I was finally able to have mirrors put back in here, when I was able to handle that, the rest of the mirrors for the hallways and such were able to be put back up - but he did that for me, so I'd be comfortable here, he didn't even know me that well and still went out of his way to remove all the mirrors that I might run into - even his own from his room."
"Oh, Miroku." Sango whispered with tears in her eyes.
"But anyway," Miroku said standing up, "we are leaving here soon so please get up and get dressed."
"Um, where are we going?" Sango asked wiping the tears from her eyes as she stood up, walked up behind Miroku and wrapped her arms around his waist and laid her head between his shoulder blades.
"We have to go have a talk with Alpha Naraku and Prince Inuyasha wants Kagome to go to get closure of her past and thought that having you with her would help her with that." Miroku answered as he laid his hand over Sango's arms and rubbing them gently.
Sango felt red hot anger burn through her veins as she snatched her arms from around his waist and took a few steps back. "Why the fuck would he want to put her through something like that!?" She yelled at Miroku. "Hell no, I won't allow this and I'm going to tell him right now that she's not going!" She said as she turned around and stomped toward the door.
Miroku grabbed her by her wrist just as she was about to turn the doorknob to exit room. "Sango wait."
"Let me go, Miroku." Sango demanded looking at him with fire burning in her eyes that he secretly loved, he loved her firecracker personality.
Miroku let her go immediately, not wanting to overstep her boundaries or her trust that she had with him. "Sango, please, she has to go. She needs to face her past so she can unleash her powers and save the yellows."
"This isn't fair!" Sango screamed as tears ran down her face.
"Sango," Miroku whispered placing his hand against her cheek and brushed his thumb against her cheek bone over and over again. "What happened to you at the orphanage?" He whispered.
Sango took a step back, shaking her head back and forth. "No, please don't make me tell you." She whispered.
"It'll be okay, I promise." Miroku reassured her.
"I promise you won't like want me anymore once you find out what I went through." Sango said.
"Why do you say that?" Miroku asked with all the care he could make come to the surface and show in his eyes.
"Because I'm used goods, Miroku!" Sango screamed as more tears ran unchecked down her cheeks. "I'm no good!"
"Used goods?" Miroku questioned feeling unadulterated anger run through his veins.
Sango looked at the floor as she shrugged her shoulders. "Yeah, used goods, Mr. Ito came up to me the day of my 16th birthday, after a particularly brutal beating was dealt to Kagome, he promised that he could protect us both, not from getting the beating but from having them be so severe. Being young and stupid I asked how he could protect us, I didn't want any more beatings at all but if he could protect us from the more severe ones than I thought that would be better for Kagome - I wasn't worried about me, I just didn't want her to go through that again. He told me all I had to do was to give him my body whenever he wanted me. At first, I said no but then he went on to say, 'that's a shame, the next beating that Kagome gets like that might be her last and you'll have no one else to blame but yourself.'" Sango took in a deep breath and still looking down at the floor continued to speak her truth. "As he turned to walk away, I told him to wait making him turn to look at me, I told him that I would do it if he would really protect Kagome. He got a sick twisted look on his face as he grabbed my hand saying good choice before taking me to the bedroom and throwing me on the bed before jumping on top of me. I was so scared and fought the first-time receiving slaps and punches, I had so many bruises by the time it was all over. Kagome asked me what happened, I lied saying that Mrs. Ito got mad over something and took it out on me. I've never felt so dirty in my life, but I learned not to fight him - as long as Kagome was protected, I could go through all the torture he was willing to deal out to me."
"He's a fucking dead man!" Miroku cursed as he went to jerk the door open.
"You can't kill him." Sango said quietly.
"And why the fuck can't I?" Miroku asked furiously.
"Because he's already dead. He got murdered about a year ago and the beating got bad again, of course." Sango said.
Miroku didn't say anything, he walked the short distance to where she was standing and wrapped his arms around her. "I'm so sorry you and Kagome had to go through all that." He whispered hugging her closer to him when he felt her arms go around him and her hands clutching onto his shirt. "If there was any other way around getting her powers unlocked, I promise we would do it, but this is the only way."
"Okay." Sango nodded before developing a very serious look on her face. "But you've got to promise me one thing."
"What is it?" Miroku asked willing to do whatever she needed him to in order for her to be okay.
"You have to promise me that I won't get stuck back there." Sango said.
Miroku grabbed her hand before kissing the back of it making her gasp. "You have my word." He said not letting go of her hand.
"Okay, let's get this over with." Sango whispered nodding her head as she turned to get dressed.
*X*
An hour later they were all in the limo, Inuyasha and the others were on their way to the orphanage that Sango and Kagome used to live in.
Kagome was looking out the window, chewing on her bottom lip and bouncing her legs up and down in a nervous gesture. She really didn't want any part of this at all, she didn't want to face Mrs. Ito and she most certainly did not want to face Naraku. She knew that she had to though, she didn't really have a choice if she wanted to save the yellow race. And she did want to, she really wanted to save the people she cared about with a passion and would do anything within her power to help them.
"Hey, are you okay?" Kagome heard Inuyasha whisper in her ear as he slid his hand on her leg giving her thigh a comforting squeeze.
Kagome looked him in the eye, giving him a small genuine smile and a nod of her head. "Yeah, I'm okay, just want to get this over with and start my training.
Inuyasha wasn't so sure that she was really alright, but he returned her small smile and nodded. He kept his hand on her thigh rubbing his thumb back and forth over her skin in a comforting gesture. He was pleasantly surprised when he felt Kagome's hand come over his then grip it in a way, he figured was to ground herself and feel better. He looked down at their conjoined hands before looking back up and at Kagome to see her looking back out the window. He maneuvered his hand around so he could lace their fingers together squeezing her hand gently, earning him a small gasp from the woman sitting beside him. She whipped her head around to look at him with wide surprised eyes, she relaxed after a few seconds and gave him a squeeze to his hand in return before turning to look back out her window.
"So, what's the agenda when we get there?" Miroku asked causing Inuyasha to look away from Kagome so he could answer his question.
"First we need to go to the orphanage and interrogate Naraku and Mrs. Ito again and then we can let Kagome and Sango have their way with them, however they see fit, so they can get their closure and then we will determine if they need to be punished or whatever and then get the fuck out of here." Inuyasha answered.
Miroku nodded his understanding.
"Do - do I have to talk to them?" Kagome asked in a small voice while still looking out the window.
Inuyasha felt his heart crack a little at her question.
"I know I have to at least see them, but do you think I have to talk to them as well?" Kagome asked as she turned her head to look Inuyasha in the eye.
Inuyasha felt his breath get lodged in his chest at the absolute terrified look that was living in her eyes at the moment, he vowed that once this was over that she would never come back here, and that look would never show in her eyes ever again.
"I'm sorry but I think you might need too; you have to get closure and I don't think you could get that without asking them questions" Inuyasha said with regret written on his face as he raised his hand to gently run his fingers along her cheek bone then through her hair as he tucked her hair behind her ear.
Kagome blushed a light color dusting over her nose and cheeks in a way that Inuyasha thought was absolutely adorable. She nodded her head even as her heart tried to escape her chest at the thought of talking to the very people that tried to break her. When Inuyasha saved her from that nightmare she never thought that she'd ever have to come back here but it couldn't be helped, she needed to do this so she could save the yellows from whoever was selling and killing them. She let out a small sigh and looked back out the window.
There was silents in the car for a few minutes before Miroku quietly said Sango's name.
"You asked me what would happen when I found my mate but what about you finding your own mate?" Miroku asked causing Sango to gasp and Inuyasha and Kagome both to look in their direction.
"Um, yeah, that won't happen." Sango said as she looked down at her lap.
"Why not?" Miroku asked as he gently hooked a finger under Sango's chin moving her head so she could look back at him.
"Because" Sango sighed, "he's already found me." She said leaving Miroku a little confused.
"So, where is he?" Miroku asked.
Sango shrugged her shoulders. "I don't know, nor do I really care, he rejected me."
Miroku felt rage swirl within his body as he felt the need to kill that bastard that dared caused Sango so much pain. He's never experienced the pain of being rejected but he was present when someone went through that pain, and he saw the damage that it did to that person. "Why the fuck would he reject you!?" He roared making Sango flinch, he hadn't meant to lose his control like that, but he couldn't help it, he didn't like the thought of her being in any kind of pain.
Sango shrugged her shoulders once again. "Because I'm a yellow." She whispered.
"It doesn't matter what color you fucking have!" Miroku raged on.
"But it does." Kagome said quietly making everyone look in her direction. "You guys don't fully understand because you're not yellows but everything you say and do is wrong and is punishable however you 'owner' sees fit." She said owner with a disgusted tone as she did the air quotation gesture with her fingers. Everything is always, ALWAYS your fault even when it's not, you still get punished for whatever happened even though you didn't do it. You are no better than dog shit under someone's shoe and get told repeatedly that you're better off dead and that you should kill yourself because you bring no real value to anything unless you are being sold to someone as a sex slave. Yellows fetch a nice price to be someone's sex doll because you can do whatever you wanted to them, treat them however you wanted to treat them. No one gives two shits about yellows." She said before looking back out the window before adding with a slight smile. "Besides, Sango got her revenge after the pain of being rejected subsided. She stood up with her head held high as she rejected him right back." She said with a laugh. "You should've seen the ass hat crumble to the ground in pain. But, of course, Sango got punished for embarrassing Mrs. Ito."
Inuyasha and Miroku both felt their hearts crack a little more at the thought of what Sango and Kagome actually went through but also felt pride swell within them at how well Sango handled being rejected.
While he was lost in thought of everything Kagome told him, Inuyasha was startled out of his thoughts when he felt a slight weight lean against his side and lay on his shoulder. He looked over in surprise to find Kagome snuggled up against him with her head on his shoulder and her eyes closed. A small smile curled his lips as he wrapped his arm around her to pull her closer eliciting a sigh of contempt to escape passed her lips. He felt overjoyed at the thought of her being comfortable enough around him to fall asleep against him and he vowed to never ruin that as he pressed his lips to the top of her head for a few seconds before turning his head to rest his check against where he left his kiss.
A few hours later and they arrived at their destination.
Inuyasha gently nudged Kagome awake whispering that they were where they needed to be making her jump and tense up at the thought of having anything to do with this Godforsaken place.
"Hey," Inuyasha whispered as he lowered his lips to her ear, "I'm right here and I won't leave your side for even a second, I promise, no one is going to hurt you while I'm around."
Kagome relaxed some giving him a nod with a slight smile. "Okay." She whispered.
They stepped out of the car and made their way towards the door of the orphanage. Miroku raised his fist up to knock on the door before stepping back and waiting for someone to answer the door.
A few moments passed before someone aggressively swung the door open. "What do you want!?" Mrs. Ito shouted before realizing who it was. "Oh, Prince Inuyasha, are you already tired of the yellows and are giving them back to me?"
Hope you enjoyed this chapter! Until next time, bye!