Chapter rewritten 18 Sep 2023

Oh, btw, there's no update, tho the current last chapter, which is titled "Ripples" and should be chapt 11, has been added plenty tidbits about wtf is happening

As for the rest; I took them down, capn'

that's probably why this shitpost is bumped up in the front page despite having no update

Why do i take them down?

Well, i didn't like where it was heading and it had too many plot holes that it'll only inconvenience me in the future. Also, I revealed too much in its latest chapter. I also didn't like the direction where I took Nyx. she became a standard 'manipulator behind the scenes' when she could have been something more fun. Like 'issei i hate you so let's hatefuck' sort of sick fun

Before you read, here's what you can expect from this story:

-It is a 'time travel' fic, it WON'T follow the canon's plot. You might think it does for the first few chapters, but it won't. Source: trust me bro

-Underused characters in the DxD universe. Mainly the females, cuz i know you're only interested in beholder of the boobas. Tiamat, Griselda, Roygun, Suzaku, Ingvild, Latia, Bennia, Kiyome, etc. etc. If you can name them, I probably already have plans in store for them.

-Edgy OP Issei. Tho the consensus that edgy=bad is dumb imo. if i make this Issei retain his old character, then it's also dumb, because it means in the years he's spend, he didn't grow jackshit. and more to that, it means his problems are insignificant to the point he's able to still retain his old personalities. It's like a soldier going through both ww2 and Nam and comes back home without issues despite having seen the horrors of both wars

Enjoy. Pls. PLS

Fates Reforged

[Prologue]

When they first met, it had been terribly dark.

It was so pitch-black that Issei couldn't help himself from taking a page out of the Creator's book and declaring, "Let there be light." With a hint of sarcasm.

And lo and behold, there was light.

The inky abyss surrounding him surrendered to the power of imagination and his mastery over dreams, courtesy of a certain colossal dragon. It didn't require more than a dash of imagination. After all, this rendezvous occurred within the confines of his own mind.

The bleak, suffocating void was swiftly replaced by a sprawling grassy field. It resembled the kind of serene, picturesque landscape where children might roll down hills with reckless abandon, much to the chagrin of their mothers. And husbands, often equally adventurous, would join the fun, swiftly earning their wives' disapproval. Or perhaps the roles would reverse, with women indulging in the thrill, trying to balance out the antics of foolish men like Issei.

But they all knew deep down that they couldn't help but love these lovable idiots, including Issei himself. Although, in hindsight, he couldn't deny that his girls had engaged in more foolhardy antics than he ever did during his younger, clueless days. And somehow, they always managed to blame it on him.

"Hmm?" Two reptilian emerald eyes blinked open, irritated by the sudden onslaught of brightness. As the crimson-scaled dragon took in the newfound surroundings, his eyes widened in surprise as instead of the oppressive darkness, a vibrant meadow now stretched before him.

"Who...?" Ddraig began, his massive scaly body towering over Issei. He surveyed the horizon before eventually fixing his gaze upon his 'partner,' who was perched casually on the soft grass. "You?"

Though his facial muscles were far inferior to humanoids and the like, Issei could tell his not-yet-loyal companion was raising an eyebrow at him.

"Me," he replied, throwing in an obligatory hand wave. "Surprise," he added, offering a nonchalant wave.

The Crimson Dragon Emperor bent down, his body now on all fours as he scrutinized Issei up close. In terms of appearance, nothing seemed amiss; before him stood the same 18-year-old boy with unruly brown hair. Yet, Ddraig sensed that something was off.

"You," he remarked, raising an invisible reptilian eyebrow in skepticism.

"Me," Issei responded, still unruffled as he took a seat on the plush grass. "Me, me, me."

Unless Ddraig was dreaming himself, then there shouldn't be any human out there who could stand before a Dragon the size of a skyscraper and hail them like he was just a sentient gecko on the wall. No… This boy wasn't Hyoudou Issei… His host shouldn't possess enough power or the will or even the insight to be aware of the presence trapped within his soul, let alone summoning him to a meeting.

"You're not him," Ddraig declared, a hint of suspicion in his voice.

"But I am," said the human, reclining comfortably on the grass. "It's still me. Hyoudou Issei."

Ddraig was unimpressed by Issei's easygoing demeanor. It was almost as if he were dealing with an entirely different person wearing his host's skin.

Issei leaned back, propping himself up on his elbows. "I promise I'm not lying. You could ask... Well, I'm not entirely sure who you can ask right now. Ophis, maybe? Or Great Red. Not sure if they'd remember me here though…."

Ddraig's eyes widened in astonishment. "Ophis, the Ouroboros Dragon? And Great Red?"

"Yeah."

"How did you even know their names? Just yesterday you were fooling around in your school as per the ordinary, doing nothing good with your two idiotic accomplices—"

"Hey, don't talk smack about my buddies," Issei interrupted, conjuring an imaginary pebble and tossing it at Ddraig's massive head, causing the rock to bounce off harmlessly. "I know they're idiots, but they're my idiots."

Ddraig's eyes narrowed with suspicion. "You clearly know something I don't."

Issei chuckled, his tone playful. "And that's what's bugging you, isn't it, Drakey? Want to know something else? I also know that in dragon years, you're still a wee baby."

Ddraig spluttered in disbelief. "Wh— how did you know?! Who supplied you with this information?!"

"You did, dingus," Issei replied, his smirk turning to a smile. There was something strange about that smile. Felt too familiar. All too warm and genuine to be faked. "Probably about some time within the next year. Hopefully we can lessen that into a month… I really could use a pal, honestly… I feel my sanity's slippin'..."

Ddraig blinked, utterly perplexed, and slowly sat down like a bewildered dog on its hind legs. He didn't fully trust this 'Issei' yet, but he was willing to listen. Because like it or not, he was stuck with whoever this Issei-poser was.

"What else do you know?" he prodded, "Convince me that you're from where I think you are."

"Well, yes, I'm essentially my future self coming back to… myself," he mumbled. "But fine. I know that you accidentally melted Tiamat's Golden Goose Egg at one point when you and your equally simple-minded rival couldn't stop fighting like a married couple who can't get enough of each other despite hating each other to the bone."

Ddraig bristled, ready to unleash his fiery wrath. "You dare to insult a Dragon Emperor—" he raised his entire body, casting an imposing shadow over his host, who remained unfazed and shot him an annoyed look. Ddraig had to do a double-take and suddenly felt a bit nervous despite Issei's size being only a fraction of his.

"A Dragon Emperor who didn't know better," Issei said calmly but not lacking a mild temper underneath, almost like a father lecturing his unruly child. "And yes, I do dare. It's in my middle name. Now, sit back down, scaly-boy, and reflect on your past deeds. Consider the havoc you wreaked upon the Underworld. Consider how you've effectively halved their population and then some."

Ddraig reluctantly lowered himself on all fours again. "But we were—"

Issei cut him off firmly. "No excuses. I don't care who you were or are. You two ended the lives of countless fathers, mothers, sons, and daughters. Were those lives nothing more than an afterthought to you? Did you not care as long as you got to duke it out with the 'white boy'?"

"But he's my eternal riva—"

"You have a rival, great. But that's your rival! Why did everyone in Hell have to suffer because you two wanted to punch each other into oblivion? How did you justify your duel as a license to murder everyone else?"

"They interfered our batt—"

"They were at war!" Issei threw his hands out of frustration. "You think God could just hit 'pause' and tell everyone to 'look, let's chill out for a bit'? Or the Satans just walk up to the Grigori Generals and negotiate another date for the battle or just count it as a stalemate?"

"...Well now I'm imprisoned…" Ddraig never cried, but in that moment, he felt like he wanted to. None of his previous hosts had ever addressed his past actions like this, let alone scolded him for them. "...That was in the past! What's your problem with it?"

"Everything!"

Ddraig was taken aback. "That's not reasonable."

"Yeah, right, as if what you did was reasonable to start with." Issei met his gaze firmly. "Look, without giving away too much about your future, let's just say that the mess you caused back then led to major, capital 'P' problems for not only the Three Major Factions but also for everyone else who had no part in it. It makes Akeno's depressing childhood and severe daddy issues seem like a sitcom in comparison."

Ddraig cocked his head to the right, his curiosity piqued. "Akeno? The Smiling Devil?"

"She's not the point," Issei responded, his tone growing more earnest. "The point is you and Albion wrecking so much shit that God died."

"Hrm— which God?!"

"The bearded one. Uh— the God of Heaven. Whatever. You know who I meant."

The dream world trembled as Ddraig bellowed. "The Abrahamic God?! Dead!?"

"Dude, easy down, you're causing a tremor in my head. I'm not that smart, what if my brain gets leaky?"

"He's DEAD?!" Ddraig once again shouted, baffled. "Then HOW will I ever get out of this cage?! Is my soul forever sealed!?"

"Look, we'll get to that later, alright? I promise. I swear. Now chill down a little, seriously. I know you're a baby and all but you're still a Dragon. Where's that pride of yours, huh?"

"..." Ddraig went silent for a minute, calming himself down. "...How did you know about that?"

"Kokabiel dropped that bombshell— look I'll fill you in later, but anyway, right now, you and I have more urgent matters to discuss. We've got a jam-packed future, my reptilian friend."

"I'm not a reptile."

"Details," Issei waved his hand dismissively. "We've got charity galas to crash, citizens to rescue, and an endless parade of Generic Evil Organizations Murder LLC. to thwart. Honestly, it's like they have a subscription service for evil. Sounds fun, huh? Well, it was soooo fun that I wanted to kill myself."

Suddenly, the youthful boy before him seemed to age a decade in a heartbeat. He sprawled out on the grass, staring at the imaginary blue skies with frustration etched across his face.

Ddraig observed his annoyance—too genuine to be faked. "If you know all that, then I suppose you really are from the future... because I can't come up with any other reasonable explanation for it."

Issei sighed, deflating like a punctured beach ball. "I swear, man. It's really me. You're one of the few I really need to convince." He knew his Draconic companion could be a bit thick in the head sometimes, but boy if it didn't grind his gears. Then again, he wouldn't be called the Boobies Dragon Emperor if it wasn't for him, so Issei counted it as even

"Look." Issei restarted. "I'm sorry in advance. I'm not always prickly like this, I swear. I'm just... fed up with things. Self-hate and all that jazz. We went through a lot. More than I asked. I stopped knowing if I was doing the right thing anymore. That's how messed up I am."

Ddraig mulled over the situation, gazing at his host's determined expression. It was an expression that seemed too mature for an 18-year-old. "I was never on the receiving end of a scolding like this," he admitted. "But strangely enough, I believe you. Still, I'd like to hear how you managed to leap back in time."

"Ah, yes, the burning question," Issei replied, leaning in with a mischievous glint in his eye. "But before we dive into the complexities of temporal shenanigans, we've got to address our long-distance relationship, buddy."

Ddraig blinked, clearly caught off guard. "Our...relationship?"

Issei chuckled. "I mean, who else can I chat with when you're the only dragon on speed dial? We're practically stuck together, so we might as well be friends, right?"

The Heavenly Dragon seemed to be considering this newfound friendship when Issei continued, "Now, about the time-travel gig. You see, in my timeline, everything's been wiped clean. It's like we hit the cosmic reset button. Stuff that hasn't happened yet or that I managed to change just... poof, gone. …As for proof, Ophis and Great Red were my go-to time-travel consultants, so go ask them."

Ddraig's curiosity was piqued. "We're...acquainted with them?"

Issei winked. "Well, not exactly regular pen pals, but we've exchanged a few words."

"I can't imagine those conversations being dull."

"Oh, you have no idea. It's like trying to have a calm chat with a hurricane and a supernova. But hey, at least they're reliable when it comes to timey-wimey stuff."

Ddraig couldn't help but crack a smile. "So why did you decide to grace us with your presence, future boy?"

Issei shot an annoyed glance. "Hey, I'm getting to it."

"...Grew some temper, didn't you," Ddraig noted, raising an eyebrow.

Issei was momentarily taken aback, acutely aware of the anger issues he'd developed and carried with him.

"...Yeah… Evidently," he conceded, his tone a mix of self-awareness and exasperation. The man with the appearance of a boy let out a sigh that only exhausted, overworked adults possess. "Sorry 'bout that. My brain's small, but I've got a lot of emotions, see? I promise I'll put on my big boy pants soon."

"You admitted your wrongs... at the very least," Ddraig muttered, a hint of self-reflection in his tone. He was somewhat ashamed that he couldn't do the same.

"Look, bud… We… Well, I had everything, but you were reveling in it as well. It was our glory, after all. Our name echoed from the Realm of the Dead to Asgard and Nirvana. People recognized us instantly, asking for photographs and autographs, telling us how much of an inspiration we were. Any chipped pieces of our armor were auctioned off to fund orphanages… But we felt like neither of us had the time to… well, just couldn't enjoy life anymore."

Ddraig emitted a low rumbling sound as he contemplated. "Hrmm… Did I ever realize it?"

"Dude, you're my only confidant, and we're practically stuck together. Not even death did us part." Issei admitted, his voice tinged with vulnerability.

"You died?"

"Yeah. Twice. I survived both times. Got lucky. Again, details."

"How far from the future are you? If our fame transcends even Realms, then surely you would have a spouse or two… And children."

"Course I did," Issei replied, his tone bitter. "But I only get to see my wives and kids once a year if I'm lucky. Just once. Not to brag, but the entire world's become pretty dependent on us."

"With great power there must also come great responsibility."

Issei wanted to punch Ddraig because of how many times he had heard of that bullshit adage.

Ddraig noticed his stern stare. "I may not be in a place to tell you that considering what I've done but... If not us, then who?"

"Yeah, right," Issei scoffed. "You know what I think of that? It's a grade-A load of baloney crafted by folks who'd rather sit on their laurels than find alternatives to relying on one guy who just wants to enjoy some family time."

Yikes. Ddraig winced. "...How old were you again?"

"I dunno. Twenty-three, probably."

The Dragon's eyes nearly fell off. "Twenty-three?! You're still that young and yet your bitterness exceeds that of an Elder Dragon?!"

"Hey, man, show me another twenty-three-year-old who has to battle Evil Gods, Dragons, or brainwashed Sacred Gear users on an hourly basis," Issei shot back. "It might excite you, but even you got fed up. By the way, you were the one who pitched this whole time-traveling idea, just to set the record straight, though I'm the one that pulled the trigger."

"...Fair point," Ddraig conceded, nodding. If a battle-hardened enthusiast like him was spewing such heresy, it was clear they were knee-deep in an epic crisis.

"Good," Issei nodded. "Before I got sent back, I made some promises. Promises that we need to keep, because they're my words, and by extension, your obligation too."

"...How am I included in your commitment…"

Issei raised an eyebrow and replied with a playful tone, "Your future self was kind enough to agree on your behalf, so if you have any complaints, feel free to take it up with him."

This would be a very trippy dream if Ddraig was dreaming all of it. "Fine."

"Great. Awesome. Well first off, once it's possible, we're grabbing Ophis. We keep her safe from being manipulated, and make her our friend," Issei declared confidently that Ddraig found it hard to doubt him. "We'll surround her with good people who don't want to use her for ulterior motives. And believe it or not, that's the easy part."

"...Very well. What would a Great Red request from us?"

Issei shook his head. "Nah, that crimson rascal didn't ask for anything in return. He's just the laid-back, 'go with the flow' kind of dragon. Said whatever happens to him, happens. He's cool like that. Damn dragon just wants to be the coolest…"

"Hmm…? But if not him, then who?"

"You," Issei continued, his tone growing serious, "I made a promise to the future-you. Or I guess past you. I dunno. Whatever. But here's the million-dollar question: do you really want to know?"

Ddraig took a thoughtful pause. "Despite my curiosity, I think it's best you decide whether I'm ready for it."

"Classic Ddraig move, throwing it all back on me," Issei quipped, his grin returning. "You must think you're pretty cool for that, huh?"

"N-No, that's not what I meant to do at all!" Ddraig protested, a hint of embarrassment creeping into his draconic demeanor.

Issei gave his partner an understanding smile. "I know, buddy. I'm just messing with you."

Ddraig felt a strange sensation tugging at the corner of his scaly cheek, something he couldn't quite attribute to dragon emotions. "Who else did you make promises to? Your spouses, perhaps?"

His smile fell off his face, replaced quickly by a frown. "No, they'd never allow it. I mentioned it as a joke to one of them during those brief moments we had together before we were off to deal with the world's mess. Her reaction? Well, it was like I'd told her I was filing for a divorce. In a way, she's not entirely wrong, I suppose."

"I see... It must be a tough decision. A bold one, indeed," Ddraig remarked, his curiosity piqued. "But isn't coming back to your past, in essence, a betrayal of the world you left behind?"

"...Someone once said 'Better to betray the world than let it betray me'," Issei retorted, his expression unapologetic.

As Issei shifted his gaze to meet Ddraig's, the Dragon was taken aback by the sight. Instead of regret or self-doubt, he saw a carefree smile, devoid of guilt, almost bordering on a smirk. It was the kind of expression that should have been weighed down by remorse, but Issei carried it effortlessly.

"The older I got, the more I regretted ever wanting to be a hero. I can't say if I've grown wiser, but I'm certainly getting older," Issei mused. "I wanted a fresh start. Hit the reset button on my sanity. Living for the world felt like clinging to a palm tree on a sinking island, and every high tide that came along chipped away at it. I wasn't living for myself, Ddraig. We weren't living for ourselves. We became the world's janitors, tasked with cleaning up the mess everyone else couldn't handle. And you know what? The world can suck a fat one for that."

With resolve in his eyes, Issei stood up and crossed his arms casually. "Look, I know it's selfish. But it's not like I'm planning to go full-on villain mode. Sure, I might have left those people in that future hanging, but after everything I've done for them? I think it's fair to say they owe me this much. And despite how sociopathic I may sound right now, there's no way for me to go back anyway. That future's been erased for me, and these hands are the ones that did it."

Issei wiggled his fingers, the same way he would if there were a pair of breasts in front of him.

"..." Ddraig could only stare in contemplation, unable to find a suitable response.

"And don't you dare criticize me for it, Ddraig," Issei warned, his tone firm. "You were right there with me, every step of the way. Right now, you might not be as disillusioned as I am, but I share my perspective with future-you. It's a confusing mess, I know. But worrying too much about a future that's no longer in your control? Well, let's just say that's like trying to tame a fire-breathing chicken."

Issei pressed on, recognizing the Dragon's hesitation. "You know, I could have just fed you some convenient lie about coming back from the future because everything went to hell, that the world just took a nosedive, plunged off a cliff, and we were left stuck in the pits with no ladder out. But that wouldn't be fair to you, Ddraig. You're the last soul in all these godforsaken worlds that I'd ever want to lie to, even out of necessity."

Ddraig held him in silence. Never had he become this conflicted, but there was a first for everything. Even for Dragons.

"And here's the kicker," Issei continued, his tone taking on a more introspective note. "I'm weaker than a week-old kitten now, thanks to the old me who never participated in anything meaningful and wanked his days off while being a delusional garbage to society."

"Hah. A common ground."

Issei snorted. "And I'm going to need your help if we want to ensure that our future is better than the last one—for our sake and for everyone else we'll come to care about. Well, mostly for my sake, I'll be completely honest. I'm selfish like that."

Ddraig snorted.

"You're the only one I can rely on, Ddraig. Without you, I'd probably be nothing more than a hopeless nobody or, worse yet, six feet under. So, here's the billion-dollar question for our lives: Are you in, or are you out?"

"I'm in," Ddraig replied without hesitation. "I had my worries that you might have turned, well, 'evil' in a sense, but everything you've said rings true. Even if you were plotting world domination, there's not much I can do to stop you either way. Sacred Gears, even a Longinus, are just tools. Most of your predecessors treated me as nothing more than that. I'm sure you've heard the stories."

"...Uhh... this is actually the first time you told me that… but sure! Yay us. Bros for life."

"Oh," Ddraig's emerald eyes blinked in surprise, a touch embarrassed now. "W-well, I don't need your pity or anything. It's not like I cared about those old folks; they're just relics of history now. Rather... for the first time since you became my possessor, I'm actually looking forward to the future we'll shape together, Partner."

"Hehey~ absolutely! We're going to be the bee's knees, the cat's pajamas, and everything in between!" Issei exclaimed, punctuating his words with an 'okay' hand sign and a cheeky grin. "Now, about those promises. I made two with you. I won't reveal the crucial one since you made me swear to keep it, but there's another one..."

Ddraig tilted his colossal head to one side. "And what might that be?"

"I promised you that I'd never let anyone give you ridiculous nicknames like 'Breast Dragon Emperor,' 'Titty Dragon,' or 'Oppai Doragon' for our Japanese fans and those foreign weebs who insist on using Japanese Romaji just because they're weebs—"

"STOP, STOP! Wh-what in the name of the damned are you blabbering about?! Who dared to give me such demeaning titles?!"

"Well. The world did."

"Then the world will pay for this insult!"

"Well, technically, it hasn't happened yet," Issei pointed out, raising an eyebrow. "Remember, this is the past for me, and it hasn't occurred in your timeline."

Gradually, Ddraig's rage subsided as he realized the truth in Issei's words. "But to think that someone would dare to insult me with such epithets... What could have possibly led to this affront? How could they tarnish my honor as the Crimson Dragon Emperor? I am the proud Welsh Dragon! I don't think of nonsensical perversion! That's within Fafnir's territory! Not mine!"

Issei nodded, feigning empathy. "I know, right? So embarrassing. It's almost as if you were hosted by some idiot whose life decisions were controlled by his penis."

At that, Ddraig paused, slowly connecting the dots, and then it dawned on him.

He had a very strong inkling that the perpetrator might be standing right in front of him.

"...It… Surely it couldn't have been you… right?"

"Well… technically, it's the past, past me who did it, so… by my impeccable logic, I'm completely innocent. Unless, of course, I decide to follow in past-me's footsteps and bestow upon you those delightful nicknames just to watch you squirm—"

Before they could delve any further into this bizarre conversation, their shared dream world was violently shaken. It felt as if an earthquake had barged in, threatening to disrupt their conversation. An all-powerful voice boomed through their surroundings:

"WAKE UP! WAKE UP! SHEESH, MASTER, IF YOU DON'T WAKE UP, I'M GOING TO GIVE YOU A BIG, SLOPPY KISS!"

"HYOUDOU ISSEI!"

Issei, with an exaggerated gasp, suddenly glanced at an invisible watch. "Oops! Would you look at the time? It's school o'clock! Cyagottagobye~!"

"GRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH—"

And Ddraig's anguished roar echoed through the dream realm as Issei abruptly left him, casting the Dragon back into the depths of his own soul, where he could do little but sit and contemplate his existence.

[Chapter 1]

||Before it All Fell Apart||

Issei's newfound powerlessness hit him like a sack of magical bricks. No longer could he effortlessly contort steel with a mere flick of his fingers, soar through the skies with the grace of a majestic goose, or shoot colossal laser beams while yelling out absurd attack names. Even his night vision decided it had better things to do, leaving him feeling more like a mundane mortal than the larger-than-life hero he once was.

But this was worth every bit of that loss.

Regrets might sneak up on him later like a sneaky ninja, but dwelling on possible future bummers wasn't his style. He was living in the past, which had inexplicably become his present, and he had zero intentions of sulking about his own decisions. Sure, he'd developed a slight cynicism, but his core optimism remained unshaken – because, honestly, things could always get a hell of a lot worse.

In the midst of the chaos, as he sprinted across the school's track field, a frenzied mob of Kendo Girls hot on his heels, Issei couldn't help but burst into laughter.

"What the hell is wrong with you, Hyoudou?! Are you seriously laughing right now?!" On his right, the bald Matsuda yelled at him. "Did they get you in the head?!"

"They say only a man who has lost everything can laugh in the face of certain death…" Motohama philosophized, his breaths resembling an overheating steam engine.

"Oh, I've definitely lost everything," Issei replied with a grin, abruptly halting in his tracks, causing a dramatic cloud of dust to billow up from his screeching shoes.

His two pals slowed their pace but didn't stop.

Matsuda's eyes widened with realization. "ISE, YOU MORON—WHY ARE YOU STOPPING?"

"You don't have to do this, man!" Motohama pleaded, realizing that Issei seemed determined to sacrifice himself to divert the rage of the Kendo Girls. "We can still get out of this mess if we stick together! There's no need for you to throw yourself under the rampaging Kendo Girls' bus!"

"My friends…" Issei said with that enigmatic smile of his, the kind you'd expect from a character ready to make a heroic exit. "Leave them to me. Live long and prosper, and remember my name. Tell my wife I love her."

He raised his right hand, offering a confident thumbs-up.

"ISE, YOU LUNATIC! You don't even have a wife."

"Forget it, Matsuda!" Motohama held his friend back, preventing him from rushing back to face the oncoming deluge of angry Kendo Girls. "This is his decision to make! We can't take it away from him! It just wouldn't be right!"

As the stampede grew larger in the horizon, the baldy nodded sagaciously.

"...You right. We should bail." Matsuda dropped their dramatic act as he knew the danger was very very imminent. He knew he wasn't planning to receive another hit to his family jewels. "We won't forget this Ise! Next ramen is my treat! Believe it!"

Issei nodded with a triumphant smile and a glorious thumbs-up, knowing his sacrifice wouldn't be in vain.

Of course, he didn't just plan to ruin his future by having his balls broken by a wooden practice sword.

As the sea of angry girls closed in, encircling him and dashing his hopes of escape, he focused on the task at hand. He might not be the powerhouse he once was, but his battle-hardened experience with mythological creatures gave him an edge even in his twig-like state. His body was yet to be strong, but his mind remained sharpened. So sharp it could cut positivity.

Facing off against an entire battalion, however, seemed like a surefire way to land himself in the infirmary, effectively ruining the rest of his day.

"Hah… hah… you're a brave man, Hyoudou," the brunette captain of the Kendo Team stepped forward, addressing Issei as she emerged from the girl mob.

Speaking of bodies, Murayama, their captain, sported the most formidable pair of breasts among the Kendo squad members. It was purely coincidental that she was their captain, of course.

"But don't think your bravery will save you from your punishment."

"What if I buy you lunch?"

"We get free lunch."

"Aw, balls," Issei raised his empty palms, causing the girls to instinctively back away from him as if he were emitting reverse-cooties. "...I'm here to negotiate the terms of my release."

"Terms of your release— you still think you can get away from this?! How many times have you peeped on us?!"

"Probably more times than we've been caught," Issei quipped, and somehow, he'd managed to avoid expulsion, even under the strict rule of Sona Sitri. Go figure. "But hold on your horses! Before you swing those wooden swords, consider this – why oh why are we risking our lives biweekly in the age of technology? We could just Google 'boobies' and voilà, unfiltered mommy milkers without the danger of getting clobbered."

Murayama blinked, then pointed her wooden sword menacingly at him. "Disgusting. Get to the point, Hyoudou. What are you suggesting?"

"The point is… someone might be paying us. And might be paying us good money for a single picture… An amount of dosh that makes us consider our life is worth throwing away… Because we might be owing another person big money… forcing us to become the way we are now; as three shameless perverts."

"Really…?" Murayama lowered her weapon, a concerned expression now on her face, as if contemplating the possibility that her classmate was ensnared in a web of debt. "How much do you owe?"

"Huh? Oh, no. I said 'might'. I was just making stuff up so my boys could get a head start before you come after them."

"..."

Silence hung in the air like a dark cloud after a storm. His friends' sympathy vanished as quickly as it had appeared when confronted with Issei's honesty.

"Alright then. Not only did you peep, but you also played with my feelings. Today is the day you'll regret being born, Hyoudou Issei."

"Won't be the first," Issei shrugged. "Do I get a last request?" he asked, trying to buy himself some time as he surveyed the looming circle of angry girls. "I'm not armed, and I really don't want to hurt anyone — because I can't hurt anyone. Fighting girls just doesn't seem right. Goes against the way of the samurai, you know."

"Yeah? And what do you think we should do? Just let you off scot-free?" One of the girls in the back yapped. Whatsherface.

A valid point, to be honest.

"I can't believe I'm saying this," the captain grouched, "but no matter how vile you are, sacrificing yourself for your friends is still a selfless act. Even coming from you."

"Sweet," Issei smiled. "So I go? Mayamura-san?"

"You stay. And it's Murayama."

Issei's triumphant expression faded. "Oh."

"We're still going to hit you, but I'll give you a chance. There's around twenty of us, but if you can endure everything I throw at you for one minute, we'll let you off this time."

"Oh?"

"You can try to dodge," Murayama continued, "but if you get hit just once, we'll continue with our previous punishment – beating you half to death."

"B-But Captain!"

"No buts! He could have run but he chose to retain whatever left of his dignity. It's only right to give him a chance. And have faith in me; I'm your Captain, after all."

The girls cheered. "Of course!"

"You're so cool Capn," Issei added.

"Quiet, you…!"

Zipping up, Issei breathed a sigh of relief. Thank goodness for Murayama's fondness for bullshido. Things could have taken a much darker turn. He might have ended up not just regretting being born but looking like a corpse too once they were done with him.

"Even if the defenseless is a perv?" A girl with short pink hair spoke up. Katase, despite her kind personality, could deliver a mean swing when provoked, and she was quite bloodthirsty herself. Murayama, on the other hand, upheld her honor and principles with great conviction.

"Even if the defenseless is a perv!" Murayama declared firmly, ending the debate. "We'll each face him one on one. Kendo is a noble sport, not a gang bang."

"Heh. Gangbang... This one's the reverse one. And not in a good way," Issei muttered quietly, then noticed the girls glaring daggers at him. "Sorry, I'll be quiet now."

Murayama took charge, ordering the girls to create a circle to give them room. She pointed her wooden sword at Issei. "No running away, Hyoudou. We're giving you a chance. Don't waste it by betraying us."

"Yep. I cross my heart. I might be a perv but I ain't no pussy."

"We'll see about that…" Murayama muttered as she readied her sword, gripping the wooden weapon firmly. "I'll be your first."

"Please be gentle with that hard stick."

Murayama did not appreciate that innuendo.

Issei prepared himself, adopting a self-defense stance with open palms at chest height, face exposed, and feet spaced apart. While he could have fought back and inflicted some serious damage with his counters, he knew this wasn't about overpowering them. This was to see if his body could keep up with his mind. And if not, to what extent. He couldn't hit as hard as his strength was pathetic, but dodging should still be in his area of expertise.

"Ha-aaat!" Murayama launched a direct assault, stepping forward and thrusting her sword straight toward his nose, attempting to knock him out.

An intention Issei was thankful for, since that would spare him from the rest of the girls' anger, but getting hit at first strike would defeat the point. So Issei took one step back and watched the white tip of the sword hang just inches from his nose.

Taken aback, Murayama retracted her sword, straightening her posture. "...You… you've developed some good reflexes, Hyoudou…" she muttered. "Not many can dodge my first attack like that. You should be proud."

"Really? Ya sure you didn't just screw up?"

"...I take that back...!"

Her movement, trained as she was, was easy to read. He just didn't have as much time to react as he was a human boy with the experience of a World Guardian - a made up title to make him feel good given by 'the world'. Whatever that meant.

Issei continued to evade Murayama's strikes as she swung horizontally from his right side. He bobbed and weaved like a skilled boxer, darting to the right to avoid her follow-up attack—a downward strike that hit nothing but air and grazed his bangs.

Having faced opponents with fancier and deadlier swords in the past, Issei knew their glaring weakness: they couldn't do much when he got in close.

So he pressed forward.

Slowly, but surely, as he continued to dodge Murayama's swings, he made his way to her. Realizing this, the Kendo Club Captain mitigated his advance by stepping back. For each forward step he took, she took one step backward, some slightly to her left or right so she wouldn't be backed against the live wall.

The sixty seconds were nearly over without Murayama ever landing a hit and trying to regain distance to strike with her sword. Frustration and confusion started to settle, and her finesse was getting weakened by both fatigue and annoyance, and her white shirt became dusted with sand.

"Haah… haah…" She panted, taking a break from her assault to catch her breath. This wasn't going as planned. Issei's movements were efficient and economical, wasting no unnecessary energy. He looked remarkably fit, despite a bit of sweat on his cheek.

'This body isn't as half-bad as I thought…'

{That was splendidly done, Partner.} Ddraig complimented.

'Oh? You can talk to me like this again now? Sweet. I wonder if I can still mute you...'

{W—} Ddraig was muted. And unmuted. {...So you can sever our link already… I really wonder how capable you were before.}

'Pretty heckin strong, dude. One sneeze and an entire mountain is gone,' Issei said, and Ddraig couldn't tell if it was a joke or a simple truth. 'Anyway, talk to you later—'

Shouting her kiai, essentially a battlecry term for Kendo, pumping herself up as if shouting it could make her strike harder or more accurately, Murayama leapt in, feinted, and aimed for another downward attack to his head. As she made her very linear slash, Issei shifted to his side and closed in on her like an oncoming train.

The surprise charge was successful. His unexpected surge caught Murayama off guard, and she hastily retreated, losing her balance on the uneven ground and stumbling backward.

But Issei managed to break her fall by grasping the wooden sword she still clutched tightly even as she lost her balance. Pulling it back, he then extended his free arm around her back, performing an impromptu tango dip, albeit with a wooden sword in place of a hand.

Several audible gasps were made.

And in Murayama's face of shock and bewilderment and the creeping red hot blush that was starting to conquer her cheeks, an image of Rias Gremory's blushing face instead occupied his mind.

That would be nice. He did plan on redeeming himself for all the missed hints that were thrown at him during his early life as a Reincarnated Devil. How he could be denser than a black hole was merely due to his lack of confidence, and if given the chance, he wasn't going to break hearts this time by being a brainless dildo.

Never. Not again.

"H-H-H-Hyoudou?" On Murayama's part, her heart was trying to jump out of her chest, which didn't make sense to her. This must be because he was a man… yes. A boy. He was just a boy and nothing more, and she was only flustered because he was the opposite member of her sex, who was also a massive pervert. Yes… that's it. Nothing more. Absolutely nothing more. So why couldn't she maintain eye contact with him?

"Guess I failed," Issei said, sobering up and helping Murayama get back onto her feet and unhanding her sword without even thinking about it. His flash of sadness wasn't caught by anyone present. He kicked the ground in a very mature display of expressing his disappointment. "Dangit— I was doing so well!"

Murayama stared at him, befuddled.

"..." The Kendo club members exchanged silent glances, and Katase finally spoke up, "C-Captain?"

Without a noise, they realized the fact that their captain and leader was frozen in place and face completely beet red was a very, very, very bad omen. And though they hated to admit it; his performance and the glamorous finish was something some of the girls had sometimes daydreamed about. No one truly expected they would witness a live reenactment of their daydream, and be performed by the Captain they adored and the Pervert they despised.

"...What…? Quit staring at me like that and get on with it. It's never too late to develop masochism… I guess…" Issei said, resigning to his fate as he closed his eyes. While it wasn't within his plan to be sent to the infirmary, he didn't mind making several adjustments if things didn't go as planned. A good plan is a flexible plan, as he believed, since that way the plan never truly fails, only different degrees of success.

However, Murayama was quick to protest, "I-I-I refuse to count that! That's not a swing I made, and you were holding me back from a fall! I refuse to accept a hollow victory."

"Yeah well… I mean he did dodge everything you threw at him for a whole minute…" Katase said quietly, not really wanting to be heard. "But can't we take one hollow victory? Just once? Just this time?"

"Eeeehh… Katase-chan, that's not fair for him," A girl argued.

And the rest started to back him, "Are we going against Captain's words? I don't wanna do that…"

"But he's—"

As the girls bickered amongst themselves, Issei opened his eyes. He had stopped listening for quite a bit and now wondering what the hell was the damn holdup.

"So… Am I staying or what."

"...You can go… But the next time we catch you peeping again—"

"Yeah don't worry," He slinked past the girls who ruefully gave way. "Won't get caught next time. Smell ya later, sword nerds!"

"Wh— why you!"

Before they could even think of chasing him again, Hyoudou Issei had executed his greatest escape yet.

As he moved forward in this second (technically third) life, Issei contemplated whether it was considered a third life at all. He retained his memories and hadn't died or been hit by a truck. He didn't intend to completely reshape his future but rather explore the roads he hadn't taken while ensuring the results remained desirable. This was all about taking or avoiding responsibilities to make his future less packed with "save the world" missions.

And if fate dared to try and mess with him, he swore to make her his bitch this time.

Just like Raynare, who had been waiting for his arrival by the school gate, steadily losing her patience, unaware that she was on course to make the worst mistake of her life.

To be continued...

Yes, it isn't the first time travel fic, but I swear it's different. It won't even follow the canon dxd storyline because that's what's Issei's trying to prevent here

If you don't like his character or feel like "WTF HE'S A FUCKING SOCIOPATH", give it a time. You'll understand why he's bitter, and if you're able to put yourself in his place, you'd have done the same. And don't worry, he's not going to break down every 5 chapters. He's an adult in his younger body, not the other way around

Anyway. Review plox. Hit that follow button. I want this to be my most popular story, beating everything i've written before, because I'm that confident in this.