Different Degrees of Dysfunctionality
Mornings at the canteen of Rhodes Island were usually quite calm past a certain hour. Not necessarily quiet, no, if only because the sheer number of people coming and going was in itself enough to cause quite the noise even after rush hour. There were, of course, some days on which the hustle and bustle would turn into a veritable mess, even a near disaster on the worst occasions, but those were rather rare occurrences all things considered. And, as a matter of fact, that morning happened to be a remarkably tranquil one. The only noticeable thing to have happened so far was a short caprinae leading a small herd of not-so-small black sheeps into the cafeteria and then back out shortly after, though some would say she was the one being led around instead. Nothing else particularly worthy of mention took place.
It was on that particular morning that Phantom could be found at the cafeteria. All tables there were made to host at least four people, with the average being six and some going as far up as ten. The one he had chosen was, quite surprisingly, of the second kind, rather close to the walls of the large dining area and in a position which allowed him to not be in the immediate line of sight of those walking in while also not giving off the impression that he was trying to hide from view. It was rather late, at least as far as having breakfast went, which explained why less than one in five seats were occupied. And be it by chance or by some other reason, his surroundings were devoid of other people.
Phantom himself had only arrived a short while earlier. Just enough time to get himself a cup of tea and decide on which chair to sit on. As he stood there, staring at his own reflection on the still hot surface of the drink, ms. Christine kept him company -or perhaps it was the other way around-, sitting atop the table and casting her gaze on their mostly empty surroundings. Her eyes eventually spotted someone, at just about the same time Phantom's ears recognized the approaching footsteps. And thus he raised his head.
"I do hope I haven't kept you awaiting my arrival for too long, Phantom"
"Worry not, director. I'm the one who arrived early"
"That is most kind of you. My apologies then, for I believe I should have showed you the same courtesy"
Pallas took the seat opposite of him, placing a tray with her breakfast, a bottle of wine and a single glass in front of herself. She had placed two, the first time they'd sat down to talk like that, but Phantom had insisted on not drinking alcohol, and thus the priestess had stopped offering him any. After another two or three times of her offer being rejected, admittedly, all on different occasions. As for wether he had done so out of simple personal distaste for the spirits or for some other reason, Pallas had decided to not inquire upon, not at the time at least.
And as for the fact that Pallas was already drinking that early into the day, he had somewhat mixed feelings about that. Though perhaps 'odd' would be more apt an adjective to describe them. He knew that some people could hold their liquors better than others but, even after having witnessed first-hand just how exceptional the priestess' tolerance was, he still couldn't help but see uncorking a bottle so early in the morning as a bad habit. With that said, Pallas had yet to provide him with any concrete reason to truly complain about said habit of hers, and complaining about someone else's habit when it had no effect on him or others would've been, at the very best, a foolish way to both waste time and bother others.
He did have some concerns for her liver, admittedly, but that was a worry better left to the people over at Medical. That and the fact that, between himself and Pallas, the one with real medical knowledge was the priestess, not him. He had little to no reason to think she wasn't aware of the potential risks.
But this is, all in all, nothing more than a digression, or rather a perhaps unnecessary preamble.
"I must confess that I was hoping for our meeting to take place at a different location today" she spoke while taking her pancakes from the tray and offering Phantom a brioche at the same time, still from the very same tray.
Sometimes he wondered if her attempts at cordiality weren't a little overbearing, or if he had simply grown too unaccustomed to that kind of human interactions. As a matter of fact, however, he had no ill feelings towards brioches, so that was one courtesy he truly felt very little need to refuse.
Perhaps that was just him lowering his guard to a degree.
"Our presence here must mean that this other location you speak of is unaviable then"
"Oh, not at all in truth. The deck of the landship is, to my knowledge, always open for all to use, so long as there are no Catastrophes near this traveling vessel. And today is not one of such occasions"
"It is raining today, director. And the wind that brought the rain to us is far from a pleasant breeze"
"That it is, yes. And still, at times rain can soothe one's mind much better than a warm ray of sunshine, would you not agree? Unfortunately, taking care of the logistical side of a morning meal atop the deck in the midst of such weather revealed itself as more arduous a task than I had initially expected. But that was due in no small part, I believe, to my very own lack of foresight, for I should have made such preparations much earlier so as to avoid this very situation"
"I'm not particularly fond of the rain, director. But" he decided to add, leaning a little further against his chair "I can say I am not fond of the clear sky either, no" he replied, taking a bite out of the brioche.
It didn't quite compare to the ones one could find in a good victorian cafe, but it didn't taste bad by any stretch of the imagination either.
As for Pallas, she bent her head slightly to one side, a faint something changing in her gaze. A vague hint of a question perhaps, one left unspoken as she filled her glass instead and took a more than generous sip of red wine.
"I must also apologize for my absence from the rehearsal of two days ago, Phantom. As the creator of this project, writer of this script and director of this play, my presence should be all but assured at our every meeting"
"One absence is much too little to get upset about, director. Besides, you are aware of Suzuran's inability to attend that same rehearsal due to other commitments. And Skadi failed to show up as well. I would not be so quick to call what took place then a rehearsal to begin with"
"Skadi was absent?" she asked, repeated rather, something heavy suddenly weighting her words down. Though wether that something was aimed at the absent woman or at herself, Phantom couldn't tell. He leaned towards the former, however.
Pallas filled her glass again and then leaned back into her chair as well. Phantom took another sip of his tea too, while ms. Christine strolled to the far end of the table and sat there. For a short while, no more words were spoken, and the priestess took the chance to eat some of her pancakes.
"You said someone had caught you attention, director. Whoever this someone is, shall I take their absence as an indication that they turned down your invitation?"
"Alas, that is indeed the case. It would seem that our troupe will be lacking a musician still"
"A musician?" he asked back.
Neither his voice nor his body language gave it away, but he was actually a little surprised.
No, perhaps he had given a little of it away. A display of emotion Pallas hadn't failed to catch, one as artificial as it was spontaneous. An old habit from his time on the stage.
"Does that perchance pose a problem?"
Yes, in truth, yes it did. He had no concrete proof of it, merely a feeling, but he believed Skadi's singing could simply not mix at all with any kind of external melody. He had only heard but a brief part of her song, of one of her songs, and she clearly had something else on her mind back then judging by her performance, but that impression had still etched itself deeply into his mind.
Together with the feeling that Skadi simply shouldn't be allowed to sing in front of anyone, ever. But he just couldn't understand why.
Besides, it's not like she and this other musician would've had to perform during the same scenes anyway. So, rather than any of that, he decided to bring up a different point.
"I merely thought you'd be looking for a third actor, or for someone knowledgeable in the way of set design or costume making perhaps"
"A reasonable concern, yes, and I cannot deny that, seeing how there already is a singer present in our troupe, we might not be as in need of a musician as we are of other kind of members. Oh, I am by no means saying that the two are equivalent or interchangeable, I merely recognize that they can fulfill a similar role in a stage play. But, most unfortunately, I have yet to be contacted by any new potential member, and I myself have failed to find someone who might be interested in joining us for the amount of time this play will no doubt require to reach its maturity"
"That's not surprising. Doubly so when considering that Rhodes Island doesn't even have a theatre. As things are, we might well end up having no place to stage this play even once the other preparations are over with"
"You speak the truth, Phantom. Regrettably, my attempts at rectifying that have all been fruitless as well. But I am still putting my most sincere effort into the resolution of this matter, of that I can reassure you"
That's also not surprising he thought, though he decided to keep that one to himself and finish his brioche instead and move to a different subject.
"There are a few parts of your last addition to the script I'd like to discuss, director. Or rather, we might have a fundamental problem with the latest scene you have written. And potentially with other scenes too, depending on what the script in its fullness will entail"
"A critique from a master of the art! How most joyful, to be taken in such consideration as to receive your judgement! Do speak, Phantom, I am- "
"Miss Pallas! Mister Phantom!" a voice suddenly greeted them from half across the cafeteria, catching both their attentions.
"Oh, young Suzuran, young Shamare" Pallas replied as she turned around to see the two little girls walking towards them at different paces, each carrying a tray and one followed by a walking doll "To meet you here at this hour is surely a surprise, but a most appreciated one without a doubt"
"The rest of today's morning lessons were canceled at the last minute so we have a bit of free time" Suzuran explained once they reached their table, the young vulpo bowing a little.
"That does not explain why you are having breakfast at this hour" Phantom pointed out, his voice as neutral and somewhat distant as usual as he casted an imperceptible glance at both children.
"Ah, that's because... I, ehm, lost track of time and stayed up until late yesterday. I didn't hear my first alarm this morning so I had to skip breakfast to make it on time" she replied, her ears dropping down as she explained.
"Quite unusual for you, truly, and yet quite pleasant at the same it could be said, to know that your diligence still leaves room for such youthful mishaps to happen. Small incidents of this kind are, after all, one of the many seasonings that contribute to the flavour of our life's spring. And... " she added, casting a quick glance at Phantom to confirm that what she was about to say wouldn't bother him "... please, do feel free to take your seats here with us"
"Thanks a lot! Oh, we're not disturbing you, right?"
"You're not, child. Don't worry" Phantom answered.
The feline was... not entirely at ease around Suzuran, in truth. She was too cheerful from him, too energic. Too bright. But she was respectful enough to not step into what she perceived as other people's personal space uninvited, with maybe a few occasional exceptions for her closest friends. Not like she could've actually entered his personal space by force, naturally, but the lack of attempts was definitively appreciated.
Then there was Shamare, who had remained silent until then and still didn't utter a word. But she nodded a silent greeting and took a seat next to Phantom. So Suzuran sat in front of her and next to Pallas, if only because she felt that three people sitting across a single one at the table would've been rude. Ms. Christine turned around and ran her gaze on all four of them, before moving it back to the main entrance, as if on guard duty.
But for only a few moments, after which she stood back up and turned around, walking between the trays of food and drinks. Suzuran leaned over and tried to reach for her head, a slow and careful attempt at petting her, but the cat gracefully avoided her hand and strolled all the way to Phantom, her tails briefly grazing the vulpo's palm in an almost mocking fashion before the cat jumped on the empty seat next to him and lied down there.
"Aaww... "
"Fret not, little Suzuran" Pallas spoke, seeing the mixture of disappointment and sadness on her face "Very few are granted the privilege of physical contact by Phantom's most elegant friend"
"Ms. Christine has... " Phantom himself began to speak, only to stop for a brief moment as a familiar feeling ran up his spine "... no ill feelings toward you, of that I can assure you"
"What's so good about petting a cat anyway?" Shamare asked, Suzuran's mere presence greatly thinning the wall she usually kept between herself and the rest of the world, as evidenced by the fact that she had just spoken.
"I'm afraid I cannot quite guarantee the same to be true towards you as well, young Shamare"
"They're soft! And fluffy!" Suzuran began to explain to her friend "Mousse's cats sometimes rub their little heads against you and they're so cute when they do that! Oh, but they purr like a feline every now and then, and that feels a bit weird... oh, miss Skadi!" she changed subject upon seeing the aegir enter the cafeteria.
Phantom and Pallas exchanged a very brief glance. Suzuran and Shamare seemed unable to tell, just like the overwhelming majority of people on board actually, but there was a sort of... aura to that woman, a presence neither the former actor nor the priestess could quite explain. Something that felt both exceptionally foreign and intimately familiar at once. Though as far as their thoughts about said presence went, the two were of pretty different minds.
As for Skadi herself, she looked around for a few moments before setting her gaze on them and walking up to their table.
"Good morning, miss Skadi"
"... "
"It is a pleasure to have you here as well, Skadi. I believe this to be the first time our troupe has gathered in full at the cafeteria ever since you most kindly accepted to join us. Shall we celebrate then?"
"Lunch is not too far, director. I advise against that"
"... hi" Skadi simply replied to all four -arguably three- of them, and it was quite hard to tell if that on her face was confusion, social awkwardness or something else entirely.
She briefly scanned the seats and then took the only empty one left, at Pallas' side. As she did so, Phantom briefly looked at ms. Christine, who on her part seemed focused on Skadi.
"May I offer you a small token of friendship? It would be most uncounth to dine while you have nothing to your plate" Pallas asked as she offered her one of her pancakes.
Skadi's gaze seemed rather lost, however, and she showed no sign of having even heard Pallas.
"Skadi? ... " the priestess leaned forward to whisper into her ear, taking advantage of the fact that Suzuran had briefly moved her attention back to ms. Christine "... Ishar'mla?"
The name Pallas had heard from Skadi herself once, the name whose true significance she ignored, seemed to catch her attention. Skadi turned slightly towards her to answer, her gaze focusing to a degree.
"... no. No, I am... Skadi. Skadi is fine" she replied as she grabbed the pancake, not entirely sure of what to do with it maybe "The other day" she added, turning to the others "I was... not there. Sorry"
Truthfully, a part of Pallas believed Skadi was in need of... specialized assistance. But that was neither the time nor the place for that, not to mention that something in the back of her mind softly whispered that she was hopelessly wrong on that.
"Oh, Shamare told me the rehearsal didn't really happen anyway, she and mr. Phantom just red the script instead, don't worry" Suzuran replied, her attention brought back by being addressed almost directly "And I also couldn't attend" she added before beginning to eat her cereals.
And Phantom casted an even more ephemeral glance at Shamare, this time together with Pallas.
"May I ask what kept you from coming, Skadi?" Pallas inquired as she pulled a new bottle of wine from her bag to replace the previous, now empty one.
"Miss Pallas, you shouldn't drink so much. It's bad for your health"
"Ah, your concern for my well being is most appreciated, little Suzuran, it truly moves my heart to see you so readily worry for my health. But worry is not something you ought to feel for me, for I am used to much more intense spirits than this, in much more generous amounts, and neither my mind nor my body will suffer from a small morning taste such as this one" she replied.
"That... might be true, I suppose, but... "
"I also wonder what kept you occupied yesterday" Phantom told Skadi, splitting the conversation into two as the others kept talking about matters of spirits and livers right next to them.
He didn't much worry about her having missed a rehearsal, in truth. Honestly, Skadi didn't even have anything to do during the rehearsals yet, between how messed up the stage's planning was and her apparent lack of direction about what she actually wanted to sing to begin with. No, he was just... concerned. Why, he didn't know. There was nothing he was sure of when it came to that woman clad in red, who had only then remembered to take off her hat too apparently.
"I was dreaming" she replied "I was dreaming of my kin. Or... perhaps I was dreaming with my kin"
"Oh, was that about your family?" Suzuran asked, having overheard the reply and having somewhat misunderstood the meaning of 'kin', like pretty much everyone else at the table.
"Family? ... yes. Yes, my blood kin is my family"
An odd way of expressing herself, Suzuran thought. But that was around the third or fourth time she had heard Skadi talk like that, and she was getting somewhat used to it.
"How are they?"
"They are... far. Very, very... far away. But... they are... thriving" she replied slowly, as if having to look for some words on a dictionary before speaking them.
"That's good to hear. How many relatives do you have? Oh, if I may ask, I mean" Suzuran continued, still somewhat confused by Skadi's weird choice of words but not really surprised anymore.
"More than I can count. I believe"
"... really? I only have mom and dad, so... I wonder how it's like to have such a big family?" she wondered out loud, equally amazed and stunned by that answer despite not having really taken it literally. Maybe Skadi was just really bad at math? She refrained from voicing that question though, it would've been way too rude.
"Quite a few rumors I have heard about your parents, Suzuran" Pallas chimed in "And I would be lying if I said that my curiosity was not piqued by some of them. I hope to not be intruding into private affairs by asking you to tell me more about them, if possible" Pallas joined in.
"Not at all! Oh, but what kind of rumors? I didn't know people were talking about them"
"Outlandish nonsense the likes of which you can expect to hear from petulant, ignorant children" Shamare replied between one bite from her peeled apple and another, her ears twitching exactly once.
In the meanwhile Morte, which had seated itself on Shamare's lap with one of her arms to hold it in place, had turned its head to look at either Skadi or ms. Christine. It was quite hard to tell where exactly its gaze was directed, since it had buttons for eyes.
"Is that so? Well" she started to answer, taking a brief pause to eat some more of her cereals "Dad's a kannushi. Oh, that's... I think a priest is a good way to describe him? I'm not sure how to translate the word from higashian. He was in charge of ceremonies and other rites like that, and everyone liked him"
"A person of faith! Tales of Higashi's spirits, rituals and folklore I've heard aplenty, and yet hardly ever the same one was narrated to me twice or more. I would be most honored to meet a religious figure from your homeland, young Suzuran, to converse in more detail of such a vast culture" was Pallas' answer, which both started and ended with a more than generous sip of wine.
"Dad's really busy even now that we left Higashi though, and he can't come see me all that often" Suzuran replied, her ears and tails dropping slightly as the words left her mouth "But I think I can tell him that you're interested! Oh, I know, I'll write about you in my next letter!"
"I would be most grateful for this graceful act of kindness"
"... what about your mother?" Skadi chimed in without looking at Suzuran, perhaps surprising some of those sitting at the table, perhaps startling even herself.
"Mom's in middle management. But I don't really know management of what" she added "I tried asking once but they said it's a really complicated job and that I wouldn't understand it even if they told me" she explained with the faintest hint of a pout on her face.
That was not quite a lie, a somewhat watered down version of the truth rather, but there were things Suzuran had been told she shouldn't mention to anyone, even though she truly didn't know what exactly her mother's job was.
"They're not here?" Skadi dug further as she only then turned to look at Suzuran, unblinking.
"Mom is really busy too. She and dad can only come see me once every month or two, sometimes not even that" she replied.
Shamare turned towards her too, with a somewhat unusual look on her face, but said nothing.
"You should... spend more time with them, while... "
Before Skadi could finish her sentence, Pallas placed an hand on her thigh to get her attention. And then she shook her index beneath the table. She had a faint guess of what her next words might've been otherwise, an hunch we might say, and those were not things a child that young should be made to think of just yet.
"... while you're... not as busy yourself" Skadi continued after a somewhat long silence, asking herself what she was even talking about in the first place. Vague bits of memories which didn't quite felt hers briefly surfaced in her mind, only to sink back in right after. She ate her pancake at last, if only do to something, and then looked for a napkin to clear her hands with, more out of muscle memory than anything else.
Suzuran, on her part, did seem to find that pause a bit weird, but not enough to bring it up apparently.
"Oh, what about you, mr. Phantom? Is your family doing well?"
The feline took a last sip of his tea, a part of him musing at how odd it was for him to still be sitting at such a table, partaking in such a conversation. Would that amuse Whisperain, he wondered. No, amuse was not the right word.
"I have not heard from them in quite a while, child. I cannot deny having some... fond memories of them" he lied -did he?- "But I believe our paths are better off not crossing again" he replied, earning from Skadi a stare he couldn't quite decipher.
"... I-I'm sorry, I didn't think you had a fight with them"
... why he immediatly wondered. He had just spoken lies, half-lies at least, so why hadn't he simply refrained from answering at all, he questioned himself.
"Young Suzuran" Pallas interrupted her apology "There was no malice nor ill will in your question, and you received an answer through neither coercion, insistence nor trickery. There is nothing you should apologize for"
"She's right" Shamare simply chimed in, bothered by the downcast ears of her friend.
"Relationships between members of a family can be a complicated river to sail through, even for those born in those very same waters" the priestess added "This is but one fact of life, and not all complications are to be seen in a negative light. As for me" she then answered the unspoken question in the vulpo's eyes "It has been a long time since I last spoke with my esteemed relatives, for Minos is far and away from here, but there was no animosity in our last parting"
Only searing disappointment and still-burning delusions, the former still warm, the latters growing colder with each passing day.
"And you?" Skadi asked Shamare, though her eyes were still fixed on Phantom "What... about you? Rs ?"
Suzuran turned towards Shamare as well, if only because the two had never really talked about her family and the subject had her curious, albeith somewhat... hesitantly so. She hoped the question didn't annoy Shamare. Pallas, on her part, simply took another sip of wine -a new bottle, which got her yet another worried look from Suzuran, however brief- while finishing her pancakes. Ms. Christine had gotten on top of the table and gone to sit between Phantom and Skadi.
As for Shamare herself, she pushed her now empty bowl away a bit, just enough to pull Morte up against her chest and stare at its face.
Saying she had never thought about either her family or her old house -the word "home" felt wrong- since her departure from that town would've been false but, at the same time, the two had only rarely made their way into her mind. And yet there, sitting at the table with the other members of that rather heterogeneous thing of theirs they called a troupe, a sort of deside crawled into her head, a wish most people would've considered perfectly ordinary, and yet one Shamare herself would call pointless if asked, perhaps even stupid.
She stared at Morte, the doll's lack of reply almost unsettling her, that very same doll then easing her mind as well with the very same silence which had just bothered her.
Her mind went back, but it didn't travel far. Just to the previous evening. Suzuran had stayed up late, yes. She had received a letter from her parents, and only went to sleep after having fully written her reply. A simple fact which gave rise to something ugly within Shamare. Something dark and sticky, and yet warm and alluring, and yet still sickening.
Her mind returned. And then she spoke.
"... I want to see my grandfather"
"That" Pallas said "I believe is something we might be able to arrange"
"... eh? Ah" Shamare replied, having only then realized those words had not only made their way into her mind, but even out of her mouth "No, I didn't... "
"Can I come too?" Suzuran joined, getting up to reach for her friend's hands and holding them with perhaps a little too much enthusiasm while making sure to not shake Morte out of her arms "I'd love to meet your family!"
"My family's not... " she began to say, only to stop before finishing her sentence.
And for a short while nobody spoke. Suzuran quickly grew embarrassed if not downright anxious, worried that she might have said or done something wrong. But she still held on to Shamare. And, eventually, Shamare held her hands in turn, her hug around Morte loosening a bit.
She didn't miss her father. She didn't miss her mother. She didn't miss the mansion or its servants. She didn't miss the lake. She didn't miss the island, not the town nor its inhabitants. But even so...
... her eyes wandered to Pallas.
"I see no reason why a child should be denied the company of her grandparents, young Shamare" the priestess spoke "If reuniting with him is what you desire, I shall contact the appropriate office and make preparations for your return, temporary as it might be. I am unfamiliar with the burocratic process and measures necessary to accompany a child outside the landship and back, in truth, but if need be I am more than willing to join you personally on this trip back to your home. In fact" she added, her eyes moving to the other people present "This might be a chance for us all to travel together, might it not? I am sure our spirits will be brought further together by such an experience"
"That sounds fun!" Suzuran agreed right away.
Phantom didn't answer. But... he suspected word of that proposition would reach Whisperain one way or another, even if probably later rather than sooner. And he couldn't help but think that she would insist for him to go. Perhaps because of that, while he didn't accept, he also refrained from turning down the invitation.
"... us... me? Too? ... yes. That is fine" Skadi replied.
"... thanks... ?" Shamare replied, wondered maybe, the word little more than a whisper, almost more of a question.
Truthfully, she doubted Rhodes Island would let her go back there that willingly. They knew how things were like in that town for Shamare, to a degree at least. But... she had already made the medical staff give her Originium stuffing for Morte against their own better judgement before. On multiple occasions even, and they only took notice of one of such instances. She could just suggestionate the right person again. The right people, if needed. Even if someone realized, they would have probably already left by then.
Yes, she could return for a little while.
And yet, still she didn't smile.
Thank you for reading.