Author's Note: This is meant to be a Sequel and an extension to my other fic, Siege of Portcestre. You can read this on it's own but be warned there will be some spoilers from the other fic. Disclaimer, I am also not a Christian. I am writing out of the knowledge that I learnt at school so if I got anything wrong, I apologise in advance. Anyway now that's been cleared up, I hope you guys enjoy this AU of Oswald being in Valhalla and the rewrite of the Hordyfyalke arc where Eivor goes to Valhalla.
Eivor stretched as her head pounded. Slowly getting up, she scrutnized her surroundings.
I'm in some sort of strange bedroom, similar to the one back home in Ravensthorpe, only Where am I?
Fuzzy images started to flicker, as her memory slowly started coming back.
The blizzard, walking in knee deep snow for ages only to end up in some sort of advanced cave where there was a metal mechanism. The last thing she remembered before ending up here.
As her vision started to return back to normal, she swung both feet out of the bed.
Sigurd. I need to find Sigurd. I came here with him, I need to make sure he is ok.
Just when she was about to walk out of the bedroom and into the surroundings outside, she bumped into a man who was clad in green clothing.
"Ah!" Eivor yelped as she jumped back
The mysterious man also jumped back at the same time upon bumping into her. They both pulled back away from each other in fright at the same time.
Oswald returned to his senses first. "Eivor? Is that you?"
Hearing his voice, Eivor snapped back to her senses. "Oswald! What are you doing here? Aren't you meant to be dead?"
He frowned a little hurt. But then What did I expect? After how I last spoke to her, I don't deserve any kindness from her, not after how I put her through so much grief all because of my reckless actions that day.
"I was. But I'm not I made it to Valhalla, after you sent me there when I died. Remember?"
Eivor racked her brain thinking back to that horrible day six months back where he had died after she failed to stop him, an event she tried so hard not to think about and push back ever since. So Sigurd was right, this thing really leads to Valhalla. Looks like he made it here after all. I wasn't sure if he would do, due to the fact that he was a Christian before. I wasn't sure if removing the necklace would be sufficent enough for the gods to accept.
Sensing her silence, Oswald spoke up worried. "Eivor. Are you alright?"
"What..." she stuttered "Yes I'm fine, and yes I remember. I'm glad you made it here, Oswald. I was worried you wouldn't make it you know with you being a christian and all, no Saxon has ever made it up here before, not even the ones who fall in battle"
Oswald chuckled laughing as if it was no big deal "Of Course. You don't need to worry. Everything is great here. I wake up everyday to sunshine and plenty of food more than enough to satisfy and fill my belly. Everything is quiet and peaceful here. No such thing as unhappiness exists. It's like a golden paradise like the legends say. I'm happy here, even the raiders here welcome me as their own"
Oswald thought back to the first day he had arrived in Valhalla, after he had died.
He had woken up in the same room as Eivor at first, feeling very confused as it was different to Christian Heaven, or so he had heard from the bible and other people. But after all this was the norse world not the Christian one so what did he expect?
Feeling Curious, he had left the bedroom only to be faced with a very big dining hall, with the biggest feast one could see while the sun shone brightly above them all. There were rows and rows upon of Dane Raiders and Warriors, everything that he should hate. All his enemies in the same room as him.
But suprisingly he felt nothing, no hate, no anger just neutrality. It was almost as if everything in Earth never happened and had been left behind up here in Valhalla.
Cautiously and Curiously he approached the table trying to find a seat, but there was none he tried to squeeze through next to a big burly Dane raider who was drinking from a wine goblet while scoffing as much grapes as he could in his mouth.
"Excuse me" Oswald started trying to squeeze through.
Suddenly everyone stopped talking as the various laughter died down, as everyone at the table stared towards Oswald scrutnizing, silence filling the entire hall.
Oswald gulped frozen in nervousness as everybody stared at him, making him feel very unwelcome.
"Who are you? How the hell did you get here?" One Vikingr with a black beard and hair demanded
"He's a newbie. Looks Saxon to me" Someone else butted in adding in
"Saxon? Shouldn't you be in that fancy heaven of yours with that God of yours that you worship?" Another added pointing and scrutnizing towards Oswald
"I... errr" Oswald hestiated as everyone looked at him scrutnizingly
"Well speak up then boy. Before we knock your arse out for wasting our time"
"I died in battle. And a friend of mine sent me here before I did. Eivor. Eivor Varinsdottir you may know her. I fought with her in battle before I died"
The warriors turned around to face each other in confusion, until suddenly a dweeby Danish Raider spoke up suprisinging everyone, Oswald included.
"Hey your the kid from East Anglia aren't you? I remember you. You beat Rued in the Holmgang didn't you, then you were with the Wolf Kissed when she led the assault at the castle just before Rued died weren't you? Your Oswald, the King of East Anglia"
Oswald looked at him in suprise. "Yes" before terror hit his system as he heard the word "Rued" again. "Your one of Rued's raiders aren't you, I hope Rued isn't here amongst you and that you lot aren't going to kill me after what I did to him..."
The raider laughed back at him, this time in a friendly tone, as Oswald's shoulders sunk in relief. Phew, he doesn't want to kill me unlike last time.
"Yes I was there during the holmgang and the assualt at Burgh Castle. I died in the battle, I was killed by the Wolf Kissed while she was trying to rescue you, shortly after my old master put a knife to your neck. Don't worry about Rued, he's rotting in the icy realms of Hel's domain as we speak right now. Odin sent him away after what he did, even by his standards what he did was too much. Hurting his wife, yuck. That is not tolerated in our society" he spat at the end
Oswald sighed relieved that Rued wasn't in Valhalla. He was worried that Rued may have been there, having been Dane and the fact that he died in battle by an axe, he was worried that his former foe would be there to taunt and torture him in the aftermath so he was glad he wasn't and also that his ex nemesis men wasn't going to harm him either.
"This here is a hero, Boys! This Saxon that you see here, fought to the death in front of my eyes, dragging my old master to the depths of the sea and to hell. He is no ordinary saxon. He belongs here with us." The raider walked up to Oswald patting a hand on his shoulder, as the latter flinched at the sudden contact.
Everyone stared in silence scrutnzingly until suddenly cheers started to erupt as cups, fists and plates started to be banged and slammed loudly on the table.
"Welcome to the family and to Valhalla, son. If you ever want to sit with us you are more than welcome. You earned your place here" The raider continued as the various Vikings started celeberating around them.
Just then a horn blew, as another gate at the end of the feast hall opened. The warriors got up running towards the gate's exit dropping everything. Oswald frowned in confusion as they all ran towards it.
Another raider stopped by Oswald. "We're going to battle now, Want to fight with us. It would be an honour to have you by our side, Saxon"
"No" Oswald shook his head "Maybe another time. But thanks for the offer"
The warrior nodded before he charged towards the gate screaming "For Odin!" then he was gone.
Oswald sighed as he turned back ready to head back to his new bedroom, when a young woman with short blonde hair stopped him.
"You said you knew Eivor right?" Svala started
Oswald turned around to face the strange woman. "Erm Yes I did, Why?"
"I am an old friend of hers. We go way back to Norway. I've known her since she was young. I used to live in the same settlement with her before I died. I'm just wondering, How is she these days? Is she alright?"
Oswald sighed as he decided to think on how best to tell her what happened when he last saw her only days ago. Various memories flickered back to the last few seconds he was alive. The feel of her tears falling and dropping on his bloodied chest as he lay there dying. The sound of her voice screaming as he was impaled. Her sobs and chokes as she desperately tried to shake him awake, to no avail.
Pushing those thoughts away as he noticed Svala was still staring questionably at him as she was still waiting for an answer he never gave her, he answered.
"I don't know" he answered truthfully "The last seconds I had with her before she died, well.. she was all over the place. Upset and grief stricken. I like to think that she is doing better now, but even then I am not sure"
"Oh" Svala's face dropped "I hope she is alright. I can only hope for the best for her then.. Thanks for telling me, Oswald"
"Your welcome" Svala was about to walk away before Oswald stopped her in her tracks
"Wait a minute. I didn't get your name, What is your name?"
"My name is Svala. If you ever see Eivor again one day, tell her that when she has time to come and see me" and with that she dissappeared.
Svala, Svala. Oswald thought to himself. I wonder when I will see Eivor again.
Months later, Oswald was laying in bed while the other raiders were occupied in battle outside. He had been doing this the past few months, refusing to join in with the fight, choosing to retire in the room everytime such a thing happened.
Ignoring the various sounds of screaming and the sounds of steel clashing against each other, he stared at the ceiling lost in his thoughts.
I wonder how Eivor is doing right now, What she's doing right now. If she's moved on and forgotten about me. Does she even know I'm here?
I keep thinking back to that day and everything that's happened. I can't help but feel I went too far with everything. I was going to tell her that I was sorry but I died before I got the chance to, now she'll never know. Why was I so mad? It's hard to imagine right now when I'm missing her and feeling completely different about everything.
I wish I never charged in front of the champion, I wish I wasn't so reckless. Maybe things would of been different if I wasn't caught up in so much hate and anger. Maybe I would be with Valdis, or maybe I would be with her.
Stop thinking about these things. They've all moved on from you, nobody could care any less about you, not even Finnr. He didn't even join the battle. Why are you thinking about them, When they don't even stop one second of the day to do the same to you?
Shutting down his thoughts, once more he turned the side trying to sleep. Perhaps the loud screaming and battle noises outside would drown out the internal pain he had inside.
The following morning
Oswald walked back from the feast hall having filled his tummy full of food once more, heading back to his chamber. He was crossing the coridoor when he bumped into the person he least expected, somebody who he hadn't seen in months.
No. No way. That's not Who I think it is, or is it? Eivor? But How come she's here, did she die in battle?
"Eivor Is that you?"
Back to the present day...
"That's good. I'm glad your settling in well and making new friends here, Oswald. Now Where is Sigurd? Have you seen him I need to find him?"
Oswald tried not to let his face drop when he heard Eivor change the subject to Sigurd instead. Here I am pouring my heart out again and oversharing my feelings when she probably doesn't feel the same for me.
So he pushed it away and focused on reassuring and answering her question about Sigurd instead.
"Oh, Sigurd? Yeah I saw him talking to the raiders outside. He's fine Eivor, don't worry. It'll also give us some time to talk. I've really missed you"
Eivor sighed relieved. Good. That idiot is safe. He's right, we can talk a bit. That goofball can wait until later.
"Sit down Oswald" Eivor patted a space on the bed next to her as Oswald awkwardly sat down on it facing her.
He asked the question that he had been dying to ask her, ever since he bumped into her.
"So how come your here, Did you die in Battle, Is that why your in Valhalla too?"
Maybe she got herself in another battle again but this time she and Sigurd weren't so lucky to escape death. Just like she said to me half a year back that you can't cheat death everytime, maybe it's also finally caught up to her. No one can run from death's hands forever.
Eivor spoke breaking him out of his thoughts once again. "No. I'm not actually dead, neither me and Sigurd are. We came through this simulator that we found in a Cave. We're not dead, We're just visiting. It was Sigurd's idea to come here, I just followed him"
"Simulator?!" Oswald couldn't help but exclaim in a matter of shock and confusion. What socery and devil's work is this?
"Yes" Eivor sighed. Perhaps telling him was a bad idea, he's losing his marbles over it. I shouild of known Christians and their god, he would think it was some sort of devilish work, just like if it was the other way round I thought it would of been some dark seidir.
"It's Complicated. But I'm not dead. I'm fully well and alive, you still are though."
Oswald sighed relieved, shoulders slumping down once more now that he had gotten over the inital shock of learning about the simulator.
I'm glad that she's alright and she's not here because she got hurt and died in battle, that would be selfish of me if I thought like that.
"I'm glad Eivor. I'm glad that your not hurt. Ever since I've been here, I can't stop thinking and reliving the day we last saw each other, the day I died. I was meaning to say before I died that I'm sorry. Sorry for the way I treated you, lashed out at you all because you decided not to spare Rued and on the battlefield. If I could go back in time, I wouldn't of acted the same way. Yes I was upset, but I went too far and now you will forever live with the guilt of my blood on your hands"
Eivor looked up at him as releasition hit her. So that was what he was going to say as he choked on his own blood in front of me, that he was sorry? After all this pain he put me through, he's finally sorry? Sorry that I can't look at any other man the same now, Sorry that I carried the burden of his blood on my hands for many months after? He's sorry for all of that? She couldn't help but feel bitterness at the final part.
Instead she shook her head trying to push the thought away. No that's all in the past. You've moved on from all of that. Don't make the same mistake as last time and let your ego and selfishness get in the way and ruin everything. At least he is remorseful now. Just be glad he still doesn't hate you like how he did back on Midgard.
"No. Oswald. I should be sorry. I didn't listen to you and because of that it lead to you not trusting me and your marriage with Valdis destroyed and ruined as a result, then later you charging at the champion as a result because I broke your trust as a result of that. It's my fault that you died"
Oswald looked towards Eivor who was frowning and looking down guiltly at the floor instead of him.
"It's not your fault Eivor. I chose to charge at the champion. You tried to stop me, but my impulsive and reckless self didn't listen to you. I was naive and immature to think that I would have a chance at surviving such a fight. Don't you ever blame yourself" he reached over towards her placing a hand on her shoulder
Upon feeling his soft touch on her shoulders, Eivor looked up to see a gentle and calm Oswald looking at her. For a moment they both stared at each other. Oswald broke it first, awkwardly coughing and looking the other way.
Before he could stop himself he blurted out "I couldn't care less about Valdis actually. That marriage was doomed since the very beginning. I mean what was Halfdan thinking? That he could place some random stranger in my life and that I would suddenly fall in love with her overnight and make babies? I mean he's insane to think such a thing!"
Eivor frowned at Oswald in confusion and at his outburst. What was that? Where did that come from all of a sudden? I didn't know he still hated her that much in the afterlife, maybe I should be lucky that I wasn't on his blacklist still.
Seeing Eivor's very confused and scrutnizing reaction, Oswald flushed. Whoops. I said too much again. Stupid babblemouth I am. Shut up before you blow your cover and end up ruining things once more! She doesn't feel the same about you ok? The fact that she asked about Sigurd says that.
"I'm sorry about that. I don't know where that came from. Probably because you mentioned Valdis again" he chuckled nervously
"Right... ok" Eivor drawled, throwing him another questioning look
"That reminds me. How's Finnr? Is he alright? How did he react when he found out about my death?"
Now it was Eivor's turn to shift uncomfortably. Oswald frowned at her once more, concern hitting his brows, before he could speak his mind, Eivor beat him to it.
"He didn't take it too well. That night I told him, he was upset, very upset so upset that he drank himself to sleep that night. He's fine now, don't worry. He actually sailed me here from England, he's outside in the boat waiting for me and Sigurd to come back"
Eivor thought back to that night six months ago where Finnr found found out about Oswald's death.
Eivor had just come back from Elmenham, having informed Valdis of Oswald's death. There was only one other person to tell, and that was Finnr.
Arriving at the dock. She headed for the Jomsviking barracks where he resided.
Finnr had stayed behind along with Sunniva and the rest of the raiding crew. Portcestre being landlocked, meant that unlike in East Anglia or other River raids they didn't need the longship or the raiding crew to help. So Finnr had stayed behind. He knew that Oswald was at the battle though, as Eivor had told him about the invitation and letter she sent before leaving Ravensthorpe.
So Finnr understandably was very upset and suprised, even more so than she expected. Valdis was already bad enough, but Finnr was a whole another level.
Brushing back her nerves, she arrived at the hut where Finnr was.
Finnr was grinning widely as he sat on a log sharpening his axe. He spotted Eivor hanging by the doorway, staring at him.
"Eivor! Your back already, How was Portcestre?" he grinned
Eivor sighed as she leant against the doorframe trying to delay delivering the grim news once more.
"Not good. Sigurd's safe but it came at a huge cost. We lost a dear friend today, me and you both"
Finnr frowned, placing the stone he was using to sharpen the axe back on his lap as he turned to look at her.
"Dear friend, Who Eivor?"
Eivor knew she couldn't trick him anymore, yes Finnr had several friends on the field besides Oswald, but he was closest to Oswald. Even if he liked to hide it beneath a hard exterior, he cared about Oswald a lot - Oswald almost was like a son to him, a son that he never had .
"Oswald, Finnr. I tried my best to save him" Eivor stuttered as she felt tears threatning to surface over her, as she pushed the tsunami back down again "He charged at the Champion I chased after him, but when I got there it was too late..."
Finnr gasped as he looked back at Eivor who was trying not to crumple and break down in front of him.
"Oswald? No No not Oswald. The kid was too young" Finnr trailed off
Eivor looked back at Finnr solemenly "Yes. He's gone Finnr. I've told Valdis already. She was heartbroken too, we all are"
"He was too good for this world" Finnr cried as he broke down in front of Eivor "Too good and now he's dead. I didn't even get to say one last Goodbye to him"
Eivor came up to Finnr placing a hand on his shoulder while trying her best not to cry seeing Finnr upset. "It will be alright Finnr it will be"
Finnr turned around to face her hysterically "He was like a second son to me, Eivor and now he's gone. He's gone!"
"I know Finnr, I know" Eivor tried to soothe
"Do you Eivor? Do you now? Just go" He shouted as tears rolled down his cheeks
Eivor backed out of the Barracks as she looked once more at a crying Finnr who was sobbing in front of her, before she left back for the longhouse.
I will give him some time and check up on him later.
Hours later, it was dark. Most of the residents were preparing to go to sleep for the night, and it was quiet. Eivor decided it would be the perfect time to go back to the docks and check Finnr.
Hopefully it will be better now, he's had several hours to calm down, he moved on quickly last time - perhaps he will come around again. Valdis did too and she was in denial, hopefully Finnr will be the same.
Approaching Finnr's raider hut, Eivor knocked on the door, the door having been closed since.
"Finnr? It's me Eivor. I came to check up on you"
"What?" Finnr weakly and tiredly slurred from the other side.
Eivor opened the door, only to be shocked by the sight in front of her. Finnr was sitting down on the same log as before with a ale of mug and he was downing it very quickly. The whole room smelt very strongly of mead, indicating that he had been drinking heavily.
"Finnr are you alright, you haven't been drinking have you?" Eivor worriedly asked, even though she knew the answer to that question.
"I'm fine Eivor, now go away" he slurred waving a hand weakly trying to push her away
"Fine? Finnr your drinking that doesn't look like fine!" Eivor couldn't help but almost shout
Finnr got up stumbling up as he nearly lost his balance, slamming the mead cup down.
"Why do you think that is, Eivor?" he almost roared before he continued "Why are you even here anyway, it's your fault that he died, if it wasn't for you calling him to that stupid battle he would still be here, with us. And yet you have the audacity to stand in front of me now asking me what's wrong"
Eivor gasped at Finnr's tone and outburst, before guilt and hurt crept up in her system. "I know Finnr. I know. Don't you think that I don't live with his blood on my hands everyday, Don't you think I have nightmares on him every night while I dream of not being able to save him? Because I do, I see him, I hear him I see him everywhere even in my sleep it's not just you!"
"I don't care Eivor" Finnr scoffed "He was good to you, too good to you and it cost him"
"I know, Finnr I'm sorry"
"Yeah right, you weren't feeling sorry when you kill Rued were you?"
Rued. How dare he bring that up.
"I had to do that Finnr, it was to protect him and Valdis and the clan, you know I had to I didn't have a choice! Eivor shouted
"Oh yeah?" Finnr retorted "Is that so? We both know that that's not the real reason. You can tell yourself that, but it was for yourself wasn't it. You wasn't doing it for him or for Valdis, it was yourself. That's right you liked him and killed Rued so you could move on from him. That's the truth"
"I know Eivor, I know so don't bother lying to me" he seethed threatning at the end.
"I... I" Eivor was lost for words, having been caught and exposed by Finnr
"That's right. Eivor the selfish wolf kissed. Who only looks out for herself and her own needs and not other people" he started goading
Eivor gave him a glare. If looks could kill, Finnr would of been dead on the floor, but this didn't deter him.
"Just get out Eivor. Just get out of my damn sight"
"Fine. If that's your attitude to me I will do" Eivor snapped before she stormed out of the hut, leaving a drunk and grieving Finnr to mull.
Oswald's face dropped when he heard Eivor's words. Poor Finnr he didn't deserve that. I must of meant a lot to him. Sure he was grumpy and scolded me a lot of the time, but perhaps there is more to the surface. I'm glad he's alright now though.
"Oh. I'm glad he's alright now and that he's well now. I was wondering how he was doing and if he was still alive and raiding with you, or if he had left and joined another crew"
He almost did. After the argument they had in his hut that night after Oswald had died, Finnr had packed a bag saying he was going to Halfdan's instead and that he was going to tell the truth of what happened to Halfdan, if Halfdan hadn't already found out from Ubba then he was going to join Halfdan's council again.
Eivor tried to convince him, to come back to no avail. It wasn't until kind old Sunniva decided to step in along with Randvi, together they convinced Finnr to come back and give Eivor another chance. Eivor had almost lost him due to her actions. But Thanks to her friends intervention he had stayed.
Instead Eivor chose not to tell Oswald that part, not wanting to worry him so she instead she said.
"Yes and no Finnr is loyal to me like that, even when I make questionable decisions such as sailing all the way here and on that day we went to save you all those months ago he agreed, that's what I like about him"
"That's good I'm glad you have such a loyal crewmate such as Finnr, if only I could leave Valhalla and talk to him once more as old friends. If you see him, Can you tell him I said Hi and that I miss him and if he ever comes to Valhalla, that I would love to have a drink with him one time"
Eivor looked towards Oswald's wistful and sad face, before she clapped him on the back suprising him and making him jump.
"Of course Oswald! He'll be happy to hear from you once more. In fact he'll be thrilled. I'll be sure to pass that on"
Oswald grinned back to her. "Thank you Eivor. That really means a lot, you doing that"
Eivor dismissed it waving a hand in the air once more. "No problem, Finnr will be more than happy with the news"
He will be, I think he will be so happy that he'll be singing from the top of the lungs the whole journey home, and that is a long time. He'll have sore lungs from that for sure.
"What about Valdis? How did she react over my death, when she found out, was she happy, was she sad or did she just not care?"
I guess I'm asking because even though we had a bad marriage, I'm wondering if she really did care about me even with the way I treated her because during our relationship and up until our last conversation she did.
"She was upset. Heartbroken actually, she was in denial until I showed her your necklace, then she accepted it. I haven't seen her since the day I told her you died. I hope she's doing well. I like to think that she moved on with her life too. Whatever she's doing I really hope that she's at peace"
Oswald looked at Eivor who sat next to him, full of adoration and respect for Valdis. At least they got on well, until the very end. Then he touched his neck, only to realise in horror that his necklace indeed was gone.
How could I forget about such a thing? When I wore that thing since I was young? It was the last thing my Mother gave me several days before she died.
"Did you take my necklace?" He asked a bit too abruptly
Startled Eivor jumped, before she quickly reached into the pouched pocket of her raven clan armour. Oswald noticed that she was wearing the same armour that she was wearing throughout their time together, he was also wearing the green robes he wore to the battle and throughout his time in East Anglia, right before the wedding.
Pulling out the dried bloodied necklace, she took it as she passed it to him.
"Here you go"
Oswald took the familiar item, looking at it holding it up, scrutnizing as he felt Eivor's worried eyes on him. He looked at it briefly before he gave it back to her.
"Actually, you can keep it now. I don't need it. I'm not really a Christian anymore these days, not when I'm living in a place full of norsemen and women and most importantly a famous legendary place that are in Norse fables"
"Really? I can, are you sure Oswald? It's yours and I stole it from you"
"Really I insist" he said while pushing the necklace into her hands. "Keep it as something to remember me by. After all that's why you took it right?"
Eivor took the necklace once more clasping it on her palms. "Yeah I guess so. Thank you Oswald."
"No problem. After all you looked after it so well for so long"
"Yeah" Eivor shurgged
For a few moments there was a quiet silence as none of them said a word to each other, before Oswald broke the silence once more.
"How's life on your end, I mean are you dating anyone? Like have you found someone or are you too busy for that sort of stuff?" He couldn't help but flush at that last part.
Eivor chuckled as she saw him flush "Alright. Been doing the same old, securing more alliances, chasing Sigurd across half the country, cleaning up his mess. But no, it's not really that I'm too busy, as I had chances from various men, it's just I don't want to, after the last person I liked died"
Eivor tried not to wince at that last thought, that because of Oswald she couldn't bring herself to love another man due to the guilt that was seeping through her veins, she was afraid that if she ever did fall in love, they would all die and end up like him. So she didn't, she shut herself and closed her heart, placing an icy barrier to those who did try.
Poor Villi was left flustered and embarassed when she left him hanging at the campfire, after he had awkwardly asked her for a fuck and had kissed her. Eivor was fine with it, but he wasn't. He hadn't spoken to her since.
Oswald's face dropped as he felt guilt. Because of me, she's pushed herself away from other men. I was hoping she would move on and forget about me as hanging onto the past is unhealthy. The selfish side of me is happy, but the not so selfish side with a conscience is not.
He couldn't help but ask, curiosity burning through his veins. "Who was the person that you liked that died? If you don't mind telling me?"
Eivor froze at his question. Seeing her freeze, Oswald quickly tried to fix the situation.
"You don't have to tell me if you don't want to."
Eivor sighed, as she battled with herself mentally. I've come here all this way, I won't ever get a second chance once I leave this place and I regret not saying anything before he died, so I won't make that mistake again. If he doesn't feel the same, then I won't ever see him again since we're both in different worlds, What's the harm?
Feeling encouraged by her last thought, Eivor spoke.
"It was you. That's why I did all of this, breaking the order killing Rued. I thought if I could get you and Valdis together and make you two work, that I would move on from you. It wasn't for Valdis, it was for me. For my own selfish need. It's alright if you don't feel the same, I don't expect you to. Who would love someone that made them run to their death?"
Oswald gasped at her words as he stared at Eivor who was fidgeting with the gauntlets again once more instead of looking at him.
She feels guilty, she isn't even looking at me. Perhaps if I say that I feel the same, she will feel a bit better about herself?
Pushing back his nerves he spoke. "Believe it or not, as absurd as this sounds, I actually do feel the same about you as well. For a while actually. I would say ever since the dinner probably. And I still do now. I wish you told me earlier instead of hiding it, then I would of understood more. i wouldn't of been so mad and maybe this wouldn't of happened, and we would be together right now, alive"
Eivor looked up at Oswald who was madly flushing at her as his white cheeks flared up a bright shade of pink. She had never seen him in such a state in the short time they had known each other. This was new. He looks like he does mean it. He geuninely does, I can tell. And the dinner? That was really early on, he's been crushing on me since the very beginning.
"You do?" Eivor could hardly comprehend what she was hearing "But that day with Rued, you seemed so angry with me, and then at the battlefield..."
Before realisation hit Eivor as his words echoed on her mind. That's what he meant by Blood for Blood leaves no warmth in the hearts of men, it makes sense. It meant that he liked me up until that very moment, until I destroyed and ruined it all.
"I did" he confirmed breaking her thoughts once more. "That was because... Eivor I never told you this, but seeing you kill Rued triggered something in me. I actually lost my parents in a raid to the Danes. You know how East Anglia had an unstable past throughout the years, I was caught up in one of the raids and a raider like Rued killed them in front of me. It's not your fault, but at the time I couldn't think straight. All that pain all that trauma can back in an instant. I was just hurt and upset and didn't know how to handle myself, but it doesn't justify what I did to you"
Eivor gasped at his new revealation. So he thought I was the same as them? Like many other Saxons who called me Pagans also confused me for the same? He lost his parents in a raid just like I did with mine to Kjotve, he lashed out at me like I lashed out to Strybjorn for years because of it. We're both the same and more alike in a lot of ways. Just because he's saxon doesn't mean he doesn't suffer the same things we do.
"I also lost my parents in a raid too" Eivor trailed quietly as Oswald looked at her "I'm sorry you lost your parents too. I know how hard it feels. Don't worry I understand. I also lashed out at my adoptive father for years too, even if it wasn't his fault. It took me years to adjust"
Eivor thought back to her teenagerhood, when she started having hormonal rages and started losing it at Strybjorn in emotion, fuelled rages. She cringed back at the memory. It wasn't until she was almost an adult, that she had become more stable, Kjotve's death having a huge impact on the latter.
Oswald looked at her wide eyed as he heard Eivor's revealtion. "It's alright Eivor, but thank you. I'm also sorry for what happened to your parents as well. I'm glad even if it's a little late that we are finally telling these things to each other. I'm glad that you came here so we can have a chance to mend, another chance to try again. You know start again, and put the past behind us"
Eivor raised an eyebrow looking towards Oswald. He wants to give us a chance? He doesn't know. As much as I love to try again and put everything behind us in a fantasy world, it won't work out. We live in two seperate worlds, and after all you tried so hard to forget about him didn't you? Why is this any different? Don't be lured in by false promises.
"Me too. I'm glad I got to see you again once more Oswald, so we can fix things and leave the past behind us. You deserve to have some closure at the very least. But unfortunately as much as I would love to try things out with you again, I can't. I'm sorry. We belong in two different worlds. Your dead and I'm still alive. That simulator, it's only temporary. I haven't told Sigurd as he think it's permanent and I don't want to upset him, but I am telling you as I don't want to lead you on and give you a false hope"
"Oh" Oswald sunk in disappointment at her words. "I understand. But I'll wait. As long as is needed. So long as you die in battle, you will come here right? And I will be here waiting for you, as always. I'm stuck here anyway so might as well"
Eivor chuckled a bit of an amused and sad one at the same time. He still isn't giving up. His stubborness and determination is kind of cute, I'll give him that.
"I wouldn't count on it Oswald. I might not be coming to Valhalla. What if I don't want to die in battle, What if I want to travel the world, then die while watching the sunset at an old age? You'll be waiting forever then"
"True. That's also true, I can't argue with that. If that's what you want Eivor, I respect that. It's your choice after all. After all glory isn't worth it is it? I mean, look at me I'm now stuck in the same place living the same loop every day, it gets boring sometimes. Sometimes I wish I didn't charge at the champion, then I would be with Valdis at home right now" he couldn't help but feel bitter at the last part.
Eivor sighed. Well at least he doesn't seem mad at me this time, he's taking this fairly well which is good, considering that I just full on rejected him like that, I mean that's got to hurt right?
"It's useless to dwell on things of the past Oswald, you'll just end up making yourself more miserable"
Oswald was about to open his mouth to retort, when suddenly an excitied Sigurd barged in. Slamming open the door, he ran towards Eivor not caring that Oswald was also in the room as well.
"Eivor! Eivor My arm it grew back look!"
"Yes I see Sigurd" Eivor couldn't help but roll her eyes at the interuption.
Just when me and Oswald were having a meaningful conversation, he has to barge in. But then that's siblings for you.
"Come on Eivor, The battle's about to start. Don't you want to kill some guards for fun"
He tried to drag Eivor by the arm as she followed him begrudingly before she stopped him
"Just a minute Sigurd, I need to finish things up with Oswald"
"Ugh. Hurry up with your boyfriend will you!" he moaned before he closed the door leaving them once more
"Sorry about that" Eivor awkwardly said turning around
"Eivor. I'll be fine, really honestly. Just go with Sigurd"
"Are you sure? I can stay a bit longer if you want to"
"Really" Oswald forced a weak smile. "I'm fine, I don't want to hold you up. Just go with your brother"
"Alright, Take Care Oswald. It was nice talking to you again"
"You too, Goodbye Eivor"
Just as she was about to leave, he stopped her suddenly remembering. "Wait. There's this woman who claims she knows you. Her name is Svala, she's here in Valhalla. She wants to speak to you, when you have the time that is"
Eivor turned around facing Oswald once more. "Thank you Oswald.I'll do so when I have the time later"
Oswald watched as Eivor closed the door leaving him all alone once more, as he felt a mixture of sadness and regret wallowing up once more.
A mixture of sadness and hurt, as he realised that She was the one that got away, and that he would never be getting her back.
Author's Note: So they finally admit and find out their feelings for each other in this one as opposed to "Siege of Portcestre" but still Eivor rejects him in the end. I wrote that to match the canon ending that is in game, when she goes to Vinland. As you can see it was hinted in the dialogue when she told him that she wanted to die while watching the sunset and abroad as well. Ending also matches the story title, the whole time I was giving clues as to what was going to happen lol.
I also thought it would be nice to add Finnr's reaction in this. They have a interesting relationship in game, both Finnr and Oswald, so thought I would expand on his reaction to his death after missing out during the Siege of Portcestre. I focused on Valdis' so why not Finnr?
I have a sequel for this story planned after this, where Finnr and Oswald finally meet up for drinks in Valhalla like Oswald wants to. It will be called "Bros before Hoes" so if you see that then that's the direct sequel to this fic of them both. Anyway hope you enjoyed, my traffic page and views still seems to be glitching out so if you read this can you please leave a comment or favourite it at least so I know that you did. Thanks and See you next time in Bros before Hoes!