[ Yesterday ]
"~Fureru yubi, setsunai ne, Kimi to bok-"
Her head gently bobbing from side to side, Saiki Kurumi hummed along to the song on the telly as she worked her way through a basket of freshly laundered clothes, the scent of the lavender fabric softener mingling with the aroma of the simmering stew from the kitchen. On the low, wooden coffee table in front of her lay an array of folded garments, neatly separated into little piles by type and owner.
Mid-fold, she paused, hearing what sounded like a muted plop from upstairs.
Walking over to the base of the stairs, "Kuu-chan," she called. "Where were you? You got a call from Kokomi-chan earlier." When she didn't get a reply, "It sounded like she had something important to tell you," she continued, "Would you like me to call her back?"
When she didn't hear anything back for a few more seconds, Kurumi had the thought to go upstairs and make sure it had actually been Kusuo who'd made that sound-
'...I don't think that'll be necessary any more.'
Kurumi cocked her head at the strange tone in his voice.
"Did she perhaps get to tell it you in person, Kuu-chan?"
'...I guess,' he said after a small pause. Kurumi frowned.
After a moment of deliberation, although still a bit unsatisfied with his answer, she decided to take his word for it, stepping back into the living room.
Upstairs-
Sprawled languidly across his bed, Kusuo delicately removed his glasses, placing them on the bedside stand.
*Sigh...*
The sky flickered through the concrete overhead like dull static. His eyes were glazed.
She...
She'd made such a heart-broken expression.
He ran a hand through his hair, careful not to disturb his limiters. Splayed fingers found their way over his eyes, and he idly watched the blood vessels in them flicker through muscle and bone, as the skin periodically peeked through the chaos for some fraction of a second.
Even with the inconvenience of all of its insides flickering in and out of view through his X-ray vision, he'd learned to read faces in this visual language out of necessity. And even through his incapacitated vision, even through all this visual noise, he'd pieced it without a problem - the look on her face.
The shock. The heart-break. The tears.
The exact order, he couldn't quite recall, even though it was barely a few minutes ago.
Her figure running away, tears streaming down her face...
He'd finally gone and done it. He'd gone and broken her heart.
...He knew it was coming, even if he didn't know when exactly. Their little game of cat and mouse couldn't go on forever. At some point, someone would end up dropping the ball.
And he knew for a fact that things could really only go one way. It was nothing against the girl, but Kusuo was simply not in a position to be able to have a romantic relationship with anyone, especially a girl that attracted attention in the way that she did...
But.
Teruhashi-san.. making such a despairing face, he'd never wanted to see.
Kusuo grimaced softly.
...Good grief..
[ Back to the Present ]
"S-Saiki-kun?"
The boy in question was dressed plainly, wearing khaki pants and a gray pullover. One hand held a convenience store bag, his other lightly holding onto the door knob.
His face was unreadable as ever.
'Can I come in?'
Kokomi just nodded mutely, her brain still trying to process what she was seeing. The boy gently shut the door behind him.
Kusuo rifled through the bag in his hand as he drew to her, offering her a small plastic container. Strawberry Cream Pudding, it read. Kokomi looked from the proffered container to the boy's face, then back to the container, before meekly reaching for it.
"T-Thanks."
Kusuo said nothing, returning a small nod as he walked over to a nearby chair, and setting it to face the girl, took a seat. Rifling through the bag, he pulled out another container. Kokomi didn't need to look to tell what it'd be, though she did.
Coffee-Jelly.
Setting aside the bag at the foot of the chair, he gently peeled off the lid, detaching the small plastic spoon attached to the side of the package. And without much ado, he helped himself to it.
Despite the strangeness of the setting she'd found herself in, and the impression that the boy was putting deliberate effort to rein in his expression as he partook in his favorite treat, it was a comfortingly familiar sight for Kokomi - Saiki enjoying his Coffee-Jelly.
The Strawberry pudding in her own hand was cool to touch, as if fresh out of the refrigerator. Not knowing what else to do, she decided she might as well take a bite. Gently peeling off its clear plastic lid, she removed the plastic spoon tucked underneath with a faint snap, unfolding it, before taking a small scoop.
It was silky and smooth, imbued with a sweet tartness. She hadn't had much for lunch, and it made it all the more delicious for it. As she delicately spooned another dollop, her gaze drifted to Kusuo.
The boy had just taken another spoonful, his eyes momentarily closed as he savored the taste. She could see the corners of his lips quiver, tempted to curl into a smile. Even as the boy reined it in, she could feel the bliss radiating off of him.
The boy was usually so composed and reserved. Something about that little sliver of a crack through his impenetrable facade as he savored the treat, it just tickled her insides.
Intrigued, but not wanting to be caught staring, she turned her attention back to her own pudding - a gentle swirl of strawberry and cream.
The silence as the two ate was soft and companionable, punctuated only by the occasional rustle of the plastic, and the murmur of the radiator.
As Kokomi finished her pudding, she set it aside on the bedside table, gingerly looking up.
"This... Is this really a dream?"
Saiki had finished his Coffee-Jelly as well, and set it aside. Leaning back into the chair, he met her gaze, face unreadable.
'...Yeah.'
"The thing with Fujita-san...?"
'That too.'
Kokomi was quiet for a moment as she stewed on it.
"H-How... How far back?"
Kusuo couldn't help purse his lips at the small hint of desperation in her voice. At the flicker of hope that his words had lit in her heart.
I'm sorry. But I'm going to have to crush that hope of yours.
He averted his gaze.
'Yesterday.. That... that wasn't a dream.'
"I.. I see."
The conversation came to a soft lull, and Kusuo found himself almost holding his breath, anticipating her response.
To his surprise, the girl let out a small chuckle. "This... It's so weird," she said. Yet, as he glanced back at her, he could see moisture beginning to pool at the corners of her eyes.
"Even though it feels so real..." Rising to her feet, she took slow cautious steps toward him, until she was just within arm's reach. Hesitating for a heartbeat, she tentatively raised her hand toward his face, searching his eyes for any sign of objection.
When he made no move to stop her, she gingerly brought her finger to his face. Jerking back the moment she made contact. She looked surprised, like she wasn't prepared for it to feel so real.
Kusuo silently watched her as she retreated a step. Slowly, she sank to the floor, her arms wrapping themselves around her knees, pulling them close to her chest. She gazed up, a bittersweet smile on her lips.
"If this is a dream, maybe I don't want to ever wake up..." she muttered, before shaking her head.
What a weird thought.
"Ne, Saiki-kun," she said, tilting her head slightly. Her voice was soft, yet surer than before. Her eyes were misty, but rekindling with life.
"I know I forgot to give it to you... but what would you have thought if you got a chance to read that letter I'd meant for you?"
If he was the Saiki-kun conjured by her mind, he'd obviously have knowledge of the contents of her letter, even if the real one hadn't read it.
Though, he had in fact read it.
Saiki thought it over a moment.
'...It wasn't half-bad, was it? The series?'
"Nah, it was pretty fun." She beamed, eyes shimmering in the chandelier's soft light. "What was your favorite part, Saiki-kun?"
Internally, the boy arched an eyebrow. Were they really going to have this conversation, here and now?
Kusuo had reconstructed this charade of a dream with a single straightforward purpose. Convincing her that the incident with Fujita and the car accident had merely been one as well. And that she need not continue worrying about the man suddenly showing up at her doorstep.
He didn't anticipate her completely brushing it off in favor of... wherever this conversation was headed.
This girl...
A little exasperated, he nevertheless thought her question over.
'The twist. That Kozue's powers were actually someone else's doing. It was a pretty nice surprise. Didn't see it coming.'
Kokomi responded with a pleased Hmm~.
"Even though Saiki-kun isn't usually fond of surprises?"
He didn't know what to say to that.
"Ne, Saiki-kun," she continued, feet animatedly tapping on the floor, her eyes alight with a sort of childish glee. "What's your favorite color?"
'I don't really have one.'
"Really..?" She sounded like she didn't believe him.
He sighed. 'I don't know what to tell you.'
Kokomi responded by giggling like a little girl. It caught him a little off-guard.
"Do you have a favorite animal, Saiki-kun?"
'I don't like animals.'
She made a pout.
"Why not?"
'Cause they're a pain, and you can't anticipate their actions.'
"Saiki-kun's a control freak, huh?" She said, a teasing lilt in her voice.
The boy let out a soft exhale. Though a smile almost played on his lips. This... This really was such a weird conversation they were having.
He'd been fairly tense earlier. And now... this.
'I don't like unpredictable things.'
She nodded. "Yeah, I figured." But then she broke into a brilliant smile. "Which is why I think its really sweet how you're so patient and accommodating with your friends, Saiki-kun."
He made a frown.
'I'm not trying to accommodate them. I don't have a choice.'
Kokomi just made a knowing smile.
"Whatever you say, Saiki-kun."
This girl...
She had her head bobbing from side to side, like a kid that had just discovered candy. It was such a far cry from the heart broken look she'd given him when he'd rejected her...
But this.. it couldn't last..
"You're thinking about something, Saiki-kun?"
He said nothing.
"Why did I even ask? Of course, you're always thinking about something, Saiki-kun," she teased. "Wanna let me in on the secret? What's got your mind always so occupied?"
'...'
"Something you can't share?"
'...'
She made a frown, but shrugged.
"Even though I have such an opportunity, I guess I'm souring the mood asking questions like that." She flashed him an apologetic smile.
"But it's no good you know, Saiki-kun? Taking on the burden of thinking about difficult things, all on your own."
When he still said nothing, she slowly got up, before plopping herself back onto the bed.
"This is such a nice bed, Saiki-kun," she said, her arms spreading out into a snow-angel on the mattress. "And the ceiling's decorated all pretty. It's so warm and comfy. And the scenary outside is gorgeous too. What do you think Saiki-kun?" She sat herself up. "Isn't it all so pretty?" She flashed him a cheeky expression. "Although not as pretty as me, of course."
'I wouldn't know...'
He'd only meant to mutter it in his head, but it seemed to have slipped out.
"Why not?"
Again, he fell silent.
"Do you think brooding so hard makes you look mysterious and cool, Saiki-kun?"
His eye twitched, and she laughed. "I'm kidding. I'm kidding." She held out a palm placatingly.
"But," she said, "I have to say. Saiki-kun really does have that cool aesthetic to him. No one can tell what you're thinking or feeling. You always act in ways I can't figure out. You really are mysterious, Saiki-kun. Why are you so mysterious?"
Again, no answer.
She pouted.
"Mou, at least answer me in my own dream, Saiki-kun."
When she still got no answer, she plopped back onto her back, letting out a small yawn.
"Somehow I feel like I'm the one doing all the talking. Don't you have any questions for me, Saiki-kun?"
'Not really.'
Kokomi pouted. "Does Saiki-kun think he already has all the answers in the world or something?"
Did he? In the very least, he was as omniscient as they came.
Although...
He couldn't believe he was actually considering her proposition but... A question he had for Teruhashi-san?
There was one, wasn't there? A question he always had playing in the back of his head, whenever he'd found himself interacting with Kokomi. One that not even his powers of telepathy could answer for him.
'You know...' She sat up. 'I've never really understood your fascination with me, Teruhashi-san.'
"Does Saiki-kun not think of himself as an fascinating person?"
'If anything,' he found himself leaning back into his chair, 'I'd rather prefer if I were an uninteresting person.'
"...That's a little sad to hear." This time, he was the one to look up. She was beaming at him. "I really like the interesting Saiki-kun."
Not quite sure what to make of that statement, his gaze drew to the floor.
"But, if you're going to ask why I was so fascinated with you..." She seemed to think it over for a moment, when a teasing expression came on her face.
"Because you reminded me of my cat."
That got Saiki to look up.
To find the girl pawing at him with a flirtatious smirk. "Nyawwu," she said, before she burst out laughing at the boy's dumbfounded expression.
She was half-embarrassed, half having the time of her life. She found herself grabbing her sides from her laughter.
Saiki on the other hand had the most baffled look on his face.
That pudding. It didn't have any alcohol in it, did it?
When her laughter finally subsided, it was replaced by a soft, wistful expression.
"What's not to find fascinating about you, Saiki-kun? I know you try to act all stoic and everything, but I know what a sweet guy you are underneath. Kaidou-kun used to be such a shy, awkward guy, and now he's able to open up to everyone in a way even I hadn't been able to coax out of him before. Nendou-kun used to be ostracized by the rest of the class, but even he has a solid friend group now thanks to you. You guys gave Kuboyashu-kun a chance, despite his delinquent past. And for all their combined chaotic energy, for all their proclivity to get themselves into weird trouble, somehow things always seem to work themselves out when you're around, Saiki-kun." She had the hugest, most teasing smile. "Isn't it because you're always watching over them like their aniki?"
Kokomi caught the boy's eyebrow twitch, her smile becoming an order of magnitude brighter.
"Even though you act like you couldn't care less, you still bother to show up to events. Even though you could really just have no-showed. You humor them and their weird games, even though you probably could get away with ignoring them. The fact that you do all that, and yet don't want anyone to notice that you care, I think it's really cool, Saiki-kun."
'...I'm not nearly as much of a nice person as you're making me out to be.'
"Yeah, yeah." She said, eyes twinkling as she smirked. "Keep telling yourself that, Mr. Tsun~de~re~"
There really wasn't any alcohol in that pudding, was there? Teruhashi-san without her usual limiters was... something.
"You know," she began, her smile gradually waning. "I really do like you, Saiki-kun." Her lip quivered. "Like, really like you."
He knew. He knew all too well.
"But you don't like me back..." Her eyes brimmed with tears, but she kept up her smile anyhow.
"Can you at least tell me why?"
'...'
The silence this time was anything but pleasant for the both of them. As Kokomi's smile faltered, and it looked like she might just start crying for real-
'It's no fault or shortcoming of your own.'
It really wasn't. She looked up in surprise.
'We can't be together. It's as simple as that.'
"Why not, Saiki-kun? Why not?" Her voice trembled with an emphatic urge to know. She sniffed softly, hastily wiping her face with the sleeve of her shirt.
'...'
He had no words to give. No answers. No consolation. How could he even explain it to her?
Her sleeves grew darker by the second from the effort of wiping away her tears.
She looked so defeated. So fragile. So unlike the girl he knew.
The room fell into a hush, filled only by the soft sound of a periodical sniff.
Eventually, she collapsed sideways onto the bed, curling into a fetal position. For a brief moment, Saiki wondered if she'd fall asleep.
"...Saiki-kun," she finally said, breaking the silence, her voice so incredibly soft. "I realize this is a dream. But just once... could I hear you say it?"
Her thoughts grew silent in anticipation.
And Saiki, all knowing that he was, thought he knew what she was talking about.
It'd been the thing she'd been hounding him over all these year, after all.
Maybe, if he hadn't been so stubborn. If he'd just given her that Offu! she'd always wanted. Maybe it wouldn't have had to come to all this.
She'd have been satisfied. And stopped bothering with him.
And their paths would have never gotten so unnecessarily entangled.
He glanced at her to find her looking at him with a delicate, expectant expression from her curled up position.
If she could let go of her infatuation with him afterwards, if she could finally give up on him, maybe, just maybe... Saiki Kusuo could relent on his pride just this once. It would be a small price to pay for both of their sakes.
But then he heard her wish crystallize in her mind, and the words roll from her mouth as she pushed herself up from her fetal position to sit upright, eyes locked onto his.
"Just once..." Her voice broke as tears rolled down her cheeks. "Even if you're just a figment of my imagination... Even if you're just a dream... I want to hear it just once."
'I like you.'
Unspoken. Yet, clearly heard. It hung in the space between them, the air electric.
Her cheeks burned from embarrassment, but she faced him earnestly.
And Kusuo found his head blanking.
Five seconds became ten. Ten became fifteen. And fifteen became twenty.
'Even in a dream... you won't let me hear it?'
Her thoughts broke through the silence.
He heard another soft sniff, as the girl drew her legs to her chest, arms wrapped tightly around them, as she let her head fall to her knees.
Another sniff followed, and then a few more. Soft and faint. Her body trembled slightly.
And Saiki had to wonder. How, despite the absolute chaos of his X-Ray vision continuously unfolding upon her figure, despite the constant flicker of bone, muscle, and blood - how she managed to convey such a forlorn sight.
...Saiki could read minds, both a gift and a curse, but it wasn't as though that translated to being able to read hearts.
He could tell you the exact thoughts running through someone's mind, yet still be completely ignorant of the emotions underneath it all.
If he told her the thing she wanted to hear, would she be satisfied?
If he simply let her drift to sleep, would Saiki be satisfied?
It would be as easy as not doing anything. The day had left her exhausted, not to mention that she'd barely slept the night before. In her present state, she'd probably fall asleep in a few moments even without [ Brain Lullaby ].
An easy enough inaction. To simply let the moment pass.
But...
Even as he considered it. He found himself hesitating.
Even if it had been an accident of sorts, the girl had come out and confessed. And even if he preferred that she hadn't, he could acknowledge the courage it had taken her.
For a girl as prideful as Kokomi, to put it all aside, and confess, even if he could consider it an inconvenience, he could admire her for it. The same way he could admire guys like Hairo and their bottomless passion for sports, even if he couldn't understand it himself.
...If Saiki could have been a little more courageous, would he have been able to come clean about his powers to his friends? The thought nagged like a splinter inside his head.
He'd made up his mind once, to do just that. Back when his powers had been erased. Or at least he'd thought that they'd been.
And he'd gone and told everyone to convene after school.
Only for his powers to start acting up out of nowhere. First the window breaking out of nowhere. Then, his powers of telepathy and invisibility resurfacing in class the next day. Finally culminating into the situation with the meteor.
His intent to confess had gotten completely buried in the ensuing chaos. And afterwards, he'd simply rationalized it away.
Telling himself that he'd simply be burdening his friends with such a heavy secret.
But, in reality, maybe-
Maybe that had simply been an excuse.
If he'd really lost his powers, would he still have been able to come clean? Or would he have simply rationalized yet another excuse?
His mind went to the trio of Akechi, Toritsuka and Aiura - the only three from school privy to his secret for one reason or another. Toritsuka had learned of it via his own powers of communicating with ghosts. Aiura when Saiki had had to step in to save a falling Chiyo. And Akechi via his dogged persistence and ruthlessly sharp intuition. In all three cases, it couldn't quite be said that he'd really had much choice in the matter.
...His gaze flickered to the girl across from him. Her sniffs had subsided, her head still buried in her knees. Her thoughts floated aimlessly, all her energy sapped...
Only moments ago, he'd contemplated simply giving her an Offu! if it meant putting all this behind him. But, in a way, maybe that was even more unfair to her.
An insult to how hard she'd tried. If all he could afford her was a lie in the face of all her earnest efforts.
He let out a small sigh.
...He really wasn't half the nice person she thought he was, was he?
In hindsight, maybe it would have just been less crueler to lie.
The silence stretched out as he quietly came to terms with what he intended to do.
"Teruhashi-san." The words rolled off his tongue, and Kusuo felt a strange lack of familiarity with the name. He struggled to remember the last time he'd used it to her face, and actively verbalizing it felt even stranger.
It seemed to get the girl's attention though at least, as she tentatively looked up at him.
"...I lied."
A part of him still couldn't believe he was going through with this. Slowly, he drew his eyes from the floor, to meet hers.
"This... It's not a dream."