Piles of gifts were stacked under the central christmas tree in the living room. The Cullens were a gift-giving bunch. Over the last few days one after the other had placed their wrapped gifts in the gaps the others had left. Alice's were of course the first. Wrapped in bright red and tied with golden ribbons, that matched the general decor of the house, she had been a week early. And thus fortunately reminded me that I still had to arrange all my gifts. I was half convinced that she had only been so early to remind me, but I could never prove that theory.

Edward had warned me that Christmas with the Cullens is always a sight to behold but when Esme's presents flooded the floor one morning I was still astonished.

The quest for presents was a difficult one. I always had a hard time giving and receiving gifts. And the sheer amount of presents and enthusiasm of the others intimidated me.

But after much thinking I was satisfied by my gift choices. And I hoped the receiving family member would be pleased.

"I just realized something, love." Edward said as we descended the stairs to join the others. It was Christmas Morning and we were on our way to join the others.

"What did you realize?" I raised my eyebrow.

"This will only be our second shared Christmas." He stopped on the steps and turned to look at me. "We missed so many celebrations."

"We will just have to celebrate Christmas for so many years that these past years will fade from the statistics."

He nodded. "Every year, love. Until a new religion devours Christianity or the sun collapses over our heads."

"You know, I never truly celebrated. It was always a somber time. I could not dedicate myself to the day without you. I suppose I never felt like the day was worthy without you sharing it. It was just…" I searched for the right word. "Empty, I suppose. My soul was numb to what happened around me. It was a sad day of remembrance and bitterness. Everywhere I turned it was propagated as a family celebration. But there was no family around me. Only the warm words of strangers. But the conversations were too stilted. The church was too empty."

Edwards' golden eyes were filled with understanding and empathy. He knew the same pain and emptiness. Even though he had his family around him for many of those Christmases.

"Because nothing makes life feel more desolate than desperately wishing for someone to be there with you."

Edward wordlessly pulled me into a tight embrace. Winding his arms around my body and holding me close. Slightly swaying me. The gravity of the past weighed heavily on me, but in Edward's arms, I found solace and warmth.

Emmett's boisterous voice interrupted our tender moment. "Hey, lovebirds! Are you two coming down, or are you going to miss another Christmas morning altogether?" he called from the living room.

I could hear Rosalie's slap against the back of his head but I still detached myself from the warm embrace. Placing a soft kiss on Edwards lips I took his hand in mine.

The family's excitement was almost palatable as we entered the living room. Alice was bouncing in her seat and Emmetts eyes sparkled. Jasper, Esme and Carmen all wore warm smiles.

"Finally!" Emmett exclaimed. "Alright, everyone, it's time to open presents!" He grabbed a gift and shook it vigorously.

"Emmett!" Alice scolded. "You know the rules. One person after the other. Who will be the first this time?"

Edward rolled his eyes. "You already know, Alice."

"True." Alice gave him a sweet smile and grabbed a silver wrapped present for the stack. "Bella will be first." she declared.

I hesitated, feeling a sudden rush of nervousness. This was my first Christmas with the others and I was already overwhelmed. I asked them to choose someone else to start but they would not change their minds.

"Isabella, you are the newest member of our family and thus have the privilege to open Christmas morning." Dr. Cullen said.

Esme's warm smile and nod made me grab the first package. I took a deep breath and slowly ripped open the packaging, revealing a velvet-covered jewelry box.

"This is to officially welcome you to our family." Esme explained softly as I lifted the lid. Wedged into dark blue lining was a ring. Not beautiful and sparkling like Elizabeth Masens engagement ring I wore on my ring finger but a signet ring. It was made of gleaming silver with the Cullen family crest etched into the surface. A raging lion.

"This signet ring has been a symbol of our family for generations. It represents our unity, our strength, and our unwavering commitment to each other. Bella, wearing this ring means you're a part of our family, and we cherish you." Dr. Cullen explained.

I brushed my finger over the metal.

I was touched by the gesture, a tangible symbol of acceptance into the Cullen family. At the same time, though, it brought to the surface my reservations about Dr. Cullen. I had been perfectly polite. But I still did not feel like I could trust him. And therein lay the issue. Could I be part of a family whose leader and namesake I distrusted?

I looked at the ring, my mind racing.

I had married into the Masen family. Not the Cullens. Even though Edward had accepted this new identity for the supernatural world I was hesitant.

Edward placed his hand on my knee, his thumb softly stroking my leg.

Nodding, I smiled. "Thank you." I said softly and closed the jewelry box. "I will always treasure this gift."

"Alright!" Alice clapped her hands. "Edwards gifts next." She collected two small packages and gave them to me. They were wrapped in a beautiful blue wrapping paper.

"Could we postpone this?" I asked shyly. "I want to exchange our gifts in private. Just between the two of us."

Edward's eyes softened with understanding. "Of course, love."

"Oh, I see how it is, you two." Emmett grinned. "Private gift exchanges, huh? Wink-wink, nudge-nudge!"

I lowered my eyes and bit my lips.

"Emmett, not everything is as it seems to you." Edward scolded.

Emmett's laughter was loud in my ears. He held his hands up in mock surrender. "Alright, alright, I'll stop teasing. But you have to admit, that sounded pretty suspicious."

Edward and I shared a smile.

"Why don't you give one now and save the other for later?" Alice suggested.

I turned and nodded. "That would be alright with me."

Edward accepted as well.

"So," I turned back to him. "Which one should I open now?"

He considered for a moment and took the big flat package that felt like a book from me. "This one." He pointed to the small square package.

I eagerly opened it.

Inside, I found a delicate silver locket with two photos on each side.

"This one is from our wedding day." He pointed it out to me. "And there are your parents."

"Edward, it's beautiful," I whispered, touched by his thoughtfulness.

"I thought it would be a way for you to carry a piece of me and your parents with you, no matter where you go." He smiled at me and turned it over for me. "The backside is inscribed."

"Ubi tu Gaia ego Gaius." I read out loud.

"It is the reversal of the traditional Roman wedding vow of the bride." He explained. "The meaning of the original oath 'Ubi tu Gaius ego Gaia' is a matter of debate. It means either 'Where you are Gaius, I am Gaia' or 'Where you find happiness, I too will find happiness'. But regardless of its literal translation, it means that I am completely yours. My body, mind and, if I still have one, my soul, are yours alone." He told me solemnly. "I belong to you."

I closed the locket and held it close to my heart. "I don't know how to thank you enough, Edward." My voice was choked up with emotions. I pressed a kiss to his cheek, my lips lingering. "Thank you."

I quickly threaded the necklace around my neck before Alice handed me the next gifts. It was a seemingly never ending flood. Once my gifts were done Rosalie opened hers. Then Jasper. And then Esme, Carmen, Eleazar, Emmett, Alice and Dr. Cullen.

Edward was last. And I fidgeted nervously as Alice handed me the tangible gift I had for him. His eyes sparkled when he pulled away the wrapping paper and held the sheet music notebook in his hands.

"I noticed that you were just scribbling your compositions on any random piece of paper you find. I thought you might want to have a place to collect them instead."

His fingers brushed over the embossing of the coat of arms and his name on the cover. Caressing the gold."Masen." He whispered.

I nodded softly. "It is yours. The pages inside are blank. Only waiting to be filled with your notes and melodies."

"Bella, this is incredible," he whispered and reached out to take my hand. "This will be the perfect place to collect all the music for our child. Think of all the lullabies. I can't think of a more beautiful gift, love."

The air was crisp, the ground frozen solid when we finally left for the annual hunt in the woods surrounding the house. Esme and Carlisle locked hands as we departed. Carmen and Eleazar ran ahead of us. Jasper, Emmett and Edward were shoving each other and I was accompanied by Rosalie. My stomach was starting to slow me. Every now and then Edward and I shared some glances and smiles before he was pulled back into the brotherly scuffle.

When we came to a frozen over river all the pairs separated. Edward and I had agreed earlier that we would exchange our private gifts before hunting. In a secluded clearing we found a moment to ourselves.

"Would you like to show me yours first?" Edward asked as I placed myself in his lap.

I shook my head. "I am curious what your gift could be."

He ran his hand through his hair and handed me the package. "Then open it and find out." He smiled.

Inside was a stack of simple notebooks. The book at the top, in a beautiful shade of blue, was badly worn, the pages yellowed and the corners creased. I carefully opened the cover, revealing Edwards intricate handwriting.

"It's a collection of all the poems and musical compositions that I have written during the time we were apart, love. I wanted to give you a way to experience my past hundred years."

My heart swelled with emotion. These writings were a glimpse into Edward's world, his thoughts, and his experiences during the long years when we had been apart. The pages held his emotions, his melodies, and the echoes of his life. I wanted to cry. I wanted to laugh. In the end something in between a giggle and sob escaped me.

"Edward, this is the most precious gift," I whispered in between sobs, deeply moved. "It means the world to me."

I wrapped my arms around his body, careful to keep the notebooks safe. "I'm glad you like it, love."

"We do think alike." I said once I had calmed.

Edward raised one eyebrow.

"I had the same thought when it came to your second gift." I extracted myself from his arms to turn back the first page. A poem was revealed to me.

"My Closest Friend

by Edward Anthony Masen Cullen, 1922

Hope had once been my closest friend,

It sat with me until the end.

Watched me lay by the fire,

Tending the flames of my desire.

It followed me, a deceitful companion,

Turning me,

Dividing like a canyon.

Kept watch as I slept,

And rejoiced as I wept.

It took my dreams, all my desires,

Showed me what was,

And lit it up in fires.

I chased for it, I stalked its trail,

And once again it watched me fail.

Up from the ground I looked for it,

Weeping venom,

Delivering the next hit.

My pain distressed even Regret,

And my last attempt became my greatest threat.

Hope had once been my closest friend,

It saw me bleed, it saw me bend.

And when I called for it to help,

It looked at me, smiled, and left."

Venomous tears welled in my eyes as I finished reading the poem, and I looked up at him. My heart ached with sadness and regret. The verses painted a vivid picture of his struggles and the torment he had endured during the years we were apart. Regret gnawed at my soul, regret for the lost time, for the stolen opportunities.

I couldn't help but feel a renewed aversion to Dr. Cullen for separating us and causing Edward so much pain. The anger I had tried to bury deep within me resurfaced.

My heart bled for his hopelessness. Threatening to consume my thoughts.

I clutched the notebook to my chest, the weight of the missed moments between Edward and me pressing down on me like a heavy stone.

Edward's arms wrapped around me, offering comfort. But still, I wanted to scream. I wanted to cry. For Edward. For myself. For the child within me. "Bella, you will always be my greatest treasure, and I love you in this existence and all the ones that come after. You are my everything. If I were blind, deaf and unable to smell I would still know you by touch alone, by the way your hand fits in mine and your head lies in the crook of my neck. And if I was deprived of all my senses my soul would still recognise yours as its mate. Even fate will never be able to truly separate us."

How could Dr. Cullen have thought that separating us was the right thing to do?

At that moment, I knew I couldn't find the strength to forgive him, and I doubted if I ever could. Both Edward and I had been irrevocably altered by those lost years, and the scars left behind were too deep to heal completely. They would forever be with us. They had been etched into our beings by the venom that changed us. I started to understand that now.

I clung to Edward. My arms around his back, my head in the crook of his neck.

"Why don't you show me your gift for me?" Edward tried to brighten up my mood.

I nodded against his shoulder and straightened back up. "You can not interrupt me." I warned him. "Promise me."

"I promise." He said even though his eyes were filled with confusion.

I closed my eyes in concentracion and took a deep breath. Jasper and I had spent hours upon hours practicing but I was still not secure in my ability.

My shield flights against my intent. It wanted to protect me and my mind. Even from Edward.

I focused my mind on this one task. Concentrating.

Pulling up the memories I had curated for him.

The human memories of his eyes across the ballroom at Theodore Montgomery's soiree. The first time my skin touched his and the sparks it sent down my arm. The feeling of safety as he led me through our first dance. And the contentment I felt when we danced the entire night.

I showed him the overwhelming happiness at his proposal and the joy I felt as I imagined spending my entire life with him. And our wedding day as I saw him wait for me down the aisle. The first time he touched me.

Then came the pain. Losing him. And the future I had dreamed of. The emptiness of my chest. The coldness in my bones. The veil over my eyes. Only lifted for a bittersweet moment when I realized I was pregnant with his child. The time I tried to fight to stay in this world without him. The calm I felt when the water of Lake Michigan swallowed me, as it cradled me in its arms.

Then came years upon years of loneliness. Christmas after Christmas with only strangers around in the snowy streets of Paris or candlelit churches in England.

And finally, the first time I saw his golden eyes in the Cafeteria of Forks High. His skin against mine. His smile. His hair. His voice. His hands on my belly. His lips against mine.

"Bella!" Edward whispered reverently.

And then it was no longer only a memory but real. His lips were needy. Fierce and hungry.

I lost my battle against my shield.

But it was long forgotten. There was no space in my mind left for anything but Edward. I barely managed to put aside the notebooks.