19 years ago...
Six months had gone by. Amanda was free. She had her own flat, in a new city. She was working in a new job that paid well, alongside re-taking her A-Levels. She had also learnt to drive and had passed her test. She was recovering from her injuries her Father had caused, everything was ok. She should have been happy. But she wasn't.
The day she lost her daughter haunted her mind wherever she went. Everything felt pointless now. Her life was empty, her heart shattered into a million pieces. Unfixable.
She'd never forget the day she'd woken up in the hospital, a week after her daughter had been born. For a few moments, she was confused. Until she felt the hollow emptiness in her womb, and the doctor reminding her of what had happened, him telling her that her baby girl was gone. The guttural cry that had escaped her lips would ring in her ears for the rest of her life. She'd wanted to curl up into a ball and die in that moment.
Pain.
That was all she felt now. Heart wrenching, knee buckling, pain. She was a shadow of her former self. The pain was so powerful, she was sure that one day it would kill her. She longed for that day.
Everyday felt like a battle for survival, even more so when she saw a pregnant woman, or a woman pushing a pram, or a baby, sitting with its parents. It took everything in her not to break down in the middle of the street, or the middle of the shop floor where she worked when she saw anything like that. In another life, she would have been that woman pushing that pram, holding that baby. But the chance had been ripped from her. She envied all those women; they had everything she'd ever wanted.
Today, she sat by her Mother's grave, staring blankly at her headstone. She hadn't been back to her hometown since she'd left five months ago. It was too painful. But she'd wanted to see her Mum. When her daughter had died, all she'd wanted was for her Mum to be by her side, to tell her everything would be ok. But she hadn't been. It was another kick in the teeth for Amanda.
"I'm sorry I haven't been to visit, Mum" she whispered, playing with the grass at her feet
"It's just too painful, you know? Coming back here, with all the memories" she continued
Her eyes welled up with tears
"I'm trying to be strong, I really am. But it's so hard. I'm nothing without her, I'm nothing without you. I just... I just want her back... I want you back"
She curled into a ball on the floor, hoping the ground would swallow her whole if she lay there long enough. She wanted to disappear; she wanted to not exist anymore.
"Tell me what to do, Mum. Please tell me what to do" she whispered between sobs
Of course, there was no answer. Amanda was on her own with this. She was always alone. Maybe that was her fate; maybe she was destined to be alone for the rest of her life.
Eventually, she got up, wiping her tears with her hand. There was only one way she was going to get through this. She already had a new life. But to get a fresh start, she needed a new name. It was time to say goodbye to Amanda Fenshaw and become someone new, someone who was strong and brave, who had no issues or problems, someone successful.
She turned to the gravestone. It would be the last time she would be visiting for a while.
"Bye, Mum. Look after my little girl for me, ok?"
She turned away, getting back into her car and driving away...
...
Present Day...
A week had gone by since the remains of the little baby had been found. Rachel was feeling much better. She couldn't lie, her heart was still aching, and it always would. But since talking to Eddie and telling him about Rosie, her heart ached a little bit less.
It was the end of another day at Waterloo Road. Rachel was packing her things away into her bag, when there was a knock on the door. She looked up, smiling when she saw Eddie stood casually in the doorway.
"Hi" she smiled
"Hey. Are you about ready?" he smiled
She nodded, putting her coat on. She had promised Eddie a drink at the pub tonight.
As she moved to exit the office, he stopped her. She frowned at him.
"We're not actually going to the pub tonight. Well, we can, but we have to go somewhere first" he explained
"Ok..." she hesitated
"Just come with me, and I'll show you, ok?"
Rachel nodded, following him out into the car park.
Reluctantly, she followed Eddie into his car. She suddenly felt nervous. What did he have planned?
Ten minutes later, they arrived at Rochdale Cemetery. Rachel's confusion only increased as she frowned at Eddie.
"What are we doing here?" she asked
"Just trust me" he reassured her
She sighed, following him out of the car and down the path.
Once they'd passed the rows of gravestones, they were in a field that was full of potted plants. Eddie guided her over to one on the far left. Rachel noticed the way he was looking at her. Whatever he was about to show her was making him nervous.
"I wanted to do something in memory of Rosie. So I did some research. This field is full of plants, dedicated to babies who were stillborn or lost in a miscarriage. So I... well... you can see for yourself" he explained
Rachel looked down at the potted plant in front of her. One small, pink flower was growing out of it.
Rachel crouched down, reading the plaque on the base of the pot.
"In memory of Rosie Mason"
Rachel's eyes welled up with tears. No one had done anything like this for her before, and it meant so much.
She looked up at Eddie, smiling at him. Her heart skipped a beat when she saw he had tears in his eyes.
She stood up, wrapping her arms around him tightly.
"Thank you" she whispered
"It's the least I could do, Rach" he shrugged
She stared at him, completely lost in his soft brown eyes. There was something about Eddie Lawson. She couldn't quite put her finger on it. But one thing was for sure, she felt something deeper than friendship for him. She always had done. She loved Eddie Lawson, and he loved her.
She leaned in, catching her lips with his own. They shared a passionate, but gentle kiss. Rachel felt butterflies erupt in her stomach, her heart singing with happiness. Eddie smiled as his heart fluttered. He loved her so much.
When they parted, they smiled at each other. They didn't have to speak to know what the other was thinking.
The two of them sat down on the grass in front of the potted plant, staring at it for what felt like hours. Rachel couldn't take her eyes off the name on the plaque. Her daughter didn't have a gravestone, she didn't have a final resting place, and it had always bothered Rachel. But now, she did, in a way. Rachel had a place to visit her little girl. It wouldn't bring Rosie back, or ease the heartache, but it gave her something. Eddie had given her something.
"What do you say we go to the pub now, hmm?" Eddie suggested after a while
Rachel nodded
She placed a hand on the base of the plant pot as a way of saying a temporary goodbye. She would be coming back here as often as she could; there was no doubt about that.
The two of them turned away, walking hand in hand back to the car.
The end.
A/N: Hope you all enjoyed! Please review and let me know what you think! :)