Act Two
Romeo, take me somewhere we can be alone
I'll be waiting, all there's left to do is run
You'll be the prince and I'll be the princess
It's a love story, baby, just say, "Yes"
Love Story, Taylor Swift
—-
James wandered back into the beach camp in a daze. He'd been consumed with thoughts of Juliet for the last few hours - her soft eyes, her even softer hair, the way her touch had been so gentle, so loving, even when he'd been a stranger. It had actually helped make the time go by, letting her possess every inch of him as he walked, with only the jungle critters to keep him company.
If someone asked him, for a million dollars, "What the hell just happened?" - he wouldn't be able to answer them. He had no idea.
He'd seen her, and it was as if something had clicked into place inside his chest, something he hadn't realized had been askew. A gear in a clock finding its perfect groove; the last jigsaw piece in a complex puzzle; the last box being unpacked in a brand new home.
Home… something about her had felt like home.
He wasn't certain he'd never met her before, but maybe he had, in another life.
He'd never once believed in soulmates until now. But he wasn't sure what else to call it - it had been electric and sudden, familiar and warm. (He couldn't believe the thought was even crossing his mind. The old Sawyer would be having a conniption right about now.)
Thoughts of Kate were long gone, like dust in the wind. (Had that been what that song was about? he thought, mind wandering.)
He stumbled again, foot catching on an uneven clump of sand in the dark. He threw out his hand for balance even though there weren't any trees around. The memory made him smile, and he looked down at his bandaged hand even though he couldn't see it. Any trace of her was probably long gone by now.
He saw a fire burning in the distance and clicked off his flashlight. He was so close, and then he'd pass the fuck out and hopefully dream of her, if he was lucky. (He couldn't believe he'd gotten so goddamn smitten in a matter of hours. What the hell was wrong with him?)
He hoped she was okay. That she'd gotten back home with no other hiccups. That whomever had come for her hadn't hurt her. It soured his stomach just thinking about it. How they'd almost been caught.
He'd debated off and on the whole way back whether he should turn around and sneak into their camp. He'd wanted to, and he hated himself for not following them. He really should have. She could be hurt. She could need him. But he had to believe that no one had seen him. He'd tried his very best not to leave a trail.
There'd always be other nights, he thought. He didn't know how the fence worked, but maybe he could find a way around it. Maybe he could get through somehow, and figure out how to make contact with her.
God, he wanted to see her again. But did she want to see him? Was she thinking about him the way he was thinking about her?
He felt ragged at the prospect that this could be one-sided. He needed to know.
He entered the barrier that made up their camp, and tried to sneak through unseen to get to his tent. He failed, because Hurley and Jack both turned his way the moment he entered into their periphery.
"Where have you been?" Jack called, drawing the rest of this side of the camp's attention to his return.
He sighed, and ground his teeth. "Nowhere, Doc." He just wanted to go to bed. He was exhausted. They left him well enough alone before this. Why the third degree now?
Jack shook his head, unconvinced. "Sawyer. You can't just do that."
"Do what?"
Jack smiled briefly, as if he'd known they would argue. All they did was argue these days. "You can't just leave camp, and not tell anyone where you're going."
James stood up to his full height, rising to the challenge of this pissing contest. "Last I checked, this wasn't no dictatorship. Been comin' and goin' as I pleased since I was fifteen years old. You secretly my daddy, Jack?"
"Boys - stop," said Kate, who'd inserted herself between the two men. She glared at each one in turn before softening her gaze at James. "Sawyer, we were just worried."
He scoffed, placing a hand on his chest in mock surprise. "Worried? 'Bout little ole me? Come on now, Freckles."
"We were," Hurley added, a quiet voice in the background. James had almost forgotten Hugo was listening.
James threw his head back and released a garbled, frustrated groan. "Okay, fine. Next time I go anywhere, someone here'll know I'm leavin'. Okay?"
"There's just like… you know, kidnappers out there," Hurley added, giving a quick side-eye to Claire who was in the kitchen. Let alone Jack and Kate who were right there in front of him.
"I get it, okay? You win, Kong." Hurley shook his head and left the huddle. Jack, face still furrowed in annoyance, followed suit.
Kate moved to leave too, but James reached out to grab her forearm. "Kate. Wait." She looked up at him, surprised to hear her real name. "I gotta ask ya somethin'."
He tugged her away so they could have more privacy. She narrowed her eyebrows in confusion. "What…?"
"Just… listen, okay? Don't ask questions." She opened her mouth to say something else, but closed it. Once she was still, he asked, "If I ask ya a simple question, can ya just - can ya keep it to yourself?"
"What are you talking about?"
He exhaled sharply. "You keep everyone's else's shit to yourself, I'm sure of it. Now. Lemme ask again. Can you keep my question to yourself or can'tcha? Be honest. I ain't playin' games."
She paused for a moment, contemplating. She crossed her arms across her chest and nodded. The fire flickered behind her, giving her brown hair a reddish glow. James couldn't help but wonder how Juliet's hair would look next to the firelight, too.
"Okay. You'n Jack… when y'all got taken by the Others, what do you remember?"
If she was surprised by his question, she didn't show it. "Um… that depends," she said, clearly wary enough to not give information freely.
He decided to specify, if only to get an answer before Jack came back, seeking to steal her away. "The big fence thing. The pylons. How's it work?"
He could have sworn Kate paled at the question. She licked her lips and took a deep breath before answering. "Well. I don't know why it was built, but it keeps things out, like most fences. I think it emits some kind of energy but I don't know what kind."
"What happened when y'all went through it? Did it hurt?"
Kate shook her head. "We had bags over our heads, so I didn't actually see them until we escaped. Luckily we found a way to climb over them, using a nearby tree."
"Okay, but…" James felt his blood pressure rising. She wasn't telling him what he wanted to know. "What about the first time? When you went through it from this side?"
She bit her lip. "I don't know. We - we stopped, when we were close to it. And someone shouted at someone else to 'put in the code,' whatever that means. Maybe there's a way to shut it off, when they want to come and go."
"And you don't know the code?" he asked, knowing he was desperate at this point.
She rolled her eyes. "No. If we did, we wouldn't have risked breaking our necks, climbing a tree." She waited a beat while he digested this information, and then asked, leaning in, "Why are you asking me this?"
Now it was James's turn to chew on his lip. "It don't matter why. I just wanna know."
"Okay fine, don't tell me," she snapped. "But why me, huh? Why ask me, and not Jack?"
Because he didn't trust Jack. Because Jack was a controlling bastard who'd never give him the information he asked for. Because Kate was like him, in more ways than she realized, no doubt, and he'd seen her have the opportunity to rat someone out before, and she didn't. He just hoped she gave him the same courtesy.
"Because," he responded, and left it at that. He turned to go to his tent, ready as hell to get off his feet, but he turned around one more time. "Don't tell no one, Kate," he warned again, and took her silence as an agreement.
—-
The next day, James packed his bag again, this time with food, plenty of water, and other supplies: bandaids, extra socks, a lighter, things he might find useful if he needed to camp out.
He waited diligently until early afternoon before signaling Jin, who barely spoke a lick of English. He told him he was going on a walk and would be back later. Jin only stared at him absently, and James snickered to himself as he walked away. He'd done as the doc asked. He'd told someone.
Excitement flooded his belly as he walked in the direction of the Others' camp. He ran with it, shoving away any creeping, intrusive thoughts of potential rejection that were growing like ivy on his confidence. There wasn't time for that. He'd decided, and he needed to see it through.
He knew the way now. Not just the general direction, but the landmarks. He passed by the same dead tree that had been struck by lightning at some point and the same boulder shaped like Hurley's haircut. It culminated in a fairly easy trek; even the weather was cooperating. It was much more breezy and overcast today than it was yesterday.
Everything seemed to be in his favor so far. Except for this damned fence.
He tried to work out a plan in his head of how he'd approach it when he got there. He could maybe try to find the same tree Kate and Jack had used, but it was on the other side. And, he wasn't so great at climbing trees. Kate was a fucking monkey compared to him, he'd seen it firsthand.
He could look at the markings on the numbers, perhaps. See which ones looked more worn. But how many digits would it be? What if one too many attempts signaled he was tampering with it?
He hoped maybe some idiot had it written down like a computer password in a desk drawer, but he doubted they were that stupid.
He'd just have to see when he got there.
Time flew by, and the closer he got, the harder his heart slammed against his ribcage. He didn't know what to expect; he'd have to think on his feet. Luckily, that was what he did best.
When he finally emerged from the trees and located the nearest pylon, he knew it was time. He looked around and saw the same hill he'd crested the other day in the distance. The one he'd stood atop, and saw Juliet sneaking off into the woods. But it was still outside the perimeter.
He walked towards the pylon before him and opened up the rusty, creaky flap that showed the dial pad inside. It looked old, worn down. There was no discernable way to guess the numbers that way.
His breathing felt erratic as he examined the panel, the musty, irony scent that came from age lingering in front of his face. He almost shut the panel so he could think, but something caught his eye. On the inside wall, tucked in the back, was a tiny little compartment. It looked so flush to the main unit, he almost hadn't noticed it. But it was there.
He stuck his longest fingernail inside, and winced as he propped it open. It groaned, just the tiniest bit, like it hadn't been opened in years. Inside, he found a small container of… something squishy? He wasn't sure he dared look, but he brought the container up to his face and saw… earplugs.
Earplugs? Why the hell would he need earplugs?
He looked up at the fence, and straightened himself back up. The lid of the console clanged shut.
Earplugs. Tucked into the back of the compartment. He wondered… Maybe the fence's power lied in assailing one's eardrums? Maybe it screeched or something when you walked through, frying your brain like a pan of bacon. Or maybe it just somehow rendered the person unconscious, but didn't kill them?
This was a huge risk. James didn't know what he was doing. What if this went poorly, and these ancient-looking earplugs didn't work? What if the fence was cranked up so high, he didn't pass out, but actually did permanently fry his brain?
Should he really be risking this?
But did he have any other choice?
He looked around. It was open space for as far as his eyes could see. There was no way to hop the fence in sight. No handholds to grasp, so climbing the pylon itself was out.
This was his only option. He swallowed thickly, wondering if he maybe should have taken Jack's warning more seriously. No one knew he was out here.
Above his head, James could see bright, azure blue strips of sky visible through the dense clouds as they moved. It felt like a sign.
Blue eyes, here I come, he thought, and shoved the earplugs in his ears.
He ran through the fence before he could think twice about it.
The buzzing reverberated through his entire body, like his bones had been struck with a tuning fork. He grunted and groaned and fell to his knees, but he was conscious. He spit and heaved heavy breaths, but he was alive. The fence hadn't killed him.
He was almost there.
Once he'd found his footing again a few moments later, he pulled the earplugs from his ears and shoved them in his pocket. He'd need them again later, to get home. (He refused to use the word 'if' in his outlook. He would make it back.)
He remembered which direction the village was in, so he kept low and followed the inside edge of the fence until he could hear signs of life. So far, the alarms didn't seem to be raised. So far, he seemed to be undetected.
Soon, James found a cluster of dense foliage, and he crouched as low as he could go to crawl inside. The twigs scraped against his skin, so he moved slowly, quietly, til he reached a break in his vision.
Just down the hill, the village bustled. He was much closer than he'd been before, and he could see faces now. He searched, with a thudding heart and darting eyes, but no sign of Juliet. Not yet, anyway. He didn't know which house was hers. He couldn't just go knocking on each one; he needed to know for sure.
He should have come up with a better plan than having a stake-out outside Otherton village. He felt stupid and insecure, sitting here like a fucking stalker. But he'd let his heart take the reins, for the first time in maybe his whole life, and it had led him here. For a purpose, he tried to convince himself. Because one of two things would happen today: either she'd tell him she cared for him in the same way he did, or she'd think he was crazy and he never had to see her again.
He had to know. One way or another, he wasn't leaving here until he knew.
—-
Over an hour passed, and James's legs were cramping. He felt completely foolish, and damn-near ready to give up on this idiotic plan. His confidence and drive was leaking out of him like coffee out of a cracked mug; soon there'd be nothing left inside.
But then, there - a flash of blonde. Perhaps he hadn't made a mistake after all! He almost whooped aloud, and had to slap a hand over his mouth to keep his relief intact.
She was leaving someone's house, wearing a pale yellow shirt and blue jeans. She turned and waved to the other person - some older lady, holding a book, standing in her own doorway and waving back - and headed across the lawn to another cluster of houses.
Her golden hair was wavy today and spilled out over her shoulders, long and luscious and beautiful. She was smiling as she walked; her face was so bright. Her joy, combined with her hair, her shirt - it was like she was the goddamned sun.
He waited, holding his breath, to see which house she walked into. Without thinking, he pushed his fist into his stomach. He was so fucking nervous.
And then she stopped at one of the doors. She didn't knock; she just opened it and disappeared inside.
Bingo.
It was already dusk. Might as well wait until it was dark, he figured. He'd sneak around the back, since her front door faced the center of the compound. He'd get her attention somehow, talk to her, and that would be that.
Soon. He'd know soon. Until then, the only thing he could do was steel his nerves, and wait.
—-
As soon as darkness finally fell over the island, James stowed his now-empty canteen back in his bag and rose from where he'd been sitting against an overgrown tree. He fluffed his fingers through his hair and shook his hands down by his side. He was nervous, but he was determined for this stakeout not to have been in vain. He just needed to suck it up and face his fate.
With measured footsteps, James crept down the hill and around the backs of this main cluster of houses. He took his time, careful not to stumble, wary of the noise he made.
He saw her light was on, and it gave him a warm feeling in his stomach. He was so close; he just prayed she was still alone. He couldn't risk getting caught - not here. Surely they'd kill him on sight. They knew who their people were, and he sure as hell wasn't one of them.
Distantly, in the very back corner of his mind, James wasn't sure why any of that mattered, anyway. What kind of life was he really living here? He could defect, easily, if it meant being with her. He didn't feel like he owed any of the people back on the beach anything. What the hell had they ever done for him?
But just because he was willing, didn't mean they'd accept the likes of him with open arms. They were enemies, and there was nothing he could do to change that.
He ran his hand along her house, skin tingling with nerves. He knew this was stupid. He had better survival instincts than this! What the hell was he thinking?
He tapped lightly on the window before he could talk himself out of it. Light opera music was coming from inside the house; she probably wouldn't hear him anyway.
He waited a beat and then tried once more. This was it. If she didn't come to the window now, he'd turn back. He'd forget this ever happened. He'd take it as a sign.
He didn't know what else to do.
—-
Juliet read the same sentence three times before putting the book down on her chest. She stared at the wall, her mind careening off the waterfall she'd visited the day prior, plunging into the pool of insanity below.
James. She couldn't stop thinking about him. The way his dimples seemed to have a mind of their own. The blue green color of his eyes, which were also somehow grey. The deep timbre of his voice that made her knees weak.
She hoped he'd made it back to his camp alright. She knew he hadn't been caught by any of Ben's people; she would have heard about it if that were the case. But what if he got hurt out there in the jungle somehow? He did before, he could do it again. What if he needed her?
Her eyes traveled to her closet. To the bag of clothes and supplies that she always kept there, ready for anything. She'd packed it so long ago, stowing it away just in case she ever needed it.
What if…?
No. That wouldn't work. She couldn't. Ben wouldn't let her. But it didn't stop the daydream from coming. Of pulling the bag over her shoulders, escaping through her window like she'd done before. She knew the general direction of their beach camp. She could probably make it there in a few hours, maybe half a day if she somehow got off-track. They were good people, the Oceanic survivors. They'd take her in, even if it took time for them not to hate her, she was sure of it.
But would he? Was he thinking about her the way she was thinking about him? He could be her ticket out of here. He could help her escape Ben.
She shook her head. The daydreaming… it was all make-believe. Even if she wanted to, her attempt would be futile. It would start a real war between their people, and her life wasn't worth more than theirs. Ben would annihilate them all, if given the right nudge.
She felt her cheeks warm, even alone in her room. She felt ridiculous, naive, and her eyes fell away from the closet door.
Where the hell had James even come from? And why couldn't she stop thinking about him? About running her fingers through his hair. About licking his sharp hip bones, one by one, about –
She heard a tapping sound. She sat up, the book tumbling onto the bed. Her heart skipped a beat before launching itself into her throat.
She paused, listening more intently. There it was again. She wasn't imagining it after all.
Fingers shaking, she climbed out of bed and pulled back the curtain.
James was crouched in the darkness, right outside her window. She took in a sharp breath, unsure of whether she should be elated or worried. She quickly unlatched the window locks and threw the pane up.
"What are you doing here?" she breathed unevenly, sticking her head out the window.
"Well hiya Blondie," he drawled, and she was fairly certain the sound, combined with his smug smile, lit a bonfire between her legs.
"James, I'm serious. You could get killed! You can't let them find you. Ben –"
He stepped up and put his hands on either side of her face, cradling her gently between his rough, warm palms. The bonfire ignited, turning into a full-blown inferno. "I can't stop thinkin' about ya. I don't know why, or how, or what, but goddammit… you just might be the most beautiful woman I've ever seen, and I can't get you outta my head."
"Oh," she heard herself breathe, but it was like she had transcended her body and was now on another plane of existence. "I - I see…"
"And I know it's crazy - trust me, I know - but I just… I needed to know if…" He got quiet, as if the words were stuck behind his teeth.
She didn't make him suffer long. Her face split into a surprised, bemused smile. "I've been thinking about you, too." She looked him up and down, unsure how to put how she felt in words. "I can't explain it either… it's…" His hands moved to brush down her neck. She shivered at his touch. "Surreal," she ended lamely.
He grinned; the cat that got the canary. "Glad I ain't crazy, then."
Juliet giggled. "Oh no, you are. But so am I, I guess." His hands dropped and her skin felt suddenly cold in his absence. "But James, I'm not kidding. You can't be here. If Ben finds you, he will kill you."
James shook his head, a cocky gesture, but he stepped closer to her window all the same, until he was almost touching the house. "I ain't afraid of Ben. I can handle myself."
"You don't understand him. You don't understand what he'd do, if –" she paused, unsure of how to phrase this. She always hated the way Ben felt about her, but saying it out loud, now… it felt wrong. "He'll do more than you can possibly imagine, to keep me here with him. He thinks I'm his," she swallowed thickly, "and he won't let anything threaten that."
"You're a grown woman. You wanna come back with me, you can. He can't do nothin' to stop you."
Tears pricked the backs of Juliet's eyes. He was so very wrong. "Yes, he can. Please. I don't wanna see you get hurt, no matter how wonderful your idea sounds."
Despite the looming threat of death, she saw a light bloom in James's eyes. "You'd do it? Just like that? You don't know me, but you'd come back with me?"
How could she possibly explain that she'd been thinking of just that, mere minutes ago? She wondered if perhaps she'd said too much. She didn't want to come across as easy, regardless of the fact that he'd been the one to put himself out there like this. He'd been the one to overcome incredible obstacles just to find her.
But still, doubt and insecurity lived like squatters in her head at all times. It was damn near impossible to evict them.
"Too many people would get hurt," she explained softly, and now it was her turn to touch him. She traced the stubble on his jaw with her fingers; ran the tips along his eyebrows, his hairline. His eyes closed shut at her touch, completely at her mercy. "I don't want to be responsible for any more destruction."
"It ain't you, Helen. It's Menelaus who'd be responsible."
She smirked, and ducked her eyes down. He was comparing her to the most beautiful woman in the world. She didn't know how to feel about that. "You're sweet," she murmured, and dropped her hands. He sighed, seemingly as affected as she'd been like the lack of physical touch between them. "Look, why don't you come inside? It'll be safer in here, where no one can see you."
James chuckled and leaned forward, until his face was inches from hers. "For safety, huh?" he teased, his voice low and suggestive, fanning the flames already burning brightly under her skin.
Juliet giggled and opened her mouth to respond, but from behind her, she heard three loud knocks.
The fire was doused with ice water, and her heart began to pound. Her eyes widened, and met his in the dim light. "Oh my god," she breathed, her voice high and breathy and afraid. "Uhh, oh, just – " she said, and pulled her head back into her house. She placed a now-sweating hand on her forehead in sheer panic.
What did she do now? The sour feeling in her gut told her it was Ben. What if he came inside? What if he found James here? How on earth could she possibly explain this, in a way that didn't get him killed?
She leaned her head back outside and kissed him hard on the cheek. "Meet me tomorrow night. Do you know where the North Point is?" He opened and closed his mouth, unsure of what to say. She closed her eyes, recalling, "From your camp, head north til you get to the Black Rock, then veer to the west. It's a rocky cliff just a few miles from there, at the end of a dirt path that was used as a road a long time ago. You can't miss it." She opened her eyes, finding his worried ones staring back at her, wide and uncertain.
The knocks came again, but louder. She swallowed. "Midnight, okay? Try to cover your tracks. I'll be there."
James nodded, and returned the favor, planting a quick kiss to her cheek before disappearing into the darkness beyond her house. Juliet was fairly certain he took her heart with him.
She straightened her clothes as she went to the front door, after having shut her window most of the way closed. She schooled her expression like he'd taught her, feigning like she might have been asleep.
When she opened the door, he looked alarmed. "Ben. What is it?" she asked him, her voice slow and eyelids heavy. She had a part to play.
"Juliet!" Ben exclaimed with a small laugh, and his posture immediately relaxed. "When you didn't answer right away I got worried."
Juliet allows a small, tight smile to her face. "I'm sorry. I guess I fell asleep reading. I didn't hear you."
Ben waved a hand in the air. "No matter. I apologize for the late hour, but I wanted to invite you to a dinner party I'm having at my house tomorrow."
Her stomach lurched at the prospect, and she had to force herself to remain calm. She could either refuse, and risk angering him - even if that was what she wanted - or she could agree, and suffer through an insufferable evening. Either way, she'd still get to see James when all was said and done. She supposed it couldn't hurt to be on Ben's good side.
"Sure, Ben. What time?"
He looked delighted, and it sickened her. "Seven?"
Juliet nodded. "Okay. See you then."
Ben turned to leave. "Oh, and Juliet?" he said, and Juliet held the door just shy of being all the way closed. "Be a dear and bring those dinner rolls you brought last time, hmm?"
She feigned another smile and nodded before closing the door completely. Thinking about James was surely the only way she'd get through the next day unscathed. She just really hoped he showed.
—-
James was still grinning by the time he got back to his camp. His legs were screaming and he was pretty sure he had blisters on his feet, but none of that mattered.
She liked him. She liked him the way he liked her.
It felt so goddamn juvenile, thinking of it like that. But it was true, wasn't it? What else was he supposed to think?
All he wanted to do now was sleep. The sun would rise in a couple hours, and he had a low headache hanging over his brow from exhaustion. Plus, if he was quiet enough, he could slip into his tent with everyone else none the wiser.
Except… James emerged from the trees, a few yards from his tent, and saw Desmond standing just on the other side, staring out over the dark ocean.
He skidded to a stop, and Desmond looked up. "Well hello there," he said, eyes narrowing at James. "Been out?"
"What's it to you?" James retorted, and Desmond frowned. They stood there, staring at one another, neither willing to give in to this game of wills. Finally, James tsked lightly and spoke again, breaking the silence. "What do you know about the Others?" he asked. If the question caught Desmond off-guard, he didn't show it.
"Not much more than you, I suspect," Desmond answered, and turned back to face the ocean again. Despite his need for sleep, James stood next to him, facing the same direction.
"Can ya keep a secret?" James asked quietly, unsure as to why he was doing this - again - when he'd been so desperate for subterfuge only moments before. Perhaps he was even more desperate for wisdom, for guidance.
Desmond half laughed, and shook his head before looking over at where Claire and Charlie were sleeping soundly. He looked wistful, anguished, and finally nodded. "Aye."
James chewed on the inside of his cheek. He was positively bursting with excitement; he needed to tell someone, and Desmond seemed like a good enough guy - neutral, like Switzerland. He wasn't really one of them, was he? He was here before any of them even crashed here. And as far as James knew, he wasn't one of the Others, either.
"I met one of 'em," James half-whispered, and Desmond's head jerked back around to stare at James.
"The Others?"
James nodded. "I can't explain it. It's only been a couple days, but she…"
"So it's a woman?" Desmond grinned, and crossed his arms across his chest, intrigued.
James nodded once more, sighing a little. He was starting to regret saying anything at all. The last thing he needed was judgment. "It's freaky, man. I stumbled onto where she was out cryin' in the jungle the other day… She's bein' kept there, like a prisoner." He left off the part where he'd sought her out, hoping to use her as a bargaining chip before she'd surprised him into submission.
Desmond's face fell, and his eyebrows narrowed in confusion. "Prisoner?"
James's mouth pursed into a tight line. "Yeah. By their dictator. A guy named Ben."
"Same one who took Jack and Kate?"
"One in the same."
Desmond clicked his tongue and looked down at the sand, seemingly lost in thought. "You know… I thought you were into Kate."
James grit his teeth. "It don't matter who I was into. She's into the doc, anyway." He turned to face Desmond. "Look, this girl… she likes me too. Feels whatever this… thing… is, between us. She wants to meet up, midnight."
Desmond scoffed. "They're dangerous, mate. How d'you know she isn't just puttin' one over on you? On his orders?"
James shook his head, adamant. "She ain't. I know a con when I see one. She had no idea I was gonna find her."
Desmond's eyebrows shot up to his hairline and his mouth fell open slightly. "Now hold on just a minute…"
"I ain't askin' for your blessin', here. I gotta get her outta there, okay? So… I'm just wonderin' - you been here longer'n anyone. Do you know of a way off this damn island?"
"Ya think I'd still be standin' here if I did?" Desmond snapped, and James's shoulders slumped. He had a point. "There's only one way off this island, Sawyer. And it's a one-way ticket to the afterlife." He paused for a moment, letting the enormity of his statement sink in. James's face fell, and Desmond sighed, before softening his tone. "I've been tryin' for years. If I knew a way, I'd tell ya. We just… we're doomed, alright? The sooner we accept that, the better."
The statement struck James like a physical blow, taking all the wind out of his now-punctured sails. He nodded slowly, and silently excused himself from the conversation. But before he could crawl inside his tent, Desmond softly called after him, "I'm glad you found someone, brotha." He smiled, albeit sadly. "Even a sliver of happiness is better than nothing in this place."
James nodded in understanding, trying and failing to recapture his mood from before. His stomach was in knots, even as sleep finally claimed him.
—-
It was mid-afternoon when Jack pulled Hurley aside, an irritated expression on his face. "I talked to Jin, Hurley…" he started saying, and laughed mildly as he shook his head. His anger was growing higher and higher by each passing second. "He tells me Sawyer snuck off again last night."
"He did?" Hurley asked, genuine disbelief evident in his face. He didn't know about James's whereabouts, and Jack could tell.
"Where do you suppose he went?" Jack asked anyway.
Hurley shrugged, looking over at James's still-closed tent flap. He was asleep, despite the late hour. "I don't know, dude. If you wanna ask him, maybe wait til he wakes up, and –"
"Was Kate with him?" Jack asked, his tone urgent but drowned out by the light chatter coming from the kitchen.
Hurley's eyebrows narrowed in confusion. "I said I didn't know, Jack."
"You're his friend."
"You're supposed to be, too." An awkward silence fell between them, and Jack shifted uncomfortably.
"He didn't listen, he –"
"Sounds to me like he told Jin," Hurley mumbled, and Jack scoffed.
"Oh yeah, sure. Told the guy who didn't speak English."
"What's going on?" Kate asked, suddenly joining their conversation. She smoothed back her hair and began tying it up into a ponytail.
Hurley shifted uncomfortably. He wondered if Kate had sensed Jack talking about her. "Sawyer wandered off, I guess. Last night."
Kate paled, and her hands fell away slowly from her ponytail. A small piece she missed swayed in the breeze. "He did?"
Jack took a half step forward, homing in on her distressed expression. "What do you know?" he asked, and Kate flinched.
"Nothing, I –"
"Kate," he said again, more firmly this time. "If he's doing something, I need to know about it. If he's endangering the group, I –"
"He's not," Kate said, but it was soft and unconvincing.
"Kate…" Jack murmured, and stooped to look more into her eyes.
Her mouth opened and closed, an awkward silence brewing between them, until it was popped by her ragged sigh. "I don't know where he went, okay? I just know he asked me about the pylons –"
"Pylons?" Jack exclaimed, and Hurley's eyebrows shot up.
Kate's cheeks flamed, and she looked guiltily over her shoulder at James's quiet tent. "Yes, but he made me promise not to tell."
"Why was he asking about the pylons?" Jack scoffed, and put his hands angrily on his hips. He'd told the whole group how dangerous the Others were. What they'd gone through, when he and Kate had been kidnapped. What on earth would make Sawyer even think about going over there? "He's going to get us all killed," he added, softly and with disdain. "First it'll just be him. Then it'll be all of us. He knows better."
As if summoned by the thrill of an impending argument with his least favorite person in camp, James finally emerged from his tent. He stretched, showing a strip of his belly in the process, yawning in tandem.
Jack approached him, his glare sharpening to a point. "Where were you last night?" he asked, and James froze mid-stride.
"The hell…?" he asked, and then noticed the sheepish expression on Kate's face. His eyes narrowed in anger. "Kate…"
"I asked you a question, Sawyer."
James sighed, straightened, and glared right back at Jack. "I seem to be gettin' some deja vu here, Jackie Boy."
"I asked you a question. Answer me."
Smiling, James answered. "And I still don't see how that's any'a your business."
Jack grit his jaw. "It's my business when you go out there - to the same people who've kidnapped us, terrorized us - and for what? Huh? What're you trying to prove?" He moved his jaw back and forth, coming completely unhinged by his lack of control. "You think you can lead us better than I can? Is that what this is about?"
James barked a fake, patronizing laugh. "You think I give a damn about leadin' these people? Ya gotta be kiddin' me…" He shook his head and moved to head towards the kitchen, but Jack moved to stand in his way.
"I'm not finished!"
"Like hell you are!"
"Stop it! Okay?" Hurley shouted, and stood between the two men who were posturing for dominance. "Guys - this is getting out of hand." He backed off, breathing heavily like the confrontation was making him uncomfortable.
"He's not wrong, Jack," Kate said quietly, and touched his arm. She turned to look at James. "Right?"
James shook his head, backing down a bit. "I did as you said. I told Jin. It ain't my problem if you weren't more clear 'bout your rules, Mussolini."
Jack's face was rigid, pupils dilated and his breathing ragged. He was pissed. "That wasn't what I meant."
James snickered, just to be an ass. "You wanted me to tell you, huh? You my keeper now? Been a while since I been on probation…" He was seeing red too, and before he could think twice about his actions, he reached forward and slung an arm over Kate's shoulder. "How's about I tell your girl, instead? Like my little secretary. What d'ya say, Freckles?"
She shook him off just as Jack took a menacing step forward. "She's not your secretary," he hissed, but Kate held up a hand.
"Both of you, stop. Jack, I can handle myself, and Sawyer…" She faced him, moving in close. "Touch me like that again and you'll regret it." She held the tension between them for a beat, before shaking her head in frustration, letting out a desperate huff. "God, you two… Can't you just get along? For five minutes? Jack's just looking out for all of us, and you're just looking out for yourself. They. Are. Dangerous, Sawyer. Whatever you're trying to do, don't."
James blinked. They had no idea just how much he was risking, going over there. But they had no idea just how much he stood to gain, either. How, even after only a couple of days, he felt more alive than he had in years, simply due to learning of her existence. How she'd filled the lonely void inside of him. How he'd risk a hell of a lot more than his own life to try to free her, consequences be damned.
(He half wondered if they had a right to be suspicious of his behavior. To be wary of his choices. He'd hand every single person over if it meant securing her freedom. There was no rhyme or reason or explanation for it, it just was.)
He almost told them everything. With all three sets of eyes trained on him, studying him, trying to figure out what he was cooking up and why… he almost told them that he was maybe, quite possibly, (almost probably) in love with someone he'd just met.
But he didn't. One, because that was fucking insane, and two, Juliet was waiting for him. He wouldn't do anything that could potentially jeopardize his ability to meet her tonight.
And if he told them he was consorting with an Other? They'd lock him up real tight.
"Last I checked, I'm a grown ass man. I ain't got nothin' to explain to nobody, and I ain't done nothin' wrong." He zeroed in on Jack. "I ain't got no interest in your job, your girl, or anything else you got all warped in that egg-head of yours. So back off, and leave me the fuck alone."
A heavy moment passed between them, when Jack looked like he was going to throw the most powerful punch he could muster, but Kate pressed lightly on his chest, urging him away. It wasn't until they were out of sight that James finally let his shoulders slump. Indignation gone with the wind, the sour taste of guilt burning in its place.
"That was a bit much, man…" Hurley added, and James said nothing. He had nothing against the big guy, and he was already feeling bad enough. "Jack's not wrong."
"Well he sure as hell's goin' about it the wrong way," James snapped, and started walking towards the kitchen. He was starving, and needed to eat before his journey tonight.
Hurley followed. "What's changed, man? You seem… different."
"Nothin's different, Hoss," he replied under his breath, and grabbed the last of the cereal to bring back to his tent.
Hurley frowned. "There's gotta be somethin'. You're going over there for some reason."
"Yeah and if I tell you, you'll run off and go tell King Jack. No thanks." Hurley kept following him, and James finally turned around, annoyed. "Quit followin' me. You ain't my friend, and I ain't tellin' you shit, okay? So just…" He sighed, and all the fight whooshed out of him. He was tired, and the hurt look on Hurley's face didn't make this any easier. "Look... Just know… just know it's important to me, whatever it is, okay? I gotta keep it secret because it means somethin' to me. That's all ya gotta know. So just… drop it? Please?"
Hurley, still frowning, took a meaningful step backwards. "That was all you had to say, dude," he bit out, clearly wounded, and left James alone with his cereal box, staring after him long after he was gone.
—-
Juliet was grinning as she packed her things; a large blanket and a bottle of wine among the more important essentials. She was careful to go about her evening routine as usual, so as to not make Ben suspicious. She'd smiled politely through dinner, listening to Adam and Sharon drone on. Harper and Goodwin argued under their breath, allowing them the perfect excuse to leave early. Danny and Colleen stayed for far too long, which left Juliet trying to find a natural opening to leave. She settled on, "It's getting late, but this has been lovely."
But she supposed it was better than it just being the two of them this time, even if she and Ben were the only non-couple there. She shivered at the insinuation, hoping to God no one else noticed that only couples had been invited.
As usual, she turned off her music around 10:00. She'd tried to pick a location that would be less walking for James to get to, but it meant a farther haul for herself. She'd been sure to take an afternoon nap right before dinner, but she'd burnt the rolls in her rush to get over to Ben's in time for dinner.
Not like it mattered. He was never truly satisfied with anything she did, anyway. (Nor did she really care, to be frank.)
She sat on her couch in the dark, staring at the clock and shimmying her leg. She could barely make out the time from this distance, but she didn't dare turn a light on to check. Ben needed to think she was asleep for this to work.
When it was finally time, she locked her front door and checked the locks on all her windows before doing as she'd done before, and climbed out of the one attached to her bedroom. The very same window that James had visited the night before, which made her smile at the curious coincidence.
It still gave her butterflies just thinking about it. About him. (But she supposed it could be the nerves, too.) Thank God for wine.
She knew the path, but it got too hard to see after leaving the lamps of the compound. She clicked on her flashlight, grinning giddily to herself as she wove through the trees and made her way to the North Point.
She was so excited, but she was nervous, too. So much was at stake here, but she had no regrets.
She couldn't wait to see him.
—-
James did as Juliet said, following her directions to a tee. He replayed his conversations with both Jack and Desmond, and hoped and prayed he wasn't making a mistake. They'd planted a seed of doubt - that his actions could get every one of the Oceanic survivors killed - and even he wasn't immune to those worries.
Why couldn't this be simple? Why couldn't he have her, and also not cause an all-out war between their people? Was that really so much to ask?
But despite all that… he still felt like this was worth it. He hadn't felt true giddiness in years, and he'd go to war over this feeling. He would. Because this feeling… it was like a drug. He just wanted more of it, all the time. He wanted her, pumped into his bloodstream, until they were indistinguishable from one another.
Was that insane? Absolutely. But it didn't make it any less true.
He's never felt anything like this before. She was something special, and he'd be a damned fool if he didn't see this through.
Luckily, her instructions were pretty simple to follow. He found the Black Rock, and then the road. He was close to the shore - he could tell by the distant sounds of waves - when he knew he was close.
For a long while, he looked around, seeing nothing but darkness. He didn't know where she'd be, and it was pitch black in all directions.
But then, just up ahead, under a bright cluster of stars - a flashlight in the darkness. His face split into an excited smile.
She was the sun, and so he followed the light.