Anakin POV
Being almost dead sure takes it out of a person.
Anakin remembered dying, painfully, and yet here he was. Maybe that whole 'one with the Force' thing that Obi-Wan went on about actually meant something. Maybe that crazy old wizard had the right idea when he cut off the collar. Maybe the collar had held Anakin in his body long enough to come back.
Maybe Anakin should stop thinking about this and start figuring out a way to get Obi-wan away from Prince Humper-dick.
As Fezzik crouched down behind a wall next to Inigo, (and wasn't it a surprise to be rescued by those two) Anakin managed to raise his head enough to peer over at the gates.
Yeah, that was a lot of guards.
"You lifted your head!" Fezzik said happily.
"I've always been a quick healer. What are our liabilities?"
"There is but one working castle gate, and it is guarded by sixty men," Inigo replied.
"And our assets?"
"Your brains, Fezzik's strength, my steel."
"That's it? I'm not know for my brains, actually, more my ability to leap into trouble and manage to get back out without too many scars. If I had my full strength, then maybe I could do something. But as it is…" Anakin shook his head.
"You just shook your head! That doesn't make you happy?" Fezzik said.
Anakin glared at Fezzik.
"My brains, his steel, and your strength against sixty men and you think a little head jiggle is supposed to make me happy?"
Anakin had an idea. It was probably one that his Master would hate, but that's pretty much all of Anakin's ideas, so…
"If we only had a wheelbarrow, we could do something," Anakin said.
"Where did we put that wheelbarrow the albino had?" Inigo asked, looking over at Fezzik.
"Over the albino, I think?"
"Why didn't you list that among our assets in the first place?" Anakin asked with an exasperated sigh.
"How about a holocaust cloak? Got one of those up your sleeve?" Anakin snarked.
"There we cannot help you," Inigo said with a frown.
"Umm," Fezzik hummed, pulling a black cloak from under his shirt, "Would this do?"
Anakin gaped at the large man. The Force really must be back, because these coincidences were piling up.
"Where did you get that?" Inigo asked, raising an eyebrow.
"At Miracle Max's. It fit so nice; he said I could keep it."
"Alright, alright, come help me up," Anakin ordered.
They lifted him so he could see better over the wall and Anakin calculated.
"Now I'll need a sword eventually."
"Why? You can't even lift one," Inigo asked.
"True, but they don't know that."
Inigo gives him a sword and Anakin nods in thanks, managing to attach it to his belt.
"Now, there may be problems once we're inside," Anakin said.
"I'll say. How do I find the Count? Once I do, how do I find you again? Once I find you again, how do we escape?" Inigo asked, counting the problems on his fingers.
"Don't pester him, he's had a hard day," Fezzik interjected.
"Right, right. Sorry."
"Inigo?" Fezzik said.
"What?"
"I hope we win."
Anakin shut his eyes and sighed. This was the team he had to work with?
-000-
Obi-Wan POV
"You'll make the announcement tonight," Humperdinck ordered.
"I will never help you," Obi-Wan said, staring straight ahead.
"You will make the announcement tonight, or I will kill you, slowly," the prince said into Obi-Wan's ear as he pressed a knife along Obi-Wan's side, leaving a thin trail of blood behind.
Obi-Wan didn't respond.
"You think your friend will come for you? Is that it?" Humperdinck asked, moving to look Obi-Wan in the eyes.
"Anakin will come for me, and when he does nothing will stop him. Not even you and your army," Obi-wan snapped, clenching his fists.
"Your friend is dead. I killed him myself. Didn't you hear him scream?" Humperdinck boasted with a twisted grin.
Obi-Wan flinched. He had heard the scream and his heart had cracked in two. But it was only a scream. Anakin couldn't be dead. Not after all this. Surely, he would feel it if he died…
No, Anakin lived and he was coming for him. All Obi-Wan had to do is be ready.
"You lie," Obi-Wan said flatly, knowing he would pay for his words.
The prince reached into his pocket and pulled out a long braid.
Anakin's Padawan braid.
His Anakin's braid.
Obi-Wan blanched as his breath left him.
Humperdinck held out the strand and Obi-Wan reached for it slowly, never taking his eyes off the beads that shone in the flickering lamp light.
The braid coiled in his palm and Obi-Wan brought his hand to his chest, cradling the hair protectively.
Anakin. His Anakin. His Padawan. His brother.
Obi-Wan fell to his knees, bent over the braid in his hands, and sobbed.
Anakin POV
"Stand your ground, men! Stand your ground! Stand your ground!" the captain of the guard shouted.
Anakin wanted to laugh. The pitiful guards under his command would not stand their ground against the 'Dread Pirate Roberts'; even if they weren't about to light Fezzik on fire.
Anakin grinned. Now, this was a plan!
Inigo struggled as he pushed Fezzik forwards in the wheelbarrow, Fezzik's billowing cloak making it hard to see. Also, having Anakin draped over his shoulder could be another hinderance.
Anakin sighed. It was not fun being a dead weight.
"I am the Dread Pirate Roberts! There will be no survivors!" Fezzik rumbled impressively.
"Now?" Inigo asked, holding up the torch.
"Not yet," Anakin responded. Maximum drama must be had!
"My men are here! I am here! But soon, you will not be here!" Fezzik said, his voice like thunder.
Even Anakin had a chill go up his spine. This was such a great plan!
Inigo grunted and sagged; his strength obviously waning.
"Now?" he wheezed.
"Light him!" Anakin ordered gleefully.
With barely a touch of the torch, Fezzik's robe went up in blazing flames. Anakin and Inigo flinched back, and Anakin suddenly hoped he hadn't accidentally cooked his co-conspirator.
"The Dread Pirate Roberts takes no survivors! All your worst nightmares have but to come true!" Fezzik cried, and Anakin let out a breath of relief. The plan was still on track.
The screaming of the guards grew distant as they ran away.
"The Dread Pirate Roberts is here for your soul!" Fezzik intoned, his voice going so deep that Anakin felt it in his bones.
The captain of the guard shouted for his men to stand their ground, but Anakin knew that most, if not all, had run by now. A shoddy group of cowards, all of them.
Sure enough, when Fezzik sheds his now smoldering cloak, only the captain still remains.
"Fezzik, the portcullis!" Anakin cries as he sees the guard captain make a run for it.
If only he had the Force back! He could stop that gate with a flick of his wrist.
Thankfully, Fezzik had the strength of a Gundark and managed to push the portcullis back up.
Inigo drags him towards Fezzik and the captain of the guard. Anakin attempts to stand straight, his arm still over Inigo's shoulder for support.
"Give us the gate key," Anakin demands.
"I have no gate key."
Anakin wants to roll his eyes, but Inigo takes control of the situation.
"Fezzik, tear his arms off."
Anakin nearly snorts in amusement. Yeah, Fezzik is about Wookie sized, so it would probably work.
"Oh, you mean this gate key," the man responds, holding it out with trembling hands.
Finally inside, Inigo shifts Anakin over to Fezzik's strong arms and takes the lead. Anakin fumes at his lack of strength (come on Force) but tactfully shuffles along.
Of course, they don't get far before trouble finds them. Four guards and Count Rugen charge down the hall.
They all stare at each other for a moment, Inigo with sword in hand, then the count speaks.
"Kill the dark one and the giant but leave the third for questioning."
Anakin tenses, his hand on the borrowed sword at his belt; though he knew he did not have the strength to raise it, nevertheless fight.
The four guards try to rush Inigo, but they are no match for his brilliant swordsmanship.
Anakin can only watch, impressed, as Inigo slays all four. If Inigo had the Force, he would be an amazing Jedi.
Now only Count Rugen remains. Inigo looks down at the six fingers on the man's hand and then his face twisted into a snarl.
"Hello, my name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die."
Inigo raises his sword for a dual, and the count matches his stance. Then, abruptly, the count turns and runs away.
Anakin lets out a startled laugh.
"What the kriff?"
Inigo, of course, pursues.
A door slams, and the sound of a body slamming into wood quickly follows.
"Fezzik! I need you!" Inigo calls.
"I can't leave him alone!" Fezzik responds, looking down at Anakin.
"He's getting away from me Fezzik! Please, Fezzik!" Inigo begs.
Anakin gestures for Fezzik to go and throws his arm around a nearby statue to keep on his feet.
"I'll be right back," Fezzik reassures.
There's the sound of breaking wood moments later and Anakin grins darkly. Inigo will get his revenge.
Tired of being a hinderance, Anakin decides to go find Obi-Wan. On shaky legs, he leans against the wall for support and heads towards the highest turret, because that's where princesses, or captured Jedi, are always kept. Right?
Obi-Wan POV
Obi-Wan stands in front of the vanity, the mirror mocking him. With the blood-stained white silk robe hanging open across his chest and Anakin's braid clutched in his hand, Obi-Wan looks into the reflection of his empty eyes and wonders if a quick death wouldn't be preferable.
The rest of the Order had not come, would not come by this time, whatever the reason. And now, without Anakin…
Obi-Wan picked up the sharp letter opener that he had pilfered from Humperdinck's desk the last time the man had him brought to his office to…
Obi-Wan shuddered, closing his eyes.
"Really, Master? What are you going to do with that? Give Humper-dick a papercut?"
Obi-wan dropped the knife and spun around.
It couldn't be him. It was some kind of fever dream. It was a hallucination…
"Anakin," Obi-Wan breathed, shaking, "You're alive? He said he killed you."
"Come on, Master. Surely you know a little thing like dying can't stop me from saving your behind," Anakin snarked from the bed.
Obi-Wan stumbled forwards and grabbed Anakin's hand with both of his. It was real. He was here.
"Anakin. He took your braid. I thought you were dead. I thought I'd lost you," Obi-Wan choked out, his throat thick with tears.
Anakin was here. Anakin was alive.
Obi-wan pressed his forehead into the back of Anakin's hand, feeling the warmth of living (living!) flesh meeting his own.
"Hey, hey there, Obi-Wan. It's ok. I'm okay. We're here, together now," Anakin said softly, turning his hand over to rub his thumb along Obi-Wan's cheek comfortingly.
Obi-Wan let out one pathetically thankful sob before reigning in his emotions.
He looked up at Anakin, who appeared shocked and faintly horrified.
"Oh, Master. What did he do to you?" Anakin asked gently.
Obi-Wan suppressed a hysterical laugh, not wanting to frighten his Padawan any more then he already had. What had happened to Jedi Knight Obi-wan Kenobi? Strong, invulnerable, stoic?
He was long gone. Replaced by broken, empty, apathetic, Obi-Wan: the prince's slave.
"No, Master. Not a slave. Never again, you hear me? No one will ever treat you this way again. I won't let them," Anakin said, his voice firm.
Had he spoken out loud, or was Anakin just that good at looking into his heart?
Their tête-à-tête was severed by the entrance of the culprit himself: Prince Humperdinck.
"Ah, the savior appears," Humperdinck sneered, "What a charming scene. Too bad it will be your last!"
Obi-Wan drew back, panic gripping him. He was here. He was here and Anakin was here and Anakin would fight him but Anakin didn't have the Force and Obi-Wan didn't either and the prince was a great swordsman and Anakin was hurt…
"I killed you!" the prince exclaims, eyebrow raised at Anakin's presence.
"I was only mostly dead," Anakin rebutted, sitting up slowly, his hand on the sword across his lap.
Humperdinck drew out his sword and waited for Anakin to meet him.
Anakin raised an eyebrow, but did nothing else.
"You refuse to fight me, then?" the prince asked, "Because you know I will win, of course!"
Anakin snorted derisively.
"I refuse to fight you because I don't need to. I could easily kill you where you stand without lifting as much as a finger. However, I will be honorable and offer to let you surrender."
Obi-Wan looked between them, his fingers finally finding the small blade he had dropped earlier and pulling it behind his back. If Humperdinck approached, he would attack. He couldn't lose Anakin again, even if it meant being killed by this monster.
"Surrender? Ha!" the prince responded, jutting up his chin, "You think you can best me with such tricks? I know you have no powers here, Jedi."
"Oh," growled Anakin, leaning forwards and meeting the prince's eyes, "Don't I?"
The prince coughs, his free hand reaching for his throat.
What was going on? Obi-Wan thought, looking over at Anakin.
Anakin, who had two fingers raised and was glaring at Humperdinck with ominously glowing eyes.
Anakin, who, Obi-Wan suddenly realized, was no longer wearing his Force suppression collar.
Anakin, who was choking the prince to death in a technique forbidden to Jedi. A Sith technique.
"Anakin, no," Obi-Wan croaked, his face pale as he looked on his Padawan, seeing the sheer hate in his eyes.
Obi-Wan put his hand over Anakin's wrist.
"Please, Anakin. Not for him. Please," Obi-Wan begged.
Slowly, Anakin's eyes turned to meet his.
"My brother, please, don't go where I can't follow," Obi-wan pled.
Anakin blinked and the strange light faded.
Humperdinck coughed and Obi-Wan looked over. The prince was red in the face and clutched the sword tightly, murder in his eyes. He stalked forwards and Anakin lifted his blade, sitting up on the edge of the bed.
Then the prince froze, back arching.
He fell to floor with a thump and Obi-Wan could only look down at his body in confusion.
He looked back up, only to see Inigo (of course, why not?), clutching what looked to be a stomach wound, standing over the body. The man's sword was stained with blood.
"He was threatening you, so I thought I would dispatch him. I hope I did not deprive you of your revenge."
Anakin laughed, shaking his head.
Inigo shrugged, sheathing his sword.
"Where's Fezzik?"
"I thought he was with you? In that case," Anakin started to stand and wobbled on his feet.
In an instant, Obi-Wan was helping him stand.
"Just how close to death were you?" Obi-Wan teased, trying to hide his dismay at his Padawan's fragile state despite the Force's return.
"Aw, Master," Anakin said, looking down at him with a crooked grin, "I was only mostly dead."
Suddenly they heard a voice from the open window.
"Inigo! Inigo! Where are you?" Fezzik called. (Him too!)
Inigo ran to the window.
"Oh, there you are! Inigo, I saw the prince's stable, and there they were- four white horses! And I thought there are four of us, if we ever find the Jedi…"
Obi-Wan managed to hoist Anakin over to the window.
"Hello, Jedi!" Fezzik greeted happily. Obi-Wan fought the urge to wave- as if this day could get any stranger.
"So, I took them with me in case we ever bumped into each other. But I guess we just did," Fezzik continued.
"Fezzik, you did something right," Inigo praised.
"Don't worry, I won't let it go to my head," the giant said with a grin.
Fezzik held out his arms and Obi-Wan looked at Anakin incredulously.
"You can't be serious!"
"Don't worry, Master," Anakin grinned, "I'll soften the fall!"
Obi-Wan looked from Anakin to Fezzik and then to the quickly approaching clamor of the guards. He sighed.
"You better," Obi-Wan grumbled, missing the Force for the nth time.
Obi-Wan hoisted himself out of the window and was securely caught by Fezzik's arms.
From the window he could hear Inigo musing.
"You know, it's very strange. I have been in the revenge business so long, now that it's over I don't know what to do with the rest of my life."
"Have you ever considered piracy? You'd make a wonderful Dread Pirate Roberts," Anakin responded.
Obi-Wan sighed.
THE END