Ready to learn - Jimin
I logged into the computer and set myself up for the next half hour. Since I'd started tutoring English, I was working strange hours on top of my study but loving the variety of people I was meeting. The fact I could do it from home around my own schedule and for OK money was a huge pro and I was about to start with a new client.
All I knew was he spoke a little English and he wanted to solely speak in English to learn conversationally which suited me as I only had minimal words in his native language of Korean. I was registered as an English speaking tutor and most people came to me with very few words and left with a whole lot more. Sometimes they even taught me a few phrases from their homeland.
I looked at my cellphone and launched the app to wait for him to ring in which he promptly did on the dot of 9pm. "Hello," I said, greeting the black screen as we connected. "You need to turn your camera on, can you see me?"
"I can see you but mine is not working," came his soft reply, lyrical and quiet.
"That's OK for now, as long as you see me. Seeing my mouth is helpful in sounding the words."
"Your mouth is good. Oh, I, ummmmm. Sorry."
It was disconcerting hearing the voice coming through from the black and I was slightly amused at what seemed like embarrassment at his choice of words but I didn't let it show instead praising him. "You're doing well, lets keep going."
"OK," was another soft reply as I settled in. The brief had been 15 minutes to start with which didn't surprise me. People thought they only knew a few words and could only talk for a few minutes without an embarrassed silence so they tended to start small with just a little increment of time. It didn't bother me, they usually surprised themselves and came back for longer next time.
"So, I have your name as JM. Is that what you want me to call you?" My words were slow and clear, articulating so the pronunciation was easy to follow.
There was a silence. "Ah, my name is Jimin."
"Great, nice to meet you Jimin. Mannasseo bangawoyo," I added, trying to make him feel more relaxed by using a little Korean.
"Nice to meet you, ah, Marley." He stumbled a little, my name often a little harder to pronounce for some countries than others.
"That's perfect. Now, tell me about yourself. What do you like to do?"
"Ummm, I like to sing and dance."
"You have a soft voice to listen to so I'm sure you sing very nicely. And of course, I can't see you but I'm sure you dance well too." I was choosing simple words when what I actually wanted to say was his voice was alluring, somehow it was drawing me in.
He laughed a little at my words, bubbling out and louder than his voice had been so far and I tried to picture the man behind the words. I had no concept of age or what he could look like, my mind wandering to the few Kdrama I had watched, picturing the male lead in them speaking to me through the camera. It made me smile and I had to zone back in when I heard his reply. "People say I can dance good."
"People say you can dance well? It must be true then, maybe I'll see it one day."
At this he laughed a little more and longer and I furrowed my brow. I was obviously missing something. "Yes, maybe one day."
"So, tell me where you're from," I continued, aware our 15 minutes would be up soon but wondering what was the real reason for the black screen. I suspected his camera worked ad that he was just shy.
"I am from Busan but I live in Seoul. For many years now."
"Did you move to Seoul for work?"
"Ah, yes, work. But I travel for work too."
"Do you travel to a lot of English speaking countries?" I wondered if this was why he needed to learn more English. Could he work for a large international country? A travel writer? I had to admit, I was a little intrigued by him, especially as there was just something about his voice.
"Yes, we go to lots of countries now and I do not understand. But Nam..., I mean hyung, he speak English."
He had been about to say someones name and stopped himself, obviously that would've given something away. There was a reason he was keeping himself off camera and I was nosy by nature. But it wasn't my job to know these things, I was paid to just talk.
"Do you have anything you want to ask me? It is almost time up."
There was silence for a few moments, the sound of paper being turned and I wondered if he had a book in front of him to prompt him with words. It didn't matter if he did, people learnt in all sorts of ways and you needed to be comfortable to do it.
"Why you teach English?"
"Oh, that's an easy one. I like it and it works well with what I do for my other job. I am a teacher but studying for my masters."
"I don't understand all but I know teacher. That is a very good job. Here in Korea, people come from all countries to teach English."
"I have thought about it, I can study while I teach in other countries."
"I would love to have you as my teacher in Korea," he said softly again and I blinked at the screen, feeling my cheeks flush a little. With nothing to look at, the words were clearer as was the intention. There was a small amount of flirting going on behind the words, even as he struggled with the language. There was a chuckle then a cough to cover it up and my eyes flashed as I looked into his darkened screen.
"Maybe one day I'll do that. For now, do you want to have some more English practice? You can book it online if you do?"
"Yes I want more. Ah, more English," he continued quickly and I licked my lip at how fast he had replied. "Tomorrow?"
"Oh, ummm, well, yes, I could do tomorrow," I answered. "What time?"
"This time was good. Again?"
"Sure, the same time tomorrow. 15 minutes?"
"No, I want longer."
"You did well, longer will be fine," I answered, my smile genuine. He had stumbled a little but had obviously been picking up English for a few years or practising with an app. Longer wouldn't be difficult for him. And I'd enjoyed it too, he seemed cute.
"OK, yes, we will talk then. Goodbye Marley."
"Goodbye Jimin," I answered and went to hang up the call first. Except he didn't hang up. He clicked the button next to it by mistake, turning the camera on and I watched as a blonde angel, stood up, running his hands through his hair as he did and I instantly knew who he was, hurriedly hanging up from my end before my face gave me away.
The next day
I'd not slept much. How could I when I spent most of the night googling Park Jimin. His voice was undeniable when I heard him talking in interviews and even the very small glimpse I had before he'd turn his back and walked out of the room confirmed it was him. His hair was a different colour to a lot of the photos I found but that was part of his job and I would recognise his lips anywhere.
I hadn't told anyone. At the very least, he was a human being who deserved some privacy. Clearly he was nervous to reveal his face for that reason. And also, I had a code of conduct with my job, sometimes chatting to people in very prestigious roles who needed better English for when they were conducting international deals. I wouldn't be mentioning it to anyone. And deep down I didn't want to. This was a secret just for me. He wanted to learn and I didn't want to put any barriers in his way.
Clock watching all day meant it went incredibly slowly, even with a few other clients to chat to and break up the time. So when 855pm rolled round, I clicked into the right screen and waited, hoping nothing came up to prevent him from logging in. So when the call connected at 9pm I was very pleased that he was prompt because I wanted to hear his voice again.
"Annyeonghaseyo," I greeted the black screen and I heard a chuckle in return.
"Hello Marley, your Korean is better than my English."
"That is definitely not true," I replied, wanting to swoon but holding myself in check. For one thing, this was a business call. And for another, even though my screen was black, his was not and he would be able to see my expression. Even now I wasn't convinced my face was relaxed enough, my eyes likely looked a little weird.
"You look very happy today. Did you have a good day," he asked and I was impressed that he was less shy to speak up than yesterday. Deep down I was also swooning that he had noticed I looked happy.
"I did thank you although time went slowly. What about you? What did you do today?"
"I work most days so some dance practice and some, ummmm, talking to people." He paused before the last bit and I wondered if he had interviews to film, something he would find hard to describe and which also might give him away. I was impressed that he was able to find some words in English to describe it without being obvious.
"You should probably get your camera fixed. When I can see your mouth I can help make sure you are saying the words properly."
"Ah yes, I will ask for it to be fixed," he said softly, a little hesitantly and I knew it would likely be 'delayed' for the whole time we were working together. But that was OK if it was what he needed. Selfishly, I would just like to have seen him up close. I knew it would be a beautiful thing.
"So, why don't you tell me about your family or your pets or your best friends," I said, hedging my bets that he would tell me something that confirmed who he was. Not that I needed it, I knew I was right.
"Oh well, I don't get to see family much as they live in another city. But I see my mem-, my friends every day. We work together too."
"That sounds interesting," I encouraged, "tell me more about a few of them."
"OK. Hmmm," he hummed and I wondered if he was trying to simply phrase sentences or phrase sentences that weren't going to reveal too much. "I have a close friend, he is the same age as me. We went to school here together and he is very, very handsome. He looks like a model."
"I can imagine," I answered, knowing exactly who he was talking about.
"And one of my hyung, he writes for part of his job and his words are very clever. Sometimes he gives the words to me as a gift."
I wondered if he was talking about Yoongi or Namjoon in that moment, both fitting into that category, both having written songs that Jimin could sing and then I knew who it was when he continued. "He spends too much time writing and sometimes forgets to eat."
"I'm sure you remind him when you see him," I answered and he paused.
"Yes, I do love all my friends and want them to be happy and healthy. He gets very tired so I tell him to sleep."
"Your English is very good Jimin, especially when you talk about your friends."
"They are my favourite people," he answered softly and my heart might have exploded a little at how sweet he sounded. And then he turned the questions back on me. "Do you have favourite people?"
The question caught me off guard and I stopped for a moment, looking off to the side as I thought. I knew he could see me and wondered what he was thinking as he watched me toss up how to answer. "I do have favourite people, some close friends. I live alone though, I don't have one favourite person if you know what I mean." My last boyfriend was a few years ago and I had never lived with anyone as anything more than flatmates once I moved out of home. I didn't mind, the peace and quiet could be nice, lonely sometimes but better than settling for someone who didn't love me for me.
"I do," he answered instantly. "I also don't have one favourite person."
Guessing that meant we were talking about his relationship status, he might've been telling me he was single or maybe he was dating lots of different people. But the second option didn't sound right to me.
"Lots of time right? We're young," I answered, lightly touching my cheeks where the temperature had risen on them, clouding the skin with a faint tinge of pink.
"Yes, lots of time," he said and his voice sounded smooth and rich, making me wish I could have seen his face when he said it. "How old are you Marley?"
"I am 26," I answered and I heard his exhale as he went to speak.
"Younger than me, I am 27," he replied, something I already knew when I was googling him all day. I almost answered, 'I know', barely stopping myself in time and I wondered if he had noticed, hurrying to cover it up.
"We are nearly finished, shall we say goodbye now?" I didn't want the chat to end, there was lots I wanted to say and to ask but it was inappropriate so I sighed.
"Oh, yes, that was fast today," he replied and I don't think he realised we'd already gone well past the time we were meant to. His concentration in the foreign language and conversation was already growing and he was much more relaxed today. "Can we again tomorrow, same time?"
"Sure, that works for me and you're doing really well."
"Oh thank you," and I could almost hear him blushing. "Goodbye Marley. Oh, I learned how to say something. Your hair is a pretty colour," he said, voice coming through the black of his screen to make my face light up.
"Oh thank you Jimin, that's very nice of you. I prefer it when it's light. Do you prefer yours light like it is now?" The moment I said it I realised what I'd done, dropping my head to try and think of a way to cover it up, quickly speaking so he wouldn't be able to understand it all, internally kicking myself at my mistake. "Well, it's getting late, I should go, see you tomorrow."
He nodded, reaching his finger to disconnect and then I saw him draw back, hand moving away from the button to run through his hair and he turned his head to stare straight at the screen, my words obviously translating into his brain. "Marley," he said after a pause, "do you know me?"
I cleared my throat, unsure how to answer but needing to be truthful. "Yes I do Park Jimin. If that makes you uncomfortable then you can find someone else to work with but I don't talk to anyone about who I am teaching."
"I like talking to you. I guess now I can turn my camera on since the secrets out," and he reached forward, the black on my screen beginning to lighten until he appeared in front of me, beanie on his head, blonde hair sticking out from under it, bare faced and gorgeous and I breathed out the breath I was holding as he bit his lip at me. His hand came up to give a little wave. "Hello Marley, nice to meet you again."
And I bowed my head, raising it to look him in the eyes. "Very nice to meet you Jimin-ssi."
He laughed a little at the way I said it and I continued talking. "So, does that mean you'll need to get a new tutor?"
"No, no, I am comfortable with you. If it is OK with you to teach me?"
I nodded as I looked at him, taking in how he was now sitting, leaning close so his face filled almost the whole screen. He was very, very good looking and I blushed, unable to speak, struck silent at the way he was looking at me.
"Good, I'd like that," he replied, raising an eyebrow as we just looked at each other for a moment. "So, will you talk again or I do all the talk now," he teased, my tongue well and truly tied even as I thought his broken English was adorable.
"Give me a moment, I'm still processing it all," I said and I don't think he understood all the words but he did their meaning, smirking as he sat back a little in his chair.
"OK, I have time," he said and the look on his face made me realise, this was just the start.