Notorious (PRE)

Gone.

It was just . . .gone.

Mark scanned the top of the fridge once more; Dan's Crunchy Nut, Phil's Cinnamon Squares, Jack's Lucky Charms-

But no Honey Grahm Oh's.

He checked the pantry. Double checked it. Glanced in the fridge, and the mircrowave (lord knows that even after three months - and the Peeps incident - they were sure to check every nook and cranny when a kitchen item was misplaced.)

He scratched his head and gave a little chuff, irritated, but not angry. It wasn't his favourite cereal, but he liked it well enough. Plus, it was an American brand - he had seen it in the special aisle and grabbed it, a fond smile blooming on his face. It reminded him of breakfasts back home, when he was a kid, and could freely converse with Tim and Wilford.

But now it was gone, and Mark's attitude soured a little that he hadn't even eaten more than a single bowl of it.

Bzzzzt bzzzzt. bzzzzzzzt bzzzzt.

Mark fished his phone out of his pocket as it buzzed, not even checking the number. It didn't have a ringtone yet, so unless it was bill collectors, than it had to be none other than-

"Hey Dan; what's up?"

"I'm at the store," the Brit mumbled. Echoes of distorted sounds bouncing off of cold tile floor could be faintly distinguished. "Need anything?"

Mark have a deep sigh. "Uh, yeah, gimme a sec." He went ahead and reassessed the cabinets and refrigerator, while Dan silently continued his shopping on the other end.

"Okay, so we could probably use another set of eggs soon," he picked up the milk cartons, shaking them, "And the lactose free milk is almost gone. The two percent is pretty much full though. I think that's it for basics."

"Hmm," Dan hummed. "Okay. Anything else?"

"Uh," Mark felt bad for asking, but he really does want that cereal. "Can you get me a box of Honey Grahm Oh's? They should be in the American foods section. My box went missing."

There was something, something like a jolt of silence from the other end. Then a softly chuckled swear word, petering into held-back laughter.

Mark furrowed his brow. "What's so funny?"

"I'm sorry - oh my effing- I should have warned you guys; he's notorious for this-"

"For what?" Mark asked, confused.

Dan could be heard, trying to calm his mirth. Mark vaguely got the impression that he was a tad embarrssed, too. "Okay. Okay. So- Phil's home, yeah?"

". . .yes?"

"Okay, good, good," Dan sucked in sharply, awkward laughter threatening to bubble forth. "He's such a bloody idiot," there was no bite in the statement; rather, fond exasperation. "So here's what you'll do: Go down the hall, quietly, to his room, then slam the door open. You can't give him time to hide. There's a good chance you'll find your cereal."

"Are you saying-?"

Dan cut him off. "Just go do it, yeah? I'm gonna finish up the shopping. Oh! And get a pic of you can. Need to record the shame."

He hung up before Mark could reply, and in slight bewilderment, he began his trip to Phil's room, careful to step quietly on the rug in their hall. His footfalls were near silent, and he eased his hand on the doorknob.

Suddenly, the door slammed open and Phil jumped, shrieking, from his spot on the floor. Mark just stood there, watching Phil flail about, face red in surprise and clear embarrassment. On the floor sat the missing box.

". . ."

Mark just walked into Phil's room, picking the box up (almost a third of it already gone). Phil just watched, shuffling guiltily, and munching down on the last bit of cereal in his mouth.

"Mm r'lly s'rry," he mumbled around the mouthful of cereal. And he really was - he had done so good, not touching even Dan's box of cereal for the last few months. But then the urge, the undeniable need latched onto him, and he couldn't help himself.

Dan was right - he really did have a problem.

Mark just sighed, shaking his head. "Next time, please just ask. I don't mind sharing - just don't take someone's whole box of cereal again, please."

Phil nodded.

Mark, and eventually Jack, would come to find that it wouldn't be that simple. And even after Dan's warnings, and reprimanding Phil, it would always happen when they least inspected it.

Too bad Mark didn't get that photo to blackmail him with.