"All is fair in love and war. . .and plants"
". . ."
". . .?"
". . .Phil."
"Uh. . ."
"Phil. What the hell."
Dan rubbed his brow, sighing.
The entire kitchen counter was covered with houseplants - well, not exactly covered, as there were only five colorful pots, containing four succulents and a single bonsai tree. But there was also two heavy pots of some sort of leafy plant in the living room, and a stripey aloe on the kitchen table, against the wall and under the window.
"Phil, it was one thing when you bought Loki, but this? This is too effing many."
"But Dan! C'mon! They'll liven the place up! I'm sure Mark and Jack will agree."
The feeling he got from his best friend was a dry, oh really?
"And who's gonna take care of them? 'Cause it sure as hell won't be me."
A pout. "You're really going to let them die?"
"Hey, you bought them, your responsibility."
". . .The Bonsai is for you, if it's any consolation."
"I'm not gonna argue with you - either find them a new home, or deal with their deaths."
In the end, Phil gave up the four additional succulents, though Dan did take the Bonsai, with a bout of smug fondness.