CHAPTER SEVEN

After that, everything became a blur for Axel. His temperature soared, an intense fever seizing him that had him flickering in and out of consciousness for an unknown period of time. All he knew was that he dreamt of fire the whole way through. He'd dream about it, and wake up feeling hotter than ever.

Dimly he was aware of a hand occasionally touching him – like a chip of ice compared to his scorching flesh – and voices talking, just two of them, sometimes hushed, other times arguing. Roxas was one of the voices, so even when it was raised – "We can't do that, Sora! What the fuck is a hospital going to think about a 122 temp? They'll dissect him for science!" – Axel felt a sense of comfort from knowing he was nearby.

At one point, he became aware that he was being half-dragged, half-carried by two small figures, one of them cursing under his breath in a constant stream, before being dumped unceremoniously into a bathtub full of ice and frigid water. For a moment, he came to life. "Shit!" He flailed, gasping, confused, Roxas there a moment later, holding him, rubbing his arms, for some reason wearing gloves to touch Axel's skin even though they were getting wet. "R-Roxas?" he shuddered, looking around wildly. "Wh-what's going on? Why am I in a bath?"

"It's just a reaction from using your powers," Roxas told him soothingly, as the ice started rapidly melting, the water level rising. Over his shoulder, he yelled, "Sora! Where's that next bag?"

"Shit, already?" Axel let out a small noise when he saw the brown-haired Roxas enter the room.

He raised a feeble hand from the water to point. "I thought I hallucinated you."

"This is Sora," Roxas explained. "He's my twin."

"And I'm not a god like you weirdos," Sora said, before tipping a giant bag of ice that he'd carried in on his shoulder right on top of Axel's naked body.

"Oh, holy fuck!" he howled.

While Roxas was whining, "I'm not a god," he clawed at Roxas's sleeve, shaking his head, trying to get away from the agony of the ice, but despite his gentleness, Roxas held him hard, preventing him from getting away. "It's for your own good," he promised Axel, holding his weak body down with an arm across his chest, pulling the other hand's glove off and pressing it to Axel's forehead, cold and damp. Axel could feel the wooziness coming back over him as the ice rapidly reached room temperature and ceased to bother him. Frustrated, Roxas said, "Bring the next one. I'll let the water down some."

He lifted the plug for a couple of minutes, Axel too out of it to even care that he was balls-out in front of the guy he liked. He kind of felt like they were beyond that at this point, and Roxas was clearly in agreement. When most of the water was gone, he turned the cold tap on and plugged the bath back up, splashing the chilly water over Axel's wincing flesh as it slowly rose. Sora returned with the next bag of ice and without mercy sent it tumbling around Axel's twisting body. One of his hands gripped Roxas's, and Roxas gripped him back, eyes fixed on his face, holding him patiently in place. This happened until he was too exhausted to stay awake for it anymore.

When Axel next opened his eyes, the fever had broken, and he felt like he'd been hit by a bus. He groaned faintly as he awoke, face half-pressed into a black pillow case. He slowly, carefully lifted his head, pain coursing down his neck and through his shoulders, and found himself in a small, monochromatic bedroom that smelled like Roxas. Black curtains were drawn cross the window, blocking the sun's rays like it was a goddamn vampire den. The walls were black with a white accent. There was a white desk, and white wardrobe doors. The bed was black with a white sheet. It was a whole… a whole theme that Axel just wasn't feeling healthy enough to process.

"Roxas?" he called out, sounding like a creature from the deep.

The door opened quickly, letting in some light that he recoiled from in the gloom, Roxas outlined in the frame as he asked, "Axel? You awake?"

It took him a while, but he was able to swallow, clear his throat, and hoarsely reply, "Yeah." Roxas crossed the room in a moment and was sitting on the bed beside him, feeling his face with the fronts and backs of his hands. They still felt a little cool, but Roxas looked relieved. "You're almost completely back to normal." One hand moved to cup his chin, stroking a thumb over one of Axel's tattoos while the other dragged through his sweat-filled hair. He sighed, resting for a moment in Roxas's grasp.

"…I feel like shit," he mumbled. Roxas gave a small, dry laugh.

"I bet you do. I've never seen anything like that before. There was this one guy whose power was ice and he was hypothermic for days after he first used his power, but you… you were nearly singeing your clothing. God… damn it, Axel." He lowered his head, sounding deeply weary. Axel's eyes studied him for a moment, a pale hand rising to touch his cheek. Roxas twisted their fingers together and gave his knuckles a small kiss. "You scared me," he laughed, a hollow sound.

"Sorry," Axel offered. "Guess I didn't know I had it in me." Literally. He had – no idea where that fire had come from. It made no logical sense at all… but the slightly smoky smell that clung to the air of this apartment that he'd accidentally set ablaze told him it had definitely happened. He shakily squeezed Roxas's arm. "Can I get some water?"

"Yeah. Yeah! Of course. Wait here." Roxas was gone again, and Axel dedicated himself to painfully pulling himself upright with every muscle screaming at him. He was sitting by the time Roxas returned, returning to his spot beside him and holding the glass up carefully. "Now, just sip at – " Axel took it from him and downed it in two long gulps.

"More," he rasped, then shook his head in frustration, realising Roxas wouldn't be able to adequately meet his needs. He stuck an arm out, pushing past the blond and clambering to his feet, the act making him feel momentarily light and sparkly before he was able to totter forward, grabbing the door frame and squinting around at the light-filled apartment beyond. Spotting what he was looking for, he made an uneven, shuffling beeline for the kitchen sink in his underwear.

Sora was there, standing beside the stove and dipping a teabag into a mug, eyes wide as he cautiously greeted, "Hi, Axel, how are – oh. Okay." He stopped as Axel turned on the faucet and stuck his head under it, gulping desperately, eyes closed in bliss.

Roxas, following along behind, gestured at him and simply said, "Thirsty."

"Yeah," Sora answered, watching the spectacle as he continued dipping his teabag. "Is he gonna be okay, or…?"

"I'll stop him before he explodes," Roxas assured him, none of which Axel cared about, because goddamn. Whoever invented water should be deified. Hell, they probably were. After another minute, Roxas hit the tap off and held it, anticipating a possible fight. But Axel just panted, bent over the sink, eyes closed, face dripping.

"…That's better," he eventually declared, and everyone relaxed. Roxas let go of the faucet handle while Sora tossed his used teabag into a small bin.

"Nice to officially meet you, Axel," Sora offered, eyes all over his near-naked body. Roxas arched an eyebrow at his twin.

"I'll fucking fight you," he warned, stabbing two fingers at his eyes and then at Axel's body, which was muscled but toned from all the cycling. "You've got your own god. Leave mine alone."

Sora shrugged lightly, blowing on his tea. "That's okay. I've already seen him naked." He went off on his merry way, a smile on his face while Roxas shot daggers at him and went to Axel's side.

"Are you… okay?" Roxas asked, suddenly uncertain and somehow awkward. Eyes still firmly shut, Axel drew a deep breath in through his nose and nodded. It still ached, everything still ached like a bitch, but the little water tank in his belly had been filled and, for now, that was all his body asked of him. "Come and sit." Roxas took hold of his arms and steered him across the apartment, setting him down on the couch that he hadn't set on fire. The smell was still… strong. He finally opened his eyes, taking in the damage. It was kind of a mess. There were scorch marks on the furniture that were never coming out. He had basically wrecked their living room.

"Sorry about… all that," he said, gesturing with his chin.

"Don't even worry about it," Roxas replied dismissively, sitting beside him. "We've already got people on the job. They'll find us some new stuff in no time." Axel hunched over, elbows on knees, gazing out balefully at the damage he had wrought.

"I don't even know how I did it," he said, and there was a hitch in his voice, a sting in his eyes. He didn't… know what exactly it was that he'd become. All he knew was there was no going back. He sniffed hard, scrubbing his eyes roughly. "Fuck. Look at me."

"Shut up," Roxas said, and drew him into his arms. The angle was kind of awkward because of the height difference, but even so, Axel spent a peaceful minute hugged to his chest, listening to the beat of his heart.

Eventually, though, he had to admit, "This kind of hurts."

"Oh!" Roxas let him go instantly, Axel sitting up, shifting back, and this time being the one to pull the other close. He enfolded Roxas in his arms, still slightly too warm, but nice, by the looks of it, by Roxas's standards. He supposed it probably felt cosy. Thank fuck it wasn't summer.

With Roxas in his grasp, Axel simply let himself drift for a while. He was still bone-weary, and his body longed for nothing more than more rest, more sleep, after having housed actual fire within itself. But this was a rare moment's refuge in amidst all the chaos that had been occurring lately, and he intended to take it for all it was worth. He snuggled Roxas closer, inhaling his scent, savouring the feel of him in his arms. The kid who could be anywhere, anytime he wanted, was right here with him. Whatever came next, at least he had this.

It was Roxas who eventually broke the embrace, pulling gently away, giving him a small, regretful smile. "Getting a little too warm." Axel blinked, lowered his head and nodded.

"Yeah. Right. Fire god!" He did jazz hands without looking up.

"Are you holding up okay?" was Roxas's first question, for which Axel just… wanted to kiss him. He sniffed again and shrugged.

"I don't know. I guess? I mean, what's the alternative, right?" He smiled thinly, Roxas giving a small wince of shame.

"I never… thought this far ahead," he admitted apologetically. "Sora spent a while chewing me out for my… choices. And he's right. He's completely right. I fucked you over completely." Axel acknowledged this for a moment, the fact that Roxas awakening him out of a desire to keep him from The Bad Guys had led directly to this moment, the flames long-faded from his veins but the aftershock of it hanging in the air like the stench that it was. He had actually almost been in some kind of… godlike smackdown.

But on the other hand, it had introduced him to Roxas. And it gave Demyx a chance. Because as long as he was a target of Ansem, Xemnas, whoever - Axel would fight to protect him. "…How'd you know to evacuate me when you did?"

Roxas was quiet, then said, "I was following you." When Axel started to stiffen, he rushed to say, "Not on any orders of Ansem! I was just…" As Axel relaxed again, cautiously, he sighed. "I was keeping an eye on you? Sometimes, I don't know, Ansem…" He pinched his lips together. "But it's not my place to say." He flashed Axel a crooked smile. "I'm just a messenger, right?"

Axel startled him by grabbing him by the neck of his hoodie and yanking him in for a hard kiss. He then shoved him slightly, stating firmly, "There's nothing 'just' about you." Roxas's eyelids fluttered for a moment. "You saved me. You do know that I was totally fucked back there, right?" He meant it with every fibre of his being. He had no idea how fucking gods fought; all he had discovered was how to make random things burst into flame. It would have at best served as a distraction before either Riku minced him with his ocean powers, or Ansem twisted his existence like a used napkin.

"…I saw the flash of your fire. The first one. That's when I knew to come when I did," Roxas told him, still looking a little dazed by the sudden kiss. But then his gaze sharpened and he became mockingly disapproving. "I didn't expect you to set fire to my apartment."

"Our apartment," Sora called out from nearby, the two of them twisting to see the guy leaning in the door to his room clasping his mug of tea. How long he'd been there, no one but Sora knew.

"If you don't mind," Roxas gritted out, "we are over here having an adult conversation? Without you?"

Sora raised his eyebrows, nodding in agreement. "Oh, I know. A very 'adult' conversation."

"You fucking voyeur! What, do you jack off outside people's doors when they're having sex, too?" Roxas yelled, tossing one of the surviving couch cushions at him with force.

"Motherfucker!" Sora's tea got sloshed all over his shirt. "You goddamn son of a bitch!"

"I'm telling her you said that," Roxas screeched back, as Sora took a stomping step back and slammed the door to change out of his wet clothes. "Bastard," he muttered, determined to have the utmost last word.

"I'll tell her you said that," Axel commented, with a small, wry smile. Roxas turned wide eyes to him, suddenly remembering they had had an audience.

"Oh, my god. Please, never tell our mother about any of this," he pleaded urgently. "No one else knows about our lives. Like, about this part of our lives, I mean. Obviously, our mother knows about our lives, since we, you know, we, uh." He inhaled sharply and popped his lips. "I'm going to stop talking now."

"So… you're saying I'm going to be meeting your Mom?" Axel teased, Roxas instantly blushing and narrowing his eyes to slits.

"Keep that up and it's in question."

Axel grinned and nudged his face towards Roxas. "What about bribery? Does that work?"

Roxas made a show of thinking about it. "A… mighty god, bribing a lowly messenger…? Think of the optics."

"The optics," Axel said with pointed delicacy, "can go fuck themselves." He kissed Roxas deeply, the blond rocking back, fingertips against Axel's cheeks. As the kissing continued, those fingertips started creeping downward, tracing his throat, tickling his clavicle, drawing an experimental line down his sternum, as at almost at the same time they both became acutely aware that he was sitting out here in nothing but his underwear. Axel bit his lip and huffed as Roxas walked his fingers down towards his navel.

"Oh, would you give it a rest," Sora complained, slapping past in red boxer shorts, an oversized Mickey Mouse t-shirt, and Donald Duck-themed flip-flops while sucking on a lollipop. The pair froze mid-kiss, the passion absolutely gone, a rapid knocking at the door causing them to spring apart, the only one not reacting being Sora, who grumbled, "Okay, okay." But the moment he opened the door, he was a transformed individual, full of smiles and sweetness, jumping into the arms of whoever was on the other side.

"So-ra," Roxas called out threateningly, starting to rise from the couch. "You did not –"

Riku burst through the door with Sora calmly bringing up the rear. He locked the door while Riku jammed a finger at Axel and snarled, "You! Get out of here!" Sora silenced him with the lollipop, jamming it between his teeth and leaving it there. He kissed Riku's cheek.

"What," he asked, "is my rule?"

Riku looked to him with saucer-like eyes. He grabbed the lollipop stick and started, "Sora –"

"What's my rule?" Sora demanded, hands on his hips this time, gazing defiantly up at the other man, who, to Axel's utter astonishment, was now grappling for words.

"No – you see, it's not – we only just – we need –"

"All you need is me," Sora told him simply, taking back the lollipop and returning it to his own mouth. "Or has that changed?"

Oh, so today wasn't just Roxas's turn for blushing. Riku turned a shade of crimson that Axel wasn't sure he'd even seen before. After a long, long pause, Riku very haltingly said, between his teeth, as Axel watched on in absolute amusement, "Your rule. Sora. Is that no Godly matters."

"God shit," Sora corrected, waving his lollipop to hurry him along.

"…God shit. Is allowed. In your apartment."

The way Sora beamed, it was like the sun coming out. Even Axel was a little dazzled. After Sora had planted a rewarding kiss on Riku's mouth, he placed him in the armchair beside Axel and Roxas, and said, "Welcome home, honey."

Axel looked at Roxas with wide eyes, but Roxas shook his head. "He doesn't actually live here. That's just their nauseating thing that they do in public," he said with gaining volume, turning his head slowly, "even when other people are present, Sora, my brother, my twin, you fucking twink."

"Oh, and who was just rutting out for all to see with their boyfriend who set fire to the living! Room! Roxas!" Sora loudly replied. "The same boyfriend I helped you cool down, because of your constant refusals to seek medical help, which is the normal thing to do when he's so hot to touch it literally stings."

"Oh, he's hot, all right," Roxas said with a deliberate leer. "And you might have seen him naked, but I've seen Riku naked, and let's see, what can I say that hasn't already been said for itself?"

"You saw Axel naked?" Riku asked Sora. Then, turning incredulously to Roxas, "And also, excuse the fuck out of me?"

"Uh, Roxas…" Axel murmured, tense and ready to fight or run, but so confused he couldn't think straight. "What is – happening?"

Sora made himself comfortable on Riku's lap and said, "It's the house rule. I'm the only one here who's not either a reincarnated god or a 'godly messenger', whatever that is," he said with a sharp glance at Roxas that said that was a well-trod ground for the two of them, "so I made the rule that wherever I live, none of that god shit is allowed." He sighed and looked at Axel, honestly bemused. "And then you turned up."

"Yeah, about that," Riku attempted, before being silenced by Sora's forefinger on his lips. Goddamn, Axel could see who wore the pants in that relationship.

"Whatever that crusty fuck Ansem says, this here is truly neutral ground," he said, his voice ringing with the strength of his words. Hell. You didn't need to make this kid a god to make him effective. Also, Axel approved of the term 'crusty fuck' to describe Ansem so, so much. He was glad to know where Sora sat politically, at least. "Since that neutrality has been… ehh, compromised," he said, with an apologetic glance Riku's way, "what we're gonna do is sit here and discuss this, like rational men." He held up a finger. "If anyone, at all, starts the god shit, Roxas is under strict orders to banish them to the nearest dumpster. And so, gentlemen," he said, in a way that really would have been more impressive if he wasn't wearing the flip-flops and sitting in some guy's lap, "you may begin your… talking."

The rules having been apparently laid, Riku, with forced calm, asked, "Why is Axel in your apartment, and why didn't you tell me sooner than today that he was here?" He shot Sora a hard look. "I can smell the old smoke, Sora. He's been here since… then." His eyes darted to Axel with some animosity, but, bound by the house rule, he wasn't able at this point to continue where they left off. "Hasn't he?"

"Yes," Sora said, truth evidently a big part of this… unofficial ceasefire deal he had going on. "Roxas brought him here, he set a cushion on fire, and then passed out for three days."

"It's been three days?" Axel asked with dismay, realising he hadn't been in to work without a single fucking word since he ditched the other day.

"…Yes," Riku answered him tensely, then said, "You've been reported missing, you should know."

"To the police?!" Axel buried his face in his hands.

"Hey, while we're on the subject, why have you been in my boyfriend's apartment for three days in your goddamn underpants?" Riku demanded.

Sora lightly smacked him in the chest. "Stop that," he scolded. "You know he's Roxas's." He looked him deep in the eyes. "And that you're mine," he added sweetly, with a tender kiss that had Roxas rolling his eyes. You could pretty much see Riku melt to putty in Sora's palm.

"…It was your friend, Demyx, who reported it," Riku said, distractedly. "All that considered, it seems he's unaware that you're also a reincarnated god yet. Xemnas would never let him report you otherwise."

"Actually, I think you can be pretty damn sure he'd have reported it, regardless," Axel suggested tightly. Riku sighed.

"You don't know the truth of it."

"So, enlighten us," Sora encouraged him, cupping his face. Riku looked uncertain.

"But… your rule…"

Sora drew a breath, then shrugged and sighed. "Well, it's pretty fucked now, isn't it? If I'm in, I may as well be in all the way. Oh! But – still no god power shit in the house," he quickly reminded everyone, making eye contact with each person to make sure they got it. When that was confirmed, he allowed Riku to continue. No powers. Check.

"Well, like Ansem told you, Xemnas is not just a reincarnation of the god Xehanort," Riku explained over Sora. "He is a vessel for Xehanort, the actual, slumbering god. It was Xehanort's last plan, I guess, when the gods decided to begin their death cycles. He was outvoted, but he wasn't going to go along like everyone else. He was able to fool his siblings by employing a series of vessels over the years, which meant that by the time they were already significantly diminished by their various mortal cycles, he maintained full power. Now," he said, grimly, "Xemnas says he's tired of waiting and that the time has come to take humanity back for the gods. Since none of us can stand against him alone, because of the power difference, we were going around trying to wake as many reincarnations as we could find –"

"As I could find," Roxas pointed out loudly, Riku hesitating only slightly before sighing and moving on.

" – as Roxas could find to increase our numbers against Xemnas."

"But then some of them started joining Xemnas," Roxas said, shaking his head with a disappointed look. "They liked the idea of being powerful again."

"Which is," Riku resumed, "why we had basically come to an agreement to stop waking people, because the recruitment drive…"

"'Was going to shit', you can say it," Roxas said brightly.

Riku shot him a sour look. "You haven't exactly made things easy, you know," he bristled, Sora placing a calming hand on his arm.

"I've… explained to Axel why I did what I did," Roxas replied defensively, "and he seems… okay with it."

Axel lifted a hand. "Ah. Not totally okay with it."

"…Sort of okay with it."

"Will you just – will someone please get him a shirt?" Riku asked, glancing at the far wall. "This is like trying to not look at cleavage."

"Oh?" Axel perked mischievously. "Am I… affecting you, Riku?" He undulated his bare torso and hovered his hands near his nipples, which was when Roxas reached up and clamped them, hard, and quietly said, "Not in front of me." Axel squeaked slightly. Okay, so it was… it was a familial thing.

"Is there a shirt I can wear?" he asked, voice choked. Roxas stood up, unzipped from the room, was gone a moment, then was back. He tossed a white tee at Axel. "Found it at the top of the hamper."

"My hamper, right?" Axel rhetorically asked, already slipping into the familiar comfort. Now that Riku could look him in the eye without distraction, there was a brief jumble as they tried to figure out where they'd been up to.

"Well, anyway, Roxas decided to fuck it all up by waking you without direction," Riku finally concluded aggravatedly.

"Hey, whoa," Roxas spoke up indignantly, "nothing was fucked, okay, until Ansem introduced him as 'Hey, guess what, this is the guy who's going to help you all kill his best friend!'"

"'Nothing was fucked' my ass," Riku argued back. "Ansem was doing his best to try and justify your fuck-up to the group, and then he's the one who was all 'if you don't let me join you, I'll join the enemy' on us."

"You said that?" Roxas asked Axel, frowning deeply.

Axel blinked rapidly, not having expected to be the one suddenly under scrutiny. "Oh. Well, I did. But only because Ansem was refusing to take me and let Demyx live."

"And that's worth serving Xehanort to you?"

Axel's brows dropped. "…Yeah, it is."

Roxas stared at him for a long moment. "…You really don't understand," he mumbled, then was on his feet and out of the room, his bedroom door opening and closing behind him.

Axel turned to Sora and Riku helplessly. "You wouldn't join the enemy to save your best friend's life?" he demanded.

Riku looked uncomfortable. "Look, Axel… The thing about Xehanort, is, him being a god that is capable of possession, he's able to… use others. And the people that he uses – they cease to be. They're just… more vessels to him. More versions of him."

Despite the heat of his powers still glowing under his skin, Axel felt a chill at Riku's words. …Not Demyx. There was no way that Demyx was gone and some evil god was wearing his skin like a suit. "But, but he reported me missing," he reminded them faintly.

"So maybe… Xemnas does know about you," Riku reluctantly suggested. "Maybe he figured you out, and he's… anxious to find you first."

"Another potential vessel," Sora murmured, Riku nodding uneasily. Axel's gaze took on a thousand-yard stare, a deeply troubled, pained look on his face as he attempted to puzzle this out. He then twisted his head to the side, like it was being pulled, and he was shaking it firmly.

"No. Not Demyx."

"You can't take on Ansem, Axel," Riku warned him, sounding actually sympathetic. "And you definitely can't take on Xemnas, not if you want to stay – you." He met Axel's gaze straight-on. "You have to ask yourself if you're willing to die for a puppet. And that's what's upsetting Roxas. You just chose death for the dead, instead of wanting to live with him." Sora rubbed his arm affectionately, happy to see things being worked out with words.

Axel, on the other hand… was crumbling. "But, Demyx is… he can't be…" His hands started shaking, tears starting to fill his eyes.

Everyone jumped as Roxas's door slammed back open. He stalked out, took the tearful, confused Axel by the hand, and dragged him back to his room. He slammed the door again, and before Axel knew what was happening, Roxas was wrapping his arms around him. "I'm sorry about your friend," he said in a trembling voice. Axel clutched him, grief and disbelief striking him hard.

"Not Demyx, though," he repeated, a crack in his voice.

"They got him thinking he was going to help restore them to some – old-timey glory days where people worship them or whatever. He promises them power, and fame, and adoration. That's how he lures them in," his words started wobbling here, started breaking, "and I don't want you to end up like one of them." He sniffed, pressing his wet face into Axel's shirt.

"…Did you just wipe your nose on me?" Axel asked. Roxas laughed into his chest. He cradled Roxas in his arms, like he was holding something precious, arching so that he could place his nose in his hair, which had rapidly become one of his favourite places to be.

"I won't become one of Xehanort's puppets," he promised in a murmur. "But I'm telling you: Demyx is still Demyx. I'll prove it you. Let me prove it to you," he pleaded softly.

There was a long pause, but then Roxas drew his head back and sighed. "You really aren't going to get it until you see it, aren't you?" Axel wasn't happy to hear it put that way, but Roxas nodded, nonetheless. "Okay. We'll go see Demyx. You'll see. You'll see what I mean." He said it hopelessly. He said before that they'd lost people to Xemnas. That Yuffie chick at Ansem's tower had mentioned 'defection'. It was all making sense now. Ansem considered Axel nothing but cannon fodder for Xemnas, which was why he preferred to just kill him and get it over with. Understanding it was almost enough to make him begin feeling forgiving on the matter. Almost.

But that was only operating on the assumption that everyone on Xemnas's side was some sort of – Xehanort puppet. And he just refused to believe it. Not Demyx.

Not Demyx.