Chapter 54
Rory really didn't want to be making this call. Yet she looked at herself in her bedroom mirror, trying to talk herself into both just getting it over with and convincing herself how making the call wasn't really a necessity, thinking of it like going to the dentist.
She was saved by the ring of the phone. Sort of.
"Logan? I thought we weren't calling until later," Rory replied, picking up the call at the second ring.
"You busy?" Logan asked, sounding slightly surprised.
"Nah, it can wait," Rory said.
"Theo wanted us to play some game later, figured I'd give you an early call tonight," Logan explained. It was his way of putting his kids first - the little things mattered, and he knew partly the reason his son had asked him in the first place was because he missed his brother. Sure, sometimes they played the games they'd spent their summer playing over the internet, but Liam did have a lot of homework. Yale was hard - even if Liam hadn't quite believed Logan when he'd first warned him about it.
Rory let out an acknowledging chime, feeling both a little relieved for getting to delay the call she'd been meaning to make and disappointed to lose out on some more intimate pillow talk with Logan later when she was in bed, even if that didn't always lead to phone sex as such. She just assumed Logan and Theo would be gaming until late instead - besides, it wasn't the first time.
To Rory it still felt like Logan was right there with her whenever he called, giving her the emotional boost she got from being physically around him. They were old enough to know that intimacy wasn't just about being in the same room together. And fantasizing as they fell asleep, sometimes forgetting to disconnect the call, even just about being in the other's arms was a pretty good cure for loneliness.
"I'll make it up to you next week, I promise," Logan replied, making good use of his husky voice to charm her.
"Ah, it's not that. Well, that too… I can't wait to see you," Rory replied, blabbering a little.
"Well, what is it then?" Logan asked, sensing she had something else on her mind.
"Oh, just… Tucker's being difficult. I've been gathering up energy to call him," Rory shared.
"Oh?" Logan encouraged, feeling equally curious and annoyed with the guy he knew very little about. But then again Logan was under no obligation to like any of Rory's exes.
"Nothing new, just switching around the schedule as he pleases. And I mean it's not even about having Corinne here when you come, it's just that he can just do that. Snap his fingers and expect me to jump, god… it makes me so mad," Rory exclaimed.
"It should," Logan reflected, finding it refreshing this anger in her was finally surfacing. He was more than happy to help put this guy into place, or help her do it, however she saw fit.
"What?" Rory replied, having not expected him to just say that. To urge her to be mad like that. Logan, while he had his own share of issues with his ex-es tended to be the calm and gathered type most of the time, looking for the most peaceful solution, at least on the surface.
"That guy's obviously bad news and he doesn't deserve the way you treat him," Logan replied.
"He's still Cor's dad, that doesn't depend on his likability. I have to get along with him," Rory said, stating the obvious.
"Yes, as is Odette in my case. But I don't have to get along with her. Her relationship with Eléa is not dependent on her relationship with me. If necessary, get the lawyers involved to make that happen. Sometimes it is just necessary to put the emotions aside and treat it as…as horrible as it sounds… as business," Logan explained reluctantly.
"That's not the way I like to do things," Rory replied.
"So, I've understood, yes," Logan reflected, realizing that all he really had to base that on was her stories, not so much experiences. They hadn't known each other for very long and in some ways, it was a much-needed reality check. There were many things they didn't know about each other, despite having lived these past months as if they had. Or maybe this just meant that they knew every part of each other that truly mattered?
"Ah, I don't want to argue," Rory exhaled, not liking getting riled up just because she and Logan didn't do things the same way. They didn't need to, there was more to a relationship than having to solve problems exactly the same way. What mattered was that one was satisfied with the outcome themselves, and the other respected their decision.
"I just mean… I mean what's the worst he would do if you just said 'no' for once?" Logan shot the question in the air in a carefree manner, ignoring the knowledge he had of the 'something' the guy held over her. Surely, he wouldn't waste his only ammo on something trivial like a change of plans?
"Ha-ha," Rory chimed sarcastically. "And I have said 'no' before. It's not like I can do things the way he wants me to every time. I have a life, you know," Rory defended herself, but it was not Logan she needed to convince.
"And I don't doubt that," Logan agreed, supportively.
"How are the kids doing at school?" Rory asked, after a deep breath, wanting to push the comfortable topic aside.
"Okay, I guess. Almost no complaining this week," Logan replied, a hint of sarcasm in his tone, indicating how there'd been a lot in the earlier weeks and of which he'd also told Rory about.
"That's good. They're accepting the inevitable, I guess," Rory reflected casually.
"Well, that's a hard sell. They know how the location isn't inescapable. There's always the possibility of us being persuaded to move somewhere else at some point… for better schools, better weather…," Logan discussed, trying to hint ever so slightly that he too was painfully missing Rory.
They both knew that picking up their kids just like that was easier said than done. Sure, they weren't toddlers or pre-teens anymore, but the loss of friends and readjustments were still an issue. Rory knew that first hand when she'd picked up Corinne and moved her to Hartford. Every time she spent time in Boston, Rory kept thinking whether she resented her for it in some ways. Corinne didn't show it, but Rory could tell her daughter missed Boston sometimes.
"What exactly are you saying?" Rory asked, having a pretty good guess already that he was hinting at moving closer to her. He'd flirted with the idea before - a lot of such ideas, in fact.
"All I am saying is that…," Logan inhaled, and just let it pour out of him. "Whatever this thing is that Tucker has on you… you do have options. I'm not going to stop loving you or think badly of you if you have a few skeletons in your closet or if they happen to come out. Everyone has stuff in their past. I know what things like that can be like and I cannot think of a scenario where it might influence us. I want you to know that you won't be solely defined by your career in its current form if that's what you're worried about. If all else fails I'll help you build yourself up - with writing or something else. If there's one thing, I can help you with it is connections. Just trust me, that things are going to be fine no matter what," Logan assured.
Rory was momentarily taken aback by the length and depth of his declaration. In that moment an assurance like that - something as simple as 'things are going to be fine' beat so many other romantic gestures she'd gotten in her life.
"I love you, Logan," Rory exhaled, not bothering to say anything else back, her tone speaking for itself.
They ended the call not too much later, and Rory was left floating almost as if in a protective bubble. Now, making the call to her ex-husband didn't seem that horrible anymore.
"This is Tucker Culbertson; I cannot come to the phone right now. Please leave a message and I'll get back to you as soon as possible," his voice said as Rory called, causing her to groan to herself and disconnect the call. She'd been eager to get it over with.
On his voice message like that, Tucker truly showed that side of him that Rory had loved. He had been sweet and thoughtful, but Rory did remember that at the same time there had been only a certain depth that he'd ever understood her. When she thought about Logan, however, there was almost no depth to the unconditional nature of their relationship. Rory realized it might just be an illusion, this early in the relationship, but the way she felt supported by Logan, the way he kept assuring her that he wasn't going anywhere didn't make this relationship feel that fresh and it was easy for her to forget sometimes.
But just as she was ready to place her phone down and just push the thought aside, assuming the guy was unavailable or even avoiding her call, her phone rang again, putting her right back in that position and slightly catching her off guard as she'd already began to think of sweeter things concerning Logan.
"You called?" Tucker said. He didn't sound mad but still, definitely more casual than happy to hear from her.
"Um.. yeah," Rory gathered herself. "About tomorrow," Rory began, wishing she'd find that former courage in her again that she'd just lost by thinking about Logan.
"You have plans next week or something?" Tucker asked, innocently. But Rory couldn't help herself to think that he'd intentionally said that. There was a fine line between him being intentionally oblivious and sneaky.
Rory realized that a white lie might actually go down better than the truth and drive for fairness. But that was just too close to avoiding conflict like she did most of the time.
"Yeah, actually I do," Rory replied. "And I mean, I am all for flexibility in our schedules, but this was a little short notice, don't you think?" she added more sternly.
"I just wanted to ask if Cor wanted to go to Springfield with me. Where's the harm?" Tucker replied.
"There's no harm, no," Rory replied in her teacher voice. "But you cannot just assume that I'm fine by these changes by default and communicate them to me through her like I'm just supposed to accept them," she added.
"Look, I'm sorry," Tucker replied, casually.
Rory didn't believe the apology to be terribly sincere.
"Can we just stick to the original plan? Or would you rather make arrangements to take her two weekends in a row?" Rory suggested, feeling annoyed.
Tucker's tongue tutted and Rory knew that was generally followed by an outburst of some sort. She wasn't wrong.
"Just so you could hang out with your precious boyfriend?" Tucker exclaimed in a condescending tone.
"Yeah, so?" Rory shot back.
"That's all you care about your daughter? You really need to sort out who's the priority for you, Rory?" Tucker replied.
"Excuse me, but if Cor was the priority for you, you wouldn't be trying to control my life by treating me like this. I am sure Corinne would much rather have two parents who actually could communicate in a normal manner," Rory explained.
"Pot calling the kettle black…," Tucker snorted.
"Is it your mission for me to get lawyers involved?" Rory exclaimed, unsure where that had just come from. That threat had never been her intention.
"Oh, just you wait," Tucker warned.
"Wait for what? To see whether you get a lawyer better than me?" Rory shot back, in this moment seriously just wanting to annoy him enough to get him to say it. Did he even still remember having something more on her than just empty threats?