Erin looked around at the people about her, she felt useless and unable to help anyone further. Each had their tasks, she felt like the odd one out, and in fact, she knew she was.
She glanced over at Cora, Alice still wrapped in her arms. Cora sensed her and looked up, their eyes connecting, a note of apology requested and given back without effort. Erin understood Cora only wanted to shield her little sister, but even Erin had to admit, sometimes that fierce protection was verging upon stifling, no matter the good intent behind it. Perhaps once this was over and they'd lived through what was to come, Cora would come to understand Alice had her own wills and wants, her own path to lead.
Alice was still, her eyes closed, head nestled against her sister's shoulder. The candy had been consumed with patience and much coaxing. Erin didn't know if Alice would believe Cora's words, if she would come to understand Erin had only been trying to help, or if she would truly see everything Erin had done as a deep betrayal. She knew she had to bear it, that weight of clear dislike and mistrust, she had no other choice, the past could not be changed. The unpleasant thought lingered in Erin's mind as she watched the quiet scenes about her, that she really had betrayed Alice Munro, but not in the way the young woman thought, she had betrayed her very destiny. Erin didn't know if that would ultimately be for the better or the worse, only time would tell, and time, once again, was ticking by.
After a moments hesitation she left the large cave, in search of some respite in a friendly face. Someone who would at least be somewhat gladdened to be in her company, even if only to strategize their next move. She made her way back up the steep slippery path. After a short time she came upon a squatter and longer cave trailing off slightly from the main path, it jutted out at an angle, the water less of a constant torrent. It was quieter and had a good vantage angle to the river beyond. The perfect lookout point. She knew this was where Uncas would be.
This smaller cave looked like it had once been directly in the falls' path but had been worn away and hollowed through hundreds of years of constant water, the rock smoothed and beaten. Uncas' dark figure sat at the far end, mostly concealed in an overhang of rock and shadow. He had removed his musket and it rested upright against the craggy wall nearby.
Erin paused, fearing to enter for a moment. She shivered, feeling the weight and meaning this cave had, and more importantly that she shouldn't really be the person alone here with Uncas.
He noticed her and distractedly indicated with a hand gesture where he wanted her to be, too engrossed in his current task of keeping watch to pay her much mind. Erin slowly sat, bringing her knees up to her chest as she wiped a few drops of stray water from her chin. She gave a loud sniff which only half drew his attention for a brief second before he returned to his vigil.
Erin reached for her skirts, they were heavy and wet, the linen soaked through in some places. She wrung out the water as best she could before turning her attention to the bandages upon her hand, which were clinging on by, what seemed, sheer force of will alone. She removed the soggy material, wincing only a little as the injury gave her a sharp painful reminder that it was still healing. The skin was raw and pink, but seemed to be faring well despite the situation.
The silk wound around her forearm was holding up, it was damp but seemed relatively clean. Erin decided she would leave it well enough alone, she could do without adding any further worries to her current situation. She touched her cheek softly, her finger pads finding the thin cut and tracing it very gently. It felt bigger than it probably was. She rubbed gingerly at her collar bone and shoulder, the skin was a little tender where Alice had landed a few good blows, Erin vaguely wondered if it had left any bruises.
She sniffed again and huddled her arms around her legs, trying to gain warmth back into her body, and realized Uncas hadn't moved or really acknowledged her at all, bar that first look and gesture indicating where she should sit.
The sudden seeming silence of this area felt almost as deafening as the roar of the big waterfall in the cave below them.
Lowly, Erin cleared her throat, trying to make him pay her some attention. When he didn't seem moved by her little dramatic passive aggressive attempts, she fell back upon words. "We have a few hours maybe, then the Huron will come and find us." Her voice was so stark in this place that it made her wince. "In the historical accounts it said they came a few hours after sunset, and the sun just set, so..." Her eyes lingered upon the fast coming twilight that now pervaded through the water, turning golden light to silver. "We have an hour, maybe two."
His head made a movement that wasn't quite a nod, but accepted her words as true.
"You do realize we're trapped here?" Erin said, a little annoyed that he wasn't understanding the gravity of this situation, and that he had not seemingly welcomed her presence with open arms and a kind smile. "It would have been better if we'd found another way to go," she grumbled.
"No other way." He was cold in his manner, and she got the distinct feeling he was unwilling to offer her any comfort in response to their current predicament.
Erin reached for any conversation starter as the atmosphere began to feel strained. "Alice thinks I conspired to kill her father."
His brow flickered briefly with a frown at this information, but he didn't look at her or offer any conversation on the matter.
"I might have turned her into a complete basket case!" She threw out the cruel words in hope he would react, but he didn't, eyes ever set to his calm watch.
"Okay..." Erin mumbled under her breath, not understanding his current mood. "So, what now?" she asked, starting to feel very uncomfortable, and absently plucking stray threads of silk from her bandaged forearm in growing anxiety.
"Wait." Uncas was short in his reply, and for a moment Erin felt like they had reverted back to those first few days she'd known him, how clipped and stand-offish he was, giving only one word answers. Back to a time he hadn't cared who she was, or what she had to say, just a stranger.
He'd been so tender before when he had seen she was hurt, and now it felt like he was freezing her out.
"What's wrong? Did I do something to make you mad?"
His gaze was focused beyond the water, watchful and alert, but at her question his eyes flicked to her. She could could see a vague hint of resentment glowering in his quick glance, before he went back to watching.
"Well I guess one more person pissed at me won't matter!" she huffed, and then reeled herself back from running headlong down a path of being melodramatic. "Will you just tell me?" She tried to keep her voice calm but her heart fluttered in a tiny roil of panic. She could withstand anyone being against her in this moment, but not him.
For a long agonizing moment nothing was said.
"My brother told me, he will guide you back home, once this..." Uncas hesitated, failing to find the words. "Is done," he settled simply.
Erin saw plainly that Nathaniel had saved her the job of starting an awkward conversation, but she did not thank him for it. "When did he tell you that?"
"At the fort. After Heywood took you to the Colonel," Uncas said, eyes still looking out into the wilds of the land beyond, even though her petulant thoughts reminded her she'd just told him they were safe for a few hours.
Her mind spitefully thought he was acting like a moody idiot, while a ringing alarm went off in her head. She'd been in this position so many times in her previous relationship that it had almost become second nature to react to the merest hint of silent distemper, knowing that would grow and become an argument, and if she wasn't ready for it, she would be left, heart wounded and desperate, gasping out placating words that would just make the quarrelling stop.
Well, she would be ready...
Erin gathered her arms closer to her body in an act of mental fortification, her own annoyance bristling at the thought he was furious with her. She looked back up at him, ready for battle, expecting to see his own fury ready to clash against hers, but was a little surprised to see he held no tale of anger in his body, and with a deflating of her own ego, Erin began to form some kind of understanding. He wasn't part of her past life, and she had no right to treat him as if he was. With a sharp pang of guilt, she understood, he was hurt. He'd bared so much to her in those cells and she'd repaid him by being too faint hearted to be honest with him. She'd asked him to trust her and then hadn't given him the same courtesy.
Erin realized he'd had to bottle up anything he felt about all this since their last meeting. They hadn't had a chance to talk once she'd been taken to Munro's, and when they had met again, it had been in a frantic race for survival. Most of all, in this moment, Erin was sorry that she hadn't told him herself. It hadn't felt like there was time, but if she was honest, she'd had plenty of chances to tell him, she just hadn't wanted to.
She'd enjoyed his attention, his care, the feeling of having someone beside her. No matter how she protested and told herself it was a silly daydream, the prospect of him having feelings for her in any way... thrilled her. Maybe she'd hoped they would just carry on flirting away, energy flickering between them until... until what?
'Selfish.' Her mind pushed up the fitting word and she turned away from him, ashamed, but she rallied her will, knowing she had to face this now, just as she'd have to face Alice later. She couldn't change what had been said, it was already done.
She sighed lowly, gaze slowly traveling back to him. "I have to go home. I wanted to tell you before but-"
His eyes were upon her again for a moment, the look stern, reprimanding, then back to his watch. "You could have lied." He spoke with a careless nonchalance that didn't match his tense body language. "You are good at it."
That was meant to hurt and Erin felt it twist like a knife in her side. "That's not fair!" She felt like a child fighting back against a scolding.
She saw the muscles in his jaw clench then loosen and knew he agreed, neither of them was being fully reasonable. Silence again before he seemed to find something more to say. "You should have been honest."
"Okay. That is fair," Erin relented, with another sigh. "I'm sorry I didn't tell you, I should have just told you right from the start. I don't really belong here. I think you know that too." She paused, eyes searching his dark outline, hoping for some sense of comprehension. "My family is there, my friends... my life... it's back... or forward... there." Erin didn't feel she was doing a very good job of explaining her part.
"What if you can't go back?" He sounded tetchy, but his eyes were fixed once again upon his task.
Erin couldn't fault his annoyance in this moment. "I don't know. But I feel I can... like I know I can in my bones... it's hard to explain." He didn't respond, silence closed around them, and Erin felt him rebuilding that damnable wall. "Can you please try to understand?"
Again he didn't acknowledge her words.
"Uncas?" She felt annoyed now too, but the sound of his name pulled him back to her, shaking him from his stubborn will to return to the stoic tracker, only focused upon the practical, closing himself off to all that sought to do him harm. His eyes avoided meeting hers for a brief moment, only settling upon her face as she began to speak again.
"I don't really know what will happen. I can't stay here, I don't want to hurt you and I don't want to be hurt. I just want to save you, I want this to be over, and for you to be alive and... I like you, okay? I really like you, I do, but I can't... we can't!" She knew this was already a lengthy ramble. "I'm not even really meant to be here at all." She gestured with a frustrated sweep of her hand to her surroundings. She stilled a moment, her eyes catching the beauty of a spray of stars in the darkening sky through the falls, like sparks of silver against deep grey velvet.
When she turned back he was looking at her directly, studying her moment of distraction with pensive eyes, an arm casually dangling over his knee, waiting for her to continue, the watch seemingly abandoned.
"Right now, you are meant to meet Alice right here!" She gestured palms down to the space they found themselves in. "This is where you are bonded together, the reason for everything!"
She knew he didn't want to hear this, a pre-determined fate, his destiny, and she saw a peevish line to his lips.
"But instead," she raised her arms in a shrug of defeat, "I'm here, making a mess of it all. I'm finding it really hard to just accept everything I thought I knew about you, about this story, isn't real.. or true.. or going to happen... and that's all because of me!" She saw his eyes were fixed on her now, intent. "But, please don't be mad at me okay! I'm trying my best."
She saw a flicker of emotion move through his gaze but couldn't read it.
"I'm cold and I'm scared and I'm tired... and you!" She set her jaw, angry with him, and also knowing none of this was his fault at all. "You..." She breathed out the word, surrendering all her fury to it, feeling suddenly short winded by how fast changing her own emotions were, like a constant running stream she could not hold back, "are making this all so hard. I can't have feelings for you, or you for me, understand? It's not how things are meant to be!" Tears again, she wiped at them irritably, furious with herself for having so little control. "I miss my home... and here, this time, is so cruel... and I just can't-"
She hadn't realized how raised her voice had become and with a sudden crouching movement and a gentle hand he covered her mouth, stilling her frustrations. His eyes silently telling her to hush and be still.
His gaze went to their surroundings once again, for a long drawn out moment Erin feared she had ruined everything and their pursuers would rush in, discovering them easily from all her clamour. The rush of water filled her hearing and the dark expanse of the night remained so quiet that it seemed unnatural. The moon was now rising, bright and nearly full, adding a silvery glow to the rippling water, the reflections of light dancing off rock walls.
They both waited with bated breath to see if they had been found.
/
A/N
Hello a good Friday to all. I am indeed back and I leave you upon another cliff, please try and hang on until the next chapter! :D
I hope those stopping by to read had a fun time with me but with all of the glitches going on with FF (no notifications on stories/PMs/follows/reviews etc) I'm unsure if anyone will be notified this chapter has been uploaded. I hope those wanting to read still find a way to. Right now I'm just happy I can still keep my update deadline and the site is still semi working.
I extended my heartfelt thanks to those taking their hard earned time to read and review, Mohawkwoman, Flowangelic and Eilan21, your insights and opinions are wonderful, thank you for sharing them.
So, Erin has finally told Uncas she never had any intention to stay. I think he was maybe more angry at her dishonesty, but maybe he is upset she won't stay with him too? Did he want her to I wonder? Maybe Erin will change her mind and be able to get over her insertion into another romantic couples story? Or perhaps these two are really not 'fated' to be together? Maybe Uncas will be drawn back to Alice? Of course, I know I am teasing you all a little here, I know the answers because I wrote and finished this story but, these were all thoughts I had when I originally wrote this chapter, still quite unsure where this fairy path was taking me.
What do you think dear reader? Hopefully more will be revealed next time.
