CHAPTER 6: The forbidden word

Uriel looked at them with haughtiness and contempt. Michael smiled wickedly showing how much she was enjoying the situation. The Metatron had the facial expression of someone very important who had to stop what he was doing to deal with an annoying setback, and Sariel had the audacity to look at Aziraphale reproachfully.

Michael, of course, was the first one to speak.

- You are so pathetic it's embarrassing. You haven't even been able to find a hiding place. You went straight to where we all knew we would find you.

- You haven't been up to your position, not even to your status as an angel, Aziraphale - Said Uriel with unbearable smugness - You have been causing problems for too long.

- Boy, I'm truly disappointed with you - The Metatron spoke like a school principal reprimanding a troublesome preteen - Obviously, I was wrong about you but, anyway… Only her Great Omnipotence is free from making mistakes.

Aziraphale, with much more aplomb than could be expected due to the state he was in just a few minutes ago, looked at them one by one with the dignity of a king.

- And you, won't you say anything, Sariel? Are you afraid for the integrity of your miserable ass if you say what you really think? - Sariel opened her mouth wide, scandalized by what she considered an unprecedented impertinence - Come on, indulge yourself for once. Don't you dare? No, you won't, because you are a coward and you only take into account what's best for you.

- Aziraphale! - Said the Metatron, who seemed to have definitively lost his patience - You are not in a position to act like a braggart. You have failed in your duties as…

- Blah, blah, blah, blah… Chattering is the only thing you do, Voice of God. You have been under Her skirt for so long that you now consider yourself above good and evil. Not even once have I seen you live up to your position! You just pass the buck and your responsibilities to others. You're nothing more than a conceited, self-indulgent old man.

Crowley couldn't believe what he saw and heard. He looked at Aziraphale and the archangels alternately. What was the angel intending to do? The way he was putting everyone in their place was admirable, no doubt, but the consequences were going to be terrible. Terribly terrible! The Metatron looked like smoke was going to start coming out of his ears at any moment.

- How dare you disrespect your direct superior like this? You are not worthy of being called…

- Uriel, your arrogance is so big that, if it grows even one more centimeter, it will hit her Great Omnipotence in the eye.

All the archangels let out gasps of disbelief. That sentence bordered on blasphemy. Aziraphale's insolence had surpassed all limits. Crowley put his hands on his head.

- Let's end with this once and forever! - Michael exploded - Let's impose his punishment and free the world from this duffer!

- And you… You are the worst of them all. An abject and poisonous being. You've been acting like a vermin ever since I returned to Heaven, all because you covet my position!

- You don't have what it takes to be the Supreme Archangel!

- And you do? Maybe you're right, because you're an upstart who only cares about her own benefit. Envy dominates you and you don't care about how many heads you have to step on to get what you covet. Yes, you are probably the ideal candidate for the post. Isn't that right, "boss"?

- That's enough, Aziraphale! - The Metatron thundered - You will receive your punishment immediately. Your name will be erased from the Book of Life and your existence will never have taken place.

- Do you maybe think I care?

The archangels looked at each other again, stunned. What did he mean he did not care? Every living being cared about ceasing to exist! And if he didn't care, did it still make sense to punish him? No, it had to be a bluff. Not even Aziraphale could be that stupid.

- Angel, for what you love the most, cut it now - Whispered Crowley, pulling his sleeve - Let's get out of here or try to find a solution while we have the chance… If we still have it.

Then, Crowley heard the words he never thought would come out of Aziraphale's mouth.

- I… HATE… YOU… - Aziraphale said, chewing the syllables.

The Metatron's anger vanished, disarmed by that forceful statement. The archangels, before the forbidden word, took a step back as if they had heard the name of Satan himself. Crowley was about to faint.

- I hate each and every one of you. You are poisonous souls that dishonor Heaven with your very existence. You have never cared about Humanity. You don't even deserve it! Do you want to make me disappear? Go ahead! I don't want to exist in a universe in which you exist. I have already done everything I had to do in this life. I have seen things of captivating beauty. The Earth and its creatures have never ceased to fascinate me. Not a single day has gone by where I didn't learn something from humans. I've had wonderful experiences and sensations you cannot even imagine - He looked at Crowley and smiled - I couldn't have been any happier.

- That's how it will be, I assure you! - Thundered the voice of the Metatron.

- Then you'll have to make me disappear too!

Surprised by this unexpected interruption, everyone turned to look at Crowley, who had stood next to Aziraphale and showed an unwavering determination on his face.

- Crowley, no! That is not necessary. They have nothing they can use against you. You can save yourself. Please…

- You are still an idiot, angel - The demon took his friend by the hand and spoke again, addressing the archangels - I don't want to exist in a universe in which Aziraphale doesn't exist.

The angel, after a second of stupor, looked at Crowley as if he were his sun and stars, and wrapped his hand in his. Crowley, in turn, gave him a mutual understanding smile. The moment would have been extremely poetic if it wasn't for Michael's quick reaction.

- Wish granted, demon - She said, licking her lips with pleasure at the misfortune of others - We will get rid of you along with your boyfriend and we will have a win-win.

Crowley had to shield his eyes with his arm as a powerful flash of white light and a golden flare exploded in front of him. At the speed of thought, Aziraphale had stepped between him and the archangel brandishing his flaming sword.

- If you dare even to approach Crowley, you'll have to deal with me.

- Ha! - Michael insolently mocked that threat and made her own sword appear - Do you think you are a match for me?

- I am the Supreme Archangel, of course I can confront you!

- The Supreme! Don't make me laugh! You are nothing but a chubby and indolent swallower, a hedonist, a nitwit. I'll carve you like a turkey!

Crowley was about to materialize his black flame sword but knew that if he did, the rest of the archangels would also draw their weapons and they both would have no chance at all. His brain was working frantically trying to find a way out of that situation. Michael and Aziraphale were about to launch themselves against each other, when…

FLASH!

The store was filled with an explosion of light that blinded them all. It was as if a fluorescent tube powered by nuclear energy exploded. A thunderous organ chord was herad, along with trumpets and bells. The doors of the bookstore opened by themselves and the store was filled with dense white fog.

After the initial flash, the light subsided, becoming increasingly weaker and bluish. The sound of the organ faded away and the trumpets and bells also sounded more and more distant. The fog, which reached the ceiling, gradually concentrated at ground level and dissolved.

Everyone was protecting their faces with their arms. They were dazzled by the burst of light and the music, which was still echoing in their heads. When they were finally able to stop blinking, they looked around trying to figure out what had happened.

- Well, that's enough. Everyone calm down and put your weapons down, please.

Neither Aziraphale, nor the archangels, nor Crowley could believe what they saw.