Hi everyone, you're probably wondering what this story is all about, but let me introduce myself to y'all first. I'm S.A.G.P6, and I'm new here to , I may not be the smartest or the best at making stories, but I'm going to try and see what works and what doesn't work. I always wanted to make a crossover about them, it's a lot, but I think I can manage, I mean this story is about Red and Blue, so why not go a little crazy with the idea?
After playing Sonic Frontiers, reading the IDW comics, watching the 9th season of RWBY, and seeing the announcement to the upcoming Red vs Blue series finale after 2 whole decades (Man I'm getting old...), I would like to start out by making stories about three of the biggest franchises I've enjoyed growing up.
It'll mostly take place within the Red vs Blue universe and it's gonna start off during season 5, the characters from RWBY will join in (as well as some new ones from later on) where their timeline is taken between Vol. 2 and Vol. 3, and for the Sonic characters are taken from after the events of Frontiers with some elements from the IDW Comics that will appear in some segments of the story.
I won't be including anything that's unrelated to the official source material meaning no Archie Comics, the Sonic movies, or Sonic X, I'm only going to have it take place in the games' continuity, and fair warning there's gonna be some occasional swearing with the addition of blood and obvious sex jokes.
Also, I'm not going to include 14-18 seasons of Red vs Blue unless the change is necessary, because I'm going to be honest, they never really do anything to impact the mainline story and they were a drop in quality compared to the older seasons, which is probably the reason why season 19 is trying to retcon those as simulations, meaning they were never canon to the plot. (Thank God)
Now that's all out of the way, let's begin the most insane crossover I've made yet, this is Red vs Blue vs RWBY vs Sonic! (Inspired by the works of Iron117Prime and DocTokuMA)
Disclaimer: All settings, characters, and stories belong to both Rooster Teeth and Sega respectively, and have no means of plagiarism.
Why are we here in this world?
A soldier with light-blue colored armor is walking inside a large metallic blue base while holding a sniper rife, when inside there was a lot of loud and bumping noises along with something that sounded like glass shattering on the floor.
He then turned around and saw someone with purple colored armor who was holding what appears to be a medical scanner.
"Hey Doc, what the hell is going on?" the light-blue armored soldier asked.
"Church, everything's fine. The patient is just resting." Doc replied.
"Doesn't sound like he's resting." Church said as the mysterious noises kept on getting louder.
"That's not Tucker, that's our new arrival!" Doc answered while a loud 'Blarrrrrrg' was heard. "He's got a lot of energy since his first feeding."
"Tucker, fed, the baby? Gross…" Church said in disgust.
"Actually, Caboose was kind enough to donate some blood. You know what they say, it takes a village." Doc said.
"How'd you get him to agree to that?" Church asked.
"It's amazing what Caboose will do if you promise him a cookie and a glass of orange juice." Doc said as the glass shattering noises continued along with another loud 'Blarg, honk, honk!'
"But he hates needles." Church said.
"No needles; it turns out if you just expose some bare skin, the little guy just digs in! Doc explained while Caboose walked up from behind him. "It's like a miracle to see nature at work."
"I feel dizzy!" Caboose said as he looks a bit unsteady to be standing.
"Um, is he gonna be, okay?" Church asked.
"Tucker's kid drank half a gallon in one go. Isn't that cool?" Doc said in excitement. "I think he's gonna be a linebacker. Or a vampire. Or a vampire linebacker! That'd be crazy!"
"Oooooh…" Caboose felt a bit lightheaded after draining a large amount of his blood.
"Anyway, blood is pretty important, so Caboose is bound to have some side effects like dizziness, or nausea, or sensitivity to light." Doc explained to Church.
"I think I'm going to stop standing up now." Caboose then suddenly collapses on the floor.
"Or passing out."
"Church if I die, I want you to have my orange juice." Caboose said while constant 'Blarg' noises are happening somewhere else.
"How can Tucker sleep with all that racket?" Church asked.
"Sleeping? He's not sleeping… He's in a coma." Doc answered.
"Alright that's it, get out of the way Doc, I'll take care of this."
"I can't feel my torso." Caboose said on the ground almost unconscious.
"I don't think so, a newborn is really susceptible to infection, and disease." Doc said in an unsure manner. "And cuddling, I only wanna expose it to as few people as possible."
Church scoffed. "Doc, don't worry, I'm not gonna give it a cold, I'm just gonna go in there, step on its neck and shoot its head, because that's how I roll."
"Well now you're definitely not coming in." Doc said not wanting Church to harm the newborn alien. "And I think we're gonna send back your shower gift too."
"I'm still laying here… why won't anyone help me?" Caboose questioned.
"I'll tell you what, I promised to wash my hands before I destroy the abomination of nature, okay?" Church reassured.
"Sorry."
"Doc, seriously, you can't keep me from going inside my own base." Church said in annoyance.
"Church, don't make me pull rank on you." Doc said in confidence.
"R-rank? What the fuck? I outrank, you don't outrank me I'm a captain!" Church exclaimed.
"No, you're a private with a dead captain." Doc corrected. "The last time I checked, that makes you a private… with a dead captain."
"My body… is trying to die…" Caboose said in a weaken state.
"W-okay fine, then we're both privates, you don't outrank me." Church remarked.
"No, I'm Medical Super-Private, First Class." Doc boasted in response.
"That's not a real rank."
"Yes, it is."
"Since when?" Church asked in curiosity.
"Uh, since I sent them a letter everyday for four years requesting that promotion." Doc said.
"They promoted you for that!?" Church was flabbergasted. "You haven't even used your weapon!"
"Leadership isn't about firing bullets and stabbing people Church; leadership is about being able to tell others to fire bullets and stab people." Doc explained.
"If I've been bitten, does that mean I'm going to turn into one of them?" Caboose asked still lying on the floor in a somewhat unconscious state.
"Shut up Caboose" Church said in irritation.
"Blaaaaaaaaaa-"
"Shut up Caboose."
"-aaaaarg. Oh, no don't let me turn." Caboose said.
All of a sudden there was a loud crash happening outside of blue base, as well as something that sounded like an airplane falling into the ground, this disturbance managed to shake the interior of the blue base for a bit.
"The hell was that!?" Church exclaimed in confusion.
"I didn't feel anything…" Caboose said, staying still on the ground.
"I'll be right back, don't feed any more of our soldiers to the alien." Church commanded.
"Okay, but I can't make any promises." Doc said to Church before he left.
"Don't leave me with the horrible doctor." Caboose muttered.
"Oh, shut up Caboose." Doc remarked.
"Now he's cursing at me."
Somewhere far outside of blue base, there's a red armored soldier with a shotgun who appears to be the oldest of the group, and he's with a maroon armored soldier with a smg gun and a… yellow…? Gold…? Whatever armored color soldier he's supposed to be, and has the same weapon as his friend.
They appear to be at the middle of the boxed canyon, observing a crashed aircraft vehicle, it's likely they're observing the crash site which is the cause of the strange loud impact that was going on outside of their territory.
"Simmons, *cough* status report *cough*." The red armored soldier said while clearing his throat.
"Um, an enormous thing just fell out of the sky and landed on Donut sir." Simmons reported.
"Are there any other injuries?"
"No sir!"
"You sure?"
"I think so."
"Are you sure?" The red armored soldier questioned. "No one accidentally got shot in the face when someone else's shotgun just accidentally went off during the incredible distraction of a spaceship crash landing, purely by coincidence?"
"Uh, I don't kno- "
"No one orange?"
"Ugh, I'm fine." The orange armored soldier groaned.
"Sorry sir." Simmons apologized.
"Oh dehrh, I really need to adjust the sights on this thing." The red armored soldier groaned while holding his shotgun.
"What about private Donut, sir? There's no way he survived that." They all started staring at the ship which apparently crushed their former private Donut.
"Poor Donut. I'll miss him like a sister."
"I'll miss him like… well like someone I knew but that I don't really wanna reflect on how deep our relationship went." The red armored soldier commented.
"Wait a second, do you hear that? It sounds like tapping."
"All I hear is you guys talkin' about your feelings for Donut. And I have to say, I'm not really comfortable with that." The orange soldier said.
"Listen, there it is again." The tapping noise continued to get louder and louder.
"You're absolutely right! That sounds like morris code."
"Um, excuse me sir, it's actually not morris code? It's morse code sir." Simmons corrected.
"Morse, heh, that sounds ridiculous, I don't think so." The red armored soldier said.
"Yes, morse is the person who developed an international code for communicating without audio. Morris was a television cat that sold cat food." Simmons pointed out to his red leader.
"And that cat was one of our finest military minds, don't you see? That just means Donut is alive and trying to contact us! Now, get to tappin'." The red armored soldier commanded.
"Maybe we can lift the ship off of him somehow." Simmons suggested.
"Great idea, Simmons! I've read reports that people can get enormous strength in stressful situations. There was one woman who lifted a car off her baby."
"You want me to call Donut's mother?" The orange armored soldier asked.
"Don't make me angry, Grif. You wouldn't like me when I'm angry." The red armored soldier threatened. "Now if only there were some way to tap into our inner rage, like that Hulk fella. Dang Nabbit! There's never any gamma radiation around when you need it."
"Well, what if we tried getting into the ship, and lowering the landing gear? That might raise the ship." Simmons suggested.
"Or, we could build an army of clones that could lift the ship-."
"I think that the jack in the Warthog might be able to lift it…"
"Could develop a machine that shrinks the ship, or that makes Donut gigantic! Or both!" The red armored soldier said.
"Or we could try digging underneath the hull."
"I've got it! A levitation ray. I think I have a spare in the base! I'll be right back!" The red armored soldier then walked away as his team followed him.
"But sir!"
"Simmons there's no time to chat about your crackpot theories!" The red armored soldier yelled as he went inside a jeep nearby. "This is a crisis situation. Time to save us all, with science." He then drove off to the far side of the canyon. "Pshew! Off!"
"Ugh, Sarge just drove away with our jack, didn't he?" Grif asked.
"And our shovels. Sometimes I'm amazed our entire platoon hasn't starved to death." Simmons sighed. "Hey what's that over there?"
"The ship? Yeah, it crushed Donut to death, what are you still being sentimental about him? Because I am this close to ending myself if I have to listen to your stupid eulogy one more time." Grif complained.
"What? No, you dumbass, I meant what's that besides the ship." Simmons and Grif then went to the side of the ship and found something unexpected. It was a group of young girls who appears to be teenagers in different colored clothing and are all lying on the ground unconsciously.
The red and black one has a long sleeved thick black blouse with a high collar and red trim on the sleeves, silver eyes, a black waist cincher with red lacing up the front, a black skirt with red trim, a pair of thick black stockings and black combat boots with red laces, red trim around the top and red soles, a red hooded cloak with a large sliver rose emblem pinned on her belt buckle with bullets and pouch attached to it, black hair that fades to dark red at the tips cut in an asymmetrical bob, and a large scythe with the tip and handle in colors of red and black.
The white and blue one has a thigh-length strapless dress with faint color gradation from white to pale blue at the hem, pale blue eyes, long white hair pulled back into an off-center bun tail and pinned with an icicle shaped tiara, a small piece of black lace sits in the front of her neckline and the hem of the dress is scalloped and stitched to resemble snowflakes, with layers of white tulle under the skirt, a bell sleeved bolero with the same color gradation as her dress from shoulder to wrist, lined in red and with a ruffled collar, rectangular silver earrings, white wedged heel boots, and a thin silver sword attached to her side.
The black and white one has a big black bow on her head, amber eyes with light-purple shadow, black low-heeled boots, long and wavy black hair, black buttoned vest with coattails, white sleeveless undershirt, white shorts that's connected to her shirt, black stockings with shades of purple, a detached scarf-like collar around her neck, and a katana like weapon in a black sheath.
The yellow one has a tan jacket that bares her lower stomach, with golden brown piping and short, puffy sleeves with black cuffs that feature two gold buttons, a low cut yellow crop top with her emblem on the left breast in black, a brown belt covered by a pleated brown piece of material reaching from hip to hip around the back of her waist, a longer, white, asymmetrical piece of material reaching to her knee on the right side, as well as a pair of black mini-shorts, A lavender bandana is tied around her left knee, and a pair of yellow gauntlets attached to her arms.
"Well holy shit! Who are these people!?"
"I have no idea; I think they're a bunch of teenaged girls." Simmons said while observing them.
"Wha-who the hell would dump little kids in the middle of a boxed canyon!? Are they even alive!?" Grif questioned.
"I'm not sure, for all we know they could've been from outer space like with the spaceship that crash landed here." Simmons theorized.
"So… what you're saying is that, a group of girls we never saw before in our entire lives… are from outer space… what kind of bullshit answer is that?"
"Hey, it's just a hypothetical theory! They might be aliens or some shit I don't fucking know!"
"Your theories sucks ass!" Grif yelled.
"Screw you Grif, I don't understand how we even- oh look I think they're getting up." Simmons then pointed to the girls.
"Wait seriously?"
Just now all of the girls started waking up all grunting, as if they're in pain after a long slumber. They all slowly getting up while regaining their footing, one them decided to speak.
"Ugh, Ruby what did you do?" The black and white one groaned in pain.
"I-I-I'm so sorry, I didn't think it was gonna do something like that!" Ruby panicked.
"Augh, I told you it was a bad idea in the first place! We could've gotten seriously hurt or worse! We're lucky we can stand up after all of that reckless action of yours." The white and blue one said.
"Hey Ice Queen! Leave my sister alone will ya! It was just a mistake; we didn't know what we were getting ourselves into Weiss." The yellow one said defending Ruby.
"Just a mistake? Yang, for all we know, that object could've teleported us to the middle of nowhere with no essential supplies or necessities to survive, putting us all in danger!" Weiss said in annoyance.
"Look I said I'm sorry, ok?" Ruby apologized. "I was just curious, I wanted to know what would happen, but I didn't think it would turn out like this!"
"Augh, Blake can you get a good view of… wherever we are? Because as of right now, I am not going to put up with Ruby's mess." Weiss said in irritation over Ruby's mistake.
"Why don't we ask them?" Blake then pointed at both Simmons and Grif who continued to stare at them.
"Who are those two?" Yang questioned.
"Judging from those armor, they are certainly not soldiers from Atlas." Weiss observed.
"Well, we can just ask them, there's no harm in trying right team?" Ruby said in confidence.
"Just be careful Ruby, we don't know what we're getting ourselves into." Blake insisted.
"Uhhhh, who the hell are you girls?" Grif asked in confusion.
"Hello, we're team RWBY, huntresses in training. We were wondering if you know where we are right now." Ruby politely asked.
"Uh… you see… I uh… you're… I mean…" Simmons then fidget in anxiety and panics a little towards them.
"Dude what the hell is wrong with you?" Grif turned to see Simmons getting anxious.
"Look man I'm nervous, I never interacted with a girl in a long time." Simmons voice began to cracked.
"I can already tell this conversation started to derail quickly." Yang said.
"They don't really seem to be all that professional for a pair of soldiers." Blake noted.
"Let's just give them a chance, maybe they aren't as bad as we think they are." Ruby said with optimism.
Weiss sighed. "Somehow I highly doubt that."
"What? Why!? It's not like you're going to take them on a date or some crap, and besides they look like they're a bunch of ten-year-olds anyway! How hard can that be!?" Grif exclaimed.
"Hey! We're not just a bunch of kids, we just so happen to be seventeen." Yang crossed her arms.
"And fifteen!" Ruby added.
"Can we get back on topic!" Weiss yelled. "Where are we? What is this place? Why are we even here?"
Simmons and Grif turned to look at each other for a few seconds, and then back at Weiss, as if they have heard this line of question before.
"It's one of life's great mysterious. Why are we her-"
Simmons scoffed at Grif's response. "No, you idiot! They meant why are they here in this canyon?"
"Oh, uh, you see you're here in this canyon… it's… somewhere in the dessert area… with two bases right next to each other… and we're fighting and stuff." Grif explained in a lazy manner.
"What?" Blake said not understanding what Grif was saying.
"Really?" Simmons replied unamused.
"Look I don't really know why we're even here ok! All I know is that I have to constantly deal with this bullshit every single day of my life, when I could've just been at the base eating on some good pizza right now, but no we have to deal with this stupid crap instead!" Grif complained harshly.
"Yeesh, someone woke up on the wrong side of the bed this morning." Yang said while feeling a bit uncomfortable.
"Was the swearing really necessary?" Ruby winced.
"This is getting us nowhere! Look just tell us where we can get to Vale and we'll be on our way." Weiss said with impatience.
"Vale?" Simmons said, not being familiar with the name.
"Never heard of it." Grif said.
"What? How could you two not know where Vale is?" Blake said in confusion.
"First time I've heard of a place called that." Simmons replied.
"What about Beacon Academy? You know, the famous school for hunters and huntresses?" Weiss asked, hoping to get a proper answer this time around.
"Hunters? Huntresses? Are you girls into those nerdy role-playing crap where you imagine yourself in a fantasy world?" Grif questioned.
"No, we're not role-playing we just want to know where we can-."
Before Weiss can say anything else, they all heard some honking noises, they turned to see Sarge driving a warthog and is heading their direction.
"Who's that guy?" Ruby asked.
"Oh, him? That's Sarge, he's our commanding officer." Simmons said.
"Maybe talking to someone with a higher authority can give us some answers to what's going on." Weiss said.
"I wouldn't count on it." Grif said.
The warthog then stopped near them, as they saw Sarge stepping out of the vehicle.
"Bad news fellas, I couldn't find that levitation ray, but I did find the remote control to-." Sarge then stopped talking when he saw a group of four girls standing next to Simmons and Grif.
"Who are these lil' ladies?" Sarge asked
"Sir, this is team RWBY." Simmons said trying to introduce them to his leader. "We found them lying unconsciously near the ship."
"So, this is supposed to be Command's backup?" Sarge said in a surprised tone.
"Uh, no sir they were besides the ship, not inside of it."
"But- But they're girls!" Sarge said.
"What does that supposed to mean!?" Yang said, not liking Sarge's response.
"I mean, that's just nonsense, Simmons said you four were near the ship, meaning Command must've have some involvement with ya, and last I checked the army wouldn't allow a buncha young lady children to fight! That's stuff for el macho people only, people like me!" Sarge stated.
After hearing this, Yang began to growl in anger, her eyes began to flash red and her hair begin to turn bright yellow. "I'll have you know, I'm the best damn fighter here! You can take your el macho crap, and shove it up your- "
"YANG! Stop, we don't want cause a scene." Ruby begged as she tried to calm her down.
"Well shit, remind me to never mess with her." Grif said.
"My fears of girls just increased by ten percent… actually make that twenty percent." Simmons said as his voice cracked again.
Sarge chuckled at Yang's anger. "Heheh, well I'll be, it looks like there is some fire in ya after all! You'd make a fine addition to red team."
"Is he being serious right now?" Blake asked.
"Welcome to my life." Grif said sarcastically.
"Sorry to disappoint you, but we're not here to join your team." Ruby politely said to Sarge.
"What? But Command sent you, if you were besides the ship, that means Command must've had something to do with y'all ladies." Sarge said confusing Weiss.
"That makes no sense we're not- "
"And that young lady in red over there." Sarge said pointing at Ruby who gave him a confused look. "She's wearin the red cloak, that means she's the best soldier in your team, and if that doesn't scream 'Red Team' then I don't know what is dammit!"
"FOR THE LAST TIME! WE'RE NOT SENT BY COMMAND! WE'RE NOT SOLDIERS! AND WE'RE NOT PART OF YOU'RE STUPID RED TEAM!" Weiss shouted at the top of her lungs, causing both teams to be equally surprised at her sudden outburst.
"Weiss, that wasn't really necessary, you didn't have to shout like that." Ruby flinched.
"Ouch, burst my eardrums why don't you?" Yang said, annoyed at Weiss's outburst.
"You didn't have to yell like that." Blake said as she put her hands on her bow.
"Well excuse me for being impatient! We're stranded in the middle of nowhere, and the only people we're talking to are a bunch of ignorant, unprofessional soldiers." Weiss exclaimed.
"Hey, I resent that!" Grif retorted.
"Grif you couldn't even properly explain to them where we are, what makes you think she could trust your knowledge in the first place?" Simmons pointed out.
"Eh, I'll complain about it later." Grif lazily said.
Sarge continued to stare at Weiss for a few seconds until he spoke. "Well… if you're not part of command… or part of Red Team…" He then cocked his shotgun and aimed it at team RWBY, surprising them all in the process.
"Woah! What the hell are you doing!?" Yang exclaimed.
"Have you gone mad!?" Weiss yelled.
"Sir!?" Simmons yelled.
"Sarge! What the fuck!?" Grif shouted.
"If you're not with Red Team, then there's only one logical explanation… YOU'RE A DIRTY BLUE!" Sarge yelled with anger and hatred.
"Are you mental!? What does being blue has anything to do with not joining your scandalous team!?" Weiss screamed.
"Uh, Weiss." Ruby slowly moves next to her partner. "I don't think it's smart to call the guy crazy while he's pointing a gun at us."
"Could someone please explain what's going on!?" Blake exclaimed.
"Dangnabbit! Isn't it obvious? The Blues called Command for backup and it just so happens to be these four girls right here." Sarge said. "They're trying to gain the upper hand by infiltrating us behind our backs!"
"That might be the most ridiculous story I have ever heard!" Weiss exclaimed.
"Wait, Mr… Sarge." Ruby then slowly walked towards Sarge with her hands in the air to avoid any means of violent confrontation. "We were just brought here by accident, we don't have anything to do with your Red Team or Blue Team, we would just like to know if-"
"The fuck are you guys doing out here? Breaking the canyon?" They all turned to see Church who is approaching them.
"AHA! I KNEW IT! You're part of those dirty blues!" Sarge yelled.
"WHAT!?" Both Team RWBY and Church shouted in confusion.
"Caught ya red handed, and by red, I mean by Red Team!"
"Seriously, what the hell is going on? Who are these girls?" Church questioned.
"Think you can play dumb with your dirty blue tricks ey." Sarge then lowered his gun, as he turned to Simmons and Grif. "Grif, Simmons, I want you two to raise your guns and shoot these four right here and now."
"WHAT!?" Simmons and Grif shouted.
"Why do we have to shoot them?" Grif asked. "Why can't you do it!? You're the one who pointed a gun towards their heads in the first place!?"
"That's what you're asking!?" Simmons yelled.
"Well… I mean… they're ladies, and I would never hurt a lady in my life." Sarge said. "Now men, raise up your guns and blow their noggins off!"
Team RWBY were about to bring up their weapons in preparation for an upcoming fight against Sarge and his Red Team, until Church steps in and intervened.
"Hold on a minute! Let's not do anything crazy here." Church tries to call someone via radio inside his helmet. "Hey, Caboose! Did you call Command? Like asking for backup involving four young girls?"
"Well, maybe I did try calling Command once." Caboose wearily responded. "I was asking them if they can bring us some more orange juice… I'm all out of orange juice… and I think I've mentioned Tucker giving birth after his alien friend came out of his- "
Church then hangs up the call, not wanting to hear anymore of Caboose's insane ramblings. "Ok, we're in the clear. Command might have sent something to us, but I highly doubt it involves those four girls."
Ruby slowly moved next to Yang making sure that they don't hear them. "Hey, Yang."
"What?"
"Is it just me? Or does that blue guy sound familiar to you?" Ruby asked.
"What do you mean? This is the first time we ever met a guy like him." Yang said.
"Well, call me crazy, but doesn't he sound kind of like our dad right now?"
Yang didn't understand her little sister, until the sudden realization hits her like a truck. "Oh, OH, OH I can definitely hear it now! What the hell? Why does he sound like dad!?" Yang exclaimed.
Ruby hushed Yang, not wanting to attract unwanted attention. "I know this is shocking to you, but try to keep your voice down, as weird as this is, it's best if we don't mention this to anybody, or him, we don't want to get on their bad side."
"Ok, I get ya sis." Yang whispered.
"Are you saying… those four youngins aren't part of your team?" Sarge clarified.
"NO!" Both Church and Team RWBY yelled together.
"Well then who are they?" Sarge asked.
"Yeah, I'd like to know that myself." Church said.
Team RWBY then introduced themselves and explained to them what had actually happened to them that caused them to appear in the boxed canyon in the first place.
"I'm Ruby Rose! Leader of Team RWBY." Ruby gleefully said while pointing herself.
"I'm Weiss Schnee, heiress of the Schnee dust industries." Weiss said with some sense of notability.
"Blake Belladonna." Blake said.
"Yang Xiao Long, nice to meetcha!" Yang said ecstatically.
"We were on a mission transporting a mysterious object to our Beacon Academy, we were in a bullhead vehicle flying high up in the sky, the object we were carrying was in a box, and I let my curiosity get the best of me." Ruby explained.
"To which I constantly tried to tell you how much of a bad idea that was!" Weiss reminded.
"I know, you don't have to remind me I'm sorry, ok?"
"So, what did you tried to do that made you end up here in the first place?" Simmons asked.
"When I opened the box, it was revealed to be a book."
"A book? Why the hell would you go transporting a stupid book? That's the most boring mission I've ever heard yet." Grif said.
"I'm getting to that part." Ruby said with patience. "We all didn't know what the book might do, and so when I opened the book, a huge bright light flashed all over us, blinding us all, it made me dropped the book, and then all of a sudden, we felled down. After that, we have no idea why we're here and we're trying to find a way to get back to Beacon Academy."
Ruby was done explaining their side of the story to the Red Team and Church, a moment of silence has gone by for a few seconds, leaving them with more questions than answers, until Church was the one to speak up.
"Bullshit."
"Excuse me?!" Weiss was taken aback towards Church's response.
"I said bullshit, what kind of dumbass story was that?" Church said in anger. "I opened a book, and here we are? That's the stupidest fucking made up story I have ever heard."
"I can't believe I'm going to say this, but I think I might have to… sort of… partially… agree with the blue here." Sarge said, not liking the thought of siding with Church. "What you're saying is too farfetched."
"Yeah, all this book glowing with lights and shit sounds way too cool just for that to happen in real life, and besides how it can just bring you into a boxed canyon? By teleportation or some unbelievable crap?" Grif said, not believing Ruby.
"Well there are many scientific theories on how the concept of teleportation might actually work, I can show you some highly detailed statistics about the-"
"I don't know and I don't want to know, so how about we skip the nerd talk because all I'm hearing is how incredibly unrealistic it is to believe a book that can managed to do all of that." Grif replied to Simmons, not wanting to hear his boring conversation.
"What more do you want!? What my sister said is the truth!" Yang said as her eyes began to flicker in red. "So, how about you back off and- "
"Yang you don't have to stand up for me." Ruby said.
"But- "
"It's ok really, it doesn't matter whether he believes us or not, what matters is trying to find some way to take us back to our Academy."
"Fine…" Yang replied.
"Anyway, now that you have nowhere else to go, what are you planning to do now?" Church asked.
"We don't know, we haven't thought of anything yet, we just recently woke up next to this ship and– "
"Hold on, are you saying this ship right here?" Church said.
"Yeah, this was the ship that crash landed on one of our guys." Grif said.
"Wait what do you mean it crash landed on your guys? What happened? Blake asked.
"Well, you see, poor ol' private Donut got crushed by this here ship that came crashing out of nowhere, and I was planning on using a levitation ray to get him out of it, but that's definitely a no go." Sarge said.
Yang snickered. "What kind of name is Donut?" Blake then elbows Yang. "Ow, sorry…"
"What, this ship?" Church asked.
"No, another ship. Then that ship left, and this ship crashed in the exact same spot." Simmons said.
"What kind of insane logic is that?" Weiss asked.
"Where'd it come from?"
"It's a spaceship, it came from space." Grif said.
Church stared at the spaceship for a moment, and then back at the Red Team. "Dibs."
"What?" Simmons said.
"Dibs, I just called dibs, this is my ship now, dibs." Church said.
"Dibs." Sarge said quickly.
"Too late." Both Simmons and Grif said.
"Dangnabbit! Why did I leave you two to guard anything? Everybody knows about the international dibs protocol and the no take backs accord." Sarge said as Team RWBY were just watching in bewilderment.
"What in the world are they doing?" Blake asked.
Weiss sighed. "I can't believe we're gonna be stuck here surrounded by a bunch of idiots."
Yang chuckled. "I don't know about you, but I am starting to love watching these guys fool around with their so-called dibs protocol."
"And I thought I was weird on my first day at Beacon." Ruby said.
"Whatever jackass, that doesn't mean it's yours, we found it first!" Simmons exclaimed.
"Yeah, but you didn't call dibs, I did, dibs, see?" Church said.
"You can't call dibs on a spaceship! That's ridiculous." Grif exclaimed
"Yes, I can, dibs, see? I just did it again." Church said. "Now get the fuck away from my ship tomato can."
"Don't call me tomato can!" Simmons scowl at Church.
"Try and take it then." Grif said.
"Um… ok, Sheila?" Church then turns around to see a tank appeared by his side.
"You bet." Sheila said as she pointed her cannon at the Red Team.
"Where did that tank come from!?" Weiss exclaimed.
"And it can talk?" Blake said.
"Its name is Shelia?" Yang said.
"A talking tank ready at his side willing to take commands… that's so amazing!" Ruby said with joy. Her team then slowly began to stare at Ruby giving her weird looks. "What?"
"Oh snap." Sarge said.
"Fuck! You forgot about that too, didn't you?" Grif said to Simmons.
"Yeah kinda."
"Now step away from the ship, tomato can." Shelia insulted Simmons.
"Ha ha, tomato can." Grif mocked.
"You too, Lemon Head." Shelia insulted Grif.
"Hey I'm orange, not yellow!" Grif corrected.
"What's wrong bud? 'Orange' you not glad she called you yellow?" Yang joked, causing a lot of groans coming from Team RWBY and Grif.
"Please don't tell me that's gonna be your thing." Grif said.
"Yang are you serious? Jokes at a time like this?" Weiss asked.
"What? I doubt anything bad is going to happen. Those guys are as harmless as they come anyway." Yang said.
"Are we going to forget the red soldier who aimed a gun to our heads a few minutes ago." Blake pointed out.
"Ok, maybe not all of them." Yang replied.
"How many times do we got to say this, you can't have the ship." Simmons said to Church.
"I'm not asking for it, it's already mine, right Shelia?" Church asked Shelia.
"Actually, I kind of like it, I think it is mine."
"Hey are you ok?" Church then walked to Shelia to check on what's wrong with her.
"Simmons, what in tarnation is going on?" Sarge asked.
"I think there's something wrong with the tank." Simmons whispered.
"Yeah, we noticed." Grif said sarcastically.
"I've got an idea."
"Woah… Okay, hold on a second." Grif said. "Before you get too deep into this, let me remind you that we don't exactly have a good track record when it comes to our plans and that tank."
"C'mon Grif, I think the tank's malfunctioning."
"Well only one part of it has to function for me to turn into a cloud of orange mist." Grif said.
"Actually, Simmons let's try to initiate that function, we can gain some benefits from this with the whole Grif turning into mist." Sarge said.
Grif sighed. "Of course, you would like that."
"Okay, just be cool." Church said to Shelia.
"I am cool, you be cool." Shelia replied.
"See guys this is our ship, and by ours, I mean mine, and my…" Church then turns around to see Shelia already leaving him in the opposite direction, everyone continued to watch in confusion. "…80 ton… friend…?"
"Bye everyone!" Shelia said while laughing manically.
Church then turns around to face Red Team, after not realizing that something is going on with the tank's strange behavior. "Um…" The Red Team then cocked and aimed their guns at Church, they were about to shoot him, until a certain little red hood stopped them by getting in between of their shots.
"WAIT! Hold on, let's not kill each other right here!" Ruby begged.
"Missy, what are you trying to say here? He's a lousy good for nuttin blue! He's the enemy! It's our jobs to dispose the likes of him and his kind!" Sarge pointed out.
"Yeah, this is technically what we do for a living." Grif said.
Simmons scoffed at Grif. "No, we don't, we rarely get to do stuff like this because all we do is stand around and talk all day."
"Shut up Simmons, I just wanted to look cool for once!" Grif yelled.
"You were never cool to begin with yellow." Church replied.
"Fuck off blue!"
"Ruby what are you doing?" Blake asked.
"Why are you stopping them? They're incompetent soldiers, it's not like they're smart enough to kill each other efficiently anyway." Weiss said.
"I have an idea that can help both of them without letting them hurt each other." Ruby said in confidence. "What if two girls from my team can go help out Red Team, while the other two go help Church's team? That way there's no need to shoot each other to dust. Is that ok with you?"
Sarge and his team lowered their weapons. "Heh, I knew the girl in red clothing is the smart one in your group, it does sound like a mighty fine proposal!"
"Yeah, I wouldn't mind having a few extra sets of hands after some of my members are… let's just say they're 'asleep' for now." Church said.
Ruby went back to her team, and they all huddled around each other and talked about their plans with the Reds and Blues.
"Ruby, I am not liking this idea, you know how deranged they are!" Weiss exclaimed.
"I know they can be… weird sometimes, but what choices do we have? We have nothing to do, this might be our only chance to even survive out here, and possibly find a way back home." Ruby said.
"I don't know Ruby, it looks like they're supposed to be at war towards each other, it doesn't look like this is something we can just make it instantly disappear." Blake said.
"I agree with Blake, this is a pretty risky move, we have no idea with what we're getting ourselves into, even if they are a hilarious bunch to watch." Yang said.
"I know it's dangerous, but this is the only time we can find out what's really going on after that strange book incident." Ruby said. "And if we try to get along with them for now, then maybe it'll bring us closer to not only finding the book, but also learning more about this place we never been to before."
Weiss then scoffed at Ruby's ridiculous plan "That's absurd and you know it! *Sigh* Fine, I'll play along for now, but I am not going anywhere near those red lunatics! The last thing I need is another headache from their idiocy."
"Okay, then it looks like you're going with Church's team, I'll come with you, there's some things I would like to ask Church about anyway." Ruby said, wondering about how similar Church is to a certain father figure.
"I guess that just leaves me and Blake with Red Team." Yang said.
"Just be careful out there, remember, there's supposed to be a war going on between the two teams, even if it doesn't look like one, it's better to be safe than sorry." Blake advised them with caution.
"I understand, we'll only use our weapons and our semblance in case of an emergency, I wish we could, but there's no Grimm here, so I doubt we'll get to use them a lot in this situation. Now is everyone ready?" Ruby asked.
The four of them then broke out of their huddle, and approached the soldiers.
"It's decided, me and Weiss will go with Church's team while Blake and my sister Yang will go out with the Red Team."
"What? But I wanted the…" Sarge then sighed, not fond of Church taking Ruby. "Okay, fine… I wanted the red cloak girl, she was red…"
"Wait, you mention one of them is your sister? Which one of them was that again?" Simmons asked.
"Uh, that would be me by the way." Yang said, raising her hand.
"Really? That's your sister? You two look nothing related at all." Grif said.
"I know, it's best not to get too deep into it." Yang said, not wanting to get others involve in personal family matters.
"No, really, I have to ask, there's literally nothing about you two that makes you look like sisters at all."
"What are you trying to say?" Yang asked with a raised eyebrow.
"Grif, what can you possibly understand anything about family relations?" Simmons asked.
"Well one, you're all yellow and she's all red, two, you're tall and she's small, and three, you have really big boo- " Before Grif can say more, he was punched in the face by Yang, causing him to fall back a few feet and landed onto the ground. "OW!"
"How about next time, observe girls base on their personalities, and not by their chest sizes, lemon head." Yang said while cracking her knuckles.
"Again… I'm orange… not yellow…" Grif wearily said on the ground.
"Y'know on second thought, I wouldn't mind having the yellow lady on our side, could use a great fighter in Red team." Sarge said.
"S-Scary…" Simmons whispered in fear.
"Alright enough dicking around." Church said as he turns to Ruby and Weiss. "Let's go you two, though I should warn you, our base is kind of a mess right now."
"I doubt it's a bigger mess than what Red team is currently doing." Weiss said.
"Don't worry Weiss." Ruby said with optimism. "I'm sure their team is nicer than we gave them for."
After the trio left, Yang and Blake turned to the reds.
"So, are you gonna give us the tour of your red base?" Yang asked.
"Oh, uh, yes we would love to show you two around." Simmons responded.
"But, what about the ship you guys were talking about." Blake asked.
"Oh." Simmons and the rest of Red team were too focused on the arrival of Team RWBY, that they almost forgotten the ship altogether. "We believe that this ship was sent by Command."
"Command?" Yang asked.
"The people we worked with, and now that I think about it, what happened to all of that tapping noise from earlier?" Simmons wondered, and on que, the ship started making weird tapping noises again, presumably in the form of morse code.
Church and the others arrived at blue base, when they went inside, they noticed Caboose lying on the ground. "Uh, who's he?" Ruby asked.
"Oh, him? That's Caboose, don't worry about him." Church reassured.
"Why is he sleeping on the ground?" Weiss asked.
"A lot of things happened today before you arrived, now Caboose! Where's Doc?" Church asked.
"Doc left." Caboose replied. "Took the baby for a walk, it's growing up so fast. Seems like just yesterday he was born."
"Well actually he was born today… like… an hour ago." Church said.
"Baby?" Weiss questioned.
"Like I said, a lot of things happened today."
"We need to cherish these times. I wish I knew how to scrapbook!" Caboose said.
"He sounds… like a child." Weiss said.
"Weiss that's kind of harsh." Ruby said.
"I mean, I didn't expect a soldier to act… different from the rest of his team." Weiss stated.
"He kind of sounds like professor Oobleck in a way." Ruby said.
"I doubt he… wait… he kind of does, weird…" Weiss said.
"Where's Tucker?" Church asked.
"Still in a coma." Caboose replied.
"Great, Tucker's out, Shelia's on the fritz, Doc is babysitting, and now I have two, technically four teenagers who are lost." Church said with irritation in his voice.
"Is Tucker and Doc one of your guys?" Ruby asked.
"Yeah, the one in teal is currently in a coma after giving birth, and the purple one is our medic."
"That must've sound painful, I kind of feel sorry for her condition." Weiss said.
"It's fucking stressful that's what it is, and by the way, Tucker is a male and his baby is an alien." Church corrected.
"WHAT!?" Weiss exclaimed.
"Church who are the two pretty ladies that I can't see? One of them has a loud voice, are they in a band?" Caboose asked, not moving his head.
"They're Ruby and Weiss, just some kids who are going to help us, and Caboose, if we survive the next five minutes, I'll be fuckin amazed." Church said, he was about to leave the base, until Ruby talk to him.
"Wait, where are you going?" Ruby asked.
"I'm going to find Doc, so he can fix all of this." Church replied.
"What about your friend Caboose? He's still on the ground, I think he needs help."
"He'll take care of himself, he's been through worse, and by the way he's not my friend. Now are you coming with me? Or not? Because I don't have time for any of this." Church asked, he then left the base.
"I don't know what's more confusing, the fact that one of their team members gave birth as a male, or the fact he birthed an alien which somehow exists in this place…" Weiss said.
"Why is Church so rude to his team? He's supposed to be their leader after all, and every time he talks, he just reminds me of dad." Ruby wondered. "Hey, wait for us Church! We're coming!" Ruby said, as she and Weiss left the base to go with Church.
"I'm fine by the way! Don't worry about me…" Caboose said, as everyone had already left. "…I'm still cold…"
Meanwhile, the Red team along with Yang and Blake, are outside near the ship.
"Quit yer yammerin'. Let's see if we can get this thing movin', I was thinking about our little discussion earlier and I- "
"And you've decided to use one of my ideas?" Simmons hoped.
"Course not!" Sarge replied. "I've got a new much more realistic plan for lifting the ship, if Donut is underneath, all we need to do is enrage him to the point where he can lift the ship and our work is done."
Blake facepalmed at Sarge's plan. "Sarge that's not going to- "
Yang then hushed her partner, while smirking at the Red team's way of rescuing Donut. "Hold on for a sec, I want to see where this is going."
"Now quick, help me think, what would make Donut furious?" Sarge asked.
"I dunno, have you tried sharing your plan with him? That would probably do it." Grif replied.
Sarge turns around and look at the bottom of the ship that crushed Donut. "Hey Donut! I was back at the base reading some of your fashion mags, and they said that pink is no longer the new black! Turns out black is the new black, and pink is the old black, which is now white, and it's after Labor Day! You know what that means!"
"Oh, dear god." Grif groaned.
Yang smiled. "Now this is comedy gold."
Blake sighed. "It really does astound me that they would rather stand around and talk, and not at least try to do something to help their friend out…"
"Also, we needed to do some minor rust repairs on the warthog drive train." Sarge said. "The bad news is that the only lubricants I could find is your imported hand creams! The good news is, the jeep now smells like lilacs. Rust, metal, lilacs!"
"This has got to be th-"
"Yeah, this doesn't seem to be working." Sarge said, as he interrupts Grif. "Alright, time for plan B."
"Break into the ship and see if we can raise it-"
"No!" Sarge yelled at Simmons. "Plan B is to try and induce superpowers in Grif."
"What? How are you going to accomplish something like that?" Blake questioned.
"Oh, I am loving where this plan is going." Yang snickered.
"Oh, trust me lady, I know a way around some things, Simmons, get my jar of radioactive spiders out of the warthog! C'mere Grif I need to borrow your neck." Sarge said.
Before Sarge could do anything, there was a loud metal noise coming from inside the ship. "Did you just hear that?" Grif asked.
"Yeah, that was kind of weird." Blake said. "It sounded like it was coming from-"
"Mayor of Burbank! Plan A is working!" Sarge yelled. "Quick Grif, give me a list of the latest celebrity breakups! Simmons help me out!" Simmons walked up to Sarge, and they both look down at underneath the ship.
"Hey Donut, I heard they cancelled daytime television." Simmons said.
"Hey Donut! Command called; they rejected your new definition for fire in the hole! They're gonna stick with the old one." Sarge said.
"Oh Donut! I heard that the Winter Olympics is going to focus even more on snowboarding next time!" Simmons said.
"I can't take this; I'm going to watch some football." Grif left, feeling stressed out.
"Grif's has been using your paisley thong as a slingshot."
Yang is trying her best to hold in her laughter by covering her mouth with one hand. "Shhhh!" Blake hushed. "I'm trying to listen."
"What? Are you that interested in Donut's paisley thong? I didn't know you were into those kind of stuff Blake." Yang teased.
This cause Blake to blush furiously. "What!? No!? I meant do you hear that?"
"Hear what? All I hear are the Red team's insults towards their not dead friend Donut." Yang said.
Blake put her right hand on her bow, and listen in closely. "There's this strange noise coming from inside the ship, I think someone's inside of it right now."
"What? How do you know that?" Yang asked. Blake pointed to her bow. "Oh, that's right, you're part cat, but still, should we do something about it?"
Blake tried to listen close on the strange noise near the ship, only to hear nothing at all. "Not now, the noises stopped for some reason, I think we'll just have to wait until something happens."
"Okay you're the boss." Yang shrugged.
Church, along with Ruby and Weiss, are approaching Doc, he's looking down as if there's something wrong with him.
"Hey Doc, we've got problems man. I need to call Command." Church said. Doc is still looking down at the ground, not responding to Church. "Hello, Earth to Doc. I mean, this place to Doc."
"Um… Doc? Are you ok?" Ruby asked.
"Excuse me, Doc, are you not feeling well?" Weiss asked.
Doc then looks up and face them. "Don't you want to say hello to our new friend?"
"What?" Everyone looked down to see what Doc was talking about, and what they saw caused them to be speechless. They spotted a small, teal colored, alien who was about two feet tall and is now staring at them.
"Honk?" The alien responded.
They all continued to stare at the alien for a few moments, not preparing themselves for what they had just witness in front of them, a living, breathing, baby alien standing right in front of them.
"What… is… that… thing…?" Weiss asked, not sure what to make on what she's seeing right now.
"I don't… I-I can't… I can't… I don't… this is…" Church was at a loss for words.
"Take your time. This is a big moment!" Doc said.
"Blarg." The small alien said.
"It's… so… ADORABLE!" Ruby squealed.
"I know right? Isn't mother nature just simply breathtaking?" Doc asked.
Weiss pinched her nose. "Ruby, you did not just say that atrocious looking specimen look adorable out loud."
Ruby gasped at Weiss's response. "How could you say that? That tiny alien is just so CUTE! It's like having another Zwei!"
"At least Zwei was a dog, this… *thing* is nowhere near appealing." Weiss stated.
"Alright shut up you two, I can't deal with this right now." Church said, not wanting to deal with Tucker's newborn alien.
"HONK!" The alien yelled.
"Shut up! You're disgusting. Doc, what is Vic's number?" Church asked.
Doc turns to look at Ruby and Weiss. "Uh, Church who are these two girls?"
"They're Ruby and Weiss, yadda yadda yadda, some people who are helping us out, now just tell me his number already!" Church answered harshly.
"What for?"
"For reinforcements! Wait, unless you've had like, specialized combat training for the last 10 minutes." Church said.
"Uh nope." Doc responded.
"Then yeah, reinforcements."
"Why do you need reinforcements?" Ruby asked.
"Because I'm in a fucked situation with my life on the line! Almost all my team members are down, the tank is acting weird, and I have to babysit you two until actual help arrives." Church said.
"Well, we can help you, there's nothing team RWBY can't handle after all." Ruby said while smiling.
"No, you can't, at least not right now, you're just a bunch of kids, the last thing I need is seeing you getting hurt by those red assholes." Church said.
"But-"
"Ruby! We're supposed to only fight if things get out of hand remember?" Weiss whispered to Ruby.
"I know that, but still, it sucks that we can't do anything! And we're supposed to be a team of huntresses. Helping people out is what we do best." Ruby stated.
"We wait until it's the right time to do so, for now just try to be patient, ok?" Weiss said.
Ruby sighed. "Okay, but I still don't like doing this though."
"Well, I did just change a dirty diaper."
"That doesn't count." Church stated.
"I don't know, it was a real doozy… number two."
"Ugh, Gross!" Ruby gagged in disgust.
"Too much information Doc." Weiss facepalmed.
"Doc, focus!" Church yelled. "Vic's number what is it?"
"Come on Church! Everyone remembers Vic's number. Didn't he teach you the song?" Doc asked.
"Oh right, Vic's jingle." Church said.
"If you want to talk, don't email, and don't you click, click, click, click, just call me up at 555-V-I-C-K." Doc sang.
"That was kind of catchy." Ruby said.
"Not the worst song in the world, but the lyrics could've definitely used some work." Weiss commented.
"You know it would probably would have been more memorable if it rhymed, or if his name actually ended in a K." Church said.
"Oh, music is a great way to learn things. That's how I studied for the MCAT." Doc said.
"You passed the MCAT?" Church questioned.
"What's an MCAT?" Ruby asked.
"It stands for Medical College Admission Test." Church answered.
"Oh."
Doc started laughing. "Not even close, but you should really hear my rendition of the Kelly Clarkson song 'Miss Independence.' It teaches you all about the lymphatic systems. Dome dah dome, lymphatic system!"
"Hey, shut up, I'm on the phone." Church whispered.
"Honk!" The baby alien said.
"And do me a favor, kill that fucking thing would you?" Church asked, he calls Vic on radio communications inside his helmet.
"Blarg." The baby alien responded.
"Hey, dude~" Vic responded.
"Hey, it's Church- "
"This is Vic at 555-V-I-C-K, doodly doo~. I'm not in the casita right now, so leave your lowdown at the dingdon, hasta! *beep*"
"Hey Vic, this is Church, I need to-"
"You have reached the voice mail system."
Church groans, not wanting to deal with Vic's voice mail. "Ok, ok, come on."
"Um, Church? Who are you trying to call?" Ruby asked.
"I told you to shut up! I'm trying to listen." Church responded harshly.
"To leave a message, just wait for the tone."
"I know how to leave a goddamn message!" Church said.
Weiss rolled her eyes. "This conversation may take a while…"
"When you are finished recording, just hang up, or press pound for more options."
"Really, hang up? No shit! I was just gonna keep talking until he decides to check his voice mail." Church said sarcastically.
"For delivery options, press 5." The automated voice call said.
"Just give me the damn beep!" Church yelled.
"To leave a callback number, press 8. To page this person, press 6."
"Come on!" Church shouted.
Ruby turns to Weiss. "Weiss, who do you think Church is trying to call?"
"Probably someone name Vic, but I don't think he's having a good time at the moment." Weiss answered.
"How come?" Ruby asked.
"To repeat this message, press 9."
"I will fucking stab you, computer phone lady!" Church threatened.
"That's why Ruby." Weiss pointed. "I'm starting to believe this so-called war of theirs, is just an excuse to not do anything productive."
"There's gotta be something we can do around here." Ruby said. "We just have to wait for the right opportunity. I'm sure Blake and Yang are dealing with Red team's problems right now."
The Red team are still observing the ship, while they hear the same tapping noises being repeated.
"That tapping noise is going to drive me insane." Grif said in annoyance. "We either need to get Donut out of there, or find a way to kill him." Blake then hits him in the back of his head with her hand. "OW! The fuck was that for!?"
"We're not going to kill one of your teammates." Blake said.
"I was just kidding sheesh! Learn to take a joke!" Grif yelled.
"Saying that you're going to kill your ally is not funny."
"Yeah, I have to agree with Blake on this one, jokes about murder aren't funny unless they're 'executed' well!" Yang joked, causing everyone to groan in annoyance.
"And now I want to go back to hearing the tapping noises again." Grif said.
"Yang? Really?" Blake questioned.
"Don't blame me for having a different sense of humor, I'm just trying to pass the time, we've done a whole lot of nothing for what felt like hours and so far, we still haven't gotten the ship off of Donut yet." Yang said crossing her arms.
Simmons sighed. "Donut, can you please stop tapping? We heard you, you're crushed, and you're in mortal danger. We get it!"
"I can feel the tapping in my brain." Grif complained.
"Well, I have to admit it. I'm stumped." Sarge said. "I have no idea how to get him out."
"JESUS!" Grif shouted. "How long will it take to starve him to death? When was the last time he ate?"
Blake glared at Grif. "Are you serious?"
"I'm not trying to be funny here, I'm just askin." Grif said. "Sarge, didn't you once tell me you've built self-destruct mechanisms into our armor? Can't you just use Donu- OW!" Grif was cut off, as Blake hit him in the back of his head once again. "Why!?"
"No, sadly that's just you, Grif. Although I could activate yours if you'd like." Sarge suggested.
"How would that help?" Grif asked.
"Well, the situation would be a little less annoying." Sarge said.
"You want me to get the activation code, sir?" Simmons asked
"Eh, the activation code is just 'activation code'." Sarge said.
Yang snorted. "Did you really?"
"Yeah, to keep it simple." Sarge replied.
"I'm gonna pretend I didn't hear that." Simmons muttered.
"We're not going to blow anyone up! And why would you install something like that?" Blake asked.
"You know… for safety reasons…" Sarge said.
The tapping noises continued to get louder at louder each time.
"Oh my god, is it getting louder?" Grif winced. "I bet the Blues don't have to put up with anything this annoying."
Church and the rest of the gang are still outside in the same position as before, they're waiting for Church to finish calling Vic, but it looks like he wasn't too happy with the automatic voice system mess he's currently in right now.
"To mark this message as urgent, press 11."
"THERE IS NO 11 YOU FUCKING WHORE!" Church yelled out loud.
"Ooh, language." Doc said.
Weiss shook her head. "So, unprofessional and ill-mannered." She noticed Ruby was looking kind of sad, as she continued to stare at Church. "Ruby, are you okay?"
"Huh? Yeah?" Ruby responded in confusion.
"Because you've been observing Church for quite a bit ever since we've been here. Is everything alright with you?" Weiss asked.
"I-I'm fine Weiss, there's nothing to worry about." Ruby hesitantly replied.
"Men, it pains me as your leader to say this, but I think we need to admit defeat." Sarge said.
Blake moved next to Yang. "Okay, this time I'm hearing it directly, whoever is making those tapping noises must be inside the ship."
"Got it, I think I know what I have to do now." Yang said, she then went next to the door of the ship.
"Yang what are you doing?" Blake asked.
"Years of my experience on the battlefield, and I've finally met my match. I've never thought I'd be beaten by a ship. A ship full of enemies, maybe, but never just the ship itself. Bravo, ship… bravo." Sarge said to his team.
"Don't give up yet, sir." Simmons said. "I'm sure we can find a way to-"
The Red team didn't noticed Yang going towards the ship, she jump and grab the top of the ship's door. She used both her hands to slam it down as hard as she can, making a lot of creaking noises, causing Red Team to witness her in action.
"What in the Sam Hell is going on!?" Sarge shouted.
"D-Did you just open the ship's door… with your hands!?" Simmons exclaimed.
"I just fixed your ship problem, you're welcome by the way." Yang said.
"Dude… seriously… what the fuck…?" Grif said.
Blake's bow twitched. "Someone is coming out of the ship."
"What? How can you possibl-"
Before Simmons can say anything, they all heard footsteps and turn to see the one who was making the morse code tapping noises in the first place, what they've found was something they had not expected at all.
"What the fuck are you doing here!?" Grif exclaimed.
The rest of the blue team are still outside waiting for Church to finish his phone call, he's not making any successful progress at all.
"To hear these options in Spanish, press dos." The automated voice said.
"I HATE YOU!" Church yelled. *beep* "Vic, it's Church I need t-"
"I'm sorry, but this person's voicemail box is full." The automated voice said.
Church growled in anger. "Ugh, I'm gonna kill myself, I'm gonna kill myself."
"Church are you ok?" Ruby asked.
"Uh, what was that all about?" Doc asked.
"Everyone, we are royally screwed, half our team is down, and I thin-"
"No, it's not, look! Caboose is already back in action!" Doc pointed at the blue base.
They all turn to see Caboose running out of blue base. "I'm okay! I'm okay!" He stops in place, and quickly collapse onto the ground a few seconds afterwards. "I'm not okay!"
"Aren't you going to give him some medical help?" Weiss asked.
"He's fine." Doc replied.
"Like I was saying, half the team is down, I gotta keep watch on the girls, and half that's left sucks, so all the Reds need to do is attack us, and we're dead." Church said.
"Honk!" The small alien shouted.
"Oh right, and I have to kill this fucking thing." Church said.
Ruby gasped at Church's response. "How could you! Why would you want to kill something this cute and innocent?"
"Are you fucking serious right now?" Church asked.
"Don't bother arguing with her. Once she starts, she'll never stop." Weiss said.
"Also, I see a big ship! Now I know I'm hallucinating!" Caboose yelled.
"Oh, and I forgot that part! The Reds also have an enormous ship that was sent by their command." Church said. "Probably has a huge fucking weapon on it, like a nuke, or a biological weapon that's gonna melt our skin, or a genetic weapon that's gonna make everyone in blue armor sterile… Awesome…"
"Hmm, maybe this isn't the best time to remind you that technically, I'm neutral in this conflict." Doc replied.
"Church, you don't have to worry, Blake and my sister Yang are at Red team, if there were something strange going on with them, they would tell us immediately." Ruby said.
"Not to worry? Ruby, I don't know anything about you girls, so I don't think this situation can get much worse." Church replied. "I mean the ship is bad enough, but God knows what kind of reinforcements they have in that thing! Could be a whole new squad! Or, a Freelancer! Or…"
"Grif's Sister!?" Simmons exclaimed in surprise.
The Red team saw a girl in yellow colored armor, who was originally in the ship that crash landed near them, and just so happens to be Grif's sister.
"Yeah, isn't that cool?" Grif's Sister replied.
"You know, I always knew there was a genetic possibility that Grif would have blood relatives, but I always held on to the hope that he was a HORRIBLE by product of an experiment at a turd manufacturing plant!" Sarge said.
"That's… disgusting." Blake said.
"Go… home…" Grif declared.
"What?" Grif Sister was confuse.
"Go home, right now." Grif repeated harshly to his sister. "Get in your ship, uncrash it, and fly it home."
Yang whistled. "This just got awkward."
"I agreed." Blake said.
"Whatever, make me!" Grif's Sister argued.
"As much as I don't wanna spoil my reputation as a do nothing slacker, I will not hesitate to beat you senseless and drop you in the ship myself!" Grif said.
"Okay! I think that's enough of that." Yang said, not wanting the tension to escalate any further. "How about we just all calm down and introduce ourselves? Hi my name is Yang, what's yours?"
"Heya, my name is Kaikaina Grif, but you can just call me Sister!" Kaikaina said.
"Sister?" Blake said.
"You know, as in Grif's Sister, duh." Kaikaina said.
"Alright, Missy, there's just one thing I don't get; how'd you join the army?" Sarge asked.
"What do you mean? I just sign up." Kaikaina stated.
"But you're uhh, you know… you got lady parts." Sarge said.
"So?" Kaikaina said.
Yang shook her head. "Oh boy, not this again."
"So, unless this is the cooking and sewing army…" Sarge said.
"No, I meant to join the real army." Kaikaina corrected.
"Does your gun shoots brownies?" Sarge asked.
"What?"
"You'll have to excuse Sarge; he comes from the old school." Simmons pointed out.
"Thanks, by the way… nobody says old school anymore." Kaikaina said to Simmons.
"So Kaikaina, why did you want to join the army?" Blake asked. "Becoming a soldier is not a career anyone would want to partake in, unless there's a specific reason to do so."
"Actually, they told me I was too young, so I grabbed an extra suit of armor, and busted a shuttle!" Kaikaina said ecstatically.
"Now that's badass." Yang said, causing Blake to roll her eyes.
"Glad you learned something from me." Grif said.
Kaikaina snickered. "No, I'm just kidding. I always wanted to do something like that."
Yang sweatdropped. "Aw what? You got my hopes up for nothing."
"But why did you join the army?" Grif asked. "That's the dumbest thing I had ever heard… well besides the book thing."
"But that book situation my team dealt with, was true!" Blake pointed out.
"Yeah, sure, whatever you say." Grif said, still not believing them.
"Well, you always looked after me when mom ran away to join the circus." Kaikaina said.
"Pffft, wait what?" Yang snorted.
"Wa-Wait a second, hold on, your mom is in the circus!?" Simmons asked. "You know, at first I didn't like you, but you've already made my insults 45% more efficient by just saying one sentence."
"Was your mom a flaming sword swallower?" Sarge asked. "We could use somebody to replace Donut."
Blake blushed for some reason. "I'm gonna pretend I didn't hear that."
"Nope, you know how circuses have a bearded lady and a fat lady? Well, my mom plays both because she's like, SUPER talented!" Kaikaina stated.
Yang then exploded into a laughing fit, Blake elbowed her to keep her from laughing, but she was also having a hard time composing herself, after hearing Kaikaina talking about her and Grif's mom.
"Oh. My. God. Is it ok if I record everything you say?" Simmons asked.
"Sure!" Kaikaina said. "Anyway, Grif always looked after me, but when he went away, I didn't want to be alone."
"That's unexpectedly sweet of you Grif." Blake said.
"Don't mention it, no seriously, don't mention it to anyone else, ever." Grif stated.
"Okay, let me get this straight. You felt scared being alone, so you decided to join a war?" Simmons questioned.
"She's a Grif alright." Sarge said.
"Wait a minute! She was the one who was tapping!" Grif shouted.
"Duh." Simmons said.
"Yeah, I was wondering why you guys didn't answer." Kaikaina said.
"None of us knows morse code, it's outdated." Simmons said.
"Don't you mean 'old school'?" Kaikaina asked.
"Wait a minute, Grif got a point, if she was the one making all that racket, then what ever happen to your friend Donut?" Yang asked.
"A baby? Wait up, I wanna see!" Donut said ecstatically.
"Donut, get back here! Wait for the ship!" Sarge yelled.
"But Sarge! We don't know when the ship is gonna get here! It's coming all the way from Earth!" Donut replied. "That could take days, or weeks, or months, or even years!"
There was a giant crash that can be heard from underneath the surface, when the ship crash landed on Donut, he was crushed and launched into a well-lit underground area, as he was falling, he began screaming very loud, but unfortunately no one was there to witness him in distress. After the impact broke his fall, he woke up and struggled to get back up.
"Ow, what happened?" Donut said, he slowly stands up, but fell back down in pain. "AUGH! OWIE! I think there's something wrong with my gluteus maximus." He puts his hand near his rear end, and what he felt was something strange. "What? What's this?" He then took out something that look like a shiny green emerald that somehow was lodged inside of him. "WOAH! I know I've had things that went inside of me before but… this must be my lucky day!" Donut said, examining the treasure he found in delight.
Somewhere in the cliffs of the canyon, a blue humanoid like hedgehog creature is on the ground, he has emerald green eyes, white gloves, and red shoes. He was down for a moment, until he slowly started to rise back up, he's holding his head with his hand, groaning in pain.
"What just happened? Where am I? Some sort of canyon?" He wondered.
The hedgehog then saw a bright white flash that was going off in the distance, he ran in a blue blur, and what he saw was something he did not expect, a bunch of wild, hungry looking, ferocious animals, with skeletal appearance all over their bodies, with bright red eyes, and are around both the red base and blue base.
"Huh, looks like mother nature isn't very welcoming in this ghost town." The blue hedgehog said. "Maybe there's some answers I could find after what happened to me and my friends!" He then ran off very quickly, and went towards the Reds and Blues base, while preparing to fight off any incoming attacks from the wild life.
And that was chapter one! Looks like Team RWBY is in quite a pickle dealing with the reds and blues, Ruby kept thinking about her dad everytime she sees Church or hear him talk, (probably because they're voiced by the same actors).
The Red team meets Grif's sister Kaikaina, I know they call her Sister in the main show, mostly around season 5, but I'll admit, I do like her character in the later seasons, even if they weren't my cup of tea, and they already revealed her name in the later episodes, it was mostly by Grif, but it doesn't really matter that much anyways, I'll just have the Red vs Blue characters refer to her as Sister, while the other characters refer to her as Kai or Kaikaina, and I'm planning to incorporate more bond between Kai and Grif because I really did enjoy their moments in Season 17.
I know what you're thinking, 'YOU LIE YOU PROMISED THERE WOULD BE SONIC CHARACTERS IN THIS STORY!' Yeah, I know, sorry you're gonna have to wait until they're all presented in like a chapter or two, I have to start slow, so that way I can grasp a better pacing within the story, I'm still new to writing, and I hope that I can please everyone with what I bring them.
I'll try to have Team RWBY do a lot more in the story later on, because this is season 5, it's part of the blood gulch chronicles, as in the story arc where they stand around and talk all day, until the whole ai, o'malley, and Wyoming fiasco, and I really can't wait until we get to season 6 because the recollection trilogy is my favorite out of all the story arcs in the RvB show. Other characters will show up in the story, but you'll have to wait until then, I got a lot of plans to show what they can do in the story.
Anyways that's all for now, any form of criticism is welcome, review, comment, favorite, share, and I'll see y'all on the next chapter, bye!