Shine, shine, shine a light on your deepest fears!

Tuesday afternoon rolled around far too soon. Gwen did what she'd planned, keeping to a table in the corner closest to the door with her math book in front of her, getting her homework done. Ms O'Halloran didn't even seem to notice. She was too busy smiling at the cameras.

"Hello and welcome to our very own anti-suicide rap session!" she said to them. "I'm Blaineley Stacey Andrews O'Halloran, and I'm your host. Now, we're going to start off this little session with a song to raise everyone's hopes!"

Gwen didn't even listen to the song. She knew what it was going to be on about, though, exposing and discussing your fears and flaws and supporting each other. It was all so fake. When the teacher asked if anyone wanted to share, she saw Emma, not far away from her, raise her hand, waving it violently. Blaineley saw it, everyone could tell, but she totally ignored it to boost her own ego. Gwen felt guilty. Maybe tomorrow, she'd try talking to Emma and apologizing. Or maybe that evening. There was no guarantee that she'd forgive her for writing that note, but she had nothing to lose by saying she was sorry for hurting her friend, and trying to think of ways to make it up to her.

When the positive-vibes song was over, only one person spoke up. It came from the middle of the cafeteria.

"I've thought about killing myself!"

Gwen raised her head at the voice, a soft, high-pitched, almost little-girl voice. One that she knew well. She couldn't believe what she was hearing. Or at least, she could, but she couldn't believe the identity of the person speaking.

It was Lindsay.

Gwen watched as Courtney, still seated, pulled at Lindsay's arm, but Lindsay pulled away and walked further into the line of sight of the cameras, all eyes on her. "It's like I'm cursed. Like, one night I ran away from this guy I was sorta…sorta dating. And two days later, he killed himself…because he was in love with his best friend. And my best friend looked like her life was perfect and she knew everything and made me feel like I had it all too, but…but she killed herself too. And it's like I'm just waiting for someone else to die who I'm really close with. Or for me to die. Like, if I kill myself, then at least I won't curse anyone else. And I'm on the bus every morning, and I'm like holy crap, I'm stuck on the bus again cause all my rides are dead, and it's like I'm all knotted up inside, and my heart's pounding. I feel like I'm dying. Like I'm already dying. Like I'll be next, whether I kill myself or not."

This was only part of a long, long speech. Lindsay rambled a lot, making up some stuff about a leaky lifeboat and feeling like it would sink if someone didn't get thrown overboard, but everyone got the point. She felt like she was going to drown if she didn't do the right thing all the time, that she'd be the one who would have to go if she got things wrong. If she spoke her mind or dressed in something other than yellow, she'd be set adrift.

But the second she finished, speaking, Courtney jumped to her feet. "Seriously, Lindsay, what's your damage? Are you saying you don't like being in this school? Why are you head cheerleader if you don't even like us? You don't deserve the position!"

"Young lady-" Blaineley began to say, but Courtney ignored her.

"Why don't you just dive off the side of your little lifeboat right now and let yourself drown?" Courtney yelled, still managing to look pretty, even when she was angry. A boy with a mohawk at a nearby table in particular was looking at her lustfully. He wasn't one of the popular kids – he was too alternative for them to want him around – but no one picked on him, either. He had his own group of friends who seemed to respect him, and there were whispers around the school that he carried a knife.

Lindsay looked horrified. While Blaineley was trying to talk things through, Courtney called out again. "Look at Lindsay! She's about to cry! What a baby!" She was smiling maliciously now.

Lindsay couldn't take it anymore. It was true, her blue eyes were filling with tears. She dashed out ot the room, passing Gwen on the way out.

"Detention, Courtney!" Blaineley said crossly. "Turn off the cameras! Turn them off!"

Gwen didn't know what possessed her at that moment. Somehow, her body was getting to her feet and she was walking into the middle of the commotion. "Is that all you care about?" she heard herself say. "Cameras, attention? None of us wanted this spectacle to be televised. Only you. You promised Lindsay that this was a safe space where she could express herself, and then you only proved that you couldn't protect her. She's not a teachable moment – she's a person!"

"This is what they didn't want to tell you!" Heather was standing in Gwen's line of sight. "Grown-ups suck! They can't protect us either. They're just like us. Some popular people, some losers."

"And you know what?" Gwen steamrollered on, fuelled by the ghost's taunts. "Heather was a total monster, and so were Chase and Ripper! They weren't saints just because they're gone! And you wanna know the truth about how they died? They didn't commit suicide! I KILLED THEM!!"

There was a pause. Dead silence. Trent went to make a few steps towards Gwen. His face was expressionless, but Gwen saw him coming. She guessed that he was scared that she'd already gone too far, wanting to silence her before she mentioned him, even though she wasn't planning to.

Then Courtney saved the situation for him. She broke the silence with a giggle, one that went on for a long time. Other people started laughing awkwardly. "What a power play!" Courtney laughed. "Some people are just desperate to stay relevant and keep their popularity."

Gwen, not sure what she'd done, just ran out. It had just hit her where Lindsay was going, and what she might do unless someone went after her. She headed for the nearest place – the girls' bathroom, just outside the cafeteria.

She managed to look inside, even though she was a little afraid of what she'd find. Yes, the blonde was in there. Gwen realized she had to act fast. She was right to feel scared for the other girl.

Lindsay was leaning against the wall, holding two ten-pill blister pop-out sheets of pills, both now empty of pellets. She was desperately cramming as many paracetamol pills as she could into her mouth.

Gwen didn't think. She just rushed at Lindsay, trying to think of the right words to say.

But all that came out was…"NO!"

It's a short chapter, I know. And yes, I think of the song actually being "Shine A Light". The rap session was more like a performance. I wouldn't put it past Ms Fleming, or Blaineley, in this version, to show off more by having a real musical number in this televised session. Also, I checked out how much paracetamol is in each pill. There's usually ten in each pack, each 500mg. This makes a pack 5g, and a fatal dose is about 10g, so exactly two packs really would be the minimum for Lindsay. She doesn't realize that overdosing is a very slow, painful, and inefficient way to go – her stomach could be pumped in time to save her.