Series title: Whumptober 2023
Chapters: 1/1
Characters: Maura Isles / Jane Rizzoli / Angela Rizzoli
Trigger warnings: None
A/N: The characters and universe don't belong to me. All rights go to TNT, and everyone involved in the production of Rizzoli and Isles, as well as Tess Gerritsen. Everything else belongs to my twisted imagination.
A/N2: Second part of "I haven't slept in days, but who's counting?"
All of these stories are only meant to be one-shots, but many have asked for more. They are written as part of the 2023 Whumptober challenge. I'm following the list of prompts and didn't intend to write second parts for any of the one-shots. That's why they're all posted separately.
Maura jerked awake from the unexpected slumber she had slipped into. It couldn't have lasted more than a couple minutes according to the scented candle burning at the foot of the bathtub and the Yo-Yo Ma's music piece playing in the background. Micro sleep. It was yet another symptom of her lack of sleep. The bath was supposed to help her to relax enough to finally get a restful night. It had been Jane's idea to have her soaking in a warm bath with her favourite music and scented candles. She hadn't had a hard time convincing her to go home after the incident in the morgue. Maura had done her best to fix the gash she had created in Jane's cheek (which was thankfully shallow and would heal properly) but a thin scar might remain after a while. Another reason to feel guilty. How could she have lost control of herself to the point of hurting her friend?
Jane had told her that it was fine, that she wasn't holding it against her. But it wasn't the main reason why she felt so guilty in the first place. No, she felt bad for even doubting Jane in the first place. She now knew that it was caused by the damages insomnia had done to her brain and her perception of reality, but she couldn't get over the fact that she had thought that Jane didn't care about her at all. Her hallucinations of Joe Harris hadn't helped either. Surely it was a product of her tired mind, but still. The thoughts must have come from somewhere. There were ups and down in every kind of relationship and Jane wasn't a model of perfection (neither was she!). Yet, she had proved time and time again that she was always there for her, always ready to protect her at any cost. And she had told her many times over that she was more than a friend: she was family.
Joe Harris must have seen her as Jane's family since he had gone after her and not after any of her blood relatives. Or she had just been the easiest to catch. Sure she had pulled up a fight. But it wasn't enough to unsettle him so he would let her go. She was the weakest link. They had dragged her into a trap and abducted her. It was done in less than five minutes. The trauma would last for weeks. Or even longer. She wasn't as strong as Jane. She was more easily affected by what was happening to her and being kidnapped by a man whose blood was partially on her hands was haunting her mind. It was by far the most traumatic event she had gone through. She had tried to keep her pain silent, had tried to deal with it on her own because that's what she always did. She never asked for anything. That's what lonely people always did.
She often forgot the fact that she wasn't alone anymore. She used to be. She had grown up alone. Her parents were always travelling somewhere or busy with their lives. She had gone to prestigious schools and had to manage by herself. The Isles were her family, but they weren't the family she had dreamt of, the family all other children seemed to have around her. It had changed over time. Constance, her mother, had changed over time and only because Jane had gotten in her face, telling her that the way she was treating her daughter was wrong. She never got to meet Arthur, but Maura wasn't particularly willing to meet with him again. She was holding a grudge against him, something she had never told anyone about, something she had been told to keep secret making her physically unable to lie for the rest of her life.
Her life was made of shameful secrets that she wouldn't have found out if she hadn't been working with Boston Police. A homicide investigation early in her career revealed that the victim was her half-brother. She had always known that she was an adopted child but was never told a thing about her biological parents. Her father was Boston mob boss, Patrick Doyle. He was one of the most wanted criminals in town. She wanted nothing to do with a man like that, but Paddy Doyle kept inviting himself in her life. Until he was shot by Jane. That had revealed the complexity of the bond she had with him and caused her to reject her friend and refuse to talk to her for weeks. Yet, Jane, who should have arrested him from the start, had protected him because he was her progenitor. She had shot only to protect her life and Frost's.
That incident had brought Paddy to reveal the name of her biological mother. Hope. She would later find out that her full name was Hope Martin, that she was reputed doctor working aboard most of the time. She had come back to Boston for personal reasons and Maura had gotten to know her for a bit before the truth of her identity was revealed. Maura Doyle, the stillborn baby, never was. Paddy had lied and entrusted her to the Isles' good cares to protect her from a life of danger. Hope had rejected her, refusing to believe that the man she loved could have done so. She was hurt that Maura could pretend to be someone she wasn't. Except that she was. And that was Jane who had once again picked up the pieces of her shattered self and helped her to recover from the disillusion that maybe her biological parents could have been the happy family she had always wanted.
Jane Rizzoli. In the end, even when Maura was rejecting her, she kept coming back in her life and helping her through her rough times. Jane had been the first friend she made in Boston. Their debuts were chaotic but memorable. It was Hoyt who had really brought them together for Jane started coming down to the morgue as a part of an immersive therapy to fight her fear of scalpels. Maura hadn't had any intention of making friends with the brash and rude detective, but things happened. They had scratched each other's surface and what was underneath had pleased them. Jane had seen that she was lonely and had invited her over for the Rizzoli's Sunday dinners. It was supposed to be a one-time invitation, not even one she had to accept, but it became a habit and every Sunday, Maura was sitting at the dinner table with the whole family.
Slowly, Jane and she had grown to be best friends. Frankie was considering her like another older sister. Tommy had fallen in love with her but realised later that they weren't made to be more than friends. She had made him later, when she was already part of the family. She had faced the divorce crisis with them, had taken Angela in and offered her a house, had to deal with Frank Senior's mischiefs (her heart still ached for the three children he was rejecting and treating badly). She hadn't thrown Angela out when her relationship with Jane was fractured. She had learnt afterward that all the Rizzoli considered her like family. Jane had said to Angela that she had a doctor in the family, and no one had denied. Jane had taken her under her wing when she saw her solitude. The rest of the family adopted her. They were the family she had always dreamt of. Now Maura found herself crying over that simple fact.
Almost as if she had been drawn by her tears, Jane knocked on the door and peeked into the room. She didn't look directly at Maura. The medical examiner wasn't prudish. She was at ease with her body, but Jane had been raised as a Catholic. Even if she wasn't practicing believer, she was more reserved on naked bodies that weren't her sexual partners.
"Is everything okay in there?"
"Yes, I-I was about to get out. The water's getting cold."
"Good. I've ordered dinner from that fancy takeout you like. It should be here any minute now."
"Thanks, Jane."
"And I left your robe on the towel rack for it to be warm."
Maura nearly burst into tears at her friend's thoughtfulness and gentle attention. She forced herself to take deep breaths to control her emotions. Her mind was confused because of the exhaustion. It was exacerbating her sensitivity.
She was brushing her hair when Jane came back. The reflection in the mirror was the one of a stranger. She didn't recognise herself. How could she have not noticed it sooner? Make-up could only hide a part of the damages. It couldn't conceal the dullness in her eyes, the fear in her features.
The tear that ran down her cheek was wiped away by a soft thumb against her skin. The dam broke. She was sobbing now. Jane wrapped her arms around her body and let her cry, slowly rubbing her back and murmuring comforting words to calm her down.
"I've called us off for the whole week. They'll only call if there's an emergency. Or a breakthrough on our case."
"How did you do that?"
"Cavanaugh wasn't too happy, but he understood, and I think he was relieved not to have me around on that case."
"What about the Governor?"
"He was harder to convince. Didn't want to let go of the best medical examiner of the state. But I haven't left him any choice. Might get a warning later for that."
Jane chuckled. Maura promised to talk to the Governor herself if that happened. She hated that Jane had had to take that risk for her to be able to get some rest and recover.
Maura got a hug from Angela as well when Jane and she went down to the kitchen. Jane had briefly told her about the situation before she came home. The both of them would watch over her and that started with giving her a good dinner. Then, they settled down on the couch. Angela and Jane sat on either side of her, and Jane picked a documentary Maura had already seen (she had expected a Red Sox match but Jane was full of surprises).
The blanket was wrapped around her body like the comforting embrace she was searching for in the middle of her nightmares. She barely felt it. Comforted by the presence of her found family, her body was finally giving in to the exhaustion it had caused to itself...