Chapter 19

Christian

"Wait, you can't go all the way up to the house. He'll see. You should drop me off on the road and I'll walk up."

I turn and look at her incredulously. "That is out of the question. What if he does something? We need to be around in case we need to intervene." We being me. Let me at his fucking face again.

She rolls her eyes. "I've been in the ring with Cam many times. I'm not nervous."

This day has been a whirlwind, and it's hardly lunchtime. My first priority has been staying calm for Ana, but that has been a truly herculean effort since she told me that this lowlife piece of flaming shit had been attempting to blackmail her into staying with him using me. Perhaps the only thing that's kept my mood at bay is the fact that it actually worked. Which means she cares. More than I would have imagined she would after all we've been through. Enough to make herself miserable just to protect my name.

The two of us each have ample reason to despise him, but I am slightly surprised that Ana agreed to this plan. Especially after we explained that it may mean she has to participate in any sort of trial that goes on against him if we use her recordings as evidence.

But here we are, around the corner from Westerley's residence, Ana wearing a wire. I won't ask why this is material that Barney had ready at the drop of a hat. "Are you sure you feel well enough for this?"

"I was going to have to see him today anyway. I'd rather get it over with."

"What if he wants you to stay?" The thought makes my stomach turn.

"You assured me that it doesn't matter what he wants. And I was only staying to keep your name out of his mouth."

I sigh, exasperated. I know my hands are tied. She's right, we have to keep at some distance if this is going to work. "If I hear anything even remotely threatening towards you, I'm going to—"

"I'm sure you will," she cuts me off, clearly catching my drift. "Now let's get this show on the road." I suddenly wish she had an earpiece so I could instruct her if I felt like she needed to get out. I feel like Westerley is a bloodthirsty shark and I'm chumming the waters by sending her in there. "Can you stop thinking so loudly?" she interrupts my panic.

"We'll all be listening for any signs of trouble, Miss Steele," Taylor says reassuringly. Somehow, I wonder if he was saying it more for my benefit than hers.

"Thank you, Taylor. For now, you can all enjoy the sounds of me walking up the driveway."

And so we do, and I watch her figure get smaller and smaller until she reaches the great ugly thing that bastard calls a house. She walks in nonchalantly, and I realize I was half-expecting her to knock. But no. She lives with him. She has for years. This is her normal.

That bothers me.

We hear her walking, and then the sound of a slamming door. "Ana?! Where the hell have you been?" that fucker screams in the distance. We hear the sound of footsteps getting closer.

"What are you doing here?" She sounds a mixture of bored and confused.

"I fucking live here, and my fucking fiancée was missing."

"Funny that you only hang out here when I'm not around."

"Where did you even go? You just disappeared from the event."

"Well, gee, maybe if you would have listened to me that I wasn't feeling well and I didn't think I should go out, none of this would have happened. And what the hell happened to your face?"

"Your boyfriend happened. Seriously, where the hell did you go? With him?"

"If you're referring to Christian, he took me to the hospital."

The fucker grumbles. "Okay, so did they give you something for morning sickness or something?"

"There's no need for that," she answers monotonously. "I miscarried last night. There is no baby."

"You… what?"

"I think you heard me."

He sighs exasperatedly. "This is all your fault. This is what you get for being so stressed and miserable all the time. You caused this. Is this exactly what you wanted?"

I grip the headrest of the seat in front of me, imagining that it's Westerley's heart and I'm squeezing all the blood out of it. "You have some nerve, as if you aren't the reason I'm stressed and miserable. And if you had been there, you would have heard the doctor say that it wasn't my fault. The baby probably had a genetic defect and there's nothing I could have done. I did more research, and that explains why I was having no pregnancy symptoms before it happened, even though I was far enough along. My body always knew it wasn't able to keep it." She swallows, and I wonder if she's nervous. "This means the main part of our deal is off. We won't be having a family."

He has the audacity to laugh, and I wish I'd had the foresight to bring a punching bag. "You think this changes anything? Fuck it, I'll just take you down with him. You're engaged and you sleep at his house. That's behavior for the streets."

"I don't think it's anyone's fault but yours that you let another man take your miscarrying fiancée to the hospital, Cam." Her tone is steadier than I expect, almost icy. "You were there just like he was. You could have taken me hours before he did. You just can't leave whatever little fantasy world you've created for yourself long enough to think of somebody else. Honestly, part of me is relieved. I think you would have been a terrible father. Fathers need to be present. Unless our child was a robot, you wouldn't have given a flying fuck."

"This changes nothing. If you go, I go for you both now. I've worked way too fucking hard for it to go down because of you two and your fucking unresolved crushes."

"I don't have a crush. That has nothing to do with it. I just don't want to be with you. Besides, rumor has it you're not earning your fortune honestly anyway."

He's silent for a long moment. "What is that supposed to mean, Ana?"

"It means I know more than you think I do. And all the long hours at the office make a lot more sense now."

"Have you been talking to Daniel?" he hisses. I don't like his tone, and I wish I could fucking see what's happening.

"What if I have?"

"Then he's a fucking snake. He's the problem. He wanted money because we worked on a project together that I ended up using for the business, and then threw a tantrum claiming intellectual property. He wanted a cut, and I wasn't about to give up my salary for him, so I fudged the numbers a little. Is that so wrong? I just want what I'm owed."

"You're not owed shit! And there's a word for that, I believe it's embezzling."

"And that's why you want to leave me? It's no better than sleeping with the enemy, which you've already done."

"Fuck this. I'm just here to get whatever of my things I can carry. I'll send movers for the rest."

"So you can run back to him?"

"So I can run away from you."

They're moving now, probably going upstairs. "I'll ruin you both."

"You ruined yourself. You honestly could have been something. You could have been a kind, loving partner to me, like I once thought you were, and you could have been successful in your business, but you're pissing it away over an old grudge. You will go to jail, you know that? People know."

"Who the fuck did you tell?"

"I haven't told anyone anything. I'm doing you a favor right now just telling you any of this. Call it a parting gift."

"You can't just leave. It's been six fucking years, Ana."

"You should have thought of that way before we made it here. I guess I won't be needing this anymore."

We all hear him gasp, and I can imagine what she's just handed back to him. Now her hand will be bare. A sight for sore eyes. "He'll leave you, you know. He might give you goo-goo eyes now and punch guys in your honor, but he'll get tired of you."

I flinch and my hand flies to the door handle. "Sir," Taylor quickly interrupts. "I wouldn't, sir. She's doing fine."

I'm not. I can't stand to listen to another moment of this, and yet it continues. "You can believe whatever you have to believe, Cam, but I'm leaving you for me. Not for him, not for anyone else, but simply because I cannot stomach being in a relationship with you, if you can even call this one anymore. Hell, what I should have done a week ago is left you for me and for the innocent child that was being dragged into all this. But better late than never."

"You are so fucking pathetic. A week ago you were staying with me because I dared to threaten the great Christian Grey, now you've gotten over it? You think you've got it made with him, from one rich man to the next."

His tone is jeering, and Ana doesn't answer. I hear some background noise, the sound of hangers scraping in a closet and drawers opening and closing. "Goodbye, Cameron. I don't know who you are anymore, and I'm sad that whoever I'm speaking to now killed the man that I loved. Have a nice life, and maybe try to go clean up the shit you dragged into your place of business because you couldn't share the credit for a half-baked idea."

"This isn't over, Ana!" he screams.

There's the sound of a door slamming, then Ana's breathing picking up. "I'm coming back, guys."

About thirty seconds later, she rounds the corner to our hiding spot off to the side of the street, carrying a duffle bag on her shoulder and a few more armfuls of clothes. I leap out of the car to help her. "Jesus Christ. I could kill that son of a bitch. The way he spoke to you—"

"Yeah, well, please just kill him in court." She sounds tired. She looks tired.

My priorities shift. "Let's get you home to rest. You're probably due for more pain medication." I keep an eye on her as we head back, but she keeps her gaze towards the window. I'm not sure why, but I'm starting to feel anxious about what comes next.

I close my laptop, the afternoon of phone calls and arrangements finally sorted. Ana has been sleeping for a few hours, and I wanted to have a plan for when she wakes up so she doesn't have to worry. The audio that Ana got was basically a full confession, and we'll be able to edit the footage to exclude most of the unsavory things he said regarding me and Ana and our past. It was deeply sobering to hear exactly the kind of volatile person Ana has been dealing with for so long. I even found myself wondering if that's how I sounded to her all those years ago.

The truth is, I'm not really sure what she thinks of me. She told me she loved me then, but has since all but taken it back and claimed she was only being young and foolish. Then again, she asked me to fall asleep with her. And earlier today, she told me she never stopped thinking about me. We've held hands and been more physically affectionate in the last twenty-four hours than we have been in years, and it's felt so natural, but so foreign. And then she denied any feelings for me on the tape to Westerley. So, I'm really at a loss.

I stand up and leave my office, ready to go and check on her. I hope she's happy with, or at least accepting of, the plan I've laid out. Since it seems like she currently has no place to live, I'm hoping she'll let me use my resources to help her, even if it must be as a friend.

As I walk down the hall approaching her room, I realize I can hear her voice. I pause at the door. "I know. And I'll still be involved. I'll handle all the things I've been doing, you don't have to take on anything more." She pauses. "I'm not sure it's forever, but I don't know how long it will be either." After another pause, her voice is softer. "I know. But I can't. It's too hard. I need to take a breath. Mm-hmm… yes. Thank you for understanding. You've always been so good to me. I'll call you when I'm settled, promise. Alright, goodbye." I swiftly knock on the door once her phone call wraps up. "Come in."

I open the door to find her sitting on the edge of her bed. The duffle bag she had been carrying is open and appears to have been repacked and reorganized. "Did you sleep?"

"Yes, for a bit."

"How are you feeling?"

She shrugs. "I don't know how long it takes to fully recover from a miscarriage, but I'm doing better than I was yesterday. I hope you guys got what you needed from that audio?"

"We did. You turned out to be our greatest ally."

She smiles. "I'm glad. By the way, when did you punch Cam?"

I smile at the memory of my fist connecting with his face. "While you were in the bathroom before we left, I had some time. Are you upset that I did?"

"Maybe I should be, but no. He probably had it coming."

"How are you feeling about…" I'm not sure how to phrase it. The end of your shitty relationship? The breakdown of your ex-lover? "How the conversation went?"

She looks down, suddenly finding the clothes in her suitcase very interesting. "It might be hard to believe after hearing us talk, but our relationship was never so… acrimonious before. We were happy for years, or at least I thought so. This side of him is all new to me, and it makes me sad, but I'm not sticking around just so I can watch him circle the drain when he doesn't care to fix anything in his life, including us." She pauses, her brow furrowing. "Honestly, the only thing troubling me about the conversation is that I wish I'd gotten a chance to ask how he knows about your past. Does that mean he already knew about me and you before I even told him? How much don't I know?"

I've been wondering this myself, but I don't want to alarm her. "Rumors get dirty in the corporate world. He'd be far from the first one who's tried to blackmail me. But as you can see, I'm still here." And I'll still be digging into Westerley until every little secret he has is exposed.

"You are, unstoppable as ever." She smiles fleetingly, but then her expression drops, as does her gaze again. "Christian… thank you so much for how you've been there for me. I'm not even sure how I could properly express my gratitude. You've gone so above and beyond just in the last day, and I don't know how I could have done it all without you."

I take a few steps forward and sit down onto the bed next to her. "You don't need to thank me. I wanted to do it, all of it. And I'm sure you must have some worries about what your next steps are, given that it seems you're between living situations, but I've made some calls. Of course you can stay with me as long as you want, but if you're not comfortable with that, GEH has some apartments that we let out to visiting business associates. If you want one, it's yours as long as you need it."

Her eyes widen and her cheeks turn that shade of pink I'm growing accustomed to again. "Christian… wow, that is so kind of you. But, um… I'm not staying in Seattle."

I can feel the color drain from my face as anxiety rises in my chest. "You're… what? Why not? This is your home. All your friends are here."

She closes her eyes, shaking her head. "It… doesn't feel like home. It never really has. Look, I'm not sure what my long-term plan is, but I've been thinking about what to do next now that everything here has completely blown up, and… I have a ticket to England tonight."

Tonight. We're already out of time. "But… you have a business opening soon. Doesn't that mean anything to you?" My voice is sharper than I intended.

"It does. I spoke to Iris and I'm still going to run everything I've been doing, just remotely. I'll be back here, of course, I just don't know if I'll… live here again."

I'm taking deep breaths, but the panic just won't recede. "So that's it? You leave without a word again?"

"I'm not leaving without a word, and what do you mean, again? The last time I left, I thought we had mutually agreed not to see each other again because we weren't good together."

"You left because I fucked up! I'm doing everything right, and you still leave?"

She blinks rapidly in confusion. "Christian… until a few hours ago, I was engaged. Yes, I've behaved completely inappropriately to you, and yes, I admit, my feelings towards you are as confusing as ever, but one thing hasn't changed. We still don't want the same things. I'm not trying to hurt you, I'm just trying to survive this next chapter, and I can't let you just waltz in and save me, but we don't have to completely cut contact. I mean, like you said, I might have to be a part of a trial now."

I knew I couldn't get used to her here, but I didn't expect this level of desertion. She cares, but it's never enough. "Does no part of you want to stay?"

She opens and closes her mouth a few times. "I don't know," she finally says wearily.

Her eyes look sad, and I find that I can't quite meet them anymore. "Fine. Taylor will drive you to the airport. I hope you have a safe trip."

She reaches out and grabs my hand as I'm getting up. "Please don't think I—"

"It's fine, Ana. I've got the message. We will contact you if we need you for the case we're building." I shake off her grasp and leave the room, shutting the door behind me. I don't look back, simply because I can't watch her walk away again. Not again.

A/N: Sorry for the delay! I haven't forgotten about you, just been sick this week! It seems that this site is glitching again (shocker). Last chapter, I never got an email notification for the chapter or any reviews. So weird! Anyone else experiencing that? I'm checking periodically for reviews now so I should be more on top of things.