It has been several weeks since his proposal. I have to say that the least it did for us was prove to me that we have a rock solid relationship. Normally if one party dropped the question and the other didn't reciprocate… that would be the end of that relationship. However with Christian and I it was a different story.

I knew he wanted an answer. I could feel it whenever he looked at me intently, I could see it in his eyes. At the same time he knew that timing is an important thing and for once in his life he had fucked up badly. His timing was the worst.

Besides that obvious matter, I had another reason not to agree to marry him.

Since the day he told me about Leila and Sandra I cannot stop thinking about Sheila. If I'm honest with myself I was suspicious about the whole thing when she disappeared. But some part of me just never really wanted to acknowledge what she and I had gotten ourselves into. And secretly I always feared that if Christian got to the bottom of it he would abandon me. Not being worth the hassle or the drama.

Even now after being reassured he'd never leave me for this. Accepting that I have gotten myself into a highly dubious business that maybe doesn't shy away from abducting people when crossing the line, would also mean that Christian would never see me as his equal. I'd always be the woman he saved by whatever measures. Where does that leave us?

I'm confused. I'm losing hope that there will be a place or time we could be together without any baggage. And I'm scared I'd have to let go the love of my life if we can't find a way…

There's also the thing about Sheila's whereabouts that has been tormenting me since last week. I need to find her.

"Taylor?"

"Yes?" he looks up from his laptop, several sheets scattered around him.

"Remember you owed me one?"

There's a hint of a smirk. That's probably the only reaction I'll get out of him.

"Yeah. Sophie refers to you as 'Captain Ana'. She has a Marvel phase at the moment." That's actually really cute.

"Say hi to her, will you?"

"Sure." He says and resumes his work. I gather all my gut and take a step closer to him.

"Listen, I know you don't talk about your CIA days. But surely you know people who know people."

„Maybe. What's the favor you're asking?" he says without looking up.

„That this stays between the two of us."

On exception we are having dinner at my place. I don't know why but mostly we stay at his apartment. Maybe because he's in and out of his study all the time. Sometimes it feels like he's working 24/7, even though I know that's not true.

"Do you like it?" I ask after he takes a first bite.

He laughs.

"What? You never tell me how you like my cooking." I say.

"Actually I do. You are just too impatient as always. I'd wanted to taste it first before I give my opinion."

Guilty.

"It's delicious." He says before he winks and pops another bite into his mouth.

Relieved I cut into my chicken and am happy to see that it isn't dry. I remember when I made him breakfast the first time at his place. Wow. So much has happened since then.

"Are you alright, babe?" he asks and takes a sip from his wine.

I clear my throat. "Yes. Just a long day at work."

Christian just nods as if deep in thought.

"Have you decided on my proposal?" he asks and my mind begins to spin. "About the bodyguard."

Oh. That.

"Yeah. I don't think it's really necessary. It's not EEs fault that Leila is in an abusive marriage and we don't know for sure what happened to Sheila.."

Christian purses his lips in dissatisfaction.

"I'd sleep better at night knowing you are safe."

I take his hand on the table.

"Nothing will happen to me. We will find a way to end this Escort relationship. And then I'm truly all yours."

To my surprise he doesn't push the matter any further and resumes to eat.

"How much do you like your job at SIP?" he asks.

Weird question. I've told him in the past that working in publishing is my dream job.

"A lot." I say and resume to eat.

"Do you think you'd enjoy your work more if your boss was someone else?"

I know he knows about Jack and what a creep he is. But his question tickles some uneasiness out of me.

"Why? Please tell me you won't interfere in my career!" I know Christian too well by now.

"I was just asking about your work. Don't be so tight about it." He says defensively.

"Christian… " Don't act like I'm stupid.

"Anastasia. I'm not planning on interfering in your career." He says and I'm not convinced.

I stare at him for a while before I answer his question.

"No. I love my work and Jack doesn't change that. He hasn't been particularly creepy towards me. So I guess I'll just ignore that. Besides I never will be able to choose completely who I work with so it's better I get along with different kinds of people anyway. " Christian nods in agreement.

"By the way.. Talking of getting along with people. Elena has been calling me nonstop. I blocked her number." I can see a deep V forming between his brows.

"I'll deal with her." He says with a grim expression.

"You already talked to her when she wrote me that weird email." And it only ended in her constantly calling me instead…

"I know. I'll be more clear this time."

"Do you really think she'll let go of me just because you asked her to do so?"

I wonder what he thinks. Christian nods as if agreeing but doesn't answer me. Instead we eat in silence. After cleaning up and loading the dishwasher I hear him enter the kitchen.

"I'm taking over SIP." My head snaps up. What did he just say?! "The company was part of a greater deal which we made. I wasn't particularly interested in publishing but there was a bundle of companies involved and there were a few I wanted." He had a whole monologue prepared!

Oh my God.

"I don't know what to say."

"I know neither of us want to mix business with.. Private matters. I just wanted you to know it won't change anything. Neither your job nor what is between us."

"Except you'll be my boss." I say.

"Technically.. "

"Oh please, put a sock in it!" I blurt. Wiseass.

He has the audacity to chuckle to my impolite outburst. I push past him and leave the kitchen behind me. I've heard enough.

"Where are you going?" he asks, not so amused anymore.

"I don't know." I say and walk towards the door.

"Don't you think you're slightly overreacting?" he asks when he sees me putting on my jacket. I need some fresh air.

Overreacting? Well, maybe. But he's buying the company I work for.. I'll be the woman that fucks her boss. Nobody will take me seriously from now on…

"Christian, please. Just let me be. I'm so confused." I say when I feel his hand on my upper arm. He lets it fall down to his side.

"Tell me what's bothering you. Nobody at your work will know we are a thing. You can continue like before. I don't plan on interfering into your work place.. " he doesn't sound as confident anymore.

"I understand." I say but what he says makes me even more heartbroken. Are we going to be a low radar couple for the rest of our lives? Maybe he's already planning ahead and thinking of the time he dumps me and doesn't want too much attention on him dating an employee? Maybe I have read too much into our relationship and for him it will always be business that comes first.

All my joy and hopes, everything I imagined for us, collapses like a house of cards.

"Ana.." He says and cups my cheek in his hand. I look up at him leaning in, just a breath away from me. We kiss but it doesn't last long. "Please don't overthink this. I swear it isn't such a big deal."

"Okay." I say and feel this stinging pain whenever I picture us breaking up. Him leaving me.

"What is it Ana? Why are you looking at me like that?" I'm shaken out of my train of thoughts by his voice. I can't speak, instead of leaving the apartment like I planned to, I push past him and almost run to my room. When the door slams behind me I burst into tears.

I'm going to be the girl that tried to sleep her way to the top and failed because her boss dumped her. I'll be the persona non grata. My professional and personal life is dependent on one man and his decision to stay in my life. I never thought I'd make myself so dependent.

A small part of my heart tries to reason with me. Christian has declared his love to me. Proposed… to help me! Even if not completely out of love due to necessity… he never had such feelings for any other woman. That surely meant something right? He doesn't want this to be a short term thing anymore. But unfortunately I am also his only relationship in the classical sense. Ever. So God knows what decisions he will make in the future. Maybe he will change his mind after the honeymoon phase has passed.

The world has hundreds, thousands, of possibilities for him. All doors are open to rich, charming, good looking Christian Grey. But what does the world offer me after he leaves me? Mediocre Anastasia Steele with an English lit degree?

I hear him enter my bedroom after a small knock. I can't even look at him. It just hurts too much.

I love him. I love our life together and I love my job. Is it too much to ask if I wanted all of these to stay mine?

At this point I'm sitting on my bed, wiping away my tears in embarrassment. Christian kneels in front of me. His position suddenly flashes a imaginary picture of him asking me to marry him. Not to help me. But out of love. The idea of us united for a lifetime just makes me cry even more. I'm just the silly little girl who aches for this unbelievable man to want her for the rest of his life. So freaking unrealistic.

"Ana. I'm sorry. Please talk to me." Sorry for what? He didn't do anything wrong. I'm pretty sure it's his right to buy any company he wants. He didn't come after SIP on purpose after all.

"It's not your fault." I say and sniff.

He clasps both of my hands and plant a kiss on the back them. God, how can I be angry at him when he's so sweet?

"What's going on? I know you wouldn't be happy about my takeover but as I've said. It won't change your job or anything else. It's merely a change of name on some contracts and that's it. We can find you another job, if the idea bothers you too much."

Yeah, he doesn't understand at all.

Finally I look up at him. His grey eyes wide and expectant of what I have to say.

"What am I going to do?" I say and hope I once could turn off my ability to think out loud.

"About what?" he says, sitting up besides me.

"If you…?" I can't look at him. I'm a vulnerable, sopping mess. And I can't take whatever he will answer to that.

"For once in my life I want to get into your head and understand what is going on in there." He says, somehow annoyed.

What? That's all he has to say?

"Ana, please make me understand how the fuck you concluded that I'll leave you from what I said. I just told you I bought SIP, that's it."

"You said you want to hide our relationship at work." I sob.

"I thought that's what you wanted?!"

"Yes. I do." I say and press my palms into my face to cry.

"I'm so fucking confused." He says and stands up. "Ana, I love you. And you said you love me too. Isn't that enough to cross out your doubts about us?" I let my hands fall back into my lap.

"I just don't know…"I hate being so insecure. I hate that I want reinsurance from him that we'll be okay. Even if I cannot give him such a vow. I hate that he has captured all of me, my heart and soul. That he makes me so dependent.

"..that it will work in the long run?" he asks and his voice cracks a little. He leans on the window sill to stare out on the busy street.

"How can you doubt me?" I hear the softness in his voice. Forgotten that we were talking about SIP and jobs and careers. This was now about us. Only us. "Can't you see? It's you who has all the power. I'm devoted to you." He turns back to me, his grey eyes giving me a long stare.

"Ana, I've given you my all. Why can't you see how much I love you? I asked you to move in with me. For fucks sake, I asked you to marry me! "

"I love you too." I say, tiptoeing towards him and finally falling around his neck. This wasn't the best answer. Who am I kidding. Of all the things I could have said this was just the easiest.

"Ana, before you leave I'd like to a have word with you." I hear Jack say. I am staying overtime already and the office is deserted.

I wonder what he wants.

When I finish packing my bags and turn off my computer, I knock on his door. Hopefully it's just a quick word and I'll be out soon.

"Hi Jack, you wanted to speak to me?"

Jack is still sitting behind his desk, working on his computer. He looks up from whatever he was writing. I can't put my finger on it but there's something in his gaze that makes me uncomfortable.

"Sit down." I don't like the way he asks me to come and sit with him.

"Ana, I will make this short. I'm not very satisfied with the quality of your work. It seems like you've been distracted lately besides the horrendous number of days you have taken off. This is your first reminder and hopefully the last one. I expect you to up the game. If you know what I mean."

I'm completely taken off guard because if I'm honest I was working pretty hard and my dedication was unmatched. No one on this team was more accurate with their reports than me. I was always ahead of work, never came late, always stayed longer than necessary. To say Jack's words confused me was an understatement.

"Sorry, Jack. I wasn't aware of that. What is it exactly you're unsatisfied with?"

He stands up from his desk, walks all the way around and comes closer to me than it's comfortable. I am still standing at the entrance. His words were so unexpected that I didn't even think about sitting down in one of the chairs.

"I know very well what you can do." he says and comes another step closer to me which is definitely inappropriate by now. There is no polite distance between us. I take a insistent step back only to find myself bumping into the door. Tentatively I search with my hand for the door handle. He seems to notice my motion and slams his right hand onto the door blocking my way. My brain is screaming at me 'Run! Run!' but there's no escape now. Jack isn't a tiny guy I could fight, he is one head taller than me and very strong looking.

"What do you mean?" I ask to give him the benefit of the doubt.

"What I mean is you're going to give me what I want and you're going to shut the fuck up about it. Do you understand?"

Before I know what is happening, he pushes me flat against the door. "No!" I yell while he pushes his mouth onto mine. The button of my blouse flies off. I find his hand on my skin, giving me a tight squeeze. How the hell does he think he can get away with this? Isn't he afraid I will run to HR the second I leave this office?

"I know what you do when you're not working here. Fucking rich guys. I will keep that secret to myself if you take care of me." With that he pushes his groin into me and I can feel his erection which makes me so nauseous that I want to vomit on the spot. I push him away but he firmly grabs my wrists and locks me into place. I want to scream but now I'm so paralyzed by of all of this happening. How the hell does he know that I'm working as an Escort. Finally I manage to push him back and wiggle out of his grasp.

"What the hell are you talking about? Are you out of your mind?"

I manage to grasp the door handle and try to pull it open but Jack is holding it close. I'm contemplating really getting into physical defense. Maybe knocking him into his groin to get out of here. But there are no witnesses to what he has done to me and knocking him into his groin will only lead him to accuse me of being the intruder. I have to find a way to get out of here without making myself guilty.

"Don't act like I'm stupid! I know what you do, you can't deny it. And as I've said, you will do as told or someone will spread the news that you're a hooker."

At this point I have to accept the fact that he really knows something because he wouldn't be so confident to blackmail me if he didn't.

"How..?" I need to know.

"I used to be an investigative journalist. I know how things go." He boasts. Yeah, never missing a chance to show off his skills. Under different circumstances I'd say I'd be impressed by his talent.

Back to reality I still note I'm cornered by him, his crotch pressing into me.

"Let me go or I will scream down this place." I hiss.

"No one is here. No one will hear you." He says and grabs me again. That's it. Enough.

I manage to pull his pinky finger and twist it almost all the way to his wrist. He cries out in pain and lets go of me.

There's a camera on the hallway. I just have to make it there in time. Leaving my jacket I just grab my purse and run for the door. I hear Jack behind me cursing and going after me. The moment I open the door of the hallway I know I have entered safe ground.

He realizes the same because he doesn't follow me there. He's a creep but definitely not stupid. Harassing me on camera would be his own death sentence.

When the elevator door closes all the adrenaline rushes out of my system, leaving me a shaking mess. What the hell did just happen? Was this for real or just my imagination?

No. I could never picture him going so far and sexually harass me. How did he find out about EE? Shit. He actually can ruin my career. I slide down the elevator wall and sit ungallantly on the floor.

I don't know what to do.

Too soon I arrive at the ground floor and need to stand up and leave. I almost run out of the building. What if Jack follows me? I feel a little better in the safety of my car.

Oh God. My dinner with Christian. How can I tell him what just happened? He'll be furious. Who am I kidding. Christian is really scary when angry, I don't know what he'll do…

Will he believe me nothing happened.. What if he judges me? I look down on myself. I'm wearing black pants and a white shirt. The top button is missing. Nothing too daring.

Stop Ana! This isn't your fault. Even if I was all dolled up, this wouldn't be my fault.

Jack's eau de cologne still lingers in my nostrils stinging me as if I had inhaled a deadly chemical. I get out my phone and type an excuse to Christian why I cancel tonight's plans. Something about catching a cold and wanting to rest. He always prioritized my well being so I'm sure he won't be mad.

I'm on my way home when he calls me. I wait till I'm in the apartment to call him back. To my surprise he really eats my lie and even asks if he should come over to take care of me. God, I love this man. Somehow I manage to wiggle him off. When I put down the phone and the silence and security of my apartment surrounds me I feel the emotions crashing into me like a wave ashore.

Jack harassed me. Jack knows I'm an Escort. He blackmailed me and wants me to sleep with him to keep him quiet. I have lied to Christian. Again.

Sobbing I lie on my bed and cling to my pillow. After what feels like an eternity I fall into a troubled sleep.

When I wake up it's the middle of the night. My body is aching and I feel disoriented. I just realize I fell asleep in my work clothes. Disgusted I jump off the bed, peel off the duvet cover and bedsheets, including my clothes and dump them into the washing machine. After that I head straight to the shower.

The water is scorching hot, still not hot enough for my liking. I take the peeling glove and start scrubbing my skin until its pink all over. I shampoo my hair three times, only to still feel like freshly put out of a dumpster. So I take another handful of shampoo and start to scrub my scalp the best I can. When I finally step out of the shower I look like a dark haired tomato who sunbathed for too long.

Why do I still smell Jack? First I try to use my perfume but it doesn't change much. Then I take the small bottle of deodorant that Christian had forgotten when he stayed over and cover myself in his scent. It actually helps.

Now what? I just sit there, on my bed for what feels like eternity.

I can't go to work tomorrow as if nothing happened. Somehow that feels like Jack is already winning but I'm not strong enough to face him again.

As far as I remember Christian was planning on going on a business trip tomorrow. Maybe I shouldn't have lied to him and confided in him. I can't even talk to Kate or mum about it.. He's the only one who knows of me being an Escort. One part of me wants to be strong, do it on my own. Another part is begging me to go and confide in him.

I pick up the phone. It's almost four in the morning, he's certainly asleep. Although some nights he has been awake at this time, I've seen him playing the piano in the middle of the night several times. Mostly when we went to bed after a fight or a shitty day. But he doesn't answer me tonight.

Before I can overthink my decision I put on some clothes and grab my keys. I don't care that it's the middle of the night, I need Christian and I need to set things right. I hate that I lied to him.

When the elevator door opens and I enter his apartment I feel a wave of relief wash over me. I can't believe I have shut him out again when he's been my solace and comfort over all the things that have happened in the last few months. Even if he was the reason it always came back to him. Weird how he has become the center of my universe.

As expected the apartment is quiet, I wonder if Taylor has noticed my arrival though the security system. He probably has.

When I approach Christians bedroom door I can hear noises coming out of it. Is someone with him in there? I feel panic and fear rise in me. The closer I get the louder and clearer the voice becomes.

It's Christian. And he seems to be in pain.

When I open the door I see his silhouette in the shadows, he's groaning, twisting and turning in his bedsheets. How could I even question if he's alone.. I hate myself even more when I step closer to him.

"Christian?" I whisper and hope to wake him without frightening him even more.

"No." He groans and turns his head.

Tentatively I sit down on the bed and put my hands on his face. He flinches away and groans. Whatever kind of nightmare he's having, it must be an awful one. I've never seen him like this.

"Christian, wake up." I try again and softly shake his shoulders. At first he doesn't move but then suddenly out of nowhere he pushes me away aggressively.

"NO!" He yells while I hit my head on the ground. I don't even recognize his voice. He sounds so furious.

Ouch. That freaking hurt.

"Ana?" I see him sitting up in his bed while he turns on the bedside lamp. He look on his face is pure terror when he sees me crouching on the floor. "Shit. Are you alright?" he says and jumps out of bed. I note that his shirt his clinging on to him, drenched in sweat.

Unable to speak, I rub the back of my head, it stings so badly I feel the tears in my eyes coming.

"What are you doing here? I thought you were sick." he asks and helps me up.

"I had to see you. Why did you do that? I thought I was allowed to touch you?"

"That wasn't really on purpose.. I'm sorry if I hurt you." He says, obviously ashamed and rubs his face.

"I'm fine." I answer his earlier question. Yeah… another lie. I'm everything besides being fine.

We sit down on his bed and he leans in to kiss me. I'm hesitant to fully kiss him back. He senses my nervosity.

"My family knows not to come near me when I sleep. I once almost knocked Elliot's teeth out when I was a teenager. After that they just let me be, no matter how loud I got."

I let that sink in.

"I never understood why you made sleeping with someone such a big deal… "

"Dangerous affair."

Weird. That never happened before, actually Christian is kind of a light sleeper. Even more weird that I'm sitting here talking about this while I was harassed today and came here to tell him that. I run my hand through his messy hair, unable to say what I intended to when I got here. He senses my shift in mood.

"Christian, there's something I need to tell you. But you have to promise me to control your temper." Yeah, this will surely stop him from exploding. I'm positive he'll take an axe and drive straight to Jack's house to murder him if he could.

"What's going on?"

First I need to set the record straight. "Today… I wasn't really sick. Something happened and I needed some space."

"You lied to me?" There's a mixture of anger and anxiety in his voice. He shifts slightly away from me. Maybe, paranoid that he is, he thinks I'm cheating on him or worse…breaking up. For once I keep my annoyance at his lacking trust at bay, as I have no right to judge him here. I did him wrong this time.

"I'm sorry." I stammer "I promised to be honest with you. But I was so overwhelmed..." I confess.

He just stares at me which inevitably makes me lose the last bit of confidence. Why is he so cold? Can't he see that I came here because I need him. I fall around his neck and weep. As I thought he remains still and doesn't embrace me like he normally would.

"Ana." He warns as he's losing patience.

"Oh God. Christian." I sob and cling to his shirt. "He touched me everywhere. I couldn't run. He knows!" I splutter. Talking about it makes it even more real.

"Whoa whoa whoa. Slow down. Who touched you? Knows about what?!" he says, now realizing that he was completely on the wrong track with his preliminary accusatory thoughts. He tries to have a look at me but I cling onto him as if my life depended on it.

"Jack! Christian, he knows about EE!"

"What?! " he leans back to hold me at arms length.

I'm unable to speak, his anger just fueling more tears. Nodding my head, he slumps me back into the embracing position we were in. Finally he slings his arms around me to hold me close.

"Did he harass you?" I nod. "Because he found out about EE?"I nod again. "That fucking bastard! I'm sorry, babe. I'm so sorry." He kisses my head again and again.

"Christian.."I stammer but that's all I get out.

"Shh. It's alright babe. You're safe with me. I'm so sorry I couldn't protect you. But now you're safe with me." He repeats over and over again until I calm down my crying. "Ana. Are you hurt? We should get you checked." He says after a while.

"That's not necessary.. He didn't get that far." It's tough to speak when my breathing is still ragged.

"Alright. We should file a complaint for sexual assault at HR and the police. We'll end his fucking life and career." He says.

"No!" I blurt. "Christian he blackmailed me, he'll ruin everything. Our relationship. My career and future."

"Just to set the record straight. No lowlife scumbag has the power to ruin our relationship. What we have will never change."

That makes me cry again.

"I thought you'd blame me for… being a hooker and all. Having brought his onto myself.. " He's a mixture of fury and sadness and I brace myself for being scolded to even think that way.

"No Ana. This isn't your fault." He surprises me with his gentleness. "No one can ever change how much I love you. Do you understand Ana?"

"I feel so..."

"Shh. I'm here for you." We lay down in his bed. Saying that I felt better is an understatement. Christian always catches me when I fall.

"I'll cancel my business trip tomorrow and I'll take care of that fucking Hyde." He says out of sudden.

"No!" I blurt for the second time that night. "I'll handle that myself."

"Are you fucking serious Ana? You expect me to just watch you be assaulted by your boss while I have all the power to stop that?"

"No. Listen. If you jump in to save the day Jack would have already won wouldn't he? He would have even more information about me and my clients, he could blackmail you too for being connected to a hooker!"

"Stop calling yourself that."

His remark derails me. A hooker? But that's what I am at the end of the day. That's what got me here!

"He won't know what hit him. I won't personally escort him out of his office anyway." Mockingly he rolls his eyes.

"He will know that it was because of me and that's all it takes for him to ruin my career. Please Christian. Please don't do this."

"No. Ana. I can't."

"Please. Give me some time. Maybe I can find another way. Maybe find out how he got those information in the first place? His energy seems highly illegal at this point."

"You wanna dig for some dirt?" I just shrug, don't have much of a choice besides giving in and fuck him, do I?

"Fine. I'll set Taylor to do that. But you won't go back. You'll stay home. Here. With me." I sigh in relief that at least one catastrophe is averted.

"I won't go back. But I will stay at my place while you're on your business trip." I say in return.

"Are you fucking kidding me? No!" Great. He's furious again.

"Listen. You need to go on with your schedule. I'll be here waiting for you to return."

"I said no Ana. End of discussion."

"Christian... It took me a lot of willpower to open up to you because I knew you'd want to jump right in and save me. But I don't want you to change your plans because of me. Those people need you."

"You need me too."

"I do." I say and take his hand, gently stroking the back of his hand with my thumb. „How many jobs are dependent on the decision you're about to make on this trip?"

„Three thousand five hundred and seventy. " He mumbles unable to look at me and I know I have won him over.

I call in sick for the rest of the week. Jack calls me almost every day. I don't pick up, I mean what did he expect. I'm not going to sit there and listen to his blackmail.

However everything changes on Monday the following week. I still haven't made up my mind what to do with this wicked situation even though I had a whole weekend to think about it. I'm certainly not going to give in but at the same time I haven't got enough evidence to take Jack down without causing too much collateral damage.

Around lunch time I get an email from him. I hesitate to open it.

Hi Ana,

I hope you are feeling better. I've tried to reach out to you several times in the past few days. I just wanted to thank you again for being so open and forthcoming with me. Good news! I have contacted my friend from Seattle Daily and they're interested in publishing your interview. I have attached the preliminary version of the article.

I knew you would do the right thing.

Call me,

Jack

When I open the attached file it's a fake interview between me and him where I'm unpacking my story of working for EE. That son of a bitch!

He went so far as to blackmail me with the pretense of me dishing the dirt. Where did he get all of these information?! Oh my God. I'll be in so much trouble if this ever sees the light of the day.

I text Christian to ask him to call me when he's free. But I know this trip would be a busy one because he doesn't answer me right away. When he does, he answers a little too clipped while voices around him indicate he's between people. What did I expect. He's on the other side of the globe buying shipyards and saving thousands of jobs. I tell him I just wanted to hear his voice and let him be. I told him not to interfere, I wanted to handle this myself. Well, here I am, trapped in the corner. Maybe I should have, for once, just let him be my hero without giving him a hard time about it.

I definitely need to see a therapist sooner than later.

As if my day wasn't awful enough I see Claire's number from EE pop up on my phone. For a second I think about not picking up although that would only make things worse.

„Hello?" I ask and hope she'll just propose another arrangement which I'll decline for whatever reason and that'll be the end of it.

„Ana. I'll get straight to the point." Oh, I hope so. „You have benefited immensely from our collaboration. So far we didn't have any trouble with each other. Don't you want to keep it that way?"

„Of course." I stammer and am utterly confused where she is heading.

„Do I have to remind you of your contract? Trust and confidentiality is our highest priority." She says and her voice gives me the shiver.

„Yes." I say. Has EE found out about Christian and me? But why now?

„I don't know what has given you the idea that spilling your guts to a journalist would be a good idea Ms. Steele, but let me make this clear. We will take care him. You better snap out of it or there will be consequences. I'll have to fine you for all the trouble you caused. Won't be as cheap as the last time. " Cheap? She already fined me a month's worth the last time I forgot to "officially" schedule my weekend with Christian.

What did she just say. Take care of Jack? How? I'm utterly stunned. My mouth opens and closes several times before I manage to form a cohesive sentence.

„How do you know that?! Jack is blackmailing me. I didn't say anything to anyone… what do you mean.. Take care of him?"

„Just follow the rules. And there won't be any trouble." She says and hangs up.

For God's sake. I feel like I'm stuck in a spider web of secrets and threats. How did I manage to get myself in so much trouble.

How did EE find out about Jack? Are they monitoring my emails? My phone? What else do they know? What if they found out I've been dating Christian?

I'm so overwhelmed by everything that I start to panic. I want to pick up my phone and call Christian but paranoia is taking over any common sense at this point. The agency definitely is creeping on me. The real question is to what extent. I run to my front side window and see if any suspicious people are lurking around the buildings entrance. Yeah, definitely paranoid by now.

Alright. I'm losing my mind over here.

The things I know for a fact are.. EE knows about Jack and the fake interview. So they clearly are reading my private Emails. EE said they will take care of him. Whatever that means. Isn't that something the mafia says before they throw people with concrete feet into the lake? What the hell. My mind is making up stories now. Maybe they will just silence him with money to let go of me. Why does EE even think it's necessary to interfere in the first place. Why are they monitoring me?

So many questions… the only thing I'm certain of is I need to protect Christian and my relationship from them. If they haven't found out which I suspect they haven't, I won't give them any reason to ‚interfere' any further.

When Christian calls me in the afternoon I have to lie to him. Again. At least this time it's not because I have trust issues or am lacking in the commitment department. Actually I'm trying to protect our relationship from whatever EE is willing to do.

‚I'm looking forward to see you on the weekend as usual.' is how I say goodbye to him. I hope he does catch my unusual way of saying goodbye. Christian is very smart while being extremely sensitive, I'm sure he did sense that something is wrong. Unfortunately both of us have to wait till we see each other in person before I can confide in him. But what if he doesn't understand my secret message?

Storm is coming…