AN: Hello dearests!

I want to start by saying I'm so sorry if this story has been giving you any trouble (not necessarily the story itself-I have no regrets when it comes to any emotions you may or may not be feeling. Sry). But I did have a commenter say that chapter nine hasn't been loading for them. If you're still reading, Guest commenter/anyone else who has also experienced this, I'm so sorry that happened. I reposted chapter nine, so hopefully that helps. If it doesn't, not going to lie, I'm not entirely sure what to do. I've been uploading everything like normal, so I have no idea why a specific chapter wouldn't work for you. Personally, when I log out of my account and try to read this story, I get to chapter five, then it says there are no more chapters (lies); however, I can go back to chapter four, select the last chapter, and then keep hitting "previous" until I get to chapter six, then I can read on. Soooooo, IDK. Something like this has never happened with any of my other stories. But please, if chapter nine or any other chapter is giving you guys trouble still, let me know in a comment, and I'll try to find another solution.

Alright. Sorry for the long author's note. Happy reading, friends:)

Disclaimer: Ally Carter owns Zach, Cammie, and the Gallagher Girl universe.

Cammie's POV

"Sic 'em, Buster!" I shouted, and the Australian Shepherd ran to nip at the heels of the heifer trying to break away from the herd.

"Good boy," I told him as he trotted past, then I urged Rascal a bit closer to reinforce the line Buster had just secured.

A few drops of water landed on my arms, and I looked to the sky. Just above us, past the reaching boughs that tried to bridge the gap between the wide cattle path, was a blanket of gray, but not too far in the distance I could see the angry, black clouds of the coming storm. I estimated they'd be here in about a half hour. We were cutting it close.

"Nice job, Cammie Cat," Ryden called, and I turned just as he brought his horse up to walk alongside mine. "You caught that run-away quick."

"Buster did all the work," I said, then shot him a curious look. "Shouldn't you be bringing up the rear with Miles?"

He shrugged. "He's got it."

"I don't think–"

"Besides, he's on the phone with his girlfriend. Making plans for the weekend or something." He made a face. "I just can't look Miles in the eyes when he does his cutesy girlfriend voice."

I snorted.

"You think it's funny now, but just wait till you hear their pet names for each other."

He shivered dramatically, and I had to laugh. Did my friends ever cringe when Zach called me "Gallagher Girl"? My smile dropped. Did they? Did they think it was a pet name or just a nickname? Would they even consider us "boyfriend" and "girlfriend"? I knew for a fact that they'd never overheard us make weekend plans.

My reins fell from my fingers and Rascal stopped walking, but I hardly noticed. Zach himself said we never go on dates, didn't he? Had we ever even gone on a date that wasn't in the service of one mission or another? The brunch at a cafe in Paris had been for reconnaissance. The hike in Mexico had been to retrieve a "package" from a contact. We ended the nice dinner in Belize by dragging all of the millionaires at our neighboring table out in handcuffs. And I didn't know too many couples who went waterboarding just to deliver a message to an undercover Coast Guard vessel.

We'd never been on a real date.

"Oh my gosh."

"Cammie?" Ryden waved a hand in front of my face. "You okay, Cammie Cat?"

"I…yeah." I nudged Rascal into a walk again. "I'm fine."

"Right." He drew the word out. "Come on. You never lie to me, so it's gotta be something serious."

Well, I did lie to him. Constantly. But this was the first time he'd caught it, which meant all sorts of bad things, both for the direction of this conversation and my career.

"Just worried about the storm, I guess," I said.

He tsked. "See, I would believe that if I didn't know that you love thunderstorms."

He was right. I did like thunderstorms. What could I say? They were great cover for explosions, power outages, and bad hair days. But that wasn't the point. I needed to come up with a better lie.

And I was just about to when Ryden asked, "Is it Zach?"

I nearly swore. Less than a week away from the agency and I was already turning into an open book. I wondered if I could fax a letter of resignation to the CIA from my grandma's office.

"Sorry," Ryden said. "You just got all distraught looking when I mentioned Miles and his girlfriend, so I thought maybe there was trouble in paradise."

"No," I said quickly, truthfully. "No. It's not that. Not really. It's…"

"Come on, Cammie. I'm your oldest friend. If you need to get something off your chest, I'm here for you."

I looked away from his concern and watched the cows instead. The rain was turning the churned earth into mud, and it sucked at their hooves as they filed past. Part of me didn't want to verbalize my fears. Inside my head, they weren't necessarily insubstantial, but at least they were one-dimensional, and every good spy knows the truth has many sides. Ryden had been with us pretty much every waking moment for the past week; he could offer up a different perspective. Problem was, I wasn't sure I was ready to take another step closer to the truth.

And yet, I knew I needed to.

I made a clicking sound with my mouth, urging Rascal to go a bit faster so I didn't have to look Ryden in the eyes as I said, "It's just that…Zach and I have known each other for years, and…and I've liked him for a long time. I'm pretty sure he's liked me for even longer, but I don't know. It's, well, it's complicated." I rubbed at my temple where a headache was starting to form. How do I say this? "I guess I just…don't know if Zach and I—if we—are together."

The rain picked up the pace, and I urged the cows to do the same by pressing Rascal closer. Buster took the hint and circled behind us to bark at the slower members of the herd.

Finally Ryden said, "You guys seem pretty together to me."

I scrubbed a hand down my face. "No, I know. I'm not explaining this right. I know we're together—we have a relationship, are in a relationship. But I don't know if we're 'boyfriend and girlfriend'. We've never used those words. Plus, we've never really been on a real date, so I don't know if we're even dating." I chanced a look back at him. "Does that make sense?"

He pressed his lips but nodded slowly. "Yeah. I get what you mean now."

"And?"

I sat rigid, every muscle tense as I waited for him to say something. Five seconds. Ten seconds.

"So, you said you haven't been on a date, right?"

I huffed. What was it with civilians always needing to restate what had already been established? "Right," I said evenly, trying to hide my impatience.

"Have you ever talked about having an open relationship? Seeing other people?"

I breathed in sharply, making Rascal stop and back up a step. I leaned forward to rub his neck and whisper apologies. My agitated body language was making him uneasy. But I couldn't help it. Open relationship? Seeing other people? There was no way that was what Zach wanted.

Right?

I shook my head, both to protest and clear my mind of the thought. "No. No way. Zach would've communicated something like that to me."

He tilted his head, conceding. "Well, I guess that leaves only one option."

I did my best to keep myself relaxed for Rascal's sake, but my fingers still tightened on the reins as I anxiously asked, "What? What's the only option?"

"You guys are friends with benefits."

I gasped, but the sound was lost as the wind picked up and the sky opened to release a torrential downpour that easily pierced the sparse canopy above. It was then that we cleared the trees and the barns came into view. Jesse already had the cows filing inside, and when he spotted us, he started waving Ryden over.

Ryden sent me a worried look, but I shook my head and motioned for him to go. The black clouds were right on our heels and Jesse needed his help. We were out of time. Besides, there was nothing he could've done right then anyway, no comfort he could've offered me. The only thing that would help right then was distraction, so I shoved all of my troubling thoughts aside and got back to work.

AN: Thank you so very much for taking the time and energy to read this chapter! Y'all are the best in the whole world. Truly. If you liked what you read, let me know if an encouraging comment. If you didn't, let me know in a helpful critique. If any of my chapters are still giving you trouble, let me know in a desperate plea for help! JK. You're probs not that desperate for this story, but you can pretend that you are to give me a nice confidence boost;)

Hope you guys have a great week! Much love, Rachel.