Future Potter-Prince's
Chapter 8: Talking Options
Harry woke slowly, his eyes blinking open a few times to adjust as he realised that there was still a warm hand in his. He smiled and looked to his side, only for his smile to falter as he saw the look of pain on his soulmate's face.
"Sev, what's wrong?" Harry asked gently, rolling over onto his side so that he could look at the older man, his hand squeezing the slightly paler one.
"I talked to my older self," Severus said softly, though there was a roughness to his voice, too. One filled with too many emotions.
"Oh," Harry said, concern and fear filling him, "Is… Is the baby okay?"
"For now, yes," Severus said.
"Then… What did he say? You can tell me," Harry said.
Severus just looked at him and for a moment Harry thought he was going to cry, and didn't that thought tug at Harry's heart.
"Sev, please, tell me. I want to help,"
"I know," Severus said, his lips tugging up slightly at the sides, although Harry couldn't say it was a smile, "He, erm… he said that there was an option, something that we could do to help them, if… if something went wrong with the pregnancy again,"
"Oh," Harry said again, confused, and feeling slightly hurt that his own older self didn't mention it.
"Your older self didn't mention it to you because… because he didn't want to force you to do something like that. He didn't want to hurt you like that. But I said that I would tell you, so we can make an informed decision, together, before the possibility of it being needed arose," Severus said, his voice gentle and full of pain.
"If it's going to help our son, our baby, why would it hurt me?" Harry said, his throat hitching at all the possibilities.
"Our friend, the one who gave us the ritual to send the kids back, said that there is another ritual they could do. If… If something were to happen again… If we were to almost lose the baby again, supposing it isn't too late, our friend could do a ritual to… to send the baby to us. You… You would have to carry him for the rest of the pregnancy, he would be placed in your womb, and then… an hour after he is born he will be sent back to the older versions of us," Severus said, looking deep into Harry's eyes.
"Oh," Harry breathed, his heart stuttering in pain, "I'll do it,"
"Harry, we need to talk about this. We need to think about this. We can't just-We can't just dive right on into something this big, this difficult. Do you honestly think you would be able to handle going through however much of the pregnancy may be left, giving birth to our son, and then having to watch him disappear an hour later, having to feel him disappear?" Severus said almost desperately.
"N-no," Harry said shakily, "But he's our baby. He will be our baby, one day. If-if I don't do it, and then I somehow find out that he didn't make it, that our baby died, that our future selves had to live with that pain again, for longer than a minute this time… I wouldn't be able to forgive myself, ever. Not even when we get to have him the second time, hopefully in better circumstances, would I be able to forgive myself. I need to do this. It will hurt like hell, we both know that. But it's already going to hurt us when the others leave us. When we can no longer hold them, hear them, be with them. And this isn't too much different, is it?"
They were both silently crying by that point, but neither of them cared.
"You will have to give birth to him, Harry. You will have to go through the most magical, emotional, physical time of a bearer's pregnancy with him, and then lose him shortly afterwards," Severus' voice was rather strained.
"He'll come back to us," Harry whispered painfully, "And you'll be with me, right?"
"Always, Harry. I will always be with you. Especially through something like that," Severus said, squeezing Harry's hand.
"I want to do it. If they need my help, I want to do it. I want to help our baby. I know it will devastate us when he disappears. I know that. But he's our baby, I can't just let him die if I can do something, anything, to help. He will come back to us, one day. The others will come back to us, one day. You know when, or roughly when, they will be back in our arms. But we have to keep them safe. We can keep him safe. The kids deserve to go back to a healthy baby brother. Our older selves deserve a healthy baby. We can ensure that happens. We can…" he choked slightly as his throat seemed to constrict with the pain in his heart.
"Harry, I know that, no matter what you choose to do, no matter what we choose, even the possibility of what might happen will hurt us all. Neither of our worlds are safe yet. Neither of them. If you become pregnant with him there are still so many people here out to get us, who will be out to get him. There is no guarantee he will be born healthy. There is no guarantee that when he goes back to the older versions of us after his birth that things will be safe for him there. Their war might still be going on. No matter what we do… no matter what we do there is always a chance that things won't be okay. That our baby boy won't be okay," Severus said, his voice quivering slightly.
"I know," Harry breathed, his heart clenching again, "Nothing in life is ever guaranteed, though, is it? The war might not be over by the time our other kids go back home. There is still a war going on here, and we can't just hide in here every day for a year. Anything can happen. But we have to try, right? We have to try to keep them all safe. Even him. What if continuing to carry him might kill my older self? He, I, didn't look healthy. He needs time to heal, we need time to make things right in our potential future world. And we can't do that if you're worried about me constantly, and I'm too ill to do anything. Yes, something might happen if I become pregnant with him also. The world isn't safe for any of us. But we can try. We have to try. This might be the only hope, for any of us, that this might actually go okay. That he might actually be okay. That any of us might actually be okay,
"It's my body. It's my choice. I want to try to help us. I want to try to help our baby. It is going to hurt more than anything, but I need to do it. For all of us. And I want you there with me, through all of it. Please,"
Severus just nodded, pulling Harry gently close to him as they both tried to gain control of their emotions, and thoughts, and everything else.
"If I… If I do this, you're the only one I want with me when I give birth to him. And afterwards, for that hour we have with him, and…"
Harry's voice was muffled by Severus' clothed chest but Severus heard him anyway, his chest tightening with pain, "O-okay," he managed to stutter out.
They are silent for however many moments, trying to calm down, a few sniffles seeping through.
"We'll be okay, right? All of us?" Harry said.
"I don't know. I hope so," Severus said, rubbing Harry's back gently, "I know that I will do everything in my power to make sure you are all safe, and happy, and healthy. No matter what,"
"I know you will. And I will, too," Harry said.
They heard a quiet knock on the door and sat up, wiping their cheeks as dry as they could manage as Severus called them in. And in came the kids, still in their adorable onesies as they climbed onto the bed and dug themselves into their parents arms.
"Are you both okay?" Phoenix asked seriously, looking between them with worried eyes that just tore more into their already shattered hearts, "We heard you crying,"
"We're going to be just fine," Harry said bravely, smiling at them and kissing their heads as best he could, "How about I go and make us all some breakfast whilst you all get ready for the day?"
"But I don't wanna get out of this," Remi whined, gesturing to her onesie.
"Okay, but you still need to have a wash, don't you?" Severus said, a slight hardness to his voice even as he smiled down at her.
"Okay," she nodded solemnly.
"Good girl," Harry beamed at her.
Harry got out of the bed and headed towards the kitchenette, trying desperately not to think about what him and Severus had just talked about.
Of course he was going to do it, if needed. He couldn't just let their baby die when there was something he could do to stop it, hopefully.
But that didn't mean that the thought of going through the last weeks, months of pregnancy, giving birth to him, and then having to let him go after only an hour to hold and cherish him, didn't hurt.
It hurt more than anything he had ever had to do. And he knew that actually doing it would be a million times worse than just the thought of it.
But he would do it anyway.
For the sake of their family. For the sake of their future selves. For the sake of his own mind, heart and soul.
He would.
Hiya, how are you all today?
I hope you all enjoyed this chapter. I would love to know what you think. Is it going to be necessary for Harry to complete the pregnancy for his older counterpart? Will he actually do it? How will he and Severus react through it all if it does come to fruition? How about the kids themselves? And anyone else who may be joining the story shortly? I would love to know your thoughts so long as you want to share them.
Anywho, I posted an essay/petition where I (un)officially explain why I think I should be cast as my favourite character, Severus Snape, in the new HBO series, despite the fact that I am a woman. It would mean a lot if you went and read it, but no pressure. It isn't going to lead to anything, unless, by some miracle, it goes viral, but it was fun to write. It is on my AO3, Maraudering_Paige. Feel free to go and check it out.
Also, I am working on some Spotify playlists for my fanfics, so if you can think of any songs you think work with the stories as they are so far, or where you think they are going, or songs that give you the vibes you get from the stories, then please do let me know and I will give them a listen, then potentially add them to the playlists. If you would like to go and give them a listen as they are now then you can find me on Spotify under the name Maraudering_Paige. They aren't that long at the moment, but we are making progress and I will continue adding to them the more music I listen to and when I have the time to do so. But still, if you can think of any relevant songs then do let me know.
I have a Facebook group called Maraudering_Paige which you are all welcome to join if you would like to and are able to. It is where we can talk about Harry Potter, fanfics, life, share memes and more. It is also where I have somewhat of an update schedule for my fics and will be keeping you up to date on what I am working on, in regards to fanfics, original works, and more things. So if you are interested in joining then I am more than happy to accept you all.
I also now have a TikTok and an Instagram for my fanfic writing escapades. The username is maraudering_paige on both of them so feel free to follow me, and we shall see how often and what kinds of content I can post when I can. But it is another way for me to keep you all up to date if you don't have Facebook and such, and for me to spread the word about other things I am working on and things I want to do and such. So yeah, feel free to join me on those if you are able.
And finally, if you like poems, then I write them and I have started a where you can read 1 or more poems every month depending on how many I have the time to post. You also get access to information about my original books I am working on before anyone else. And you get your name listed in the acknowledgements section of any book I publish whilst you are a Patron. For as little as £1.11 (plus VAT) a month. If you would like to join me over there and read some rants I call poems, and get updates on original work, then you may. My username over there is Paige_Makepeace. No pressure, by the way, you certainly do not have to if you can't or don't want to. I understand. I just thought it would be a cool thing to try. Any money made from this will go towards helping me write and publish the original novels I am working on. Including the one I am hoping to publish first which is a slow-burn, witchy, bisexual/lesbian enemies to lovers book. You will also be able to read the first draft of the first chapter of my book, so, if you are interested in doing that then feel free to go and subscribe if you want to.
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I hope you are having an amazing day!
Kind regards,
Paige xx