AN: Thank you so much for your support!

Anastasia and Christian both have self-esteem issues and don't worry, I plan to make them work for it.

CHAPTER 6: A NIGHT

They were a heap of tangled limbs on the floor, Anastasia's leg tightly wrapped around Christian, who was pressing himself down to her body, kissing her neck, and touching her all around. Her eyes are closed, she is just trying to enjoy the feeling of his body weight on top of her, his smell around her, and she thinks about how much she missed him and how much she loves him.

"Christian, stop." Her voice is quiet but it's enough for him. Christian groaned and raised himself on his elbows, looking at her with grey eyes full of lust. She gulped down and ran her hands in his hair, his hair was longer, and as silky as it used to be. He took a deep breath and removed himself from her, sitting next to her on the floor with his legs crossed.

"As you can see, I'm always down to have sex with you." He chuckled but she could hear the tension in his voice, he didn't like that she stopped them. She also got up and leaned her head on his shoulder.

"Thank you. Really. But not right now. I need to go through this surgery first. And after that, we can. we can make a baby." He let out a shaky breath.

"It's such a shame, we could've started practicing." She smiled, he was a very sexual being, she remembered.

"I can't get pregnant now and I'm not on birth control."

"I have condoms." She tried not to think about why he had them.

"Not now, please." He sighed again and stood up. Offered his hand to her and helped her up.

"Ok, let's go back and sit. We still have other stuff to take care of." She felt bad for teasing him but she didn't expect him to jump to the gun like that. She wasn't ready to have sex with him, especially before sorting out her feelings. They walked to his living room and each took one corner of the hard couch. He brought the last version of the contract and they read it one last time, to make sure everything was like they wanted.

Anastasia felt very overwhelmed, seeing everything on paper like that. She was actively battling with the ugly voice in her head, telling her how she was a failure because she couldn't even find a man who loved her and wanted to be the father of her child, how she needed contracts like it was business traction. She felt like bursting into tears but gulped down a few times, to calm herself down.

"What's wrong?" Christian's voice was still annoyed but she couldn't blame him. She shook her head and said that it was nothing. "Anastasia, we have to be honest with each other for this to work. We can't keep expecting each other to read the other's mind."

"It's not about the contract. I just needed to have an internal pity party for a moment, okay?!" She snapped. She didn't like it when people forced her to talk when she obviously didn't want to. He frowned.

"You really need to work on your self-esteem, Anastasia. I hate the way you perceive yourself and I can't even imagine your thoughts on a daily basis. I want you to start therapy as soon as we get this surgery out of the way."

"I already agreed to that. But therapy isn't going to fix the failure that my life is."

"What exactly is a failure?" She snorted and pointed out the papers in her hand.

"This. I have friends from bachelors who are already married with 2-3 kids. And here I am, in my ex-boyfriend's house- no, you know what, that's not even correct, I never had a boyfriend, I'm in my ex-dominant's house, signing a bunch of papers because I'm incapable of making people love me. How am I not a failure?" Her voice was angry and full of self-hatred, he frowned. He couldn't argue with that because even though she never signed the contract, she wasn't his girlfriend, she was his submissive. But it felt wrong to hear her say it like that. He had trouble sympathizing with her feelings because the things she said about her friends, were the things that made him feel successful from his peers. His life was a success because he was a billionaire with his empire and other people from his bachelors were tied down to white picket fence houses with 2-3 kids. He couldn't understand why Anastasia counted this as their success, he thought the opposite. But he valued his balls enough not to say that out loud.

"You are not a failure because you are 25 with a grad school diploma and a steady job." She huffed.

"This is not a success."

"It is."

"It's not!" He groaned, he hated it when she acted like a petulant child.

"This is why you need to work on this. What if you have a daughter, do you ever want to hear them talk about themselves in the way you talk about yourself? A whore, a failure? These are the words you use for yourself when you are talking about yourself." He watched as her eyes filled with tears but he resisted the urge to take her into his arms. She needed to hear this, to get herself together. "You have nearly a year to fix those stuff or you are going to pass them directly to your child." She burst into tears then, her face in her hands, her shoulders shaking with sobs. He resisted again, she needed this, and he let her cry for a few minutes after she got herself together and wiped her tears.

"You are right. You are right. I'll get better, I promise." He smiled at her then and redirected her attention to the contract as they went over everything and signed. He didn't lie when he told her how serious he was about this, he considered all the possible scenarios, but he wasn't prepared for how heavy he felt when he signed the last paper. That was it. Done. He officially agreed to let her carry a child with his DNA.

"So, I should go." She murmured, probably uncomfortable in the tense silence. Or maybe, the heaviness of the signatures caught up with her, too. They said goodbye quietly and each went to their worlds, lost in thought.

Christian looked at the surprised faces of his parents and waited for them to say something. He wanted to talk to them and his sibling separately, mostly because he was sure that Carrick was going to be unreasonable and Mia overenthusiastic. He sat his parents down and told them how everything folded and his reasoning behind his offer to Anastasia. He waited until she was out of the surgery and recovering. It decreased the chances of them meeting each other before his parents warmed up the idea. Grace was the first one to talk.

"Honey, I- I don't understand. I thought you still felt something for Anastasia, you hadn't been with anyone else before or after her. Why not just be the father of her baby and try being together?"

"Mom, Anastasia might be my first girlfriend but she wasn't the first woman I've been with." He barely kept himself from snorting at the idea. 15 submissives and countless club visits would beg to differ. "And I don't have feelings for her. That was the reason why she broke up with me, she developed feelings and it was only physical for me." He felt bad, explaining their relationship like that but there was a truth to it, and Flynn suggested that he be vulnerable with his parents, so that they'd see that he was sincere.

"But why don't you want to raise your child?" His father asked, his face unreadable.

"I'm not cut to be a father. This is not what I ever want for myself and I'm okay with it. Anastasia wants to be a mother and honestly, I think she'll be a terrific one."

"What if you change your mind? This contract is ironclad, Christian. She can keep you from seeing your child legally." Carrick pointed out the contract he brought to show him that they were taking this seriously.

"I won't change my mind. I don't want to wake up screaming in the middle of the night, with dirty diapers, teaching tiny humans to use the toilet and how to eat. I don't want the worry that comes with being a parent, it's not worth it. Not for me." His mother looked at him with pity, he barely kept himself from rolling his eyes. Grace had a heart of gold and she believed everyone else also did so.

"Christian, that's not all that is to be parents. Yes, it's hard work but it's also rewarding." He snorted.

"You mean like the reward of your adopted son getting kicked out of countless schools, getting into fights, making you look awful next to your friends? Underage drinking, getting into bar fights? Brawling, coming home with a bruised face? Dropping out of the school you tried so hard to get him into?" Grace's eyes filled with tears, she exclaimed:

"Christian! How can you say that? You had a difficult time but we are so proud of you, honey." She got up from her seat and sat down next to him, rubbing his shoulder. He knew that she'd be bawling into his chest if he let her but he just couldn't help himself, he despised it when people glorified having kids. Despite their reassurances, he had always thought that his parents would've chosen to leave him at the hospital if they knew what they were getting themselves into.

"It's rewarding. Seeing your son grow up to be a young man who's not afraid to go after what he wants, despite his father's words about how he'll fail. To see him succeed, build an empire from scratch. To see him do his best to help, to donate thousands of dollars every month to make sure people don't go through what he did." He sighed. "Christian, we are so proud of the man you become. We are proud to be your parents. You know that, don't you?"

"Yeah, I know. Thank you." There was no point in arguing, they'd never accept what he knew. "But you enjoyed being parents because you wanted to be. I don't."

"Then why do you care about your bloodline?"

"I don't really know. I had this feeling of not having anything to show for my nearly 30 years on this earth. I mean, yes, I have my company but it's not the same as having a legacy. It makes me feel good, to think that when I become 50, I'll know that a part of me is out there, living their best life. And another will come from them and so forth."

"Christian, that is being a family. You are describing a family, you want a family." His father sounded like a man talking to a toddler. "Don't you see?"

"No, I don't." He was getting angry. This was like the long talk his mother gave him when he broke up with Anastasia, telling him that he was in love with her. Now they were claiming that he wanted a family, but he did not. He guessed that people saw what they wanted.

"Look, you are my parents. I'd love to have your support, especially because of Anastasia. Her father refuses to move here, Kate got married, and she has nobody else. I'd love it if you guys could support her and make her pregnancy as smooth as possible. She's willing to let you see the child and have a relationship with them. Of course, she'd be in control, but she's willing. If you don't want to, that's also okay. I'd like to have your support. But we'll do it without it, too. I'm a grown man, I don't need your permission." He crossed his arms, having said his final words. Grace and Carrick looked at each other, a silent conversation flowing between them. Finally, Carrick sighed and patted Christian on the shoulder, too.

"Okay. I don't think it a good idea to lay all your resources and money at Anastasia's feet like this but I also know that she's not the type of girl that would take advantage of you so I guess you could've chosen someone worse. Of course, we'll be there for her and the baby, but don't forget we are here for you, too. Okay?" Christian nodded. Relieved that he finally got this out of the way.

Telling Mia and Elliot went exactly like he expected. Mia was very happy that she was being an aunt and she was very excited. Elliot thought that it was a horrible idea for him to connect himself to his ex forever like this but he was also excited to be an uncle.

Christian thought that it would bother him if all his family wanted to be in the child's life where he wouldn't be, but the opposite happened. He found himself smiling at his siblings' excitement, happy that the child that came from him would have a loving family. He finally understood what Anastasia meant when she said that she wanted this child to be loved by as many people as possible.

Time flew fast, Anastasia's surgery and recovery were quick. Christian refused to let her go to her flat after surgery, he didn't trust her to be honest if she was in pain or something was wrong. So she moved in, to the newly furnished bedroom right next to Christian's. The room was huge, and it had a huge bathroom. She felt very out of place but a part of her was very happy that she wasn't staying in the submissive room. He told her that she was free to change anything but knowing the fortune he probably had spent on her surgery and her moving, she wasn't going to tell him how clinical the room looked.

Raymond Steele was a man of few words, he mostly observed the couple and wondered how two people could be so clueless and naive. He guessed that being young came with its own blindness. He just hoped that they'd get their heads from their asses before the baby was here. He helped Anastasia by carrying her to the bathroom a few times and cooking her his fried fish recipe but that was pretty much it. He saw her well, happy and excited, that was enough for him. He boarded his plane, content.

It was towards the end of September when her doctor told Anastasia that she was ready for the artificial insemination, physically. They could make the appointment as soon as they wanted. Anastasia blushed furiously when she asked her doctor if her body was ready to have sex. She was all professional when she explained to her that she could have sex, and if they decided to get pregnant naturally, there were a few tricks. Like laying down with her legs raised, eating lots of cranberries for health, etc. She also explained that the natural process might have taken longer to conceive and it was highly affected by her stress levels so she shouldn't rush her body, she'd get pregnant when she's ready. Although Christian's sperm count was high, that might work in their favor. Anastasia left the room with a face so red that Christian couldn't keep himself from laughing out loud when he saw her. He waited for her in the lobby, because she wanted to go by herself. He wrapped his arms around her shoulders while they walked to the car. He could guess that talking to her doctor about their decision to get pregnant "normally" might have caused Anastasia to go completely red like this.

"You look like a tomato." He said and laughed again when they sat in the car.

"Shut up!" He laughed louder.

"Did she give you pointers? I read that missionary was the best position to knock you up but maybe the good doctor told you better ones. I should have a copy of Kama Sutra in the library, lets check it out when we go-" She slapped his arm as strongly as she could, which wasn't much and he kept going. "My mom used to buy groceries from an Amish woman, I'm sure she has some positions you can drink. Or maybe I need to drink some stuff, you know, to keep my boys fast."

"CHRISTIAN!" She slapped him harder and faster on his thigh and tried to push him away, pushing his arm. He laughed harder and refused to move, she was a tiny woman and she shouldn't push him away if he didn't want to move. "You know what? I'm not letting you lay a hand on me. You can go and jerk off in a stupid lab room." She crossed her arms and started watching the road instead of looking at him.

He started playing with her hair when he could finally stop laughing. He moved her hair aside and kissed her neck. Feeling her tense, he caressed her back and kept kissing. Her tension melted at his caresses and kisses, she finally leaned into him with a sigh. He wrapped his arms around her while they looked out of the window together.

"You know I was just messing with you, right?" She rolled her eyes, of course, she knew. "You were just so cute, all red and flushed... I couldn't help myself."

"I know." He kissed her hair, squeezing her in his arms.

"What did the doctor say?"

"She said that it might take longer to get pregnant naturally. It makes sense though, it's faster in the lab. And she said that I shouldn't get stressed if it takes more than a few months." He nodded, he thought the same thing but he wasn't going to pass an opportunity to have sex with Anastasia, especially after nearly 8 months of celibacy. "She gave me a list of vitamins and other stuff to take, to prepare my body."

"Do you feel ready?"

"I can't wait." Her voice was full of longing. He tilted her head and kissed her lips, his face upside down. She giggled. "Spider-man kiss."

"What?" She looked at him, shocked.

"You haven't seen Spider-Man?!"

"No?"

"Ugh! You need to catch up with MCU as soon as possible."

"MCU?" Another eye roll.

"Marvel Cinematic Universe. You have so much to learn." He smirked, he enjoyed it when she got all smug and confident.

"Okay, Miss Steele, you'll teach me." She nodded and relaxed more into his embrace.

Anastasia thought that the first time they had sex after all this time would be awkward. It was like coming home, instead. His smug and know-it-all attitude vanished when he saw her in his bedroom door. She wore a simple white nightgown, from the extensive collection of lingerie she had in her new bedroom. The others looked very revealing and she didn't feel comfortable in a few sets she tried. It was Kate's suggestion, to not overthink this and just go to his bedroom at night. Well, she suggested Ana go naked but she didn't do it that way. Christian went from concerned to understanding the moment she muttered that nothing was wrong. It was like she went to the very first night she gave herself to him, the same shyness and uncertainty. Christian felt his heart jump, how vulnerable and worried she looked, but also how familiar. She was wringing her hands, looking down. He wished that for one second, she could see herself from outside. Her shiny and long hair, petite body, and gorgeous face... But he understood that she needed tenderness that night, she needed him to take control but not break her.

His kisses were gentle but so familiar, that she felt her eyes fill with tears more than a few times. He touched her like she was a doll that could break with the simplest pressure, but she felt so valuable. He took his time, re-familiarising himself to her body and hers to his. When he lay her down and took her, he felt his heart beating hard in his chest. He forgot how well they fit. He forgot how much he never wanted to leave her and stay inside forever. It was like coming home.

He squeezed her close when they both lay down, spent.

"I'll leave in a few moments." She said quietly. "The doctor said that it might be a good idea to lay down a little bit first." He chuckled.

"It feels weird." Her heart jumped to her throat. Didn't he feel the same pleasure and content? He touched the small crease in her eyebrows. "I mean, from the first moment I had sex, the focus was to avoid pregnancy. It feels weird to aim the opposite now." She giggled, her experience was very limited so she didn't feel the same weirdness but she understood.

"You are not getting cold feet?"

"Of course not." She nodded and burrowed closer to his chest. She didn't understand how his touching issues worked. She decided to ask.

"Can I ask something? Feel free to tell me to shut up, though."

"Yes?"

"You don't like people touching your chest but you have no problem with my head there. Why?" He chuckled and caressed her cheek. Silly girl, did she think that he let everyone cuddle him?

"I have no problem with your head. The others, not so much. I can only tolerate Mia because she was a harmless baby when I met her and she grew up to be a girl with zero personal space." He sighed when he looked at her face and saw that she was waiting for more explanation. "You hugged me like this one time in your sleep and I froze. But it didn't burn with everyone else and I guess I just got used to it."

"You feel burning? When others touch you?" He nodded, ready to close this topic. She sighed and squeezed him as tightly as she could. "I'm sorry Christian, I wish I could make it go away." He didn't comment, just enjoyed holding her.