A.N.: Sitting in a chair with a bowl of candy in his lap, our lovable vampire host sat quietly as he handed out candy to trick-or-treaters. "Hello, my children! Welcome back! Unfortunately I'm still trying to get my castle back so I'm still staying with Lord Drake. Drake's currently taking Igor out trick-or-treating while asking me to stay home to give out the candy. One benefit of being a hunchback is that Halloween is the one day where nobody bats an eye."

"Ah, Halloween. So full of spooks and haunts. It's full of countless symbols. And what is perhaps the most iconic part of Halloween than masks? Such a simple thing. You put on a disguise and become something or someone else. Our newest story involves a meek little healer finding a mask and discovering his own wild side as a result in a story I call..."

Hanataro Yamada's The Mask

Soul Society

"Hahahaha!"

Hanataro Yamada laid on the ground, cringing from the colossal wedgie that he'd received. He'd just gotten off cleaning duty and was heading to the shopping district nearby when he'd encountered the usual gang of Squad Eleven thugs. While the bloodthirsty squad always had it out for everyone in Squad Four, these men made it their mission in life to make the poor Third-Seat's life a living hell.

The tallest of the three, a thin man with balding hair, gave Hanataro a kick to the ribs. "You know what I love most about these losers? They can heal their own wounds after we're done with them. Makes them the perfect punching bag."

A muscular brute with dreads laughed as the helpless medic tried to crawl away. "What are you going to do? Cry to Captain Unohana? As if she could do anything while Captain Zaraki is our captain!"

Hanataro hated it but knew that they were right. While Unohana would gladly put these brutes in their place if they were at a relief center, the rule of thumb in the squads was that discipline was decided by one's captain. And it'd be a cold day in hell before Kenpachi Zaraki would tell his men to stop bullying Squad Four.

The third bully, a bald man fatter than Omaeda, laughed along with his cohorts before patting his friends on the backs. "C'mon. Let the worm slither back home for now. We gotta go report in for nightly patrol."

Hanataro slowly picked himself up off the ground once the footsteps of the three bullies faded away. Fighting back tears while dusting himself off, the medic cursed his own powerlessness. "I wish I was as strong as Ichigo or Ganju," he said while wiping the tears from his eyes. Part of him had hoped that being named Third-Seat would have given him some level of respect but to those Squad Eleven brutes if you weren't Captain Unohana then you were fair game.

Thinking about his beautiful captain reminded him of why he was heading to the shopping district in the first place. "Oh right! I still need a gift for Captain Unohana's birthday!" Checking his coin pouch, he was relieved to see that the thugs hadn't stolen his money.

The afternoon sky was turning orange by the time Hanataro made it to the shopping district. Unfortunately, most stores were beginning to close shop for the night, leaving Hanataro with little options. Spotting an old antiques shop that still had its door open, the meek medic slipped inside.

The old shopkeeper was slumped at the counter, soft snoring filling the shop. Hanataro thought about waking him up but decided against it. The old man might decide to kick him out.

Looking through the aisles of antique items, Hanataro frowned from finding nothing that might be a suitable gift for his captain. Walking over to a bookshelf in the back corner of the store, he found a collection of old kabuki masks. "Maybe I can get her one of these? She did always like plays-huh?"

A low beam of sunlight hit the shelf, causing a tiny green glimmer to reveal itself to Hanataro. Curious, the medic reached behind the collection of masks and found something stashed all the way behind them, as if someone didn't want it to be found.

From the bookcase he pulled out a mask. This mask, however, wasn't ornately painted like the others. Instead, it looked like it's been carved from jade, glimmering in the fading sunlight. The mask was the exact size of Hanataro's face with small slits for the eyes and mouth. Despite the plainness of its features, the mask enticed the Soul Reaper in a way he couldn't describe. It shined like a jewel in his hands while he stood there. In the back of Hanataro's mind, he heard a small voice, begging him to put it on...

A sharp snore snapped Hanataro out of it. The meek medic gasped and flinched in surprise, almost dropping the mask. "This looks nice. I wonder what it's made of?" He pondered for a moment about the carved mask. It felt lighter than it looked, and the surface didn't feel like stone. "I bet Captain. Unohana would like this. Better than nothing, I suppose…"

Tiptoeing over to the counter, Hanataro put some money on it next to the sleeping shopkeeper to pay for the mask before quietly leaving the antiques store, heading back to his quarters at Squad Four. However, during the entire walk home he could have sworn he heard something coming from the mask. But that would be ridiculous.

Right?

Later that night…

Squad Four; Hanataro's quarters

Stepping out of the shower, Hanataro sighed with relief. One benefit of being skilled at healing was that after a little bit of Kaido and a hot shower all his bruises had healed.

Still, the thought of those Squad Eleven bullies made the small Soul Reaper's gut churn with hatred. "I wish I was as strong as Ichigo… then I'd show those creeps…"

He walked into his bedroom; a towel wrapped around him. Continuing to talk to himself, Hanataro let out the feelings he'd been holding on. "What I wouldn't give to be able to show Captain Unohana just how I feel. I can be just as good a lover as everyone else," said the boy while sulking. "I guess I should wrap that-" Hanataro stopped himself short. "When did that get there?"

Laying against one of his pillows was the mask. Hanataro didn't recall putting it there; he'd set it down on the table before taking a shower. "Weird. How'd this get here?"

Sitting down on the edge of the bed, Hanataro picked up the mask and examined it some more. Despite the poor lighting of his lamp, the mask seemed to shimmer, almost enticingly. Despite clearly being carved from stone, it felt warm in his hands, almost alive…

Turning the mask over, Hanataro stared at the item's curved inside. It gleamed with emerald light, captivating his eyes. Again Hanataro felt the urge to put it on and unlike last time there was nothing to stop him. Unable to halt himself, the small medic slowly brought the mask up to his face…

The instant the mask touched Hanataro's face, his head snapped back and a cry of confused anguish filled the room. Hanataro's scrambled to get it off but the stone mask now felt like a part of his flesh. He could feel the object stretch around his face until it encompassed his entire face. Scrambling off the feet, his towel slipping off of his waist, Hanataro let out a muffled scream as he tried in vain to stop whatever was happening. He could feel the mask probing into his mind, changing him. Moving on its own accord, Hanataro's body started to spin around and around, faster and faster, until the medic disappeared in a miniature tornado. The mask glowed green as it changed Hanataro in both body and soul until…

The whirlwind came to a screeching halt and where once stood Hanataro Yamada now stood a thin, naked man with a bald, green head. The creature that had once been the medic grinned like a maniac after coming to life. Red eyes stared from his wide eyes, his lips forming a maniacal grin as he took a deep breath.

"Smmmmmokin!"

Spotting himself in the mirror, the changed Hanataro looked at his reflection. "Well, hello there, good looking. You look like you could use a day at the gym." Flexing like a bodybuilder, the green-headed man struck a pose. Hanataro's thin, tiny body bulged and rippled as if he was being inflated with air until his body looked like he was nothing but a mass of muscles and abs. "Now that's more like it! Hahaha!" Shrinking back to normal, Hanataro spun around again, a golden shihakusho wrapped around his thin body.

Cackling like a mad demon, the green-faced man opened the window. "Time to pay those assholes a visit. I'm going to show them what real fun looks like."

The green-faced demon sped out of the room, spinning into another mini tornado, laughing into the night.

Squad Eleven

The trio of bullies laughed while they made their nightly patrols. "So, what should we do to that loser next time?" asked the tallest of the three.

The muscular one of the bunch spoke up. "I vote we turn him into a human piñata."

Drinking from a bottle of booze, the man with dreads grinned. "I vote we use him for target practice. I always lose at darts."

"You're both wrong," laughed the leader. "We should-eh?" The other two noticed their companion stopping where he was and staring off in the distance. "Who the hell are you supposed to be?"

The empty street filled with mad cackling before the shadowy figure emerged, green lips stretched in wide Mayuri-esque smile. "Oh, I'm just out and about for a nightly walk. I thought I'd entertain myself with you bitches."

The three were disturbed by the man, both in appearance and demeanor. No sane man would willingly come up to anyone in Squad Eleven to and insult them like that. But then again, nothing about this man seemed sane to begin with. "Who the hell are you?!" The tall man drew his zanpakuto. "A Ryoka?"

"Oh? Can't you tell from my zanpakuto?" said the green-faced man, patting the zanpakuto at his hip. "I'm a Soul Reaper, just like you, although..." He sneered at them with devilish eyes. "I suppose I'm nothing like you losers."

Most men in Squad Eleven didn't need much incentive to start killing and these three were no exception. "Kill him!" The other two drew their swords and charged at the man. Grinning, the green-headed figure pulled out his zanpakuto and revealed its true form...

A banana?

The three bullies stopped in their tracks when they saw the giant banana attached to the hilt of the madman's sword. "Whoops! Set it to the wrong setting. But I guess you boys could use some potassium. You know what they say: a banana a day..." The man with the green head twisted the sword's guard, the giant banana swelling up like a balloon about to pop. "...keeps you in the morgue."

With a massive pop, the banana exploded. From it came a storm of metal swords that launched towards the trio. While the man with dreadlocks and the muscular man were able to dodge, their tall friend wasn't so lucky. The swords perforated him like a pincushion, the Soul Reaper dead before he hit the ground after his whole body was pierced. "Ahahahahaha! Now that's what you call a human pincushion!"

"You...you bastard! You'll pay for this!" The man with dreads charged at the monstrous Soul Reaper, only for the golden-clad man to reach into his robes and pulled out a huge dart.

"So, what was it you were saying about wanting to play darts earlier?"

Minutes later...

Something was wrong. Kenpachi Zaraki could smell it in the air.

He'd been heading back to the barracks after a night of drinking with Ikkaku and Yumichika, Yachiru over at a SWA meeting planning a birthday party for Captain Unohana. He was halfway there when he heard an insane cackle; the kind of cackle that he usually made. Then something happened that hadn't occurred for a long time.

The hairs on the back of his neck stood up.

Kenpachi bristled. He knew a sign of his body warning him of danger when he felt one. But usually it was he who was the danger to others. For him to feel like this, Kenpachi knew that something was going on. Out of both curiosity and excitement, Kenpachi headed in the direction of the laugh with his zanpakuto already drawn. "Hmm...I think this is supposed to be where those three idiots are supposed to be patrolling. What the hell are they doing?"

Rounding the corner, Kenpachi found out that the trio were busy being dead. His eye widened in shock. Laying in the middle of the road was his tall tenth seat, looking like a human pinata with so many swords sticking out of him. That sense of danger reared its ugly head again when he saw his eleventh and twelfth seats stuck to the wall, perforated by huge darts.

"Aww! If they wanted to complain about being bullied, they should just talk to Captain Unohana. That'll settle the matter."

Kenpachi whirled around and found himself staring at the strangest person. The small man wore a golden shihakusho and a green grinning face. "And just who the hell are you supposed to be?"

"How disappointing. I was expecting something a little gruffer. What, do I need to put on an orange wig to make you bring out you're a material?" mocked the strange man while he pranced over to the captain.

"Did you do this?"

"Oh no, that was some other guy. His name was Shit, Sherlock. And his first name was No." Turning to the side, the green-headed man grinned at the huge captain. "You have no idea how long I've been waiting to give you a piece of my mind."

"Oh yeah? And what might that be?"

To Kenpachi's utter disbelief, the man pulled out a can opener and clamped it to the side of his head. It was a surreal side to watch the stranger open his head up like a can of tuna. Opening his cranium up, the man took a piece of his brain and hurled it at Kenpachi. "There you go! Ahahahahah!" He closed his skull, the cut disappearing like nothing had happened.

"What the hell are you?!"

"Oh don't worry, I'm not part of Mayuri's department." He cockily grinned at Kenpachi. "Do I look like I'm as crazy as that whacko?"

"You're going to pay for what you did to my men..."

"Oh, you wanna tussle? Well then..." The man spun around in another mini tornado, reappearing in red and gold pants and boots, a bandanna and a white horseshoe moustache. "WHAT'CHA GONNA DO, BROTHER?!"

Kenpachi didn't hesitate. He swung his sword with every intention in cutting this weirdo down to size. The mystery freak was faster than he'd anticipated, easily jumping out of the way. "Slippery little freak, aren't you?"

"Says the muscle freak," laughed the looney man. "Always picking on people who couldn't stack up to you. Now it's your turn to fight outside your weight class!" From his robes he produced a tire pump, sticking the tube in his mouth and pumping hard.

Kenpachi thought he was watching a cartoon as the green-headed man started to blow himself up, his muscles bulging and expanding until he was as big as Komamura and nothing but muscle. "So what if you can get big? I've killed bigger!"

The captain lunged for the freak, his sword arching in the air. With speed that belied his overly muscular frame, the green-headed man hit him with a superkick and sent him flying into the air. "Here's a little parting gift from me to you!"

Kenpachi looked down and saw the man speeding toward him through the air. Except...he suddenly had black spiky hair and was wearing an orange gi. "What the hell are you?!

The man gave no answer, merely putting his wrists together. "Kamehameha!"

Firing at point-blank range, the monster blasted Kenpachi away. The captain screamed as he was blasted all the way to the Sokyoku Hill, hitting the side of it with a thunderous impact. "Aww, he's still in one piece. Should have used the Spirit Bomb. Wait, no, that never works..." said the green-faced man, his hair becoming bald again and his clothes turning back to the gold shihakusho.

Hearing voices in the distance, he frowned. "More cannon fodder. Guess it's time to skedaddle. I need to go give my captain her birthday gift anyway. But first, let's have some more fun. So long, boys!" Disappearing in another whirlwind, the maniac sped away while laughing into the night.

Later that night...
Squad Four

Isane sat on the wooden rampart, looking up at the moon when her ears perked upon hearing the sound of butterfly wings. "Captain!" shouted the lieutenant when she saw a black butterfly

Sitting at her desk, Unohana got up and stepped out of her quarters. Holding out her hand, she let the Hell butterfly float over to her finger and relay its message. "This is troubling."

"What is it?"

"There are reports of a man with a green head causing chaos around the Soul Society. Go and alert the others and patrol the area. Send me a message if you find anything."

"Yes ma'am."

Isane disappeared with a burst of Flashstep, leaving Unohana alone. "Good. Now that my lieutenant is out of danger, you can come out now."

A creeping snicker filled the garden in front of Unohana's barracks. Stepping into a moonlight was a man unlike any Unohana had ever seen in her incredibly long lifetime. "Well now, I was looking to find a leading lady," said the stranger with a green head and a golden shihakusho. "And then I remembered I forgot to get you a birthday present. So I decided to come here and give you a night you'd never forget."

"And I assume you're the one who murdered those men from Squad Eleven?"

A bizarre game show sound came out of nowhere. "We have a winner! I gave those bitches everything they deserved. Now it's your turn."

Unohana scowled, her hand reaching for her zanpakuto. This strange man, he seemed rather familiar. His thin build reminded him of her Third-Seat, Hanataro, but there was no way this could possibly be him. 'What on earth is he? His spiritual pressure is nothing like I've ever witnessed. Is he one of Mayuri's creations? Or Kisuke Urahara's? Aizen's? His entire head is green and looks nothing like a Hollow's mask. I need to contain him until I can call for help.'

Unohana didn't hesitate, lunging forward and drawing her sword. She predicted that the green-headed man would draw his to defend or make some effort to avoid her strike. Instead, she watched as her zanpakuto cut through the intruder with ease and bifurcated him in one simple motion. "Yow! Now that's rude!" yelled the man, both halves of him grinning. "I thought you were the one who was supposed to be getting split in two."

Putting his hands on his head, the two halves of the green-headed man literally pushed himself back together. "Well, now you've gone and given a bad case of the splits. It's so bad I'm going to...going to...ACHOO!"

The man sneezed with all the force of a typhoon. Unohana brought her arms up to guard herself, only to feel her shihakusho and her Haori blasted off her, leaving her naked in front of the green-headed man. 'What the hell is this thing? It's like fighting a cartoon!'

"Oooh lah lah! Hot damn! I always knew you had a body!" The man's eyes popped out of his head while lustfully staring at the beautiful woman before him. Unohana always hid her figure behind her loose uniform, so most people didn't realize the voluptuous body she was packing underneath them. Her hourglass figure almost seemed to shimmer in the soft moonlight, her breasts just as big as Yoruichi's and her ass bigger than Rangiku's. Instantly the stranger's popped out eyes turned her womanhood, hidden behind a bush of black hair.

Unohana quickly covered her naked tits and womanhood, a deep blush on her face. Looking back up, she saw that the man was gone, his gold shihakusho fluttering to the ground as if he'd literally just jumped out of it. Hands reached from behind her, grabbing her wrists. With a simple squeeze to her wrist, the now naked green-headed man forced her to let go of Minazuki, the zanpakuto clattering to the ground. "Don't shiver, baby. I promise it's going to be better in a few moments."

"You...freak..." Unohana's eyes glared at him with merciless bloodlust, her Yachiru personality starting to slip through her soft façade. If this monster thought that he was going to have his way with her without a fight, then he was sorely mistaken. "Nghh! Hado number fif-OH GOD!"

Without warning the man suddenly grew a third arm and shoved two fingers right up her cooch. Unohana's eyes widened, and she trembled in his grip while he fingered her, her legs starting to shake. It'd been so long since she'd been with a man that she'd forgotten what a man's touch felt like. It didn't help that the monster knew exactly where to finger her, his fingers finding her sweet spot easily.

"Shhh...don't be so tense. Let's loosen you up...why don't I show you something good? This action figure comes complete with Vitruvian Man arms."

From his body sprouted another arm, giving him a grand total of four. Two of his hands let go of her wrists, knowing that he had the powerful captain right where he wanted her. Unohana let out another unwanted moan when his hands cupped her tits, thumbing her hard, pink nipples. His free hand sneaked down her backside until his fingers found her asshole. Another gasp escaped Unohana's soft lips when she felt her backdoor get invaded.

The naked captain was becoming putty in the freak's hands. Already her pussy was becoming sopping wet, and her breasts became hot from his perverted touch. Then, the stranger upped the ante. "Oh my god! Ah! Ahhhh!" Unohana threw her head back and howled with pleasure when his four hands suddenly started vibrating, her body shaking as the ecstasy coursed through her like lightning. Through clenched teeth, she moaned, "I'm cumming! Stop! Noooo!"

The ground beneath her feet became soaked when her pussy gushed around his fingers, the green-headed man snickering with glee from the captain's O-face. Pulling his vibrating fingers out of her holes, the naked, green-faced freak picked up the captain when her legs started to fail her.

When the haze disappeared from her eyes, Unohana found herself staring up at her ceiling and realized she was lying on her bed, her attacker grinning down at her while putting her legs on his shoulders. "What are you-" She was cut off when her eyes looked down and she saw his cock, her jaw hanging from the sight of it.

The man's genitals also seemed to reflect his cartoony nature. It didn't look like he had a cock but more like a meat log between his legs, the head of his cock a matching green too. "Don't worry, baby. It's ribbed for your pleasure." As if on command, multiple bumps sprouted all over his cock, making him look like a crazy sex toy. "Take a deep breath, captain. I'm about to break your bed."

Unohana had no opportunity to say anything, her back arching when she felt him slam into her tight hole. "Nghh! Fuck! You're too big!" Her eyes darted towards her quarter's door. If Isane came back at any time then..."

"Oh don't you worry. I put up an invisibility Kido around your room that'll mask how loud you're going to get," said the grinning fiend. Gripping Unohana's soft, plump thighs, he started to piston into her tight hole faster and harder. The bed rocked like an earthquake was going on as Unohana was fucked. The once deadly captain was reduced to nothing but a moaning whore at the hands of this madman. Leaning forward, he put her in a mating press. Despite his thin physique, he felt just as heavy as Kenpachi or Komamura.

"Ah! Ahh! Ohhh!"

"Damn! You're tight! I should've paid you a visit earlier if you were this desperate for cock!"

"I'm not...desperate, you sick...ahhh!"

"What? I can't hear you over loving my cock. Come here and give me a kiss." He puckered his lips and gave her a sloppy kiss, his tongue worming its way into her mouth.

Unohana melted into the kiss, her toes curling as another climax threatened to take what was left of her mind. "Mmmmmh!" Toes curling, the captain moaned into her attacker's lips while she climaxed around his cock. The way the bumps on his cock was too much for the woman, hitting all of her sweet spots at once.

Just when Unohana thought she couldn't take any more, the madman had more up his sleeve. Her blue eyes widened when she felt something poke at her asshole, realizing that the stranger had grown a second cock. "This little buddy is jealous of his friend. Let's find him a home, shall we?"

A cry of pain filled the room when Unohana's asshole was claimed. She had no time to adjust before he started to fuck her harder, the bed's legs snapping like twigs and the bed crashing to the floor. "Woohoo! Now this is a birthday bash!"

Time seemed meaningless for Unohana. The green-headed madman fucked her in both holes for what seemed like hours. Never had she climaxed so hard or so frequently. Eventually, even her attacker reached the end of his rope.

"Yeehaw! Here it comes!" Grinning manically, the green-headed man threw his head back and stuck out his tongue while he let loose, filling both of Unohana's holes to the brim, the woman's belly expanding until she had a cumflated belly. "Whoo, I was really back up, wouldn't you agree? Eh? Captain? Hello?"

To the man's disappointment, the captain had passed out, losing consciousness halfway through being creampied. "Eh, I guess I was too much for her. I...I..." Exhaustion started to take hold of the man and he pulled out of Unohana, lying down next to her. "I think I'm going to rest my eyes...for a moment..." Lying down next to her, he laid his head on her pillow and started snoring loudly while lying next to his victim...

The next morning...

"Zzzzzz..."

The morning sunlight hit Hanataro's face, waking him up. "Eh? What happened? Where am I?" He sat up and nursed his aching head. He remembered the beating he'd gotten from his bullies yesterday, going to find a birthday gift from Unohana, then putting on the mask and then...

His memory caught up with him and the meek medic turned white as a sheet when he realized what he'd done while under the mask's influence. "Oh my god! What have I done?!"

"Well, you murdered three Squad Eleven members, you attacked Captain Zaraki and left him in critical condition, then you went on a rampage that destroyed a lot of property. Oh and, my personal favorite, you assaulted your commanding officer and raped her all night long."

The blood in his body turning to ice, Hanataro turned his head and saw Unohana sitting in a chair, fully dressed and looking like she was deciding which limb of his she wanted to cut off first. "C-Captain! I swear, I didn't know what I was doing! I didn't...I would never-"

Unohana held up a hand, silencing her subordinate. "I am aware. It was obvious you weren't yourself last night. I'm going to go out on a limb and speculate this was the reason?" She held up the jade mask. "It was lying next to you when I woke up. I can only guess that's why you became a chaotic madman last night."

"Yes, Captain. I... I'd got it at a shop because it was going to be a birthday gift for you. Then I felt compelled to put it on and then...everything just spiraled out of control from there."

"I see..." Looking down at the mask, Unohana inspected it and turned it over, staring at the inside of it. "Well, obviously we are going to have to keep this between us. If the Head-Captain found out about this, you'd be executed for sure, regardless of the circumstance. And we cannot let Captain Kurotsuchi get his hands on this otherwise more disaster could befall the Soul Society." Looking back up at Hanataro, she scowled at him. "But I hope you know what this means, Hanataro."

"What, Captain?"

His sense of danger ramped up to eleven when the csmirked at him before slapping the mask to her face. To his horror he watched as his captain disappeared in a whirlwind before reappearing. She stood before Hanataro naked, her clothes flying across the ruined room. Her braid was also undone, letting her black hair fall down her bare back and shoulders. The green-faced Unohana leered at Hanataro and cackled insanely from the power she now possessed.

"It means payback's a bitch and so am I!" she shouted before pouncing onto the boy...

The End

A.N.: "Now that's a terrifying ending if ever there was one. So long, my children. Until next time!" Our host turned to see his hunchback coming up the steps. "Oh hey, Igor. You get a good haul this year?"

"Indeed, sir." Igor held up the full bag of candy he had.

"Sweet. I call dibs on the snickers," said the vampire as his servant sat down next to him and shared some of his Halloween candy with him.