The Way It Was

by dixiekittyva

One-Shot Songfic Inspired By The Way It Was by The Backstreet Boys - His hand gripped her slim waist as it had all those years before and the past came flooding back to him… They'd been standing in almost the exact same spot. So much had changed, yet so much remained the same. This time instead of saying goodbye, this was a homecoming, a promise of so much more to come.

You kiss a little different now
You changed your hair, I like it now
And baby, your body still feels the same
And soon I'll be lying on the floor, picking up the pieces
Drinking it away, pretending I don't need ya
But right now, I'ma hold you like nothing has changed

Freddie was amazed at how different everything felt, but yet at the same time exactly how he remembered it. It had been over a decade since their lips had truly connected. The super awkward kiss they'd shared when they'd been cornered by fans (and his mother) while onion picking didn't count. But this, the feel of her against him, this felt familiar but completely new all at the same time.

Her kisses felt different, less timid than they once were, but still full of the enthusiasm he remembered. Where she once was unsure and inexperienced, now was confident and exploring. While she'd always been the one to initiate their kisses, she'd previously been rather shy. Now, she was unabashedly hungry for him. Her kisses had always left him a little dizzy afterward, but now he was downright drunk on her. There was simply no other way to explain it.

His hand gripped her slim waist as it had all those years before and the past came flooding back to him… The warmth and feel of her against his skin when his fingers flexed and tightened on her hip. They'd been standing in almost the exact same spot. So much had changed, yet so much remained the same. This time instead of saying goodbye, this was a homecoming, a promise of so much more to come.

They were older and, hopefully, quite a bit wiser… Experienced enough to not make the same mistakes of the past all over again.

When they'd last been here like this, he'd been shorter and barely needing to shave, but he'd been so damn hopeful… He was so young and naïve. They both were. But the world had taught him a lot in the past decade. From getting his heart ripped out in Italy to his two failed marriages, he'd been through the ringer. He might be a bit cynical now, but when it came to her he would try to be optimistic… Cautiously optimistic.

She was the same girl she'd always been. She still had that irresistible innocence about her… No matter how bad the world got, she would always see the bright side of it. There was never a rainy day in her world, even if they did live in Seattle.

She'd lightened her hair, losing the jet black he'd spent countless hours fixating on, opting now for a chestnut with blonde highlights. He couldn't deny that it suited her, but it seemed to signal the end of their youth… Leaving for Italy one way and eventually returning the same, yet different. The end of an era.

But essentially, she was the same as he'd remembered her and that was what frightened him. She had broken him before; she could completely demolish him this time around. It had taken him a long time to heal from the wounds she created; if he let her, this time she might just finish him off.

I'm going crazy over you (Hey, hey, hey, hey, over you)
Over you again, yeah (Over you)
It's never gonna be the way it was (Ha, ha, ha, ha)
It's never gonna be the way it was
And it's so crazy, what you do (Hey, hey, hey, hey, what you do)
What you do to me (What you do)
This isn't how I remember us (Ha, ha, ha, ha)
It's never gonna be the way it was, Oh

No matter how much he tried to deny it, he'd never stopped loving her. Even through multiple relationships, two marriages and subsequent divorces, it had always been her. Her memory had been like a ghost haunting his love life. He'd thought he'd moved on and gotten past everything they'd been through, but thoughts of her always lingered… Through every good and bad moment, she always frequented his mind and heart, seemingly lying in wait, never allowing him to truly give himself fully to another.

It was as if he'd imprinted on her. He had no say in where his heart lead him, no matter how much he fought it. She held so much power over him and didn't even know it. Or if she did, she didn't care. He belonged to her on the deepest of levels, whether or not she wanted him to. It was so basic, almost primal… He was hers on a spiritual level.

He'd spent years keeping the promise he'd made to her in the hallway outside of her apartment nearly twenty years before… He'd been in love with her and was living with the constant pain of her not feeling the same. He'd learned to deal with the pain, to not let it rule him…. To be around her without his heart squeezing to the point he feared it might end him. He'd grown over the years and, as such, the pain had remained more as a constant ache than the stabbing pain it once was. It was like how one might deal with arthritis, but deep in his chest rather than his joints.

It's a shot to my veins, lying in your bed
Never thought I'd be back with you again
So, do your worst, 'cause you know that I'll always forgive you
Guess I will, guess I will

To say he'd been surprised when he found her waiting for him in the studio earlier that evening would be an understatement. Then her declaration of finally feeling the same way as him? He been sure he was dreaming. There was no way that could be real.

But now that he has her in him arms, naked and sleeping peacefully… He was positive Spencer must have spiked that disgusting drink. Or maybe he'd been run over again while he walked the city streets trying to calm his anger over her recreating that fateful afternoon and making him relive his utter humiliation and this was in fact heaven. It really was the only explanation.

He thought back over the past few hours and then the past few days. How had they ended up here? They'd been recreating such terrible memories this past week and somehow that translated into her falling for him? He was utterly confused, but he wasn't dumb enough to question it.

Maybe Pearl had been right and had seen something he either hadn't been able to or had been simply downright unwilling to. After their past, could anyone really blame him?

Carly snuggled tighter into his chest in her sleep and he smiled. Being with her was nothing like he'd imagined all those years ago, it was so much better. Granted, in the early years he'd been a virgin with a somewhat limited imagination, but even his much more experienced, creative mind couldn't have prepared him for what they had shared. Naturally, there'd been some awkwardness that only knowing someone practically your whole life before finally taking that step could achieve, but once they'd gotten past that they found their stride and quickly got lost in each other.

If someone had told him that this could ever happen after he'd returned from Italy, he would've punched them for attempting such a sick and cruel joke. Even thirteen-year-old Freddie never truly thought this was a real possibility, regardless of how confident of their future he'd always appeared.

Even in his moment of bliss, Freddie couldn't keep the dark thoughts at bay for long. Would she change her mind again? Was this a gut reaction to him storming off the previous night? Was it just her fear-driven attempt to keep him from leaving her? Deep down he knew better, but decades of hurt kept him second guessing everything. If there was anything Fredward Benson was not, it was lucky.

Regardless of what the next day brought; he would never regret tonight. Even if this one night was all he would ever get, it was worth it. For one night he got to be everything to her… For one night she truly wanted him and shared herself in a way he knew he would never truly recover from... For one night he knew what it felt like to be loved by Carly Shay.

He'd thought he'd had pretty good sex before, but she blew it all out of the water without even trying. It wasn't even so much what they did, but more of just being them, finally being together. Maybe it was the years of build up that heightened everything, but never before had someone's touch shaken him to the core. Never before had anyone ever trusted him as much as she did him… it was a pretty powerful feeling.

No matter what happened come daylight, this would always remain the greatest night of his life. For however brief a moment it may be, he got to finally be with the woman he loved.

I'm going crazy over you (Hey, hey, hey, hey, over you)
Over you again, yeah (Over you)
It's never gonna be the way it was, oh (Ha, ha, ha)
It's never gonna be the way it was
And it's so crazy, what you do (Hey, hey, hey, hey, what you do)
What you do to me, oh yeah (What you do)
This isn't how I remember us (Ha, ha)
No, it's never gonna be the way it was, oh (Ha, ha)

The next morning Freddie woke up relaxed and completely content, but he didn't open his eyes. He was afraid that the previous evening had been nothing more than a dream. If so, it had been the best dream of his life and he didn't want to wake up. He could tell that he was alone in the bed and that did little to reassure him. Even being surrounded by her scent didn't calm his nerves, he was sure his mind was just playing tricks on him. He knew her intoxicating aroma so well it wouldn't take much for his imagination to fool him into thinking it was real.

It wasn't until he felt the bed dip beside him that he finally opened his eyes, releasing a deep breath as he watched Carly slide underneath the covers and wrap herself back around him. So, it was real after all? She must have noticed the look of confusion and then relief wash over him as she laughed softly, nodding as she rose to place her lips against his. Her kiss was soft at first, gently reassuring them both that the day before had in fact happened and they were truly, finally together.

It didn't take long for the passion to grow, nearly overpowering them. Freddie couldn't believe it was real… Here she was, in his arms again, brazenly exploring his body and taking what she needed from him. There was none of the awkwardness from the night before. Now they were simply lost in the moment… in each other… in everything they were feeling.

He shuddered every time she moaned his name. In his deepest, darkest fantasies of her he never could have imagined the effect it would have on him, the thrill that would run through him at every breathy moan and every time her voice squeaked in pleasure. She made sounds and said things no one would ever believe came from the prim and proper Carly Shay. He took some satisfaction in knowing that it was him pulling those sounds from her. He was the one making her completely fall apart.

He'd hate to admit it, but he was on sensory overload, trying his best to make it last for as long as possible. He felt like he was completely surrounded by her… Every touch, every scent, every taste, it was all her. Last night, he'd been a little distracted by the shock that any of it was actually happening, but now that it had worn off, he was completely in the moment and thoroughly drowning in her.

His heartbeat pounded in his ears, only drowned out by the sweet sounds he continued to coax out of her. His breathing was ragged and for a brief moment he feared his lungs would burst under the pressure. He felt her walls tighten around him and heard her cry out his name and he swore his saw stars as she ripped his orgasm from him, the force and intensity of it catching him by surprise.

He collapsed on top of her, trying and failing to hold himself from crushing her with his weight, but he'd never felt so weak, his whole body had turned to jelly. When he finally regained his strength and attempted to rise and pull out of her, he was pleasantly surprised to have her hold him tighter against her and locking her legs around his hips, refusing to sever the literal connection between them. Never one to deny her anything, he settled back against her, reclaiming her lips with his.

You know, I still want you, baby
We both know (We both know)
We both know (We both know)
We will never be the same

It was hours later before they finally emerged from her bedroom, only the need for food strong enough to pull them from their private little cocoon of blankets. Neither felt like cooking, so they ventured out for a late lunch. They debated going to Shay What, but neither felt like dealing with her brother or roommate, who were most likely there, so they opted for some new chain restaurant down the block from their building instead.

It took him by surprise how normal it all felt. He wasn't quite sure why, because it was still them, just having a meal together like they had hundreds of times before, but then again not. He couldn't take his eyes off the grin that was still plastered across her face. He wasn't sure if it was caused by their morning activities or by the fact that they were now officially together, but it didn't really matter. He was just glad that either way, it was him that put that wide smile on her face. He would do anything possible to make sure it stayed there.

It didn't take long for her to reach across the table and join their hands. While she had also done this countless times before, it felt different this time somehow. For some reason every look and every touch suddenly held so much more meaning today than it had a week ago. Everything was suddenly heightened.

She leaned her cheek against the palm of her other hand and gave him the sweetest, goofiest grin before gently biting her lip. He looked surprised for a moment, but then he saw her eyes darken. He knew that she must see the same reflected in his, her desire instantly making the room heat up. He leaned across the table and joined their lips again, careful to remember their surroundings. He was quickly learning how easily he was able to get lost in her, the rest of the world fading away without a second thought.

Even trying to be on his best behavior, he was still caught off guard when a cleared throat jerked them back from their moment. The waitress chuckled softly as she placed their plates in front of them, leaving them with an amused wink before she turned back toward the kitchen.

Freddie couldn't hide his smile as he took in Carly's flushed cheeks and the blush running down her neck and chest. He never imagined he could have that effect on her.

I'm going crazy over you
Over you again, oh yeah
It's never gonna be the way it was, oh
It's never gonna be the way it was
I'm going crazy over you, baby (Hey, hey, hey, hey, over you)
Over you again, baby (Over you)
This isn't how I remember us, no, baby (Ha, ha, ha, ha)
No, it's never gonna be the way it was
I'm going crazy, what you do (Hey, hey, hey, hey, what you do)
What you do to me, baby (What you do)
This isn't how I remember us (Ha, ha)
No, it's never gonna be the way it was (Ha, ha)

Later that evening that evening they had dinner at Spencer's with Harper and Millicent. They tried to keep the PDA to a minimum, but they couldn't help but steal a few kisses here or there. Carly had helped Spencer prepare dinner, which was nothing new, but what was new was how Carly would stop him for a kiss when he would grab a drink for his daughter or when he helped set the table as he always did when the siblings cooked.

He couldn't deny how odd it felt. They were going through the motions of things they had done a million times before, but it was suddenly so different. It was so different from his previous relationships; there he was getting to know them as everything developed so there was no normal to compare things to. But here, they had been Carly and Freddie practically his whole life. Everything was exactly the same as it always had been, but also not.

Now he was free to say and do things he'd only dreamed about. When he wrapped his arms around Carly's waist as she stirred the sauce, it felt so normal even though he'd never truly been allowed to do that before. He felt like he was walking along the line between his dreams and life-long reality, his new reality a wonderful blend of the two.

Even earlier in the day in the studio while they had a creative meeting with Paul via video chat like they'd had numerous times before things were noticeably different. They discussed and scheduled upcoming videos and skits like they always did, but this time instead of sitting in the chair he'd pulled up for her, Carly opted to sit in his lap instead. It felt wonderful, but also at the same time forbidden, something they'd never allowed themselves before.

When dinner was finally ready, he sat beside Carly. He wanted to hold her hand, but both being right-handed didn't really allow for that, so instead he placed his hand on her thigh under the table, needing the small contact, half expecting her to pull it away. He was relieved that she didn't, rather giving him a soft, knowing smile instead.

Dinner progressed like it always did with Spencer going on about his newest sculpture idea, Harper rambling about some celebrity gossip and the current design she was working on and Millicent telling him about her science project she'd worked on most of the day that she was sure would win her a prize. When Spencer had asked about their day, Carly had been the one to answer with "just making up for lost time". Harper snickered, while Spencer and Millicent groaned. He couldn't help but laugh at their antics.

He'd eventually filled them in on the rest of their day, lunch at that new restaurant and then some of the upcoming skits they had planned, some even requiring the assistance from those at the table. From there on, if felt pretty much the same as it always did. The jokes, the laughter… This was a normal night for this group of friends and family.

After a while he heard Carly chuckle beside him and he looked at her curiously. She just smiled and grabbed her napkin, wiping a piece of noodle from his chin. She grinned and sweetly pecked his lips. He really was liking this new normal. He looked around him and found his smile reflected in the faces of everyone at the table. They were all as happy for them as he and Carly were.

After the dinner dishes had been put away in the dishwasher, Freddie said a short goodbye to Carly. He was going to spend the rest of the evening with his daughter as he'd spent the whole day with Carly. He'd invited her to watch a movie with them, but she'd declined, knowing they needed some time together. The last thing she'd want is for Millicent to feel like she was stealing Freddie from her. Even though they all had curled up on his couch watching tv or movies late into the night on many occasions in the past, she didn't want to push her luck with Millicent. She knew how protective his daughter could be over him. Still, he'd promised to come by after Mills eventually went to bed, knowing his mom would be back from her date with Lewbert by then.

True to his word, a little after 11pm, Freddie entered Carly's dimly lit bedroom and found her waiting for him. He was pleasantly surprised to find her already naked beneath her sheets. She rose, sitting up as he locked the door behind him, letting the sheet slip and exposing herself to his hungry gaze. She watched as he quickly stripped himself of his clothing and joined her under the covers. Her arms welcomed his body and their lips reunited again.

He could hardly believe it had barely been twenty-four hours since they first made love, he was already addicted to her body. They had only been together for just over a day, but somehow this felt so right… Coming home to Carly at the end of the day. It felt like this is where he was always meant to be, in her arms.

So much had changed in the span of just a few days, but he was so grateful that it led him here. Nothing would ever be the same again, but he could live with that as he now, finally, had the woman he's always loved and, even though she hadn't said it yet, he knew she loved him too. He could feel it. His eyes were now wide open when it came to her as he'd somehow missed so much in the past. He'd known her so well, but he hadn't known how she'd been feeling, or if he did, wouldn't let himself believe it was real. But now he knew it was.

Just before he entered her, he gazed into her eyes and said the truth he'd been holding back since they were kids and he tried to tone down his obsession for her... "I love you." He didn't give her a chance to respond, instead quickly trapping her lips under his, not wanting to pressure her to say it back. He knew she would when she was ready. He just couldn't hold it in any longer.

Before they knew it, they were joined once again and Freddie was rewarded with his name falling from her lips and it was the most wonderful sound he'd ever heard. Yes, she wasn't the same girl he'd once fantasized about and followed around all those years ago, this woman in his arms was so much better… And she was finally his.