Chapter 24

Things had settled down after their flaring conversation. However, Ga Eul found it difficult to forget Yi Jung's reaction. If it weren't for his father's sudden appearance, their fight could've gone up in flames and resulted in a confrontation Ga Eul was running from. At some point, something was going to give out. Whether a slip of the tongue or the intense looks they both shared when they thought no one was looking.

After that night, the tension had risen to an all-time high. Yi Jung became much more aware of his surroundings when they were out together. Like someone was going to steal her away from his grasp. She presumed—had hoped—that university would take Yi Jung's mind off of his feelings, but it had the reverse effect. Since Jan Di was still in Shinhwa, Ga Eul's meetings with the F4 had slightly lessened, causing Yi Jung to grow a bit uneasy. It should've been unnoticeable, but Ga Eul still recognized it in his eyes from time to time. She had made it a habit to reassure him subtly to ease his mind.

She was supposed to meet him later in the day after finishing up her shift in the workshop, so she was surprised when she heard the door to the workshop open while cleaning her hands in the toilet. She opened the toilet's door expecting to see him before her, but she saw Woo Bin instead. She had seen him multiple times since that day, but she went out of her way to ignore him during their gatherings. She was surprised he was that insistent to talk to her.

"You don't look happy to see me." Woo Bin said.

"Of course I'm not, you jerk." Ga Eul replied, rolling her eyes. She stormed down the stairs to the ground floor in anger.

"Yi Jung is as important to me as he is to you. I did what I had to do." Woo Bin said, following her down.

"That night wasn't appropriate for such a conversation."

"Then, when would've been appropriate?" Woo Bin persisted. Ga Eul glared at him, throwing the chair Yi Jung usually sits on in his way.

"Violence doesn't become you." He replied, taking that as his invitation to make himself comfortable.

"Yi Jung isn't made of glass. Whatever happens between us is our business."

"It's not just your business." He said, throwing quotations in the air. "It's everyone's business. You don't know what Yi Jung would be capable of doing if the matter concerns you."

"What's that supposed to mean?" Ga Eul inquired.

"You think Yi Jung would've let Hong Joon free after what happened that day?" Woo Bin said, arching his eyebrows.

"What did he do?" Ga Eul asked, suddenly mortified.

"Nothing. But he almost did. He came so close, but backed down at the last second when I reminded him how angry you would've been if you found out." He replied.

"What was he planning to do?"

"Nothing you would've liked." Woo Bin said, intensely.

"Are you threatening me?"

"Never. I don't threaten friends. But I'm reminding you again who you're dealing with. Yi Jung's not an average guy. A mere conversation wouldn't solve this, let alone ignoring the situation altogether. I don't want to imagine what Yi Jung would do if things between you go awry. He'll hate himself if he ever sobers up from that." Woo Bin explained.

"I get it. I know you're doing this for our sake, but I mean it when I say don't you ever get involved in something that concerns me and Yi Jung. I'm not taking instructions from you or anyone on how to deal with Yi Jung. I'll fully carry the consequences of what happens. Both of us will."

Woo Bin locked eyes with her somehow understanding her. "I understand. But I'm not apologizing for what happened at the club. Or coming here."

"I wasn't waiting for an apology." Ga Eul replied, giving him a side smile.

"Good."


Ga Eul was left in deep thought after her conversation with Woo Bin. All the way to Yi Jung's studio, she was weighing the probabilities in her head. What if she was hurting Yi Jung by her silence? The thought alone was distasteful—Bringing pain to Yi Jung. She was only protecting him from his feelings. It would leave him confused and farther away from her. She didn't want to be his Eun Jae. She didn't want to have to leave.

"Turn around and get in the car. We're dining out today." Yi Jung said, putting on his suit jacket. Ga Eul let out a laugh. She had just opened the door to the studio.

"You could've picked me up from the workshop, asshole."

"I decided last minute." He said, struggling to button up the collar of his shirt. He never wears his suit and tie while making pottery. He's more loose when he's in the studio. Ga Eul had always appreciated that Yi Jung more.

"Here, let me help you." Ga Eul said, taking strides toward him.

She felt his gaze on her as her hands clumsily buttoned him up. She could feel the doting on his face, so she didn't dare to look up into his eyes. She had never fully grasped the height difference until now when he was looking down on her.

"I still have to wear my tie." He added innocently, happy having her close.

She stood on her tiptoes to wrap the tie around his neck with no help from him to lower his stance. She could tell he was enjoying her efforts trying to reach out to him. Her hands were around his neck, feeling his eyes follow her every move with amusement and adoration.

"I hope you're a fan of steak because that's what we're having today." He said.

"As long as you're paying." Ga Eul replied, now holding his gaze as she was knotting his tie. He smiled at her joke, and it seemed like the first time he ever did. It hit her in the heart. She could feel the corners of her lip curling automatically as if proud she made him smile. The glisten in his eyes was special only for her. That Yi Jung only she got to see close and tease. Ga Eul stepped aside, clearing her throat.

"How did you learn to do this?" He asked, holding his necktie in curiosity.

"I used to help my father tie his." Ga Eul said, uncovering a sad memory that was once a habit.

"Come on, I'm starving." He said, tugging her arm as he read her eyes.

"Are you more of a fish guy or a meat guy?" Ga Eul asked him as she closed the car door behind her and buckled up.

"Definitely fish." He replied.

"You seem like it."


"What does it mean that I seem like a fish guy? Was it the way I said the word 'steak', or did my eyes flutter the wrong way when I spoke?" He teased, as his knife was swiftly gliding through his steak like butter. Ga Eul grimaced seeing the blood spatter out of the meat.

"That's not nice." Ga Eul chuckled. "But this time it was just intuition. You are general-wealth borne through and through. Of course, you would pick the slimiest fish dishes out there." She retorted mischievously. Just a passing comment wouldn't escape his ears. Typical of Yi Jung, Ga Eul thought. Even while they were enjoying their meals under the sultry lights of a posh restaurant.

"Are you saying I base my choice of cuisine based on their price rather than their nutritional value? Yi Jung said, raising his eyebrow.

"Yes, exactly that."

"Oh, please. I know I could be pretentious, but not when it comes to food."

"I have seen you pick the wildest plates on the menu before. You're eating raw meat right now. Only the outlandishly rich do so. I'm not saying you chose them because they're expensive. You gravitate towards what rich people normally do. You're posh without even trying to be. It's a bit ironic don't you think?"

"What is?" He asked.

"That we're friends. I'm in no way denying I grew up a lot more privileged than others but still. We're so different." Ga Eul said.

"You did say I have expensive taste." He said, smirking while taking a sip of his wine. Ga Eul raised her brows in surprise.

"Nothing is more valuable. More precious to me than your friendship, time or whatever bond between us that binds us together. You better believe that." He continued casually. As if whatever he said were normal between friends. Between them.

"Not even your hands?" She teased, but she was hoping to hear him take back his words. She couldn't bear the thought that he would choose her. He couldn't—shouldn't.

"Yes." He replied with ease. He was eating nonchalantly as if what he was saying was a known fact. Did Woo Bin know about this? Did everyone know? Ga Eul was confused about what was unfolding before her.

She saw him in his studio. She knew what it meant to him. She thought she knew everything, but here she was, feeling like a fool in front of him.

"I can't do this." Ga Eul said, putting her hands on the table, and suddenly standing up. She was feeling suffocated. What was he doing? He was choosing the wrong option here.

Hell, what were they doing in a restaurant together alone? Like they were on a date, she thought. Then she started to connect the dots.

"Oh." She said, looking down at him as he held her gaze knowingly.

He knew.

All along.

He knew.

"Let's get out of here." She said, her voice small and broken.

"Gladly." He said, ushering the waiter to take care of the bill.


"Now, tell me, Ga Eul. What did you learn from today's dinner?" Yi Jung said once they were outside in a cornered street behind the restaurant. They could barely see each other in the dim light of a further off-lamp street.

"You played me." Ga Eul accused him. Her eyes were afraid and enraged.

"Yes, and why is that? Tell me, hmm? Does it feel good to be the one kept in the dark? Did it feel good for you and others to know while I was a fool?" He asked, moving closer to her. His hands were balled into fists, his knuckles white.

"I wasn't keeping you in the dark. You didn't know yourself."

"Then why didn't you say anything? You knew how I felt about you and kept it silent. Do you not trust me? Is that why?" He said, his eyes go soft for a second. As if pleading.

"I-I was afraid." Ga Eul confessed.

"From what?" He spit out.

"You have to understand me. This isn't easy."

"Why shouldn't it be easy? I'm your friend, remember? You tell me everything as do I.

Is it because you don't reciprocate?"

"That's not it!" Ga Eul replied.

"Then why did Woo Bin have to play these games on me? Why didn't you tell me?"

"Because I didn't want to lose you, fuck it. I don't just see you in a romantic light, Yi Jung. You're family to me. I don't want ever to lose you. The thought is unbearable." Her voice strained.

"Oh, Ga Eul. But you don't have to lose me." He said softly, taking her in a hug as he kissed the top of her head. His hands were wrapped around her waist, calming her down. She looked up at him, in a tear-strained face to see him looking at her ever so lovingly.

"No, this isn't right." Ga Eul said, taking a step back.

"Why are you denying us this?" He asked, torn.

"A relationship won't do us any good. We're both not ready for such a thing. What if we're mistaking comfort for love? I can't do it to us. It's too important."

"This isn't your choice alone to make. I'm not a child. I know exactly what I want. That is you. Always you." He said.

"How could you know? You've only recently figured out your feelings for me."

"Don't you think I was also scared? Maybe I knew all along, but I was in denial. Do you think it's easy for me to lose you? But I put myself on the line today because I couldn't handle the idea of not telling you. It was eating away at my soul."

"You don't want relationships. You hate them." She said.

"I want it if it's with you."

"But your art is more important. You only said that at the restaurant to rile me up, right? You wanted me to figure it out." She said.

"I was telling only the truth. I only tell you the truth because my soul demands it."

"Please, Yi Jung. Don't make it harder for us." She pleaded.

"You're the one making it hard for us. Look at me. You know me better than anyone ever could. Does it feel like I'm saying this out of impulse or lust?"

"No."

"Then, there's nothing that should hold me back from being with you." He said.

"Of course there is. You can't expect us to change our ways in a split second. We're both not relationship material."

"We might as well have been in a relationship this past year."

"Don't play smart with me."

"I'm not playing smart. Look, I can promise you give you all the time in the world you need. But not space. Never space."

"I don't know what to say."

"Don't say anything. We'll go back to our regular lives. Until we sort things out. Trust in me. Let the chips fall wherever they may." He said, taking her hand in his.

"When did you figure it out?"

"It was easy to. I went out of my mind just by the thought of you talking to that pest. It shouldn't have taken up so much of my time, but I think about it every day. Your secrets, smiles and words could belong someday to someone else. I realized when I would get mad that you treated my fleeting girlfriends so well. I hated that you didn't get jealous. I wanted you so badly to be furious with me. The thought that we might lead different lives without each other wakes me up at night. All these things added up together gave me a wake-up call. I care about waking up without having you in my life rather than having one day my hands betray me."

"Yi Jung, I-" She said, dumbfounded. She didn't know he felt that way. That deeply. Did she even deserve all that?, she wondered.

"I wanted to be honest with you. You don't have to feel burdened by my feelings."

"I'm not in the least bit burdened. I'm just surprised that's all." She said.

"Let's go home. We can talk another day." He said, smiling at her in relief.


A/N: Sorry for the late update. Life...well, happened.

Anyways, I hope you enjoy me loves.