Sorry for the wait everyone! The plague (covid) touched my household and the downside of working from home is you don't get time off for it! This chapter has been sitting 90% complete for weeks while I nap and binge watch Community, haha. I hope the fact that it's the longest one yet helps!

Please expect a few delays from now on as the chapters get less and less prewritten. Chapter 41 is currently 4 post-it notes I wrote during a meeting, 42 is just a list of ideas, 43 is 500 words long, 44 is a 4 line dialogue scene and from then on it's just blank docs.

Trigger warning: fairly graphic description of a historical asylum that's intended to provoke a reaction. Skip from the * to the ** if you don't want to read that.

Bold italics = Alice's letter


Bella,

You're incredible, you know that? We are all freaking out and you are so calm. I can't see anything right now, which is hell to be honest with you. But I don't need to see the future to know what's going to happen and I can tell you with absolute 100% certainty that Edward nearly jumped on Aro and Carlisle had to stop him, that Rose is going to ask you to keep her human, and that Jasper is going to write approximately 15 pages of instructions for you (with diagrams).

I wish I could see your future, in our pasts. I wish I knew what you would be facing, other than the obvious. I wish I knew what parts of the past you would struggle with, so I could prepare you for them. I really really wish I could come with you. If I could I would without a second thought. I would probably have to fight Edward and Jasper for the privilege though. Do you think I'd win that fight? I think they would get so distracted with each other that I could slip on through.

But that's all hypotheticals and wishes, let's focus on what I do know. You.


July 11th, 1919. Bella.

The Sackville Sanatorium was a tall box of a building. It may have once been redbrick but it had faded to grey, everything about the place was grey. Bella hadn't expected to have to come here; Alice was supposed to be institutionalised on July 10th 1919 but when Bella got there she had already been there for months. Her plan had been to leave it long enough for Alice to experience as much of her natural life as possible and then steal her away on the way to the sanatorium, before the trauma could happen. Alas it was not to be.

When she and Esme had turned up in Biloxi on the 9th, they found a smarmy father; who shamelessly stared at their chests and pretended to mourn as soon as Alice's name was mentioned. She was supposed to still be there at that point, but she was nowhere to be seen. A stormy glare and a few well placed threats had the man confessing that Alice had been babbling about birds and angels her entire life. Once her mother 'sadly passed', she just about lost the plot almost immediately and it was really in her best interest to send her away for treatment.

He nodded as he spoke, convinced of his own words.

Bella had to break his wrist for him to tell her where his daughter was. It was absolutely necessary. Any joy derived from it was purely coincidental.

It helped to blame him for Alice going into the sanatorium months earlier than she should have done. It stopped Bella obsessing quite so much on how her own existence in this time must have changed something that made Alice have visions more rapidly.


I know you, you can twist anything around to give yourself something to stress over, so I will make my instructions very very clear. I have to be put in the sanatorium, my mother has to die, do not try to save her. Is that clear enough for you? I'll be very angry if you find a way to blame yourself for my mother's death. If she never dies my father will never remarry, he will have a son with his second wife who will be a very good man, a doctor actually. I want him to exist, okay? Good, glad we got that out of the way.

It's very tricky to judge what will or will not change the future, isn't it? Now you know how I feel!


And so they made their way to Sackville, on foot as if the days they could save would make much difference in the long run. It was a dreary town, overcast by the shadow of a brick box on the hill, filled with tortured souls who deserved so much better.

It wasn't just the fact that Alice was here that bothered Bella. It's that is was this sanatorium. It was a different institution than the one Alice was sent to originally, only about a mile away but different enough that Bella had no way of knowing what was going to happen. Originally there had been a kind vampire orderly that kept Alice safe, in this new timeline he and Alice would never meet.

They walked up the courtyard to the imposing gun metal door. Bella halted to a stop, unable to move forward. Her sister was in there, her sister that she had already failed. If she hadn't been so preoccupied over Edward, if she had gone and checked on Alice more then maybe this wouldn't have happened. Alice would be home already, somewhere warm where she was loved. Not here, in this sick house of horrors so rank with stale blood and bleach that it made her sick just being near it.

Esme tensed up and held her breath, still a little too new to this to find any scent of blood unappealing. Bella trusted her though, she had no doubt that when she saw the suffering of all these poor people their blood would be the last thing on her mind. Esme had never indulged, not like Bella and the boys had. She had never experienced that freedom and had to give it up.

Esme took her hand and squeezed it, a silent gesture. There was nothing to be gained by not moving forward. Bella squeezed back and let go. She swung open the heavy door, ignoring the pointed knocker, and strode into the dim reception room.

It was tiny, crowded and cluttered, yet empty. Stark wooden benches lined the walls, fingernail marks scratched the edges where nervous inmates had clawed at them. The walls were off white, with dark smudges at hand height. To one side there was a step and then a thick metal door, heavy locks lined the edge. A woman sat behind a desk at the far side, her eyes barely raised from her novel to look at them, then dipped back down.

"Can I help you?" she grunted, still not looking.

"I'm looking for Mary Alice Brandon." Bella replied. "Her father told me she was here."

The woman grunted again and rummaged through the piles of paper on her desk until she found a dusty file. She slapped it on the desk, and opened it, skimmed through the first page and then gave Bella a withering look as she licked a finger and turned a page - as if it were her fault she had to go through the effort.

"Brandon, room 108," she mumbled, then rolled her eyes and let out a groan. "Dr Madeley?" she yelled. "There's a visitor here!"

There was a shuffle, a door to the side of the room swung open and a cloud of smoke seeped out. A slimy, sickly looking man poked his head out, eyes widening as he took in the two women stood in his lobby.

"Yes, thank you Carol." He smiled, one side of his uneven moustache twitching. "How can I help you ladies?"

"We're here to see Mary Alice Brandon," said Bella. "I'm her sister."

The doctor looked her up and down, his breath catching lightly like he was trying to think of what to say. She and Alice looked nothing alike, Bella remembered, especially when one was a vampire and the other wasn't.

"Half sister," she amended with an enchanting smile. "Different mothers."

He seemed to accept that. In this still heavily misogynistic world, she would have more pull if she came from the father's side of the family.

"Well, visiting hours are almost over but I'm sure there's time for you to say hello. Let me just find the room number."

"Brandon, room 108." Carol interrupted.

"Yes, thank you Carol." He said, and turned to the metal door. He extracted a ring of keys from his belt and set about opening it. It took an annoyingly long time, but finally the door slowly creaked open and Bella could relax the urge to rip it off its hinges.

"This way!" he called, and started up a set of steep stone steps.

Bella and Esme followed him up a floor and found themselves in a white tiled corridor. *Nurses were scurrying about, rummaging in carts and not speaking a word. The only sound Bella could focus on was the crying, oh so much crying. It flooded her mind, screams and cries as peoples' dignities were stripped from them, scratches of nails on skin and thuds of heads on walls, speaking and muttering in ways that couldn't hope to bring comfort.

Bella had never believed in hell before. She did then. She was there.

**Dr Madeley led them through the corridor, past countless soulless doors, up another staircase, then another. Finally he stopped at another plain door, its only distinguishing feature was the number 108 embossed above a covered window slot and the name 'Brandon' scrawled on a blackboard below it. The doctor rummaged through the ring to find a skeleton key and unlocked the door with a thud.

There were almost no sounds beyond it, just a quiet gentle breathing that came into focus as Bella entered.

The room wasn't empty, on the grey stone walls there were hundreds of scribbled chalk drawings. Scribbled eyes watched over them as they walked in. There were angels everywhere, clumsy, but recognisable. There was a flower, and a bear, a string of pearls, and a dozen birds.

Bella's eyes skimmed over the drawings to the threadbare bed in the middle of the room, and the tiny girl sat upon it. She had matted black hair down to her waist, wore thin starched pyjamas, discoloured from too many washes, her eyes were too large in her too gaunt pale face. Her smile was too bright for a place like this.

"Look," she breathed. "It's my swan! My beautiful swan! I knew you'd come for me."

Bella swallowed a sob. Alice knew her. Alice had seen her. She already had her sister, she was already there. She darted over to her a little too quickly and took her bony hands to kiss them. She stroked her dirty hair away from her cheeks and tried to ignore how similar their body temperatures already were.

"You know me?" she asked. "You've seen me?"

"I've seen you, and I've felt you," said Alice. "You're the sister no-one else could see. I told them you were there but they never believed me! I knew you were real!"

Bella exhaled a shaky breathe, so her fears that her presence had landed Alice here early were true. That wave of pain barely touched the surface of the elation of having her sister's hands in hers.

"I'm so sorry it took me so long to get you. We're getting you out of here. Pack your things."

"Um, actually," Dr Madeley said, having followed in behind her. "I'm afraid only family can discharge her and we have heard nothing from the father."

A growl rumbled from Bella's throat. "She's my sister."

"Nevertheless…"

"Wait," Alice grasped Bella's arm as she turned to put the doctor in his place. "Don't take me yet."

"What?" Bella frowned, rage left behind. "Why?"

"You're not ready."

"Ready for what?"

"To trust yourself again." Alice smiled, serene as if all this made sense. "You need a minute, I think. To realise that everything's not so bad. If you take me now you'll blame yourself for everything that ever happens to me ever again and I can't have that. Stay, but give yourself a couple of weeks."

"Alice, I can't…"

Alice squeezed her hand. "It will be alright, I swear."

After promises of visiting tomorrow were given, hugs were traded and cheeks were kissed, Bella followed the doctor back out to the hallway, where Esme was waiting - not having been able to fit in the tiny room.

"I'm sure you understand our policy," the doctor started to ramble. "After all, we can't just let anyone discharge the patients, it would be awfully irresponsible of us and…"

Bella ignored him. She rummaged through her satchel and found the stack of cash she'd stashed there. She picked out most of it and thrust it into the man's hands in fistfuls. His eyes bugged out at the dozens of hundred dollar bills. Enough to buy a nice house wherever he would have run to hide from her.

"Listen to me carefully," she hissed. "That is my sister in there. She is to be treated with respect. There will be no shock therapy, no water therapy, no so called 'treatments' of any kind, and you will not cut her hair. If I hear that any of these things have taken place, I will have this place shut down and you thrown in prison. Do you understand me?"

"Well, I…"

"Do you understand me, or do I need to repeat myself?" She crowded his space, towering over his cowering frame.

"I understand!" he yelped. "I understand! No therapies, treated with respect! I'll make sure of it!"

"Good." She stepped back. "Make sure everyone knows."

She walked out, Esme by her side. The doctor started counting his money behind her.


As you know, I don't remember anything about my first life. It's strange to imagine a version of myself who does. Would she be any different? To be honest I doubt it, don't worry yourself too much. From what I do know, there wasn't much worth remembering.

The unfortunate thing about my not knowing my own past is that there's very little I can tell you to help. You know everything I know!


Bella threw a glass vase at the hotel room wall and it exploded into a million pieces.

"God fucking damn it!" she screamed, Esme winced. "How do these places exist? What kind of person is evil enough to let places like this exist?!"

Esme sighed. "Bella, sweetheart…"

"I'm shutting it down," Bella ranted, "I'm getting all the patients out and burning that hellhole to the ground. I'll lock that damn doctor in a closet at the very top first so he dies the slowest."

"Bella!" Esme zipped up to look directly into her eyes, flexing that 'you need to calm down' look she'd been practicing. "If the Sackville Sanitorium shuts down, the patients would just be sent to similar places - maybe even worse ones. I know you're angry. You have every right to be. But this isn't the answer."

Bella took several calming breaths. "In my time all these 'treatments' are illegal. We didn't torture people into being 'normal', we gave them medication and therapy and a goddamn safe place to recover! I can't believe we have to wait another 50 years for people to get treated like humans! Y'know what? I don't care if it messes up history, I'm opening some fucking hospitals."

Esme smiled. "I think that's a brilliant idea, one that your sister can help you with once all this is over."

Yes, Bella thought, once all this is over.


Everyone is so worried, quite rightly considering how much we love you. Right now I'm listening to Jasper pacing in his office, he's already crumpled up three sheets of paper and started again. Whatever he sends you off with is going to be insanely long and detailed, I might have to write a summary if he lets me read it.

It's hard to know what to say. These are kind of like our last words, aren't they?


They knocked on the Sanitorium door the second Esme's watch clicked over to visiting hours. The receptionist actually looked slightly shaken this time, when the sunlight filtering through the dirty windows illuminated them as being other and Bella demanded to see her sister.

"Alice Brandon, room 108."

They both fit in the room this time, with the doctor pushed into the corridor and the door shut behind them. Alice was sat in her bed again, rocking to comfort herself until they walked in the room. She beamed.

"Alice," Bella said. "I'd like you to meet someone, this is Esme."

Alice gasped. "Our tree climber!"

Esme grinned. "Tree climber?"

"Yes! We were waiting for you to fall out of the tree for years and years! The third branch broke!"

Esme looked back at Bella in amazement. Bella smiled.

"The day you met Carlisle, we planned it years in advance. You saw all that, Alice?"

"I've been seeing you all my life, only in little pieces. One day I want to see everything."

"One day you will."


You know how my visions work, I've trained my gift enough over the years to just about master it - but there's another aspect that usually gets forgotten, since it's less useful. I sometimes just get feelings, call it perception - Jaz says Peter gets something similar.

Ever since the late 80's, I had this feeling that I was missing something, like there was something out there waiting for me. That feeling went away the day I met you.

A few days later I had my first vision of us together, and from then on I knew that we were meant to be in each other's lives. Some people are just meant to be, Bells. We're meant to be.


"Ladies," the smarmy doctor said as visiting hours ended and they were ejected from Alice's room. "I would ask you not to encourage Miss Brandon's delusions. You will make her condition worse, especially if you are not allowing her to have any treatment."

"I think you will find that I can talk to my sister any way I wish and that trying to stop me would end very badly for you." Bella hissed.

Dr Madeley inhaled sharply and took a hasty step back. His hands clenched into fists. A hangnail on his right hand that Bella was vaguely aware of (as she was vaguely aware of almost everything around her) dug into his palm and ripped the skin. A bead of blood escaped, just a bead.

When Bella was focused, her bloodlust was quickly tamed. Memories of crunching bones and fearful faces pulled her back from instincts she had long been suppressing. She was there for her sister, only her sister.

Esme had had no such experiences.

Bella felt the energy vibrating off her as she tried to keep it in, an incredible feat for one so young. She took a step forward towards the trembling man, but Bella grabbed her arm just in time. They moved too fast to look normal, but it would have to do.

"Hold your breath." Bella whispered, too quiet for the man to hear. "Look at me or the floor, not him. We'll hunt when we get out. Okay?"

Esme nodded, Bella took her by the hand and led her out of there, leaving the lucky doctor scrambling in their wake.


Everyone is so focused on the possibility you might fail, they're worried that you'll blame yourself if you can't make everything perfect. I know you'll blame yourself no matter what we or anyone else says. I choose to focus on another possibility - what if you succeed?


Esme didn't come the next day, choosing instead to get rid of her excess energy in the wilderness to be more controlled tomorrow. The doctor met Bella in the reception.

"Excuse me, I don't actually have your name."

Bella looked him up and down, as intimidating as she could get.

"Isabelle Brandon." She lied.

"Okay, Miss Brandon. I'm afraid to say that we have detected a lice outbreak here and our policy is to shave everyone's heads to stop it spreading."

"What did I tell you two days ago?" Bella hissed, the man flinched away from her. "No one will shave her hair. No one."

"I understand, Miss Brandon. But you have to understand that the health of my patients must be my first priority-"

"If you truly cared then you would help them bathe." Bella growled. "Have you shaved her head yet?"

"No, that's our agenda for today."

"Right. Cancel it. When I come in tomorrow, I will bring a comb and do your job for you. You will not touch a hair on her head. Do you understand me?"

She was inches away from his face and knew full well that her eyes had turned black and her lip was curling away from her canines. The man wet himself.

"Yes, ma'am."


You won't manage to do everything perfectly, I believe in you but you're not a god. But what if you manage it? What if you break Jasper and Peter out of a goddamn war camp? What if you save Esme from an awful marriage? What if you protect Edward and his parents from the influenza, rescue me from the asylum, save Charlotte, stop Rosalie being attacked and give Emmett exactly what he's always wanted?

Is it really so impossible?


"I'm surprised they let you draw on the walls." Bella said, softly tracing a swan's long neck.

"Oh they don't," Alice smiled slyly, "I'm just very good at hiding the chalk."

Bella laughed. "Soon enough you will have all the paper and pencils you could ever dream of, I promise."

"I believe you," she grinned. "You know your plan tomorrow is going to take a very long time, even though you're angels."

Bella gave her a look, exactly how much did she know?

"We're no angels, Alice."

The girl shrugged. "I don't know exactly what you are, but I have always known you were my avenging angel. My loving sister ready to bring me home to my family. I've seen them all, or at least I think I have."

Bella slumped down on the rickety bed close to her. "When you see us, what's it like?"

Alice bit her lip in thought. "It's like ghosts. I turn around and see you dancing, or having conversations, or just sitting reading. Once I looked over your shoulder and you were looking at a picture of me. I looked at a tree and saw Esme falling out of it. It took a while for me to realise other people don't see everything I do."

"Who have you seen? Just me and Esme?"

"No," she said. "I've seen your three boys, with their matching blonde hair, and three blonde women, all of them as pale and beautiful as you. I've seen a bear, and a black haired boy trying to fight it. I've seen Esme in her wedding dress, teaching children, turning from human to angel…"

"Why do you think we're angels exactly?" Bella murmured.

Alice shrugged. "I know you're fast and strong and beautiful and never age. That's an angel, right?"

Bella chucked. "I wish."


I remember when you had only been turned for a little while and we started exposing you to humans. It was after that incident with the hiker and you were terrified it would happen again, but on that very first outing a kid skinned his knee and you held your breath long enough for Jaz to pull you away. You did exactly what you thought was impossible.

I believe in you, Bella. You're capable of so much more than you think.


The next day, Bella and Esme came armed with combs, basins and clean cloths. Bella glared at one of the nurses until she was given a burner to warm the water with and set up washing Alice's thick matted hair and combing it out. Esme left to convince the nurses to let her do the same for the rest of the ward. Her eyes were bright butterscotch with blood and she was convinced that she would have no problems with her control so long as she didn't get angry. Bella kept her ears and Alice's door open, just in case.

Bella took a soft cloth and gently cleaned Alice's smudged face, then saturated her hair in water and soap. She separated the tangles with her fingers, starting at the ends and working her way up to the top. Then she started combing, with her enhanced vision and speed she made quick work of every insect on her head, but she still took her time. Alice would feel no pain, ever again if she could help it.

Aside from the pain of the turn, but Bella would deal with that later.

The Alice of the future would have been overjoyed with the hair she had been born with. Once properly combed it came all the way past her waist and was a deep rich black. Beautiful.

It was soothing, Alice almost fell asleep under her hands. The rest of the ward seemed to find it soothing too, once Esme got her way. The poor people finally fell quiet, once subjected to gentle words and soft fingers.

Bella laughed. "I can almost relax here when it's like this."

"But you can't relax," Alice murmured. "You can't ever relax."

"What do you mean?"

"You can't relax, Bella. You can't let your guard down. He's waiting for you."

"What?" Bella gasped. Alice was still half asleep, murmuring to herself with her eyes closed. "Who's waiting for me?"

"I don't know his name…" she whispered.

Bella did, or at least she had a very dreadful feeling. She swallowed down the horror welling up in her throat and focused on her task. There was no use worrying about the inevitable, she thought as she itched the back of her neck.


I think Jasper finally got into the zone for his letter, it doesn't sound like he's broken any more pens. You know those fancy fountain pens he likes, refillable ones that explode everywhere if you snap them. I had a moment just now, when I was thinking about how hard it's going to be to clean up - but that doesn't matter, does it? When you disappear, we will too.


The sun shone too brightly on the 5th day. Esme noticed the clouds parting as they played cards in Alice's room.

"Bells, we have to go." She tugged on her sleeve. "We don't want to get stuck here."

"But…"

"Oh go on," Alice laughed. "You'll see me tomorrow. I can't wait until I shine in the sun too."


I kind of hope we do, I can't imagine the fallout if we don't. I don't want to imagine it, I can't shake the image of Jasper sobbing. I've only seen him do it once before, plus a few times in visions I managed to stop. He'll sob, if you just fade away and then nothing else happens. He'll fall to the floor and forget everything else and I can't stop seeing it.

Everyone else would be devastated too, of course - but Jasper's one of those people it kills you to watch break down.


"No visitors on Sundays."

"Excuse me?" Bella glared up at the soon to be deceased doctor blocking the door. "I will see my sister and you can't stop me."

He resolutely shook his head. "I'm sorry ma'am, but if you want to maintain your visits during the week you must obey our rules."

Bella moved to push the man aside, but Esme grabbed her arm.

"Leave it, Bella. We'll come back tomorrow."

Bella growled but acquiesced, not interested in a fight that day. As they turned to walk back down the drive they heard a window squeak open and turned to see Alice peeking out of it. They checked side to side to make sure no one was watching them and ran close enough that Alice might be able to hear them.

"I told you you'd see me today!" Alice smiled. "The windows only open an inch though."

"At least it's something!" Esme called. "We will see you properly tomorrow!"

Alice turned as someone told her to come away from the window. Bella looked around, they were in a part of the grounds tucked away from the courtyard, out of view from the road. It was mostly overgrown, but there was a definite area that had been trodden flat under the bedroom windows, including Alice's.

Bella's senses prickled, something was wrong. She crept further to the back of the building, where the flat area continued as only a faint trail in the ground. Someone had been walking this way, often.

She turned a corner into the woods and found a new scent to greet her. It was a pair of old boots abandoned near a bush. The laces were torn and soles worn right through, the kind of damage you only saw on shoes owned by vampires. She came closer and inhaled deeply. The scent was of another vampire, of that she was certain, but she wasn't sure if she recognised it or not. It smelled like something familiar, she couldn't put her finger on it. The sire of someone she knew, perhaps?

"Bella?" Esme called behind her.

"Can you smell that?" Bella asked, nodding at the boots.

"I'm trying not to breathe too deeply."

"Inhale. It's okay, there's no blood."

Esme let some more air in and started to growl lowly. She zipped to Bella's side, inspecting the boots like they were a live bomb.

"Do you know them?" she whispered.

"I don't know."

A gust of wind hit them, bringing the scent even further their way. It blew Bella's hair into her face and she raised her left hand to brush it aside.

Her answer came on her left wrist.

A bite mark. Her own scent mixed with that of a man long since dead, ripped apart by Jasper himself. But that was a different time, a different reality.

James was alive, and he was here.

"We need to get Alice out of here." Bella gasped.

"Why?" Esme growled. "Are they after her? How do you know?"

"Do you know what a singer is?" Bella asked, Esme shook her head.

"It's a human whose blood calls to you more than anyone else's," Bella explained. "It's indescribable, you can go hundreds of years without ever finding one. I've never met one of my own, but Peter has. He said it was impossible to resist killing him, he was fang deep before the thought had even crossed his mind. I was Edward's…" She laughed bitterly. "He almost slaughtered a whole classroom full of teenagers just to get to me. The fact that he resisted for so long is just… impressive."

"Okay…" Esme murmured. "So-"

"This vampire is a killing machine and Alice is his singer," Bella said. "He was the reason she was turned the first time."

"But isn't she in a different asylum than the one she was in the first time?"

"It's only a mile away, he probably ran past just the same and caught her scent. Then he got hooked."

"So he won't leave her alone until he's got her."

"He likes to play with his prey. That's probably the only reason she's still alive." Bella sighed and raised her left hand to Esme's nose. Esme inhaled at her wrist and her nostrils flared. "He attacked and bit me when I was still human, it was like a game to him - to kill me while you all were trying to stop him. We're still a few months away from when she was turned the first time, he must have been playing with her for all that time."

"You told me about him," Esme said. "Wasn't it his mate that caused you to be turned in the end?"

Bella touched the jagged scar on the side of her neck, Esme's eyes followed her fingers. "There was more of Carlisle's venom in me than hers in the end, thank God. I'm not looking forward to facing her again."

"But you will."

Bella nodded. "I have to. To keep my family safe, I can't kill James without killing Victoria."

"We need to attack them?"

"Not yet." Bella swallowed the nervous venom welling in her throat. "We have to hide Alice first, and get some backup. I have a feeling they'll come to us."

"When do we take her?"

Bella glanced at the sky. "What I wouldn't give for a weather forecast. You've been reading about meteorology. Do you think it will be sunny tomorrow?"

"I think it's likely."

"Okay…" Bella bit her lip. "Here's the plan. I need you to go back to the hotel and call the Denali's, tell them to meet us in their West Virginia house. Then take all the money we have with us and go buy a car, one with a roof; as quickly as you can. We can take her tomorrow morning and drive her away during the day, it will be too bright for them to follow us on foot. By the time night falls we will have enough of a headstart to be able to run and find the others before they catch up. Can you do that?"

Esme nodded. "What will you do?"

"I'll stay here and keep watch." Bella glanced at Alice's empty window. "No one's touching her."


Esme.

It was relatively fast for Esme to call the Denalis and buy a motorcar. What took all night was driving it back to Biloxi. She could jog faster than this machine could move. Still, she marvelled at the technology and felt rather smug for her clever decision to carry extra canisters of gas.

She arrived outside the hotel she and Bella had been staying in, parked and took a quick detour to hunt. She didn't really need to, but she couldn't risk Alice bleeding and causing her to do something she would regret. Besides, what Bella had told her about singers had distressed her. That there existed people who could make her lose all her carefully attained control within a second, that someone as content and in control of himself as Peter could kill before he'd had a chance to try to resist scared her greatly. She would have to talk to Carlisle about it, she decided. He would have some insight, hopefully some comforting insight.

She took down a couple of white tailed deer, feeling mildly guilty as she watched the life leave their eyes; then she returned to the hotel to change and check out, then drove to the Sanitorium at about 7am.

She scented the air and followed Bella's trail, it was faint like she'd tried to cover it up. Esme was impressed, she wouldn't have noticed it if she hadn't known to look. The girl was up a tree, surveying the land. Esme was reminded of old stories of Bella and the boys trapped in a war camp, when she spent most of her time holed up in a tall tree to hide from Jasper and Maria.

"Good work." Bella nodded towards the motorcar. "James showed up at around midnight, stalked around a bit and ran west."

"He was here? Are you okay?"

Bella scoffed. "Please. I hid. I'm no match for him on my own, I'm not taking him on unless I have to."

"Was it strange to see him again?"

Bella paused. "Kinda."

They fell silent until the wake up bell sounded from within the sanatorium.

"Reception opens in 30 minutes."

"So we wait…"

They entered the building the second the clock clicked over to 8am, not bothering to knock. Bella thumped her hand on the front desk and startled the half asleep receptionist.

"I'm withdrawing my sister from your institution."

"I… but…" The receptionist stammered.

Bella rolled her eyes and rummaged through her bag, pulling out a huge handful of cash and slamming it on the desk.

"This will cover her fees for the rest of the year. I'm taking her. Now."

The disgusting wreck of a doctor peaked his head around the staffroom door, bringing a puff of smoke out after him.

"See now, Miss Brandon. I've told you before that only the father can-"

"She's paid for the rest of the year's fees." The receptionist whispered, interrupting him.

The man's eyes drifted to the pile of cash and stayed there, going wide with greed.

"You can tell father she died," Bella said. "I don't care, I won't correct it. One less mouth for you to feed, one more empty room you can fill, and you get paid anyway. Sounds like a win win situation."

"But…" The doctor wobbled. "The Hippocratic Oath…"

"I think we both know you don't care about the Hippocratic Oath." Bella responded, her voice smooth like silk - vampire thrall thick in her eyes.

Esme marvelled at it. While it hadn't worked on her as a human, it was incredible to watch as the man became enraptured under Bella's intense gaze.

"My sister has very sadly passed away," Bella murmured. "What papers do I have to sign?"

"Carol," the man breathed. "Get the papers."


Alice had very little to bring with her, no real belongings of her own except the clothes she had entered the sanatorium in. Esme carefully helped her to put them on while Bella abused the doctor outside, taking the opportunity to tell him exactly what she thought of his "methods". They had truly offended her, even though she must surely be aware that they were common practice.

The sweet lace dress she was buttoning Alice into swamped her tiny frame. The pale pink clashed with her sallow skin and the belt at the waist didn't go tight enough to hold it there. Esme plucked a pin from her hair and easily pushed it through the belt to make a new hole.

"So strong…" Alice murmured. "Will I be that strong too?"

"One day." Esme gently buckled the belt, still loose enough to be comfortable.

"I hope it's soon," Alice said, "I'm tired of being weak."

Esme hummed and brushed Alice's hair back. "Can you see yourself when you're strong?"

"Sometimes I don't know what I can see."

Esme understood her future self's words even more than ever. She was only a few years older than this girl, yet she couldn't shake the overwhelming maternal affection welling up inside of her. Alice was damaged, and she would put her back together.

"You will," she assured her, "everything is going to be okay."

Alice smiled and took her hand to squeeze it. "I trust you."

"Are you ready?" Bella poked her head around the door.

Alice nodded and let herself be hurried out the building. The heavy front door slammed closed behind her, and she lifted her head to the weak early morning sun with a gentle smile. Esme's heart swelled, this sweet girl would spend every day in the sunshine for the rest of her life.

Bella guided Alice towards the motorcar, helped her into the backseat and shut the door behind her. "Can you drive?" she asked Esme.

"Me?" Esme frowned as Bella got into the passenger side and slid herself into the driving seat. "But you've been driving so much longer than I have."

"Yeah, but I keep breaking these cars…" Bella muttered. "Muscle memory and all that, the last cars I drove could go over 150mph and these can barely do 30."

"Ah." Esme exhaled and turned over the ignition. "It's just that this is so important and I don't want to mess it up."

"You won't," Alice piped up from the back seat, Esme sighed and set the car into motion, driving away from the sanatorium and towards the road.

Bella smiled and rummaged through her satchel that Esme had stashed under her seat.

"Here," she produced a sketchbook and case of pencils and passed them to Alice. "We're going to be driving for a long time, let me know if you get hungry or need the bathroom - okay?"

"Thank you!" Alice replied. "Do… do you have any photographs? The ones from your old life? Can I see them?"

Bella hesitated and stared into space for a moment, then reached underneath her and pulled the whole bag out to pass to the back seat.

"Knock yourself out, look at whatever you want."

"... Even this envelope with my name on it?"

"Sure, it's got your name on it."

"You haven't opened it."

"Of course not," Bella's lip quirked up and she started to gaze out the window. "It's not for me, it's for you."

Esme glanced in the rearview mirror and watched Alice carefully open the large fragile envelope, most of the glue holding the flap down was gone anyway. She took out a folded piece of paper, then frowned and took out a second, smaller envelope. She took one look at the front, snorted quietly and tucked it back in. Esme couldn't see what it said, or what the letter Alice was so eagerly consuming said, but she could only assume it was as enlightening as her own had been. She glanced at Bella, who to the untrained eye appeared relaxed, but her eyes were sharp as daggers, looking for dangers.

Esme tightened her grip on the steering wheel and headed north.


Why am I talking about such sad things, though? This letter is supposed to be uplifting, I'll do better!

I'm excited that we'll be together in the 20s! We can go out partying in our flapper dresses and live out the Great Gatsby, it was definitely my era fashion wise.


Bella.

It was frustrating to move so little distance in so much time, but they made relatively good progress during the daylight hours. As the sun started to set, Bella let out a great sigh and whispered too low for Alice to hear.

"James will probably check on the sanatorium in a few hours."

"Do you think he'll notice she's gone?" Esme replied at the same volume.

"Instantly…" She checked over her shoulder at Alice scribbling away on her sketch pad. "He's an incredible tracker, he'll set off tonight and know exactly what direction to go in. He'll most likely be on our tail until she's turned and her scent changes."

"When do you want to turn her then?"

"Well it's up to her…" Bella bit her lip. "I don't want her turning so close to leaving that place, when the trauma is still so fresh in her mind. In my future, everything she went through there caused her to lose all her memories."

"You don't know that it will happen that way this time," Esme replied, "she has you now."

"Us. She has us…" She glanced at the backseat and switched to a human volume. "The car portion of our journey is ending soon, Alice. Once it's dark we're going to abandon the car and I'll carry you to safety. It's quicker than driving. You gonna be okay?"

"You should turn me now."

Bella's eyes widened and she fully turned to look back at her sister. "What?"

"The blonde man is going to come after us," Alice said, "I want to help."

Bella shook her head. "You don't need to turn just because he's after us, Alice. We're headed towards friends who can help. You can wait."

"But I don't want to wait! I don't want to be like this! I'm cold and I'm tired and my head always hurts. I want to be like you! You're beautiful and you shine and you're strong. I want to be an angel like you!"

"I've told you Alice, I'm no angel."

"Yes you are! You've always been my angel! I've seen you everywhere for as long as I can remember!" Alice's voice hitched. "I don't care what it makes me, I just want to be with you."

Bella swallowed, her voice came out strangled. "You don't have to become anything to be with me. I would rather you not have to turn in the back of a car while we run for our lives. Besides, the car is too slow. He'll catch up."

"Won't biting her change her scent?" Esme interjected. "You said James can track her until she turns, won't you biting her stop him?"

"Kind of, but he'll still be able to track us."

"So we lay a fake trail." Esme said. "I'll pull over and you bite her. I'll take some of her clothes and a few strands of her hair and make it look like we carried her elsewhere. You drive away and meet up with me later, to him it would smell like it was just you in the car." Esme glanced at Bella who was staring unblinkingly back at her. "Would that work?"

Bella was silent for a moment, then let out a despondent laugh.

"What?"

"It's just…" She shook her head. "When he came after me when I was a human we had essentially the same plan. I ended up turning in a car too…"

"On a separate occasion," Esme clarified. "It did work, didn't it?"

Bella shook her head. "For a little while, but he worked it out."

"A little while is all we need."

Bella sighed and turned back to her sister behind her. "Are you sure this is what you want?"

Alice nodded resolutely. "Absolutely positive."

"Okay then…" Bella nodded to the road ahead. "There's a layby over there, let's get this over with."


The 60s will be fun too. Imagine it, Bells! You, me and Jaz can live through the most fun periods of history, experiencing everything together. We're going to have an amazing life; together, just the way we're supposed to be.

There was a pack of wolves a few miles away from the road where they stopped and Bella took down four before racing back to the others where they stood beside the car, waiting for her.

She had always known Alice would end up turning because she knew Alice; but she had always assumed it would be someone else that did it. Not her. Memories of the only other human she had ever turned flashed through her mind. Terrified green eyes turned red and angry, a woman doomed to carry her scent forever - even though she most likely died decades ago, being a newborn in the Southern Wars.

I love you, and I believe in you. I can't wait to spend my second life with you.

Esme held Alice's lace collar and her petticoat, plus a few strands of hair that Alice had plucked out of her own head. Alice was swamped in Bella's thick coat to protect her from the chilly night air. It would disguise her scent too.

She wasn't supposed to turn this way. It was supposed to be calm and safe like Esme's was. Not rushed in the back of a car like Bella's had been. Once Carlisle had pumped enough venom into her to be sure she wouldn't die, Alice and Jasper threw her turning body in their car and raced to the Montana house with her screaming in the back. It was sudden and unplanned, and they had to fake their deaths real fast. She woke up surrounded by family, with Edward nowhere to be seen. How would Alice wake up? Who would be there with her?

Bella shook herself, there was no point dwelling on things that didn't matter. Alice had to be turned then and there, that was the plan. That was the way it had to be.

She sighed and guided Alice to sit on the car bonnet.

"I have to warn you that this is going to hurt," she said, "a lot."

Alice smiled. "Esme already told me, Bella. I'll be okay, I promise."

Bella nodded. No point stalling any longer with James on their tails.

"Put your hand in my hair," she murmured to Esme, "pull me up if I don't stop in 30 seconds."

Esme slid her hand into the bun on Bella's head, but quietly reminded her. "You'll stop. You can do this."

Bella kind of wished they didn't believe in her so truly. The last time she tasted human blood was to murder that bastard Charles Evenson, and the only control she had had then was the discipline to make him suffer as much as possible. She had never bitten for a positive reason, she had never made good things happen with her venom. Blood, to her, was violence and desperation and pleasure.

Nothing you do could ever disappoint me. Nothing.

Bella exhaled and checked Alice one more time. "You ready?"

"Yes."

She closed her eyes and counted down.

3, 2, 1.

She bit down into Alice's left wrist, as had been decided. The second her teeth sliced through skin, before a drop of blood even hit her tongue, the ecstasy started. Her body prepared itself for the high and rejoiced in the rich ambrosial nectar that flowed down her throat.

But Bella checked herself. This was Alice, her sister, the most pure and precious thing she had. Alice had to survive, because what kind of world would there be without Alice in it? Alice had to survive, for the family, for Jasper.

Yes, Jasper. Alice had to survive for Jasper.

Believe me, please.

She focused on producing as much venom as possible. She fed at the wound for 20 seconds and lifted her head of her own accord, Esme's hand fell uselessly away.

Alice stared into her eyes for a second, not reacting. Then the venom hit and her eyes went round like dinner plates, tears streamed down her cheeks, her mouth fell open, jaw tense, hands clawed. The first screams cut through Bella like a knife.

"Oh God I'm sorry, I'm so sorry…" Bella grabbed a blanket from the car and wrapped it around her sister as if it would help, she held her rigid form close in an embrace. "I'm so so sorry, Ali…"

Alice screamed into her neck.

"Bella…" Esme touched her shoulder. "We have to move. I'll meet you at the Crossing Inn ten miles north."

Bella nodded and watched her only support run away from them. She sighed, counted to five, kissed Alice's hair and carried her into the car. She laid her on the back seat and sped away as fast as the car could go.

All my love, forever and always,

Alice xx