.

Loyalty and Limerence

Part 3

Chapter 18


Thessia

When the shuttle doors opened, the first thing that hit Garrus was the smell. The dust of the rubble and destroyed buildings, the ozone of desperate biotics, and the char of burned flesh. It attacked his nose before he had a chance to steel himself, and it churned his stomach as it scorched his nostrils as instant despair set in.

The thrumming of a Reaper's beam reverberated in his chest cavity, making his teeth vibrate. Explosions echoed across the city, gunfire hammered on his eardrums, and screams bubbled up in every direction.

It was a sharp and sudden contrast with the levity of the past few weeks. While they'd made a stop to rescue the researcher, Ann Bryson, the brief mission hadn't been enough to prepare them. The stark difference between the shimmer and sparkle of the Citadel and the death and destruction here on Thessia was enough to make Garrus sick. It was an abrupt return to the realities of war.

While they'd certainly been risking their lives and working hard to stop the Reapers the last few months, they had been somewhat secluded from the true face of the war during their time on Tuchanka and Rannoch. Garrus had done a good job pushing his thoughts of Palaven aside, letting it be nothing but numbers and statistics in his messages with Victus. Now, though, he was forcibly reminded of how horrific this war truly was.

Far off, a building collapsed into a shower of dust and glittering, shattered glass.

As they made their way through the ruins of Liara's homeworld, she looked on with an open-mouthed, silent scream. She cried out as another building in the distance collapsed in a spray of debris, averting her eyes as her people were brought low. Garrus had been with the forces that had removed to Menae early on after the initial attack, and he had left with Shepard before long. Sure, he'd seen pictures of the destruction, but living aboard the Normandy created a buffer between them and the front lines. Now it was hard to pretend the war was anything other than desperate.

"Looks like we're in the clear." Shepard murmured as they finally approached the Temple of Athame. "Let's get inside." They disabled the barricade blocking the entrance and took careful steps into the large, cavernous room. Looming over them was a colossal statue of a woman that Garrus assumed to be their goddess, Athame, and scattered around the room were an array of relics, each more ancient than the last.

"Hello?" Liara called out after a minute, and Garrus registered the odd quiet, the only sound being their footsteps and the echoes of far off explosions. "Is anyone there?"

There was no response, and his plates prickled as anxiety crept up his spine and lodged itself in the back of his skull.

"I don't like this." Kaidan murmured as they began sweeping the room for signs of life, to no avail. "The scientists should be here."

"Something is wrong." Javik growled, and Garrus nodded in agreement.

"Okay, we need to take a look around. Maybe one of these artifacts is what we're looking for." Shepard paused as he glanced around, noticing the doors in the back leading further into the temple. "Jane, take James, Ashley, Kaidan, and EDI, and search the back rooms. The rest of you, spread out. We need to figure this out as quickly as possible."

"Roger." Jane replied quickly before gesturing to the other four and leading them toward one of the doors. She glanced back at Garrus momentarily and nodded to him before disappearing further into the temple.

The rest of them began searching the main chamber, examining the different artifacts and discussing in quiet voices. Garrus approached a statue, a stone bust carved in an oddly familiar likeness.

"Hey, Shepard. Take a look at this." Garrus muttered as he gestured to the Commander. The other man hurried over, narrowing his eyes as he noticed it.

"Could this be the artifact we're supposed to find?"

"I don't think so." Liara mused as she joined them, "That's a sculpture of Lucen, one of Athame's servants who walked among my ancestors bestowing knowledge." Javik stepped up beside her and leveled her with a deadpan stare.

"And you don't see the resemblance?" He asked dryly, and Liara looked at him in confusion. After a heartbeat, her eyes widened, and she looked back at the statue sharply, then back at Javik. "He was no servent of an imaginary goddess. He was Prothean." Javik snorted as he raised a brow.

Garrus prided himself on his ability to read human and asari faces, but still he struggled with the expression that passed Liara's face at Javik's pronouncement.

"But that would mean-" She cut off, her eyes tight and her mouth slightly ajar as her mind raced, the possibilities swirling as her previously held understandings shattered before her. She turned to examine another artifact, and Tali moved forward to peer at the sculpture.

"You know, I do see the resemblance." She whispered with a small shrug, and Garrus agreed. He saw it, too.

With nearly every artifact they encountered, Javik revealed even more bombshells, each shaking Liara more than the last. By the time they paused at the foot of the gigantic statue that dominated the temple, Liara appeared nearly as disturbed as she had upon first learning what had caused the fall of the Protheans.

"What you're implying… it's staggering." She whispered, and Javik turned to her with a grave grimace.

"We were here in the beginning, watching you grow." He let her digest the statement before adding, "'Athame' was us." Liara stared up at the statue above them, her brows furrowed, but before she could reply, there was a soft curse from nearby. Garrus turned to see Shepard frowning down at something tucked just out of sight behind a bench. He stepped around it to see the corpses of two white clad asari.

"I'm guessing these are the scientists we were supposed to meet." Garrus said, and Shepard nodded. The bodies had clearly been dragged there after their death, and yet the military grade encrypted barrier had been enabled until Shepard's team had arrived minutes before. Garrus knelt down to examine them further, fear and unease jolting him as he noticed their slit throats. He looked up at Shepard, "The Reapers didn't do this."

"Then who…?" Liara trailed off as she turned, her eyes scanning the room. Shepard shook his head, his face grim as he took a step back. Garrus had a sinking suspicion, but he didn't know how that could be possible. There was only one enemy that leapt to mind besides the Reapers, but they couldn't have any idea what was hidden here, could they?

"Who's that supposed to be?" Shepard asked suddenly as he gestured up toward the colossal statue, and Liara turned back to look up at it.

"It's Athame." She began, taking a half step closer. "Her image became more like ours over time."

"You mean your ancestors tried to hide the truth." Javik sneered as he came to stand beside her, and Liara shot him a hard look.

"I'm still not willing to believe any of that's real." She replied firmly, her voice soft but laced with steel.

"Then why does Athame speak Prothean?" Javik replied with sardonic amusement, and everyone turned to him in shocked confusion.

"What do you mean?" Tali asked carefully as she looked up at the statue.

"There is something here… I can sense it." Javik breathed as he narrowed his eyes, his focus flicking from artifact to artifact. Liara launched into a long explanation of how asari religion had changed over the millennia, but Garrus' attention was caught by Shepard as he seemed to drift toward the pedestal at the statue's feet. The Commander's hand slowly rose up toward it, his eyes half lidded and his face blank.

Abruptly, Shepard drew back as though burned, his eyes going wide.

"There's a Prothean beacon here." He declared, cutting in over Liara, who gasped.

"What? You're sure?" She shook her head, her face caught between disbelief and fear.

"It's not something you forget." Shepard said as he turned back to Liara, and they launched into a heated debate regarding the asari's decision to hide such a discovery. Garrus couldn't say he was as surprised as Liara seemed to be, but he'd had his suspicions as soon as Jane had mentioned why they were coming to the asari homeworld in the first place.

Before they knew it, Javik was walking them through the activation process. "Incredible. The beacon seems to think you're Prothean, Shepard. It must be the Cipher you got back on Feros years ago." Liara gasped, but Javik, who was gesturing to the final activation point, turned and blinked at her.

"Or it could be the Prothean standing next to you."

Garrus was honestly pretty proud of his straight face and quiet subvocals as Liara glared at Javik heatedly.

They continued their search around the temple, and when the final point was activated, the statue gave an all mighty shudder before cracking down the middle and crumbling away to reveal a massive beacon.

"By the goddess…" Liara gasped as they approached slowly on unsteady feet.

"Literally." Garrus added, his eyes wide. It wasn't the goddess that the asari matriarchs had been praying up toward, but a treasure trove of data left behind by the Protheans.

They were bathed in green light as a VI hologram drifted down toward them, coming to a stop just before Liara. Garrus stood back as the others dove into discussion and debate with the Prothean VI. It took a form that looked similar to Javik, and seemed to recognize him as one of its own, which was proof enough to Garrus of the VI's authenticity. Even if not for that, its callus and flippant attitude was reminiscent of Javik's. Maybe all Protheans had been detached, unsympathetic assholes.

Perhaps it was thanks to Javik's presence, or perhaps it was Shepard's Cipher, but they seemed to be making progress in convincing the VI to give them the data they needed. Garrus couldn't think of the last time he'd needed to convince a VI to cooperate, but perhaps the Protheans had just programmed them to be ornery and persnickety.

The VI suddenly cut off its explanation just as they were starting to get answers. A bright light flooded the temple's main room, and Garrus registered the sound of a gunship.

"Indoctrinated presence detected." The VI morphed back into a spherical shape before retreating to the beacon. "Activating security protocols." They all turned toward the entrance to watch as a dark figure jumped down from the gunship.

"You." Garrus spat as his mandibles flared, anger seeping through him as he remembered his last confrontation with Kai Leng on the Citadel.

"You killed the scientists." Shepard stated, the pieces falling into place. How had Cerberus beaten them here? How had they known? "What do you want?" They all raised their weapons, but held their fire as Kai Leng approached slowly.

"Your attention." Kai Leng murmured, and instead of charging them, he pulled out a small drone which rose from his hand. A hologram of the Illusive Man materialized before them. He focused in on Shepard immediately, and while the two began debating, Kai Leng started pacing around the border of the room.

Garrus trained his rifle on the assassin, the barrel following his every movement. His attention didn't go unnoticed, and as their eyes locked, Kai Leng's lips turned up in a twisted smile.

"I've been looking forward to killing you, cuttlebone." He said, his voice dripping with silent promises like poisoned honey.

"What a coincidence." Garrus replied, his subvocals humming with barely contained malice. "I've been looking forward to putting a bullet between your eyes." Kai Leng drew his sword, twirling it in his hand, and when he caught it again, his grip tightened on the hilt.

"Once I'm done with you all, I'll go find your girlfriend," the man sneered in disgust, "and show her how Cerberus handles monster fuckers like her. I'm willing to bet all she needs is a reintroduction homegrown humans, and she'll be singing a different tune after a nice, hard fucking."

Garrus tasted bile in the back of his throat as Kai Leng's smirk widened. His finger tightened on the trigger, but he stiffened as he noticed the figures lurking in the dark behind the Cerberus operative. He'd brought backup.

"Ignore him." Tali spat angrily as she took a step closer to Garrus, her shotgun trained on the assassin. "He's probably just jealous because no one would willingly be with a piece of shit like him." She turned a disdainful eye on Kai Leng as his smile vanished.

"I'm finishing the Crucible!" Shepard exclaimed from across the room, cutting off the disturbing exchange as he jabbing a finger into the Illusive Man's hologram chest, "And I'm sending the Reapers back to hell!"

"I can't let you do that." The Illusive Man said with a sigh before turning suddenly and striding toward the exit. "Leng, the Commander has something I need. Please relieve him of it." His image began to shimmer, and the hologram vanished just as he added, "And bring me the data."

"Understood." Kai Leng said as the drone returned to his hand and he placed it back in his belt pouch. In an instant, he spun his sword around and dropped down low, ready to attack. Garrus immediately opened fire, and the assassin pulled up his barrier before darting into cover.

"John, we just ran into two Cerberus agents, and I suspect there's more lurking." Jane called out through the comm as the team found their own cover.

"We found what we've been looking for, but that bastard Kai Leng is here. We're going to need backup." Shepard replied tersely as he threw a biotic shockwave, toppling several benches.

"Understood. It's a rabbit warren back here, but we're on our way."

Like a flash, Shepard was off, charging after Kai Leng with vicious ferocity. The two were a blur as they exchanged blows, but Garrus did his best to keep up. He was at a distinct disadvantage against the Phantoms, their blades flashing as they darted up close to attack, but Tali's shotgun helped keep them at a range.

Every time Garrus focused too much of his attention on the other Cerberus operatives, however, Kai Leng would shoot an unexpected blast of energy toward him. He threw himself out of the way, just missing the latest blast of energy, and frowned as he watched Kai Leng block another shot from Shepard. Was he throwing pot shots at the others, too, or did he just have a special dislike for Garrus?

Kai Leng shot another energy blast toward him, and he ducked behind an artifact display. The world blurred, stars bursting in Garrus' vision as a statue collided with him in an explosion of pain and debris. A grinding crunch reverberated through his body as he toppled over. He hit the ground hard, rolling as he struggled to right himself, but then cried out as he tried to move his arm. His entire right side throbbed, but he could already feel a dull numbness spreading out from his elbow even as every nerve in his body screamed in pain.

"Garrus! You alright?" Shepard called out from somewhere, but Garrus' brain began to fog as he groaned, pulling his injured arm in tight. He managed to roll over before sitting up and scooting behind an upturned bench.

"I've felt better!" He replied as he reached for his pistol. He already knew this was something beyond the capabilities of medigel alone. His jaw clenched as he shifted before taking aim and catching a Phantom in the neck. "But I'll live!"

"You'd better!" Shepard quipped before darting past, wreathed in a biotic glow as he smashed into a nearby pillar. Kai Leng threw himself out of the way, bringing an arm up to protect himself from debris with a sneer.

"All of this is for nothing," he spat as Shepard emerged from the cloud of dust, firing off his shotgun. Kai Leng's shield caught the attack, "All you're doing is making humanity weaker!" He raised a hand, and a blast of energy shot toward Shepard, throwing him backwards.

"And you're using Reaper tech!" Shepard yelled as he got to his feet, cat-like as he rolled out of the way just in time to avoid a follow up. Garrus shifted his pistol in his lap, fumbling and struggling to load up a concussive round with one hand. Once he had it ready, he took aim and fired, catching Kai Leng hard in the shoulder. The assassin exclaimed in pain as he was thrown to the side, but he was on his feet again quickly, his shields still intact.

"We evolve or we die!" Kai Leng yelled as his sword flashed, and Shepard grunted as he raised an arm wreathed in biotic energy to block the attack.

"We can evolve as a species without sacrificing everything we are to the Reapers!" The two were locked in a power struggle as each tried to push the other back, the blade inching ever closer to Shepard. Garrus raised his weapon to take aim, but couldn't get a clear shot from his angle. He started pulling himself to his feet, wincing as he jostled his arm. "Just look how far we've come!" Shepard grunted through gritted teeth as he began pushing the blade back.

"We shouldn't need to debase ourselves before aliens in order to evolve." Kai Leng replied with a snarl as his hands began glowing with unnatural energy. The blade inched closer to Shepard as he grimaced. "Commander Shepard, savior of the galaxy," He continued, his voice dripping with mocking sarcasm as he bared down, pressing Shepard back another step, "content to stick his dick in some quarian slut. I can't even imagine the diseases you've probably contracted from that thing."

The words, so obviously designed to enrage, landed hard as Shepard's eyes widened in anger. With a shout, he let loose a burst of biotic energy that caused Kai Leng to stumble backwards.

"Don't you dare-" Shepard cut off with a grunt as Kai Leng's kick caught him hard in the side. He stumbled as the assassin whirled around, his blade flashing before sliding home with a sickening shiiiick.

"Shepard!" Garrus yelled in alarm, his eyes wide as his world froze.

The tip of the sword shone red, wet with the Commander's blood where it protruded through his back. He gasped in pain, a hand coming up to brush the hilt of the blade against his abdomen. He cried out as Kai Leng gave the blade a viscous twist.

With a burst of strength, Shepard brought a glowing fist up to catch Kai Leng sharply under the jaw. The assassin lept backwards as he held his aching, scorched chin, and Shepard stumbled to the side, the sword still embedded in his middle as blood poured down his side. The biotic energy around him fizzled and died as one of his knees buckled and he toppled sideways.

A modulated cry echoed through the room, and Tali darted toward Shepard, catching him with one arm as she brought her pistol up with the other to fire at Kai Leng. He danced back further, avoiding her shots with a smirk that made Garrus' blood boil.

"Leng, you bastard!" There was the sound of armored boots charging through the cavernous room. Jane flung herself at Kai Leng, her omni-blade barred and ready. He deflected the attack with the energy from his gauntlet and quickly pulled out his own omni-blade. The two quickly became a whirl of flashing blades and fists.

Waiting for a break in the fire as the others continued holding off the remaining Cerberus operatives, Garrus stood carefully. He crouched down low and darted over to kneel beside Shepard and Tali.

"How bad is it?" He asked, quickly taking in the wound before focusing in on Shepard's vitals through his visor.

"Not good." Tali grunted as she struggled to position Shepard as safely as best she could. "We need to get medigel on it quickly, or else he's going to bleed out." She was already drenched in the Commander's bright red blood, and Garrus nodded in acknowledgment.

There was a scream across the room, and Garrus looked up to see Jane's incineration burning up a section of Kai Leng's leg armor. The assassin brought up his barrier just in time to catch her follow up shots before darting into cover.

"Garrus, focus!" Tali snapped, her voice hard and bordering on frantic. He looked back down quickly and took a deep breath.

"Right, sorry. Okay, get ready. I'm going to pull it out, be ready to apply medigel as soon as it's free." The two worked together to stabilize Shepard as best they could, but even with the help of medigel, it didn't look good. The moment the blade was free, blood gushed from the wound to pool around them, and even medigel was struggling to seal it. The damage caused by the twist of the blade was extreme, and they needed to get him back to the Normandy and into Chakwas' care as soon as they could.

Shepard groaned, his face pale and clenched in pain as he shifted, his fingers reaching for the wound. They came away bloody.

"You're going to be alright." Tali whispered to him as she quickly applied another dose of medigel, her luminescent eyes wide with panic. "It's not too bad, you're going to be alright." No one replied, the lie floating in the air, unacknowledged but undeniable. Shepard smiled, his eyes losing focus as he looked up at her with a soft smile.

"Enough!" Kai Leng yelled suddenly. "There's only one way this ends." He brought a hand up to activate his comm, "Target the supports." The gunship appeared as though from nowhere a moment later, and a stab of fear shot through Garrus. For an instant, he was in a blood soaked Omega apartment, surrounded by the bodies of his dead team, staring down a different gunship.

"Everybody down!" Jane yelled as the first explosion hit. Garrus brought his good arm up to cover his face, and Tali threw herself over Shepard, protecting him from the debris as best she could. A pillar collapsed, and he could see Jane throw herself over it to avoid yet another as it began to fall. He and Tali began tugging Shepard out of the way as cracks began appeared on the floor, spider webbing out as more pillars began tumbling.

As Kai Leng confidently strode toward the console in the back of the room, Garrus reached for his sidearm. He began to take aim until he noticed a flash of red. Jane was clinging to a chunk of debris as the floor began crumbling around her.

"Cerberus thanks you for all your hard work." Kai Leng stated with honeyed smugness as the floor gave way beneath her, and Jane plummeted downwards.

"No!" Garrus exclaimed as he lurched to his feet and took off toward the widening chasm. This couldn't be happening, this couldn't be reality. It was some sort of dream, some sort of spirits-forsaken nightmare—

He ran right past Kai Leng as he siphoned the data from the Prothean beacon, falling to his knees as he reached the gaping maw in the floor. The darkness was cut by a single figure as she struggled to maintain her failing grip on a piece of rebar jutting out from the broken floor.

"Jane!" Garrus gasped as he thrust his good arm down to grab her firmly, screaming out in pain as his injured elbow hit the floor hard. "Hold on!" He grit out, even as he felt the floor cracking beneath him.

"I've got you!" Liara grabbed him before reaching down to help him pull Jane upwards. Together, they got her over the lip just in time to throw themselves back before the floor could crumble further. In an instant, Jane was up and running after Kai Leng as he strode toward the gunship. She stooped to grab Garrus' discarded pistol and fired off a few shots as she ran, but pulled up short as a cry rose behind her.

"Shepard! Hold on! No, keep your eyes open! Keelah!" Jane looked back toward where Tali leaned over Shepard, splayed out in a pool of his own blood. She looked back at the gunship and seemed to teeter, torn between giving chase and turning back.

"Goddamn it!" She screamed, firing off a few more random shots before turning and hurrying back toward her brother. Behind her, Kai Leng boarded the gunship, and it began taking off. "Joker! Get us an evac, ASAP! Liara, Javik, someone, anyone! Search the console, get whatever data from the beacon you can find that might help us!" She skidded to a stop as she dropped to her knees beside her brother, her hands coming to apply pressure on the wound as medigel struggled to knit shredded skin.

Around them, the rest of the team continued pulling themselves from the debris, none of them close enough to the gunship to do anything as it lifted into the sky. It disappeared from view, revealing the form of another Reaper descending from the sky on the horizon.

The walls around them shuddered as the ground shook, dust falling from the ruined ceiling above them. Garrus stood shakily, taking in the panorama of death and destruction. The sun set on Thessia, leaving nothing but blood and defeat in its wake. He tore his eyes away as another building fell prey to the Reaper's assault and turned to take stock of the team.

By some blessing, the rest of the team had survived the gunship's assault. But if Liara's defeated and downcast eyes were any hint as she stepped back from the beacon console, that was the only victory they were walking away with. On the floor nearby, Jane directed Tali to continue applying pressure to the wound. She tilted her brother's chin up slightly, then plugged Shepard's nose and covered his mouth with hers in what Garrus knew to be a human emergency lifesaving procedure.

Garrus stood there in a daze, his body throbbing, his broken arm numb and tinglilng, his head fuzzy, and it no longer seemed like he occupied his own body. The world had a dreamlike haze to it, as though none of it was real, and he prayed hopelessly that in a moment, he would wake from this nightmare in his own bunk.

Jane began administering chest compressions. Garrus forced his eyes away.

Spirits… This was desperately, horrifically real.


The following days aboard the Normandy were among the quietest that Garrus ever experienced. It was as though people were scared to raise their voices over a whisper as they went about their duties. Faces were drawn, eyes bleak as they moved through the ship. Garrus could see the concern and unvoiced worries in their expressions, and had this been a ship full of turians, he knew there would have been a low hum of fear in the air.

Defeat was not something that their crew was accustomed to, and more than one person's shoulders seemed to sag after the ship left Thessia's orbit. While they'd gotten Shepard to the medbay in time to save his life, Chakwas murmured that it had been very close call. He'd required hours of surgery to repair the damage, not to mention a great deal of blood and recovery time.

Jane, her mouth a grim line, took command of the Normandy in the meanwhile. The chain of command seemed to have blurred a little since the start of the war, and no one questioned her authority as she started dolling out orders.

They had no leads or direction for the next step in their mission. In the chaos following their return to the Normandy and Shepard's close brush with death, they'd lost any chance of following Kai Leng. Jane set Traynor to searching for any clue they could find regarding where Cerberus could have taken the data, and then immediately set a course for the Citadel.

Within an hour of arriving, Garrus found himself in Bryson's lab once more as they worked to puzzle out Leviathan's location. Without any other leads, Jane leaned into the one project that seemed to be moving forward. He was glad that James showed up to assist, as Garrus' arm was still in a sling and he was good for little more than brain power and moral support at the moment.

What surprised him most was Jane's ruthless and unnerving determination to push Ann Bryson to her limits in order to get the information she wanted. She and James nearly came to blows over it. Garrus knew she was more pragmatic than her brother at times, but as he watched James angrily carting Ann away, blood trickling from her nose, he wondered if they'd gone too far this time. James seemed to think they had.

"You okay?" Garrus asked quietly as they made for the door, and Jane grunted as she trudged toward the skycar.

"As soon as John's alright, I'll be fine." She muttered as she paused before the skycar and gazed upwards toward the fake Presidium sky. "Until then, we might as well track down Leviathan. It's not like we're any closer to figuring out what the Catalyst is anyway, thanks to Cerberus. The least I can do is track down this Reaper killer. Maybe it can help us, give us a clue or something." She finished with a growl, her face darkening as she scowled.

"Are you sure this is a good idea? Maybe we should wait until Shepard is completely healed. He's going to be on bed rest awhile longer, and I-" Garrus cut off as Jane turned flashing, angry eyes on him.

"I can handle this, Garrus." There was a hint of hurt in her voice, and he shook his head as he took a step closer to her.

"I know you can. And I'll be right behind you." Jane shot his sling a pointed, dubious look. "Chakwas said I'll be cleared for duty in a few more days." He added defensively, and Jane sighed as she crossed her arms.

"I'm not chancing it, not till you're completely healed." A lead ball thudded heavily into Garrus' belly at her words, and he swallowed hard.

"Don't leave me behind. Let me come with you." His words only seemed to stoke the flames of her ire, her eyes narrowing.

"I don't need your protection, Garrus. I'm not some goddamn, snot-nosed recruit in need of a babysitter." Jane spat, and he took a steadying breath as he forced himself to calm. He knew perfectly well that her current anger stemmed from something else entirely. Everyone on the Normandy seemed on edge these days, himself included.

"I know you don't need my protection." He stated with forced calm, "But I have a bad feeling about this mission. I don't like any of this. Please let me stay by your side so that we can get through this together." He entreated, their eyes locking in a battle of wills. They stared each other down for a few seconds before she finally relented.

"Fine. But only if Chakwas clears you for combat. I don't want anything bad happening to you, too." Garrus grinned in triumph, causing her to roll her eyes as she fought a smile. "Come on, let's get back to the Normandy. We're leaving as soon as we're restocked and everyone's back on board. We've got a Reaper killer to find."


"Jane, new readings from the probe." Cortez reported, his hands flicking through the shuttle's holo controls as they passed through the planet's atmosphere. "It's narrowed down Leviathan's location." He paused and looked back at them before adding, "You're not going to like it."

"Let's hear it." Jane sighed as she stepped up behind him. Garrus shared an anxious look with Ashley, who tightened her grip on the bar overhead as they hit a patch of turbulence.

"There's nothing but ocean." Cortez murmured as he pulled up a scan of the planet's surface. Garrus groaned as he tossed his shoulders.

"Greeeeat. Because I just love largebodies of deep water."

"What, afraid of a little dip in the ocean, Vakarian?" Ashley quipped with a grin, and Garrus shot her a deadpan stare.

"You obviously haven't seen turians swim. It's a lot of flailing and splashing, interrupted by occasional bouts of drowning." Jane suppressed a snort of laughter before returning her attention to Cortez.

"Anything else down there other than water?" She asked, but the pilot shook his head slowly.

"It shows a concentration of structures floating on the surface, but the probe's giving us a signal below that." He looked back at her again, his face pinched in confusion. "Way below."

"Under water?"

"Looks that way. The shuttle should still be able to reach it." Cortez pointed out, but Garrus didn't like the unsure cock of the man's head, as though he himself was unconvinced.

"That's possible?" Ashley marveled as she came to stand beside Jane, and Cortez nodded.

"The Kodiak is specced to nearly one thousand atmospheres… though I've never actually tested that." He explained, and Garrus resisted the urge to groan again.

"Guess we're going to find o-"

A huge pulse of energy hit the shuttle, sending them stumbling and scrambling for handholds. Main systems within the shuttle shut off immediately, leaving nothing but auxilery controls as they began losing altitude fast. By some miracle, they managed to crash land on what appeared to be the ruins of a much larger ship that protruded out of the choppy ocean waters.

Cortez quickly began attempting to restore power as Jane forced the door open, and Garrus and Ashley followed her out into the rain, their weapons drawn and ready.

If there was a poll for which planet most resembled hell, this one would be fairly highly ranked, Garrus decided. There was nothing but churning, tossing ocean in every direction, broken only by the wreckage of ships that had suffered a similar fate to theirs. The skies were a tangle of storm clouds that crashed and undulated like a twisted mirror of the waves below, and rain pelted their exposed skin like icy daggers.

Keeping a firm footing was nearly impossible thanks to the violent rocking of the waves below them and the slick, rain soaked metal underfoot. One false step would send them careening into the cold and unforgiving depths below the surface.

Before they could do more than poke at a few long abandoned crates, there was the loud thrum of an encroaching Reaper. Soon, they were in a life or death firefight with Reaper forces as they began landing aboard the derelict ship, forcing the three of them to defend the shuttle as Cortez worked quickly to get it operational again. But even with all the chaos going on around them, it wasn't until they found the diving mech during a gap in the assault that Garrus decided things had spiraled completely out of control.

"Listen, Jane, I'm all for crazy ideas," Garrus began as he stepped up toward the mech, "but this one's off the charts." He looked upwards to where Jane had already buckled herself into the pilot's chair. She sighed, but didn't move, and his heart hammered harder in his chest.

"I know. But we've come too far to stop now. The way home is through Leviathan, and we can't die down here. If John comes after us, and you know he would, then he'd be trapped, too. And then the galaxy would be as good as dead." Garrus wanted to argue, but he couldn't. She was absolutely right, damn her, and he hated it. There had to be something, some other option-

"Okay, seals check out." Cortez said as he rounded the mech, his omni-tool out. Somewhere behind him, Garrus could hear Ashley muttering darkly to herself. "Oxygen pressure is nominal. Systems are a go." Cortez continued before hitting a button on his omni-tool and looking up toward Jane. "It's as ready as I can make it."

Garrus grappled with a sudden surge of anger toward Cortez for enabling Jane to go through with this insane plan. He gripped the feeling tightly and stomped it back down. Spirits, he wanted to scream.

"Let's go." Jane stated firmly with a quick nod, her eyes shifting to gaze out over the roiling waves. Garrus choked back his panic, and took another step closer.

"But Jane-"

"I'll be fine." Their eyes met, and Garrus bit back the tide of objections, concerns, and fears, and nodded instead. He drank her in, his eyes darting across her face, forcing himself to memorize every detail as fast as he could. There was a non-zero chance that this was the last time he'd ever see her. He swallowed and kept a firm grip on his subvocals as he stepped back. There was so much he wanted to say, but- "Closing hatch."

The hatch snapped shut. Garrus forced himself to look away.

"Engaging systems… Ready." He looked up at the sound of her voice as it emanated from Cortez's omni-tool.

"Testing comm link." The pilot said, and on the screen that popped up, the tiny picture of Jane nodded.

"I read you." She hit a few buttons, and the mech groaned as it shifted forward. "Here goes."

"For the record," Ashley muttered, "I think this is a horrible idea." The mech took one step, then another.

"Noted." Jane replied dryly as the mech neared the edge of the ship. It teetered precariously on the edge, and Garrus spared a moment to hope she was reconsidering. "Commencing dive in 3… 2… 1…"

The mech took the final step and plummeted down into the dark, churning waves. It sank instantly, gone without leaving more than a few bubbles behind. Garrus stood there on the edge watching the bubbles until they, too, faded to nothing.

Something in him sank beneath the waves along with her.

Ashley stepped up beside him and put a reassuring hand on his shoulder. "She'll be okay. She always is."

"Yeah." He replied dully, more a grunt than anything. He wiped a dip of water from his brow plate and cursed the never ending rain.

"Her vitals are strong, no issues so far." Cortez reported after a minute, then pulled up the comm again. "How's the suit holding up, Jane?"

"Lo-tsst- good so fa-tsssst-" came her reply, the quality of both the audio and video significantly worse than before. Cortez began to fiddle with the connection.

"Good. I'm getting some comm interference on this end. Hang on." The video cut out, and Garrus' stomach sank into his feet as cold dread seeped in. Another burst of static burst through the comm, but nothing intelligible. "Jane, can you read me? We're losing your signal." Cortez pushed another few commands, growling in frustration. "Something is blocking your comm. Please respond."

No response. Nothing but static.

Garrus leaned over Cortez's arm, "Jane! Can you hear me?" Nothing. He stepped back and spun around as he ran a hand over his crest. "Dammit!" His mind raced as he consider his options. There had to be something he could do. "Cortez, are there any other mechs?"

"None that are both properly equipped and functioning, no." the pilot replied with a grimace, and Garrus struggled with a conflicted, guilty relief. He desperately wanted to go after Jane, but the thought of submerging beneath the choppy waves made him want to be sick. He began pacing, his feet splattering water in puddles as the rain picked up.

"Garrus, give her some time. She'll figure this out. The interference is probably because of Leviathan, not because anything happened to her." Ashley said after a minute, and Garrus huffed a sigh as he turned to her.

"I know. You're right, she's probably fine. I just-" He cut off as he looked away, out over the violent, terrifying ocean. What if she wasn't? "I just don't want to lose her. Not here, not like this." A sudden swell of anger hit him hard in the chest and he clenched his jaw.

"It's hard when you love someone, I get it. Especially in the middle of a galactic war. But I'm glad you guys have each other to lean on through everything," Ashley murmured as she hugged herself.

"Yeah, well, it's hard at times like this. She could be dead right now, and there's nothing I can do. She may never come back, and I'd never even know what happened to her." Garrus grit out, seething with indignation and hurt. Logically, he understood why she'd thrown herself into the unknown for the sake of the mission and their very survival. And yet, being forced to sit here and wait while she risked everything with next to no intel… It was infuriating.

Ashley looked up at him, watching, weighing, before turning to look out over the water.

"My little sister's husband died not that long ago." She murmured, the words heavy as they fell from her lips. "They were on their honeymoon when the Reapers attacked. He got called back to duty, and she joined my mother and sisters on Earth." She paused and looked down at the ground. "He died in the line of duty not long afterwards."

"I'm… sorry to hear that." Garrus muttered, his anger simmering down to a slow thrum beneath his plates.

"We held a memorial for him on the Citadel recently. We'd all been confused when they got married, since Sarah didn't use to like military life." Ashley looked up again, a small wistful smile on her face as she looked inwards, reveling in the memory of her family. "But she was so happy when they got married. She really loved him."

The two of them stood there in silence, the broken and battered ship undulating beneath their feet as rain continued to fall. Garrus did his best not to shiver, but the dampness soaking down into his under suit wasn't the only thing chilling his insides. Besides the indignation he felt at Jane's spur-of-the-moment decision, and the anxiety that he might never see her again, he now felt an unexpected poignant reminder of how fleeting happiness could be. Why was Ashley telling him this now of all times?

"After the memorial, I asked her if she had any regrets. If she wished she hadn't married him, only for him to die immediately." Ashley continued after a minute, her voice quiet and pensive. "I don't know why I asked that. It seems so stupid and insensitive now. But she just smiled at me and shook her head." Ashley turned to look sidelong at Garrus, "She pointed out that the time they'd had together had been a blessing, and that she wouldn't have traded it for the world."

They stood in silence, the words rattling around in Garrus' head before slipping home one by one. Finally, he sighed, some of the muscles in his back loosening. How many times had he almost lost Jane in the past year? He didn't have enough fingers to keep track. Time was never a guarantee during war. Losing her would destroy him, he knew that. But if he were to lose her, would he wish he'd never loved her? Would he wish he'd never let her get so close?

He huffed a small laugh. He couldn't imagine a world in which Garrus Vakarian didn't love Jane Shepard with every ounce of his being.

"Yeah, I think I know what she means." He said as he looked back at Ashley, who smiled in return.

"She may eventually go on to love someone else and remarry, but she will also love Thomas forever. I think she was happy to have had the chance to say her vows to him before he died."

"Yeah." Garrus murmured absently as something clicked into place, sudden resolve wrapped around him like a warm blanket. He might not know where his family was or have any idea if they'd ever be reunited, but cultural expectations be damned.

If Jane made it out of this alive, if they ever made it back to the Normandy in one piece, he was going to ask her to become his bondmate.

For a long time after the Reapers had arrived, he'd pushed the desire to the back of his mind. It hadn't seemed like a priority as the galaxy burned around them. But if he or Jane were to die, he'd regret not having taken that step along side her. He wanted to pledge himself to her for life, he wanted her to know without a doubt that he would love her forever. Even if forever ended sooner than they would like.

Garrus turned to thank Ashley, but cut off as something collided hard with the derelict ship. He struggled to keep his balance, grabbing Ashley before she could pitch forward into the water.

A familiar guttural roar broke over the sound of the waves, and Garrus swallowed the lump of fear in his throat. They both threw themselves into cover as they drew their weapons.

"Jane had better hurry up, or else there won't be much left of us for her to return to." Ashley growled as the brute roared again.

"Crap. Cortez, what's your status?"

"I'm fine, but you're going to need to keep them off me as I finish checking the systems." Cortez reported from inside the now closed shuttle. "I need to make sure this thing is good and ready to go in case Jane gets that pulse offline."

"Understood." Garrus replied before firing off a burst at an encroaching husk. "We'll do the best we can."

The minutes ticked by as they held off the ever-growing hoard of monstrosities, but every second that passed made the odds of survival slimmer. The storm only seemed to worsen as white, foaming waves crashed over the side of the derelict ship, the pockmarked metal slick and perilous.

Another fireball hit, shaking the ground again, and Garrus cursed as another brute emerged from the embers. "Dammnit." His last reserves of hope dwindled, pooling at his feet with the rain and ocean water around him.

Garrus couldn't help the sardonic chuckle that forced its way up. Of all the places for it to end, he hadn't expected to die cornered and huddling on a hunk of metal and debris floating on the ocean. And of course it was right when he'd decided to take a bondmate, because that was the sort of luck he had.

"We need to fall back, or else we're-" Garrus cut off as something erupted out of the ocean. It landed hard, and his eyes widened as he recognized Jane's mech. "Jane!" He called out through the comm, "Jane, do you read?"

There was no answer and his heart seized in his chest until the mech took one, then two stumbling steps forward. The cockpit snapped open, and he could breathe again as he finally laid eyes on her.

"Ja-" He cut off his excited exclamation as she pitched forward, collapsing to the ground at the mech's feet. It toppled backwards as she struggled to pick herself up, but Garrus could tell something was wrong. She glanced around, her eyes glazed and confused, and there was a small trickle of blood coming from her nose.

Jane's arms gave out, and she slumped forward just as the nearest brute took notice of her. Garrus cursed under his breath as he took aim and fired, but the gigantic beast paid him no mind. It took a step toward her as Jane finally managed to push herself up onto her feet, but her legs seemed to be made of rubber as she wobbled, stumbling to the side.

Garrus willed her to snap out of whatever daze she was in as he loaded up a concussive shot. She slumped to her knees as the brute took another step toward her and roared, but she didn't appear aware of her surroundings as she struggled to support her own weight. The concussive round caught the brute in the side of the head, but it gave itself a shake before raising its giant clawed fist into the air to attack.

Garrus stood, preparing to run to her, but the brute froze suddenly, mid strike. It was as though someone had hit pause, its entire body still and stiff. Without a moment's hesitation, it turned and smashed its claw into its compatriot, backhanding it hard enough to send it reeling. It delivered another devastating blow, and Garrus took his chance.

Darting forward, he quickly scooped Jane into his arms before turning back toward cover. Whatever had happened down beneath the waves, the pulse that had disabled the shuttle seemed to be gone. Cortez brought the shuttle around, and the three of them were loaded within seconds. Before they knew it, they were hurdling through the planet's atmosphere toward the safety of the Normandy.

What relief Garrus felt vanished as he turned his attention to Jane where she lay on the shuttle floor. She was unmoving, her skin pale and unnaturally grey. Her eyes were shut, her breathing shallow, labored, and uneven. He quickly pulled up her vitals on his visor and his eyes widened.

"She's freezing!" he hissed before turning to Ashley. "Pull out the thermal blankets and-" He cut off as Jane began coughing. The movements were violent, her body curling into a ball as she seemed to convulse with each exhalation. He began rubbing her back, and when the fit finally subsided, her cheeks had more color than before. She opened her eyes and struggled to sit up, seemingly aware of her surroundings for the first time. "You okay?"

"Yeah." Jane murmured, her voice hoarse and feeble. She coughed again as he helped her up onto a seat, and he checked her vitals. Her temperature was rising slowly, the thermal coils in her suit doing their job. "Yeah." she repeated, more firm and sure. "I'm fine. Hell of a headache, though." She brought a hand up to brush her face, frowning when she noticed the smear of blood from her nose. She scrubbed at it before looking away.

Garrus stood, bringing himself to his full height as he looked down at her, his anger from earlier struggling to be released. He kept a firm hold on its leash. "Never do that again." he growled, his mandibles held close to his face. Jane looked up at him, her eyes wide in surprise. She looked so tired, battered, and beaten, and it was impossible to stay angry at her like this. He moved to sit beside her and wrapped an arm around her shoulder, pulling her close. "Please don't go where I can't follow."

"I'm sorry," she whispered as she leaned into him, and his forgiveness hummed in his subvocals. Ashley began asking about what happened with Leviathan, but Garrus barely registered anything other than it had been a success. All he wanted to focus on was how lucky he was that Jane was here with him, living, breathing, and seemingly still herself.

He gave him a moment to marvel at how close they had come to utter ruin. Between John nearly dying on Thessia, and Jane's close call going after Leviathan, the galaxy had nearly been left with no Shepards to lead it in the war against the Reapers. Garrus shivered and thanked the spirits.

The shuttle shot through space, every moment bringing them closer to home, and Garrus remembered his earlier promise to himself. He had planning and research to do.


(Note: Well, folks, good news and bad news. Good news is that we're so very close to the end. So very very close! The bad news is that life is kicking my butt right now, and writing is moving very slowly (though it IS still moving). I've nearly run down my buffer of completed chapters for the first time since starting this fic nearly two years ago. Please be patient and understanding that I'm doing the best I can, and hope to have it wrapped up as soon as I can. I haven't come this far to drop the ball now, damn it. Any support and encouragement you can offer is always appreciated, the going has been difficult lately. Thank you, lovely readers! And double thank you to my beta reader thelordofdarkreunion and to my friend Kalliesa(Ao3) for all the moral support. Wouldn't be here today without these two, and you should take a moment to check out their stories.)